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“Have you ever been in love, Newt?”
Dumbledore’s voice is soft as he speaks, but he doesn’t look at him: his eyes are focused on the single rose he keeps between his hands. Newt doesn’t know who gave it to him, or when, even though he has a vague idea.
He doesn’t dare to ask.‘Yes,’ he wants to answer, but Dumbledore goes on without giving him the chance to respond. His next words feel personal, intimate, as if the professor is simply talking to himself.“I have, you know? And I still am. In love, I mean.” Newt can almost feel his regret, his pain, and it scares him. It puts their situation into perspective. The ministry has been so... unfair to Dumbledore, expecting him to move against Grindelwald at a given order, without taking anything else into consideration.It makes Newt angry.Would they be able to fight the person they care for the most? Would they be strong enough to hurt the person who meant, and still means, the world to them? “No matter what happens, I will always lose. There’s no possible scenario in which I come out as winner.” He stops for a moment, just enough to let Newt grasp the implications of what he is saying.“If I lose our fight, there will be nothing left between Grindelwald and his dreams, and we can’t let this happen. I know we can’t. But if I win...” he flinches. Hard. “If I win then I... how can I keep going, knowing that I ruined his life? How will I be able to sleep at night knowing that while I’m safe and warm in my bed my love is rotting in chains because of me?”Newt is not a legilimens, and he isn’t the best when it comes to connecting with people, but he can feel the pain radiating from Dumbledore, and it makes him wonder once more how can someone expect so much of him. Because the professor is right. No one would ever be able to keep on living with that realization.And he... doesn’t have a choice.
They have to fight, and their duel will either end with Dumbledore’s corpse, or Grindelwald behind bars, with his lover’s soul fading with him.