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"By the seventh week, the flowers in the garden start to die, and you think they look like your heart."
The watering can was heavy, and dragging it out, full of sloshing water, to the garden was a physical feat that left you breathless. How did Jin do this so effortlessly?Slowly lifting it to the first patch of dying flowers, you tipped it up slightly, letting water rain over them. It wasn't your intention to let the garden die after yours and Jin's argument, and you weren't sure it was his, either. But the flowers he'd worked so hard to plant were dying, and you hated to see something so beautiful fade away. So, here you were.You moved onto the next plant, and the next, the watering can growing lighter and easier to carry the more you watered. Hoping this would help the withering garden slightly, you wiped sweat off your brow, continuing your arduous task until you'd been round the whole garden, then flopped down on the patio in exhaustion. Breath coming heavy, you surveyed your work. Not too bad for a first try. You felt almost optimistic about the garden's prospects of surviving, even if it was true that you didn't have much of a green thumb. Maybe it would cheer Jin up a little to see his garden flourishing again. Maybe.You pushed yourself up off the pavement, and picked the now-empty watering can back up. It was getting cold, so you headed back inside, leaving the watering can next to the back door and immediately setting about making yourself some coffee.Whether or not Jin noticed your efforts didn't matter to you, you told yourself. All that mattered was that there was something in your world that wasn't withering and dying. And if there was something you could prove to yourself, it was that you could save this. If you saved your garden, maybe you could save your love, too.You doubled your efforts after that. Out in the garden whenever you could, you took it upon yourself to read one of Jin's gardening books and figure out a way to restore the dying plants. Armed with a pair of sharp shears and new knowledge, you cut away the dead and withered flower heads one afternoon, collecting them in a big plastic bag. The book told you that cutting away the dead parts of a plant would make them regrow again, just as they were before. You hoped to God that it was right. After throwing out the dead flowers, you watered the whole garden again, then slumped, exhausted, back into your living room, gardening gloves thrown haphazardly on the table. You'd put them away later, you told yourself. Right now, a nap sounded like the best idea, and you curled up on the couch, out like a light.Jin came in two hours later. He made to walk right past you and into his office, but stopped himself when he saw the gloves on the side. His gloves. Why were they out? What were you doing that required his gardening gloves? It couldn't possibly be gardening, he'd never seen you do it before in his life.But you were full of surprises, and when he put away the gardening gloves, he caught sight of the half-full watering can standing by the back door and his heart felt almost as full. Were you gardening, now that he wasn't? He wanted to think so.When you finally woke up, some time in the early evening, the gloves were gone. Too tired to care, you rubbed your sleepy eyes and went back to your room.Three days later, you were back to watering. Hoping, praying, the flowers were growing back. The flowers that remained looked healthier than before, and you hoped you were doing some good. You really hoped.You established a routine like this, watering the plants every few days and checking to see how they grew. You spent the time that you would've spent moping about Jin, in the garden, and it was a wonderful distraction, you wondered why you hadn't done it sooner.
Because it was always Jin that did it.
You kept watering. Water, water, water, check the stems, admire the roses, keep watering. Keep dragging the heavy watering can around. It'll be worth it.You thought he didn't notice. You thought he didn't see, but he's always noticed everything about you. Even when you thought he didn't want to, he saw.He was watching from his bedroom window one night, watching you struggle to carry the watering can over to the first patch of flowers. His heart failed him at the sight, sending so much sudden adoration through his veins he thought he might start bleeding it. You were caring for the garden he used to care for, loving it in his place and he felt as though that love was meant for him. He felt as though, through the garden, you were loving him.Maybe it was bullshit. Maybe it was just a garden, and all you were doing was watering plants. But still, you kept watering, and still, his heart was full.