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Everything was always too loud. The smallest actions amplified by the volume of busybodies constantly moving and weaving between and past one another. LA was nothing like Miami but all too familiar at the same time. The heat didn’t quite cling to your skin like the dampness of Florida but it remained none the less. She always found herself lost in headphones trying to block the rest of the city out as she moved about the days activities, which as of late have only consisted of frantic pacing, excessive trips to the local coffee shop down the block, and banging her head against the sliding glass door of her seventh story apartment trying to hammer out some resemblance of a melody. The last few weeks have been a tornado of anxiety awaiting a text or call from her manager, literally knocking over anything in her way when the device buzzed impatiently on the counter only to find an encouraging message or update from her mother or Sophi. She never really answered past a thank you and a smile, never having the heart to tell them she was practically drowning in the thick exhaust and praying she didn't run into any particularly sketchy characters on her way to the mailbox. When she originally thought of moving to the big city her imagination was filled with dreams of the perfect crisp white walls of her very first apartment. Large windows flooding the rooms with natural light overlooking the beach or large LA skyline. Her life would be filled with interesting people who played every instrument under the sun and created beautiful pieces of art that people awed over in galleries and sobbed and laughed in the theaters. She would go out every night and spent her days in the studio writing her first album, doing interviews, and meeting with big record executives pouring over every detail until everything was perfect.Nothing prepared her for the exposed brick that covered the wall behind her faded deep green pull out bed that doubled as a couch during the daylight hours and, if we were being honest, into most nights as she found herself with little motivation to bother pulling it out at all. The kitchen bled into the living room/bedroom, in fact, the only walls were the four enclosing the studio apartment and the ones that allowed privacy to the bathroom. When she first moved the few things she did manage to bring to LA she convinced her self she was lucky to have a door on the bathroom at all trying to find the silver lining and luxury in the experience but these days she doesn't see the point as no one ever comes over or visits. She found herself lost in a daydream of expensive champagne in crystal glasses somewhere on the beach at sunset when someone behind her began shouting at her. “HEY! HEY! Are you gonna go or what?!” She jumped slightly at the harshness in his tone, pulled out an earphone shooting him a glare, and taking a step toward the counter where the barista quirked a thin eyebrow at her expectantly if not impatiently. She studied her a moment getting distracted by the contrast of her bright red lipstick against her naturally tanned skin before turning her attention toward the menu. “Ummm just a double tall latte.” She mumbled to the girl who began scribbling on the plastic cup and tapping it down to the counter for someone else to pick up.She handed the girl a few crumpled dollars and moved to take a spot near the opposite end of the counter to wait for her coffee and study the girl making her drink. She moved swiftly and was able to stretch far across the counter to retrieve supplies despite her short wingspan. Unlike the taller girl behind the register, the one in front of her peeked over 5’1” on a good day with long light brown hair pulled into a high swaying ponytail and a naturally pleasant look as if she genuinely enjoyed making coffee all day. She began dancing around to a song in her head as she wrapped up what she assumed was her latte when a familiar buzzing sent her digging frantically into her pockets. Just as she managed to free the device it fumbled harshly onto the tile sending the girl diving to the ground.“DOUBLE TALL LATTE AT THE BAR!” She shot up quickly thumping the top of her head on the bottom of the counter and let out a harsh growl rubbing the top of her head. The barista looked at her wide-eyed and then apologetically before offering her a small smile and sliding the coffee closer. Somewhere in the distance, she heard harsh barks of hello before realizing she must have answered the call at some point during the accident. “Yes! Hello, sorry I’m here.” She grabbed at the coffee absentmindedly and stepped back slightly from the counter.“About time. Cabello right? Camila?” The voice on the other end sounded as if he were burdened by the simple act of picking up the phone as the sound of shuffling papers played in the background.