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December 8th, 1979
Lily sighed, putting her head in her hands. She wished they weren’t in the middle of a war. She wished she was older, that this wasn’t happening now. She wished for more time with her parents, for good times with her sister. But she wouldn’t change it. Not even if it might be the hardest thing she’s ever had to do.
She got off of the bathroom counter with a hop, tossing the tiny stick in the trash. Though she knew there were magical pregnancy tests out there somewhere, she felt more comfortable with a muggle one. She knew what to expect from a muggle one.
She glanced into the trash one more time before leaving the bathrooms, eyes
latching onto those two little lines. She placed a protective hand on her stomach. Her stomach that was still normal, not showing any changes, even though something, someone, within it was changing very rapidly.
Lily walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen at the same time as James. She padded over in socked feet to him, wrapping her arms around his torso and pressing herself up onto her toes so she could reach his mouth. “Good morning,” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss onto his lips.
“Good morning, Mrs. Potter. Have I mentioned yet that I’m not ever going to be sick of saying that? Because I’m not.” He grinned and spun her in a circle before releasing her and walking over to the toaster. Popping in three slices, he asked, “and how’s your morning been so far?”
Lily bit her lip. If she was going to tell him, now would be the time. She sucked in a deep breath and steeled herself for his reaction. It was going to be fine, she scolded herself. You’re married. He loves you. He wants kids!
Unconcerned by her silence, James filled the pause. “So, Remus is going to be infiltrating Greyback’s pack next. He’ll have to be undercover pretty long for-“
“I’m pregnant.” The words fell from her lips, a heavy confession, but she now feels lighter than she has in a long while. She glanced down at her lap, and then back up at James, measuring his reaction.
James’ hand drifts up to his hair and he begins to run his hand through it. A nervous habit, Lily thinks ruefully. It’s okay, she knows she’s had more time to process this than him, and he’s allowed to just react however he needs to.
Apparently that’s all he needs to do. He drops his hand with a 50 megawatt smile, stuffing his hands into his pockets and rocking back onto his heels like a little boy. “Really?”
“Really,” she confirms, smiling as she watches him take it all in.
“When did you- how long have you- how far are you- do you know the gender-“
She laughs at his rapid fire questions. “I took the test this morning. I think I’m about 4 weeks along. I don’t know the gender.”
Moving forward slowly, he reaches out his hands towards her stomach and then waits for her nod of confirmation before gently placing them on her abdomen.
“Wow,” he breathes softly, so gently Lily is drawn close to the tears she thought she was done with twenty minutes ago. “There’s a little human inside you.
Our
little human inside you.”
“Yep. That’s the one,” she laughs and places his hand closer to where the baby is slowly growing. “Right here.”
“That’s so crazy.” Seeing her raised eyebrow, he clarifies. “In a good way! In a good way. I’ve always wanted a big family. Just never thought I’d start so soon,” he adds absently. They share a melancholic look. Both of them know the war has sped things up, made them move more quickly. They would be happy for this child either way, but at 21, they are so young. Young and scared. Scared you-know-who might win and the child they bring into this world will come into a world full of hate instead of the love he was conceived with. Scared they might not get the chance to be parents, they might be killed before he’s born, or after he’s born, leaving him alone.
But still, through all that, James and Lily were hopeful. They were gryffindors to the core, and had bravery and loyalty to spare. They knew that good would triumph in the end and the world would become good again, but they didn’t know what it would take to get there, or how long it would take to get there.
They didn’t want to bring a child into a world of hate, and they were going to do everything they could to prevent that from happening.
Lily looked into James’ eyes then and knew he’d do anything for their child. Anything in the world. And she knew she’d do the same. She felt the tears finally spilling over, her pent up anxiety and anger and happiness flowing out in one loud sob.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, we’ll be okay,” James said, pulling her into a hug and rubbing her back soothingly. “I promise,” he said thickly, as she felt wetness splash onto the back of her shirt. “I promise everything will be okay.”
