Work Text
PRESENT
Don’t get him wrong, Taehyung liked parties, especially when they were celebrating successful wrap of a new movie but right now, he was kinda bored. He was chatting lightly with his colleagues that he was working with for the past few months and he made sure that there was always a glass of wine in his hand. They had a fancy party in a hotel in Tokyo because that is where Taehyung lived and filmed the movie for past six months or so.He was in the middle of conversation with a make-up artist when a voice interrupted them: “If this is not Kim Taehyung.” Taehyung’s eyes widened in surprise and in excitement, he turned around and squealed when he saw a familiar face in front of him.“Jiminie!” the actor exclaimed and threw himself at the idol. Behind Jimin’s back he saw other familiar faces that he missed so much.“Hyungs!” Taehyung exclaimed again and hugged first Namjoon, then Seokjin and then Hoseok.“What are you doing here?” the actor looked at his friends that he hasn’t seen for months with surprise.“Well, we did a song on the soundtrack for your movie and we are currently touring Japan so we were invited to this party,” Namjoon was the one who replied. Taehyung’s eyes scanned their surroundings for one face in particular.“Is…is he here?” Taehyung mumbled and looked at Jimin.“Yah! You see us after half a year but of course the only one you are interested in seeing is him,” Jimin scolded him but he was smiling. He understood Taehyung, all of them did.“He’s somewhere with Yoongi, they should join us soon,” Hoseok answered Taehyung’s question. The actor breathed out. He couldn’t believe it. He had no idea that Bangtan would be here tonight and he had no idea that he will see him. Suddenly the evening wasn’t that bad.His breath caught in his throat and his heart started beating a bit faster when he finally spotted that familiar face. Their eyes met and Taehyung felt like floating away.Jeongguk looked as good as ever, if not even better. He didn’t change much in the past six months but he still looked more mature, just like he always did when they saw each other. Taehyung’s legs started moving on their own accord towards the raven-haired man as they were holding an eye contact. Yoongi went towards him and gave him a short hug. Then he joined the other four members, giving the two their space. They all knew how special this was for them.Taehyung approached Jeongguk and they were just standing there, staring at each other for a moment before the younger stretched out his hands and pulled Taehyung into a tight hug.“Gukkie,” Taehyung mumbled against the idol’s neck when he buried his face there. He closed his eyes and took in the familiar scent of the cologne, relishing in the feeling of being in the younger’s arms again.“I missed you so much,” Jeongguk whispered with emotional voice. Taehyung pulled himself from the younger so he could properly look at him.“I had no idea you’d be here. It’s been so long,” Taehyung teared up.“Too long,” Jeongguk nodded, looking at the older as if he was some creature out of this world. And he was, to Jeongguk at least, he was his angel.“How long are you going to stay?” Taehyung got out a question that he didn’t want the answer to but he needed it. That question was always there between them.“Couple of days, we have two shows here in Tokyo,”“That’s good, that’s enough time for us to catch up,” the older smiled widely.“Yeah, it is,” the younger nodded with the same bright smile and then he added with a suggestive voice: “We are actually accommodated in this hotel.”“Good,” Taehyung’s face showed a hint of smirk: “We should go to the others, they would be bitching if I didn’t talk to them at least for a bit.”“No problem, we have the whole night,” Jeongguk nodded and they went to join the rest of Jeongguk’s group. Taehyung missed them all so much, they became friends years ago and anytime Taehyung had a chance to see them, he was reminded why he liked them so much. Despite not spending so much time with them, he considered all of them his best friends.“So, Taehyungie, where to now? Are you moving again?” Hoseok looked at the actor. Taehyung was moving for the work all around the world, that was the reason why he didn’t see them often, why he didn’t see Jeongguk often.“Yeah, I am leaving in a week, Hong Kong this time,” Taehyung informed them. He noticed from the corner of his eye Jeongguk staring at him. He knew he was disappointed. He felt the same when he found out he wasn’t going back to Korea. But this was his life, this is what he chose and he didn’t have to take that part in a new movie in Hong Kong, he could take something back home but this is what he wanted.They were chatting and drinking little bit, remembering old times and things they’ve been through together. At some point, Jeongguk’s arm curled around Taehyung’s waist and the older melted against him, just like he was did.“Jesus christ, just go,” Jimin snorted at one point.“What?” Taehyung looked at his fellow ’95 liner.“We can all see that you are both dying to be finally alone and we get it, it’s been so long. Just go, we are going to be in Tokyo for couple of days, we can catch up later,” Jimin rolled his eyes but he was smiling.“Thanks,” Taehyung looked down with sheepish smile. Jimin was right. He was happy to see all of them but right now he wanted to be with only one person.Jeongguk grabbed his hand without any word and started pulling him away. Taehyung turned to the five guys one last time: “How about lunch tomorrow, here in the hotel restaurant?”“Sounds great!” Hoseok gave him thumbs up.“Have fun,” Seokjin smirked.As soon as they were in a hallway and away from the people and music, Jeongguk turned to Taehyung. He cupped his cheeks softly and gave him the smile that was reserved only for the actor.“Hi,” Jeongguk whispered.“Hey,” Taehyung breathed out with shaky voice because he knew what was coming and he couldn’t wait for it. As soon as he saw Jeongguk’s face getting closer, he went forward, meeting him halfway. Their lips connected in a soft kiss, tasting each other after more than half a year.The kiss lasted only few seconds and when they separated, they rested their foreheads together. Jeongguk’s thumbs were stroking Taehyung’s cheeks and the older held his wrists.“Fuck, I missed you so much, you have no idea,” Jeongguk whispered.“I think I do because I missed you too,” Taehyung whispered back and closed the gap between them again. This time they parted lips and their tongues met. The kiss turned deep and more urgent after couple of seconds.“We have a lot of catching up to do,” Jeongguk mumbled into the kiss.“We have couple of days for that,” Taehyung broke the kiss and leaned against Jeongguk’s ear to whisper: “Right now I want you to fuck me.” The younger groaned at the request but he didn’t need to be told twice.They made it to the elevator and as soon as the door closed and they rode up, they jumped at each other again, kissing hungrily and grinding their crotches together. Yeah, it’s been too long.They somehow made it to Jeongguk’s hotel room and as soon as the door shut close behind them, the idol slammed Taehyung’s back against it, trapping his lips in another desperate kiss. Then he glued his mouth to Taehyung’s neck, licking it and sucking in bruises.“B-bed,” Taehyung breathed out shakily: “Come on, Gukkie.”“Impatient, aren’t we, baby?” Jeongguk snickered and kept on biting and kissing his neck.“It’s been six mont-ah..” Taehyung moaned:”…six months. Of course I’m fucking impatient.” Jeongguk only laughed at that but thankfully complied. He grabbed Taehyung’s hips, led him to the bed and lied him down. He climbed over him, settling between his legs.Jeongguk’s fingers quickly unbuttoned Taehyung’s silky shirt and slipped it from him to toss it on the floor. He immediately glued his mouth to the older’s chest, sucking in bruises.Taehyung was squirming and whimpering under him as Jeongguk’s mouth was working on his chest and his hips started grinding so their clothed erections were rubbing together.“Please, Jeongguk, hurry up,” Taehyung whined desperately.“You don’t wanna take it slow, angel?” Jeongguk looked up at him.“We have the next days for that. I want you, now, I need you so fucking much,” Taehyung looked at him with desperate, lustful eyes.“As you wish, baby,” Jeongguk nodded and pecked his lips: “How do you want it?”“Fast and hard, fuck I need to feel you, god,” the older groaned helplessly, squirming under the younger’s body.“Shit, baby,” Jeongguk groaned at his words but he was quick to comply, too turned on and desperate as well. He hasn’t felt Taehyung for half a year, he needed him right now. He quickly got rid of their pants and underwear so they were soon naked.Jeongguk stretched out his hand to the night stand where he previously prepared lube and condoms. He knew that Taehyung would be at the party and he knew how the evening would end.“No condom, I need to feel you.” Taehyung spoke up when he saw what the younger was taking out.“Are you sure?”“I don’t fuck with anyone without a condom, only you,” the older looked at him. Jeongguk’s chest tightened at the information. The thought of Taehyung with someone else was making his blood boil but that was their arrangement so he couldn’t really say anything. It was making him warm inside at the same time though, the confession that Taehyung went bareback only with him.Soon Jeongguk’s fingers were coated in lube and he was circling Taehyung’s entrance. The older was whimpering impatiently and his whimpers turned into a long moan when the younger finally pushed the finger past the tight ring of muscles.“Shit, baby, you are so tight, can’t wait to feel you around me,” the singer groaned once he started fucking the finger in and out.“Fe-feels so good, Gukkie, so good, more,” Taehyung choked out. He was almost out of his mind already, he could always come apart from Jeongguk’s touches and he needed more, his whole body was burning for it.Thankfully Jeongguk complied and pushed the second and soon also third finger inside. After few minutes of fucking Taehyung with his fingers and driving him to the edge, Jeongguk finally pulled out his fingers, lubed up his hard neglected cock and lied down between the older’s legs.“Shit, baby, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” Jeongguk whispered softly once he was facing the other, cupped his cheek with a hand and kissed him passionately. Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. He gasped into Jeongguk’s mouth and whined when he felt the head of Jeongguk’s erection enter him.They both moaned in unison against each other’s mouth at the sensation of finally being connected again. Once Jeongguk bottomed, they were panting together.“I missed this, I missed you so much,” Taehyung looked him straight in the eyes with emotional expression.“I missed you too, angel,” Jeongguk smiled softly. He gripped Taehyung’s hips, making sure to leave bruises because he knew the older loved it and he withdrew his hips only to slam back inside.Taehyung was letting out moans and whimpers as the younger was setting up a speed until he was pounding into him mercilessly after minute. The soft moment was gone just as fast as it came and it was replaced by lust and desire again.“Oh g-ah, shit, Gukkie…so fucking good!” Taehyung cried out at one particularly deep thrust that went right to his prostate.“Fuck, baby, I missed this, I missed feeling you around me,” Jeongguk choked out against Taehyung’s neck and bit on it harshly.“Missed it too,” Taehyung whimpered: “No one can fuck me like you, Jeongguk, no one.”That confession made Jeongguk groan and it snapped something in him. He grabbed Taehyung’s legs and threw them on his shoulders and bent down so the older was almost bent in half. Then he started snapping his hips with bigger energy than before, making the man under him scream in pleasure.“Shit, baby, look at you. So fucking beautiful, so fucked out from my cock,” Jeongguk looked at the other with dark eyes and took in his appearance. His messy hair, glossy eyes, swollen lips and flushed cheeks. An image that he’s seen thousand times before but an image that he will never get tired of seeing.“God, Gukkie, so close,” Taehyung whimpered with closed eyes, feeling the heat in his stomach.“Me too, angel, fuck. Go on, come for me,” Jeongguk encouraged him and fucked into him as fast and as hard as he could. He sneaked his hand between Taehyung’s legs and grabbed his leaking cock. He didn’t even start stroking it and Taehyung was already screaming, chanting Jeongguk’s name. His eyes rolled back, his mouth opened in a silent scream and he shot his load all over his stomach and chest.Jeongguk almost choked when he felt the older tighten around him and that was enough to drive him over the edge. He grunted under his breath, buried himself inside as deep as he could and came hard, filling the other to the brim. Taehyung whimpered brokenly at the feeling of being filled, something he hasn’t felt for six months and he pulled Jeongguk down for a kiss.Half an hour later, after a quick shower, they were laying snuggled together in the bed. Taehyung was pressed to Jeongguk’s side as he was drawing lazy circles into his defined stomach. Jeongguk’s arm was resting on Taehyung’s hip, stroking the flesh softly.“It’s good to see you and the boys again. I really missed you,” Taehyung broke the comfortable silence. He didn’t need to speak all the time when he was with Jeongguk, they had a long history together and he felt comfortable just by being with him.“We missed you too, it’s been so damn long,” Jeongguk hummed in agreement. He felt nice and happy now when he had the older in his arms but his chest felt tight because he knew that they had only few days, just like always. They will say goodbye to each other in few days and won’t see each other for months again. That’s how it’s been for years.“What are you going to work on in Hong Kong?” the younger spoke up after a while.“Some TV show drama, the script looks really good,”“Well I hope it does, otherwise you wouldn’t take it,” Jeongguk chuckled quietly. Taehyung heard unspoken words in Jeongguk’s voice, words that were always lingering there between them: If you didn’t like the job, you would come back to Korea. To me.“And how is tour going for you?” Taehyung changed the topic.“Good, it’s exhausting but good. I am really enjoying it, you know, even after all these years, it still makes me happy,”“I’m glad to hear that,” Taehyung smiled lightly. He always admired Jeongguk’s passion, dedication and hard work he put into his job of an idol and he always loved seeing the younger’s enthusiasm for the job. He was happy that Jeongguk was happy.“Last month, it was six years since we met. Did you remember?” Jeongguk spoke up quietly after few moments.“Of course I remembered,” Taehyung whispered and suddenly felt his chest tighten. As if Jeongguk could feel the change in his mood, he pressed him closer to himself. They were both quiet for a while then Taehyung turned to his side and lifted his head to look at the younger properly.“You know, despite things not working out as we might have wished, I never regretted meeting you,” the older said, looking the other straight in the eyes.“I know, baby, me neither,” Jeongguk smiled sadly at him: “I could never regret meeting you and having you in my life, even if it’s always just for a while.”Taehyung felt tears burning in his eyes at all the memories that started flooding his brain. A lot has happened in those years, good things and bad things but he wouldn’t change anything. And most importantly, he was here with Jeongguk now and that was all that mattered at the moment. He refused to think about how his heart breaks in few days when Jeongguk leaves Tokyo because it always broke when he watched him leaving.“We still have few days, let’s make the best out of it,” Jeongguk smiled and cupped his cheek as if he could read his thoughts. Taehyung gave him a smile and leaned down to kiss him.“Well then we better not waste our time,” Taehyung mumbled against the younger’s lips, got up and straddled his hips.“We have a whole night and then couple of others,” Jeongguk smiled, grabbed Taehyung’s hips and brought him down for another kiss.
FLASHBACK
Taehyung and Jeongguk first met when they were only seventeen and sixteen. Jeongguk was a rookie of newly debuted idol group and Taehyung was a starting actor and model.They met during filming of some talk show that BTS, Taehyung and few other young starting artists all attended. They chatted with MCs and they played some games.Taehyung was already sitting in the studio, ready to start when the six member group came in. All of them were young handsome man and since they only started, Taehyung hasn’t heard about them yet but as soon as they entered, they brought energy to the room and he knew that this evening will be fun.They started shooting and all of them introduced themselves. Taehyung was watching closely as all of them were speaking and his eyes lingered on a black-haired boy. He was surely younger than Taehyung and he was hella cute but also very handsome. He looked quite shy but Taehyung could understand that.They were proceeding with the interview and then the MCs challenged the idols to show off some dance moves. They were shouting one over another and Taehyung was giggling at their silliness. He really liked them, they seemed like funny and nice guys.It was decided that only the members of dance line will dance and first up was the leader of the line, Hoseok. Music started playing and everyone was cheering and Taehyung was watching the guy with dropped jaw. He was really damn good. Then next up was Jimin who was just as amazing as Hoseok. Taehyung was kinda envious. He himself wasn’t a very great dancer so seeing someone so talented was making him slightly jealous.Then it was Jeongguk’s turn. Taehyung was watching him closely, excited to see what he will show and he sure wasn’t disappointed. His movements weren’t as precise and natural as Hoseok’s and Jimin’s but there was something so powerful and intriguing in his dancing that caught Taehyung’s attention. Strangely, he thought Jeongguk was the best, at least in his opinion.Then they played some silly games, he was paired with couple of members of the group and one other young actor and they were playing against the other group. From the idols, he ended up with Yoongi, Jimin and Jeongguk.Taehyung didn’t remember when was the last time he laughed this hard like that evening. He and Jimin seemed to click almost instantly, Yoongi was just blatantly savage and funny and Jeongguk, although shy at the beginning, turned out to be goofy and funny as well.When the show was filmed, they went to changing rooms together.“I had really fun tonight,” Taehyung smiled at the idols.“It was nice meeting you, Taehyung,” Namjoon smiled warmly at him.“I hope we will meet again,” someone behind Taehyung’s back spoke up and when he turned around, he was met with the maknae. He couldn’t really pinpoint what it was, but something in Jeongguk’s eyes made Taehyung’s insides squirm. Since he was young, he never felt something like this before and he had no idea back then that he will feel exactly the same thing every time he will see the idol.“Yeah, I hope so too,” Taehyung lowered his head with a sheepish smile and flushed cheeks.That was the evening when Taehyung met BTS and ever since then, they became friends. That was the evening when he met Jeongguk. Back then, he had no slightest idea how much one evening in a TV studio on a cold October night will change his life for another six years and possibly forever.
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FLASHBACK
In July, Taehyung’s manager announced him that he was going to do a commercial at the end of August. That wouldn’t be such a big deal, Taehyung was doing fine in the film industry and his face and name were becoming well known and wanted, but when his manager told him that he will be doing that commercial with BTS, Taehyung felt over the moon.He hasn’t seen them for months, they met only once in October and then nothing. But still, Taehyung was really excited because he had so much fun with them the last time and the prospect of working with them for two days was definitely nice.They would be filming the commercial for some soda or whatever in some location outside of Seoul. Taehyung found out that they will film a pool party in the evening when the sun sets, in some hotel complex and that was even better. He was kinda nervous too, he didn’t even know if the idols will remember him.“Taehyung-ah!” Jimin ran to him when he arrived and all Taehyung’s worries were gone. The other members greeted him as well, as if they were good old friends. Taehyung’s gaze lingered on Jeongguk couple of seconds longer than on the others. The boy looked somehow more mature even though he was still so young and Taehyung had to admit that he was getting more handsome by day. The maknae gave him a small smile that made Taehyung’s cheeks burn red.They had so much fun the first late afternoon slash evening. Taehyung didn’t even feel like he was working, he was having the time of his life with the six guys. Although most of them were older than Taehyung, they were all nice and also pretty goofy, he was surprised that they got some work done, honestly.They were all staying in the hotel that the pool belonged to and Jimin invited Taehyung to join him and Hoseok in their room to eat some room service and play video games. To the actor’s pleasant surprise, the maknae was there as well and he soon found out that Jeongguk was very tough competitor. Taehyung always thought that he was great in video games but the maknae was skilled as well. They were bickering and playfully fighting half of the night. Taehyung kinda envied them. They had each other and they had so much fun all the time, he wished he had some great group of people around him as well.The next day of filming was even better. Taehyung was messing around mostly with Jimin and Jeongguk. He got on really well with them, probably because they were so close with age to each other. They were filming also in the pool and he and Jeongguk got into a water fight, dragging everyone in it as well.When they were done filming, BTS’s staff surprised them with surprise birthday party for Jeongguk since his birthday was only in few days. Taehyung might have or might have not look up some info about the members after he met them back in October so this was not new information to him. Their staff and managers prepared a surprise barbecue.“Well, I’m gonna head inside,” Taehyung scratched the back of his head and smiled sheepishly at Jeongguk.“What? No way, you have to stay here with us!” the maknae pouted.“It’s your birthday, you should celebrate it with your members and staff,”“You’re right, it is my birthday and I want you to stay so don’t you dare to turn me down,” Jeongguk raised his eyebrow cockily and well, Taehyung couldn’t really say no to that.They ate and chatted and it was all amazing. At some point of the evening, Bangtan’s managers and staff left them so they could enjoy the party by themselves. The older members of the group were drinking bit of beer the whole evening and as soon as the staff left, Yoongi pulled out soju from somewhere.“Here you go, have some fun and celebrate your birthday,” Seokjin handed a small bottle of flavoured soju to Jeongguk with a wink. The maknae looked at him incredulously.“Really?” the maknae asked sceptically. Seokjin nodded and the birthday boy took the bottle excitedly.“Share with Tae, I think one small bottle will be more than enough for you,” the oldest member laughed.“You think this is a good idea?” Namjoon looked at Seokjin.“Why not? It’s his birthday, Namjoon-ah, let him live a little,”“Yeah, it’s his birthday but he’s only seventeen,” the leader insisted.“Who cares? I think it’s better that he drinks here with us where we can keep an eye on him than doing it alone or with some friends of the same age,” Seokjin shrugged.“He’s right, Namjoon-ah, it’s not a big deal. It’s not like any of us didn’t have a sip of booze until we were legal. The kid’s been working his ass off for the past three years, he deserves to experience some normal teen stuff,” Yoongi jumped into the conversation and the leader gave up.Jeongguk and Taehyung shared the bottle and soon it was empty. It wasn’t the first time Taehyung drank alcohol but he still wasn’t used to it. He wasn’t drunk but his head was buzzing nicely and he felt really good.He spotted a two seat bench swing in the corner of the backyard and went to sit there, watching the stars above him. Few minutes later, someone sat down next to him and when he raised his head, he was met with Jeongguk. The other members were few meters from them, chatting and drinking, not paying attention to them at all.“Thank you for inviting me to your party,” Taehyung broke the silence.“I am happy you accepted,” the maknae gave him a small smile.“You know…” Taehyung spoke up after a while. He didn’t know where he got the courage, maybe it was the alcohol but he didn’t want to back down: “Birthday boys deserve a birthday kiss.”“Yeah?” Jeongguk breathed out with wide eyes. Taehyung just smiled sheepishly and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on the younger’s cheek. He could feel Jeongguk’s breath catching in his throat.When Taehyung leaned back with flushed cheeks, the maknae was staring at him with unreadable expression. Suddenly there was a hand on Taehyung’s cheek and now it was the older whose breath caught in his throat. Before he could process what was happening, there were soft lips again his. It was just a peck and it lasted few seconds but it still took Taehyung’s breath away.He was surprised by the action, he didn’t take Jeongguk for the bold type but it was definitely a pleasant surprise because he wouldn’t dare to make the first step. He was glad that the maknae took the initiative and went for it.“Is this alright?” Jeongguk whispered when they separated, his hand still on Taehyung’s cheek.“Yeah,” Taehyung whispered back and looked up at the maknae through his eyelashes: “More.” he breathed out. Jeongguk only smiled at his demand but closed the gap between them again, kissing the older with bigger urgency now.Their lips started slowly moving together, moulding perfectly. Suddenly Taehyung felt Jeongguk’s tongue licking on his bottom lip and he gasped in surprise. The younger used this opportunity to slip his tongue inside Taehyung’s mouth. The actor’s head was spinning as their tongues danced together.They separated again after half a minute but only to take breaths before they were kissing again, more urgently and sloppily this time. It wasn’t Taehyung’s first kiss, he got his when he was fifteen but this felt so much better. It was sloppy and they were both clearly inexperienced but it was somehow perfect.Neither of them seemed to get enough, it never went further than just kissing but it was desperate and right here, under the stars also pretty much perfect.“Well, looks like Jeonggukie is enjoying his birthday to the fullest,” they were interrupted by Hoseok’s chuckle. They broke the kiss and looked briefly at the five members, who were watching them with smirks. Jimin wolf whistled at them.“I said let him enjoy normal teen stuff,” Yoongi shrugged with a smirk and thankfully they turned their attention away from them.Jeongguk rolled his eyes and his cheeks started burning with embarrassment. He completely forgot about his hyungs sitting only few meters away from them and now he felt awkward. He felt Taehyung’s hand squeezing his thigh and when he looked up, he was met with reassuring smile. The older leaned in, capturing his lips again and they both soon forgot about the embarrassment, completely lost in each other. That was the evening when they first made out and they had no idea that they will share thousand more kisses in the next years.