“Ya-yes that's me.” She stumbled. “It's your manager Peter. Listen I got some bad news kid Epic Records wants to go a different direction so they’ve decided to let you go.” “They what? I didn’t know they were considering me…” “They weren’t. Its part of our agency to send out your demo to as many companies as we can and Epic is the only one who even bothered writing us back.”“I uh…” It seemed like all of the air was trapped in her lungs and her words stung her throat making everything come out hoarse and jagged. She felt tears begin to threaten the corners of her eyes and she turned her heel to escape to the confines of her apartment before a scene could be made never daring to look up from her dirty shoelaces dragging on the ground.“Yea listen you might want to figure something else out. We can try again in a few months, of course, it will cost you abou-“The voice was suddenly interrupted as the phone made its second kiss to the tile and the unfamiliar warmth of coffee splashed down the front of her jeans. Just as she moved to step away the sole of her shoe slipped on the fallen coffee and sent her crashing to the ground before being suspended mere inches from its surface. She hadn’t even realized her eyes had been shut so tight until they opened slowly, releasing the panicked wrinkles that formed around them. When she managed to focus a tall figure stood over her. The stranger blinked a few times staring back at her with concern clouding her emerald eyes framed by dark perfectly manicured eyebrows pinched together as she seemed to search over the disheveled girl. Her black hair seemed to play in the light reminding Camila of a ravens feathers dancing in the sun and making her emerald eyes impossibly bright. They both seemed to snap out of the trance and realize the stranger was still gripping on tightly to the front of her shirt, stretching the cotton fabric while the other clung to her wrist.“Hey, are you uh are you okay?” The dark haired girl mumbled pulling Camila the rest of the way from the ground, allowing herself to be used as support to get her back on her feet.Camila quickly noted the slight height difference between the two of them. The stranger was only an inch or so taller than herself but she seemed to tower, with leather-clad shoulders held back and back straight with confidence in posture. “Ummm yea thanks I was just-“ She broke off before realizing her previous activity and quickly scanned the floor for the forgotten phone. “Oh! Here.” The taller girl scooped down and retrieved the device from under a small sofa nearby and handed it to her.If Peter had anything useful to say it was lost to the couch cushions as the screen displayed an intricate pattern of shattered glass and darkness. She cursed under her breath and held a hand to her forehead before sighing and closing her eyes again with tears closer in tow than before.“Hey ummm I’m sorry about your phone I didn’t see you I just kind of turned around and you were just kind of there…” The stranger seemed to become increasingly uncomfortable with Camila’s rising emotion and began to ramble to fill the space between them. Not sure if she should leave the girl be or make sure she wasn’t going to take a dive off the Hollywood sign.She opened her eyes again only now noticing the large brown stain that covered a majority of the green-eyed girl's shirt, “Oh my god I am so sorry!”Her words seemed to relax the other girl as she canvassed herself in confusion just now noticing the stain herself. She let out a soft chuckle that surprisingly washed over Camila’s nerves and caused her to drop her hands from where they hid her face. “Ummm don’t even worry about it I have a million of these.” The stranger flashed her a brilliant smile that the infected the other girl sending the corner of her own soft pink lips curving into a wide smile.“I’m such a klutz,” Camila replied and shook her head lightly sending the few rogue strands of dark brown hair that managed to work their way out of the bun positioned at the top of her head bouncing from side to side. This earned another smile and even a light laugh from the raven-haired girl, “Is everything okay?”Camila looked up into the bright green eyes attentive and waiting and she found herself wanting to confide in them before thinking better of herself than to release all of the last nine months of stress on a perfect stranger, “Yea. Yea I’ll be okay.”
