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“You know there is this resort in Bali, that’s near the beach, and it has this amazing…”“It’s not like I don’t appreciate your bragging about the places they pay you to go to, but your mark is getting away,” KEY answered calmly, while taking a sip of coffee.“Oh, shit.” Taemin said as he turned to see ‘The King’ getting into a Porsche Cayenne. “I don’t know what is worse about this guy, the stupid alias, or his taste in cars.” Taemin said as he got onto his Ducatti.“I would have thought the worst thing about this guy was the human traffic, 005, but have you seen his clothes?Although I must admit the aliases do get worse every time.” KEY said over the comm with an amused tone.Taemin let out a throaty chuckle. Kibum swallows the knot that formed in his throat.“Can’t I just kill him now?” Taemin says after a brief pause, “What is the point of a license to kill if I have to do all this following around.” His tone is whiny; sometimes KEY can’t believe this man is a trained assassin.“And that would be charming, but we need to find his associates,” He responded sardonically. “we need 'in’ to the whole network, as well as his clients, which you would know if you had bothered to read the mission brief.”“But I’ve got you on my ear for that. Don’t I?” Taemin responded sweetly.KEY sighed, he wanted to be annoyed, but he couldn’t help finding it endearing. “I don’t know how you even got to be a double-oh, between this and the amount of lost equipment.” He said smiling slightly, with a faux exasperated tone.Taemin laughed as he sped away behind the car. Most people didn’t get KEY’s sense of humor, but he’d worked with him long enough to know he was kidding.
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“I swear next time I’m going to glue the damned thing to your ear.” KEY grumbled into his head piece, Taemin had somehow lost his earpiece.He didn’t even sound apologetic when he called from his cellphone to tell him he had lost it, “I swear I had it a moment ago.” The little shit.KEY let out an annoyed sigh, “Nevermind, you will have to complete this mission blind, I’ll monitor through the security cams. Just don’t lose your phone… or the Walther.”“I won’t.” Taemin was smiling, KEY could tell from the tone of his voice. “Thanks Hyung.”“Yeah, yeah kid, just make sure not to lose it next time, or I ‘will’ send you out with only a walkie-talkie and a water pistol.”———–005 starts flirting with one of the women attending the party, and KEY can see her blush even through the black and white feed of the security camera; and once again he can’t help but think of how unfairly attractive Taemin is.Suddenly the woman, goes past Taemin, and Taemin turns, and pauses for a second looking up at the security camera, and winks at it with a self-satisfied smirk, before going after her.KEY can feel himself blushing, before shaking his head. He can’t let himself get distracted, not right now, he thinks as he turns his attention to the monitor in front of him.After a while of monitoring the room, KEY’s thoughts deviate to Taemin, he is always surprised at how easily he can switch from awkward and cute, to suave and sexy whenever he needs to.He had met Taemin before he became an agent, back then he had thought he wouldn’t last long in the field, he seemed too innocent, too sweet. But appearances can be misleading. After all he was somewhat of a legend when he was a trainee.Just then, Taemin reappeared in a hall, followed by two thugs.Some more drawing closer attracted by the sounds of fighting as they engaged him.Taemin wasn’t bulky like most of the other agents, his figure was lean and graceful, and Kibum loved to see him in action, his movements were fluid like water, almost like he was dancing, instead of dissarming threats, Kibum thought as he saw Taemin drop guards one after another. Dismissing the fact that Taemin had probably lost his gun again.After he was done with the last of the guards, Taemin took out his phone.“Have you ever considered a career as a professional dancer?” KEY asked as he answered the call.“What?”“Cause you know if this whole espionage thing falls over, I think you could make it.”Taemin didn’t answer, looking a bit dumbfounded by the question.“I would find that Walther if I were you, cause I’m not giving you a new one.”
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“Are you alone right now?” Taemin asked.“Most of the staff is gone for the night.” Kibum responded in a bored tone. “Why?” He asked looking around at the almost asleep techs at the other end of the room.“What are you wearing?”Kibum did a double take, ‘did he just…?’“Wait, what did you do now?”“What do you mean?”“You are trying to distract me. What did you do now?”“I didn’t do anything!”“Okay, let me rephrase. What are you 'going’ to do.”“Why do you always assume I’m up to something?”“Because last time you did something like this while you were on a mission you went out on your own, managed to missplace the memory stick you were supposed to recover, and almost caused an international incident.”“But I didn’t lose the memory card, and as you just said, I *almost* caused an international incident. So there wasn’t a problem.”“You…” KEY couldn’t believe the nerve of this kid.“And, I found my earpiece.”“You will stay put until you recieve instrucctions on how to proceed.” He didn’t get paid enough for this. “Do you understand?”“Sure.”“Oh, for fuck’s sake, you are already out aren’t you?”Taemin chuckled. “Actually, I need your help, I need you to unlock a door for me.”KEY sighed “What door?”“The one to the underground cellar, it has a really weird padlock.”“I’m going to need you to be more especific than that.”“Well… it has this weird symbols instead of numbers or letters. Never seen them before.”“Just send me a picture would you?” KEY said. “I really don’t want to spend the night here listening to you trying to describe them.”The photograph popped up on the big screen in front of him, 'weird’ apparently was the right word to use, but aside from the strange symbols it looked pretty much like any other combination lock.“How much time do you reckon you have before they notice you are there?” He asked running a scan to determine the language of script it was on, it was still just a combination code, but it might take too long to try out all the combinations possible.“Half an hour tops.”“Give me fifteen minutes.” he said as the scan completed and he tried to figure out how much time it would actually take him to transfer the data to the decoder in Taemin’s phone, but with the processing power of that phone it would take too long. He would have to run the combinations on the main computer and test them remotely.“Do you still have the bug I gave you?”“I take offence to that, of course I still have it.”“I need you to hook it up to the padlock.”“Done”Now, he only had to hope that the receptor on the bug could sustain the data transffer. He really should work on a device especifically for this purpose, or maybe put it on the phones.The basis for the coding was pretty straight forward, it seemed that the symbols were almost aesthetic in purpose.The padlock opened.Well, that was faster than he thought.“Do check back in if you find anything.”“Thanks KEY, I will buy you a drink next time.”“Yeah, yeah, just try not to get yourself killed.”He should make sure all of the security cams were on a loop, if Taemin was to have any chance of gettimg out of there with no more than a few scratches.“And next time do let me know 'before’ you do it, I can buy you more time that way.”“Yes, mom.”“Never mind, you just go ahead and get killed.”Taemin laughed.
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The world is moving, things are changing, and the song remains the same.He couldn’t have pinpointed the moment their banter turned into flirting. When that turned into something more substantial. But Taemin started to hang around Q branch way more often when he wasn’t on mission.He couldn’t remember when Taemin started nagging at him to go home, or better yet, go home with him.In his mind it was as if everything before that was at a standstill, and then, it all happened at once. And he was in Taemin’s apartment, Taemin pushing him against a wall, melding their mouths together.Everything moved at a dizzying speed, while he stood still, like being trapped in the middle of a merry-go-round. But even through the haze Kibum couldn’t help but notice how empty Taemin’s apartment was as he got pushed inside, it had a sort of hotel room quality to it.It wasn’t a home. And as fast as it all sped up, it slowed down.Until he is lying on his back, on top of Taemin’s bed and Taemin is hovering on top of him, and slowly as if he is under a spell Kibum runs his fingers softly over a jagged white line on Taemin’s side, ‘knife wound’ he thinks, as he moves his hands over Taemin’s abs, running them up his chest, until he can link them behind his neck, and Kibum feels as if time has stopped around them.He doesn’t remember the mission Taemin got that scar from.Taemin is watching him with a small smile on his face, before he leans down to brush his lips against Kibum’s, his arms supporting his weight, caging him in from both sides.Kibum moaned low in his throat as Taemin rolled his hips down against his, nosing his neck and lightly biting his pulse point, before laving it with his tongue.Kibum shouldn’t get attached.He clung to Taemin, he could feel more scars lining Taemin’s back, running his fingers over a few of them, feeling the movement of lean muscle under the skin.He dug his fingers in when Taemin rolled his hips down again.There were so many ways Taemin could’ve died.Could die.He tangled his hand in Taemin’s hair, pulling him down into a kiss.He didn’t know what this was, what he meant to Taemin.He groaned as Taemin slid a finger into him, then two, slowly streching him.Because it was stupid really, this whole thing.“You look so good like this.” Taemin breathed into his ear. “On your back, begging for me.”And Kibum wouldn’t admit to the whine that left his throat at Taemin’s tone. “Just get on with it.”Taemin let out a small snigger, “Ok.”There is no way this could end up right.But it felt so good to be this close.KEY shouldn’t get attached, because Taemin will most definitely sleep with other people because of the job.Taemin kept the pace slow, mouthing the crook of his neck, and Kibum was sure he would find marks littered all over his body in the morning.He will constantly put his life at risk.Taemin moaned as he wrapped his legs around his waist and rolled his hips, dragging him a bit closer, a bit deeper. Taemin will die in action, and he will be there to witness it.But Kibum will take it, this, and whatever Taemin gives him, because Taemin doesn’t need this from him. But for whatever reason, Taemin wants him.
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He’d learnt early on in his career as a criminal, that a name, was precious information, an alias made you powerful, it made people fear it, made you seem less human, it was the last line of defense.He went to London, because he knew that in a big city it was easier to get lost, as opposed to the little town he was born in, where everyone knew everybody.He learnt the hard way about the best places to camp out, he learnt to pick pockets.He learnt to defend himself.He discovered that he had an ability to decrypt and hack, he got himself a phone, then a computer, with that, he learnt that a lot of people paid well for information they weren’t meant to have.They weren’t good people.He got himself enough money to get a flat. Forging documents, and getting people to lend their face to him was easy enough.He learnt how to obtain information in other ways as well, for the first time in his life being an invisible child paid off.He learnt when to run, and that when you do, you leave everything behind and start anew.He learnt attachement was a liability.Soon enough he had earned himself quite a reputation in the underworld, he was capable of obtaining any kind of information from any network, no matter how secure.The Almighty Key.But with recognition, bigger threats arise.He had amased a small fortune by the time he fell into the MI6 radar.
It took them about a year to catch him, but in the end there is just so far you can run when you are fourteen and the ones after you have eyes everywhere.
He thought that would be the end, but once they got a hold of him, he had been given a choice, prision or employment.
The decision had been simple.At that time he had been young and foolish, he believed he had the world wrapped around his little finger.
He thought he had gotten rid of everything that connected him to that name, and yet they knew it, his real name. For the first time in the three years since he got enough power to cover his back, he had been afraid.He was too stupid to see their intent.When he first got into MI6 he was one more out of a bunch of trainees, most of them better suited for field work, or technological development than he was.He felt helpless.So he leant on his capacity to do both.
He learnt about engineering.
He made himself something unique.Half of the kids that came in at the same time he did, became cannon foder, didn’t last more than ten missions, the other half were either lucky or were selected to work in Q branch, some of them broke under the pressure, in the end only a handful remained.
Kibum knew he was always meant to become the former, whatever the organization had wanted from him, they had gotten in the first few weeks they took him in.
So he made sure he was not someone they could just dismiss.
But he had never been good with authority.
If he had survived, it was sheer dumb luck, you couldn’t accuse them of not trying to get rid of him.In the end it all paid off.The first thing he did when he was promoted to head of Q branch, was destroy all the files that connected him to that name.————-Attachment is a liability, the last fifteen years of his life have been lived with this as the most important statement, the one truth.But shit happens, and as much as he wants to deny it, he is only human.“…KEY?”“Kim Kibum.”He didn’t even think about it, it just slipped out of his mouth, unpromted.“What?”“My name,” He didn’t know why he was telling him, but all of a sudden it made him feel uncomfortable that Taemin kept calling him KEY. “is Kim Kibum.”Taemin had been pestering him for the best part of an hour, they were in KEY’s office, he was trying to perfect a schematic for a miniature exploding device, and Taemin had just returned from a mission, which apparently meant for him to invade Kibum’s space until he got annoyed enough to leave whatever he is doing and direct his attention at Taemin.Taemin had been talking, about what, he couldn’t remember, he had drifted off in the middle of it, Taemin sometimes babbled when he got bored, which was odd, because he wasn’t usually too talkative, he often drifted off himself as well, not paying attention to KEY, even in the middle of missions.Taemin had gotten really quiet, and Kibum didn’t want to look up, his own confession making him feel uncomfortable.“Wha… why…”But at this point he had to roll with it, pretend it meant nothing.“It’s awkward if you call me that all the time.” Kibum may not be a field agent anymore, but he could still manage a decent enough poker face, quelling the panic he felt inside, as he turned to look at him. “Since you aren’t talking about work.”“Yeah, alright.” Taemin sounded dazed, in any other situation Kibum would have mocked him for that. But as it were he had accidentally given up meaningful information, and was just happy that Taemin hadn’t caught up to what it meant.“Kibum.” Taemin said softly under his breath, as if testing it out. “I like it.”Taemin had a dorky spaced out smile on his face, it made Kibum hope, that maybe he meant something to Taemin. But he pushed it to the back of his mind.“If you don’t have anything useful to tell me,” KEY said after the silence went on for a little too long. “I would appreciate it if you could let me go back to work, not everyone around here gets as much down time as you do.” He couldn’t help the smile that made it to his lips, seeing as Taemin was still a bit dazed.“Are you trying to say that nothing I was saying just now, was useful?”“I don’t know, I drifted off when you started talking about being tied over the shark tank, the… what was it you called him…? Nevermind. The point is that you got the ambassador’s son back in one piece.”“For the most part.” Taemin said with a grimace, “He ‘was’ missing an ear.”Falling back into the usual banter, ignoring the moment before. It was much easier, than trying to deal with what it meant.“It wasn’t an essential part, at least it wasn’t a finger, or a hand.” KEY played along, and Taemin smiled.“Fine, I’ll just sit here,” He said and dropped onto the couch KEY sometimes (more often than not.) crashed on when he was too knackered to bother going home. “and wait until you’re done so you can buy me dinner.”“If that will keep you quiet.” KEY said, turning back to his work.“No promises.”——————-He knew he had gotten way too involved with Taemin, when he told him his name.
