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/ the starbucks on campus is heaven. its quiet, because it’s in the abandoned block and no one bothers to walk that far for overpriced coffee. it always smells like vanilla - jeongyeon thinks it’s her newest obsession. she pushes the door open. hears the familiar door chime, and breathes in the coffee in the air. the knots in her shoulders are already unfurling, and it’s like her brain cells are coming alive. this is what she needs to survive the next three lectures later, and she walks towards the counter with her usual order at the tip of her tongue -“hi, what can i get you?” the barista asks, smiling. there are stars in her eyes, and jeongyeon forgets how to speak. the usual barista isn’t there - it’s usually this middle aged lady who sometimes gives her free muffins because they’re too many, we can’t sell all of them and jeongyeon always feels better after. but this is a different kind of spell, because her mind doesn’t work and her mouth is dry -“hello?” barista girl waves her hand, eyebrows raised questioningly and jeongyeon snaps out of it. orders her usual, and fights the blush threatening to colour her face. because barista girl has the prettiest shade of blonde hair that makes her look a little like sailor moon, and jeongyeon has never fared well with blondes. she sits at the corner. tries not to stare, because it’s so inappropriate. because it’s like she’s seen those eyes before, somewhere. glimmering with hope. brimming with secrets she would have known about, in another lifetime. but then her feet are moving on autopilot, because her heart screams a cry that deafens even her own logic -“jeongyeon?” her name is called. barista girl turns around, and looks surprised to see jeongyeon already at the counter. her mouth drops open just a little, and jeongyeon doesn’t know what to do about the inexplicable urge to run her thumb across barista girl’s lip. it’s probably soft.she grabs the coffee. holds it with both hands to anchor herself. then spares a glance at barista girl’s name tag - sana. hm. “yes?” the same voice interrupts her internal monologue, because um. jeongyeon blinks. it takes her five seconds to realise that she’d accidentally said sana’s name out loud, and well. “um,” she starts. feels the blush starting to flood her cheeks, and takes a deep breath. “thank you.” the resulting grin on sana’s face makes her stomach wring in the best way possible. then sana winks, and walks back into the storeroom - jeongyeon’s pulse is still pounding in her ears.(exactly seven minutes later, she notices the phone number scribbled cutely on the side of the cup, with a smiley beside it.) / new trainees are always a chore. at this point, jeongyeon doesn’t even know anymore - because everyone’s always leaving. it’s also why she hasn’t been going for practice for the past week, because their debut has, once again, been pushed back. indefinitely. something about them not being ‘ready’ despite practicing for twelve hours straight seven days a week, and jeongyeon’s not sure if she can do this anymore.so when nayeon texts her about this new trainee from japan who has hamster cheeks, jeongyeon doesn’t think much of it, until they finally meet in the practice room.(she regrets it.)sana is different. it takes all of them sometime to adjust. everyone warms up to the new addition, and it’s like jeongyeon’s the only one who refuses to open her heart. maybe it’s because sana’s the first foreigner to enter their group, and jeongyeon doesn’t know how to be around her. they can’t really communicate, and it gets exhausting when the trainers go off on them because it takes sana a longer time to understand instructions. it’s not her fault, but it’s still something the selfish part of jeongyeon doesn’t want to deal with.one day, she comes back late. teenage rebellion doesn’t sit well with her, but jeongyeon knows it’s the only outlet she has. the light in the last room is still on, and she sees sana hunched over a couple of books. scribbling something furiously, way past their bedtime. then she hears the other girl mumbling, and realises that sana’s practising her korean. her feet don’t move. she doesn’t understand why. the guilt is a vine that tightens over her chest, and jeongyeon feels like a piece of shit. because this is just another girl, who’d left everything behind just to chase her dream. like her own. and who’s she to think that sana’s an extra burden to carry? then sana looks up at her, and jeongyeon sees the windows in her eyes shut. she bows quickly, packing up her books. moves to turn off the lights, but jeongyeon’s faster. already has a hand on the light switch, and sana backs away.“goodnight,” she says. in japanese, because she’d actually paid attention in the language classes they were forced to attend. swallows the rest of the words she wants to say, because she’s never been good at expressing herself. and sana might not understand it anyway, so it’s just pointless embarrassment. jeongyeon bows. looks at sana one last time, and - the windows in her eyes open. slowly, but surely. cautious. there’s a glimpse of a spark, and then it’s a whole flash of neon light that blinds jeongyeon, because sana beams so brightly and jeongyeon doesn’t breathe. “goodnight.” it’s said in awkward korean, and jeongyeon can’t fight off the smile that stretches across her face. (that night, she dreams of stars so bright - they ward off her darkest demons.) / it’s snowing. it’s beautiful. the entire driveway is covered in white, and sana’s staring out of the window. there’s nothing but the gentle snowfall, and it’s enough to make her fingers tingle in anticipation.she waits. watches the soft descent of the crystalline snowflakes, as they disappear into the ground. thinks about making snow angels. a few more minutes, maybe, she checks her phone -any time now. the oven chimes, and sana turns. breathes in the scent of freshly baked cookies, and thinks about stealing some first. but she’d promised to wait, and she’s not about to break promises anytime soon. her phone buzzes. she grabs it without hesitation. glances at the text briefly and jumps up, squealing. grabs her coat and looks out of the window -there’s a girl at the edge of the driveway, walking slowly. there are snowflakes in her hair. some of them melt, and some don’t, but sana thinks she looks beautiful either way. just like she has always been. even from the distance, she looks weathered - but this is a day of celebration, and sana will not cry.the girl trudges on, leaving behind footprints sana doesn’t want to remember. each one is a story of heartbreak and tears behind the most courageous decision she’d ever made, but there are no regrets - at the end of the day, home is where the heart is. charlie barks, tail wagging, already waiting at the door. because even he knows, after all these years. sana laughs. scratches his ears. throws on her coat, and runs out of the house barefoot - the snow is biting. she doesn’t care. because she’s so, so happy, and her vision tunnels to only the girl hurrying towards her. every step is a minute less spent worrying, and sana finally, finally sees her up close -she jumps. screams with joy as the other girl catches her, like she always has. wraps her in the tightest hug, and it’s like she can’t breathe. because jeongyeon is finally home, and sana doesn’t know how to believe it.“hi,” there are lips on her cheek. the tip of jeongyeon’s nose is red. and also ice cold, but sana welcomes it. because it’s only another reminder that it’s real, that this isn’t one of her dreams, and that she’s not going to wake up to an empty bed anytime soon. “hi,” she whispers, suddenly afraid. doesn’t want the jeongyeon in front of her to dissolve in the snow. digs her fingers into the lapels of jeongyeon’s jacket, and doesn’t think she has it in her to let go any time soon -“it’s okay,” jeongyeon whispers, equally soft. “i’m back home now, for real.” kisses her hair. kisses every inch of sana’s face until she believes it. until the void in her heart is finally filled. until there is nothing more than each other.they stay there, in the freezing cold, but sana thinks she has never felt warmer. /
