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Walking into his Gran’s house for the first time in six years had not been easy for Teddy. He had told Ginny and Harry when he’d left for America - nineteen and his heart so full of pain he’d thought he’d die from it - he didn’t expect them to keep the old house in order. A month after he’d left, however, he’d received a letter explaining that they were planning to do the exact opposite, and had already made arrangements to have the house cleaned once a month. When he’d walked through the door it had quickly become apparent that despite being cleaned regularly, the house had gone untouched since the day he’d walked out of it. All of his Gran’s belongings and all of the memories that accompanied them had been waiting for him to finally confront them.So, Teddy had been doing just that for the last week — crying, laughing, cleaning, remembering, mourning — and all of it by himself. The whole thing had been extremely lonely, which is why, without so much as an owl or a floo call, he finds himself on the Potter family’s porch. Yes, walking into his Gran’s house had been difficult, but confronting memories and ghosts was nothing compared to the feeling of standing only a few metres away from the people he’d walked away from all those years ago.
Sure he’d exchanged the occasional owl with Harry and Ginny, and his godfather had even insisted on visiting twice, but he hadn’t been home in all that time. He had stayed away too long and he knew it. It wasn’t as if he’d been worried he wouldn’t be welcomed with open arms, no, quite the opposite actually. The Potters and Weasleys were a loving, accepting family who were almost his own, but not quite; a distinction that had never really mattered before because he’d had his Gran waiting for him when he got home. He didn’t want to test the bond he shared with the family, didn’t want to feel that separateness and have it be a reminder of everything he didn’t have any more. So he’d left and stayed away long enough that any distance was his choosing.Now that he’s standing on this porch, though, and the memories are flooding back, he wonders, not for the first time, if he’s made the wrong call. The last time he’d stood on this spot, he’d been saying goodbye to his favourite person, a thirteen year old James Potter. Despite the age gap, the two had always been very close and breaking the news to him had been excruciatingly painful.
“I’m sorry. I have to do this,” Teddy said.
“You don’t have to. No one is making you, Teddy,” James shouted frantically, his frustration noticeable in a way that Teddy had never seen before. “We can figure this out. Just…stay.”
Teddy swallowed around the lump in his throat. “You don’t understand why it would be hard for me to be here?” he pleaded.
“No!” James yelled, tears spilling over onto his freckles. “It should be easier because you’re here with me. I can take care of you, Ted.”
“Jamie – “ Teddy started, his own voice breaking.
“No! You don’t get to call me that when you’re…when you’re leaving me,” he spat, his voice breaking into a sob as he ran into the house, slamming the door behind him.
He was swiping at his eyes angrily when his godfather approached and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “He’ll cool down. Just give him some time.”
He hadn’t though. Teddy had sent James several letters over his first year away but all of them went unanswered. Assuming that James just needed time, that he’d come around and start corresponding eventually, Teddy stopped trying and just waited; waited for something that never came. The other Potters gave him vague updates on his former partner in crime but nothing in his life, not pseudo-family, friends, or lovers could ever take the place of the freckled-faced boy that he’d left behind.The separation had hurt but he would never hold it against James. Teddy only hoped that he would be forgiven for his own wrongs – the abandonment, the cowardice – there was only one way to find out though. Steeling any nerves, he lifts his arm and knocks twice. Hearing muffled yells through the door has him smiling to himself; the Potters were never known for their quiet manner and he’s happy to hear that this, at least, hasn’t changed. After a few moments, the door is wrenched open and standing, bathed in dim light from the entryway, is none other than his godfather, Harry Potter.“Oh my God!” Harry shouts, launching himself at Teddy with such force that they both stumble from the impact. Teddy laughs, bringing his own arms up to wrap around his godfather. “You’re here,” Harry states, pulling him back and shaking Teddy by the arms. “Ginny, get in here! Look who’s home!”Home. Is he home? The comforting embrace and the familiar scent of the Potter’s house certainly has him blinking back a sudden sting of tears. He can’t help but feel an immense emptiness in his chest though. Maybe this is just what returning to his old life feels like without his Gran by his side.He’s dimly aware of Harry firing questions at him and is about to devote more attention to answering them when a gasp sounds from over Harry’s shoulder. “Teddy!” Ginny yells as she rips him from Harry’s arms and pulls him to her, a stray strand of fiery, red hair catching on his lips as she hugs him. “How are you?”Teddy leans back, his face breaking into a genuine smile at the sight of her. “I’m good. Happy to be back,” he says honestly.“Teddy?” An unfamiliar voice pulls his attention into the hallway. The sight of a young man has his breath stutter for a moment, initially assuming it’s James, but with a hard look it’s rapidly apparent that that’s where the brothers’ similarities begin and end. The dark haired boy is still a head shorter than Teddy but no longer has the pudginess around his cheeks that scream childhood. The sight in front of him is a punch to the gut, a reminder of how long he’s actually been away.“You’ve got to be kidding me. Albie?” Teddy exclaims as he forces the teenager into a reluctant hug.“It’s definitely Albus now,” he says with an eyeroll and a smile. “How’ve you been Teddy?”“OH MY GOD! TEDDY LUPIN!” The exclamation comes out as more of a screech than anything, startling everyone involved in the little reunion. Before he can fully process her presence, Teddy has an armful of Lily.Lily had been his most consistent pen pal during his time away, the correspondence morphing from charmed drawings of dragons to heartfelt letters over the years. Despite her apparent maturity in written communication, he had still pictured the nine year old who he had left and is wholly unprepared for her looking so much like Ginny. He swallows hard; trying to shake the discomfort that accompanies the realization that little Lily Potter now has breasts.“Lily, let him breathe,” Harry says, detaching his youngest child from Teddy’s shoulders and immediately pulling him to his side.“Look who’s talking.” Ginny laughs, pulling at Teddy’s wrist. “Come on, Teddy. We were just about to sit down to eat.”An hour later, and Teddy is well fed, and his face hurts from laughing so hard. It’s amazing how natural he feels being back with the Potters – playfully teasing Albus, chastising Lily, joking with Ginny and Harry – it’s so much more comfortable than any interactions with his friends in America had been.“I know a guy, Maximus Blight, over in the American ministry. He says you do good work,” Harry says, taking a swig of his drink.“You keeping tabs on me, old man?” Teddy asks with a laugh but the thought of Harry caring enough to watch over him, floods his chest with warmth. “I liked my work over there. Werewolf rights are important. It’s part of what kept me there so long.”“Do you think you want to stick with it?” Harry asks, hopefully. “We have a Beings division, same as the States.”Teddy smiles warmly. Honestly he knew it had been irresponsible to pack up and move back to England without a job prepared but he’d been worried if he didn’t do it then, he never would. “I’d like to continue with it but if it’s not in the cards, I’ll figure something out.”“Let me talk to Hermione,” Harry says plainly, as if he’d been waiting for that response. “I’m sure, with your experience, they can put you to use.”“You don’t have to do that,” Teddy answers.“I know I don’t have to do that, Ted. I want to,” Harry replies with a smile.Teddy’s chest feels tight at the fondness in his godfather’s voice. He looks down, swiping his finger over the neck of the beer bottle in his hands. He opens his mouth to respond, assuming the quiet that has settled over the room is because of his hesitation. However, when his eyes flick up to meet Harry’s, he sees that no one is looking at him, but rather at the doorway to the kitchen.When Teddy looks over his shoulder, all breath leaves him. Standing in the doorway, looking completely dumbfounded, is none other than James Sirius Potter and he’s beautiful . It’s a strange first thought to have when looking at a man, stranger still when it’s someone who Teddy has actual memories of holding as an infant. Still though, even after seeing Albus and Lily all these years later, he’s unprepared for the changes in James. His shoulders; filled out. His jaw; sharp and angular. His arms; muscular and very visible beneath his tight t shirt. Under that, however, are the features that have always been synonymous with James in Teddy’s mind – the unruly mop of dark hair, the spattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose, and the mischievous twinkle in his eyes that never seems to leave.