She returned a small smile and diverted her gaze back to the faded brown tiles not sure who she was trying to convince more, the girl in front of her or herself.“Well at least let me buy you another cup of coffee.” The taller girl replied craning down slightly to catch Camila’s eye.She quickly shot her gaze up to those green eyes in surprise. Never once had anyone in LA offered her anything. Not even a smile or an open door but here was this beautiful stranger who saved her from a sure concussion and offering to buy her coffee neither she was sure she couldn’t afford if not offered. The green-eyed girl took the others slack-jawed expression for a yes and extended her hand to the brown-haired girl, “Lauren.” She hated simply.Camila managed to pick her jaw off the floor and connect her hand with Lauren’s.“Lauren,” She repeated as if it were a new word entirely. Trying it out on her tongue and letting it float in the air between them.“And you are…?” Lauren drawled eagerly awaiting the other girl's introduction. The smaller one seemed to be full of surprises and she was starting to get worried she might have dropped her for a split second before she began to recover.“Camila!” She said a bit too quickly and squeezed onto Lauren’s a bit tighter before releasing it completely, “My name is Camila.”She gave her a charming half-cocked grin that sent her heart sputtering and quirked up a single eyebrow, “Well then Camila, what can I get you to drink?”
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She drummed her fingers patiently against the thick ceramic mug while studying the small girl in front of her. Not that she was short by any means she stood maybe an inch lower than Lauren but was sure they would stand even if barefoot. It wasn’t her height that made her small but the dark circles that stained the skin under her eyes and faded into her pale cheeks. It was the way her shoulders and knees crashed together as she sunk into the colossal faded cushions of the ragged chair. The way her dark brown eyes refused to meet her own rather darting from one ridiculous painting that hung obscurely along the tattered coffee shop walls to another. “That phone call seemed pretty important.” Camila hummed in response but no reply came to the statement. She quirked a dark brow at her silence and began to sip her own coffee, “You aren’t from here are you?”This brought the brown eyed girls attention back as her eyes flickered to Lauren’s for a moment before retreating to the foamy swirls crashing and molding into each other every time her wrist gave a small turn, “No I’m not.” The raven-haired girl nodded as her assumptions were validated. She had seen enough people waltz into LA with big smiles and big dreams only to be spit on and beaten before climbing on to the nearest Grey Hound out of here to know when someone doesn’t belong. She decided to quickly change the subject, “I killed a man once.”Camila choked mid sip on her coffee, threatening to spill its contents all over her lap once again and stared at Lauren with wild eyes. But she the dark haired girl simply sat calmly and sipped her own beverage without any notion she had said anything at all. “Wha- what?” The brown-eyed girl stammered.“Oh, yea he had it comin.” She nodded to herself and continued in an even tone, “took the last blueberry muffin can you believe that?” She scoffed and shook her head before turning her attention back to her coffee.Camila’s jaw hung open as she searched the other girls face for any hint of sarcasm but she remained stoic making the girl wonder if she had heard her wrong and it was simply a hysterical misunderstanding. While Lauren was the first person to offer her any sort of kindness she had been in LA just long enough to learn never to trust anyone's outward appearance for their true demeanor, “Over- O- Over a muffin?”“Yep right over there.” She raised her eyebrows and slightly bowed her mug to the place the shorter girl had been standing moments ago waiting for her coffee.She looked back and forth between the edge of the counter and the girl across from her before Lauren’s full lips finally curled into a wide smile behind her mug. A soft giggle grew into a wild laugh as Camila’s expression turned from terror to anger and resolving in a small smile and she began laughing her self. She wasn’t sure why she was laughing but it felt like the first time her vocal cords had vibrated at this frequency in ages.Camila reached up and released her long hair from its loose bun sending waves of chocolate curls splashing over her shoulders. She ran boney fingers through the thick strands, giving her bangs a shake that didn’t do much besides move the locks from her eyes and take Lauren’s breath away. They finally both calmed down and she started again “If you could go on a space expedition to any planet and claim it as your own which one would you land on?”Camila’s eyebrows knit together in contemplation, the question seeming to fit comfortably into their interaction while nowhere in their conversation. Not that it had been much of one. After a few beats, she sets her coffee onto the short table between them that seemed to be just a flat board on top of stacks of old paperback mystery novels. “Pluto.”