“How can you know, though?” She sobbed angrily. “How can you know?”
“Because people are good. It’s the one thing I know. As a rule, people are good.”
She heaved a shaking breath. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay. I believe you. But it’s only because you make me blueberry pancakes when you don’t even like blueberries.”
His mood lifted, James extricated himself from her grasp, pretending to be offended. “I do not! I like blueberries!”
“Like hell you do, you make a weird face every time you eat one, like each berry has personally offended you.”
“Well- I- this is slander! Straight up slander I tell you!” He huffed and stood, still making a show of it as her laughing eyes followed him up.
“Fine,” she said, rising from her chair and moving into the kitchen. “Let’s make some and you can prove it to me then!”
“Alright let’s go!”
And on that morning, the kitchen was filled with light and laughter.
October 31st, 1981
All people weren’t good, James thought as he frantically leaped to his feet and dashed into the hall. Peter wasn’t good. James has thought he was, thought he was good enough to trust but it turned out he hadn’t been any good at all.
“Lily, go! Take Harry and run, I’ll hold him off!” He ran into the hallway and face to face with a nightmare. “Fuck,” he cursed. He didn’t have his wand. As Voldemort raised his wand and said the words, the last two thoughts in James Potter’s head were, in this order;
Not all people are good.
I hope Lily got Harry out.
“Shh, shh baby it’s alright,” Lily tried to sooth her fussing child from across the room as she stacked furniture against the door. Moving over to his crib, she picked him up. “It’s alright, I’m here.”
BANG. The door flew open. Terrified but still holding steady, Lily backed up in front of the crib and placed Harry in it behind her. She pleaded with him, begged him, but Voldemort only told her to move, and sneered when she didn’t.
As Voldemort raised his wand and said the words, the last two thoughts in Lily Potter’s head were, in this order;
James, you broke your promise. They aren’t all good.
Not my baby, not my Harry.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
February 11th, 1980Sirius was supposed to be meeting James for drinks at the Leaky Cauldron. He glanced around suspiciously (they were at war, after all) and slouched down lower in his seat, sighing as he went. He was tired. They had been fighting for so long, and he had just learned Remus was going to be going undercover with Greyback’s pack. Running through his mind were two things: one, that yes, he trusted and loved Remus, but no one was completely immune to the influence of Greyback and his pack and two, that Remus was, at his core, a good person. Sirius wasn’t naive, he knew people weren’t all good. But he also knew that his friends were some of the damn best he ever got to meet. Especially Remus. He was so selfless. Sirius knew worry was irrational when it was about Remus, but still, he felt a niggling fear. “Right mate, what are we having?” an extremely cheerful James fell into the seat beside him, pulling him into an enthusiastic hug. Sirius hugged back, amused and confused.“You seem to be a high level of pleased for the circumstances.”“Well,” James said, looking around conspiratorially. “I’ve got some good news.” Sirius raised his brows. Good news was in short supply at the moment, and James had recently been taking the burden of the war almost harder than the other marauders. It wasn’t that he was necessarily more naive than Sirius, but he hadn’t grown up the way Sirius did. James had a very rose-colored view of the world, created by his parents and helped along by his time in Hogwarts. The war had, of course, diminished it, but James was still an idealistic person to the core. Sirius, raised by his lovely mother and father, did not have the same idealistic core as James. He sometimes wished he could be more like James; it seemed nice, not to assume the worst of people, but he was who he was for a reason, and he and James often helped to balance each other out. However, it meant it was sometimes harder for James to bear the bad than it was for Sirius. “Alright, let’s have it then.”James gestured him up and out of the booth. “Let’s go somewhere else. This isn’t the best news for everyone else’s ears,” James said, almost pushing him out of the Leaky Cauldron into the deepening dusk of muggle London. “C’mon, I’ll side-along you back to our place.”