“Jamie,” Teddy says, all breath.James smiles, it’s uneasy but it’s there. “Teddy,” he replies. “You’re here.”Someone lets out a chuckle at the obviousness of the statement but after being away so long, Teddy can’t say who. “How long will you be visiting for?” James asks.“Oh,” Teddy starts stupidly. “Um…I’m back, actually. I just moved my stuff back into my Gran’s.”He watches dumbly as James nods and visibly swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the movement. Teddy is sure that they are staring at each other too long but isn’t sure how to proceed. Can he hug him? Would that be weird? Why would that be weird when it isn’t with Albus or Lily? Why is this so awkward? And why is his mouth suddenly so bloody dry?
“Are you guys going to greet each other properly or just stand there?” Harry asks with a chuckle.Teddy awkwardly stands at Harry’s words, moving cautiously towards James and is surprised to see that the boy – no, the man – now stands only an inch or two shorter than him. James offers him a quick, shaky smile before pulling Teddy into his embrace, the strength in his arms a surprise despite his earlier observation. There’s a brief moment of stiffness where Teddy considers pulling back but before he has the chance, James melts against him.The smell of him is no longer familiar but it’s so good because it’s James. His James. He tries to fight the lump in his throat, to blink away the impending tears but he knows it’s a losing battle. A sob wracks through him and he would have hoped that James didn’t notice but by the way his grip tightens, he knows he already has. He feels immensely stupid, not for crying, but because he hadn’t realized. All that time away, even with all the unanswered letters, he hadn’t realized how much he had missed James.They hug for what is probably too long and when they pull back, Teddy can see that James is just as affected as he lets out a sigh of frustration at himself before scrubbing his hands over his face. “Teddy Lupin,” he says in a deep, disbelieving voice, smacking Teddy’s arm and flashing him a lopsided grin. “Welcome home.”“Isn’t Fred coming tonight?” Albus interjects in a way that makes it clear he’s been wondering since James stepped through the door. For the first time, Teddy feels embarrassed about the audience for their reunion.James shakes his head. “He said he’ll meet us there. If we’re still –““We are!” Albus replies much too forcefully. “It’s my last night of freedom before school tomorrow. No matter how dramatic Teddy’s return, I’m getting properly pissed tonight.”“Albus!” Ginny chastises.“Jesus, that’s right you’re of age now,” Teddy says, rubbing the back of his neck, self-consciously. “I really have been gone too long.Albus flashes him a cheesy smile. “So what do you say? Wanna come out?”“I don’t want to impose,” he starts.“Don’t be ridiculous.” “Shut up.” The brothers respond simultaneously, making everyone snicker.Teddy smiles warmly, his heart feeling fuller than it has been in years. “Alright. Let’s do it.”George’s son Fred had never been someone that Teddy had given much thought. Being only three years apart, they should’ve been the best of mates but between being sorted into different houses and Teddy spending his teen years snogging Victoire, it had never panned out that way. This fact, Teddy learns tonight, had been a grave oversight on his part because Fred’s sharp wit and easy demeanor make him an absolute blast to be around. After only a few hours and a few glasses of firewhiskey, he has already agreed to join their regular nights out.“Where’s Scor tonight?” James asks.Albus shrugs. “He’s spending some time with his dad. We figure that we’ll see enough of each other this year –““Oh hello….” Fred cuts in. “Look up at the bar,” he whispers conspiratorially causing all three pair of eyes to swivel towards the bar. “No! Don’t look.”“You literally just told us to look,” James replies, dryly.“I meant look subtly.” His eyes are fixed on a rather mature looking woman. “Come on Albus, I need you to wingman for me,” he says, standing and pulling on his cousin’s sleeve.Albus rolls his eyes dramatically in their direction but doesn’t hesitate, following close on his cousin’s heels.An awkward atmosphere settles over the table as James seems to realize the same thing, that they’re alone for the first time in years. Teddy’s eyes shift to James who is picking nervously at the label on his beer bottle, worrying his lip between his teeth, the look oddly endearing on him.“I’m sorry,” James says so suddenly that Teddy has a moment of confusion, but when their eyes meet, there’s no questioning that the apology is for more than the uncomfortable vibe.“James...you were a kid,” he says.“Yeah, but then I wasn’t,” James says with a weak smile. “I didn’t understand and then once I did, it felt weird…like too much time had passed, and I wanted to talk to you in person –““But I never came home,” Teddy finishes for him; the guilt settling, making his chest tighten uncomfortably.“Right.” James says, his hands and eyes returning to the label as if he had paused an important task to apologize and needed to return to it immediately. A moment passes before he speaks again, so quietly that Teddy has to lean forward to hear him. “Why didn’t you? Come home, I mean. We missed you, you know?”“I don’t know.” Teddy says on a sigh. “It was just easier. I never wanted to feel like a burden.”“Teddy. That’s –““I know that your parents never would’ve looked at it that way but I didn’t want to feel like that,” Teddy says, attempting to articulate his feelings and failing. “I just needed some time, I guess. And some time turned into a lot of time. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. It was selfish. I missed you, though…a lot.”Their eyes meet, the hazel of James’s penetrating into him and Teddy feels inexplicably breathless. He swallows hard trying to understand why the air around them suddenly feels charged. Two things suddenly occur to him; 1) that it’s not normal to stare into a friend’s eyes in the middle of a pub, and 2) that he has clearly drunk entirely too much firewhiskey because despite that knowledge, he can’t seem to tear himself away. Saving him from his internal quandary, James shakes his head abruptly.“It’s so weird,” James says thoughtfully, “I thought you’d have changed for some reason.”Teddy swallows hard, willing himself to act normally. “I guarantee it’s much weirder for me,” he says with a laugh. “You were always my favourite but now…I don’t know, I guess it’s just cool that you’re a grown up. Remember when you started at Hogwarts and my mates used to take the piss because I let you hang around all the time?”“I was always just mature for my age,” James says and Teddy can’t help but let out a snort.“HA! No. Not at all what I was going to say.” He takes a swig of his drink, suddenly pensive. “You’ve always been magnetic though. Even when you were younger. People are just drawn to you, Jamie.” There it is again, that shift in the air surrounding them and Teddy feels entirely wrong-footed.“James, your fucking evil ex is here,” Albus announces, startling them both by falling into the booth, followed by Fred, his drink splashing dangerously around the rim of his glass.“Ooooh, an ex?” Teddy asks. “Bad blood between you, I reckon?”“You could say that,” James answers.“Bad blood? More like your ex is a fucking, cheating wanker,” Fred supplies helpfully.“Which one is she?” Teddy asks, straining in his seat to get a good look at the bar.“She?” Albus blurts out, the effects of the firewhiskey apparent by his lack of volume control. “Do you seriously not know James is gay? It’s Cassius Blecher over there; he was a couple of years below you at Hogwarts. Remember?”Teddy’s mouth drops open at the word ‘gay’ and he doesn’t seem to remember how to close it. How could Lily have forgotten to tell him? His eyes shift to James on their own accord and his heart lurches at the apparent discomfort on James’s face. Sweet Merlin, he’s gone and made himself look homophobic now.“Yeah…right. I remember Cassius,” Teddy answers distractedly, his mind sifting through ways to let James know that he supports him that don’t involve naming every gay friend he’s ever had.“He’s looking this way,” Albus shouts. “He saw you. Quick. Kiss Fred!”“Ew,” James says, his face twisting into a look of utter revulsion, his apparent disgust overtaking the hurt from a moment earlier. “I’m not kissing my cousin. Besides he knows Fred is straight anyway.”“Whatever - Teddy, then.” Teddy, then? Oh. Kiss Teddy? He could kiss James! They’re asking him to kiss James and what better way to let someone know that you’re okay with two men snogging than by snogging a man!