“Pluto?” She nods leaning back in the chair, “Its the furthest away.” “It's also the coldest.” “I would bring a sweater.” This earned another chuckle from the raven-haired girl, “You can’t wear sweaters in space.”“You never said anything about the advancement in technology. If I have the means to travel to Pluto I can wear a sweater.” She pointed toward Lauren with conviction as she kicked a leg over the other and sinking back into the cushions. Lauren smirked, “Well technology can’t be that far along if you’re the first person to claim it.”“What are you trying to say!” Camila leaned forward her voice jumping an octave in defense, “And where would you go exactly?”Lauren brought the coffee to her lips and took another sip before answering, “Nowhere.” She shrugged and took another sip.“Nowhere?” She squinted her eyes at the green-eyed girl incredulously, “You could go anywhere, to any place, in the entire universe, and claim it as your own, and you would go nowhere?” “The idea of space is suffocating.” “Suffocating!” She felt her voice rising but Lauren didn’t budge, “Space is infinite! It's massive. The universe is ever expanding to lengths that we could never reach. It is vast for farther than our eyes will ever see and in all of that space you would feel suffocated?” “Exactly.” She threw back the rest of her latte and rested it next to Camila’s, “Space is just darkness. It's like sitting at the bottom of the ocean but instead of water when you look up all you see are shadows being cast by nothing. Going to space would be the equivalent of being stranded on an island in the middle of the Atlantic and I want no part of it.”Camila sat just staring at the girl as she rose to her feet. Lauren slipped her arms into the leather sleeves of her jacket Camila following her lead still caught off guard by the girl's answer. The brown haired girl had always seen the stars as opportunities. Small sparks of life she could always count on to be burning far in the distance making her feel less and less alone the longer she gazed at them. She couldn’t imagine looking up and feeling as though she were drowning in their presence. In her daze ,she hadn’t even noticed the taller girl making her way out of the shop and leaving her standing next to their now abandoned seats.“Wait!” She called out but her muscles gave no hint at moving toward the girl. Lauren turned for a moment that Camila found herself breaking down by the second. She reached the door and pulled its rusted handle allowing the sunset to stream past her tall figure, the orange rays causing shadows to fall over her face and light up her eyes that danced with Camila’s for a moment before offering her a small smile and disappearing into the street.
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Camila is a ghost. Haunting the gloomy apartment, pacing back and forth, strumming a lost cause. She broke her back on a dream, and now what?Camila had been sitting on her futon for god knows how long. Staring at the stained exposed brick, her mind tracing over the evening's events. The phone call that ended her career before it began, the girl that stopped her heart before it had ever started, and the dream she thought she had achieved before she opened her eyes. All of it disappeared in a static line, a sun-filled door frame, and a six-hour plane ride to LA. So what now? A thunderous knock on the sliding metal door to her apartment drags her thoughts. Furiously wiping her eyes she gets up before sliding open the large metal door revealing a tall thin boy with thick dark hair pushed down by a red baseball cap and deep brown eyes.“I have a large pepperoni pizza with bacon for a-,” he drags out the syllable and glances down at the order ticket before meeting her eyes with a smile, “Camila Cabello?”“That's me.” The words rattle out of her chest with a limp smile. She fishes out a twenty and hands it over.He starts rifling through his fanny pack for a few ones before she cuts him off, “Don’t worry about it, keep the change.”He arches an eyebrow glancing back at her disheveled closet of an apartment, “Are you sure?”Her lips stay pressed tightly together as her eyes fall to the floor with a small nod.“Hey, are you okay? Not to be nosey or whatever but you look rough.” He doesn’t hide the survey of her appearance but the concern resting in his eyes seems genuine. She lets out a resigned sigh, “No not really, I lost something- well er, a lot of things. I lost a lot of things today.”He seemed to ponder for a moment on the water stain above Camila’s kitchen, “Well, can you get it back?” Dark eyes brows knit together in consideration, could you get something back that wasn’t yours? Could you find one woman in a city of millions?, “I don’t know.”