PRESENT
Jeongguk and Taehyung met with the other members in a hotel restaurant for a lunch just like they planned the previous night.“Had fun catching up?” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows.“You want details or what?” Jeongguk glared at him as he sat down next to Taehyung.“Just let them be, you know how it always is when they see each other,” Hoseok rolled his eyes at Jimin.They ordered drinks and meals and chatted lightly. It didn’t matter how long they haven’t seen each other, they could always meet, anywhere in the world and talk like no time passed. Taehyung took Bangtan as his family at this point, they’ve been together through a lot, even though he wasn’t a part of the group.“Anyway, how are things going between you two?” Taehyung turned with a smile to Namjoon and Seokjin when they were done eating and ordered a coffee. The leader’s hand was resting comfortably on the vocalist’s thigh like it belonged there, completely comfortable after years of being together.“Everything’s great, just like always,” Seokjin flashed him a bright smile and his boyfriend nodded in agreement. Taehyung was really happy for them, they have been dating for almost five years and they were always happy together. He was actually kinda jealous of the relationship they had, it always reminded him of his own life and the decisions that led him and Jeongguk to where they were now.“You gonna come to the show tonight?” Jimin jumped into the conversation, looking at the actor.“Yeah, sure. I have no schedule anymore since I am leaving Tokyo in a week so I am completely free,” Taehyung smiled.“Great, then you can come today and tomorrow, we’ll get you a VIP pass,” Jimin chirped happily.And that is how Taehyung found himself in an arena full of screaming fans. He spent some time backstage with the group but when the show was about to start, he went to the VIP section so he could see them on stage properly.He had his face mask on, he didn’t need any unwanted attention on him and he was smiling underneath it the whole show. He was humming all the songs, he knew every single one of them. He was always quick to purchase new BTS album, he’s always supported them in their careers just like they supported him. It was so nice watching them on stage in their professional mode while they were performing and in their goofy mode when they were talking together or interacting with their fans.After the show ended, he and Jeongguk didn’t waste any time and went back to the hotel. They had only couple of days left and as they promised to each other, they wanted to get the best of them. They were rolling under the sheets the whole night, fucking or making out, sweaty and hot and they were taking breaks to just lie there and chat, catching up on everything they missed in the past six months. They fell asleep in each other’s arms only when the sun started already rising.*Taehyung went to the show the second night too but after the concert, he and Jeongguk didn’t go to the hotel. BTS had only two nights left in Tokyo and they agreed on going for drinks this night so Taehyung and Jeongguk could have the last night together. Everyone in the group got already used to this little tradition Taehyung and Jeongguk had whenever they saw each other so it was nothing new.Around midnight, they were already settled in some nice bar under the dim lights in a VIP section so they wouldn’t be bothered by anyone. The waiters were bringing them drinks so they really didn’t have to go anywhere and raise some unwanted attention. They didn’t need people to ask for photos or autographs, they just wanted to enjoy a nice evening together.Taehyung and Jeongguk were attached to each other’s hips the whole time, the maknae’s hand never left the actor’s waist or thigh as they sat pressed together. At some point of the evening, they just started lazily making out while the other five members were chatting around them. No one even batted an eye, again, it was nothing new and they were already used to it.“I’m going to the restroom or else my bladder will burst any second,” Jimin chuckled and got up from a sofa.“Wait, I’ll go with you,” Taehyung broke the kiss with Jeongguk when he heard the idol and got up as well.“How are you doing?” Seokjin turned to Jeongguk once the two ’95 liners left the section.“Great,” the maknae looked at the oldest with baffled expression because he didn’t understand why Seokjin was asking.“I mean, I know this is yours and Tae’s little tradition but we all know it always leaves you broken for weeks after you leave him,” Seokjin looked at him sympathetically. It was not his place to judge, he didn’t care about what they were doing but it always hurt him to see their maknae wandering around like a ghost for weeks after couple of days spent with the actor.“Couple of days with him is always all I’ve got and those weeks after are worth it,” Jeongguk looked at him with painful expression. Seokjin sighed. No matter what, those two couldn’t let each other go and it was hurting them both. They always came back to each other, after all these years and it left them broken to pieces. Seokjin loved Taehyung but sometimes he wished Jeongguk could just move on and find someone else, someone who could be with him more than just couple of days a year.Taehyung grabbed Jimin’s hand when they were heading to the restrooms so he wouldn’t lose him. Even though this was mainly a bar, a lot of people were dancing and it was quite packed. They were keeping their heads down so no one would recognize them but the place was mostly dark so it wasn’t hard.After they were done and were washing their hands, Taehyung looked at his friend through the mirror: “How is Jeonggukie doing?”“Mm, good, I think?” Jimin gave him a raised eyebrow.“I mean, I noticed he’s drinking again…” the actor added and Jimin didn’t need any further explanation.“You talking about his not-so-little drinking problem from two years ago?” the older asked and Taehyung nodded, biting his lip nervously.“He’s good, believe me. He drinks here and there but only to a certain amount, always just couple of drinks a night. We are keeping an eye on him after that period, don’t worry. We mostly drink together, he isn’t leaving the dorm in the middle of the night anymore,” Jimin reassured him with a small smile.“Good, okay,” Taehyung breathed out. Those were some hard times two years ago, Taehyung will never forget it and he was still getting anxious when he saw the maknae with a drink in his hand but if Jimin says everything is alright, then he believes him. And Jeongguk promised him too.“And how are you doing?” Jimin looked at the actor with serious expression.“You talking about my drunken call from two months ago?” the younger chuckled bitterly.“Yeah. I just want to make sure you’re okay and you’ve got this, Tae,” Jimin smiled at him: “I mean, you were calling me at three in the morning, completely shit-faced, sobbing for an hour about how much you miss him.”“I am fine, it was just a small breakdown,” Taehyung waved his hand dismissively.“Small breakdown that happened couple of times in the past few years,” Jimin sighed: “I just want to know that you’ll be alright when we leave in two days.”“I won’t,” Taehyung shrugged matter-of-factly: “I never am, you know that but…I just can’t help it. Every time I see him, I don’t think about what will be in couple of days. I know we will say goodbye like always but…I can’t let him go, Jiminie, I just can’t.”“I know,” Jimin nodded sadly with understanding. To say that things between Taehyung and Jeongguk were complicated was an understatement but nothing seemed to be able to break them apart.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
FLASHBACK
Taehyung met BTS again half a year after the filming of the commercial. He was presenting an award on some music award show and the group was nominated for some award and they were also performing. That was the first time Taehyung saw them on stage live and he was mesmerized. He didn’t understand how these guys still haven’t blown up, it was almost two years after their debut and they already had a solid fanbase but they deserved so much more. They were so talented and their stage presence and performance were flawless.The actor was watching them from backstage because soon it was his turn to present the award for the best girl group and he felt like his heart was touched when Jeongguk started singing. He’s heard him on their records before (Taehyung got them all by now) but he’s never heard him live and to say that he was mesmerized by the younger was an understatement. He was convinced that this was the first thing you hear when you enter the heaven. He was standing there with mouth agape the whole time until the guys finished their performance and went backstage.“You were absolutely fucking amazing!” Taehyung cheered loudly.“Tae!” Jimin exclaimed when all the members looked around to see who complimented them. The idol ran to hug the actor and soon the other guys were on him as well.“Hi,” Taehyung mumbled with sheepish smile when he stood in front of Jeongguk. They haven’t seen each other since that night by the pool. No one had to know that Taehyung was thinking about those kisses they shared for couple of weeks after that.“Hey,” the younger gave him a crooked smile that made Taehyung blush even more and his knees nearly buckled. Just like before, also this time Jeongguk looked somehow more mature. He also seemed more confident, he wasn’t that young, shy rookie anymore and the actor had to admit that he really liked it. He felt somehow small under the maknae’s gaze and the fact that he was sweating after the performance and looked hotter than ever wasn’t helping.“I have to go present an award in a minute,” Taehyung cleared his throat.“I hope I’ll see you around after the show,” Jeongguk replied quietly and the actor swore he saw sparkles in his eyes. He gulped and nodded.Two hours later, Taehyung was pressed between a wall and Jeongguk’s quite broad body. Even though he was younger, he was stronger and more muscular than Taehyung since the older had to maintain his body delicate and soft for his roles and occasional modelling.They were making out feverishly, grabbing onto each other and licking into each other’s mouth. They both got bolder over the time they haven’t seen each other and they got also hornier, their hormones full on raging. They were still backstage where the award show was held, in some kind of small storage room but neither of them cared.Jeongguk got bolder and pressed himself closer to the older. Taehyung let out surprised tiny moan when their erections rubbed together through their pants. Jeongguk broke the kiss and looked at the other with lust in his eyes, that little sound was enough to drive him crazy.The maknae moved his lips to Taehyung’s jaw, planted few open mouthed kisses there and then moved to his neck, sucking and biting on it. The actor was getting needier and more aroused by second and when Jeongguk started grinding his hips against his, giving them both much needed friction, Taehyung nearly lost it and moaned shamelessly.Neither of them was very experienced when it came to sex since they were working in showbusiness since very young age so they didn’t even know what they were doing but their instincts and lust were driving them forward.“Jeongguk,” Taehyung whimpered helplessly. He was so damn hard at this point, he could feel the pre-come staining his underwear and judging by the big bulge in Jeongguk’s pants, the younger wasn’t doing much better.Jeongguk separated his mouth from Taehyung’s neck and kissed him on the lips instead. It was rough and messy and their hips were moving rhythmically together.“Jeongg-Jeongguk, please,” Taehyung whined against the other’s mouth.“What do you want, baby?” the younger looked at him with dark eyes and Taehyung nearly melted, hearing the pet name. He’d never think that such simple word could make him so weak.“Touch me,” the actor whispered with urgent eyes while he was blushing for asking something like this. Jeongguk didn’t say anything and kissed him again and Taehyung was confused for a second but then moaned brokenly into the other’s mouth when he felt a hand palming him through the slacks.“Like this?” Jeongguk whispered against his ear raspily and that alone sent shivers down Taehyung’s spine.“More,” Taehyung choked out. He needed more, he needed to feel Jeongguk properly. And thankfully the idol complied. He unzipped Taehyung’s pants and slipped his hand into his underwear, palming him, skin against skin this time. Jeongguk groaned quietly at how wet the actor was and got bolder, taking his erection out of the underwear and stroking it experimentally. Taehyung was helplessly moaning under him, enjoying every single touch of the idol’s hand.They started kissing heatedly again while Jeongguk took his own hard cock out and lined them up together. Taehyung nearly choked when he felt the other’s erection against his and when Jeongguk wrapped his fingers around both of them, he nearly lost his mind.They were kissing sloppily, all tongues and teeth, both gone with arousal as they both started thrusting into Jeongguk’s hand. They were swallowing each other’s moans and gasps, the feeling of their wet erections sliding together was driving them to the edge quickly. Since they weren’t very experienced, they knew they won’t last much longer and they were desperately chasing their relief.Their lips never separated, even when they were moaning and panting, their mouth still stayed close. Their eyes were shut close, focusing solely on the pleasure building in their stomachs.“Jeongguk-“ Taehyung moaned out but didn’t finish as an orgasm hit him hard and he came over Jeongguk’s hand with a high pitched moan. The idol cursed under his breath when the delicious sound hit his ears and that was enough to send him over the edge as well, adding his load to Taehyung’s. They stayed pressed together for couple of minutes, enjoying their heights and kissing lazily.*The same scenario repeated two other times in a span of six months when Taehyung and BTS met. Jeongguk and the actor always disappeared and found some place somewhere where they made out and got each other off.They didn’t even exchange numbers, their schedules were busy anyway and they knew that everything would be too complicated with their jobs. Casual and unexpected hook-ups were much easier and also kinda hot.Third time that happened was two years after they met for the first time. Taehyung was a host MC of some talk show BTS attended and as was already their small tradition, when the cameras stopped rolling and everyone went to the dressing room, they disappeared. This time they went only to the restroom because they couldn’t find anything else. They were making out heatedly for couple of minutes, until Taehyung got down on his knees, pulled Jeongguk’s erection out and sucked him off. The young singer came slowly apart thanks to those sinful lips and tongue and came down Taehyung’s throat. In exchange for that, Jeongguk jerked Taehyung off and when he pressed a finger of his other hand against Taehyung’s entrance, the actor came unexpectedly with a sob.
PRESENT
“I don’t want you to go,” Taehyung mumbled, looking at the younger with sad eyes. He was lying on top of Jeongguk between his legs, resting his head on his chest, looking up at him.“I don’t wanna go either,” the idol confessed with equally sad expression. It was their last night in Tokyo together and BTS were leaving in only couple of hours. They spent the whole day together, meeting with the rest of the group only for a lunch but the rest of the day, they spent in Jeongguk’s hotel room, enjoying last hours.The night was already getting lighter, the sun was about to rise soon but neither of them cared. Usually when one of them was leaving early in the morning, they didn’t even go to sleep, enjoying every remaining minute together.“I hate seeing you leave. I thought it’d get easier after all these years but it doesn’t,” the actor confessed.“Then decline the job in Hong Kong and come back to Korea,” Jeongguk whispered. They have been through this conversation hundred times before and he knew what the actor’s answer will be but he still always tried.“I want that job, it is really interesting,” Taehyung replied, just what Jeongguk expected: “You are in the middle of tour anyway, you won’t be in Korea for months.”“It’s over in only two months, then we have small break and prepare for another album and comeback, you know how it goes,”“I know but still…I really want this job, Gukkie, don’t do this to me again. Don’t make me choose between you and my career,”“It’s really not a competition, you always choose your career,” the singer replied bitterly.“Are we gonna do this again? I don’t wanna fight with you only few hours before you leave,” Taehyung sighed and kissed the other’s chest softly.“Sorry, you know how I get when I know we’re saying goodbye soon,” Jeongguk smiled at him sadly.“I know, I get it,” Taehyung reassured him, then looked at him through eyelashes: “Can I feel you one last time?”“Whatever you want, angel,” Jeongguk caressed his cheek softly and pulled him up for a deep, sensual kiss.“I want you to mark me, cover me in bruises so I can feel and see you for couple more days,” Taehyung whispered against his lips and that pulled a groan from Jeongguk. The thought of Taehyung covered from head to toe in his hickeys as a proof of what they were doing was driving him crazy. He was already covered in red and purple bruises from their previous nights but he won’t mind adding few more to them.They started kissing more urgently and Jeongguk flipped them over so he was now lying between Taehyung’s legs. He got to work, fulfilling Taehyung’s wish, sucking on his neck, chest, shoulders, tummy and thighs, leaving marks everywhere. The older was lying pliant under him with shut eyes, letting out sounds of pleasure, enjoying every touch of Jeongguk’s lips on his skin. He wanted to remember that feeling for as long as he could. He had no idea when they’ll see each other again.Soon, Jeongguk lubed up his erection and slipped into Taehyung. He didn’t need any preparation since their previous round was only two hours ago. When the younger was fully in, he leaned down and kissed the other deeply, circling his hips sensually.“How do you want it, angel?” Jeongguk looked at Taehyung and brushed his hair from his forehead.“Nice and slow, I wanna feel you,” Taehyung breathed out and wrapped his legs around Jeongguk’s waist, bringing him as close as possible. The idol pecked his lips and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, Taehyung did the same so they were completely pressed together.Just like Taehyung asked, Jeongguk set up slow and deep pace, rocking into the older and kissing him softly in between moans, groans and whimpers.Soon Jeongguk lifted them both up and sat on the bed so the older was on top of his lap. He wrapped his hands around Taehyung’s waist tightly, holding him impossibly close. The older’s hands were buried in the younger’s hair, holding his face close while he was slowly bouncing up and down on him. They were panting against each other’s mouth, holding eye contact the whole time.Taehyung didn’t even realize that a tear rolled down his cheek until Jeongguk’s thumb brushed it away.“It’s okay, baby,” Jeongguk whispered. He knew Taehyung was emotional, just like he was. They had no idea when they’ll see each other again and he just wished their bodies would grow into each other so they’d never have to let go.“I’m so close,” Taehyung whimpered breathlessly. All the emotions were mixing in his head right now, he felt like crying but he felt also overwhelmed with pleasure. No one could ever bring up so many emotions in him like Jeongguk did.“Me too, baby,” Jeongguk confessed with a grunt as his hips were meeting Taehyung’s ass, thrusting into him sloppily. The actor tripped over the edge first since his cock was rubbing between their stomachs and he painted them white. Jeongguk’s hips stuttered and he came deep inside the older. They stayed pressed together for god knows how long, kissing and caressing every inch of each other’s skin.As expected, they didn’t go to sleep, they took a shower together and then Taehyung was watching Jeongguk pack the remaining stuff. His stomach was already tighter when he was watching the filling suitcase.They went down to the back door of the hotel where they were supposed to meet the others and where the car was waiting for them. It was only six a.m. and they were both sleepy and exhausted but the prospect of what was coming in only few minutes was keeping them awake.The other members were already there while the managers were taking their suitcases to the car. The members had to go all together and quickly to the car so they were waiting.Taehyung came to them to say proper goodbye. He hugged Namjoon and Seokjin first, looking at them with a smile: “Take care of each other, okay?”“Always,” Namjoon nodded with a smile.“You two don’t cause too much trouble,” the actor grinned at Hoseok and Yoongi.“We? Never!” Hoseok grinned back innocently.“Right, I know you two crazies together,” Taehyung laughed and gave them both a big hug. Then he went to Jimin and hugged him tightly.“See you soon, Jiminie, hopefully. I am gonna miss you,” Taehyung whispered.“I’m gonna miss you too but I hope we are keeping our tradition with late night FaceTimes at least once a week,” Jimin frowned at him.“Of course we are, what I’d do without them?” Taehyung grinned back at him and brought him for another tight hug.“Take care of him, okay?” the actor whispered only for Jimin to hear.“Of course,” Jimin whispered back, giving Taehyung’s back a reassuring pat. Then it was Taehyung’s turn to say goodbye to Jeongguk. He hated this more than anything, no matter how many times they’ve been through it before.The other members stepped aside, giving them space and privacy. They’d go to the car but they had to go all together so they had to wait for the maknae.Jeongguk took Taehyung’s hands in his and brought them to his lips, kissing his knuckles. The actor was staring at him emotionally.“I wish you’d go home with us,” Jeongguk said quietly.“Me too,” Taehyung nodded. It was kinda hypocritical of him to say that because he was the one to accept the offer to film in Hong Kong. But it wasn’t a lie, he wished he’d go to Korea, for one (not so little) reason.“Have fun filming. You know I hate saying goodbye but it’s worth it when I know you’re happy,” the younger smiled sadly. The other members were watching their interactions emotionally, it always hurt them seeing the two like this.“You have fun touring, try to enjoy it as much as possible and take care of yourself. Eat properly and be careful not to get hurt,” the actor put his hands on Jeongguk’s chest and played with laces of his hoodie. He could feel the tears burning in his eyes, he was hoping he would hold himself back and cry only when they leave but he never did.“I’ll miss you so much,” Jeongguk took his cheeks into his palms and made him look at him.“I’ll miss you too,” Taehyung peeped with choked up voice as the tears started rolling down his cheeks. Jeongguk tried to brush them away with his thumbs but to no use, there were too many. So instead he brought their lips together and kissed the actor deeply.“I hate this,” Jimin mumbled to Hoseok standing next to him.“Me too,” Hoseok sighed, watching the heart wrenching scene in front of them. They saw this scene so many times and he wondered how many more there will be. No drama could compete with this.Taehyung and Jeongguk separated from the kiss after a minute and rested their foreheads together, holding onto each other till the last minute.“See you again soon, angel, okay?” Jeongguk whispered. Taehyung nodded because he didn’t trust his voice right now. The maknae kissed his forehead and let go of him.Taehyung turned around to watch the group leave. He had to clasp a hand over his mouth to prevent sobs coming out as he was watching the maknae’s back. This is what he chose, he chose his career over Jeongguk a long time ago so why did it always hurt so much? He thought that seeing the other leave will get easier with time but the truth was that every time he was watching Jeongguk walking away from him, he felt like another piece of his heart was leaving with the idol.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
Taehyung returned to his apartment that he was living in while in Tokyo. He was leaving in three days and he had to pack everything but right now he couldn’t bring himself to it. He was exhausted, but not even physically because of the sleepless night, but mostly mentally because of the stress and pain that were always coming with Jeongguk’s departure.Every time they saw each other after months and then said goodbye, Taehyung was questioning all his life decisions. He was questioning his decision to put his career first and take jobs outside of Korea and he was questioning his whole relationship with Jeongguk. He couldn’t take it back, what happened, happened and he never regretted meeting the singer but things would be so much easier if they never got involved together. They were young and reckless, making way freely for their lust and desires without thinking about the future and consequences.Two years ago, when they parted their ways for good, Taehyung was determined to put everything with Jeongguk behind, start a new life and forget about the singer but he just couldn’t. It worked for a while but anytime he saw him, everything they’ve been through together and all the emotions just came rushing back to him and he couldn’t stay away from the younger.It became their tradition. Anytime they were reunited, they put everything aside. It didn’t matter where they were, what they were doing or who they were with. When they saw each other, it was just the two of them and they always tried to make the best out of the time they had together, even though it left them both little bit broken afterwards. Taehyung knew deep in his heart that Jeongguk was the love of his life but he didn’t want to give up on his dreams and he didn’t want the younger to do it either because of him.Now Taehyung was moving to Hong Kong to work on a new TV show and he was wondering what life had in store for him now. He was also wondering when he will see Jeongguk again and when that happens, if they will continue where they left of today or if they will be different people with different lives. That was the question that was always there.Taehyung went to take a shower and decided to take at least a short nap to be fresh and pack in the afternoon. When he got out of the shower and brushed his hair and watched himself in the mirror, he remembered how and when it all truly started.