“Okay! Jeez, this is some heavy stuff then? I thought you said it was good news!” Sirius half protested as James grabbed him in preparation to apparate. “No no, it’s definitely good, but you’re just gonna have to wait a minute.” With that, James spun, pulling Sirius along with him. They landed and stumbled, coming to a halt in front of the door of James and Lily’s Godric’s Hollow home. “Come on Sirius,” James said as he impatiently tugged Sirius inside.“We’re pregnant!” Lily shouted, in his face almost as soon as Sirius had gotten in the door. “Well, I’m pregnant, and I’m the one that’s going to be doing all the painful parts, but I guess he helped a little bit.” She smiled over at James, who half scowled, but mostly laughed as he pulled her into a hug.“Ta-da!” He said, looking at Sirius, who was still standing shell shocked by the door. “Here’s the good news!”Sirius’ shocked face broke into a smile. “This is insane! I’m so happy for you two! Awwww, and to think it all began with Red here practically spitting in your face and saying she didn’t want anything to do with you ever! It’s a goddamn romance for the ages!”Lily rolled her eyes and smiled, shaking her head. “I didn’t find him that reprehensible. Just like, a little bit.”“Enough to produce a child with me, boo YAH!” James punched the air while Sirius started laughing.“Hate to break it to ya mate, but reprehensible is not a good thing.”Proudly, James straightened his glasses. “Pfft, I knew that, but it must have become a good thing at some point because, once again, that’s MY child in there!” he said, pointing at Lily’s stomach.Lily laughed and raised an eyebrow. “James, YOUR child?”“No! No, no, OUR child. Though you’re definitely doing like, the entire first part.”“Alright guys,” Sirius interrupted, “This is getting sappy, so I’m gonna need details now.”“It’s a boy! Nah, I’m just kidding, we aren’t going to know the gender for a few more months.” James said, as Lily jabbed him in the side. “Hey!”“No jokes, this is important” Lily turned back to Sirius. “I found out about two months ago, and I’m due in July or August. Aaaand that’s about all we know.”“So you won’t know the gender until…” Sirius counted on his fingers, “April?”“Yup. James says he isn’t biased, but it’s clear he wants a boy.”“Hey! I just think a boy with your hair would look so adorable! That’s all.”Sirius smiled at their squabbling. “Well, I am so happy for you two, but it’s late, and I need to be getting home to Remus. He’s leaving next week to go be with Greyback’s pack, and I can tell it’s wearing on him.”“Oh! Of course.” Lily smiled sadly at him. “Don’t tell him about this quite yet, please. He’s coming over tomorrow to say goodbye to us and we wanted to tell him then.”“No problem Red, I think I can keep a secret for one night,” Sirius said as James scoffed. “Hey! You got a problem with me?”“Nah, but if you think you can keep a secret...all I’m saying is I want some of whatever you’re smoking.”“Very funny James. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going home. Where I won’t talk about babies!” Sirius blew a raspberry at James and hugged Lily as he left.Lily slumped against James. “We forgot to ask him to be the godfather.”“It’s okay Lils, we can do it tomorrow. We’ll just have Remus bring him,” James said, hugging her before leading her up to their room. “C’mon, we should get some rest.”As James drifted off that night he heard Lily mumble, half asleep. “Wha wasat?” he said, rubbing his eyes.“Just that, you’re right. Sirius is good, most people are.”