“Albus, Teddy’s not –“Teddy moves so quickly that James doesn’t have time to finish his thought. He cups James’s jaw and tilts his chin up, bringing their lips together. It should hardly qualify as a kiss, just pressure where their mouths meet chastely, but even that small connection has Teddy’s heart beating rapidly. James, who at first is too stunned to move, smiles against his lips and brings his own arms up to wrap around Teddy’s back. He is dimly aware of Fred’s pounding on the table and Albus’s catcalls but can currently only focus on the fact that James’s mischievous tongue just swiped across his bottom lip. Not willing to let him win, he fists a tuft of hair at the back of the freckled man’s neck and pulls, deepening the kiss. James makes a quiet, startled sound in the back of his throat and Teddy feels like his whole body is on fire, his focus narrowing to only James in his arms. He’s suddenly hit with both the realization that he rather enjoys kissing James and with a peanut that Albus had chucked at the duo’s heads, causing the two men to pull apart.“He’s gone,” Albus says, a curious expression on his face.Teddy smiles and does his best to joke with the table, but his mind remains otherwise occupied. What the fuck is he doing? He’s never in his life kissed a man before, never kissed someone six years younger than him, never kissed someone who was practically family. Whatever the case, though, it is apparent that coming home is going to be a bit more complicated than he had originally expected.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
To be perfectly honest, when Teddy had imagined being back in England he thought it would mean a home cooked meal on the holidays and celebratory drinks after major life milestones. He did not expect to be instantly welcomed back into the family so completely. After only three months, he is completely settled into the Being Division of the Department and Regulation of Magical Creatures, often working alongside Hermione. He regularly grabs lunch with his godfather. He has a standing invitation to the Weasley’s Sunday dinners, courtesy of Gran Molly herself. And, most importantly, he has a best mate who crashes at his house more often than not.Aspects of reintegrating into his old life that he had assumed would be challenging – seeing Victoire again, for example – had quickly proven to be easy. Great even, if the fact that he is currently bouncing her baby, Cici, in his lap, is any indication. On the other hand, completely unexpectedly, his biggest challenge is one James Sirius Potter. Teddy always identified as straight but after he and James’s drunken kiss in the pub and the intimacy of their interactions since, well, if James was a woman he wouldn’t be questioning that they were on a path to more than friendship. Every smile or brush of the hands leaves him inexplicably flustered and mentally screaming, just mates , we’re just mates .“Let me know if you need me to take her,” Victoire says from where she is lounging on the couch with an effortless grace that only she can manage.“No, no. We’re good right now. We’re just getting acquainted, aren’t we Cici?” he half sings, morphing his face into a bear snout and causing the little blonde baby to explode into giggles.A commotion at the far side of the room draws his attention away from his chubby-cheeked companion. James has arrived and is picking his way through the room, greeting aunts and uncles and slapping cousins on the back in turn. His hair is slightly damp and he is wearing light wash jeans and a navy blue button-down with the sleeves rolled up haphazardly, showing just how much he’d been rushing after practice. Teddy smiles at the thought of him anxiously sitting through the post-practice meeting, eyes flitting to the clock every few minutes, realizing how much of family dinner he was missing. As if sensing his gaze, James finds his eyes in the crowd, the corner of his mouth twitching ever so slightly. Teddy tries his best to ignore the way his stomach flips at the sight and brings his focus back to the baby, making a stupid sound with his mouth, more to distract himself from the fit – Jesus, where did that come from? – bloke on the other side of the room, than anything else.Victoire clears her throat, pulling his attention, a curious expression on her face. “What?” he asks, irritably.“I didn’t say anything.”Teddy hoists baby Cici up into the air. “Mummy needs to mind her business and not pretend like she still knows Uncle Ted. Don’t you think?”Victoire laughs warmly at his side. “There’s some looks that you don’t forget, Ted.”Teddy opens his mouth to respond but James’s arrival shuts him right up. “Lamenting what could have been?” he asks playfully.Victoire lets out a snort loudly enough that Teddy is sure he should be offended. “Have you seen my husband over there?”“Mmm, not my type,” he says, extending his hand and allowing Cici to fist his pointer finger. “My poor, sweet, CiCi. Who left you with boring ole’ Ted?”“Oi!” Teddy exclaims. “We’re bonding. I’m her new favourite. Watch.” Teddy scrunches his nose until he feels the familiar tingling of transformation, the little blonde cackles as she swats at his newly acquired beak.“Mere parlor tricks, dear Ted,” James says with a head shake. “The child is part Veela, part Weasley, and part French, she knows a quality person when she’s with one. Wanna come to Jem?” He reaches his arms towards the baby who goes without hesitation. Teddy wants to feel put out but when James gifts him with a cheeky smile and a wink, it doesn’t feel like defeat. He bites the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling like a loon. Just mates, he thinks, repeating the daily mantra of his new life.“So weird,” Victoire interjects as she stands, and Teddy says a quick prayer that James will think she’s referring to her daughter’s choice in companions and not any unsavory thoughts that he is having towards his mate. “I’m going to go get a drink. You two need anything?”They both shake their heads and watch as she makes her way across the room to her husband. A comfortable silence descends for a few moments while they both watch the baby and smile softly; a kind of contentedness settling over them that can only come from being in the presence of an innocent baby..“So,” James starts, leaning in conspiratorially, “I have some news.”“Yeah?” James nods his head, eagerly. Teddy is not sure why he didn’t notice it the moment that James meandered up but the younger man is bursting with excited energy. He’s suddenly very eager to find out what this news is all about. “You can’t leave me hanging like that. Get rid of that baby and let’s go to the garden.”James lets out a gasp that is full of mock outrage. “And you wonder why she prefers me?”“Ooh, she knows, I don’t mean anything by it.” Teddy says, leaning in and placing a kiss on the top of her head, and stealing a glance at James through her curls. When their eyes meet, James flashes him a warm, private smile. Damnit. Just mates. Two hours later and Teddy sits chatting idly with Freddie about the latter’s latest conquest – a forty-two year old divorcee that he’d met down at the shop a few days prior.“I’m telling you, mate. Forty year old women are in their prime. Don’t waste your time with these twenty-somethings.”Teddy scoffs and shakes his head, letting his eyes scan the room lazily. He’s sure that it is purely coincidental that they fall immediately upon James, who has been held prisoner, discussing quidditch prospects with Uncle Ron for the last forty five minutes. When James notices him looking, he steals a glance to make sure that Ron isn’t looking and mouths a quick “help me,” in Teddy’s direction. Fred must be watching too because he snorts from Teddy’s side. “Looks like I better be a good cousin,” Freddie says, standing and clinking his glass against Teddy’s.“Hey! Uncle Ron. I didn’t get the chance to tell you what happened with that bird from the shop the other day.”James sighs in relief, standing and cocking his head towards the door, a silent invitation for Teddy to join him, as he walks out into the garden. Teddy takes a last swig of his drink before dropping the empty bottle on the table and making his own exit, quick on his friend’s heels.“So?” He starts, as soon as the door closes behind him.He watches intently as James steadies his breath before speaking. “The National team – Fredricks blew his ankle.”“Fredricks? Oh shit. Wait. …that means?” James nods his head furiously, his excitement threatening to explode out of him. “The National TEAM?! Shut the fuck up!“ Teddy shouts, pulling James into a tight hug before pushing him back and holding him at arm’s length, shaking hard by the shoulders. “JAMIE!”