FLASHBACK
Taehyung had no damn idea where he was. Minjae, one of his colleagues who he was currently filming with, brought him to some party in an apartment that he’s never been in before. He didn’t even know who was throwing this party and who was gonna be there.As soon as they entered, they were met with overcrowded place with people chatting, drinking, dancing and laughing. Taehyung was very sociable but he still didn’t feel very comfortable because he knew that Minjae will leave him at some point of the evening, so he just hoped to either run into some familiar face or to make new friends really quickly.He had no idea how quickly his prayers would be heard when he saw a mop of mint hair.“Yoongi-hyung!” Taehyung exclaimed loud enough to over-scream the music. The rapper turned to look at him and his eyes widened in surprise when he spotted him.“Tae! Damn, what are you doing here?” Yoongi greeted the actor with a warm hug. Taehyung had no idea why people though Yoongi was cold when he’s always been so nice to him.“Well, a friend dragged me here, I don’t even know who is throwing this party,” Taehyung laughed.“Well, surprise, this is actually our party, our dorm. Welcome!” the rapper chuckled.“Wait, what? This is really your dorm? Damn!” the actor gasped: “Wait so the other boys are here?”“Sure, they are here somewhere,” Yoongi nodded and then added with a smirk: “The last time I saw Jeongguk, he was dancing in the living room.” Taehyung blushed at the remark. He knew that the members knew about his and Jeongguk’s occasional hook-ups. They never went all the way and it happened only four times or so but still. It’s been actually maybe half a year since he saw the singer for the last time.“Here, have some drink and enjoy!” Yoongi pushed a glass of whatever into his hand. It was colourful and it looked nice so Taehyung shrugged and decided to trust the older.Only a minute later, Namjoon and Seokjin walked into the kitchen, attached to each other’s hip. Taehyung noticed that they were holding hands before they separated them.“Tae!” Seokjin exclaimed happily and rushed to hug him. The leader hugged him too.“What a pleasant surprise,” Namjoon smiled warmly. Taehyung really missed them all, he always felt so nice with them.“Did I miss something?” Taehyung looked between the two with a raised eyebrow and cheeky smirk.“Well…” Namjoon scratched the back of his head.“We kinda got together,” Seokjin replied nonchalantly.“Oh my god, that’s amazing! I always shipped you guys,” the actor grinned happily.“We need to catch up, I’ll call the others here in the kitchen since the rest of the apartment is packed,” Namjoon offered.“No, let me find them, I wanna surprise them,” Taehyung stopped him and took a big gulp of his drink: “You just wait here, I’ll get them here.”He went to the living room where the rest most probably was and he was right. Jimin and Hoseok were playing some game with some people that Taehyung didn’t know. He stood there for a minute with crossed arms, waiting for one of them to notice him.“Fuck, I am either drunker than I thought or this is the best surprise of the evening,” Hoseok gasped when he finally noticed the actor.“TaeTae!” Jimin shrieked when he noticed who his fellow member was looking at. He jumped on his feet from the couch, almost flipping a table in the process and rushed to hug him. Taehyung stumbled under the force that Jimin’s body crashed to his but he hugged him back happily. They actually exchanged numbers and texted quite often. The more he knew Jimin, the more he liked him and they were quite good friends at this point.“Let’s go to the kitchen, Joon-hyung, Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung are already there. We need to catch up,” Taehyung informed them after he hugged also Hoseok.“Where’s Gukkie?” the oldest of the three looked around.“I’ll go find him. Wanna surprise him,” Taehyung smiled.“Don’t surprise him too much or you won’t ever make it to the kitchen. Leave that for later, okay?” Jimin poked his ribs with a smirk and Taehyung gave him a glare.Taehyung watched the two disappearing in the kitchen and then turned his eyes to bunch of people dancing in the corner. His smile grew big when he saw the familiar face. Jeongguk looked pretty much the same like the last time he saw him, but again, he looked more mature and more handsome. Taehyung briefly wondered when the singer will stop getting so hot because it was already quite too much.“I always loved that waist of yours,” Taehyung sneaked behind Jeongguk, put his hands on his waist and whispered to his ear. Jeongguk turned around with wide eyes and gasped when he recognized the actor.“Tae!” Jeongguk brought him into a bone crushing hug, smiling widely: “What the hell are you doing here?”“A friend of mine dragged me here, I didn’t know this was your party until I met Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung grinned happily.“Wow, it’s been so long,” the maknae shook his head in disbelieve.“Too long,” the actor nodded and tugged on Jeongguk’s hand: “The others are waiting in the kitchen, we wanna catch up little bit.” Jeongguk didn’t have to be told twice and followed the older to the kitchen.“So Tae, what are you up to now?” Hoseok asked when they were all sitting on top of kitchen counters with drinks in their hands. They talked about how they’ve been and casual stuff. The party was still going on but no one seemed to care that the hosts of it were nowhere to be found.“Well, I am finishing a movie in a month and then I am moving. I got a job in the US,” Taehyung announced.“Wow, really? That’s amazing, what kind of job?” Jimin exclaimed and looked little bit offended that Taehyung didn’t text him this news.“It’s not actually acting, it’s modelling. It’s like kind of a tour around the states doing fashion shows and stuff,”“Well, I am not surprised, you are more gorgeous by day,” Jeongguk muttered with a smirk into his bottle of beer. The other members laughed while the actor blushed like crazy. Compliments from Jeongguk always left him flustered, especially when they came right in front of everybody. Taehyung was always surprised by Jeongguk’s nonchalance when on the outside he looked like quiet and shy guy. But well, he knew better by now. Jeongguk was anything but shy.“Yeah, it’s actually for several months so I’ll be mostly out of Korea, only visiting occasionally. I am kinda nervous because I’ve never been abroad for so long but I am also really excited,” Taehyung quickly picked up the conversation.“It’s good to hear that you are doing so well, you deserve it,” Namjoon smiled with a raised beer.“Thanks, hyung,” the actor smiled gratefully: “You are not doing bad either. I am watching everything about you, congrats for the recent wins and album sales, that’s so amazing!”“Thanks, it is exhausting sometimes, but it’s so worth it,” Seokjin chuckled.“You deserve every piece of it, you’ve worked so hard and your music is amazing. And I gotta say, you have amazing fans, some of them tweet me sometimes and they are great and hilarious,” Taehyung laughed and then he remembered his previous surprise and looked over at two members: “Anyway, Jin-hyung and Joon-hyung, wow!” “Oh, so you heard already?” Hoseok snickered.“I didn’t hear anything, I saw it. I doubt they would tell me anything,” Taehyung pouted.“Sorry, Tae, it’s nothing personal, we need to be careful, you know how these things are,” Namjoon looked at him apologetically.“I know, hyung, but I am from the business, you can trust me,” the actor protested.“We know, Tae, don’t take it personally,” Seokjin hugged him.“Namjin ship is sailing, if only the fans knew,” Hoseok laughed teasingly.“Everyone would go crazy,” Taehyung nodded in agreement.“Anyway, who wants some shots?” Hoseok exclaimed and without waiting for an answer, he opened a bottle of soju.Half an hour and few shots of soju later, they were all dancing in the living room, enjoying themselves. Seokjin was whining about how it was not fair that Taehyung could dance better than him when he was not even an idol.It was after midnight and some people already left so the dorm wasn’t that packed but there were still a lot of people, most of them completely smashed.Sometime later, Taehyung and Jeongguk started dancing together, shamelessly grinding on each other, not paying attention to anyone around them. Another ten minutes later, they were full on making out in the middle of the room, surrounded by people. The other members left a while ago, it was just them.Jeongguk dragged Taehyung into a hallway where they were making out against the wall for a while before he dragged him into the bathroom, locking the door behind them. He’d take him into his and Namjoon’s room but he saw like twenty minutes ago the leader and Seokjin going there and he didn’t want to risk walking in on them. Again.Jeongguk lifted Taehyung up so the actor was sitting on the sink counter. The maknae stood between his legs as they were kissing hungrily, grinding their erections together.“Fuck, I missed this,” Jeongguk confessed breathlessly.“Me too,” Taehyung whimpered, his mind was already hazy. It didn’t take long for Jeongguk to pull Taehyung’s cock from his pants and jerk him off.“Wait, wait…” Taehyung stopped the younger with hand on his wrist and pulled away from the kiss. Jeongguk looked at him questioningly, he didn’t understand why the older wanted to stop now.“I want you, all the way,” Taehyung breathed out, looking Jeongguk straight in the eyes.“Are you sure?”“Fuck, yeah, I’ve wanted this for so long,” Taehyung nodded. He nibbled at Jeongguk’s earlobe and whispered: “I don’t want any quick, sloppy hand job. I want you to fuck me.” The maknae groaned at the bold confession.“Have you been thinking about me fucking you a lot, baby?” Jeongguk looked at the other with dark, lustful eyes and glued his mouth to Taehyung’s neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses.“God, yes,” Taehyung confessed with a moan, enjoying the attention his neck was receiving. Jeongguk then opened the drawer and pulled out a lube and condoms. Taehyung didn’t even ask why they had those items just lying in a bathroom because right now he was very thankful for that.They undressed each other quickly, not wasting any time, too far gone with arousal. They’ve came very far from sloppy kisses by the pool, almost two years ago. Neither of them was a virgin anymore, they were seeing other people in between their hook-ups and they weren’t that inexperienced anymore.Jeongguk pressed his finger, coated in lube, to Taehyung’s entrance. The older whined at the contact. He only felt Jeongguk there once before and ever since he couldn’t stop thinking about how it’d feel to feel the younger inside.Jeongguk teased his entrance for a while until Taehyung was squirming with impatience and his mouth opened in silent moan when the finger was finally pushed slowly in. Taehyung was almost gone already when he felt Jeongguk’s perfect long finger circling his walls and his legs started shaking when he fucked the finger in and out slowly.Soon the younger added second finger, stretching Taehyung open nicely by scissoring the fingers and thrusting them in and out. Taehyung was a whimpering mess by the time Jeongguk pushed in the third finger and his eyes were rolling back at the sensation. He almost screamed when the fingers brushed his prostate and his mind went hazy when the younger kept fucking his fingers into the same spot over and over again.“Shit, please, Gukkie,” Taehyung moaned impatiently. The younger didn’t hear his plea so Taehyung warned him: “I’m gon-gonna come if you w-will continue.”As much as Jeongguk would want to see the other come undone by only his fingers, he decided to leave this for some other time. Right now, they both needed to move on. He was incredibly hard from the sight in front of him. Taehyung was so fucked out already, his perfect lips swollen, eyes glossy and cheeks flushed.Jeongguk pulled out his fingers and rolled a condom on himself with trembling fingers. He pulled Taehyung down little bit so he was on the edge of the counter and lined himself up with his entrance. They shared a glance, making sure that they both wanted this. There was nothing but lust in their eyes so it was decided, there was no coming back.“Oh my- fuck!” Taehyung cried out brokenly when Jeongguk pushed inside slowly, stretching him perfectly. They were both panting against each other’s mouth as Jeongguk bottomed and they kissed heatedly before the maknae started slowly rocking his hips.“Shit, so tight, so perfect,” Jeongguk mumbled against Taehyung’s shoulder and bit on his collarbone. The actor was holding the maknae’s shoulders for dear life, clinging to him and enjoying every slow and deep thrust.“Gukkie, fuck, harder,” Taehyung choked out. The slow and deep pace was nice but it was not enough. He needed Jeongguk to give it to him fast and hard, just like he imagined probably more times than is healthy.“Fuck, Tae, I wanna destroy you so badly,” Jeongguk groaned and Taehyung nearly passed out at how damn hot that was.“Then do it,” the actor looked him in the eyes with a smirk and yelped when Jeongguk snapped his hips sharply. He picked up the speed quickly, gripping his thighs, digging his fingers in and soon he was pounding into Taehyung with all he’s got.“Just like that, yes, oh god,” Taehyung chanted with blissful expression, moaning and groaning at each perfect thrust that went directly to his magic spot. The sounds of skin slapping against skin were bouncing around the bathroom walls and it was so damn filthy but so, so perfect.“So close,” Taehyung whimpered and brought Jeongguk in for a kiss, gripping the hair on his nape tightly as the younger was fucking him thoroughly.“Me too,” Jeongguk panted against Taehyung’s mouth as they were swallowing each other’s moans and breaths.“Touch me,” the actor pleaded, feeling the familiar heat in his stomach. Jeongguk complied and sneaked one of his hands between their bodies, wrapping his fingers around Taehyung and jerking him off in a rhythm with his fast, powerful thrusts.Taehyung threw his head back with a lewd moan and shot his release over Jeongguk’s hand. The maknae bent down to kiss and suck on Taehyung’s perfectly exposed Adam’s apple as he was still hammering into him, milking the actor’s orgasm and chasing his own. Taehyung was whimpering in pleasure and oversensitivity and Jeongguk finally felt the explosion in his stomach. He groaned and shot into the condom, rutting his hips sloppily, riding his orgasm.“Fuck,” Taehyung breathed out when they both came down from their heights.“Yeah,” Jeongguk nodded with breathless chuckle. They both leaned in at the same time and kissed messily. Yeah, they’ve really came a long way from small, innocent making out session by the hotel pool.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
Jeongguk’s body was aching after the show. They were currently in Europe as the tour went by and after taking a long shower, he settled down on his bed with a beer.It’s been almost three weeks since he saw Taehyung in Japan and his finger was lingering over the actor’s name in his phone, just like couple of times before in those past weeks. It was another of their silent agreements – no texting or calling, at least not often. It would make everything even harder but sometimes Jeongguk wished it wasn’t like that. Sometimes he wanted to see Taehyung’s face or at least hear his voice because that alone could make everything better. But from their previous experience, he knew that it usually made everything worse.There was a knock on the door and Jeongguk invited the person in. Only few seconds later, he saw a blond mop of hair.“Hey, tired after the show?” Jimin smiled lightly at him and sat down on the bed next to the maknae. Jeongguk knew that Jimin was looking after him. He was thankful for that but it was also annoying. He didn’t need some babying, he was a grown-ass man now. On the other hand he couldn’t be really mad at his members for keeping an eye on him, considering some events in the past.“Not really, it’s fine,” Jeongguk shrugged and put down his phone. Jimin eyed the device, he knew what Jeongguk was thinking about.“You drinking, huh?” the blonde asked carefully.“It’s just one beer, chill out,” the maknae rolled his eyes. He understood why the others were concerned when they saw him with a drink in his hand but he was over that stage.“You know I am just worried about you,” Jimin smiled apologetically.“I know, hyung, thanks,” Jeongguk smiled lightly at him.“I talked to him yesterday,” Jimin broke the silence.“How is he doing?”“Fine, yeah. He’s still getting used to Hong Kong but he started filming and it seems like he’s having a good time. He looks good,”“Good,” Jeongguk mumbled. He was genuinely happy that Taehyung was fine and happy but he felt a bit of bitterness because the actor was happy without him.“He misses you too, you know,” Jimin broke the silence after a while as if he could read Jeongguk’s mind.“Yeah, I know,” Jeongguk sighed. He knew he was not alone in this. He just really wanted to pick up the phone and text him right now.“You know I hate that it’s like this between you two. I wish you could just be together,” the older confessed with a sad smile.“I do to. But this is what he chose. I don’t blame him, he wants to follow his dreams and I can understand that since I am doing the same. I just wish it was easier,” the maknae mumbled and fidgeted with the bottle.“I know,” Jimin nodded.“I know I should just let him go, it’d be better for both of us but every time I know I am gonna see him, I can’t think straight. Everything just flies out of window and nothing matters anymore when we are together. I don’t regret meeting him, I just wish we were more careful and less reckless back then before the things got too far,”“I think that it was always meant to happen. I think you’d always end up together,”“But that’s the thing, we weren’t even together,” Jeongguk chuckled bitterly.“You were even though you didn’t put a label on it, you were together,” Jimin protested.“That doesn’t matter, here we are again. Just like always. And everything will go back to normal in couple of weeks, just like it always does,” the maknae shrugged. They both went back to their lives eventually.“Do you wanna come over? Hobi-hyung and Yoongi-hyung are in one room, we are gonna eat some midnight snack and maybe watch a movie,” Jimin offered with hopeful smile.“Yeah, why not,” Jeongguk nodded with a smile and put down the beer.*Taehyung was getting used to the new place. It was always nerve wrenching to move somewhere but it was also exciting and that was what he loved about it. It was great that he had the opportunity to film in different countries, even though there were obvious downsides.They already started filming and he soon found out that the cast and the crew were great. He became friends with pretty much everyone pretty fast and it was easier for him not to think about other stuff, or other people for that matter.When he was home alone, those thoughts were coming back to him, they always did. He was missing the singer so much and when he did, he decided to call Jimin before he could call Jeongguk. Talking to Jimin was helping him, not only he got some information about the maknae and knew that he was alright but he also distracted him, they were usually just chatting about some small unimportant stuff and that was exactly what Taehyung needed.A month into the filming, the producers of the show decided to throw a little party so the actors and crew could get to know each other outside of the set. Taehyung was really excited about the idea, they were going to film together for months so they should get closer, he loved when the atmosphere on set was friendly.“Why so alone?” Taehyung looked up at the voice behind him. He was sitting at the bar, tracing his finger around a glass with a drink.“Well, keep me a company then,” Taehyung smiled and pointed at the stool beside him. Bogum sat down. They were working together a lot, they had a lot of scenes together and Taehyung already knew that the older actor was nice and friendly.“You look great tonight, but that small frown doesn’t suit you,” Bogum spoke up after he ordered one drink for himself and one for Taehyung because his glass was almost empty.“Thanks, I’ll try to smile more then,” the younger actor blushed at the compliment.