In reality, there was nothing to that name, all records that Kim Kibum had ever existed had been destroyed, he had made sure of that, and he doubted anyone even remembered him by now, by any other name than KEY.
But for him, it was something that tied him to his past, to a more human part of him, to whatever little piece of normality he had experienced.Kim Kibum was a person with nothing to hide, he had become a ghost that shared KEY’s face.
But somehow, Taemin managed to dig up whatever was left of him.
A few other people knew his name, he could count them with one hand and have fingers to spare, but somehow it wasn’t the same.Because Taemin meant more to him, and he had been foolish enough to let it get this far, to let Taemin this close.He would be lying if he said he regretted it, but fortunately KEY was a great liar. Maybe even good enough to fool himself.
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“I love a good witness. They make for a great target practice.” Taemin said as he shot down one of the guards who managed to escape before he could get reinforcements.“You know, you can be really creepy sometimes.”“Says the guy who hacks cellphone cameras on a daily basis.”“We are not talking about me you sociopath.”“So you won’t even try and deny it?”“The creepy part or the hacking cellphones on a daily basis?” KEY asks. “Because most of the time I have to do that, is because you keep losing your comms and running off by yourself. I swear no other double-oh agent loses this much stuff.”——-Kibum didn’t mean to pry, he just forgot to turn off the comms, but Taemin and the girl that was being held hostage started talking, and he was curious.It was odd to hear Taemin talking to someone who he didn’t need to get anything from.
It reminded Kibum of the fact that Taemin had a real life at one point, a normal one, with a family.
That he hadn’t always been a part of this clustterfuck of lies and death.
That he was so different from himself. That there was still a regular human being underneath all the masks this job required. Taemin still had a chance for a life outside MI6.She was beautiful. Not just in appearance, but in the kind of way that you couldn’t see outright, and clever, she had managed to keep herself in one piece all throughout her captivity. Which was impresive in and of itself, KEY had seen too many captives who thought they knew what they were doing, long story short, it wasn’t pretty.He wished that Taemin could speak to him the way he was speaking to her.
But Taemin always wanted something. The way he spoke to him, it was always a way of coersing what he wanted from him, help, sex…
Kibum would like to pretend there was something more to it, but in reality it was just a good working relationship.What bothered him the most right now though was the fact that he could picture it very clearly, Taemin walking out of espionage for this girl, or if not her, someone like her. Settling down in some exotic location, maybe even have a kid or two.It was funny, because whenever he dared think about a future where he and Taemin left together, it was never this clean cut picture of happiness, it was always shrouded in the mist and darkness, that characterized Kibum’s entire life.
And it made him pause, because certainly, Taemin could get someone better looking, someone stronger, smarter, or with more connections.
Someone outside of this life. Someone whose past wasn’t a secure way to trouble.At best he was good company, a comodity.
It was easier for Kibum to let himself go, not to think about how long their little tryst would last, what it meant.And those two fit together so well.Taemin would never be happy if he were to keep working here, this job slowly drains you of everything, until you have nothing but the job, KEY knows this very well, he’s seen it happen countless times. He doesn’t want to see it happen to Taemin.Because before he realized it, and against his best wishes, he had come to care for Taemin. Even though he was the kind of person, a younger version of KEY would have hated.
Taemin had somehow wormed his way into a heart that he thought was none existant, or lost somewhere along the way right next to his human decency.Taemin should have a life outside MI6, Kibum would make sure he did.
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He shouldn’t have accepted this time around, he had promised himself that he would distance himself from Taemin, but here he was again in Taemin’s flat, in his bed.It was so easy to let himself go when Taemin’s hands clung to his back and he pulled him close, when he seemed so lost in the moment; Kibum got lost with him. Taemin had the skill to pull him into situations he couldn’t handle, and Kibum was incapable, or perhaps, unwilling to resist to it.He really wished that the quiet of the night would allow him to stop thinking as easily as sex could.
But as their breaths slowed down, his mind started running without his consent.“You alright?” Kibum asked in a hushed voice. Taemin had been unusually quiet since he had returned from his latest mission in Austria.“Why do you ask?” Taemin also seemed to be running around in circles in his mind. Maybe that’s the why they get along so well.“You seem… odd…” Kibum didn’t know how else to phrase it. “Too eager lately, it’s not like you.”“It’s nothing.” Taemin answered with a dry tone.“Right.” Kibum had let himself get away with a misplaced sense of domesticity. “I should get going.” He said getting up from the bed. Seemed like he wouldn’t have to make much of an effort to push Taemin away.“Hey,” Taemin said sitting up. “I- I’m sorry.”“What for?” Kibum answered flatly without turning to look at Taemin, while putting his shirt on, it was in dire need of an iron but Kibum couldn’t really bring himself to care about it, not right now at least. He hated it, and maybe he was overreacting, but he couldn’t really deny the fact that it hurt. He wanted to be able to comfort Taemin, even though he knows that it isn’t his place to do so.“You going back to work?” Taemin asked.“Yes. Lots to get done before next week.” He said buttoning up his trousers, he would have liked to get a shower but maybe he could swing by his flat, shower and get some clean clothes, he would probably make it back to the office before three in the morning.“Trains won’t be running at this hour. You should stay.” It made Kibum uncomfortable how Taemin switched moods so suddenly.
Why would he care where he was going, what he was going to do.“I’ll take a cab,” He answered absently looking for his coat, he must have left it in the living room. “Rest well.” with that he left the bedroom, completely ignoring the offer to stay.
His coat was on the floor near the entry way, he shrugged it on before pulling the door open and letting himself out.He could never really get used to the unlived feel of Taemin’s apartment.If someone had told him five years ago that he would be swooning over someone like this he would have laughed in their face.In all honesty ten years ago he would have laughed at the prospect of him finding people he considered friends.A lot of things have changed, not all for the better.He walked down the street to a more transitated area. There were footsteps behind him, so he made a turn, the footsteps disappeared; probably just someone walking home.
He turned again and into the main road where there were a few more cars zooming about. It took him fifteen minutes to find a cab.
He gave the driver an address three blocks away from his flat and leant back into the seat, looking at the drivers permit on the back of the seat, and memorizing the number. Maybe he should take a nap once he got home; wait until the trains were running again.
He would get to headquarters before six, just in time to call 002 to catch up on his progress.He walked to his flat, it was on a very quiet part of London, he could only hear the echo of his own steps and the odd car zooming away in the distace, even the street lights were scarce, and he knew that as a spy quiet places weren’t his friends, but he could never really stand the rush of life in central London.He opened the door, he hadn’t been to his apartment in three days, he always kept a spare set of clothes in his office, having gotten into the habit of spending more than a day at work at a time a long time ago.He didn’t realize how tired he was until he went through his treshold.He dropped his bag by the door, and hanged his coat on the coat rack, grabbing a tablet from the hall table to check that there weren’t any irregularities in the time he had been gone, while he went into the bathroom to draw himself a bath; to hell with the shower, he deserved it.Everything seemed to be in order. He should really take a half-day off to clean up the place though, a small layer of dust was beggining to pile on top of most of the surfaces.
The fridge didn’t have much inside just a few jars of different jams, and a couple bottles of beer. Grocery shopping would need to wait till work slowed down a little bit, he sighed closing the fridge door and going into his room to change into his bath robe.He sighed as he lowered himself into the warm water, all the tension leaving his muscles. And once again he wished he could stop thinking for just a little bit, but the silence in the apartment wasn’t really helping.
It was so easy to fall into the delusion that what Taemin and he had was something;what had happened earlier a clear proof of that.
It was so easy to let himself go, when what he never let himself wish for was within arms reach, or at least it seemed like it was.Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to have a make pretend sort of relationship going.
Maybe Taemin is the best thing that has happened to him recently, probably the best thing that has ever happened to him, flawed logic and all.He tries to sleep, he really does, but every time he closes his eyes the thought of the work he is leaving for later screams from the back of his mind, (maybe if he planned an excercise routine for himself he would be able to fall asleep.) He gets up after twenty minutes of tossing and turning without being able to find a good position. Giving up, he gets dressed and calls for another cab, the tube won’t be running for an hour or so yet.The quiet of the night lets him relax a little bit, the soft hum of the cab’s engine loud enough to keep him focused on reality as he watches the sleeping city go by.He enjoys the chill of the early morning as he walks through the doors of the Headquarters, it keeps him grounded, and awake.He has a place he belongs to now, and that should be enough.———KEY feels more than hears someone enter the room from the door behind him.Lee Taemin, a small dialogue box pops up on his screen.
He should make the notifications a little less conspicuos, less his subordinates start thinking he doesn’t have eyes on the back of his neck.Taemin wraps his arms around his shoulders from behind.“Not now Taemin I’m busy.”“How did you know it was me?”“I always know.”Taemin loosens his hold stepping back, though his fingers linger on the edge of the neck of his shirt where Kibum knows there is a mark from the night before.
He would mistake it for possesiveness if he didn’t know any better.“I want a mission.”“You are on leave, go have fun.” KEY says without taking his eyes from the piece of coding he is working on.“It doesn’t have to be big, just get me something.” He answered moving his hand away, Kibum didn’t have to look to know he was running it through his hair.“We have lower ranked agents for those.” He said not really in the mood to argue with Taemin at the moment. “But if something comes up, you are first on the list.”Taemin just dropped himself onto the couch in his office and for once stayed silent.
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It was supposed to be a routine mission, nothing complicated.Get in. Get the data. Get out. All of that making as little contact as possible.But KEY had been wrong, what was supposed to be a secondary base for the bastard who was trading enough weapons to destroy half the country in a day or two, turned out to be his main headquarters.There weren’t supossed to be so many guards. This many defenses.“Where do I go from here?” Taemin whispered through the comms.Taemin may deny it but his stupid eagerness to take on missions lately had been taking it’s toll on him.“Stay where you are until I say so, there are at least a dozen guards in between you and the target.” But of course Taemin had insisted on taking on the task anyway. KEY knew from experience that he wouldn’t be able to convince Taemin of the opposite even if he tried. So the best he could do for now was guide him through it, make sure he took the least amount of risks possible. After all it wasn’t the first time their intel had been wrong.He should have tried harder to dissuade him.“Once you are in the hall, go left, then take a right on the first intersection, there should be a door leading into a stair well a few meters ahead. You have about twenty seconds to reach it on my cue, before the next set of guards reaches you.”“Understood.”Their usual banter was gone.
This was too risky, it sent chills down his spine whenever Taemin obeyed his orders this promptly, the bad kind.“Go now.”Taemin appeared in one of the security cameras, he moved swiftly and quietly like a shadow, in a way Kibum would have enjoyed watching in a different circumstance.
He got to the door opening it and slipping inside the stair well barely making a noise.“Up or down?”“Down, bottom level.”He could hear Taemin’s steps echo and his breath as he rapidly made his way down the stairs.KEY hated the lack of control he had over this situation.“Once you get there, there are no cameras on that level, but I know there are guards, the main console is four doors down the hall to your right. Just place the bug and get out.”“Ok.”He hated not being able to see or help Taemin further.The sound feed from Taemin’s comm was all he had now.he could hear Taemin’s heavy breaths as he ran through the hall, and the sound of a door closing.“It’s done.”“Understood, get out of there.”He heard the sound of the door breaking down, and of guns being shot.He hated the fact that he could recognize the sound that left the mouth of a person who has just been hit by a bullet.But the gun fire ceased.“How bad is it?” He was surprised he sounded so calm.“Went through my left arm, not too bad.”“Think you can make it out on your own?” He called for the extraction team, not waiting for an answer.“There is no one else coming, so probably yes.”“Don’t take any risks, the extraction team will be there by the time you get out.”“I’m sorry KEY.”“Just get out of there.” He should have known something was off when Taemin apologized.A soft chime notified him that the data transfer was complete.Then it all went to hell.The explosions happened so fast that it took KEY a moment to realize what had happened.
It wasn’t the first time KEY had lost an agent in the field.
Taemin’s comm went silent, his tracker disappeared from the screen.And the world stopped still.His blood ran cold.
It wasn’t the first time he lost someone.
“Double-oh five?” He heard himself ask, it was odd hearing his own voice, as if it was disconnected from his mind.