“Shhhh,” he says on a laugh. “I don’t want anyone to know quite yet.”“Okay, okay,” Teddy says, stepping back and scrubbing his hands over his face. The pride and excitement overtaking his chest is a shock to his system. Part of him really wants to cry but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t have a right to the tears, so he pulls himself together. “Why though? This is so exciting.”James looks to the side, his shoulders pulling up into quick shrug. “I don’t know. I just want it to be mine for a bit. Well, and yours, I guess.”Teddy swallows hard ignoring the rapid beating of his heart. Before coming home, he had never dared to hope for a friendship with James again, let alone being the man’s most trusted confidant. This realisation is in no way helping with his battle against the threat of tears. He shakes his head rapidly. “OK, but we have to celebrate tonight.”“Absolutely,” James says, bouncing on his heels excitedly, while pulling at his bottom lip with his top teeth, the gesture grabbing Teddy’s attention in a way that is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.It’s well into the night and the two friends are properly pissed. Teddy had suggested heading to the pub but James had wanted a low key night at home, so they’d ended up at Teddy’s house with a crate of beers and a pile of board games. A quiet few drinks and a film had quickly morphed into turning board games into drinking games just for sport. The two men cackle as they fall over themselves, furiously debating their made up rules for muggle Monopoly.“This isn’t working. Do you have anything else?” James asks, leaping to his feet, demonstrating a grace that Teddy does not even possess while sober.Teddy dips his head towards the hall. “In the cupboard,” he mumbles. The room is spinning pleasantly but he’s still considering grabbing a sober up potion when James’s voice sounds.“Hey Teddy?”“Yeah,” he answers, getting to his feet and following the sound of James’s voice to where he stands, the door to the hall closet propped open.“Feeling a bit indecisive?” he asks, motioning to the thirty cans of paint that Teddy knows are sitting just inside the cupboard.Teddy feels the back of his neck heat up, actively fighting the urge to lie. On some level he knows that James would never make fun of him, but it has been a long time since he’s had someone to share himself with. “Ah, um…it’s for Gran’s room,” he replies honestly. “It’s ridiculous but I haven’t been able to do it yet. Six years later and I still feel like if I do paint it, it should be a colour she’d like or something…I don’t know, it’s stupid.”“It’s not stupid,” James says, his voice somehow commanding, even in a whisper. “It is your room now though. I’m not sure how much overlap in taste you’ll have with an old woman, Teds.” Teddy lets out a laugh in spite of the heaviness in his chest. “Would it help if I was here? If we did it together?”Their eyes meet and Teddy is struck with the sudden realization that he could do anything, make it through anything, with James by his side. “Okay. Let’s do it.”James’s face splits into a wide grin, jumping once in place before grabbing two cans of paint. “Great! Grab those cans there.”“Wait, which colour should we use?” he asks.“All of them!” James shouts, throwing a mischievous smile over his shoulder before running up the steps.By the time Teddy makes his way to the master bedroom, James has already moved the furniture to the center of the room and thrown a tarp protectively over the pile. He’s standing menacingly over an open container of paint, swirling his wand above it, a stream of bright blue trailing from the end.“You ready?” he asks, motioning for Teddy to take the wand from his hands. Teddy smiles nervously, reaching out, their hands brushing lightly on the wand, causing goose flesh to prickle along his arm. Just mates, he reminds himself before taking the wand and flinging the first blast of paint at the wall.The moment that the paint hits the wall, Teddy feels lighter, as if he’d been holding his breath for the last six years. The bright blue streak is a startling contrast to the pale peach wall, but it doesn’t feel like an affront; it feels perfect. He’s not covering up the memory of his grandmother, he’s building on it, on everything she gave to him, everything she made him. Teddy. He’s what’s left of her and there is beauty in that, just as there’s beauty in an ugly peach wall streaked with too-bright accent colours.His eyes burn, he wants to cry, wants to pull James into his arms and tell him how much this moment, how much James means to him. Before he has the chance to dissolve into tears, though, James is at his side, asking , ‘Another?’ and placing the can of orange paint at his feet. Because he knows that that is not what Teddy needs right now, he doesn’t need to wallow in the loss and feel as though someone loving him or showing him kindness was some sort of favor to him. Teddy needs this – youthful joy and unrelenting friendship – not dwelling on the shit hand he’d been dealt, but focusing on the happiness of his present and the possibility in his future. Teddy needs James. So without any hesitation, he swirls his wand above the ugliest shade of orange he’s ever laid eyes on, and continues with the task at hand.As if they aren’t inebriated enough, keeping with the theme of the night, they quickly turn the painting into a creative drinking game, marking targets on the wall and laughing as they fling paint wildly off the mark. When globs of paint are dripping off the wall in a way that Teddy is sure won’t dry for days, a drunken idea pops into his head. He loads his wand once more, this time with green and turns to his fellow artist.“Hey Jamie,” he says, pulling the younger man’s attention and then flicking the paint directly into his hair.“Oi!” James yells, truly affronted, attempting to wipe his head with his hands but only smearing his hair green. “Be careful! This is my favourite shirt.”Teddy’s mouth drops open, an indignant gasp flying out of his mouth. “That’s my shirt, you shit.”“Is it though? I nicked it months ago and you didn’t even notice. And I mean, you’d think if it really was yours you’d be even more concerned with keeping it preserved,” he says cheekily, before peeling the shirt over his head, revealing a set of abs that scream ‘professional athlete.’Teddy is momentarily distracted, or at least he thinks it’s momentary, there’s no way to be sure through his alcohol-addled mind. When James raises his eyebrows questioningly, he is pulled from his trance, smirking before continuing his assault with three rapid flicks of his wand.“Oh Lupin, you just started something you won’t know how to finish,” James says menacingly and Teddy lets out a rather unattractive squeal as he runs away.The duo has been deep in battle for at least a half an hour when Teddy stops suddenly, glancing around the floor. James stops next to him. “You okay?”Teddy nods dumbly, sitting down in the middle of the mess. “Yeah, there might be more paint on the carpet than there is on the wall though. Maybe this was a bad idea?”“Bullshit. This looks glorious. You, on the other hand, look ridiculous.” James squats down and reaches his hands out, his thumb swiping pleasantly over Teddy’s cheek bone. Teddy is sure that it was just a futile attempt to remove a bit of the paint but between the alcohol and the emotionally charged nature of the night, he can’t help but push into the hand.“You’re as bad as Aunt Hermione’s old kneazle,” James laughs unnaturally, despite his attempt at levity.“Shut up.” Teddy sighs, the contented sound at odds with the harsh words. He can’t help but close his eyes because James has moved from his cheek to playing with the short tuft of hair that curls under his ear. He lets his head drop to James’s shoulder and smiles softly at the light chuckle that escapes his lips.“You’re falling asleep,” James whispers.“ Mmhmm…” Teddy mumbles, snuggling closer.“Come on,” he starts but when Teddy only whines, he continues. “I’m not going to be able to play Quidditch for a while if I sleep on this floor. Let’s go to bed.” He pats Teddy’s leg in a clearer request for him to move. It takes Teddy’s intoxicated mind longer than usual to get the message but he eventually groans and leans back. He watches as James wastes no time pulling out his wand and with a single flick, uncovers the bed.Teddy opens his mouth to say something but immediately forgets what it was when James unclasps his trousers and lets them fall to the ground. He desperately tries to understand why James Potter is standing in his bedroom in only his pants. And Gods, why is he so bloody fit? It isn’t until James is pulling back the covers and crawling into bed, obscuring his body from view, that Teddy remembers the problem with the situation.