FLASHBACK
Taehyung started his modelling tour around the States but whenever he came to Korea, he and Jeongguk would hook up. It wasn’t occasional anymore, the actor usually texted the idol that he was going to be home for couple of days and if Jeongguk’s schedule allowed it, they met and fucked. Sometimes his schedule was too tight so Taehyung came to the company building, Jeongguk sneaked out during dance rehearsals and fucked him in the bathroom.Over the months, they developed quite strong friends with benefits relationship. Sometimes they’d text little bit even when they were apart, it wasn’t all just about sex but they were friends as well. They had a lot in common and ever since the beginning, they were getting on really well so they occasionally talked to know how the other is doing.Jeongguk went to a club with Yugyeom and Bambam to blow off some steam. As idols, they didn’t get to enjoying much normal stuff like high school or college kids so when the opportunity came, they took it.Jeongguk had a good time, chatting with his friends that he hasn’t seen for a long time and drinking little bit when his eyes fell on a dance floor. He thought he was tripping and alcohol was messing with his head because he saw the familiar face. There was Taehyung, looking as gorgeous as ever, swaying his gorgeous hips to the music. The idol had no idea that the actor was in Seoul, last time they texted, Taehyung was moving from States to Australia for couple of months.But what caught Jeongguk’s attention was a guy, dancing with the actor. Taehyung’s back was pressed to the stranger’s chest and they looked like they were having a really good time together. Jeongguk gritted his teeth and downed a shot of vodka. Yugyeom and Bambam were nowhere to be found at the moment anyway so the maknae made his way to the dance floor.“Fun’s over, dude,” Jeongguk growled lowly and yanked the stranger from Taehyung.“What the fuck?” the guy blinked. Taehyung turned around to protest but he gasped in shock when he saw the maknae.“J-Jeonggukie?” the actor stuttered and before he could do anything, Jeongguk was pressed against his back, running his hands over his sides. The guy was long gone.“I didn’t know you were in Seoul,” the singer muttered against the actor’s ear as they were dancing to some r’n’b music. Jeongguk sucked on Taehyung’s neck, leaving small marks.“I-I wanted to text you,” Taehyung moaned quietly at the sensation. Jeongguk could always take him apart in only matter of minutes, no matter how. Right now, all Taehyung could focus were the singer’s hands, roaming over his hips and stomach and Jeongguk’s crotch pressed right against his ass.“Oh did you? Doesn’t look like it,” Jeongguk growled deeply against his ear and nibbled at the earlobe: “It looks to me like you came here to get some dick, baby.”“Jeongguk-“ Taehyung wanted to say something but a moan ripped from his lips when the maknae grinded against his ass hard. He felt his erection right between his cheeks and it was too much. He started grinding his ass back, seeking some contact.“You’re breaking my heart, baby. You know that all you have to do is ask because you know that you won’t find better dick than mine in whole Seoul,” the maknae continued in a deep voice and Taehyung’s head was spinning.“Jeongguk, please,” the actor whimpered, not sure if the singer even heard him.“Why are you even here, trying to get some random dick when we both know than no one can fuck you better than I do,” Jeongguk whispered with dark voice and that sent shivers down Taehyung’s spine. The actor turned in his arms so they were facing each other.“Then do it,” Taehyung whispered breathlessly and that was enough for Jeongguk to crush their lips together in a hungry kiss.Fifteen minutes later, Jeongguk was pounding into Taehyung in one of the stalls in the restroom. The actor’s chest and face were pressed against the stall while Jeongguk’s fingers were digging into his soft hips, fucking him from behind.The stretch was dry because they didn’t have a lube but thankfully Jeongguk had a condom in his wallet. On the other hand, Taehyung really didn’t mind, his insides were burning but it was so damn good, he could feel every powerful thrust even more like this and he was helplessly whimpering against the shaking stall.“Is this good enough for you, huh?” Jeongguk got out through gritted teeth and yanked Taehyung’s head back by his hair, not slowing down his thrusts.“Harder, fuck, Jeongguk ngh,” Taehyung choked out with closed eyes. He was impossibly turned on and almost out of his mind.“As you wish, baby. This will remind you that no one in the whole fucking Korea can give it to you like I do,” the singer growled and pressed Taehyung’s face into the stall, still holding his hair tightly. He put his second hand on the small of the actor’s back and pressed his stomach against the stall so his ass was nicely sticking out. Taehyung felt pain in his lower back but that was only intensifying the pleasure and his hands were helplessly sliding over the stall, trying to find something to ground himself.Taehyung nearly screamed when Jeongguk changed the angle and delivered sharp thrust right to his prostate. He was completely in the younger’s mercy, held down so he couldn’t even move and just take whatever Jeongguk was willing to give him and he fucking loved it. His whole body was shaking from the pleasure as the maknae hammered into him in quick and sharp thrusts. The whole stall was shaking, the sound of skin slapping against skin was filling the whole restroom just like their breaths and moans and they were lucky that no one came in yet. Fucking like this in public was extremely risky, they were up for a huge scandal if someone caught them but neither of them cared right now.“More, Jeongguk, fuck, give it to me,” Taehyung groaned.“So fucking hungry for my cock, can’t get enough, can you?” Jeongguk groaned and bit the back of his neck.“Shit, yes, Gukkie, so hungry for your cock, so good,” the actor nodded feverishly and that snapped something in Jeongguk. He grabbed one of Taehyung’s hips and his other hand gripped his throat, squeezing it, not enough to completely cut off his airways but enough to make the actor gasp for air. Jeongguk gave it all he got, snapping his hips in a punishing speed.“Oh my g-“ Taehyung choked out and Jeongguk’s hand on his throat tightened. The actor’s head was spinning due to the lack of oxygen and the thrusts that the singer was delivering and his mind went hazy.An orgasm hit him like a train, his body convulsed and then froze. His mouth fell open in silent scream as everything in his stomach exploded and he came hard all over the stall without his cock being touched once.“Jesus christ,” Jeongguk groaned when Taehyung clenched around him so tight that he couldn’t almost move. He snapped his hips sloppily couple more times before he came into the condom, biting on Taehyung’s shoulder to muffle his moans.They stayed pressed together, panting, for couple of minutes, both sweaty and out of their minds.They left the club together and went to the Bangtan’s dorm where they went for round two. Jeongguk fucked Taehyung into the sheets until the actor was a sobbing mess.*Taehyung woke up and looked at unfamiliar surroundings. Then he looked at the bed beside him and all the memories of last night came back to him. Not that he was drunk but his mind was so hazy after the two powerful orgasms that it took him a while to remember.He’s never been to Jeongguk’s room and they never slept together in a bed. His whole body was sore after the last night’s events but it was the nice and relaxing kind of sore. It was probably the best sex of his life and that was saying something since he’s had his fair share of sexual partners. He and Jeongguk were both seeing other people when they were apart, they were only fuckbuddies after all. He noticed that he had unfamiliar boxers and t-shirt on and he figured that the maknae must have cleaned him up and dress him after he fell asleep. He was passed out only couple of minutes after his second orgasm, not knowing about the world at all.A shuffling beside him brought him back from his thoughts and he was met with Jeongguk’s sleepy face.“Hey,” the singer rasped out with a small smile. Taehyung felt shivers running down his spine at the sound of Jeongguk’s morning voice. To say that it was probably the hottest thing he’s ever heard was an understatement.“Hi,” Taehyung replied with a grin.“Are you good?”“More than that,” the actor assured him.“You wanna go take a shower? I’ll give you some fresh clothes,” the maknae offered.“Yes, please, I am gross,” Taehyung groaned. He was sticky with sweat and come even though Jeongguk cleaned him up little bit last night.“Ok, be my guest, I showered last night so I’ll go make us some breakfast,” the younger nodded and got up to take out some fresh clothes for the older. Taehyung let himself admire Jeongguk’s body because he was only wearing underwear. He never had a chance to take a proper look at him, mostly when they fucked, it was quick so they didn’t even bother with getting undressed and now Taehyung thought that it was a damn shame because the singer’s body was mouth-watering.“The others are here?” Taehyung asked when he got up from the bed and stretched his sore body.“Yeah, they are. We don’t have schedule today so they are probably still sleeping,” the maknae confirmed and then added with a smirk: “Be prepared, they will be bitching about last night. You were pretty loud.”“Sorry for enjoying the rimming of my life,” Taehyung exclaimed. Jeongguk laughed.“Not only the rimming. You were literally screaming for me to fuck you into the mattress if I recall correctly,” the maknae winked smugly.“Don’t be so full of yourself, any dick could do the same job,” the actor stuck out the tongue.“Maybe but you went home with me and it was my dick that you were begging for,” Jeongguk shrugged nonchalantly, the smug grin never leaving his face.“Whatever, just give me the clothes,” Taehyung muttered and grabbed the items from Jeongguk.Jeongguk was in the kitchen making breakfast not only for himself and Taehyung but for the others as well as a small apology. He was humming a song so he didn’t notice someone coming into the kitchen.“You motherfucker, I told you several times before to keep it down when you bring somebody home,” Jimin growled behind him with bags under his eyes. Jeongguk was occasionally bringing one-night stands to the dorm, just like the rest of them, and sometimes the things got wilder and the members weren’t happy about it because it was taking the precious sleep from them.“Sorry,” Jeongguk grinned but the tone of his voice was saying that he was not sorry at all.“Don’t blame him, Jiminie, it’s my fault,” a voice from behind Jimin said and the vocalist yelled in surprise.“What the f-“ Jimin grumbled but his eyes grew big when he turned around and saw his friend: “Tae!” He exclaimed and crushed the actor in a hug.“What the hell? I didn’t know you were here?” Jimin started at his friend in shock.“I didn’t either, we bumped into each other in a club,” Jeongguk jumped in so Jimin wouldn’t accuse them of getting together behind the other members’ backs.“Seriously, Guk, what the fuck,” they heard low grumbling from the hallway and few seconds later Yoongi walked in. He had the same surprised reacting when he saw the young actor and didn’t manage to say anything before Taehyung threw himself at him for a hug.The remaining three members were just as surprised with Taehyung’s presence as Yoongi and Jimin and everyone forgot about the sleepless night. They ate breakfast together and since they had no schedule that day, Taehyung stayed in their dorm till the evening. They were just chatting, playing some games and eating the whole day, catching up after months of not seeing the actor. Taehyung felt so nice and warm, being surrounded by the people that he got to know quite well in the past three years. Despite not seeing each other very often, they were always able to start where they left off the last time and Taehyung felt strangely at home with them by his side.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
Taehyung was at a dinner in a nice restaurant with Bogum. This was their fifth date. At the party, they started talking more and Taehyung realized that they had a lot in common and that he really liked the older actor’s company. It was a bit risky to date a person he was working with but he believed that even if things didn’t work out between them, they could act like two adults and keep it professional.The dinner was really nice and Taehyung had a great time, laughing most of the evening. Suddenly his phone started ringing and he took it out with slight annoyance. As soon as he saw the caller ID, his heart dropped little bit. He was tempted to just ignore the call, but he was worried that it was something important or serious since Jeongguk hardly ever called him when they were apart.“Will you give me a minute? I gotta answer this,” Taehyung looked apologetically at his company.“Of course, no rush,” Bogum smiled at him encouragingly and watched the younger rush out to the corridor of the restaurant.“Hello?” Taehyung answered with trembling voice.“Tae,” Jeongguk on the other line breathed out.“Is everything okay? Did something happen?” the actor asked with worry.“Um, no, I just…I wanted to hear your voice,” the maknae admitted and Taehyung felt a pang in his chest at his words.“Gukkie…”Taehyung sighed.“I hope I am not interrupting anything, I just wanted to hear you, that’s all,” Jeongguk got out quietly. Taehyung closed his eyes with a sigh. It was almost three months since their last reunion in Tokyo and Taehyung was finally able to get the idol out of his head. Not completely of course, he never could, but he was fine again. Until now. No matter what, whenever he heard Jeongguk’s voice, everything stopped existing around him.“I am…I am actually on a date, so…” Taehyung admitted. They were allowed to see other people, that was their agreement but saying it out loud was making it awkward and painful. It was their silent agreement not to talk about their other partners or hook-ups.“Oh, okay, I’m sorry,” the younger stuttered, obviously surprised and emotional.“It’s okay, Gukkie. I am sorry for telling you like this,”“No, it’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong. Sorry for calling unexpectedly, I should’ve texted or something,” Jeongguk quickly said and then added: “I just wanted to tell you that we are gonna be in Hong Kong in two weeks for MAMAs and I was hoping to see you.”Taehyung bit his lip and held back a sigh. Of course they are gonna be there, they were probably nominated for shit tons of awards as always for the past few years, probably even for daesang that Taehyung was presenting.“Yeah, well I’ll be there, presenting the daesang,” the actor confessed. They’d find out eventually so there was no point in keeping it from Jeongguk or the other members. He completely forgot about it and about the possibility of presenting the award to them.“Well, then hopefully we’ll meet on the stage,” Jeongguk laughed.“I hope so, I hope you win,” Taehyung smiled warmly. He will always support Bangtan, no matter what and he really wished for them to win the award.“Anyway, I won’t keep you from your date. See you in two weeks, angel,” Jeongguk spoke up softly after a minute of silence. Taehyung closed his eyes when he heard the pet name that only Jeongguk called him.“See you, Gukkie,” Taehyung replied in choked up voice and hung up. He didn’t immediately return to Bogum, he had to calm down his breathing and emotions. Every time he thought that he could move on and live somewhat normal life, Jeongguk always came back and flipped Taehyung’s world upside down. He had no idea what he was going to do when he sees the singer in two weeks. But he knew what he will feel, just like he always did.*The two weeks went by much faster than Taehyung expected and the evening of MAMAs was here. He was nervous but not because of the presenting, he’s had enough experience with this kind of stuff over the years. He was excited of course to see his friends and Jeongguk but he was also flustered. He didn’t know how to face Jeongguk this time and he didn’t know how he will be able to hold back once he sees him. He never could.He hasn’t met BTS the whole ceremony, not on the red carpet, not even backstage despite the group performing there. He only saw them in the audience and his heart started beating fast. Jeongguk was there, looking like the god he was in a neat black suit and black dress shirt, with his black hair parted on forehead. He didn’t stop getting hotter over the years and that wasn’t making anything easier for Taehyung. Despite growing up into a young man, Taehyung still saw that little kid in him that he met more than six years ago. He was pretty sure that Jeongguk will be his doom one day.He watched them perform couple of songs on the stage, as always mesmerized by their professionalism and precision. He couldn’t tear his eyes from Jeongguk, he had such a strong stage presence and he remembered how those six years ago his dancing caught his eye. Nothing changed since then, if anything, Jeongguk got even better and hotter.BTS won several smaller awards to Taehyung’s delight and finally the event was almost over. It was his turn to present the daesang, he really hoped to hand it to BTS, they deserved it.Jeongguk was giddily watching the stage when the time for daesang came. It’s been more than three months since he saw Taehyung and that wasn’t that long ago but his heart still nearly stopped when the actor came on stage and walked to the microphone. He looked as gorgeous as ever. His hair was brown and little bit longer on his nape, his make-up was emphasizing his already beautiful features and he was rocking a simple Gucci suit with a silky blue shirt and Jeongguk couldn’t tear his eyes from him.The video, presenting the nominees came on, presenting the groups. Yoongi pinched Jeongguk in the thigh: “Try to be more subtle and stare less, we are gonna be on camera.” the oldest rapper whispered. Jeongguk tore his eyes from the actor and smiled to the camera when the video announced them.Taehyung started talking about the award to make suspense. All the members were silently praying for the win but Jeongguk couldn’t focus on that. He was completely immersed in the deep soothing voice. Not that he wouldn’t care about winning but right now he wanted to win especially because that meant they will go on stage to Taehyung. He wanted to kiss him really badly, right in front of everyone, for everyone to see but that was of course impossible.“And the winner is…” Taehyung spoke up and made a dramatic pause, taking out a card from envelope. He checked it out and his smile grew wide: “Bangtan Sonyeondan.”The six members jumped to their feet happily and went into a group hug. Taehyung was watching them with a huge smile on his face and watched as they were making their way towards him. He was still nervous but at the moment just really excited. As soon as they approached him, he handed the award to Namjoon and a bouquet to Seokjin and hugged each member, murmuring his congratulations. Fans were screaming like crazy, not only because of the win but because of the interaction. By now, everyone knew that Taehyung and BTS were good friends and people loved seeing them interact together.“I missed you,” Jeongguk mumbled against Taehyung’s ear when they hugged but they had to break it quickly. Jimin started the speech with Namjoon following and saying also couple of words in English. After that, they all went backstage together.“I am so happy for you, I didn’t doubt you’d win,” Taehyung babbled happily, hugging the members once again.“It’s so good to see you again, kiddo,” Hoseok chuckled when the actor hugged him for like third time.“I hope you are going to the after party. We usually don’t attend these events but we will make an exception. There are a lot of people that we’d like to see,” Seokjin patted Taehyung’s back.“I couldn’t miss that,” the actor smiled. His gaze fell to Jeongguk for a second, noticing that the maknae was watching him intently. Taehyung gulped, he had no idea how he will get through the night.The after party was good, Taehyung was catching up with BTS members and chatted with other idols as well. He’s always been very sociable and friendly so he knew a lot of people from the music industry even though he wasn’t even part of it.He was trying to avoid Jeongguk. He could feel his body and mind aching for him, it was like a need planted deep inside him. He couldn’t help it but watch him the whole night. No matter who he was talking to, his gaze was always slipping to the maknae who was never far away. He knew Jeongguk was watching him too.He was completely torn, his whole being just wanted to jump at Jeongguk, to kiss him, to feel him but it was different this time. He was with Bogum now and even though they were together for only couple of weeks, he was actually happy with him and he didn’t want to cheat on him. But that was what always happened. Taehyung wasn’t proud of it but Jeongguk was his weakness. Whenever he saw him, it didn’t matter if he was with someone else, at that moment it was always only Jeongguk. But he didn’t want it this time, he really liked Bogum, he was there in Taehyung’s life now, he knew that he won’t leave him in few days.All his plans flew out of the window when he went to the restroom and on his way back, Jeongguk surprised him in a corridor. The younger caged him between his body and a wall and as soon as their lips met in a deep kiss, Taehyung stopped thinking about anything. His mind was occupied by Jeongguk only and all he could focus on were his lips against his own and his hands roaming over his body.They were kissing desperately, drinking each other in like it was more than three months. Taehyung will never fully understand the effect Jeongguk has on him. His mind was getting hazier with each kiss and each touch, it was just him and the singer, the rest of the world stopped existing.“I missed you so much, angel,” Jeongguk mumbled breathlessly against Taehyung’s lips and glued their mouths together again. Taehyung couldn’t even think coherently at the moment, especially hearing the pet name that could always make his knees weak.But then, after few more minutes, something finally snapped him back.“Wait, Gukkie, wait…” Taehyung pushed the younger away from him.“What is it?” Jeongguk looked at him with confusion.“I can’t do this. I am actually seeing someone…” Taehyung confessed.“Well, that never stopped you before,” the singer shrugged and went in for another kiss. Their lips barely brushed before Taehyung pushed him away again.“It’s different this time. I really like him and I don’t wanna cheat on him,” the actor looked at the other apologetically. He didn’t want to hurt Jeongguk but he didn’t want to hurt Bogum either.“Is that the guy you were on a date with when I called you two weeks ago?”“Yeah…” Taehyung trailed off. He didn’t want to tell Jeongguk the details, talking about it was painful enough but he needed him to understand that it is different this time: “We’ve been going out for over a month and I really like him.”“Oh, I see,” Jeongguk nodded slowly and let go of Taehyung’s hips. The older immediately missed his touch.“Gukkie, don’t be mad,” Taehyung pouted.“Mad about what? That only two months after Tokyo you go on and start dating some dude while all I can think about is you?” Jeongguk chuckled joylessly.“Don’t do this to me again, Gukkie,” the actor pleaded.“Do what? I am not doing anything. Are you dating some dude? Okay, fine. You know how I feel about this. Two years ago you left and made me promise you to see other people, to forget you. I never agreed to it, I never wanted it but I tried my best to keep that promise. I’ve been seeing other people but only for sex, I could never be with someone. But obviously you don’t feel the same…”“What do you want me to do?” Taehyung exclaimed with frustration.“You know what I want! I want you to come back to Korea and be with me!” Jeongguk shot back, making the actor flinch.“This is not fair, Gukkie! We’ve been through this conversation before. You know how I feel about you but don’t make me choose between you and my career,” Taehyung mumbled. He was tired of this conversation.“You know what? Fine. I don’t care. Have fun and date him because we both know how this ends anyway,” Jeongguk shrugged: “You will be with him but when the filming is over and you move to some other goddamn country, you will break up with him because that is what you always do. And then you will come back to me because that is how it is.”Taehyung didn’t say anything. Deep down he knew Jeongguk was right. He knew that once his and Bogum’s paths separate, he will end it with him because it wasn’t hard for him to let people go. The only person he couldn’t let go of was Jeongguk.“Anyway, see you in few months or so,” the singer turned on his heel and started walking away.“Gukkie, don’t walk away from me like this. You know I hate it when we fight right before you leave!” Taehyung exclaimed desperately.“We are not fighting, I am just leaving,” Jeongguk shrugged and added: “I know you will come back to me because you can’t let go of me just like I can’t let go of you.”Taehyung was watching Jeongguk’s back as he was walking away. He stood there, with tears burning in his eyes. He hated when Jeongguk left like this. It hurt anytime he watched Jeongguk walk away but after a fight, it was always the hardest. As much as Taehyung wanted to let go of Jeongguk, because it was just too complicated, he knew the singer was right. They just couldn’t let go of each other and he knew that it was just matter of time before they get together, because they always do.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