It wasn’t the first time he lost an agent in the field.
So why…?The entire compound had blown up, abandoned by whoever was behind the operation, leaving several dozens of their people to die.The next few weeks seemed to fly by, he was in a trance like state, shock probably.He notices less things; every time, it looks like something changed overnight.The search under the rubble was called off a week and a half after the event, MI6 just barely involved in it, to recover whatever evidence they could from the site.Taemin’s body was never found.He was then declared as missing in action.
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Most days pass the same way.Wake up, have a shower, drink a cup of coffee while he reads whatever amount of e-mails he has received in the last four hours he has spent sleeping badly.
Then he goes off to work, where he spends the entire day, maybe two or three depending on the workload, just to go back home by the end of it, and restart the process.He used to enjoy picking out his clothing for the day; whenever he didn’t spend entire days at work that is. But as he rifles through the variety of shirts hanged in his closet, all of them seem to have become indistinct. He runs his hand mindlessly through the fabric before taking out a simple striped shirt and shrugging it on.He wouldn’t have noticed had he not been returning home more often in the last few months. As it is, he ignores it, and moves to take the suit jacket before deciding to leave it; the weather is too warm for it.
He picks up his over coat on his way out, and steps out the door.He counts the number of steps he takes to the train station to distract himself, but he loses focus halfway there when he realizes he doesn’t remember which route he took the day before. He hates taking the same route to work too often.
However he keeps in mind not to get out in the same station more than twice in a row, crowded places are always good to blend in and get lost, but there are eyes everywhere and keeping a routine is a sure way to be noticed; he has also used some of the service corridors just for fun in the last two months. But this time he chooses to go through the crowd, mixing in with all the other commuters.There is a cup of coffee on his desk by the time he gets to his office, it’s still hot; probably R’s doing.Something must be up.He just hopes it’s not one of the rookies accidentally blowing something up in one of the good labs again, he remembers telling everyone not to leave them unattended.
Whatever it is however, can wait till he gets done checking in on the agents on the field, thankfully the workload had lessened a fair bit in the last weeks and there was no risky enough missions going for him to keep a close eye on the agents deployed.Half the morning passes by without incident before R peeks into his office, he can see how reluctant his second in command seems to be as he asks. “Are you busy?”“Not really. Just going over the new programming for the trackers.” He says absently as he turns his chair a bit to place him in his line of sight. “What do you need?” He half expects Woohyun to tell him they have to replace one of the most expensive machines for the way he is fidgeting in place, not that it would overly bother him at the moment.“The funeral service for agent Lee will be held the day after tomorrow.” R’s voice breaks through the daze he was in. He had been staring at the same piece of code for the best part of an hour now, unable to make any progress. “Will you be attending?”Kibum thought of excusing himself. The idea of an empty coffin being lowered to the ground under a tombstone with his name on it, sounding terribly unappealing to him.But it would be disrespectful not to show up.“Of course.” He says, his tone sounds distant, even to himself. “I will.”
Inertia is also defined as the tendency of objects to keep moving in a straight line at a constant velocity.
He could see the worry in R’s eyes, but he chose to ignore it, turning back to staring blankly at his screen.
It seemed all of his department was waiting for him to explode, or maybe fall to pieces.
But he just couldn’t gather the strength to scold them for it.————–The service itself had been quiet and small as was the norm in their trade, but it also carried all the formality and protocol of a service for a military official.Kibum always found it silly that they would play this stupid pretence, they weren’t military.
They were assassins and spies, who were at the beck and call of people who thought they knew better than everyone else what was right, who need people in the shadows to make sure they hold no accountability for their actions.He doesn’t remember a word of what M said at the service, but he knows it was nice. It has always surprised Kibum the way they could all pretend to be affected deeply even if death had become a common thing for them a long time ago. But it was right there as he stared at the empty coffin, before it was slowly lowered into the ground, that it really hit him.Taemin was dead.It was more than likely, why else would he not come back?Ha he been captured, he would have escaped by now, or they would have gotten some sort of threat or demand from whoever it was, or they would have found him when they stormed the other bases.It wouldn’t make sense for him to be alive.When he gets back to his apartment that night closing the door behind him, he can feel the weight of it all, leaning back into it and sliding down to the floor.Taemin was dead because he fucked up.Buried under tons of rock, or killed in captivity when they found no use for him.He lets the thought bounce around in his head, his eyes water before he can really acknowledge it.
He doesn’t remember the last time he cried; but he knows it has been a long time since then. The feeling almost foreign, even if the ache in his chest is painfully familiar.Maybe it was because he was starting to look forward to the future again, that he saw life beyond MI6 as a far off possibility.Because of Taemin.Because the time he spent with him had made him happy in a way he doesn’t remember feeling before. The memories of early childhood painted in nostalgia paling in comparison. Kibum has never questioned it before, why he keeps moving forward, why he sticks around through all of it. He never really cared, never really knew where it was taking him, he just kept going.Recently long lasting happiness seemed like a far off goal, it felt more real than anything before.
However it dawns on him now, how easily it becomes an impossible dream, even if a few years ago he hadn’t even spared a thought about it. It should be hurting more, but he can’t really feel it; just like pinching at numb skin. Because he knows there is no way but forward.There has never been.
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“Why would you need a jetpack?”“To get out of places fast.”“Choi, even if that were true any kind of jetpack would be too bulky to be practical. You would be better off running away.”“No, but listen to me ok, it would be faster than climbing over a wall.”“And that would justify the extra weight, and the extremely noticeable bulk on your back the rest of the time?”“You could make it small.”“Or you could avoid getting trapped in a situation where you had to climb a wall.”Like that would ever happen.“But if you just-”“No Minho, I can’t make it small, if I made it small it wouldn’t be able to carry you, and you get shot at all the time. Do you really want to be carrying around a tank of fuel?” Minho might be a great agent, but he is also one of the most likely to get into a gun fight.Minho is about to answer, when Jonghyun cuts him off.“M wants to see you in his office.” Jonghyun says, leaning on the doorframe to his office, looking at KEY, and ignoring Minho.“Did he say what for?” KEY asks, relieved to have an excuse to drop the subject.“Not really, but if you are done here, you should go.” He answers with a shrug.————-It has been three months since Taemin was declared dead, ten since he went MIA, and KEY should have expected it, but as it were, it took him by surprise.“This is the new 005, agent Kim Jongin.” M said, handing over a thick file.
He seemed to be scrutinising KEY’s face for a reaction.
Onew had been walking on eggshells around him since Taemin went missing.He kept his face carefully emotionless, even though he could hear his heartbeat drumming in his ears. He has always known how easily replaceable everyone is in this place.He just never thought he would have to see the day it was Taemin being replaced.“You’ll be his main handler, at least until he settles in to his new rank.” He said, still scanning his face for any kind of reaction, “Will you be alright with that?”
“I see no reason why I wouldn’t” KEY answered, carefully keeping his voice emotionless, “Would that be all?”Onew seemed to hesitate before answering, “I’m sorry.”KEY remained silent for a moment, considering playing dumb and pretending he didn’t know what he meant, “It is the nature of the job.” He said at last. “We all know it.”“I know.” Onew looked pained and tired as he said, “Just… take care of yourself.”“You are getting soft, old man.” KEY said as he turned and left the room closing the door softly behind him.
“I think you should go home early today, let R run things here for a change.” Jonghyun said as he walked out of the room. “You look like hell.”“For once, I think you might be right.” Jonghyun looked surprised at the lack of arguing on his part.“You know, if you need to talk…” He said placing a hand softly on his shoulder.“I know.”“No one blames you for it. You know that right?” Jonghyun says softly. “It wasn’t your fault.”He hates the fact that he has become so transparent as of late.“Of course.” The lie falls easily from his lips.He knows no one blames him, no one but himself that is. He thinks as he walks back to his office, the file in his hand feeling heavier than it should.———It would be easier he reckoned, leafing through the file as he reaches his office, if this kid wasn’t so alike to Taemin.
His skill set, his mission record, hell, he even looks a bit like him.It seems like his job is just going to get harder.He gets a hold of his favourite mug and the bottle he kept in the lower drawer of his desk, leaning back in his chair filling it up and taking a long swig.
There isn’t much of notice on his mission record, but all the missions were cleared without complication.A great candidate for the double oh program, he understands why Onew chose him, he would have been his first choice as well, given the little he knows about the regular agents as of late.
Maybe he will get all of his equipment back with this one, the thought making him laugh bitterly.He takes another swig, it would be so much easier if he wasn’t filling an empty spot.He disabled the facial scanners he had kept running since Taemin went missing with a deep sigh.It was time to move on, he thought, as he gathered his things to leave.
———
It was the first time he had left work early since he had been promoted to head of Q branch, and he was certainly not enjoying London’s underground rush hour.
He was lost in his thoughts, maybe he shouldn’t have downed half the bottle.At first, he thought he was imagining it, maybe he had overdone it with the drink, but he didn’t feel drunk enough to start hallucinating, not that he ever had.Taemin was right there.He wanted to laugh, the situation seemed ridiculous, he had spent so much time, looking for him, and just as he gave up, here he was.
The platform was packed, but KEY could find that face anywhere. There, not a hundred meters in front of him, was Taemin.After almost a year spent running facial scans from as many cameras as he could get access to worldwide, as often as he could manage. After more than a year fearing him dead, or worse, captured and tortured by the enemy, here he was looking perfectly fine, waiting, alongside hundreds of strangers for the train to arrive.He didn’t move, he didn’t call out.He wondered whether this was what it felt like to see a ghost, or to lose your mind. He must be losing his mind.And just like that, he realized that there was one possibility he hadn’t considered in this past year.Maybe Taemin was fine all this time. But he didn’t want to be found.He stood there, frozen, wondering how a face that used to be so familiar, felt so alien, out of place.The train came into the platform and left with Taemin in it, before he could even think about moving.
———-
Three weeks later, Taemin came back to MI6 headquarters.
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After that night Kibum had found himself trapped in a frenetic, desperate need for distraction.He needed his mind to be occupied elsewhere, he needed work.
He barely slept, he couldn’t let himself relax in any way, because the moment he did, he was drowned by thoughts he did not wish to examine too closely. Engulfed by questions he had no answer to.There is nothing he hates more than questions he cannot find the answer to.Most of all, Kibum was angry.At himself mostly, he had let himself stupidly believe…He knew better than to trust anyone, anything.And Minho wanted a jetpack, he should focus on that.His sudden change in demeanour was starting to scare the department.
To be fair, he would have reacted the same way had he been in their place.The knowledge however, did not make the nervous shuffling around any less annoying.He decides that his personal workshop is the best place to be, R can handle all of the mess in R&D’s main floor.He would make that damn jetpack, but he wouldn’t give it to Minho; not a chance, there must be some better use for it.Of course Taemin had been playing him. There was always an angle, Kibum knows it. He had seen him do it to countless people before.He’d been blind sighted.He takes out a big sheet of paper, always finding it more comfortable to work with for early design stages than the tablets.His job was to not trust anyone and he’d failed miserably.He trusted Taemin.Against his better judgement he had trusted someone whose job was to manipulate people on a regular basis.There was nothing he could do about the size of the jetpack itself, or it wouldn’t be stable enough.
Maybe if he could switch the position of the propulsion system though.
Something that was attached to hands and feet, maybe that way it could be disguised.
But that would throw off the balance.He should turn him in. He should have already.It just comes to show how much of a number he did on Kibum that he hasn’t already.It makes him all the angrier. He is compromised, he can’t even deny it to himself. He doesn’t even know what he is waiting for.Maybe he just hopes that he imagined it all, a combination of exhaustion and alcohol playing tricks on him.He knows it’s not the truth.Materials.It should be something light, and it would need insulation if the propellers are to be attached to the hands and feet.
The feet wouldn’t be a problem, but the hands… It wouldn’t be discreet enough.He is scared, he can acknowledge that much, Taemin is an incredibly capable ally, a formidable enemy.And Kibum has been looking for him, maybe he did not have all the resources he could get, but he had been trying. Hadn’t he?Maybe if he can figure out a way to generate the propulsion needed without a burnable fuel.It’s been a week already, the longer he waits the harder it will be to explain.He should just pretend it never happened.But if Taemin is up to something.He knows how dangerous that can be. Keeping it to himself could put people at risk, he is putting everyone at risk by keeping this information to himself, Taemin knows too much.Still there is something that makes him pause, because he knows deep down that Taemin wouldn’t want to hurt anyone here.It isn’t the first or the last time this runs through his mind.He goes back and forth on it for the next two weeks, but before he can make up his mind on whether to turn him in or not.His inner struggle comes to an end when Jonghyun sends him a message the moment Taemin shows up.