“Jamie, no!” he exclaims as he attempts to stand, wobbling ever so slightly but managing it. “We’re covered in paint.”“It’s dry,” James says, snuggling further into the covers.It isn’t and Teddy can see the evidence of this fact, as a smear of green has appeared across the pillow that certainly wasn’t there this morning. He wants so badly to feel irritated, as he would with any other drunken mate who was ruining his belongings. This is Jamie though so instead he stands in the middle of his bedroom, smiling like an idiot at his friend’s sleeping form.He has no idea how long he has been standing there when James opens his eyes slightly.“Get over here, you dork.”When Teddy shuffles over to the side of the bed, James reaches out lightning fast and grabs his wrist, hauling him down onto his side in a rather undignified tumble. Without a moment’s hesitation, James pulls Teddy to him, back against his chest, settling his arm around Teddy’s waist. Whether because his decision making skills are dulled or just because this all feels so bloody right, Teddy suddenly forgets why this is all such a bad idea and snuggles back against his friend, entwining their fingers on his chest. Sleep finds him easily.Teddy groans, shifting against a rather uncomfortable pillow, something sharp digging awkwardly into his shoulder. Everything hurts and he’s sure that his body should be protecting him from wakefulness right now. He has at least three more hours of sound sleep left in him. He shifts again, confused for only a moment as he remembers that his pillow is none other than his best mate and godbrother, James Sirius Potter. As the previous night comes back flooding back to him, he can’t help but blush. Will this morning be awkward? Should he act as if nothing happened? Did anything happen? Teddy is saved from any further speculation as the cause of his sudden consciousness becomes apparent.“TEDDY?” The voice is entirely too close and Teddy can’t help but gasp, unintentionally leaning all of his weight on James’s chest, earning him a pained groan, as the younger man startles awake. He needs to get off of this bed, to get away from the half-naked nineteen year old before –“Ted?” Albus says, throwing open his bedroom door with no regard for privacy. “Oh shit, sorry,” he splutters, turning around as if he has stumbled upon them doing a lot more than sleeping together.James sighs, sitting up fully. “Why are you here Albus?”Albus scoffs in response, turning around and crossing his arms over his chest. “Thank you Albus for, not only, retrieving me for our monthly Hogsmeade brunch – which I’m twenty minutes late for, by the way, but also for making sure that our parents didn’t catch me in bed with our godbrother. You’re a great brother.”
“Shut up. You know it’s not like that,” James says as he hastily dresses, the weakness in his voice not helping their case at all. Although, the paint smear on his chest perfectly matching the mark on Teddy’s cheek may be the biggest culprit. “I’m gonna pop home and change and then I’ll meet you at the restaurant. See you tonight, Teds?”Teddy can only nod, his voice having suddenly fled, his embarrassment’s presence in the room palpable enough to be an actual being. Jamie nods back, a sheepishness in his movements that is completely out of character, before turning and leaving the room.
Teddy expects Albus to follow but the younger man stands firmly in place well after the floo sounds from the living room. “Is there something else?” he asks, cautiously.“Yeah.” Albus says shortly, turning to face Teddy head-on for the first time since his arrival. “Don’t be a wanker.”“I’m sorry? – ““This whole thing might have started as a childhood crush for him but whether he’s willing to admit it or not, he’s catching proper feelings now.” Teddy swallows hard around the lump in his throat. The idea that James has feels for him is not one that Teddy has allowed to fully form in his brain. If James has feelings for him then that means that he’s not delusional, that this ‘thing’ between them is real and with it comes more questions than he’s ready to answer right now. He can’t say these things to Albus though. The Slytherin is looking at him with anything but sympathy. “If you’re just going to leave –““What?” Teddy asks, dumbfounded. Albus couldn’t actually think he would do that, could he? “No, I wouldn’t do that,” he starts and then thinks better of it. “I mean, we’re not…I mean, I don’t…” he finishes on a sigh.Albus looks entirely unimpressed. “Just get your shit together, Lupin.” And with those parting words, he stalks out of the bedroom leaving Teddy alone with a raging hangover and some very complicated feelings.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
There is nothing like a sixteen hour workday to make you question every life decision you’ve ever made, of this Teddy is certain. He leans back in his chair, kneading the taut muscles at the back of his neck as he listens to Hermione’s assistant, Corigan, read the newest draft of their proposal – the fifth (and hopefully last) of the night. This late night pow-wow wouldn’t even be necessary if it weren’t for two bigoted members of the Creature Division subtly slipping werewolves into a new measure they passed last week. Because of this, Hermione insisted – and Teddy fully agreed – that they needed to draft emergency legislation to protect werewolves’ status in the Being Division.It’s not that he minds working late for a good cause, quite the opposite actually. Having to put in extra hours always makes him feel useful, like he’s making the lives of everyone around him just a bit easier. It’s just that he wishes he wasn’t working late today, on a Tuesday. Tuesdays are the only night that he comes home to a home-cooked meal and a certain freckled-faced best mate with a beautiful smile. Not that he doesn’t still see James throughout the week; there’s Friday pub nights with Fred, Saturday afternoon hang-outs that usually lead to late Saturday nights, and then Sunday dinners at the Burrow. Tuesday nights are special though; they not only break up the week, but they just feel…cozy. It’s the way James greets him when he walks through the door as if there’s no one he’d rather see; it’s the discussions about their days which should be mundane but always leave them laughing hysterically; it’s how they always find themselves tucked comfortably, side-by-side on the couch watching whatever stupid Muggle film James has insisted upon. Tuesdays are his favourite simply because James is his favourite.It may have taken him a while to realise it, but he was now fully aware that these were not normal thoughts to have about a platonic best mate. Initially, he had a bit of a crisis, read a few books, went to a few pubs and now fully accepts he falls somewhere around bisexual on the spectrum. No, it’s not the bloke thing that has him freaking out now, it’s the Jamie thing. Teddy took Albus’s words from a few months back to heart and is determined to ‘get his shit together’ as quickly as possible. He’d already hurt James by leaving all those years ago and he refuses to cock up being his friend or ruin things with the only family he has left.“Great, and with thirteen minutes to spare. Nice work, Mr. Lupin,” Hermione announces, breaking into his thoughts and flashing him a smile. She turns to Corigan, a sandy-haired girl so desperate to please that she’s still acting as though it’s 4 pm instead of nearly midnight. “Go put that on record, Corigan, and we’ll see if those backwards bastards can find any loopholes big enough for their bigotry to fit.”A loud snort escapes the young girl but she quickly recovers. “Sorry. That was unprofessional.”Hermione waves her off with a laugh and Corigan scurries from the room. Once the girl is out of sight, Hermione stretches her arms above her head, letting out a loud groan that Teddy is sure she reserves solely for when she’s around family. The thought makes him smile.“Tell James I’m sorry that I kept you so long,” she says, standing and collecting her things.“Nah, he owled me a few hours ago saying he had to get home… early training session tomorrow,” he finishes, attempting to keep the disappointment out of his voice as he grabs his briefcase from the floor.“Right,” she says, staying rooted to the spot and eyeing his every movement. “Teddy, you know that everything with Harry will be okay, right?”Teddy freezes. She couldn’t mean what he thinks she means, could she? “Hmm?” he asks, neutrally.