FLASHBACK
Jimin unlocked the door to the dorm and entered. He could smell some meal and he immediately knew that Seokjin was cooking a dinner. They didn’t have much free time but when they did, he liked cooking and today their schedule was more free so all the members were already home.“Look who is coming with me!” Jimin shouted loudly and held the door for Taehyung to enter.“Tae!” Hoseok, who was the first one to run into the hallway, exclaimed happily and hugged the actor.“What a nice surprise!” Seokjin came rushing in, hugging the actor as well and added: “You’re coming right on time, I am finishing the dinner, you have to eat with us.”“I don’t wanna bother you, hyung,” Taehyung waved his hand dismissively.“Bullshit! I cooked more than just for six so there is enough for you, don’t worry about it,” the oldest member protested.“Wow, look at you, blonde looks great on you!” Hoseok complimented him. His hair was freshly dyed only few days ago.Taehyung greeted also Namjoon and Yoongi when they came in the small hallway. He was stretching his neck to see behind their heads, looking for the last member.“He’s in a shower,” Hoseok informed him with a wink, knowing who Taehyung was looking for. They led him to the apartment, he was here only twice, on the party and then when Jeongguk took him there after they met in the club but it already felt like a familiar place. He helped the others make the table while Seokjin and Jimin were in the kitchen, finishing the dinner.“Tae?” Jeongguk’s voice came from behind Taehyung’s back. The actor turned around and smiled widely when he saw the very familiar face that he was actually missing. They haven’t seen each other for couple of months and Jeongguk looked as great as ever. Right now, his hair was damp from the shower and that only made him look extra good.The singer felt his heart clench at the sight of Taehyung. The blonde looked amazing on him, his hair was little bit longer at the back of his head and Jeongguk swore that he looked even more beautiful than the last time he saw him. He was wondering when will Taehyung stop getting more handsome but he had a feeling that the answer was never.“You not gonna give me a hug?” Taehyung pouted but bit his lip to prevent himself from smiling and that snapped Jeongguk from his thoughts. He smiled at him and closed the gap between them, hugging the actor closely. Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, holding him close, burying his face in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck, smelling the familiar scent.They were texting quite a lot in the past months that they haven’t seen each other and despite the distance between them – since Taehyung was in Australia this whole time – he felt like they were closer than before. They got to know each other much better than in the past few years and Taehyung was really excited to see the singer.They all sat down and ate the delicious dinner. Then they went to the living room, opening some beers so they could catch up.“And how is my favourite couple doing?” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows at Namjoon and Seokjin. From Jimin and Jeongguk, he knew that the two members were still together and going strong but he wanted some confirmation from them. The confirmation alone was that they were currently sitting curled up together, Namjoon’s hand was resting on the headrest of the couch behind Seokjin’s shoulders while one of Seokjin’s hands was resting on the leader’s thigh comfortably.“Good,” Seokjin smiled.“Well, thanks for the spicy details,” the actor rolled his eyes with a laugh.“Believe me, you don’t want the spicy details,” Yoongi made a face.“Oh, some gossip?” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows.“Nah, Yoongi-hyung just walked in on them the other day so he’s still traumatized,” Hoseok laughed and then laughed harder when he saw Yoongi’s glare.“It’s been like three weeks, get over it already!” Seokjin deadpanned, looking at the oldest rapper.“I don’t think I ever will,” Yoongi muttered.“Your problem that you come to my studio without knocking,” Namjoon shrugged.“Well, I thought that when you are in the studio then you are, I don’t know, working?!” Yoongi exclaimed. Jimin and Hoseok were laughing and Taehyung watched the exchange with a grin. He missed them so much, he missed their bickering and the good feeling he had anytime he was with them.“I actually have news,” Taehyung spoke up when the members calmed down. Everyone’s attention was turned to him.“I actually didn’t get any interesting offer so I decided that I could use a little break for couple of months. I’ve been working my ass off for years, doing nothing for a while would be nice, I could just take some MCing or something here and there. Well, the point is that I am moving back to Korea, at least for some time, to catch up with my family, friends and so on,” the actor announced.“Oh my god, that’s amazing!” Jimin jumped at Taehyung excitedly: “Are you gonna stay in Seoul or Daegu?”“Definitely here, I mean, I will go home for some time, yeah but I won’t be staying there. I already rented an apartment, actually not very far from here,”“That’s great, you can come visit us often then!” Seokjin smiled happily. They were in the middle of album recording so they weren’t that busy. They’ll have to start rehearsing new choreography for a comeback in few weeks but at least they weren’t going to travel.“Yeah, that was my thought as well,” Taehyung nodded and his gaze slipped to Jeongguk for a second, seeing the maknae looking at him with small sparkles in his eyes. Taehyung believed that he will be pretty busy even without working. He and Jeongguk never broke their unspoken friends with benefits agreement and Taehyung was actually looking forward to spending some quality sexy times with the singer.His thoughts were confirmed to be right when he went to the bathroom. On his way back he bumped into Jeongguk in the hallway. They never made it back to the others, instead they ended up in Jeongguk’s room where the younger fucked Taehyung into the mattress, just like they both loved it.*Right after Taehyung moved back to Korea, he went to Daegu for two weeks to spend some time with his family. He moved to Seoul from them when he was only sixteen and ever since his career blew up, he usually saw them only couple of weeks per year.Half of the time in Daegu, he spent on his phone texting with Jeongguk. They were usually talking about everyday stuff (even though couple of times they sexted and Taehyung had few great orgasms).When he returned to Seoul and moved in to his newly rented apartment, he started spending a lot of time with BTS members. He was catching up with his other friends as well, but he was mostly with them, not only in their dorm but he was also coming to visit them in the company building, watching them record the album or dancing. He could never get enough of watching Jeongguk dance and when he watched him sing in the recording booth, he was always mesmerized by his beautiful soft voice.The two of them were of course occasionally meeting for a fuck. Right now, they were lying snuggled together in the bed in Taehyung’s apartment. Only half an hour ago, Jeongguk ate Taehyung out thoughtfully, reducing him into a sobbing mess.“We are planning with the guys on going out of the city for a weekend. We thought we could rent some house or cabin somewhere in the countryside and just have nice couple of days. They told me to invite you as well, if you are not busy,” Jeongguk broke the silence between them.“I’d love to go. It’s not a bad idea to spend some time in nature,” Taehyung smiled at him.And so the seven of them left the city. It was the middle of July so they rented a small house with a pool since the weather was going to be warm.Seokjin and Namjoon took one room together while Jimin, Hoseok and Yoongi took the other. That left the third room for Jeongguk and Taehyung since everyone knew what activities they will be definitely doing at night. No one was questioning their “relationship” anymore, they all got used to it throughout the years. It’s been more than three and half years since they met Taehyung and what he and Jeongguk were doing was just part of their everyday lives.The first evening was calm, they just barbecued and drank little bit because they arrived late. They had to get up early that day because Bangtan had some schedule in the morning and afternoon so they were tired and knew that they will go to sleep early. They decided to spend three nights there so they had two more when they could get little bit wilder.All the members went inside, one by one, saying good night to those who stayed. Hoseok and Jimin left a bit after midnight, leaving Jeongguk and Taehyung alone.“Thank you for inviting me here. Sometimes I feel like the seventh members of the group, you are so nice to me,” Taehyung laughed quietly and sat down on a double chair next to Jeongguk.“You are like the seventh member to us, believe me,” Jeongguk laughed light-heartedly, showing of his teeth and crinkles by his eyes. Taehyung stared at him with a small smile on his lips. He was always thinking about how hot Jeongguk was but he was also incredibly cute. Sometimes he still saw that shy little kid in him, even though he was going to be twenty next month and he was a grown ass man now.Jeongguk caught Taehyung’s gaze a looked back at him, smiling slightly. Then he broke the silence quietly: “I am happy you went with us.”“I am too,” Taehyung nodded. The singer brought his hand to cup the actor’s cheek, brushing it lightly with a thumb. Taehyung’s eyes fluttered shut at the feeling and pressed his cheek instinctively into the touch.When he opened his eyes, Jeongguk’s face was closer. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest. They were sitting close to the pool and Taehyung remembered the time almost three years ago, on Jeongguk’s birthday when they kissed for the first time. How hesitant, inexperienced and nervous they were. A lot has changed since then but right now, he felt like that eighteen years old kid again.Taehyung’s breath hitched in his throat when Jeongguk closed the gap between them and kissed him softly, almost hesitantly which was kinda ironic, considering everything that has happened between them over the years but right now, when they were illuminated by the moon and the water in the pool was sending flickering lights everywhere, it was kinda perfect.Their kiss deepened and soon they were making out lazily, pressed closely together. It never got heated and rough like the kisses they’ve shared usually before the sex but Taehyung somehow loved it more.*They all got up only before noon and spent the whole afternoon by the pool. Taehyung was laughing his ass off as he was watching Jeongguk and Hoseok annoying Yoongi. The oldest rapper was grumbling, he wanted to just lay in the shadow and rest but the maknae and the youngest rapper didn’t give him his peace and they were all laughing so hard when the two, with the help of Jimin, threw Yoongi into the pool and the rapper showered them with curses.Taehyung was watching Jeongguk this whole time. There were so many sides of the maknae, right now the playful one was coming out in its full glory and it was endearing. Taehyung was slowly uncovering all the sides of Jeongguk over the years, from the shy and cute one, the sexy, confident and professional one while he was performing, the hot and dominant one when they were fucking, the nice and considerate one, to the playful and goofy one that he was showing right now. And Taehyung loved all those sides equally.In the evening, they were barbecuing again, this time with more alcohol. Taehyung didn’t remember when was the last time he had this much fun in a single day but that was nothing unusual with the six members. He was kinda envious of them really – they had each other, they were almost never alone, they had so much fun whether they were working or had free time. They were really like a family and he was glad that they took him in. Sometimes he wished he’d see them more, he was wondering what it’d be like if he was taking jobs only in Korea. He was sometimes even wondering if his relationship with Jeongguk would grow into something more if they were spending more time together because he felt that the longer he was with the maknae, the more he liked him and it sometimes scared him. It was crazy how connected to Jeongguk he felt despite not seeing each other most of the year.Just like the previous evening, also this one the other members left until it was just Taehyung and Jeongguk.“Wanna go for a night skinny dipping?” Jeongguk suggested with a playful smirk.“Why not?” Taehyung chuckled. It was just the moonlight and the pool light again, no other lights around. The house was quiet and dark and the surroundings as well since they picked a house without any neighbours.They both stripped down until they were naked. Taehyung let himself admire Jeongguk in his naked glory for couple of seconds, his body was getting broader and tonner the older he got and to say that he was visually pleasing was an understatement.Soon they were both in the pool, swimming around each other lazily. Taehyung shrieked quietly when Jeongguk grabbed his hand and brought them together. The actor felt his heart beating hard in his chest when Jeongguk’s chest pressed against his and their faces were only inches apart. The maknae looked gorgeous in the moonlight.Jeongguk closed the gap between them and they started kissing. It was slow and deep at first but it was becoming more urgent and heated with each passing second. Taehyung wrapped his hands around Jeongguk’s waist as the maknae was holding him close with his strong arms wrapped tightly around him.Taehyung felt hot after each kiss and when the singer started kissing his throat, he started letting out tiny moans, rubbing his hands all around Jeongguk’s back, feeling his damp skin under his fingers.“Jeongguk,” Taehyung whimpered with pleasure. The maknae looked at him with intensive look and unreadable expression. They were staring at each other for a while.“Let’s go to the bedroom,” Jeongguk broke the silence with a whisper. Taehyung nodded. As much as he’d enjoy a pool sex, it’d be embarrassing if one of the members accidently walked in on them. So they got out, dried themselves in the towels and disappeared in their shared room.Fifteen minutes later, Jeongguk was lying between Taehyung’s legs, thrusting three fingers in him slowly. Taehyung was writhing in the sheets. Usually when they fucked, it was heated and fast and rough but it was different this time. Jeongguk was taking his time with pleasuring Taehyung, pushing all the right buttons in him and kissing every inch of his body. It was oddly intimate and Taehyung thought that it was the best thing he’s ever experienced.“No condom,” Taehyung stopped Jeongguk’s hand when the younger withdrew his fingers and grabbed the package with the protection.“Are you sure?” Jeongguk looked at his surprised.“I am clean, are you?” Taehyung breathed out. Jeongguk nodded and Taehyung added: “I wanna feel you, only you.” Jeongguk was looking at him with puzzled expression, the actor’s request took him totally off guard but before he could think about it, his head was nodding. He lubed up his erection with trembling fingers and positioned himself between Taehyung’s legs.Their faces were only inches apart and they were holding an eye contact. Taehyung’s mouth fell open when Jeongguk pressed slowly inside him. When the maknae bottomed, they kissed, panting into each other’s mouth.Jeongguk started slowly rocking his hips, moving in and out in a slow pace. Taehyung was squirming with pleasure, he could feel Jeongguk so deep and he felt every drag of his cock inside him and it felt incredible. Their gazes never broke, only when they connected their lips in a kiss.Jeongguk grabbed Taehyung’s hands and brought them up on each side of his head, intertwining their fingers and holding onto him tightly. Taehyung was moaning softly at the intensity of the act and at Jeongguk’s eyes boring into his.“Kiss me, Gukkie,” Taehyung whimpered desperately. It was like his body was aching for any contact with the singer, it was overwhelming. The moment and the way their bodies were moving together was so intensive.Jeongguk complied and leaned down to kiss the actor deeply. Their tongues were moving together lazily as their hands were still intertwined and as Jeongguk was moving slowly in and out. Taehyung was whimpering into the kiss as his erection was rubbing between their stomachs.“Come for me, angel,” Jeongguk whispered when he broke the kiss but their faces were still close that their noses were rubbing together. That was the first time Jeongguk used that pet name with Taehyung and it didn’t leave them ever since.Taehyung came with a moan between their stomachs. Jeongguk followed him soon, spilling his load deep inside Taehyung for the first time. The actor trembled with pleasure at the intensity and the feeling of Jeongguk coming inside him. They stayed pressed together for god knows how long, their bodies sweaty and intertwined as they were kissing lazily.Jeongguk was cupping Taehyung’s cheek, softly rubbing his thumb over it, looking down at him with emotional eyes. Taehyung’s eyes were showing the same emotions. That moment should’ve been their wake up call. If they realized what just happened that night, maybe they would be spared of some pain in the future. In future years, Taehyung was thinking about that moment many times and he came to conclusion that it was inevitable; falling for Jeon Jeongguk was his destiny.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
Taehyung hated when he and Jeongguk separated with bad blood between them. He knew Jeongguk wasn’t mad, he was more hurt and disappointed and that was thousand times worse than if he was just angry at Taehyung. He’s hurt him so many times in the past, it was always him who fucked up and he seriously couldn’t understand how Jeongguk always forgave him and always wanted him. The singer deserved only the best in this world and Taehyung hated himself for putting him through all the pain.He gave Jeongguk space after their reunion at MAMAs, waiting for him to text first but it didn’t happen. When it was a month and he still hasn’t heard from him, he finally snapped and texted him first. Surprisingly, the idol texted back right away and Taehyung knew they were alright. That afternoon, they ended up talking through texts for two hours, talking about small things just like always.After that, things went back to normal between them. They never texted a lot, it was usually just couple of messages a week, talking mostly about how they were doing and stuff but it was enough because it was giving Taehyung a peace.One night, he was almost asleep when his phone buzzed on the bedside table. Bogum was soundly asleep next to him. It’s been two months since MAMAs and three months since he and the older actor started dating and Taehyung was happy with him. Deep down, he knew that he would never be able to give Bogum all of himself, it was simply impossible because half of his heart was owned by certain Jeon Jeongguk.They had a lovely evening, ate a dinner together and then watched a movie in the bed, cuddled together. But then Bogum fell asleep halfway through the movie because he was shooting some physical scenes today so Taehyung finished the movie alone like fifteen minutes ago.He was considering not checking out the phone and leave it for the morning because it was already past midnight and he had to get up early but then a curiosity got the best of him. The screen showed Jeongguk’s name and Taehyung mindlessly opened it.
From Jeonggukie:
Hey angelSorry for texting so lateI just saw the pictures from your new photoshoot and fuckYou look so damn good Taehyung bit his lip after reading those messages. The pet name itself made his stomach do couple of flips and then the compliments. He knew what photoshoot Jeongguk was talking about, he did it couple of weeks ago and it came out today. He looked over at Bogum, making sure that he didn’t wake him up.
To Jeonggukie:
Really? Did you like them?
From Jeonggukie:
Like them?I almost burst a nutThat harness on you should be illegalIt is giving me some ideasI wish I was with you right now so I could tie you to the bed and make you sob into sheets Taehyung blushed. He actually fucking blushed. He didn’t understand why, after all those years of doing several things with the singer, he could still get so flustered only from simple messages. He didn’t want to talk about Bogum but when they texted in the past weeks, he told Jeongguk that they were still together and he needed to know that he was there with him.
To Jeonggukie:
Gukkie…I am not alone
From Jeonggukie:
Oh, is he there with you?He has no fucking idea how lucky he isIf he didn’t fuck you after seeing those photos then it’s opportunity wastedBecause I’d fuck you so good babyGod the things I’d do to youI’d mark you from head to toe just like you love itFuck only thinking about it makes me so hard Taehyung bit his lips harder. Only reading those texts was making his cock twitch in his pyjamas. Jeongguk could always get him worked up even when they were thousand miles apart. He looked over at Bogum. He was feeling so shitty. Here he was, lying next to his current boyfriend, sexting with another guy. But no matter what, he could never resist Jeongguk. He sent a message with trembling fingers.
To Jeonggukie:
What else would you do?
From Jeonggukie:
I’d eat you out properly just like you love it until you were a messThen I would stretch you nice and slow with my fingers so you’d be ready for me Taehyung had to hold back a moan at the mere thought. He was a really, really shitty person. He looked at Bogum again, cursing under his breath. Then he sneaked a hand inside the pyjama pants and wrapped his fingers around his half hard cock. As if Jeongguk could see right through him, he texted him.