》J: Guess who’s favourite 00 decided to play a resurrection act.《
And somehow through all the stress he has been under he can appreciate the humour in it, before the meaning really hits him.He is about to text Jonghyun back a Final Fantasy reference, when he realizes.Taemin is back.Taemin is back and he didn’t trigger any security alerts.He hadn’t removed Taemin from the system, his security clearance allowed him into the building.That was a huge oversight on his part. He seems to be having a lot of those lately.Especially since he knew Taemin was alive.It sends him into a slight panic, had he really been that careless?He forgot, he fucking forgot to remove Taemin’s security clearance.Sure, he did not have the clearance that a 00 would have, but still. He forgot to remove his access entirely, it was routine for any agent declared dead, even ones that did not disappear.It’s not good. Not good at all.What if Taemin was compromised? He left the door wide open for a potential enemy.Fuck. He himself, had turned into a potential enemy.Stupid. So stupid.He is in no position to make judgement calls on Taemin.He texts Jonghyun back.
《Don’t let him out of your sight.》
———-A week goes past before he hears anything again, he can guess that Onew is putting him through the wringer.
He would have heard by now if he had been taken into custody, and he doesn’t really want to press Jonghyun for details.He starts feeling paranoid, constantly torn in between wanting to go up there and find Taemin, and sitting in his office constantly watching the security feeds just in case Taemin comes over.Finally, he gets an official memo. “Agent Lee will be reinstated as a regular agent.”
Alongside a schedule for his medical examination and instructions for Q branch to fit him for new gear.In truth he doesn’t want to see Taemin at all.The more he thinks about it, the more certain he is that there is something off about this whole ordeal.He wants answers.But maybe he doesn’t want to be the one to get them.———“R” The older man turns towards him.“Agent Lee will be coming down shortly, would you mind putting the new tracker on him?” KEY says, not even bothering to turn to look at him. “He will also need new gear, but that can wait till next week.”“Aren’t you in charge of him?” Woohyun asks confused.“I’m busy,” KEY answered tapping at the screen in his hands with rapid motions. “And he isn’t a double-oh anymore, so I’m assigning you as his handler for the time being. We’ll see who is fit to take care of him later on.”“Wait, what?”“He is a bit absent minded but he is quite capable.” His tone was flat, attention entirely directed to the device in his hands.“Are you serious?”“If you won’t take him, I will get someone else to do it, but I would rather have someone with experience dealing with double oh’s in charge of him, everyone else is too busy.” And that was the thing KEY had been the only handler Taemin had had since he became a 00.“What?” KEY asks when he doesn’t get an answer.“You are taking this surprisingly well.” R answers.“Surprisingly?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.R looks like he wants to say something, but seems to reconsider and just says “I’ll take good care of him.” as he walks away.———“Where is KEY?” Taemin asked when R came towards him with tools for installing a new tracker.“He’s busy, so you get me.” Woohyun said fake cheerfully.“I can wait.”“You can’t, actually, M gave orders for you to go to medical right after so that they can clear you for active duty.” Jonghyun chimed in absently, without looking up from the file he was reading.“Don’t worry, the probability of me maiming you with this,” R says gesturing towards the gun looking thing they used to install the tracker, “Is extremely low.”“He is my handler, what could possibly be more important…”“KEY is the head of Q branch, he only handles the double-oh’s, if anyone at all, a rank you no longer possess,” Woohyun cut him off. “So for the time being, I will be in charge of you. I’m his second in command so you still get special treatment.”“Don’t look so worried, I used to be KEY’s handler back in the day, and he is still alive, isn’t he?” R said in response to Taemin’s dubious expression.“KEY used to be a field agent?” Taemin asked.“Wow, I thought he was exaggerating when he told me you were absent minded.” R said as he rubbed a disinfectant drenched cotton ball on his arm. He picked up the device, “This is going to hurt.” He said as he moved to apply the tracker.“He even was a trainee around the same time you were.” He continued as he pulled the trigger.Taemin didn’t flinch.“We are all done here.” R put a bit of gauze on top of the wound, “Go on, you have physicals to go to.”He thought back to his training days and early work on the field, he doesn’t remember many people from that time, but certainly he would have remembered someone like Kibum, maybe they had never crossed each other back then.———–KEY watches all the procedure from his office where he has taken for hiding recently.
In between the knowing looks his department seems to be stuck on giving him, and the slight fear that Taemin might show up unannounced, he could try and deny that that is what he has been doing all this time.
But it would be pointless.Taemin looks well, he doesn’t remember ever seeing him like this before, he seems so relaxed, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.It fills Kibum with a sense of dread he can’t quite pinpoint the reason for.Before leaving, Taemin looks directly at the camera.Kibum huffs in annoyance.Of course he would believe that Kibum was watching.
———
It’s a habit he needs to break, but he can’t help it.
The need to keep track of Taemin and his whereabouts seems to have become a constant impulse.
He is seriously afraid that he is gathering information or something of the sort, preparing an attack for someone.At least that is what he wants to make himself believe.Up until now Taemin seems to be sticking to a simple routine. Keeping to the training rooms when he is at headquarters, and occasionally coming down to Q branch, he is only allowed into the area that they use for debriefing and delivery or return of equipment, but that is close enough to the control room that it sets him on edge.
He then spends most of his time at home, at least as far as Kibum can tell.
He doesn’t really keep track of everywhere he goes outside of MI6.He shouldn’t care anymore. Onew seemed to trust him, that should have been enough for him.But there is this constant doubt. He doesn’t know why Taemin hadn’t come back before; why he chose to do so now.Somehow he is even more afraid of the answer.So he does everything in his power to avoid him, because maybe if he distances himself enough he will not feel the burning anger he has no reason to feel.Not that it takes much, Taemin isn’t allowed in and out of R&D or the control room anymore, so that is how he spends most of his time in between monitoring missions, in his work shop.
He has a fair number of useless prototypes piled up all around him by now.He is so absorbed in his thoughts that he messes up the circuit he is welding, smoke and sparks burst out of it, and he shoves it off the workbench with a curse.
It lands with a loud crash, and he can see some of his minions jump, through the glass wall that separates his personal workshop from the rest of the floor. He angrily closes the blinds using the remote he keeps in his pocket.He shouldn’t care anymore.“I would ask what that poor thing ever do to you, if I didn’t think you would toss something at me.” Jonghyun’s voice startles him. He hadn’t noticed him arrive.The older man is standing in the doorway with a small smile, and for a moment Kibum seriously considers throwing something at him.“What are you doing here?” KEY asks.“Well, you have been hard to come across lately.” He says picking up the miniature winch he had been working on, turning it over in his hands. “I need to know what you know.”“About?”“Taemin.” He says, still inspecting the device in his hands.“Why do you think I know anything you don’t?” KEY answers with a bored tone, suddenly not overly worried about not speaking up about seeing Taemin.“You are good Bummie, but you are not that good.” He places the belt in the work bench, turning to lean back against it, shifting his gaze to make eye contact. “You know something.”“Or I don’t.”“But if you do it’s in your better interest to tell me now.”“You know.” KEY says, dropping into a chair on the back of the room and stretching his legs. “Threatening doesn’t suit you.” “Who is threatening?” Jonghyun asks, and Kibum can’t help but find it cute.“Taemin has been in London for about three weeks now.” He says, his voice void of emotion. “I don’t know what he was up to in that time, or where he was before for that matter, I just saw him once.”“Just once?”“Ran into him by chance.” He says, whether Jonghyun believes him or not, he doesn’t really care.Jonghyun’s gaze is set on him for a moment before he says, “Fine. I don’t care what you and Taemin are playing at if you do it off the clock. But you can’t keep this up.” He pushes himself off of the workbench and makes his way out, muttering ‘this is starting to look like a dumpster’ loud enough for KEY to hear.
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Kibum seems to have gotten himself a second shadow, a week or two after Taemin had first been down in Q branch, Kibum had noticed someone following him home.
A quick browse through the security cameras in the area, showed him a familiar figure.Taemin doesn’t seem to mind that he knows he is following him.He doesn’t go home any more often than he did before, but Taemin seems to know whenever he goes out of headquarters. However he does not try to make contact.At least he didn’t for a while.———Kibum opens the door to his flat.“You should improve the security of this place, it is pretty weak. Didn’t even take me five minutes to disable the security system.” Hearing Taemin’s voice directly while they are in the same room after such a long time is an odd experience.“I don’t keep anything important in here.” He answers calmly.The sight of Taemin sitting on his couch like everything is right with the world irks him.“This could have been an ambush.”“Do you really think,” He says as he takes off his coat and shoes, getting his tablet out of his bag before dropping it on the floor. “I didn’t already know you were here.” “Oh.” Taemin seems slightly taken aback by his attitude.“What are you doing here Taemin?” Kibum says rubbing at his face. He should just get this over with.
Taemin will surely get bored of following him around eventually. “Asides from ruining my carpet with those shoes.” He asks as he moves towards the kitchen to put the kettle on.“This is the only way I seem to be able to see you.”“Well, the whole point of avoiding you is precisely that we don’t see each other. Thought you could take a hint.”“That is exactly why I am here,” Taemin says. “I want- I need to talk to you.”“And now you have.” Kibum was still not looking at him, perfectly happy to pretend he was alone. “You can be on your way now.” “I don’t understand.” Taemin seemed exasperated. “Why are you avoiding me?”“Why would I?” He asked softly, a sardonic smile taking over his features.Taemin falls silent.“After all, I just thought you were dead.” Kibum’s voice wavered a little. “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t sound insincere, but Kibum knows not to trust words. “I needed to get away from MI6 for a while.” Taemin said his voice soft and quiet.“Good for you.” He can pretend those same words haven’t been haunting him.
Taemin being here, it’s too much or not enough. He doesn’t really know.“Would that be all? I really ought to get to bed.” Kibum says dryly, finally lifting his gaze to meet Taemin’s. What he really wants, is to know why.Why did he have to come back.He knows he is being mean, there must be a reason for Taemin’s prescence.“Then again, you were probably just messing around, weren’t you?” He could have just let the conversation die, let him leave, but he couldn’t help it. The words leave his mouth almost unconciously on his part. He knows Taemin understands everything Kibum means to say with that. “Enjoyed your free time?” His tone becoming detached again.He doesn’t know if they are talking about personal or professional matters anymore, it seems that the line has become blurry between them.It made sense, why Taemin would steer clear from MI6. Any agent would want out after a while, any agent with a bit of humanity left in them, that is.Onew would let him come back just like that, if he hadn’t gotten up to much. Taemin is that good of an agent.
Like an unplanned vacation, perhaps.It explained why he didn’t let Kibum know he was alive.“I wasn-”He doesn’t care.“How did you even get out of there anyway?” Kibum cuts him off.“Kibum I-” Taemin tries again.“You weren’t even there were you?” Kibum interrupts him again. “When it all went to hell?”“No.” He answers after a moment of silence, he seems to have resigned himself to the new topic. “I wasn’t.”Kibum huffed, “I have to give you some credit. That was some fine tampering with the systems; I really thought you were there.” It was a safer topic, something that has been bothering him since he saw Taemin at that platform.“As did everyone else. I did get shot though.
Not in that basement, mind you, a guard spotted me when they were fleeing the base.”“How long had you known about that base?”“A few months, it really wasn’t that crowded before.” Kibum could tell Taemin was trying to measure his reaction. “I went inside about three times.”Before the fucking reckon team went there. He had planned it so carefully.How had he not noticed before?“You had already planted the bug, huh?”Taemin must have known perfectly well, that Kibum would send him and not any other double-oh for that mission.“I’m surprised they didn’t find it, it was there for at least three weeks.”He hates himself for it, but he can’t help but ask. “Where did you go?”It was a stupid question to ask.“I missed you.” Taemin says.“Sweet.” He doesn’t know how he manages to keep his voice so level and unaffected. “That’s not an answer though.”Taemin smiles. “I missed talking to you.”So this is how it’s going to be.He supposes the best course of action is to pretend he doesn’t mind.
He wonders briefly whether they will just fall back to their old routine; whether that is what Taemin wanted coming here.The whistle of the kettle boiling breaks through the silence.
Quietly, Kibum moves to turn off the gas, dropping the forgotten tablet on the kitchen counter.
He occupies himself by fixing himself a cup of tea, deliberately not offering one to Taemin, keeping his back to him.“Your place is really nice.” He hears Taemin say, from somewhere behind him.“Thanks.” Small talk, he thinks, is safe enough until Taemin decides to leave.It shouldn’t take long now anyway, Taemin isn’t all that good at keeping conversation going when someone is adamant to end it.
He remembers a couple of times where he had to give him a cue on missions, back when he first became a 00.They’ve come a long way since then.He tenses the moment he feels Taemin draw closer from behind him, until he feels the weight of his head on his shoulder, Taemin’s hand loosely holding onto his waist.
The touch feels strangely grounding, almost like confirmation that this is all happening and it’s not just an extremely detailed nightmare.He is afraid of how far he will let himself go if Taemin chooses to go forward. But they just stand, Kibum’s hands clutched, white-knuckled onto the counter in front of him.“For what it’s worth, I really am sorry.” It’s barely above a whisper, but it seems to fill the space around them.The touch cruel in its kindness.“That would mean something if I knew what you were apologizing for.” His voice has a rasp to it as he answers.
As it stands the words feel hollow, they bring him neither peace nor comfort. “You don’t owe me a thing.”Silence settles heavily between them. Kibum could swear he could feel the way Taemin hesitates before he lets go.