“Harry. I know he’s always been a bit, er – reactive, should we say?” She smiles fondly at the thought of her friend. “You’d be surprised though, since everything that happened with Albus, he’s learned to take some time before responding. He talks things out like a proper adult now, with Ron, me, Ginny obviously… I think he knows now that things – people, relationships – they change.”Teddy makes a noise that he hopes is somewhere in the realm of ‘respectful acknowledgment’ as he slips a folder into his briefcase. Could he talk about this with Hermione? She’d basically said as much, right? Unless he was completely misreading the situation, that is. Well, ‘in for a knut,’ he thinks. “We’re not,” he mumbles, avoiding eye contact. “James and me, I mean. If that’s what you were getting at.”“Oh,” Hermione starts, “of cour–“Teddy cuts her off, needing to get this out before he loses his nerve. “But if that were to happen,” he says, swallowing hard, “you act as though Ginny wouldn’t be the more terrifying parent in that situation.”Hermione surveys him silently for long enough that Teddy looks up to meet her eyes. She’s looking at him, not unkindly, but still as if she can see right down to his core. It make him fidget uncomfortably. “You’re not wrong,” she starts, finally, “but you forget that Ginny is far more observant than her husband, which means she notices all the ifs quite early and it gives her time to…process,” she finishes with a meaningful look.Teddy couldn’t even act as though her words hadn’t had a profound effect on him. He lets out a gust of air and scrubs his hands down his face. Ginny has processed all of the ifs, specifically how she would react if Teddy and James were a couple? Hermione thought they might be a couple already and the world didn’t end. He has a flash of him and James sitting hand-in-hand at the burrow, joking with Harry, eating Molly’s food, teasing Lily, and he’s not sure he’s ever wanted anything more in his life.“You okay?” Hermione asks, fondness apparent in her voice.Teddy can’t help but laugh at himself. “Yeah, it’s just been a long day and this is all still really weird. Half the time I feel like I just got back and the other half, I feel as though a big part of me never left, like I was never actually my whole self in America. I always thought it was Gran but…”Hermione’s arms are around him immediately, she hugs like all mums hug, with a fierce protectiveness that makes him want to simultaneously run and cry. He melts into her for a moment before she pulls back. “We’re all so happy you’re home. You’re tired and emotional right now though so you might want to head to bed before you cry all over your boss.”Teddy lets out a bark of laughter. “We’re all such an unprofessional bunch tonight.”“Yeah, seventeen hour days will do that to you,” she says, squeezing his arm one last time. “Now, go home, Lupin.”Teddy doesn’t make her ask twice. When Teddy stumbles through the floo, he briefly considers going straight to bed but a loud gurgle from his stomach alerts him that his body has other plans. He makes his way into the kitchen, deciding to grab one of those stale granola bars that he thinks are still in his pantry, but as soon as he enters the room he gets a whiff of something delicious. On the counter, under a stasis charm, sits his Tuesday night, home-cooked meal, a message scrawled hastily on a pad of paper to its right.Eat. XXHe picks up the note with shaky hands, tracing over both x’s while blinking back tears. He feels so cared for tonight and he’s not sure what he did to deserve it but he’s immensely thankful. He thinks back to his conversation with Hermione. If what she says is true, then that changes things, doesn’t it? Could there be a future for him where he gets to come home to James every night? He sighs and leaving the food on the counter, he hurries to find parchment and quill to scratch out a quick note.Jamie,So sorry about tonight. Bloody bigoted politicians ruining my Tuesday! Thanks for the food, I was famished. Do you have time to do lunch tomorrow?-TedsHe sends the letter off and sits to have his delicious dinner. It isn’t until much later, after he’s been asleep for hours, that he hears the familiar scratching of his owl at his bedroom window. He groggily opens the window and removes the letter from the owl’s extended leg, unrolling it hurriedly, with fumbling hands.Teds,100% I’ll be at the facility gym but I’ll put you on the visitor list. Looking forward to it.James XTeddy smiles into the darkness and bites the inside of his cheek, falling back against his pillows. Being inside the national Quidditch training center, embarrassingly makes Teddy a bit giddy. He obviously knows what James is up to day-to-day, but something about actually being there has the fact that James will be representing his country at the world cup fully setting in for the first time. He lets his eyes roam over the huge indoor pitch, where it looks like the seekers are running a drill, high above.
He spots James on the far side of the gym, slightly out of breath, clearly having just finished some sort of strenuous activity. He is wearing grey joggers, shoved hastily up his calves, and his green t-shirt is so tight that Teddy can count each individual abdominal muscle from across the room. Teddy’s mouth goes dry at the realization that he wants to completely devour him. He looks around quickly for the loo – he should splash some water on his face – but it’s too late because James is jogging over, a cheesy smile on his face.“Hey!” James shouts a bit too enthusiastically, pulling Teddy into a sweaty hug. He should be disgusted but the feeling of James’s sweat on his skin does nothing but increase his heart rate.Teddy forces himself backward. “Hey, yourself. I’m sorry, I thought you’d be done” he says, nodding his head towards the training area.“Oh yeah. I am. I was just finishing a half hour cool down,” he replies easily. A cool down. Teddy has a sneaking suspicion that James’s cool downs are more vigorous than Teddy’s actual workouts. He opens his mouth to say as much when they are interrupted by the arrival of a man who Teddy recognizes as Archie Wellington, six year captain of the England national team. This is so strange.“Who’s this now?” Archie asks excitedly, throwing an arm over James’s shoulder.For whatever reason, James hesitates for a beat before answering. “Archie. This is my mate, Teddy. Teddy this is my captain, and epic pain in my arse, Archie.”“Teddy?” He asks excitedly, waiting for Teddy’s nod before removing his arm from James’s shoulder and cupping his hands around his mouth. “Yo! Get over here everyone, it’s Teddy!”Teddy’s faces scrunches up in utter confusion and he looks immediately at James for reassurance, but James’s cheeks have tinged an adorable shade of pink and he is staring directly at his shoes.“The man, the myth, the legend - Teddy,” announces a tall, dark-skinned person with a laugh and a slap to Teddy’s back. Teddy instantly recognises him as England’s leading chaser, Clarke.'“Wow, I didn’t realize that my reputation preceded me, “ Teddy chuckles uncomfortably.“Most certainly,” says a shorter girl who’s name Teddy can’t remember. “Can’t go out tonight, hanging out with Teddy.”“I’m out. Teddy and I rented a muggle film,” another teammate shouts from the back.“It’s Friday pub night, guys.” Archie throws out with a laugh.“Oh shut the fuck up, you guys are full of shit,” James shouts playfully but clearly very embarrassed. “God.”Clarke looks directly at Teddy and mouths, “we’re not,” and in that moment Teddy is sure that his cheeks are stained an even darker shade than James’s.“Joking aside, though,” Archie starts, suddenly serious, “between you and me, we’re all hoping he’s a permanent addition. He’s a great guy and we’d love if he’d hang out with the team more. We’re all going out Thursday night, and you’d be more than welcome too – Slate’s wife always comes, so does Vanessa’s girlfriend so you wouldn’t be the only extra.”James looks mortified and goes to say something, to correct the implication that they’re something more. Teddy finds that he desperately doesn’t want him to. “I’d love that,” he says simply. When he meets James’s eyes, he’s rewarded with a warm smile that he returns easily. Teddy knows that he’s being ridiculous but he can’t seem to decide what to wear. He has been debating between a light blue button-down and his black bomber jacket over a grey t-shirt, for the last hour. Usually, he’d just grab whatever – he’s not known for being fussy –but he’s not sure what type of club the team is heading to and he doesn’t want to underdress. However, he also doesn’t want to wear something that screams, ‘lame, ministry worker.’ He is a lame ministry worker but that’s beside the point. If he’s being honest with himself, he just really wants James’s team to like him. Fortunately, the sound of the floo pulls Teddy from his fashion hell.