From Jeonggukie:
Are you touching yourself baby?
To Jeonggukie:
Yes Taehyung sent the text with a shaky breath, tightening the grip on his cock, stroking it slowly. He felt so damn dirty, jerking himself off to the texts with Jeongguk while another guy was sleeping next to him but it was actually turning him on even more. He was pretty sure that he will go to hell but right now, he couldn’t care less.
From Jeonggukie:
Good, because I’m touching myself tooI’m imagining your hand on meAlways so goodAnywayAfter I’d finger you, I’d tie you down to the headboard, so you’d be lying on your stomachAnd then I’d slowly enter you, fucking into you nice and slow until you’d beg for me to go harder like you always do Taehyung whimpered quietly after reading the last two messages. He was getting more and more worked up with each text. After years of practice in sexting together, Jeongguk always knew what to say to make him a mess within few minutes. The pace of his hand was getting faster.
From Jeonggukie:
And I’d fuck you, so fast and hard until you’d be cryingUntil you’d be sore and complete messI’d be hitting your spot with each thrust, making you scream my name Taehyung threw his head back, trying his hardest to muffle his sounds. He wished he could feel more than just a hand on his leaking cock, he wanted to be filled but that was out of question right now. He was sure that if Jeongguk was within his reach right now, he couldn’t hold himself back like at the MAMAs. It was already a miracle back then that he stopped Jeongguk before they could do something more than just kissing but right now, he really wished Jeongguk was here with him.
From Jeonggukie:
Are you close angel?Because I am, so damn close from only thinking about you under me
To Jeonggukie:
Yes so close
From Jeonggukie:
Go on angel, come for meMake yourself feel good just like I’d make youGod I wish I could be with you right nowWatching you comeYou are so beautiful when you come with my name on your lips Taehyung’s thighs shook as he was jerking himself off quickly. The wet sounds were filling the quiet room and he knew he should be worried about Bogum waking up but he couldn’t care less right now. All he could think about was Jeongguk. Jeongguk above him, his sweaty and focused face, biting his lip as he was fucking him fast and hard. Taehyung bit his lip to prevent himself from moaning and came over his hand with a low groan at the back of his throat.He was panting for couple of seconds. When he took the phone back to his hand, he got the message telling him that Jeongguk finished off too. He sent him a quick good night text and went to the bathroom. He washed his hand thoughtfully, looking at himself in the mirror. He was honestly probably the shittiest person to ever walk on the Earth. He just jerked off to sexts with another guy while lying next to a person he was dating for three months. But when it came to Jeongguk, he never felt any remorse.
FLASHBACK
The group and Taehyung returned to Seoul after few days away. They were relaxed but they had to get back to work. Even Taehyung had few photo shoots, commercials and was host MC of couple of shows. They were still seeing each other pretty often though, Taehyung was spending basically his all free time in the Bangtan dorm, hanging out with the guys and mostly Jeongguk.One weekend in August, the two of them decided to go on a one day trip somewhere to nature. Jeongguk took the car and they drove out of Seoul, listening to music and singing together. Jeongguk was pleasantly surprised to hear that Taehyung had a nice, soulful voice, telling him that he could’ve become an idol if he chose a different career. Taehyung told him to shut up because he was not that good and he was also not a skilled dancer.They parked the car on some field and went to walk in the woods. It was a nice Sunday afternoon and they didn’t meet anyone, it was so quiet and so peaceful.“It is funny how we are living the best lives, lives that millions of people dream of yet we forget to appreciate simple things,” Taehyung broke the comfortable silence.“Like what?” Jeongguk looked at him with interest. He could just listen to Taehyung talk for hours, about anything.“Like this, the woods, the nature,” the actor smiled: “When was the last time you went for a walk just for the sake of walking? Without any aim? Just walking and enjoying the things around you? The trees, the air, the birds singing.”“I don’t even remember,” Jeongguk confessed with a chuckle.“Me neither,” Taehyung admitted and continued with his contemplation and Jeongguk was watching him and listening with a small smile. Taehyung was so beautiful, especially now, in the dim light of the rays of sun shining through the leaves. And he was so smart and passionate when he talked about simple things. Jeongguk was really fascinated by him.The singer sneaked his hand to Taehyung’s and intertwined their fingers together. Taehyung blushed at the small gesture but let Jeongguk hold his hand as they continued walking mindlessly. When they made it to the car few hours later, the sun was already setting and they were still holding hands.*Taehyung and Jeongguk were chilling in the living room in the dorms. The other guys were out, Yoongi was in his studio, Hoseok and Jimin were in the dance studio and Seokjin and Namjoon went out on a date.They were just watching movies, having a Harry Potter marathon the whole afternoon and evening and they were stuffing their faces with junk food until there was almost nothing left in the dorm.“I am still kinda hungry,” Taehyung chuckled and looked at Jeongguk who lied with his arms wrapped around him.“We could go out to get something,” the singer suggested.“It’s almost midnight, I doubt we’ll find something. Plus we shouldn’t just wander around, people would easily recognize us,” the actor protested.“There is a place few streets away, they are opened the whole night and they have perfect midnight snacks. There are usually not many people around this time and when we take masks, we are good,” Jeongguk assured him, got up from the couch and stretched a hand to him: “Come on.”Taehyung bit his lip but then he took the hand and let Jeongguk pull him to his feet. Five minutes later, they left the apartment and fifteen minutes later, they were sitting in a booth in the corner, with the food in front of them.Taehyung got a big sundae, he was sure that it had more calories than what he ate in the past week but after today, eating all that junk food, it really didn’t matter anymore. Jeongguk got fries and hamburger, stuffing his face with it.They pulled their masks on their chins so they could eat, but as Jeongguk said, almost no one was there. Only the person behind the counter and some couple in their thirties that was sitting on the other side of the shop. It wasn’t anything big and fancy but it was quite cosy and Taehyung loved it.“I don’t remember when was the last time I was out on a date like this,” Jeongguk confessed with a full mouth of hamburger.“Oh, so it is a date, huh?” Taehyung looked at him with a raised eyebrow and small smile on his lips.“We are stuffing our faces together at midnight, of course it’s a date,” the singer wiggled his eyebrows. Taehyung laughed and stuffed a spoon with ice cream into the idol’s mouth.Jeongguk gasped in surprise and looked at the actor with mischievous expression. He buried his finger in Taehyung’s sundae and before the actor could even process what was happening, he rubbed the ice cream on his nose.“Gukkie!” Taehyung shrieked quietly, careful not to draw attention to them.“You started it,” Jeongguk giggled playfully, playing innocent. Taehyung was always up for a challenge and good old food fight and repeated Jeongguk’s previous action, rubbing the ice cream over the maknae’s cheek and lips.They were laughing and the cashier was watching them, annoyed by the sight of what they were doing with the food but neither of them cared.They stopped after couple of minutes, both giggling like idiots and dirty from the ice cream. Jeongguk was laughing quietly, looking at Taehyung with crinkled eyes. Then he brought a hand to the corner of the actor’s mouth and swept the ice cream on his finger. He brought it up to his mouth and licked it. Taehyung blushed at the small gesture, looking down into his now empty glass.They paid for the food, leaving a big tip for the mess they made and slowly went back to the dorm. They didn’t go the fastest way, they took it through a dark park. The city was quiet, it was kinda weird that they didn’t meet anyone but it was for the best.They were walking side by side, their shoulders and hands were bumping together occasionally and Jeongguk sneaked his hand into Taehyung’s. They were both wearing masks but it was still risky, it could be a big scandal if someone recognized them and took pictures of them but neither of them seemed to care about that at the moment.“Gukkie!” Taehyung shrieked when the singer suddenly dragged him from the small path so they were on a grass, surrounded by bushes.“Sorry,” Jeongguk chuckled but then his expression turned serious and soft: “I just really wanna kiss you right now.”“What’s stopping you?” Taehyung breathed out with a slight blush at Jeongguk’s blunt confession. The singer’s smile grew wider and he pulled down his mask to the chin. He repeated the same action with Taehyung’s mask so his mouth was exposed.Taehyung was staring at the younger, waiting for him to make the first step and his eyes automatically closed when Jeongguk’s face started getting closer. Their lips met in a soft kiss, tasting each other. Taehyung tasted like the sweet ice cream and Jeongguk deepened the kiss to taste him properly. Taehyung was fisting Jeongguk’s hoodie on his chest and the singer wrapped his arms around the actor’s waist, bringing them closer.They were kissing in the middle of the bushes in a dark Seoul park and it was somehow perfect. When they separated after a minute, Jeongguk cupped Taehyung’s cheek as they were resting their foreheads together. Their eyes were closed as they were still standing close to each other, feeling the heat of the other’s body.“I had a great time tonight, angel,” Jeongguk whispered with a hint of smile in his voice and Taehyung couldn’t help it but smile too. They both opened their eyes, looking at each other, before they closed the gap between them, kissing again.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
It’s been a month since the sexting between Taehyung and Jeongguk and three months since the actor saw the BTS boys. He had a day off from filming so he just decided to stay home and relax. It’s been six months since he moved to Hong Kong and the filming was slowly coming to an end, there were still three months left but Taehyung knew the time will fly fast.He was just watching movies the whole day, relaxing and doing literally nothing. He was currently watching some random TV show when his phone started ringing. He thought it was Bogum since they had a dinner date later that evening but when he checked the phone, he discovered that it was a face time call from Seokjin. That was kinda weird, the oldest Bangtan member hardly ever called him like this so Taehyung was immediately alerted.“Hey, hyung,” Taehyung picked up the call and the familiar handsome face appeared on the screen.“Tae, I hope I’m not interrupting something,” Seokjin smiled widely.“No, I have a day off actually. Is something happening, hyung?” the actor asked with concern. Seokjin was smiling so he supposed that nothing bad happened but he was still uneasy.“Well something did happen, but don’t worry, it is a good thing, very, very good thing,”“Really, what is it?” Taehyung perked up and relaxed. The happy tone of the older was definitely interesting.“There’s no point in dragging this so I am just gonna tell you,” Seokjin started, made a dramatic pause for a bit and then continued: “Joonie proposed to me and well, I said yes.” Taehyung gasped in surprise and blinked couple of times, processing the news.“Oh my god, hyung, that is amazing!” the actor eventually exclaimed happily: “I am so happy for you, wow!”“Thank you, Taehyungie! I am really happy, you have no idea. I will tell you all about it face to face. That is actually a main reason I call you,” Seokjin smiled widely: “We wanna throw some dinner party for the occasion, nothing huge, just family and couple of friends and we were hoping you’d come because well, you can’t miss! So I call to find out about your schedule, when you’d be able to come to Seoul for a day or two?”“Of course, I couldn’t miss that. I will check with my manager and text you my free days and we will figure something out okay?” Taehyung babbled happily. He was happy that Namjoon and Seokjin wanted to share the celebration with him, it showed him how truly great of friends they were to him. He can worry about seeing Jeongguk face to face later.“Great, yeah, text me as soon as possible, we’d like to do it this month because then we are busy though,”“I think I will find a day or two I could come, don’t worry,” Taehyung nodded.“We will talk about everything face to face okay? I gotta go now. I am happy you will come, we wanna share this moment with the closest people,” the older was glowing with happiness. They said quick goodbyes and ended the call.Taehyung was shocked but happy, he couldn’t believe it. So Seokjin and Namjoon were engaged. Well, they’ve been together for over four years so it wasn’t that unbelievable but still.Suddenly a heavy feeling settled in his stomach and his happiness was replaced with dejection. This was great news but it was leaving a bitter taste in his mouth at the same time.He cancelled the date with Bogum and decided to stay at home. He curled up in his bed and forbidden thoughts started flooding his mind. He’s always been envious of Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s relationship. They were just perfect for each other, they were always so happy, they were completing each other perfectly and they were constant. They hardly ever fought and there was never drama between them and Taehyung always wondered what it was like.He swore to himself a long time ago not to think about it but right now, it was just coming back to him. He thought about what it’d be like if he didn’t leave Jeongguk more than two years ago. They were never technically together so he was wondering, if he didn’t take that job in US, would they end up together? Like really dating? What it’d be like between them now, if he was working in Korea? Would maybe Jeongguk fall down on his knee one day too, asking him to marry him? And what would Taehyung reply? Deep down in his heart, he knew answer to that question.And now he was going to see Jeongguk again, in only couple of weeks on the proposal celebration. He wasn’t sure if he’ll be able to resist him like he did at MAMAs. It was easier not to think about him all the time when they were thousand miles apart but what will happen once they come face to face? No matter what, Taehyung will always be weak for the idol, he kinda made his peace with that a long time ago.
FLASHBACK
It was Jeongguk’s twentieth birthday and the members threw a small party for him in the dorm. They invited some people but the apartment wasn’t packed. Taehyung was of course also there. He and Jeongguk were attached to each other’s hip lately, spending almost every free minute together. The other members were often teasing them for being lovebirds. They never put label on their relationship but the both knew that over the past two months, things between them progressed more than ever.The party was nice, people were having good time and at some point of the evening Jeongguk and Taehyung started slow dancing in the middle of living room. There were other people around them dancing too but they didn’t pay any attention to them.“Do you remember my birthday, three years ago?” Jeongguk spoke up quietly.“Of course I do,” Taehyung admitted with sheepish smile: “It’s crazy that it’s been so long.”“I couldn’t ask for better first kiss,” the singer admitted with a quiet laugh.“Wait, I was your first kiss?” Taehyung looked at him, surprised.“Well, yeah, it was my seventeenth birthday and I was a trainee since thirteen, it’s not like I had time for that,”“I hope it was a good first kiss then,”“I said I couldn’t ask for better, didn’t I?” Jeongguk smiled at him.“Well, gotta say that I am impressed. I wouldn’t have guessed that it was your first time, you were really good,” Taehyung chuckled.“You know I am a quick learner,”“Oh, I forgot, you are the Golden Maknae, you always slay everything,” the actor laughed playfully.“I still like to think that I got better in years though,”“Mm, I don’t know, did you?” Taehyung grinned cheekily.“You’re breaking my heart, angel, you of all people should know that,” Jeongguk pretended offense.“Maybe I need more convincing,” the actor breathed out and looked at the other through eyelashes.“You wanna convince, huh?” the idol looked at him with raised eyebrow and small, playful smile on his lips.“Yeah,” Taehyung whispered with a smile and automatically closed his eyes when Jeongguk leaned in and captured his lips in a slow, deep kiss. Taehyung completely forgot about their surroundings for a minute, his heart was beating like crazy and shivers were running down his spine.“So, did I get better?” Jeongguk whispered when he broke the kiss.“You did,” Taehyung nodded, biting his lip to prevent himself from smiling.They were slow dancing, occasionally kissing for god knows how long. They didn’t care about people around them, all of them here were either idols or actors or close friends of the boys so they knew no one will leak anything. That was like an unspoken rule within the industry, respect each other and not talk about anything private about other idols. Sometimes things got wild backstage on award shows and similar events because that was the only chance the idols had for hook-ups since their lives were so closely watched and they couldn’t date normally.“I have a present for you,” Taehyung looked at Jeongguk when they separated from a kiss.“Really?”“Yeah, but I’d rather go to my place because we need a privacy for that,” the actor licked his lips with a sheepish smile. That definitely caught Jeongguk’s attention and he didn’t hesitate to leave. On their way out, they met Yoongi so they told him that they are leaving and won’t probably come back the whole night, so someone would know where they are.Taehyung led them right to the bedroom when they made it to his apartment. Jeongguk knew this place like the back of his hand by now. It’s been something over two months since Taehyung moved back to Seoul and it was always at the back of Jeongguk’s mind that he can disappear again any day, if he gets an interesting job abroad but he refused to think about it.“Sit down and make yourself comfortable,” Taehyung smiled at the singer and led him to the bed. Jeongguk complied and sat down, resting his back against the headboard.Taehyung came over to a speaker and put some sensual slow song on. Jeongguk was watching him as the actor started slowly moving his hips to the melody, swaying them perfectly and looking right at him.Jeongguk was watching him mesmerized and in awe, meeting a completely new side of Taehyung. The actor was dancing slowly as he started unbuttoning the silky shirt he was wearing. When the soft fabric slipped from his shoulders down on the floor and revealed his soft golden skin, Jeongguk licked his lips and his eyes darkened. He couldn’t believe that Taehyung was seriously giving him a striptease right now.Taehyung slowly unbuttoned his pants, biting his lip and looking sheepishly at the singer. As his trousers fell down to his ankles and he stepped out of them, Jeongguk nearly choked on his own saliva. There was Taehyung, still swaying those perfect hips into the melody, in nothing but black lace panties. Jeongguk could feel all his blood running south at the sight. He’d never think he’d like a guy in women underwear but clearly that was because he’s never seen Taehyung in them. The black fabric was perfectly hugging his small perky ass and Jeongguk felt a beast waking up in him.Taehyung tugged on the panties, ready to slide them down but Jeongguk’s voice stopped him: “Leave them on, angel.”“You like it?” Taehyung asked teasingly but he was clearly a bit nervous and was seeking Jeongguk’s approval.“You look perfect like this,” the idol admitted with raspy voice.“I want you to just sit back and enjoy your birthday,” the actor got to the bed on all fours and climbed slowly to Jeongguk. The idol couldn’t help it and pulled Taehyung closer to him, kissing him eagerly. He was already so turned on from the small show and when he sneaked his hand to cup Taehyung’s ass through the soft fabric, he groaned at the back of his throat.“Just sit back and enjoy,” Taehyung repeated in a whisper when he broke the kiss. He stretched his hand to the nightstand and took a bottle of lube. Then he climbed down the bed and turned over so his back was to Jeongguk. He sat down, found a comfortable and perfect position and stuck his ass out, wiggling it teasingly. Jeongguk gulped, he was completely speechless right now, Taehyung never failed to surprise him even though they knew each other for years.The actor coated his fingers with the lube and with the other hand pulled the panties to the side, revealing his pink puckered hole. Then he brought his slick hand to it, teasing one finger over his entrance. His breathing was unsteady as he circled the finger there, giving Jeongguk a perfect show. The idol was watching the scene in front of him completely dumbfounded. He’s never seen Taehyung touch himself like this and to say that it was the hottest thing ever was an understatement.Finally Taehyung pushed the finger slowly inside himself, moaning quietly at the feeling. Jeongguk sucked in a breath as he watched the finger disappear in that perfect tight hole.“Tell me how it feels, baby,” Jeongguk spoke up with a deep voice. He liked talking to Taehyung during sex and the actor loved is as well.“Feels so good, Gukkie, fuck,” Taehyung whimpered as he started thrusting the finger in and out slowly, stretching himself. He added the second finger after a while, panting at the stretch. It didn’t take him long to get used to it, he and Jeongguk have had a lot of sex lately so the preparation never took very long.Jeongguk watched the man in from of him with hungry eyes. He was impossibly hard by now so he freed his erection from the tight jeans and started lazily stroking himself.“Fuck, angel, look what you do to me,” Jeongguk grunted as he was watching the actor fucking himself with three fingers now. Taehyung looked over his shoulder and moaned shamelessly at the sight of Jeongguk jerking himself off like this while watching him.“Feels so good, Gukkie, I wish it was your cock,” Taehyung whimpered and the idol cursed under his breath at the desperation in his voice. It was driving him crazy how gone Taehyung was for him.“Well, come on then, baby. You think you can take me already?” Jeongguk encouraged him. He ached to feel the other around him as soon as possible. Taehyung nodded eagerly and climbed up to Jeongguk, hovering over him and kissing him roughly. They were moaning into each other’s mouth, impossibly turned on and aching for each other.Taehyung helped Jeongguk undress until they were both finally naked. Then he lubed up his already leaking cock and straddled his hips with: “I wanna ride you.” Jeongguk didn’t protest, he loved when Taehyung was riding him, he loved watching him bounce on his cock, throwing his head back as he was pleasuring himself.Taehyung’s mouth fell open in a silent moan when he sank down on Jeongguk without stopping for a second until he was fully seated on his lap.“Shit, angel, you always feel so incredible,” Jeongguk groaned as he threw his head back against the wall. Taehyung leaned in and cupped his cheeks and brought their lips to a kiss. Jeongguk was running his hands up and down Taehyung’s sides, feeling that soft skin under his fingertips as they were making out heatedly for couple of minutes while Taehyung was rolling his hips slowly, getting used to the stretch and getting them both worked up even more.Finally Taehyung started bouncing on Jeongguk vigorously, setting up a nice tempo, throwing his head back in pleasure.“Shit, Gukkie, I love riding you so much. I love feeling your cock inside me, always so full, so fucking perfect,” Taehyung was babbling as he was supporting himself on his hands behind his back on Jeongguk’s thighs. Only feeling those muscles flexing under his fingertips was making him dizzy.