A mix of relief and disappointment hits him as he hears the front door open and close, signalling Taemin’s departure.He isn’t even sure what he wants from all of this anymore, if he ever wanted anything.He takes his cup and pours its contents down the drain, the thought of food or drink turning unappealing in comparison to the comfort of his bed and unconsciousness.He is way too tired to think anymore. He gets ready for bed hoping that will be enough to put him to sleep.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"I can't believe he would willingly go down there." Kibum hears through his headset."R, would you mind telling me why is Agent Lee in the control room with you?" KEY asks, shifting uncomfortably in the tight space."Shouldn't you be focusing on what you are doing right now?" Taemin asks.Kibum does not answer Taemin's jab."He slipped in when I wasn't looking."Taemin wasn't technically prohibited from being in the control room if there wasn't a mission in progress, so he couldn't pull that card to get him out.Kibum is in one of the underground tunnels where they ran a lot of the cables that fed into Q branch, there had been a recurrent glitch in the system the past week, it's something really small; not really an issue but it has been getting on his nerves.
He had narrowed it down to faulty wiring in one of the tunnels, but actually finding the cause was a bit trickier. The amount of times he had sent some of his minions to check on it, just for them to return empty handed, was just about to drive him insane."Run a diagnostic of T-5638 please." KEY tells R, picking out one of the wires from the tangle that seemed a bit crooked and old, resolute on ignoring Taemin's presence in the room."Nothing there."He already knew the scans would find nothing, they hadn't before, but he needed to get himself to focus back on the task at hand."I'll move further down."The tunnel was not particularly dirty but the smell of stale air was prominent, he really does hate doing this kind of thing.He points his flashlight down the tunnel and starts advancing slowly looking for flaws in the wiring that runs flat against the wall."Why don't we have a drone to do this?""I don't think we ever needed one before." Woohyun answers."Well, you are now assigned to design it, I'm done with walking into this tunnels."He hears Taemin laugh in the background."Don't you have anything better to do than watch us do maintenance?""This is entertaining." Taemin answers.It almost feels normal, somehow it allows Kibum to relax a little.His train of thought gets cut off when one of the sensors he is carrying bleeps, right before he hears Woohyun say 'there is the glitch again'.The sensor matches for data transfer which is not good.There are no transmitters down here, not theirs anyway, everything runs through closed circuit optic fibre down here. The transfer itself is small, just a few kilobytes. But if the frequency at which the system has been having the glitch is anything to go by, then it might be worrisome.He doesn't have to look much longer once he has figured out it's one of the optic fibre lines that has been tampered with to find the small transmitter attached to one.He doesn't disconnect it, he takes a closer look at it, the design is somehow familiar but he can't quite place it.The transmitter is probably designed to cause the small glitch to disguise the data transfer every time it happens."Everything alright down there?" Woohyun asks."Yeah" KEY answers, "I found the issue." He says fiddling with the small gadget, he can probably find a way to access it from his office to find out what it is sending out."Is it bad? Can you fix it?""Not too bad, it appears we have rats." He says keeping his tone neutral, he needs to talk to M. "It can wait, I'll take care of it some other time. We are done here for now, I'm going back up."He walks out of the tunnel, and straight to his office, throwing a "Don't bother me unless the place is burning down, I'll be in my office." over his shoulder to Woohyun as he walks by.
The familiar look of the device bothering him to no end."What's wrong?" Kibum hadn't really noticed Taemin following him into his office, but of course Taemin would take note of his change in behaviour at once, he thinks slightly annoyed."You shouldn't be here." Kibum says, glancing at him over his shoulder, opening a file cabinet and taking a folder out, he is sure he has seen that kind of design before. "If you would be so kind as to leave." It's futile to ask Taemin to leave, he knows, but he really can't spare enough thought to it to come up with something better. He needs to get him out of here so that he can sort this mess out as fast as he can, every moment he wastes in this is costing precious information."You wouldn't kick me out would you?" Taemin asks with a slight grin."Really not a good time Taemin." He closes one drawer and opens the next one, it should be in here somewhere, he knows he has seen it before, he flicks through the folders, skimming through rows of mission names; hoping that will trigger his memory.
But if it was a device recovered on an older mission it would be in the main archive by now, he doesn't keep cases older than five years here, making digital storage secure enough is much more of a hassle than the file vault in the basement.It must be a big organization, he reasons, and they must have someone on the inside for them to be able to access the tunnels.
He'll have to investigate the whole department.He shuts the drawer, and turns towards his desk, information about the device might not help right now, he uses the frequency he picked up from the bug to find it again and access it through one of his secured servers.He turns his chair around absently, from the corner of his eye he can see Taemin lounging in his sofa, looking at him, he ignores it.There is a soft ping that signals his program retrieving the data that is stored in the bug.Agent names and the mission data they were given comes up on his screen, those that had been deployed in the last three to four weeks, which he assumes is around the time the bug was planted. He recognizes some of them as undercover agents, most of the names on the list however are just on active duty.The list is still encrypted, so that should buy him some time to figure this out, maybe enough to pull the ones that are at more risk back.Small mercy.He pulls up the log of sent information, the first transfer is from almost two weeks ago, the file small enough that it doesn't worry him too much, it seems that so far, they haven't been able to retrieve much. At least from this route. He can't tell about the rat.He creates a bypass for the bug to extract information from a new file as a decoy, altering the official mission information slightly, he doesn't really want to alert this people that he knows.
He sets an alert for the data transfer, perhaps he can figure out where it is going, and sends a text to alert Jonghyun that he is going up to talk to M.A plan of action for finding the traitor among their ranks already forming in his mind.He is about to get up when he catches sight of Taemin again, he was so focused on what he was doing he forgot he was even there.If he hadn't been so distracted trying to avoid Taemin he would have probably found this earlier.He is in a much more relaxed state than Kibum would believe he should be, the sight slightly annoying in face of the mess he has in his hands."I have to go see M."Taemin, who had been staring off into the empty, focuses on him again, seeming slightly confused by the announcement."You can't stay here by yourself." He states feeling extremely tired all of a sudden.
It's not like he had been allowed to do so before, but Kibum had never really minded it."Don't you trust me?" Taemin's voice is so soft, even if it does not denote any kind of hurt, it almost makes Kibum feel guilty for admitting to it."Would you?"They sit in place, silent, the weight of the situation at hand hanging heavy between them.
However after a moment Taemin gets up without saying a word, walking out the door.
Kibum stares at the space Taemin's back disappeared from view for a while longer, sighing deeply before getting up and following suit closing the door behind him, a slight click signalling it locking by itself as he walks down the hall.He doesn't know how he will manage survive this.
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He works at home more often than not this days, returning almost every night. It makes him feel safer than the office where he knows he is being watched.The change in his behaviour seems to go unnoticed and even welcomed by most, probably because he has been such a mess lately.There is paperwork strewn all over the floor of his formerly spotless living room, and the surveillance range he had set around his apartment has been extended by three blocks, aside from some more offensive measures of defence for anyone who attempts to drop by unannounced.There is a knock on the door, he pulls up the camera feed on the laptop laying by his feet, Taemin is standing outside of his door.He walks down to the door and leaves it open before turning around to go back to his spot on the sofa.Taemin closes the door behind him, taking off his shoes and coat, leaving them by the door.Kibum wasn't expecting Jinki to send Taemin, but he supposes it is less suspicious than Jonghyun visiting him at home."This is all the information we have on them so far." Taemin hands him a thick manila envelope as he sits in the arm chair opposite from him.Kibum takes it, glancing at Taemin briefly as he unlaces the latch and pulls out the stack of folders inside.He hasn't seen Taemin much in the few weeks since he found the bug, but it seems that it has helped alleviate the tension in their interactions for some reason.He skims through the first file as he pulls it out.Why Onew had chosen to wait so long to give him concise updated information of what they knew, he doesn't know. It doesn't sit well with him, he'll berate him for it later."May I?" Taemin asks, gesturing toward the pile of agent profiles he has been reviewing for the past few hours, looking for any suspicious behaviour, or origin.The pile of agents he wants to do a deeper research on has been growing steadily."Go ahead." He answers still rifling through several pages of the suspected movements of S.P.E.C.T.R.E. in the past six months, gathering that some locations might be fairly problematic. The exact address for the location the bug has been feeding information to catches his eye, he makes sure to place a mark on it, before he sets the file aside for the moment.Taemin has a small frown on his face as he asks, "Have you found anyone you can trust enough to help?" "Minho seems to be the most viable option, out of all of the double-oh's at least." Kibum answers. "I don't know about most of the tech department, perhaps R; we've had too many new recruits lately, and I can't rule out all of the older staff either. As for the field agents," He sighs. "It will take a while, going through all their backgrounds.""What are you looking for?""Any link to S.P.E.C.T.R.E.'s known activity, including proximity to places we know they've operated at."He's been working solely with the data he had from their last encounter nine years ago.The updated information should help move things along."Simple." Taemin says with a bit of an incredulous smile.Kibum leans back and runs his hands over his face, perhaps it's the exhaustion but he is unable to keep the smile from his face. "Not the glamorous life you imagined?" He asks looking at Taemin without lifting his head from the backrest of the sofa.Taemin pouts, "want help?""Sure," Kibum sighs deeply, "I could use a hand."They have been at it for a couple of hours before inevitably Taemin breaks the comfortable silence that the focus in the task at hand had settled between them."You trust me now?" He asks out of the blue, perhaps he had been thinking about it all this time.Kibum doesn't want to answer, but letting the silence go on for too long doesn't seem like a better option."No," Kibum answers, as emotionless as he can manage. "but Onew is vouching for you. I trust his judgement." Taemin pauses as he is picking up another file. "I see." Is all he says.Another hour or two goes by before Taemin tosses the file he had been reading, onto the table, knocking down the neat pile Kibum had stacked earlier.Kibum glares at him before straightening it up again."Sorry." Taemin says.Kibum had noticed him getting increasingly restless over the course of the last hour."You don't have to stay." Kibum says, turning his attention back to the files.For a moment he thinks Taemin will leave, but instead he says, "I want to help."Kibum looks at him then."Just... not with this.""What do you propose then?""Check out that location?" He says, pointing at the address Kibum had highlighted hours ago."I'm not sending you alone, we are shortstaffed as it is." Kibum replies. "And Jonghyun should stay as Onew's backup, in case they target him.""Didn't you say Minho was a good option.""I can't deploy a 00 inside the country without raising suspicion, we need more time.""Then come with me.""What?""You were a field agent, R said so."He is going to kill that man."No.""C'mon," He says, with a grin, "we need intel." Like he knows Kibum can't deny it. Deny him.The little shit."It can wait." At least he is going to try."You know how fast things can change."Kibum knows, it would be to their benefit to know what is going on in one of their bases, perhaps placing a bug of their own, it would give them chance to know more about their movements."You know I'm right." His hesitation seems to encourage Taemin.He looks away from him, and towards the window, the first rays of light breaking the horizon in between the buildings."Fine." He answers, "But we are not going inside."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"Why couldn't we bring my car?""I don't know about you, but I would find a DB9 parked outside a seedy warehouse quite suspicious."A stakeout is simple. Sit around, watch the security around the facility, and take notes until the schedule of guard shifts is evident.It takes a long time."This car is awful.""It's my car.""Horrible."Kibum laughs, as he opens what used to be the glove box, but now houses a set of monitors, and turns them on.
The video feed from the cameras he hacked, and the ones they had installed earlier coming to life.The biggest reason he came along is that he knows there is only so much time Taemin will stand watching people come in and out of a building before rushing in.Perhaps if he is here he can delay it.He leans back in his seat, had it been just him, he would have settled with placing cameras around the facility, but Taemin had insisted they stay."You are lucky they didn't sell your car." He says, a lot of Taemin's assets had been auctioned off when he was officially declared dead."They couldn't. Remember the alterations you made?""Oh. Right, I'd forgotten about that." Taemin had asked for a bunch of things to be added to it. "Those ridiculous flame throwers in the exhaust. Have you ever actually used those?""Not yet." He answers. "What do you mean ridiculous?""You are meant to be a spy, a flamethrower is probably one of the flashiest things you could possibly think of.""You are going to tell me that if I lift this thing," He points at a panel in the console, "I won't find the same kind of thing.""I had to test it somewhere didn't I?""I'm liking this car a bit more now." He says with a grin. "What else did you put on this thing?""Mostly cloaking functions." He answers. "No, it can't turn invisible." He adds, knowing Taemin will ask."You couldn't do it?" Taemin says.He shoves him lightly, "What use could an invisible car have?" He asks laughing.Taemin chuckles and looks away from him."Where have you been staying?" He asks in turn, remembering the sterile looking apartment Taemin had in central London. It wouldn't have been hard to sell, he imagines."With Jonghyun." Taemin says, "He wants me to move out.""I don't think he does, he is such a softie."Their conversation dies out after that.The sun has been up for a few hours now, there seems to be more movement around the area, not much of it in the dilapidated warehouse they have their focus on.
Aside from a bored looking security guard in a windowed booth near the entrance, no one has come in or out of it in at least an hour and a half.