“Have you tried?”She seemed to deflate even further if possible, “Ummm no, I’ve been umm, sat on the couch.”He peeks further behind her small frame to take in the faded green futon covered unceremoniously in sheets and blankets, “Can I give you some advise Camila?“I uh, sure.” What could she have to lose?“You have to try. Pick one thing and give it everything you got.”“I thought I already had.” Her gaze cast down to the marbled cement floor.“Well then, I guess it’s time to pick a new dream,” He whips a pen from his shirt pocket and scribbles down a phone number, “Let me know when you’re ready to come out of the closet Cabello.”With a wink he turns down the hall out of sight, leaving her staring at the crumbled receipt, “Thanks, Joe.”—————With her light blue blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a piece of pizza hanging from her mouth, she begins pacing the floor once more. A new dream. A new dream.A small piece of bacon sways on a rope of cheese as she makes another lap from the door to the window facing a brick building larger than her own. The life of a musician wasn’t quite as bright as they made it out to be. She could keep pounding the pavement and knocking down the doors of labels who are obviously uninterested. She could start at the beginning but she didn’t even know where that was anymore. She was stranded somewhere in the middle of a race she thought she had already won. She stops and stares at the silhouette adorning the window just opposite of her own. The dull light filtering around her as she adjusts her hair in a perfect bun reminding her faintly of the dazzling light that lit up the greenest eyes she had ever seen. Maybe a new beginning was exactly what she needed. Shoving the last of the pizza in her mouth she shrugs off her blanket and begins tugging on her favorite and only pair of shoes. At home, her closet was bright and cheerful with glittery scarves and obnoxiously large bows, but she only had enough money for one checked bag and the furniture she scavenged from estate sales to start her new life. LA seemed worth it at the time. She stopped for a moment in front of the clouded bathroom mirror, running her hands through her tangled curls and blotting on some life saving under eye cream that kept her from crossing the thin line of sleep-deprived into walking dead status. In the blink of an eye, she was out the door and down the six flight of stairs to the street. The breeze was cool on her skin but the hot air still dragged on into the night and if Miami prepared her for anything in LA, it was the weather. The bell above the door of the coffee shop rings and a glaring barista pauses her sweeping as the sound echos off the walls of the empty shop. “Errr umm hey there, I know you’re closing but-““But what?” The tanned barista snarled, her light hair falling in pieces around her eyes.“Dinah, relax,” The shorter barista from earlier appeared around the corner with a small smile, “How can we help you?”“Umm, I’m sorry I know you’re closing-““Exactly.” Camila starts to ponder the repercussions of turning around without another word any never returning before quickly deciding there wasn’t a coffee shop close enough to back out now.She sucked in a tight breath and closed her eyes, “I was wondering if you knew the girl I was talking to earlier.”There was nothing but silence as the two baristas exchanged glances and Camila opened her eyes one by one, a crushing weight settling on her chest. What if they didn’t know either? How many people did they see in a day? Dozens? Hundreds? “She uh- she had green eyes and Ummm, dark hair,” She starts picking at the bottom of her tank top, the weight of the silence almost crushing her entirely on the spot.With one last look, the smaller one finally breaks, “We know who you’re talking about.”Oh, thank god. “Aly! You can’t just go around saying you know people. What if she is a stalker!”“Ummm I’m right here and I’m not looking for her in like a weird way or anything,” She took a breath and tries to calm her nerves, “We were talking earlier and she left before I could get her name. I was just wondering if you knew where I could find her.”Dinah shoots a warning at Aly who either completely ignores it or doesn’t see it at all, “Her name is Lauren.” She takes the few steps toward Camila pulling out a Sharpie and scribbling on a coffee cup sleeve, “She hangs out at this club a lot,” Aly starts to hand a desperate Camila the piece of cardboard before pulling it quickly back, “But, I should warn you its a bit of a rough joint.”Camila reaches and quickly takes the information from between her fingers, “I can handle it.”