“Teddy?”“In here,” he shouts back. “Just finishing getting ready.”The jacket and t-shirt, he decides, throwing them on and making his way down the hallway.“Did you eat?” James yells, over the distinct sound of the cupboards opening.“Yeah, there’s leftovers in the fridge, though, if you’re hungry.”“Yes!” James says victoriously, turning around with a takeaway container in hand and stopping short at the sight of Teddy. “You look…”“Shit. Bad? Should I just go with the button-down…” Teddy asks, pulling at his clothes self-consciously.“No! No. It’s good. Just, you know they already like you, right? They wouldn’t have invited you otherwise. You don’t have to do anything special.”Great, he thinks, he looks like he’s trying too hard. “I’m going to change,” he announces.“No!” James shouts, catching his arm. “I like it. I really like it. It wasn’t even the clothes – it was just your hair,” he reaches up and ruffles Teddy’s hair, “It’s orange. I just want to make sure that you’re okay.” The sincerity in his eyes makes Teddy want to kiss him so badly but he resists.“Oh,” he says, shifting his hair back to blue, “yeah, I’m brilliant, Jamie.” An hour later and Teddy is six shots deep with the national team beaters. He's determined to show them that lame ministry men can still hang. Although he doesn’t recall ‘hanging’ involving quite so much room-spinning. He’s nursing his beer and is sitting bobbing his head with the distant beat of the bass, trying greatly to hold onto the thread of conversation. For some reason, it keeps escaping him, the alcohol making him piss-poor company, and his eyes keep drifting to his right.James has been cornered by an overzealous female fan for fifteen minutes, but if his body language is any indication then Teddy has nothing to be jealous about. Even if he wanted to be jealous, James’s eyes finding his every few minutes and their near constant exchange of shy smiles wouldn’t allow it. He didn’t realize that his staring was so noticeable to others until a snap of fingers in front of his face gets his attention. “He's really great,” Clarke says, a smile playing on his lips.“Hmm?” Teddy replies belatedly. He may be a lot drunker than he originally thought.“James,” Clarke says, motioning to where Teddy’s eyes were just a moment before. “He's so easy going and clearly great with fans.”“S’had lots of practice.” Teddy says awkwardly, “’Potter.”Suddenly, a pair of strong hands are on Teddy’s back, startling him enough to cause some beer to splash out of his glass. “What are you saying about me?” James asks, squeezing Teddy’s shoulders.“Jamie!” Teddy announces, dropping his head back against his friend’s chest.James looks down at him, the smile quickly transforming from warm to amused. “Godric. Clarke, what did you do to him?”“I didn’t do it!” Clarke says, defensively. “Anderson said he wanted to do shots.”“Yep.” Teddy says, allowing his eyes to drift shut. “Fact. Anderson did want to do shots.”
James cups his chin with one hand and squeezes lightly. “Can you even see me right now?” He asks, amusement apparent in his voice.“Jaaammmie, I always see you,” Teddy whispers, bringing his hand up to caresses the side of James’s face, watching as the younger man bites his lower lip. Teddy suddenly has so much to tell him that he spins around rapidly to fully face his friend. “Jamie, do you know which is my favourite freckle?”James coughs and laughter erupts from the table behind Teddy but he doesn’t pay them any mind. “You have a favorite freckle?” James asks, quietly.“Yep! This one,” Teddy says, attempting and failing twice to put his finger on the freckle before finally landing on it. “It's cute and it disappears into your dimple when you smile.”Brave, confident, sexy James Potter looks suddenly so wrong-footed and Teddy can’t help but smile victoriously. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thinks this might be a bad idea. Should he be flirting with James? Fuck it. It seems like a really good idea right now.“Uh,” James says, suddenly finding his voice. “I think maybe it’s time to head home, what do you think?” Teddy nods and stands on wobbling legs, James’s hand at the small of his back to steady him.“Just mates, huh?” Clarke stage whispers behind James’s back.“Sod off.” James shouts, pushing at him lightly.Teddy ignores the squabble behind him and faces the table of quidditch players. “This was great and you guys are great,” he shouts. “Just keep playing good and, and being awesome.”Archie smiles at him warmly. “Good night, Teddy,” he replies as James starts leading them to the exit. “Oh and Jaaamie...” he continues and James freezes and screws his eyes shut a moment before turning. “Don’t forget that we have to sleep on campus tonight. So, you know, make it a quickie.” The entire table erupts into uproarious laughter as Teddy and James make their way through the maze of tables.“You guys suck!” James yells back before grabbing Teddy’s arm and apparating them away. As drunk as Teddy felt in the club, it’s nothing compared to how he feels stumbling through his living room, his arm draped over James’s shoulder, before James finally plops him onto the couch and squats to remove Teddy’s shoes. Before he can get to his task, Teddy grabs James’s hand and pulls it to his cheek. “Stay,” he whispers pathetically.James makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat. “I can’t,” he says, a defeated tone to his voice. “They want us to sleep on campus tonight, we have the team-building camp in the morning.”Teddy lets out a dramatic groan and turns his head, placing a kiss directly on his friend’s palm.“Stop.” James says urgently, “You’re gonna make me say sod the national team if you keep making pathetic sounds like that.”Teddy laughs warmly but doesn’t release his hand, content to stay in contact with this man forever. They stay like that, Teddy holding James’s hand against his face, James’s eyes searching for something in Teddy’s, James sucks in his bottom lip, lightly and allows the pad of his thumb to swipe across Teddy’s lips. It is only Teddy’s currently delayed reflexes that save him from sucking the finger into his mouth.“Tomorrow?” James asks tentatively. “I could stay tomorrow?”The question hangs heavily in the air, the implication of what tomorrow could mean for their friendship, settling over them. Teddy nods without thinking and is rewarded with a blinding smile from James before he leans down and kisses him softly. It’s so chaste, just a hard press of lips but Teddy is sure that it’s the best kiss he’s ever had.When James leans back there is a boyish smile on his face, and Teddy’s stomach flips at the sight. “Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”Teddy can only nod dumbly, knowing that he should be seconds away from a panic attack. He waits until the moment James disappears through the floo, before throwing head into pillow and screeching like a schoolgirl. He’s sure that he should be freaking out, that his mind should be focused on how much James could destroy him if this goes wrong, but with the calming effects of whiskey coursing through his veins, the man can only smile. The alcohol induced calm that had comforted Teddy all through the night did not stay with him into morning. Instead he wakes just shy of a total panic, jumping to his feet and pacing his bedroom floor as memories of the previous night come flooding back to him. The shameless flirting, the unnecessary touching, the embarrassing whining, GODRIC – the kissing! And what had he agreed to the previous night? James was staying over but was it for a date? Was this a sex date? Did he make a sex date with little Jamie Potter?Teddy falls back onto his bed and allows all the possible scenarios for the upcoming evening to settle into his brain, finding that they leave him either extremely anxious or impossibly horny. He knows that there’s no way that he can sit through a day of work like this, so he sends an owl off with his apologies and attempts to busy himself around the house.A few hours later and there’s no doubt that Teddy would have been better off at work. His attempts at normalcy have involved tidying around the house, pacing, showering, a piss-poor excuse for a workout, tidying the house again, and now baking. At least he’d have something to offer James when he came over for their date he thinks as he pulls the biscuits out of the oven and hits them with a cooling charm. A date – Godric, what is he doing? He’s going to fuck everything up.He sighs at himself, grabbing a biscuit from the tray and biting into it angrily. Expecting the creamy goodness of his Gran’s fudge biscuits, he can’t help but wretch and spit the food on the floor when he is hit, instead, with the overwhelming flavor of salt. He rinses out his mouth in the sink, resigned to the fact that tonight is going to be a complete disaster, when the floo sounds, pulling him from his self-deprecating spiral.Teddy hurries into the living room, even though he has no doubt as to who has just arrived. There James stands, wearing a pair of dark blue joggers and a fitted grey t-shirt and looking better than most men do in a three piece suit. Fuck, Teddy is completely in love.