Before that just a small amount of people who looked as unremarkable as their apparent place of work, had gone in to start their day, not unlike any other worker.Maybe it's the lack of activity, they haven't moved since an hour ago when they went for food from a nearby fast food restaurant.There is something about Taemin that makes him relax, even now. Maybe it's because when he is with him, he doesn't need to be smart, or useful.It makes him feel like Taemin wants to be around him, just because.The exhaustion over the little sleep and sorting through piles of documents for the last week hits him all at once.His eyes feel heavy, he is vaguely aware of Taemin humming to a song he can't quite recognize, his fingers drumming lightly on the steering wheel. The weather has been so nice as of late, it all just becomes an out of place lullaby, slowly but surely putting him to sleep.------------He wakes slowly, he can feel the stiffness in his back immediately.
He turns to his right, Taemin is leaning back in the driver's seat looking absently at the entryway of the warehouse on the opposite side of the street. His form framed by the afternoon light.It's odd, the comfort he feels seeing Taemin at that moment.
The initial shock and hurt over him coming back having faded into the background, he just feels happy he is here.It doesn't matter what has happened."You dyed your hair." He says, and winces at the hoarseness in his voice.
His sleep-addled brain fixating on the ashy blond strands.Taemin chuckles and turns to look at him. "You hadn't noticed until now?""It looks good on you." Not like anything would manage to look bad on him. "Has anything happened?"He rubs the sleep from his eye as he shifts around in the seat to lay more comfortably. "No." Taemin hasn't taken his eyes off him. "You look like shit." "I'm okay." He answers, he might have laughed it off if Taemin hadn't seemed so serious."Are you?"Sometimes it's hard to tell what Taemin is thinking.Kibum looks away from him. The camera feed in front of him completely void of activity.He can't be angry at him.After all Taemin did what Kibum always wanted him to."You should have stayed away." Kibum says finally, "We've dealt with this before, and we are in a much better position than back then, we would have been alright.""If you had 'dealt with it', we wouldn't be here right now would we?" Taemin says, there is no real heat in his voice. "I couldn't stay away.""I know you don't want this." Kibum whispers, "Why come back?""For you." He snaps, a bit annoyed. "I came back for you."Just like that the semi-comfortable interactions they had settled into are gone."Are we talking about it right now?" Kibum asks with resignation, he is tired, but he knows it is inevitable at this point.
Now he understands why Jonghyun made Taemin bring the files.Such a meddler."I care about you." He says it quietly, like it was hard to say.And perhaps he wants to hurt Taemin as he lets out a dry laugh. "Nothing quite says 'I care about you' like making them witness your death." "I needed to get away. And I know you, this is everything to you." Taemin says. "What difference would it have made if I had told you?""So you pretending to be dead was your idea of what would be easiest for me to deal with?" He asks. "Do you really think you mean so little to me?" His voice is soft around the question. "At the very least I thought we were friends.""I didn't tell anyone. You know how hard it is to break away to the point they can't drag you back in." He answers, and has the decency to look guilty."You are back anyway." Kibum says offhandedly.Taemin doesn't speak straight away."I wanted something simple. It wasn't.""Okay." Kibum says, tired of circling around the issue, "So, tell me.""What?""You wanted something simple, if you left, I assume that means you found it." He continues dryly."I don't think it matters." Taemin says."You want me to forgive you, you want everything to go back to the way it was." Kibum chimes in. "It matters.""Can it go back?" He asks.He could lie.He doesn't. "No. It can't. But...""But?""It just won't be the same, maybe that is a good thing." Taemin hesitates before he says, "I... made a mistake. I trusted someone I shouldn't have.""What do you mean?""I- I think that this might have been my fault.""I doubt that."Taemin fiddles with the ring in his thumb. "Do you remember Son Naeun?"It takes a moment before the name clicks, he nods.She had been employed as a consultant for a mission months before Taemin disappeared, probably more, he is unsure about the timing.Kibum hadn't kept track of her after they succeeded."After we came back to England, I stayed in contact with her. Before I-" He cuts himself off, like he is looking for the right words. Kibum remains silent, waiting for him to continue."Naeun, she- She contacted me, said she needed help.""So you helped her?" He doesn't like where this is going.He nods, "She said a group had contacted her, offered to fund her research. But she wasn't sure about them, so she asked me to check them out."Naeun was the daughter of a renowned scientist that had been captured and killed a few years back, she had had a great knowledge of her mother's work, she had wanted to recover and continue her mother's research. He can't really remember the specifics, something to do with artificial intelligence; it hadn't been developed enough to be useful, but it showed promise.He always did mean to get back to that one."One of the board members of the company was in one of our watch lists." Taemin doesn't look at him, staring blankly out the window. "I told her, so she declined the offer."The knowledge that Taemin had leaked information makes him uncomfortable, however minimal it might have been.
Kibum should have been more careful of what he said around him."After a few weeks she contacted me again, said things hadn't gone over well, that she needed to disappear.""Is that the why...?" He trails off unsure of what it is he wants to ask."I helped her go away, but we still kept in touch."He looks down at his hands. "After a while she asked me to go with her."He turns to look at Kibum, he looks sad."You couldn't have been that naive." Kibum doesn't know if he should be more upset over the fact that she was so obviously playing him, or that it actually worked.
He ignores the twinge of jealousy he feels as he asks, "Were you two...?""It wasn't like that... not at first."He swallows around the knot in his throat before asking. "Were you in love with her?""Yes. No. I don't- know." He is looking forward absently. "I think I- loved the idea of her. I wanted to believe it, believe in her, so I did." He turns to look at Kibum after saying the last bit, seeking reassurance Kibum isn't sure he can give.He wants Kibum to tell him it was okay. That he wasn't an idiot for doing it.It's not like he doesn't understand the appeal, the fantasy like idealism that all will be well, he used to have it.But he knows better."What happened?""She... she was working with them all along." Taemin answers. "Since before they killed her mother."It makes a sad kind of sense, Taemin coming back. He understands somehow, how the familiar might bring comfort to him."She- I told her, more than I should have. About MI6."Kibum had guessed as much. He keeps any irritation out of his voice as he asks. "Do you think it's going to be a problem? If we come across her again?""It won't be a problem." He says with certainty. "She's dead."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The drive back to Kibum's flat is silent, both him and Taemin lost in their own thoughts.
Kibum wishes he was the one driving if only to have something to distract himself with.The warehouse is not going to be of much use, he knows a dead end when he sees one. Even if they were gathering information in that space it looked like a normal storage warehouse, a small one at that.
It doesn't fit with the profile of an organization as big as S.P.E.C.T.R.E.It crosses his mind several times to ask, about her, about whatever it was that Taemin went through in the time they had spent apart, but the question dies on his tongue every time he tries to voice it.He doesn't want to think about this personally, but it is hard not to do so.
It makes him wonder whether Taemin knows how easily he gets under his skin.It keeps the doubt alive in his mind, he really doesn't know whether Taemin is playing him or not.He tries to focus on what their next move should be, however his thoughts keep going back and forth between Taemin, Taemin and Naeun, the mission, Taemin and what they were trying to use him for if everything he says is the truth. Until everything melds together in an incomprehensible mess that leaves him a bit lost."I thought about it." Taemin's voice breaks through the mess of his thoughts. "Not coming back." He says, as he kills the engine, Kibum hadn't noticed they had stopped moving until just then.He wonders if the thought had been weighting on Taemin all this time."Perhaps that would have been the smarter choice." He answers. "Is that the why you were hanging around London for weeks?""Ah." Taemin leans his head back against the headrest, the trace of a smile on his lips. "I thought I had gotten away with it.""You did, for the most part. I ran into you on the tube." He answers with a hint of humour. "Completely under the radar, and-"
I had been looking for you.
He doesn't say it, just admitting it to himself makes him feel more vulnerable than he can handle."You have to tell me how you pulled that off," he says instead."Maybe you are just losing your touch.""Fuck you."Taemin turns to look at him, his expression isn't serious at all when he says, "I listened to you for once, kept my head down, didn't do anything crazy, and found out where all the cameras were."Kibum lets out an incredulous huff, "I'll find out how you did it eventually." He says climbing out of the passenger seat and making his way to the stairs.His phone goes off the moment he places a hand on the door handle to the stairwell, he stops and digs it out of his pocket. A message from Onew greets him as he unlocks it.
We need to have a chat.
Taemin stops behind him, trying to look over his shoulder, "something wrong?""M needs to see me.""Right now?" He questions with a frown."Yes""Should I come with you?"He hesitates for a moment, he really doesn't want to leave Taemin alone, but if Onew hadn't asked for Taemin, perhaps it is something he shouldn't be present for."No, I need you to keep going through the files, plus you should get some sleep." The pout he gets in response makes him laugh. "I'll be back in a couple hours," he says with a lightness he doesn't feel, taking hold of his house keys and handing them over to Taemin."Don't do anything stupid.""I'm insulted." Taemin half-smiles at him as Kibum turns around. He doesn't look back as he heads towards his car again, but he relaxes a bit as he hears the stairwell door closing behind him. --------- "You have surveillance on my place?" KEY asks, loudly enough to be heard from anywhere inside, as soon as he steps through the door."Of course I do." Onew's voice answers him from somewhere down the hall."Seems like you and Taemin are on good terms again." Onew remarks, as KEY walks into the dimly lit living room following the sound.He is sitting on an armchair at the opposite end of the room, nursing a glass, the image of deceptive relaxation doesn't do much to shake Kibum's uneasiness."I wouldn't put it like that." He answers. "Any reason you wanted to keep me out of the loop?" He doesn't use the formal tone he is used to put on at the office."I couldn't be sure you weren't involved." He doesn't seem particularly concerned."And now you are?" He asks, with a little disdain, "had I been involved, she would have gotten a job at R&D, back when we first worked with her."Onew quirks a brow at him questioningly."She was brilliant, but not what I was looking for." KEY says with a small shrug. "They wanted her on Q branch, not sure why."He'd spent the whole drive here trying to think about everything he could recall of that mission and whatever interaction he'd had with Naeun at the time. In hindsight she had been quite eager to join Q branch."So you are sure it is S.P.E.C.T.R.E.""You aren't?""Something is off." Onew says in response, but he doesn't elaborate."They had been staying out of our way, perhaps they know something we don't." He hasn't been able to just stop and reflect on it, but there is definitely something odd about the whole situation.Onew is quiet for a moment before saying, "they've taken out three of our agents, I just got confirmation." His voice is filled with an emotion Kibum can't quite place."And also, this." He takes a tablet from the table next to him, and hands it to Kibum.There is a photograph of Kibum's car parked outside of the warehouse on the screen."A list of our undercover agents was sent alongside it." He gestures at him to scroll further.He recognizes some of the names from the list he'd found on the bug, three of the names are crossed out.
It was one of the agents he hadn't been able to pull out safely, and two others that he didn't know they had information on."They know we are aware of the infiltration." Is all Onew says."The bug was too obvious, now this. They wanted us to know." Kibum answers, "we should send teams to help the rest of them to retreat.""Jonghyun is handling it as we speak.""They are mocking us." Kibum says with disgust, staring at the crossed out names.Onew stands up, and walks over to the window that overlooks the street. "They know they have the upper hand in this." Onew says quietly."I guess there was a point in you calling me?" He asks, lifting his gaze from the tablet."I need you to get in touch with your old pals." Onew says, without looking away from the window."The ones that hate my guts?""Those ones." Onew answers, "I know you keep track.""Doesn't mean I can get them to talk to me." He isn't even sure the mere sight of him won't result in a shoot first ask questions later situation."You can make them come around I'm certain." The confidence with which he speaks is infuriating in a way."And if I can't?""You know the drill." Onew says gravely, finally turning to look at him, "you know too much.""I really thought we were past those days." He says through a huff of laughter, and moves towards the dark wood liquor cabinet that sits beside the doorway, the old man always keeps some good stuff around."Don't think we will ever be." Onew's mouth quirks up in a half smile.He skims through the bottles, most of them are almost empty. "You have any clue as to who might be running this? Someone who survived last time and has a grudge?" He asks, putting the tablet down to examine one of the bottles more closely."No, this M.O. doesn't seem familiar." "A new player?""Maybe." Onew answers. "We may not have much time to figure this out if they are this bold." There is a moment Kibum thinks Onew will say more, but the other remains silent."About the infiltration." He says, settling for a 20 year scotch and pouring himself whatever is left of the bottle, his glass fuller than it should be."You'll have to choose carefully who you talk to."
Wonderful.
Kibum would have loved to at least know who it was that was leaking information before talking to information brokers that will most certainly sell him out.
"If I didn't know you as well as I do, I might think you were trying to get rid of me." He downs half of the glass after saying so.
"I wouldn't ask you to dig around if I didn't think it was absolutely necessary." Onew says, sympathetically. "They have us against the wall."
"Sometimes, I wish I had chosen jail." Kibum blurts out.
"No you don't." He smiles fondly, it makes Kibum wonder how this man still appears so soft, after everything.
"You think R can take over the role of Q?"
"I wouldn't have him as second in command if he couldn't." Kibum answers, "he hasn't disappointed me yet."
"What about the double-oh's?"
"If they approached Taemin, they might have approached some of the others as well, but that is just a guess, I have no reason to believe any of them are compromised." He says, "It's someone in Q branch, either a handler or someone from R&D."
"I'll have Jonghyun and Taemin look into it."