“I’m always right,” he mumbled, and he heard Lily laugh as they both drifted off.October 31st, 1981Sirius surveyed the wreckage of the once-beloved home of two of his best friends in the world. He blinked once, twice, tears running down his face and dropping to his feet. The house was demolished, a giant hole blasted in the roof. Something had obviously gone terribly wrong. “No no no no no no, they’re fine, pull yourself together Black,” he muttered angrily at himself, marching up the path to the front door.There, his courage failed him. He stood still for a second, suspended between his fears and the reality of the situation. Finally, he went in.Immediately, Sirius dropped to his knees, his head spinning. The world crumbled under him, he was falling, falling, falling until- “Prongs?” He croaked out, scrambling over to his best friend, his brother, grabbing his shirt, tears falling. “Prongs? Hey, no, you’re okay, you’re okay-” Voice catching on a sob, he knelt over the dead body of the liveliest man he’d ever known. A second sobbing voice joined Sirius, and he quieted, lifting his head until, “Oh merlin, Lily and Harry”.Sirius scrambled up, taking the stairs two at a time, pausing when he reached the nursery door. Steeling himself, Sirius took a deep breath and entered. “Fuck, Harry, Lily,” Sirius wept as he dropped to Lily’s side. “Oh Evans, Red, wake up, Harry needs you.” Because by then, Sirius had realized that the second crying voice accompanying his own was Harry, his godson.Sirius staggered up, approaching Harry’s crib. “Harry…” He whispered, picking him up and holding him close. “Oh, Harry.”Sirius stumbled out of the house, holding Harry close to his chest. Muggles were beginning to gather around the perimeter, but none had broached the yard yet. Sirius continued to walk, zombie-like, over to his motorbike, when he was intercepted by a rather large figure. Bristling, he looked up. “Oh,” Sirius said, dropping his wand and relaxing his grip on Harry slightly, “it’s only you.”“Hello there, Sirius,” Hagrid said, a sad slump to his posture. “I have orders ‘ere from Dumbledore I’m to bring him the boy.”Sirius pulled Harry closer to himself protectively, before slumping, and gently passing him to Hagrid. “You can take my bike, Hagrid. Take good care of my godson.”Blinking rapidly, as he hadn’t quite expected Sirius to give up that easily, Hagrid took hold of Sirius, watching at he strode off into the night, filled with purpose once more. “And just where do ya think yer going, Black?”Calling back over his shoulder, Sirius answered readily. “I’ve got a rat to find.” As he cleared the crowd and turned to apparate, he whispered to himself. “Turns out all of us weren’t good.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
February 12th, 1980Remus rushed around the flat, looking for his cloak while Sirius lounged by the door. “Sirius, have you seen my cloak anywhere, I could’ve sworn it was by the door but now I just-”“Babe, have you checked our closet? I thought you hung it up in there last night.” Sirius called down the hallway to where Remus was, inexplicably, rummaging in the cabinet under the sink.“Of course,” he said, getting up and rushing down the hall to their bedroom, “You’re a lifesaver!” he yelled down the hall from where he had presumably found his cloak. “Now, we need to go, or we’ll be late to meet Lily and James.” Sirius pressed a kiss to Remus’s cheek as they swept out the door in a whirlwind of hastily put on cloaks.“I’ll apparate us,” he said, grabbing Remus’s hand and turning before Remus had finished agreeing to anything. They landed with a jolt, Remus stumbling out of Sirius’s grip and glaring as he staggered to the fence they’d landed by.“A little warning next time, perhaps?” He mock-glared at Sirius, who knew from his slight smile and exaggeratedly furrowed eyebrows that he wasn’t really mad.“Anything for you, darling,” Sirius said as he grabbed Remus’s hand and pulled him up the front path. “Speaking of, what do you want to do for Valentine’s this year?”“Sirius, I’ll be with the pack by then, what on earth are you talking about?” Remus raised an eyebrow as he followed his boyfriend up the path to the front door.“Well, we still have tonight,” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at Remus, causing him to roll his eyes and blush bright red at the same time. Endearing, Sirius thought. “I meant, we can go get dinner somewhere, and we won’t have to deal with the valentine’s day crowds to do it.”“There is that,” said Remus as they reached the front door. “Oh look, we’re here, despite your best efforts to splinch both of us on the way.”Sirius groaned. “I was in control the whole time! You’re just a control freak.”