“God, angel, that mouth of yours,” the singer growled and gripped Taehyung’s hips tightly, helping him with the movements. He leaned in to kiss and suck on Taehyung’ neck, shoulders and chest, covering every inch of his skin with marks and bruises. Taehyung was moaning at the sensation, riding him like there was no tomorrow, enjoying every second of it. But it wasn’t enough, he was so far gone now, he needed something better, rougher.“Fuck me, Gukkie, fast and hard, please,” Taehyung whimpered, falling helplessly against Jeongguk’s chest, wrapping his arms around his neck.“Want me to fuck you against the wall, baby?” Jeongguk breathed out, knowing that Taehyung loved it when he fucked him like that.“Shit, yes,” Taehyung moaned at the thought. He’s developed a big thing for Jeongguk’s strength over the years and he loved when he used it with him. The maknae heard his plea and got up from the bed carefully, still buried deep inside Taehyung. The actor wrapped his legs and arms tightly around him and Jeongguk got up from the bed, going to the nearest wall and slamming Taehyung’s back against it, drawing a lewd moan from him.Jeongguk wrapped his arms securely around Taehyung’s waist, making sure to hold him properly as he started fucking into him, hard and fast just like the older wished. Taehyung threw his head back in pleasure, moaning at the incredible feeling. He loved it when Jeongguk was fucking him hard and good and he was quickly falling apart under him.They were both hot and sweaty, panting against each other’s mouth as Jeongguk continued with the ruthless pace, hitting Taehyung’s prostate with each thrust. The actor was going limp in his arms, completely immersed in the pleasure. His insides were burning and his mind was hazy.“I’m-I’m gonna come,” Taehyung whimpered against Jeongguk’s mouth, holding onto him with the last strength he’s got.“You gonna come untouched, baby, just from my cock?” Jeongguk grunted and sped up the movements of his hips to the maximum. It happened couple of times in the past that Taehyung came untouched and Jeongguk absolutely loved it. The thought of him bringing Taehyung over the edge only by fucking him was driving him crazy.Taehyung was nodding, chanting ‘yes’s’, eyes closed shut and biting his lip so hard it almost drew blood. Jeongguk leaned in to capture his lips in a rough, messy kiss and fucked into him vigorously until the actor was shaking in his arms.Taehyung cried out brokenly as his insides exploded, his mouth feel open and eyes shut and he spilled his load between their stomachs, coming untouched just like Jeongguk wished. He almost blacked out at the intensity of his orgasm. Jeongguk fucked him through it, milking him completely before him movements became sloppy and his own orgasm hit him. He kept moving his hips, milking out his own orgasm as he was coming deep inside Taehyung, filling him to the brim. They stopped using condoms with each other a while ago.Taehyung felt the hot come dripping down his hole and on his thighs and he whimpered. There was just something about being filled with Jeongguk’s seed that was making everything even better, the level of intimacy was bigger like this, he’s never went bare with anyone else.Jeongguk carefully dropped Taehyung to the ground, securing his hips because his legs were weak and then leaned in to kiss him passionately.“Happy birthday, Gukkie,” Taehyung whispered, voice raspy from all the moaning and screaming.“This was so much better than three years ago,” Jeongguk chuckled and Taehyung hit him in the arm playfully. They’ve indeed come a long way from hesitantly making out by the pool. Three years later and they were still celebrating Jeongguk’s birthday together. They both wondered at the moment if there will be more birthdays like this to come.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
Taehyung found two days off in his filming schedule so he could go to Korea for one evening. So now here he was, stepping out of the Incheon airport and getting into the car.The dinner party wasn’t actually happening in Seoul, Seokjin and Namjoon wanted to make sure that everything will go smoothly, without any unwanted attention. Public didn’t know about them after all. Taehyung really admired them for deciding to take this step despite being closeted and living in Korea.The car that was sent for him by the boys drove him outside of Seoul to the countryside. It took almost an hour to get there but finally the car stopped in front of a small hotel. It wasn’t anything fancy but it was nice. From the couple he knew that only their families, the members, him and couple of their other closest friends will be there and that they also rented private lounge for the dinner just like the rooms for the guests.It was around five when he arrived and he texted Seokjin that he’s here when he stepped into a small lobby with his small suitcase. He didn’t have to wait long before he saw a familiar face.“Tae, hi!” Jimin hugged him excitedly: “Jin-hyung sent me for you because he’s busy. Let’s get you a key to your room and I will show you where to go.”Ten minutes later, they were in Taehyung’s room and the actor was unpacking clothes for the dinner. He was told that it wasn’t anything too fancy so there was no need for a suit but he was dressing fancy and expensive most of the time anyway.“Are you okay with being here?” Jimin broke the silence from where he was lying on Taehyung’s bed, watching his friend unpacking.“What do you mean? I am happy that the hyungs invited me for this, I am really happy for them,” Taehyung looked at him with confusion.“I mean, with seeing Jeonggukie…” Jimin explained: “I don’t know what happened between you two at the MAMAs but we all noticed that he was pretty upset for couple of days after that so we figured that you fought or something.”“We didn’t exactly fight…” Taehyung sighed: “I just told him about Bogum and he didn’t take it very well. Which I don’t even blame him for.” Jimin of course knew about Bogum, Taehyung talked to him about everything and they were still having their weekly calls tradition.“It is hard for him to know you are with someone else, you know,” Jimin bit his lip. Taehyung was his friend, he dared to say one of his best friends but Jeongguk was too. They’ve known each other for years and being two youngest members of Bangtan made them naturally close. So it was sometimes hard to have conversations with Taehyung or Jeongguk about the other because he didn’t want to choose sides.“I know and as I said, I don’t blame him. Frankly, if it was the other way around, I’d probably react the same,” Taehyung admitted: “But we are fine now. We started texting again every now and then.” Taehyung didn’t tell Jimin about his and Jeongguk’s little sexting from couple of weeks ago, there were just some things Taehyung didn’t need to talk about with anyone.“But I am still with Bogum and I have no idea how I’ll be able to face Gukkie without losing it like I always do. You know how it is between us, it never mattered that I was with someone else…” the actor sighed.“I don’t know what to say to that, I really don’t have any advice for you. You are too weak for each other,” Jimin smiled at him apologetically. What Taehyung and Jeongguk had was really hard and kinda fucked up but it was so beautiful and admirable at the same time.“Don’t apologize, this is my problem, you can’t solve it for me. We’ll see how the evening goes, I guess,” Taehyung shrugged eventually. He decided that whatever happens tonight, he won’t beat up himself for it too much. The only thing he really didn’t want to happen was some stupid fight with Jeongguk, he hated it.Jimin left Taehyung so they could both prepare for the dinner. Taehyung took a long shower after the flight, styled his hair, parting it slightly on his forehead and putting on a light make-up. He put on a lot of accessories – rings, couple of ear rings and one dangling earring and couple of bracelets. Then he got dressed, he went for black fitted slacks, dress shoes, black blazer and light floral silky shirt. He checked out his appearance in the mirror, content with the outcome.He met with Jimin and Hoseok in the hallway, he greeted the older one with a hug and together they went down to the lounge. Almost everybody was already there. Seokjin looked absolutely stunning, not that he looked anything but that anyway and Namjoon too. He hugged them both tightly and congratulated them on the engagement. They introduced their parents and siblings to him since he’s never met them before and also couple of their friends. There were couple of other idols - including Jackson from GOT7 and Ken from Vixx that the couple was close with – Taehyung’s already met most of them throughout the years.Taehyung’s eyes were slipping to the door as he was chatting with random people. Yoongi and Jeongguk still weren’t there so he expected them to come any minute since the dinner was about to start.Couple of minutes later, Yoongi appeared at the door with Jeongguk behind him. Taehyung’s stomach made couple of flips when he saw the younger singer. Throughout the years, he was wondering if there will ever come time when his heart and stomach will stop doing all those things when he sees Jeongguk but that moment hasn’t come so far.Their gazes met and Taehyung forgot how to breathe for a second, that was the effect Jeon Jeongguk had on him no matter what. Yoongi came to him and greeted him with a warm hug and then quickly made a space for the maknae. Of course that Jeongguk looked as great as ever, Taehyung wasn’t even surprised at this point. He was in all black – tight skinny jeans and boots, blazer and sheer shirt with couple of unbuttoned buttons. His dark brown hair was parted slightly on his forehead, which was a look Taehyung liked the most on him and his features were emphasized by a light make-up.“Hey,” Taehyung breathed out when the maknae approached him. They were staring at each other for couple of seconds, just like always, everyone around them stopped existing. Finally Jeongguk made the first step and pulled Taehyung into a tight hug.“Tae,” Jeongguk whispered against his ear as the actor was slowly melting in his arms. He buried his nose in the idol’s neck, taking in the familiar and comforting scent. He could feel himself getting lost in Jeongguk all over again and that never meant anything good. At least not when he was dating another guy at the moment.Their moment didn’t last long because the dinner started so everyone sat down around a big table. To Taehyung’s relief – but also disappointment – he was seated between Jimin and Yoongi. The dinner started with a small toast in the newly engaged couple’s honour and soon the drinks and food were served.The dinner was delicious and the company was nice, they were all chatting about their work and other small stuff. They were also remembering some moments between Seokjin and Namjoon – especially BTS members because they had the most stories – some of those stories made the couple blush and cringe so much because they had their families there.Two hours later, Taehyung was sitting with Seokjin in the corner of the room on a sofa. They were both sipping a wine and Seokjin was telling the actor about the engagement just like he promised he would. No one else was willing to listen to the story again so it was just the two of them.“…and then he went down on his knee but he banged his head against the table,” Seokjin was laughing with his signature laughter and Taehyung almost spitted out the wine. Everyone knew that the Bangtan leader was clumsy, Taehyung should’ve figured that he’d fuck up also his proposal.“And I started laughing so hard that I almost peed myself but of course I kneeled too to make sure that he was okay because I am a loving boyfriend…” Seokjin continued: “…and he started yelling at me to stand back up and not to ruin it. I was completely clueless and started yelling at him what the fuck he means and to stop telling me what to do. And then he just took out the small box and exclaimed, completely frustrated: ‘I just fucking wanna propose to you!’.”“Oh my god,” Taehyung was laughing like crazy: “That is the best proposal I’ve ever heard.”“Well then the rest is history, I thought he was kidding at first but then he showed me the ring and I said yes of course and jumped at him. Well and then we had sex right there on the kitchen floor and Yoongi and Hobi walked in on us but that’s not the point…” Seokjin finished the story and Taehyung was drying his tears. In situations like this, he always realized how much he missed the BTS members when he was abroad.“You can’t get married in Korea though,” Taehyung pointed out when he calmed down and took a sip of his red wine.“Yeah, we were already talking about it a bit. We figured we could get married in US. We are not rushing with it, we’ll see according to our schedule. The marriage won’t be valid here of course and we can never come out, at least as long as BTS is together but we don’t care about that. It’s the thought that counts and at least we will be legally married in couple of countries on the planet,” Seokjin waved his hand. Taehyung smiled. It was so nice that despite the hardships and odds, they were still going to do this.Seokjin left Taehyung to go back to Namjoon and before the actor could process anything, Jeongguk flopped down on the sofa next to him.“How have you been?” the maknae looked at Taeyhung.“Good. The filming is fun and everything’s great,” Taehyung replied simply.“We haven’t talked much since that evening…” Jeongguk brought up that evening they were sexting. Taehyung said nothing to that, blushing slightly. The maknae continued: “Are you still with him?”“Yeah, I am,” Taehyung nodded without making an eye contact with Jeongguk. He really didn’t want to talk about Bogum with him, it was just awkward and painful for both of them and he really didn’t want to fight or do something that would ruin the evening not only for the two of them but especially for Seokjin and Namjoon.“Are you happy with him?” Jeongguk asked quietly.“I am…” Taehyung mumbled, still refusing to make the eye contact with him.“More than with me?”“Gukkie…”“You don’t need to reply, we both know the answer to that question,” Jeongguk stated matter-of-factly. Taehyung stayed silent, still staring at his own lap.“You know, sometimes I really wanna hate you,” the idol chuckled joylessly and that finally made Taehyung look at him. He was surprised and also kinda hurt by this confession.“I wanna hate you because that would make everything much easier. It would be easier than loving you,” Jeongguk looked at Taehyung. The older closed his eyes because he could feel his eyes starting to burn with tears.“It’s been more than six years since we met and I still don’t understand why is that so hard for us to let each other go. Why are we doing this to ourselves when it is so hard?” Jeongguk continued his monologue.“Because we are soulmates, Gukkie,” Taehyung said so quietly that he wasn’t sure the idol heard him but Jeongguk’s look told him he did. The maknae was staring at him, this was the first time Taehyung said something like this out loud directly to him. His heart ached a bit at the confession but he was happy at the same time that he wasn’t the only one who felt this way.“So why are you still running away from me?” Jeongguk got out a question that was always there. Taehyung shook his head with lips pressed together. A tear slipped from his eye and he rubbed it away quickly.“I gotta go get some air,” Taehyung mumbled, got up and quickly rushed out of the room.“How are the things between those two?” Jackson sat down to the table where Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin were. Just few seconds ago, they all saw Taehyung rushing out of the lounge after talking to Jeongguk for couple of minutes. Bangtan’s maknae got up from the sofa and went for another drink.“Still the same,” Hoseok waved his hand.“Seriously, watching those two over the years is like some bad k-drama,” Yoongi snorted.“I just don’t understand why they are still together. Or well, not together…you know what I mean,” Jackson spoke up again. He’s seen those two enough times over the years to know what’s up.“It’s not that easy. They love each other,” Jimin sighed. He knew about their relationship probably the most out of everyone since he was very close with both of them.“Then why are they not together? It is Taehyung’s fault, if you ask me. Like, I don’t know him very well so it’s not my place to judge but he is the one who is always running away,” Jackson stood behind his opinion.“He is not running, he is just following his dreams. I think we all here can understand that,” Jimin defended his friend.“No, I get it, he wants to travel and shit, that’s fine but it doesn’t seem to me that it makes him really happy so why does he even bother?” Jackson shrugged and sipped on his beer. Jimin couldn’t really say anything to that because he knew it was true.Jeongguk was torn if he should try to go find Taehyung. He wanted to give him some space, knowing that he was emotional but he wanted to comfort him and be with him at the same time. Plus he knew that Taehyung was leaving again the next day so they didn’t have much time to be together and Jeongguk’s always wanted to get the best of it.Eventually he left the lounge and went outside, knowing that Taehyung went for some fresh air. It was beginning of summer and the nights were already quite warm. He was walking around the hotel’s property that was actually a really big garden with a lot of trees, bushes, flowers and some benches here and there.Finally after ten minutes, he spotted a silhouette sitting on a bench hidden behind the bushes. If he wasn’t looking for Taehyung, he wouldn’t definitely find him.“I am sorry that I always bring up some emotional crap. I don’t wanna fight and I don’t wanna make it look like I blame you for something. I don’t,” Jeongguk spoke up when he knew Taehyung spotted him. He made his way slowly to the older and sat down next to him.“It’s okay, I know you don’t mean to hurt me but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Because everything you say is true,” Taehyung replied quietly.“I know, angel,” Jeongguk sighed in agreement. He knew all too well what Taehyung meant. The actor looked at him, feeling a warm feeling in his chest at the oh-so-familiar pet name. He shifted closer to Jeongguk and rested their foreheads together.“I wanna let you go so badly but at the same time that thought scares me so much,” Taehyung whispered: “I hate that I am with another guy right now but all I can think about is you. And the worst thing about it is that I don’t feel any remorse. All I can think about now is how badly I wanna kiss you and I don’t care in the slightest that I’d be cheating on him.”“Then just let go,” Jeongguk whispered back. Their mouths were so close at this point that their breaths were mingling together and Taehyung was shivering from head to toe and it wasn’t because of the temperature outside.Taehyung just couldn’t hold back anymore. He leaned in with closed eyes and closed the tiny gap between them, tasting Jeongguk’s lips again after months. They were just the same like Taehyung remembered, perfect against his.They separated for air after a minute but immediately crushed their lips back together, more urgently and hungrily this time. Taehyung pressed himself closer to Jeongguk, wrapping his hands tightly around his shoulders while the singer’s hands were running up and down his sides.“I once told you…” Jeongguk broke the kiss for a second and then went back in. Then he leaned back again to say: “I will wait for you no matter what.”They kissed again, both of them growing more and more desperate. Jeongguk mumbled against Taehyung’s lips: “I don’t care who you are with because we both know that in reality you are mine.”“I am yours, Gukkie, always,” Taehyung admitted with a whimper as Jeongguk’s hands squeezed his ass. The actor’s mind was already hazy just like always when he was with Jeongguk. He couldn’t think about anything or anyone else right now. The rest of the world stopped existing and it was just the two of them.Jeongguk lowered them on the bench so Taehyung was lying on it and he was on top of him. They never broke the kisses, too hungry to feel each other. They started grinding their hips together, panting into the kisses helplessly.“We are outside. Anyone can walk in on us,” Taehyung breathed out when Jeongguk broke the kiss and attached his lips to the actor’s neck.“I don’t care,” the idol mumbled against his skin and sucked a mark into his favourite spot. Taehyung’s eyes rolled back at the feeling, not really carrying about them being in public either. They were protected by the bushes anyway and it was already after midnight, most of the guests were already sleeping and their friends wouldn’t go look for them.Soon Jeongguk pulled Taehyung’s pants and underwear down to his ankles and prepared him quickly with three fingers. They were both too far gone to care about anything. They should, considering they were an idol and an actor but they just didn’t. They were both lost in pleasure, hungry for each other. The last time when they felt each other like this was in Tokyo which was more than six months ago and that was just too much.When Taehyung was prepared enough, whining impatiently under Jeongguk, the idol slipped down his jeans and underwear only to free his erection. He coated it with saliva and pushed inside Taehyung, making them both moan in pleasure.“I missed you so much, angel,” Jeongguk choked out as he started slowly rocking his hips.“Missed you too, Gukkie,” Taehyung nodded feverishly and brought the younger down for a messy kiss. Jeongguk soon picked up the speed and started snapping his hips desperately, panting against Taehyung’s mouth and swallowing his quiet moans.It didn’t take them long to finish, both of them too far gone for anything slow. As soon as Jeongguk wrapped his hand around Taehyung’s throbbing erection, the actor came with a high pitched moan. Jeongguk fucked into him couple more times before he spilled inside him, his whole body trembling with pleasure.They went back to Taehyung’s room and spend the whole night together, making out and fucking with short breaks in between that they mostly spend with cuddling and speaking about little things. Saying goodbye the next day was just as hard as always.As soon as Taehyung returned back to Hong Kong, he broke up with Bogum. He didn’t tell him the real reason and that he cheated on him, simply because he didn’t see the point in hurting the older actor. It wasn’t only because of the cheating, it was because Taehyung knew that what Jeongguk told him back at the MAMAs was true – after the filming is done, he will move to some other country and he’d break up with Bogum anyway because it was never a problem for Taehyung to let anyone go. Anyone but Jeon Jeongguk.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
FLASHBACK