"Minho and Jongin are good options as well." Kibum tells him.
"I will keep that in mind."
"It will take me a bit to prepare, and get in contact with someone that knows what is going on." Kibum says.
"I don't feel good about this." Onew admits.
Kibum is sure he is one of the few people Onew would share that with.
"I can't say I'm thrilled about it either." He agrees, "but we need to know what their goal is. And like you said, it's not like we have that many options." As it is, Kibum still trusts his judgment.
"What about backup?" Onew goes back to the cold professionalism he usually adopts at headquarters, none of the doubt he expressed moments ago remains.
He considers it for a moment before shaking his head, "It will be harder to get them talking if there is someone else with me."
"They are watching us." Onew says. "It's stupid for you to go alone."
"It will hardly make a difference." Kibum responds, "it's far easier to go unoticed if it's just me."
"If you are sure." He sighs.
"You worry too much." Kibum says, walking towards him and patting him friendly on the shoulder, "I know how to take care of myself, and we are in a much better position than last time we went against them."
"I hope you are right."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Taemin isn't there when he returns to his flat, a note lays on top of the files on the coffee table.
Jonghyun needed help.
He folds the note and throws it back carelessly, they are still keeping an eye on Taemin. So much for Onew's vote of trust, though to be fair, Kibum would have done the same.There are too many variables still.He spends a moment tidying up the files before picking up the laptop he had abandoned earlier on the floor and boots it up.He purposefully ignores the memory of the crossed out names on the list.
He knew all of them at some time or another he had worked with them, liked them well enough.Death is part of the job, he reminds himself. No need to dwell on it.He barely pays any mind to the names on his old contacts watch list, not keen on reconnecting with any of them. They would not be willingly helpful, he pretty much screwed over everyone in it, wether they know it or not.
Anyone with half a brain would have noticed that he was somewhat involved with MI6 and would be coming for his head. Undercover work was always hard to navigate after the fact.Was it even undercover when he did the exact same thing for different people?There is no use pretending he isn't playing bait to see who bites, there is no getting around it, not when he burnt all bridges on his way out.He wonders which one would be the least likely to try to kill him before talking.Regardless of if he manages to get any useful information out of any of them, he will have lost whatever peace he had managed to build for himself since he left that circle.
Never really expected to need them.He curses his younger self for being so naive.He closes the screen and sinks back into the couch.He will go for the former thug for rent, turned club owner. He remembers him being talkative when irritated, also he is the most likely to run and spread the word that he is back, tracking his movements afterwards to know who he should talk to next should be fairly simple, but it will take time they probably can't afford.As much as this is just a lure to make MI6 look desperate, more vulnerable than they really are, let this people feel comfortable.His gaze falls onto the bookcase in front of him.There is that as well. Maybe it is time to test if his investment paid off, in case he can't get anything from the club owner.If both fail... well, there is no point in dwelling on it at this time.He walks to the bookcase and pulls out a dog-eared copy of The Night Manager, rifling through the pages until he finds a phone number scribbled messily in blue ballpoint on the margin of one of the pages.Perhaps he should make time to actually read the damn thing, once this is over he will take time off, he thinks as he inputs the number on a burner phone and sends a text.>I'm back in town, need a hand getting up to speed.He attaches the adress of the nightclub, a date and hour.Wether she knows anything about this new S.P.E.C.T.R.E., if it is them at all, is uncertain but at least he knows she won't immediately try to kill him, or at least he hopes so.-------The next few days are a blur of activity, between setting everything up, making sure that Q branch is working as it should. Making sure it can keep running without him if this takes more than a few days.
Constantly avoiding thoughts of how out of practice he is as he dissasembles and reassembles a gun, if everything goes well, he shouldn't need it.His real name is back on the system now, as no more than the whistleblower he was when he was first recruited. Then lost, presumed dead, a footnote. Like he hadn't been a part of MI6 for over half of his life now.All for a rat that he had been too absent minded to catch, he thinks bitterly. There is no way he can get support out there from Q branch if he doesn't want all his movements to be known.Taemin, who had been sticking to him constantly as of late is nowhere to be found, probably Onew's doing.
He is thankful for the space, it allows him to focus on the task at hand.He hasn't gotten confirmation for the text message, but he wasn't really expecting one, he never kept track of her.
She might have been smarter than him and gotten out of the bussiness altogether.As he stands in front of the mirror, ready to go, a week after his talk with Onew, the image looking back at him is unnerving. Not unlike a ghost standing in his bedroom.Gone is the average office worker look he has become so accostumed to.The odd sensation of not being half blind when looking at his face without a carefully selected pair of glasses that are always more distinctive than any of his features, and the touches of makeup he hasn't worn in what feels like forever.Being in this space, dressed like this, a grown up version of a style he would have worn casually over a decade ago; feels strange, like a skin he has outgrown, tight and ill-fitting.An older version of that loud spoken, blunt, impulsive kid.
Someone he had long left behind, or at least tried to.It brings back memories of times best forgotten and an old itch to run; to disappear, leave everything behind.He has changed, he realizes.It is more apparent to him now than ever before.
This time around, he doesn't even begin to consider running away. ------------ Music blears from speakers all around the room, loud enough to drown the sound of the mass of lavishly dressed people occupying the dance floor in various states of intoxication. The air feels heavy and warm. Too warm, just adding to the strange dissconnect between him and his past self.He is mystified at how he ever thought of it as inviting, when all he wants to do at the moment is locate all the exits.Then again, this kind of joint used to be his playground, now all he can expect to get here is trouble.He decides to weave through the crowd in the direction of the bar, giving himself time to recognize the layout. There are guards around the door that leads to the rooms in the back. One of them, Kibum recognizes, so he turns away. He doesn't want to hazard being recognized yet, he still needs some time.
He doesn't manage to get out of the crowd before a hand is linked to his elbow and pulls him in a different direction."What hole did you crawl out of?" The voice is barely audible over the noise around them, even that close to his ear, too close.
It's been a long time, but he can recognize the annoying tone of that kid."Hyeri. I was beginning to wonder if you had gotten yourself killed." He answers, as he lets her guide him to a table conveniently out of sight. "Nice to see you are well."She smiles at him as she sits down, placing her drink neatly on the table. "Wish I could say the same." The sitting area is somewhat less noisy than it's surroundings, not quite a comfortable place to speak, but it would be hard for anyone around to listen in."Now, is that a way to talk to your benefactor?" He says, checking their surroundings for onlookers once more before turning to look at her."Is that what you call it?""No. But it sounds nicer that way.""I'm just glad I didn't get dragged into your mess.""Smart." He laughs. "I see you made good use of my retirement fund." He says, gesturing at her clothes."You had to get rid of it somehow."He smiles as if to comfirm her words, but in reality, he could have kept it. He just needed people he could run to, in case MI6 turned on him. In hindsight it would not have helped."So." She says."So?""Some interesting characters have shown up lately," she comments, taking a sip out of her drink, "is that why you are back?""No, should I be worried?""No clue, never heard of this guy or his associates before, just heard he is cozy with some of your old darlings," she says, offhandedly "Name is Sunggyu, no last name as far as I can gather.""Doesn't ring a bell." He will have to research it later. "From overseas maybe?"She shrugs, "You didn't call for a stranger did you?""I would like to know who I should be looking out for." KEY says, "random stranger or not." "You mean who wants your head on a platter?" She smiles, "It would be faster to go through who doesn't. You really made your bed.""I know." He answers, "I'm more interested in who has the firepower.""I guessed as much," She reaches for something inside her bag, "I gather you have good backing?""Would I be here if I didn't?""You have done dumber stuff. All the trouble stirring up, it doesn't surprise me that you are back." Hyeri says, as she plays with the drive in her hand."Trouble?""You really are that out of it?""What is new about threatening MI6? Getting rid of their people?" Kibum says, "The specifics aren't as obvious.""The worst of it is." Hyeri answers, "There is always the usual suspects.""The ones that survived you mean.""Gotta admit that you were quite thorough in selling people out. But it wouldn't be the first time we saw people walk out of a grave.""Who?"She tsks. "First, my payment.""You owe me.""And the favour I granted you was this meeting." She smiles, "Knowing you is trouble.""How much.""Since I am generous. How about your usual fee.""Really? For this little?""Like you are one to talk."He catches a flash of blond hair out of the corner of his eye, he scans the crowd, maybe it comes out of habit, but it is incredibly easy to find Taemin in a crowd.He is sitting at the bar at the other end of the room."Fine." He says a bit clipped, and extends his hand to take the drive, "How do you want it?"It was too much to ask for Hyeri not to notice, "Is he with you?" She asks, nodding towards the bar.Kibum lets out a sigh, irritated. Even if he denies it now, it wouldn't be convincing and it would make her assume things. "Sure, 'with me'." He doesn't like the way she looks at him."I changed my mind," she says, pulling back her hand. "I want carte blanche.""What for?""Nothing." She says, "Anything.""Why do you think I can get that for you?""With a babysitter of that caliber?" Hyeri sniffs, gesturing towards Taemin. "I thought you just got tangled, but you really are something else, should I tread lightly?""What makes you think I'm doing this willingly? He's here to watch me." Falling into this kind of back and forth puts him on edge."Please, MI6's witness protection isn't that good for people like you, you vanished completely, and you don't look like you've been in a cell for the last decade. I don't think you would have managed to stay out of sight, you would have shown up somewhere earlier.
You disappear, then people start getting picked up left and right. MI6 agents start dropping like flies, then you come sniffing around? and..." She says, with a smile "he's been glaring at me this whole time." Kibum doesn't turn to look, but Hyeri's smile gets wider as she waves with her fingers in Taemin's direction. "Or maybe I'm reading too much into it? After all I believe I'm the only one who knows you walked away willingly.""Don't flatter yourself." He should have guessed something like this would happen. Hyeri is sharp, she knows Kibum as well; Taemin's presence must have confirmed what she already guessed. Perhaps he shouldn't have contacted her, she had been too close to him by the end. "Anyone would have walked away if they could back then.""So you are telling me they got to you anyway?"He lets out a frustrated breath, "I can't offer you anything." He settles on, no use trying to refute anything she says, the more he lingers on the topic the more reason she will have to believe she is right, he is working for MI6, but he was working for them even before they met. Rolling with it is his best option now. "I would need more, I could have gotten this much by myself, it's just faster getting it from you." He reasons, "besides, what leverage could I have on them?""Huh. Really now?" She smiles, "Almighty Key lost his teeth? Never thought I would see the day.""You make it sound like we've known each other all our lives.""You, me, people like us. Aren't we all the same? the moment you admit weakness you are as good as dead."Kibum shrugs."What would it take?" She asks after a pause."What?""Free pass. You don't have the leverage to get it for me, but you got away with a lot, if you have been out and about, I'm not asking for that much.""What it takes, is being at their beck and call, sticking out your neck.
It's not worth it, you are better off not involving yourself. And either way that 'immunity' ends whenever they feel like it. Next thing you know you are jumping into shark infested waters in exchange for crumbs." He takes out his phone, and makes the transfer, taking the usb drive from her hand. "The transfer is done, check your account."He moves to stand up."You really fucked up didn't you."That stops him. "What do you mean?She is leaning back in her seat, completely relaxed."Didn't you use to say 'You should always have an out'?""What makes you think I don't.""You are here." She laughs, "This type of place- why bother with an idiot like that?" She nods to the door next to the bar."Then again, a turncoat doesn't really have many options does he?"He raises his eyebrows."Please, isn't it obvious?" She plays with her nails as she says it, "Desperation, you reek of it. You've been away too long, or you would have noticed, how obvious you are.""So kind of you to let me know," not agreeing or denying. "You are telling me this because..." "You are trouble." She says, "Don't think I don't know what happens next, things are gonna get messy again.""Don't they always."She stares back at him, somewhat doubtful, before she says, "Don't take this as me picking a side, but I've already talked to you in a public place, so might as well back you up on this one. I can get you something more. Whoever is moving the pieces surely isn't that hard to find." She finishes her drink. "Then I'm skipping town, till things calm down.""In exchange for what?""First, if you get me mixed up with whatever this is, I expect you to have my back." She says her expression sour, "and when I get back, if anything regarding me comes up, make sure your side is looking the other way.""What are you going to do?""That is for me to know, and you to find out."He is quiet, he knows that look, it is the kind of look that get people killed."Oh, are you going to give me a lecture now? Half the people in this business are in it for a vendetta, you aren't. How is it working out for you?""Hyeri.""The way I see it, you are in way deeper shit than I am." Her tone is cold and flat."It can't look that bad if you are asking to get into it. It's not worth it."She doesn't answer. She won't change her mind, he knows."MI6 doesn't give a shit about you, you get me the name or names of who is puppeteering this thing, and I make sure it stays that way, but I can't guarantee that if you start making noise." He relents. "Don't come looking for me when it all blows up in your face.""I can get you that much." She says. "And if it all goes my way, you won't even hear from me.""We'll see." He says, turning around. "Just don't get in over your head." He doesn't look back as he makes his way through the crowd. ------------- Taemin reaches him in the middle of the dance floor and Kibum wraps his arms around his neck as naturally as he can.He leans in and talks into his ear loud enough to be heard over the music, "You are terrible at tailing.""I wanted you to see me." Taemin responds, pulling him closer by the waist.He lowers the hand he is holding the usb drive with down Taemin's chest and places it in his leather jacket pocket, alongside car keys.