“I am not a control-” Remus responded as the door opened to reveal an amused looking Lily. “Lily! So wonderful to see you again.” Remus looked at her closely, noting the fatigue in her eyes. At least she didn’t seem as nauseous as she had at board game night last week.“Lily!” Sirius mimicked him. “It’s like you didn’t see her last week for boardgame night."“You two bicker loudly enough that I don’t think we even needed to install that doorbell,” She laughed. “And it’s good to see you too Remus, Sirius. James will be back in a few, he just popped out to go grab some biscuits, we’re out.” She winced. “I’ve been going through packages of them so fast, I just don’t understand it.”She led them over the couch. “Can I get you boys some tea?”“Tea would be perfect Lily, thank you,” Remus smiled as he sat down on the couch. “Why so formal though, I can help you make it like usual.” He shot a questioning glance at her as Sirius settled back against the cushions and propped his feet up on the coffee table, where Lily glared them back down and onto the floor again.“Just indulge me,” she said, smiling a little secretively. “We have some exciting news.”Remus tilted his head to the side as his brows drew together and he settled back into the couch. “I wonder what it is,” murmured Remus.“What?” said Sirius, who was entranced by the muggle travel books Lily had put on the coffee table.Remus rolled his eyes and smiled at his boyfriend. “The news that’s so very exciting we’re being treated like guests.”At this, Sirius gave a start and glanced over at Remus before looking down at his nails. “Hmm, I have no idea.”Remus probably would have questioned his boyfriend further if not at that moment James Potter burst into the living room holding a package of biscuits. “Prongs!” Remus said, feeling a little startled; James looked out of breath, almost like he had run to get here. “Prongs, are you-”“We’re pregnant!” James shouted, before racing into the kitchen to grab Lily. He dragged her to the living room, waving the biscuits about the whole time. “Lily and I, we’re going to have a baby!”“What James means to say,” said Lily to a shell-shocked Remus and a put-together Sirius (surprisingly put together, Remus thought suspiciously), “Is that I am the one growing a baby for nine months and he is the one who caused it! So really, if you think about it, it is his fault we ran out of biscuits."“Congratulations!” Remus said, laughing at her tirade as James pulled puppy dog eyes on her. “I thought you seemed a little, eh, rounder than usual lately, but I didn’t want to say anything in case I was wrong.”Lily laughed and said “well, don’t worry, you’re definitely not wrong.” James pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.“Do you two know the gender yet?” Remus asked eagerly, leaning forward on the couch where Sirius was still slumped back.“Nope!” Lily said, “We-"“I think it’s gonna be a boy with my eyes and Lily’s hair!” James said excitedly. “Also we’ll find out in April.”“We wanted to ask you to be the godfather Sirius.” Lily said. At this, Sirius sat up, shocked and alert.“Me? But I’m reckless and irresponsible!”“Aha!” Remus said jokingly, “He admits it!” He turned to ruffle Sirius’s hair, smiling sadly up at Lily and James. They smiled back, much in the same mood. Remus couldn’t be declared anyone’s godfather, not as a werewolf.“Remus, we know that if anything happened to us, you would take care of our child with Sirius.”“Of course I would,” Remus said bracingly, “don’t need a legal piece of parchment to tell me that!”“We should be heading out,” Sirius said, getting up from the couch slowly, mind whirling. “Rem needs to get as much rest as he can before this next assignment.”“Of course!” Lily said, and the next few minutes were the hustle of friends saying goodbye, hugging, and wishing Remus safe travels. As Sirius and Remus walked from the front door to the garden gate, fingers twined together, Remus said “They’ll be alright, won’t they?”“Of course they will,” Sirius scoffed, “It’s James and Lily. They’re the best people we know.”“They are,” Remus nodded his agreement. “If anyone deserves a happy ending, it’s our Lily and Prongs.”October 31st, 1981Emmeline rushed into the main room of the safehouse she and Remus were sharing at the moment, shock warring with upset on her face. “Remus”, she said in a broken tone.