“Hey! You're home early,” James says surprised to see Teddy in his own home.“Hi! Yes. I am home early,” Teddy says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Or, I should say I never went in.”James smiles fondly and there’s a moment where Teddy thinks he’s going to come over to hug him or kiss him hello. The urge to meet him halfway is almost unbearable but Teddy scrubs his hands together roughly and looks away to avoid either of those things happening. “Too hungover?” James asks, eyeing him curiously.“Something like that.” Teddy laughs uncomfortably. “So how was the team-building thing?”“Ha!” James shouts, throwing his bag on the couch. “Team building, my arse. This was just an excuse to get us running group suicides. I’m knackered.”Teddy nods, having no idea how to respond. It’s as if in gaining insight into his feelings for his best mate, he has lost all ability to make normal conversation. James just stares at him for a minute before saving Teddy from himself. “Well, do you mind if I jump in the shower and then I’ll make us some dinner? It’s not Tuesday but I know you hate to cook.” Teddy gives him another quick nod, trying desperately not to imagine what James looks like in the shower. “Ooookay,” James chuckles making his way to the bathroom and leaving Teddy in the living room, feeling like a complete moron. “The biscuits smell good though.” James shouts from the bathroom and Teddy groans, hurrying to the kitchen to make another batch.When James reemerges from the bathroom looking like a wet Greek god, Teddy is no closer to knowing how to handle the situation. He has never wanted anyone or anything as much as James before, but the prospect of this failing, of losing James altogether– he’s still not sure that he can go through that. Apparently fed up with Teddy’s silence, James comes to stand directly in front of him. “Listen if you changed your mind and don’t want me to stay…” James starts, giving Teddy an out that he’s not sure he wants.“No, that’s not-““…cause you’re acting really weird, Ted.” James gestures towards Teddy as if that’s all the evidence he needs, and he’s not wrong. “And it’s fine. We were drunk last night and if you are having regrets or I just got the wrong impression –“This is it; he just has to finish the thought, to list one of the many reasons why they can’t happen, why this is a bad idea. Easy as pie, one sentence and he just has to break his own heart. ‘Yes, you’re too young, too close a friend, too much of a Potter.’ He takes a deep breath, the tears already welling in his eyes, and opens his mouth -“I’ve never had sex with a guy,” he blurts out, unexpectedly.James freezes and appears as though he’s holding his breath. Teddy is embarrassed but keeps on rambling, almost curious himself, as he’s never put words to these specific fears.“I’ve never even kissed a guy before you. Shit, I didn’t even know I liked blokes before you, Jamie. It’s just…a lot.” Teddy meets James’s eyes which have taken on a dark-possessive quality that makes Teddy’s insides squirm.“But I mean, you’re also Harry’s kid. And we’re friends, practically family. And you’re so much younger than me, I just don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage.”James laughs unexpectedly. “I’m an adult, Teddy, and we’re not family. Not really…it had been six years since we’d even spoken. Quit trying to make excuses. I. Like. You,” he says, moving very purposefully into Teddy’s personal space, “A lot. And you like me,” James continues, reaching out to tuck a stray hair behind Teddy’s ear. “And I want you…a lot. It’s clear you’re nervous though and that’s completely okay. We don’t have to do anything.”Teddy cuts him off. “I’m not some blushing virgin.”James smirks knowingly. “Isn’t that literally what you just said?”Fuck this, Teddy has been having sex since before James started wanking. “Is that a challenge?” he asks, attempting to gain back some of the dignity that he lost a few moments ago.James shakes his head, the smile never leaving his lips. Teddy who is entirely unconvinced, continues, a cocky edge to his voice that is only partially posturing. “Potter. You just started something you can’t finish.”Something dark flashes across James’s eyes and he leans in, his breath ghosting across the skin at Teddy’s ear, when he whispers, “Oh, Teddy, I promise I can.” When the younger man leans back he quirks one side of his mouth up into a knowing smile“Fuck it.” Teddy shouts, pouncing and kissing James roughly enough that the force sends the duo banging into the wall. He’s always been a fast study. The next morning the two lay tangled together in the bed in what Teddy is sure looks like a disgusting display of post-coital bliss. He couldn’t stop smiling if you paid him, though, after having the best night of his life. He and James had spent the previous evening exploring each other’s bodies and talking about everything that they had been too afraid to discuss before. There’s so much new about their situation, the way they’re holding each other, the way Teddy’s body is smarting, how Teddy is happier than he’s ever been. There’s so much new but at the same time, it’s still just him and James, joking and laughing together as always.“You know what we should do this morning?” James asks, sleepily.Teddy tilts his head up and is rewarded with a kiss on the nose. “Hmm?”“Give those biscuits another try.” James says, laughing softly at Teddy’s expense.Their unexpected activities had led, not only to another ruined batch of biscuits, but an almost burnt down kitchen as well. Teddy rises up on his elbows about to begin an assault when the floo sounds pull his attention.“Hey Ted!” Albus’s familiar voice shouts down the hallway.“Are you kidding me?” Teddy whispers, angrily, attempting to stand hastily, but strong arms pull him back into bed.James smiles at him mischievously. “Just kiss me,” he says.“What?” Teddy laughs, attempting to remove his boyfriend’s arms. “You know he’s going to come barreling in here any second.”“Right. It’ll teach him a lesson,” James says, pulling Teddy’s face to him. Teddy resists a moment longer but eventually gives in.It’s only a second before the door is unceremoniously wretched open but they pay it no mind. “Bugger FUCK!” Albus shouts, always one for elegance.James pulls away lazily and falls back against the pillows. “Serves you right for barging in!”Albus gives an unimpressed scoff, turning to face them with arms crossed, the slight blush on his cheeks, the only thing giving away his embarrassment. “Suppose you’re going to try and tell me that you’re just mates again?“Nope,” James announces, proudly. “I am going to tell you that I can’t make it to Hogsmeade brunch though.”“And what, pray tell, should I tell mum and dad? That you were too busy buggering your boyfriend, who also happens to be their godson?” He asks, smugly and then gestures to the two of them. “Gross, by the way.”
There’s no malice behind his words so James pointedly ignores them and looks at Teddy, questioningly. When Teddy gives him a slight nod and a warm smile, James bites his lip and turns back to his brother.“Yeah. That sounds good,” he says.Albus’s mouth drops open and Teddy hastily adds, “Maybe not in those exact words, though. You can tell them we’re together but try to be slightly less vulgar.”Albus suddenly looks like a kid on Christmas. “Are you serious? I get to tell them?”When both Teddy and James nod, Albus whoops with excitement, “They’re all going to be so pissed that I knew first! Especially Lily!” he yells, racing out of the room.Once he’s sure the coast is clear, James turns to Teddy, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “I love you, you know?” he whispers.“I love you too,” Teddy says easily, pulling James to his chest.As he strokes his boyfriend’s hair, he lets his mind wander but not to the anxiety ridden places of the previous weeks. Instead, he thinks ahead – to a life lived amongst so many people he loves, to a fulfilling career that he’s passionate about, to marriage, to kids, and all of it with this beautiful man at his side. Life is unpredictable, so he doesn’t know how much of it will come to fruition, but there’s one thing he knows for sure.Teddy Lupin is finally home.