He can feel Taemin's hands tighten on his waist in question."The carpark next door, 6B, grey sedan. If I don't get there in two hours take this to headquarters."Taemin leans back to look at him with a frown.He leans back in, "I have to meet someone else."He attempts to leave, but Taemin holds him in place."The situation has changed," he says into his ear. "Be careful." There is something off about Taemin, and the way he doesn't argue with Kibum is a bit unsettling.He has the impulse to stay and ask, but if Taemin isn't stopping him from going, then he doesn't need to worry about it right now."I won't take long. Stay out of sight." He says, walking towards the door that leads to the back of the house.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
He is thankful for the heavy rain disguising his movements as he steps out of the nightclub; especially now that he is moving so slowly. His clothes are drenched, and they stick uncomfortably to his skin, putting pressure on the bruised part of his leg. It probably makes it look like he is drunk.There is nothing he misses less than getting roughed up. This better be worth it.He makes his way towards the parked car, checking the time on his phone once he is out of the rain.02:36It didn't take as long as he expected, not quite an hour yet. Thankfully, he overestimated this clown, and not the other way around.He takes his jacket off with a bit of a struggle, the worn leather keeping his upper body mostly dry, and opens the passenger door to climb in.Taemin is reclined in the driver's seat, his eyes closed."You done?" He asks, as Kibum drops the drenched jacket into the foot well. The wet plop, incredibly loud in the small space."Yeah." He sounds exhausted, even to his own ears."We have to lie low for a while.""That bad?" Kibum asks, turning towards Taemin.Taemin hums in agreement as he frowns, seeing the state of Kibum's face. He doesn't think he looks that bad, but he hasn't looked at himself yet."I have somewhere we can go." Kibum sighs, trying to dab off water from his face with the collar of his t-shirt without disturbing any of the small cuts. He winces, it will be uncomfortable for a couple of days. "You can fill me in once we are there."Taemin starts the engine, and Kibum inputs an address on the sat nav on his phone and hands it over to Taemin.He spends the ride nodding off, at some point he notices the heater being turned on, but he doesn't open his eyes till he hears the ping of their arrival to the destination."Park wherever, we should ditch this car soon." He says, taking the backpack in the back seat and his jacket.The rain has stopped for the moment, giving way to a dense drizzle.Miserable weather.Kibum covers the backpack with his jacket as he makes his way towards an old apartment building. He doesn't stop to see if Taemin follows him.The light flickers on, as they make their way inside an aging flat on the second floor, Kibum drops on one of the chairs, not concerned about his drenched pants, a thin layer of dust sticking to him no doubt.
He should have had someone come regularly to clean, but it was never meant as a long-term arrangement, not that he hasn't lived in worse places. He is just glad that he remembered to pay the bills."Whose place is this?" Taemin asks, looking around the room."Mine," he answers. "Safe house."The place is mostly bare, nothing but a couple of chairs, a fair sized dining table, and a single gas burner setup on a tiny counter attached to a grimy looking sink on the wall next to the front door, opposite the only window in the room.Taemin doesn't ask or say anything else, moving towards the window to peek through the blinders into the alley below. Seemingly having determined they aren't in any immediate danger, he makes his way to the door that leads to the bedroom.Kibum stares at the wall for a moment, entranced by the mold stain on the wall over the sink, his mind struggling to wind down.Taemin comes back after a while with a first aid kit he doesn't remember seeing before, but that looks just slightly less dusty than everything else in here."You should change your clothes." Taemin says as he sets the box on the table in front of Kibum.Kibum nods absently, spares a glance at the backpack he dropped on the floor earlier, but doesn't make a move. There is a change of clothes he packed in case he needed to make a quick change, along with some medical supplies and a laptop.It can wait."Tell me what is going on first."Taemin swipes some of the dust from the table with what seems to be a wad of toilet roll, happy to ignore him and retreating what he needs from the box."Is this your preferred interrogation technique?" He asks, putting two fingers delicately under his chin to surmise the damage; ignoring his question, "I know you are off your game, but when you interrogate people, you are supposed to beat them up, not the other way around." There is a sharpness to his voice."Funny." He deadpans. "Not really an interrogation though."Taemin smiles, but he looks tense. He turns to drench a cotton ball in disinfectant."So?" Kibum presses again.Taemin still seems reluctant to talk, as he cleans the top of his cheek. "Your place- it got blown up two hours ago.""How?" He frowns."Mid-range projectile from the opposite building. Q branch is working on tracing it," he says, his tone is flat, dettached. "But they didn't clean up after themselves.""Not worried about being found out.""The preliminary report-" Taemin chucks away the cotton ball, "they suspect that it came from MI6's armory.""Fuck." He breathes out, dragging a hand through his wet hair.Taemin's eyes follow the movement.
He takes Kibum's hand and hisses at the red marks on his wrists. His touch, warm against his clammy skin. It grounds him for a moment."Turns out, breaking out of zip-ties..." he says, taking in a deep breath as Taemin rummages through the box, "not like riding a bike.""You don't say." He responds, but his tone doesn't change from that flat, clinical tone. Kibum winces as Taemin rubs ointment on his wrist. He wouldn't have done that, he hates the sticky feeling it leaves behind."They sent you to warn me." Kibum says as Taemin gets started on his other wrist, a statement more than a question.Taemin nods, his hold on Kibum's hand lingers for a moment before he lets go."Are you hurt anywhere else?""Just bruising, I imagine."Taemin busies himself with the medical supplies for a moment after he is done before saying, "there was nothing on the security feed, except for this. It was taped to the security camera round the corner." He takes out his phone with one hand and shows him a photo of a piece of paper, again a list of names, this time of four high ranking operatives of MI6, KEY's paper name 'Kong Kyungsoo' at the top of the page crossed off.Kibum swallows, so these people know his 'real' name, where he lives- lived, and can smuggle weapons out of their armory undetected. He threaded the eye of a needle."Who knows that I am alive?""M sent Minho ahead of a team to 'recover' your body, everyone else was informed of your death." He answers.However small an advantage that is, he doesn't need to worry too much about keeping appearances at headquarters anymore, and sending a 00 to recover a high ranking officer's body shouldn't raise too many eyebrows."Is M going to keep it that way?"He shrugs, looks at him from the crouching position he is in. "Your guess is as good as mine.""What else do we know.""Nothing much." Taemin says, "M has everyone else on the list protected.""They won't come for them," he says absently, "I don't think.""Why?""They are trying to scare us, out of everyone on that list; the Quartermaster was the least exposed, the one no outsider should know about, and they got me."Kibum goes to retrieve the laptop out of his backpack, placing it on the table as Taemin clears out the first aid kit, and boots it up."That should freak everyone out at headquarters. They might be doing something soon, if they haven't set it in motion already.""Is that something we should warn them about?""M would know this as well." He answers. He can't afford to waste any more time."Give me the drive." He says, extending his hand. "I want to sort through this as soon as possible."They've lost so much time as it is.Taemin tosses it to him, but Kibum fails to catch it, he flinches as it drops on his lap, he needs to focus.
Having a more detailed overview of the criminal organizations in the country should help."Sorry." Taemin says."For what?" Kibum asks as he leans down for the drive, where it slipped off his legs onto the floor."Nothing." He says as Kibum turns towards him. There is something off with him; but he doesn't have the presence of mind to deal with it at the moment, whatever it is, it can wait.Most of the structures are probably already known to MI6, but that information is not entirely in his jurisdiction, need to know basis and all. Having a criminal's point of view on it though, is a lot better in his opinion.That is if Hyeri isn't double crossing him. Having something to verify it against would be ideal.It would be risky to send the data directly to headquarters. After all, only a handful of people knew where he lived, and even less that he wouldn't be there tonight. There is no knowing who might get access to it and realize the hit failed.Including Taemin.But Taemin isn't that good an actor, at least since Kibum knows his tells."You should sleep, I'm going to need you to be in your best shape if you are going to stay here.""There is only one bed.""So?""You should sleep too.""I will, as soon as I'm done sorting through this." He says, without looking at him.He plugs in the drive and starts the file transfer.Taemin is still standing there, watching him, so he turns to look at him again.For a moment, it seems like he might want to say something, but in the end, he doesn't; he just turns and walks to the bedroom, throwing a 'yell if you need something.' over his shoulder and closing the door behind him.Keeping a tag on anyone is going to be harder to do now that he doesn't have free access to his resources at HQ. He should probably be extra careful of where he goes, make sure his face doesn't show up on any cameras around the city, he doesn't know which of his resources these people have access to.His hands are shaking slightly, it's not just from the cold, he knows. Now that he doesn't have much to distract him, the discomfort of his drenched clothes is bugging him, he itches to take out the contacts in favor of his glasses. But he doesn't move, the mere thought of making his way to the backpack on the floor by the door seems daunting.It's not just the physical discomfort.It is a larger scale operation than they had suspected.He can have Taemin come and go from headquarters, feed them anything he manages to find out, it wouldn't be strange. The fact that people know they are- were close would just...It should be okay.He paces his breathing, or he tries to; it has been a long time since he has felt this helpless.
There is an itch going all the way down his back and he wishes he could get himself out of these wet clothes.
If only he could get himself to move the couple of steps it would take to get to his backpack.His eyes start to water as his breath picks up, and he thinks of the stupid mug he used to drink coffee out of the mornings he was at his flat, wondering if it had been destroyed in the attack.He hides his face in his knees.It should be okay, he can handle this. He has done this several times before.Just. Start over.This time, it won't even have to be from scratch.He needs a walk, but the thought of having to avoid cameras brings forth another wave of anxiety.He can feel the tears slip down his cheeks, even without blinking. His breath labored. Still, he keeps quiet; something ingrained in him since childhood, that for once, he is grateful for. The last thing he needs is for Taemin to find him like this.He can do this. He has to do this.All he has lost is another one of a nesting doll of fake identities. He should be fine.As the adrenaline subsides, he slowly becomes aware of the various aches in his body. The cut on his lip, his bruised ribs-- all in a distant way, as he focuses on the progress bar on his computer screen.He hates this. Hates it.Tears are still flowing down his cheeks occasionally, and he wipes his runny nose on his sleeve.It should be fine. One thing at a time. It should be fine.The rain pours down harder now, deafening all other sounds from the outside.He lifts his head and looks at his still shaking hands, and the red indents that his nails left behind on his palms.
He should trim them.
His eyes come to focus on the friction burns on his wrists, those will sting for days, he thinks with annoyance, and feels a phantom of the panic that he felt as he failed to get out of the zip ties with ease.
But it is still dull; distant.It is easier to think now.The file transfer has finished, he notes absently.
He should start to go through it.If he could only get himself to move.He feels so stupid.Why couldn't he just have done more before it had got like this?
He knows better.He is so tired.
The moment you admit weakness, you are as good as dead.
The moment you relax, you are as good as dead.There was a reason he was chosen as Q, and he is failing.He brought this on. He is just lucky that he wasn't at his flat tonight.Perhaps his security measures would have been enough to save him. He should check what was triggered and when. It will have to wait until he has access to HQ again.The decoy display on his windows at least must have worked if they think he is dead.He sighs.He let himself get lulled into a false sense of security.
Got carried away by distractions, this is just a byproduct of that.He looks at the closed bedroom door.Distractions.He should leave before Taemin has a chance to notice.Taemin is no good company for him right now. But, the thought of being alone doesn't sit well with him.He draws a line with his finger on the dust settled on the table top.Distractions.He has no clue what their enemy wants, he should know by now. All of it feels strange and chaotic.Fear, confusion.Have they taken what they want already?He draws another line parallel to the first one.But they wouldn't be this loud, or this targeted.He looks back at the screen of his laptop, nothing in there will tell him why, or what the objective of all of this is.
It is only catching up on things he should have already known.Maybe what they want is in headquarters. But they seemingly have free access to the armory, so why can't they just take it?He is too worn out to think of this.This is the second time he slips, or maybe it is one and the same, and he is still sliding, hasn't crashed yet, but he is completely out of control.What got him here isn't just misplaced trust, fantasy, but something more insidious.The hope of something he knows he shouldn't have.He doesn't even know if what Taemin said is true. But even if it is, if he is being kept from something else-- he should contact Onew or Jonghyun directly, but trying to figure out how to do so at the moment is beyond his capabilities.He needs to know more, he doesn't have nearly enough information to know what is going on. But if they wanted him dead, it means that he can find out, perhaps he was getting closer.
The fact that they chose him out of that list, he was not the one with the highest rank or the most visibility, but the one with the most access to sensitive information.Their incentives might not be entirely political.That would rule out S.P.E.C.T.R.E., at least the old one. But it would also open up the search too much, anyone from an information broker, to a weapons merchant.
He is missing something. It is right in front of him; he can feel it, just out of reach of his tired brain.Too many things are beyond him these days. Maybe it is time to start considering retirement, if that is even an option.Maybe he should pay the old Quartermaster a visit. Once this is all over.If he lives long enough to see the end of it.