“Emmeline?” He said, getting up from the desk at which he had been perched, writing a letter to Lily to reply to the one she had sent him a few days ago. Also on his to-reply stack was a letter from James, complaining about not being able to leave the house, and a letter from Dumbledore, asking for his mission report on the pack scouting he had just finished up. There should be a letter from Sirius there, his traitorous brian said. Shut up, he thinks I’m the traitor, he told it furiously, focusing on Emmeline, who was now wiping her eyes in front of him. “What’s wrong?” he said, grabbing her shoulders to stabilize her.She met his eyes, tears freely falling now. “I’m sorry Remus, I’m so sorry. It’s, it’s James and Lily. They just found the bodies.” She kept talking, but at that point, Remus ceased to hear her, staggering back and grabbing the back of the chair he had just vacated.“Merlin’s beard,” he said to himself. It was impossible. James, Lily, his best friends. Dead. and “Harry?” he croaked, staring blankly at Emmeline. “Harry as well then?”“No, that’s the thing,” Emmeline said. “It’s a miracle, everyone’s saying. The Boy Who Lived. He Who Must Not Be Named shot a curse at him, to make a clean job of it I suppose, though why one would need to kill a baby-”“Emmeline.” Remus said sharply.“Sorry, Harry deflected it. Somehow, he survived, and You Know Who is gone. Harry killed him somehow.”“He’s just a baby,” Remus whispered.“Well exactly,” said Emmeline, who had heard him anyway. “That’s why it’s all so curious. I suppose we can only thank Merlin he’s alright.”“Yes,” Remus said faintly, as he had just realized who exactly was at fault for the murder of the Potters. “I suppose we can.”
Sirius. You were supposed to be the good one out of the two of us. I’m cursed, but you. You’re more vibrant than life. How could you, Sirius? How could you, Padfoot?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
February 15th, 1980
Peter rubbed his hands together and leaned bracingly into the cold wind blowing through Godric’s Hollow. He wasn’t sure why Lily and James had asked him over for tea today, but he was always happy to spend some time with his friends.
Were they as happy to see him?
whispered the traitorous voice in his head.
Of course they were!
He told it angrily.
He shook his head, focusing on the ground under his feet as he walked to the Potters’ cottage. He hadn’t visited in a while. He’d been meaning to, of course, but things came up, order missions, meeting up with school friends and such. Trying to ignore the war. He shivered, pulling his cloak closer to his body as he did.
Maybe some of the people he’d been seeing recently weren’t exactly the sort of company James or Sirius would keep but, Peter puffed his chest out proudly, they wanted to talk to him. Not James or Sirius. Him.
And anyway
, Peter thought, glaring at the ground now,
I don’t need permission from anybody to hang out with anybody
. It’s not like he was going for drinks with Death Eaters. No, he was simply catching up with some acquaintances who chose to be neutral right now.
Nothing wrong with neutral
, he thought, approaching the path to the Potters’ door.
Neutral is perfectly fine
.
He walked up the path slowly, taking in the garden James meticulously tended and wrote to Peter about, and the bird feeder Lily had mentioned working on in her last letter. Peter knocked on the door, waiting a few moments before rolling his eyes.
I bet they’ve forgotten they even invited me over
. He knocked again, this time hearing steps hurrying toward the door from the other side.
“Peter!” cried Lily, opening the door and throwing her arms around him. “It’s so good to see you!”
He smiled and hugged her back, his earlier worries forgotten. “Lily! I’m glad you two decided to have me over, it’s been ages!”
She looked sheepish. “I know, and I’m sorry Pete,” (
don’t call me Pete
) she led him into the cottage and through to the living room. “We’ve been pretty busy with order work, and it sounds like you have been too! Will we see you tomorrow for board game night? Remus can’t make it - order work - but Sirius and James and I will all be here, of course, and you haven't come in ages!”
