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The curtain is pulled open allowing a thin stream light into the abandoned room. This had been your home for the past year.
“(Y/N).”
“(Y/N), come on. Time to get up. It’s already noon, ya know.”
“Bucky, if you don’t stop, I’ll strangle you in your sleep tonight,” you grumble.
“Doll, you and I both know that won’t happen. Who will cook if I’m gone?” Bucky laughs out in response.
You huff at his silliness; telling him that your cooking skills are perfect. Through the bleariness of slumber, you can see the soft smile that graces his face. Sitting on the cot next to you, he attempts to pull you from your sleepy state by running his fingers through your hair. If he thought that was going to get you up and moving he would be sadly mistaken. Sighing contentedly, you bury your face into the pillow. His comfortable presence only made you more drowsy. Sleep begins to take over you when a loud noise suddenly pierces the air.
.
.
.
.
“I hate that damn goat!” Bucky roars in laughter at your statement and it is enough to quell any irritation you felt about the abrupt wakeup call.
Your frown deepens at the memory. You haven’t woken up to his voice in nearly 8 months. Now, you are awakened by the heart-pounding nightmares of seeing him turn to ash. Screaming his name as he disappears into the unknown. Taking a few hesitant steps past the doorframe, your weary eyes scan the room. It’s dark and musty; not how you remember it being at all. A few more steps in and you come to the shelf that holds a few tattered photos and the small radio Shuri had gifted to you and Bucky as a sort of housewarming present.
Humming along with the faint music playing in the background, you prepare lunch in the makeshift kitchen. You don’t notice that Bucky has come in until strong arms wrap around your waist from behind.
“Hello beautiful,” Bucky whispers into your ear as he lightly squeezes your midsection. You smile as you return to cutting vegetables.
“Hello handsome,” you reply happily. He begins to lightly sway you both to the rhythm of the new song that has started to play.
You put the knife down and turn yourself in his arms. He leans down brushing his lips against your forehead. It’s a sweet gesture that he now has a habit of doing. Pulling you towards the center of the room, he brings you closer into his embrace. Your head is tucked under his chin; cheek against his chest. You can hear his heartbeat and you swear it’s better than any music you have ever heard.
“Let’s dance forever, doll.”
“Yes, always.”
You loved those moments. Bucky always commented on how he wished he could give you more but you were always quick to reassure him that to you those simple interactions were the things you valued the most. Him being by your side, dancing with you, and holding you were the things you yearned for in this world.Shaking your head, you try to rid yourself of the memory that was once welcomed and has since turned too painful to remember. You wrap your arms around yourself. It’s a futile attempt to find heat in the cold that permeates the room. On instinct, you cross the room seeking out the fireplace that once filled this place with light. A representation of the passion you and Bucky shared is now unused and empty. The warmth that made this place safe and comfortable has turned stagnant.
The soft hiss of the fireplace is drowned out by the noise of the pouring rain. Standing by the window, you stare out into the darkness waiting to catch sight of the lightning strike you are sure is soon to come. As expected a streak lights up the night sky over Wakanda and it is shortly followed by the crackle of thunder. What catches your attention most though is the sharp sound of glass breaking and the anguished whimpers coming from Bucky. You quickly turn to find a drinking glass, once on the bedside table, now shattered on the floor. Bucky is thrashing from what you can only assume is a nightmare. Even with the Hydra triggers cleared from his mind, he still is burdened by the demons of his past. They creep their way into his dreams and torture him.
“Bucky”, you call out softly as you make your way to him. He’s struggling under the sheets; twisting and turning his body. Sweat lines his forehead as his face contorts into an express you wish you’d never have to see again.
“Bucky, wake up. It’s a nightmare. Come back to me.” You place your hand on his face, slowly caressing his heated skin.
His body jolts forward pulling him from his nightmare. Heavy ragged breaths are all he can do to try to calm himself. You coo words of affection at him as he regains his senses. In a sudden movement, he presses his face into your neck. His shuddering fills you with despair. You wish you could take this pain from him. He clings to you. His arms wrap around you tightly as if he’s afraid he’ll be pulled back into the darkness where his tormentors reside.
“Don’t leave me. Please, don’t leave.” You feel his arms tighten around you.
“Never Bucky. Never,” you promise him.
You remember all the promises you made to one another in the quiet of the midnight hours. The promises of safety, love, and devotion. The vows of a brighter future together. All those promises were shattered within the few seconds of a single snap. Your heart clenches; gripping you as strongly as it did the day he disappeared. The grief you feel is enormous. With a final look around, you take in the remnants of the room that once contained your life and love. You turn and walk out the door; the light of another day without him washing over you. This was your home. You’re home with him. Your place of peace together. And now? Now, it is a place of stillness. A ghost of the past taunting you; reminding you of all you had lost.