Peter’s smile became a little fixed as he sat next to Lily on the couch. Saturday nights he had a standing meeting with Corban Yaxley, someone who had hung around with Snape in school. Yaxley was different now, Peter was sure of it, he was polite and neutral and asked after Peter’s friends when they saw each other, but he didn’t think James and Lily would think Yaxley had changed. He changed his smile to a sympathetic face. “I’m really sorry, I just don’t think I can make it tomorrow night. I’m looking after my mum again, she’s come down with something bad this time-”
“Oh of course!” Lily cut him off with a wave of her hand. “No worries, please send mine and James’ best wishes for her health.”
“I will,” he said, smiling again, and fiercely pushing down the thread of guilt that had risen in his stomach at the lie.
“Now,” Lily said, rising from the couch, “let me just go get James from upstairs, I think he’s writing Sirius, and I’ll get the tea started. Are chocolate biscuits alright?”
“Of course, that sounds great,” Peter said, settling against the couch cushions. He glanced around the room. Not much had changed since he’d been here last, he supposed, except Lily and James had put some new books out on the coffee table. He picked one up to flip through it. The pictures weren’t moving, he saw.
It must be a muggle book
, thought Peter, a little annoyed. Yaxley had been complaining just last week about muggle literature infiltrating its way into good, respectable, pureblood homes.
Not that there was anything wrong with being a muggle
, Peter thought hastily, feeling a little ashamed.
Being a wizard was just...better
.
He set the book back on the coffee table just as James came bounding down the stairs. “Pete, Wormy, it’s so good to see you, mate!” James smiled brilliantly and pulled Peter in for a hug.
Peter smiled back at him. “It’s good to see you, Prongs. I’m glad you and Lily decided to have me over.”
“Of course, you know you’re welcome anytime!” James’s smile became a sympathetic expression. “Lily mentioned about your mum, I’m sorry you won’t be able to make it tomorrow night, but I’m glad you’re still visiting with her, it’s good to stay in touch.”
Peter pushed the rising guilt down harder this time before accepting James’s sympathy. “It’s alright, I mostly just want to keep her from being too lonely, you know.”
“Of course, let us know if there's anything we can do to help, anything at all.” James patted Peter on the back just as Lily walked back into the room carrying the tea things. James quickly sprung up to help her put everything down on the table, before helping her sit down next to him on the couch. Peter watched this with a quirked eyebrow, and he wondered why Lily was putting up with this, well, babying.
His question was answered a few minutes later, while they all were having some biscuits as they waited for the tea to cool enough. “Peter, James and I are going to have a baby!”
“I- you’re- I’m sorry you’re doing what?” he stared at them like he didn’t know them anymore. How the hell were they having a kid?
I still feel like a kid
, he thought, but then he said “Congratulations! Wow! That’s insane.”
Lily laughed nervously. “Yeah, that’s my thought process too,” she said, putting a protective hand on her stomach.
“We’ve named Padfoot the godfather,” James said, (
This is expected, don’t be jealous, why are you jealous?
), “but you and Moony are his uncles, of course. We wouldn’t have it any other way.”
The rest of the visit passed in a blur, Peter asking the appropriate questions (When are you due? When do you learn the gender? What names are you thinking?) and James and Lily being extremely mushy over the whole business. When he thought he couldn’t take anymore of the soft eyed looks or he’d just about die, he made his excuses and left.
Wow
, he mused it over.
Two practically-kids having a kid. Yaxley will think this whole business is amusing
. With that in mind, Peter hurried off, ready to go apparate back to his flat.
October 31st, 1980
No one will know it was you
, he reminded himself,
everyone thinks it was Sirius
. He blinked at the thought of Sirius, loyal Sirius, being dragged off to Azkaban for a crime he didn’t commit.
Well
, Peter reasoned to himself.
I didn’t commit a crime either. I just told someone something. And that’s not illegal.
Very firmly not thinking about the consequences of his actions, Peter Pettigrew left his bolt hole and headed off.
I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not my fault, he would’ve killed me if I hadn’t.
I couldn’t be as good as you needed me to be.