It’s been something over four months since Taehyung moved back to Seoul and he and Jeongguk were spending almost every free minute together. They never talked about it, never put any label on their relationship but they both knew that they overstepped their friends with benefits boundaries a long time ago.It was the end of September and Jeongguk took a car and drove them outside of Seoul. It was a night and he parked on a hill where they had a nice view on the night city. It was peaceful, it was just the two of them.Right now, Taehyung was standing, resting his ass against the hood of the car, while the maknae stood between his legs as they were making out lazily. Taehyung was restless the whole evening, kissing the singer urgently, taking as much as he could. He needed to break the news to Jeongguk but he always got lost in those perfect kisses.“I got a job in the US,” Taehyung blurted out when they separated to take their breaths. Jeongguk froze in shock, staring at him. He knew that Taehyung’s stay in Korea was only temporary. Since the beginning, the actor was talking about how he will go abroad again, once he gets some interesting offer. At the beginning, Jeongguk was okay with that and then he just hoped that an interesting offer never comes and Taehyung will stay. He hoped that what they had together would be enough for Taehyung to stay but apparently not.“I accepted it,” the actor added the obvious.“When...when are you leaving?” Jeongguk got out the important question.“It’s last minute, I have to leave in a week,” Taeyhung bit his lip.“A week?” Jeongguk looked at him incredulously. He’s always thought that they will have more time to say goodbye once Taehyung takes some job, at least month or so.“I don’t wanna leave you, Gukkie,” Taehyung confessed quietly: “But the script for the movie is really interesting and I wanna take that job.”“Well then…” Jeongguk smiled lightly at him but it didn’t reach his eyes: “We will make the best of that week.” Taehyung got out a bubbly chuckle, he half expected Jeongguk to yell at him or beg him not to go so he was glad it didn’t happen. He was happy that the idol was supporting his career and dreams.Jeongguk took his cheeks in his palms and just looked at him like he wanted to remember every inch of his face. Taehyung felt like crying when the other was looking at him like this. They rested their foreheads together and then kissed again. And then again and again, until their lips were swollen and sore and until the night got lighter.*Taehyung broke the news to the rest of the members as well. They were happy for him but of course also sad that he was leaving.Jeongguk’s wish to enjoy the week to the fullest unfortunately didn’t come true completely because Taehyung left for Daegu for two days to enjoy some time with his family but that was understandable. Last five days, he spent with Jeongguk and the members just like he promised. BTS’s schedule wasn’t packed thankfully so they could spend a lot of time with him and even when they were in the dance studio or something, Taehyung was there with them, just watching, laughing at their antics or admiring their skills and talent.He and Jeongguk were spending every night together, they went out couple of times, they cooked together and all that. And they kissed and touched each other and fucked as much as they could.The evening before Taehyung’s departure, the members surprised him with a goodbye party. They invited couple of Taehyung’s other friend so he could see everyone one last time before leaving. Jeongguk was not happy about it, he was hoping that they’d spent the last night only together but he understood that he was not the only person in Taehyung’s life. He couldn’t be selfish and have him only for himself. Besides, they agreed to go to Taehyung’s apartment later that night.Jeongguk was currently leaning against the wall while he was watching Taehyung in living room, having a dance battle with Hoseok, Jimin and Seokjin. He was so caught up in the actor that he didn’t notice Yoongi coming to him with beers.“Thanks, hyung,” Jeongguk muttered and took one beer from the rapper who leaned against the wall as well.“So you are really gonna let him leave, huh?” Yoongi broke the silence.“What else can I do? This is what he wants and I don’t wanna be selfish and stand between him and his dreams. I know what it’s like to do what I love, who am I to try stopping him from his career?” Jeongguk sighed.“Is that really what he wants though?”“Of course it is, if he didn’t want it, he’d stay with me. He knows how I feel about him and I know he feels the same but it is apparently not enough,”“And did you tell him? Knowing something isn’t the same like talking about it. Maybe if you asked him to stay, he would,” Yoongi reasoned.“He wants this,” Jeongguk protested.“Maybe but he also wants you,”“We are not even together, hyung, there is really nothing to talk about. I can’t just ask him to leave this opportunity for me,”“You might not put label on your relationship but you are together. I don’t know if you are trying to bullshit me or if you are bullshitting yourself because you think it will hurt less when he leaves but it’s always been something more between you. You started as fuckbuddies, good but hell, it stopped being about it a long time ago. You both fuck other people but once you see each other, no one else exists. You can literally fuck any person you point at yet you always choose each other. And in the past four months, call it whatever you want, but you were dating, that is a fact,” Yoongi gave him his piece of mind.“That doesn’t matter now, he’s leaving tomorrow,” Jeongguk shrugged sadly.“And now what? Are you gonna try a long distance relationship or will you just go back to where it was before? Just fuck each other from time to time?”“I don’t know, hyung, I am up for anything, really. Depends on him,”“Well then you need to talk about it at least before he leaves,” Yoongi looked at him pointedly.“I will, tonight,” the maknae nodded with determination, turning his gaze back to the actor.Around midnight, Taehyung said his goodbye to everyone. He hugged everyone tightly with tears in his eyes. This time was even harder to leave. In the past, he always spent only couple of days with Bangtan and he already loved them. Now he was with them almost every day of the past four months and he grew even more attached to them so it was especially hard. They became his family and it was really hard to let them go.He and Jeongguk left the BTS dorm together, heading to his apartment. As soon as they were inside, they took off their shoes and jackets and Taehyung led them to the kitchen. He turned to Jeongguk and wrapped his arms around his neck.“So, our last night,” the actor spoke up quietly.“What do you wanna do?” Jeongguk whispered with a lump in his throat. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow, he just wanted to enjoy this night with Taehyung, god knows when they will see each other and when they do, how the things will be between them. Maybe they will be different people, they might even date someone, who knows.“I wanna feel you,” Taehyung nuzzled his nose into Jeongguk’s cheek: “I want you to fuck me nice and slow so I remember every second of it for the next weeks. I wanna remember every touch, every kiss, every word.”“Whatever you want, angel,” Jeongguk breathed out and brought their lips together in a soft kiss. They were kissing slowly in the kitchen for couple of minutes, their hands exploring every inch of each other’s body so their fingertips would remember every muscle, every bone, every curve.They moved to the bedroom and lied down on a bed together. They undressed each other slowly, kissing every inch of the other’s body. Jeongguk was hovering over Taehyung, sucking and biting bruises into his skin so they would last at least for couple of days. Taehyung was panting under him with closed eyes, enjoying every touch and kiss and memorizing every feeling and every emotion.Jeongguk turned Taehyung around on his stomach and settled between his legs to mark also his back and shoulders. The actor was whimpering under his kisses and touches, enjoying every second of it like he wished.The maknae paid extra attention to Taehyung’s thighs. He always loved the soft skin there, it was his favourite place to mark and so he did just that. Then he moved on to the ass cheeks and gave them some attention as well. Then he spread Taehyung’s cheeks and the actor shivered when he felt a hot breath hitting his entrance.He wanted to say something but his words died in his throat when there was a wet muscle licking on his rim and it draw a long moan from him.Jeongguk licked a long stripe from his balls up to his entrance before he started paying attention to the puckered hole. Taehyung was writhing in the sheets, whining helplessly, coming completely apart. He loved when Jeongguk rimmed him and Jeongguk loved doing it because it was always getting him sweet responses from the actor.Taehyung moaned lewdly into the pillow when Jeongguk started messily circling his tongue around his entrance and his back arched when the wet muscle started digging into him. Soon the actor was a sobbing mess, babbling incoherent praises and Jeongguk’s name as the idol was eating him out like his life depended on it.Taehyung nearly choked when Jeongguk pushed two fingers in along with his tongue and he was close to tears from the amazing sensation.“Too much, Gukkie, I can’t take it, I need you, please,” Taehyung was whining desperately, too far gone by now.“I’ve got you, baby,” Jeongguk nodded and kissed both of his ass cheeks couple of times before he withdrew the fingers. He lubed up his painfully hard cock and lied on Taehyung so the actor was completely trapped between him and the bed. He loved it like this, when he was completely covered with Jeongguk’s body.Jeongguk kissed his shoulders and back softly and then turned his head so they could kiss sloppily. It was messy in the awkward angle since Taehyung was on his stomach but it was perfect either way.Taehyung moaned into the kiss when Jeongguk slowly pushed in him, splitting him open perfectly. Jeongguk grabbed Taehyung’s hands, bringing them above his head. Their fingers were intertwined and they were holding onto each other for dear life as the idol started rocking his hips until he was fucking Taehyung slowly and deeply just like he wished.“I wanna see you,” Taehyung whimpered after couple of minutes. This position was great and normally he wouldn’t mind going like this the whole time but he wanted to see Jeongguk this last time. Thankfully the younger had the same desire so he slipped out of him and turned him over so they were facing each other.Jeongguk slipped back into Taehyung and set up slightly faster pace than before, fucking Taehyung deeply and sensually. His hands ran from Taehyung’s sides, over his rib cage to his arms and he brought them up above Taehyung’s head again, gripping on his fingers tightly.Their faces were only inches apart, they were staring at each other with emotional expressions, panting against each other’s mouth and kissing occasionally. It was so intense and passionate and Taehyung knew he will remember this for a long time. Their eyes were focused on each other’s face, trying to remember every expression, every gaze, every inch.“God, Tae,” Jeongguk choked out with voice strained with emotion, his chest felt so tight, knowing that this was their last night at least for some time.Taehyung let go of Jeongguk’s hands and instead wrapped them around his neck, bringing him down for a kiss. Jeongguk sneaked his hands under Taehyung’s torso, pressing him closer to himself, aching to feel every inch of his body as they were moving together. Taehyung wrapped his legs around Jeongguk’s waist, bringing him even closer, enjoying every drag of Jeongguk’s cock in him.“I am gonna miss you so much, Gukkie,” Taehyung whispered and a tear slipped down his cheek. He felt stupid, crying right now, during sex but it was just all too much, he felt too many things right now. Jeongguk quickly brushed the tear away, kissing softly the place where it was.“I know, angel, I am gonna miss you too,” the idol confessed quietly and he leaned down to connect their lips again. They were kissing slowly as Jeongguk kept thrusting deeply into Taehyung. He could feel his orgasm approaching so he wrapped his fingers around Taehyung’s length and jerked him off slowly.Taehyung let out a strangled moan into Jeongguk’s mouth as he shot his release between their stomachs. Jeongguk fucked him through it, held him close and kissed him, making his orgasm much more intense. The singer snapped his hips few more times before he groaned, bit on Taehyung’s shoulder and spilled his release inside him.They were holding their trembling bodies, kissing sensually for couple of minutes. Then they went to take a shower, washing each other and making out under the water.When they finally lied down and cuddled, Jeongguk thought it was the right time to bring up the inevitable conversation.“So how is it gonna be now, between us?” Jeongguk broke the silence. Taehyung tensed little bit in his arms at the question.“I am gonna be in the US for months and I don’t know where my next job will be. I think…I think we should just see other people,” Taehyung replied quietly. Jeongguk sat up and looked at him.“So that’s it? We are just gonna pretend like there is nothing between us and fuck other people and when we see each other we will just fuck?” the idol raised his voice little bit.“It was like that before and you never complained,” Taehyung protested and sat up as well.“But that was before. Things happened in the past four months, Tae and I can’t just go back to how it was before. I don’t wanna fuck other people, I don’t care about them, I only want you,”“It’d be too difficult, Gukkie. I am gonna work in America and you are going on tour in couple of months, travelling the world. I can’t want from you to wait for me and stop living your life,” Taehyung looked at him.“Don’t pretend like you’re doing this for me!” the idol exclaimed: “You just don’t wanna get attached and you don’t wanna feel guilty when you sleep with other people! So don’t pretend like you are doing this for me!”“What is that supposed to mean?” Taehyung snapped back.“You know I’m right, don’t deny it,” Jeongguk glared at him: “I’d wait for you but if this is what you want then there is nothing to talk about.”“Gukkie, just promise me that you won’t hold back because of me. Promise me you will see other people. You deserve to be happy,” the actor looked at him pleadingly.“But I am happy with you!” the younger shot back. Taehyung looked at him with a pout and tears in his eyes. Jeongguk got up from the bed and started dressing up.“What are you doing?” Taehyung gasped.“I think I am just gonna go sleep home,” Jeongguk replied curtly.“Gukkie, don’t leave like this,” the older whined: “I don’t want us to end it like this.”“It doesn’t matter how we end it, it’s still over, isn’t it?” the idol replied quietly, not even looking at the other. Taehyung felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks. This was not how he imagined their last night together, only few minutes ago, everything was perfect and now Jeongguk was leaving. It was already hard for him to say goodbye but he didn’t want them to fight.“I hope you will be happy, Tae, I will always wish you the best,” Jeongguk murmured, not looking at him. Taehyung heard emotions in his voice and that made everything even worse. Then the younger started walking out of the room.“I will be waiting for you tomorrow at the airport. Please come say goodbye!” Taehyung shouted at Jeongguk before he disappeared. Few seconds later, Taehyung heard the front door close.The next morning, Taehyung was waiting at the airport, looking at the entrance. He was prolonging his boarding as much as he could with a small sparkle of hope in his heart. But Jeongguk never showed up.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
The filming in Hong Kong was finished, finally after eight months. Taehyung was always happy when the filming was wrapped up successfully but he was also emotional because he always got close with the cast and the crew and saying good bye wasn’t easy.Before he even finished the filming, he got another interesting offer and he decided to go for it. So now he was in Japan again, this time in Osaka, filming some romantic drama.He’s been to Osaka many times before so he wasn’t unfamiliar with the city but as always, when he was alone in the apartment, he felt lonely. He was a very sociable person so he became friends with his co-stars always quickly and days on set were fun but when he was alone, it was hard sometimes. In times like these, he was always questioning his decision of moving so much and living abroad when most of his friends and family were in Korea. He thought about the BTS boys a lot and he thought about Jeongguk.It’s been five months since Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s engagement dinner party and five months since he’s seen them. He was always texting and calling with Jimin and occasionally with other members. He also exchanged couple of texts with Jeongguk but as always, they were keeping their interaction to the minimum because that was just easier. That way they didn’t miss each other too much.Two months into filming in Osaka, he went to his apartment to take a quick nap. They were filming since early morning, then they had whole afternoon free but he had to come for a night filming so he decided to rest so he’d be fresh at night. The movie had a really good script and his character was very interesting and he was truly enjoying the job but it was exhausting sometimes.He flopped down on his bed as soon as he arrived, not even bothering to undress and fell asleep almost instantly. When his alarm went off an hour later, he groaned in protest, not really wanting to leave the warm bed. He still had almost an hour before he had to leave to go to the set because he wanted to eat something and take a shower.He grabbed his phone and stayed in the bed for couple more minutes, deciding to go check out Twitter since it’s been couple of days since he’s done that.As soon as he opened the app, Jeongguk’s name in trending list caught his attention. Then he felt his throat go dry and his chest tighten when he noticed a hashtag made by fans PrayForJungkook. His mind went immediately in overdrive, imagining different scenarios and reasons why the fans were trending this. He took a deep breath and clicked on the hashtag to see more.His heart nearly dropped when he saw an article of some newspaper with a familiar car crushed in a tree with a title ‘BTS’s maknae Jungkook got into a car accident’.Taehyung felt a wave of nausea hitting him, his heart was banging in his chest and his mind went numb. Dread washed over him as tears filled his eyes. He clicked on the article with trembling finger and read through it quickly but it didn’t reveal any information about what happened and most importantly, if Jeongguk was alright.He sat up on his bed, feeling his body trembling with fear and shock. This couldn’t be true, this had to be some bad rumour. But the car on the picture was definitely Jeongguk’s, he’s been in that car hundred times before, sitting on the passenger seat while the idol was driving, often with his hand on Taehyung’s thigh.He had a bad feeling in his stomach about this. When he thought about the worst case scenario a new wave of nausea hit him and he jumped off the bed just in time to run to a trashcan next to the door and threw up.He cleaned his mouth with the back of a hand and a bubbly sob escaped his lips. He fell on his knees on the floor as his body was shaking with loud sobs. This can’t be real, he can’t lose Jeongguk. That was all he could think about at the moment, nothing else could be processed in his brain. Just the thought of losing Jeongguk was making him hyperventilate and sob even more, he was completely out of his mind.When he calmed down little bit and could think clearer, he came back to his bed, laying down on it and pressing couple of buttons on his phone. He needed to know something, anything. He was scared to hear the truth but he couldn’t be kept in the dark.“Jiminie,” Taehyung choked out and new tears burst out of his eyes when he saw the familiar face on his phone screen when the older picked up.“Tae,” Jimin breathed out and said something that Taehyung couldn’t hear through his own sobs.“Jiminie, please, tell me…tell me that he’s alright,” Taehyung babbled incoherently: “I…I can’t lose him, Jiminie, I can’t, I can’t…”“Tae, shh, calm down!” Jimin snapped at him to bring the actor back to his senses. It worked and Taehyung looked at the screen through his tears, waiting for his friend to speak up.“He’s alright, Tae, he’s fine,” the older spoke up finally and Taehyung felt a weight falling from his stomach at those simple words.“Some fucker pushed him out of the road and he hit a tree but it was nothing horrible, he reacted quickly and hit the brakes. He’s got only small bruises and minor injuries. His wrist is hurt so he won’t be able to dance properly for a while but other than that he’s alright. He got treated in the hospital but they let him go home immediately. They gave him some painkillers that make him sleepy so he is sleeping in his room now. But he’s alright, Tae, the newspapers and fans blew it up,” Jimin quickly explained everything to calm the actor down.“You’re serious, right? You are not lying, are you?” Taehyung hiccupped, seeking a reassurance.“I am serious, Tae, I swear. He is completely alright,” Jimin nodded. Taehyung broke in more tears, with relief this time. He was still emotional from the news but now when he knew Jeongguk was fine, he felt light again. But it was still crushing him.“I was so scared, Jiminie,” Taehyung whispered, curled up in the bed: “I was so scared that I lost him. I can’t…I can’t lose him, how would I live without him?”“Shh, Tae, I know,” Jimin tried to comfort him but he understood why Taehyung was so emotional.“He’s…He means so much to me, Jiminie. I was so scared,” Taehyung was babbling and crying again. He’s made his peace with feelings for Jeongguk a long time ago but it never hit him so hard. The thought of losing the singer was making him physically sick.“He is alright, Tae,” Jimin repeated because there was really nothing else to say. He just wanted to comfort his friend.“I love him,” Taehyung peeped through the tears: “I love him so much, Jiminie.”“I know,”They ended the call after Taehyung calmed down little bit but he was still a mess, lying in his bed. His manager texted him where he was since they were waiting for him on the set. He completely forgot about it but he couldn’t bring himself to care right now. He texted his manager back that he’s got a stomach ache and takes few days off. The manager wasn’t happy about the request but gave in because if Taehyung was truly sick, there was nothing he could do about it.Taehyung put down his phone and stared at the ceiling for god knows how long. He still felt the dread in his body. Only half an hour ago he thought he lost Jeongguk and it was the worst feeling he’s ever felt. He trusted Jimin that Jeongguk was fine but he needed to make sure for himself. He picked up his phone from the bedside table again.*Taehyung was watching familiar streets through the window of the cab. Soon he was standing in front of a familiar building and only couple of minutes later, he was in front of the door of the apartment that he spent a lot of time in throughout the years.He was anxious and emotional as he rang the bell next to the door. He took the first available plane to Seoul from Osaka, not even thinking about it for a minute. Nothing was happening for a while and he was worried that maybe the members were in the company or something but after a minute, he heard footsteps coming to the door.“Tae,” Namjoon breathed out in surprise when the door opened. Taehyung didn’t let anyone know about his visit and the leader was surprised but when he took in the actor’s appearance, his eyes swollen due to a lack of sleep and crying, he smiled at him sympathetically and let him in the dorm without any word. Taehyung took off his shoes and coat and dropped a small bag on the floor and made his way to the apartment.Jimin, Yoongi, Hoseok and Seokjin greeted him with confusion when he walked in the living room but Taehyung didn’t pay any attention to them as soon as he spotted a figure in the hallway. Jeongguk came out of his room to see who was visiting them.Taehyung’s chest tightened as soon as he saw the maknae. He took in his appearance. His left wrist was in a removable cast, his left forearm had a deep scratch on it and his collarbones and upper arms were decorated in bruises. That sight made Taehyung emotional all over again, reminding him of what happened and what worse could’ve happened.Taehyung closed the gap between them and crushed his body against the surprised maknae. Despite the injuries, Jeongguk immediately pressed the other close to himself, hugging him tightly.“Gukkie,” Taehyung hiccupped emotionally into the crook of Jeongguk’s neck. The younger could feel Taehyung’s tears on his neck and he pressed him even closer, stroking his hair soothingly with his healthy hand. The actor broke down in sobs, everything just came back crushing him.“I was so scared, Gukkie,” Taehyung mumbled against the maknae’s neck: “I thought I lost you, god, I don’t know what I’d do.”“Shh, it’s alright, angel, I am alright,” Jeongguk whispered reassuringly, holding him close. The other members were watching the emotional scene in front of them. Taehyung was full on sobbing mess now and Jeongguk was whispering reassurances that they didn’t hear. It was really heart breaking to watch. They were scared for their maknae when they heard the news as well but they were quickly reassured that he was alright. The way Taehyung found out about the accident was much worse.“Let’s go to my room, okay?” Jeongguk whispered softly and without waiting for any answer, he led the actor to his room and closed the door behind them. He lied them both down on his bed and pressed Taehyung to himself. The actor buried his face in Jeongguk’s chest, grabbing on his t-shirt for dear life as silent sobs were still shaking his body.“I was so scared that I lost you, Gukkie, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I was so scared…” Taehyung babbled as Jeongguk was stroking his back soothingly.“I am sorry, angel, I am sorry that it scared you so much, I should’ve texted you or something,” the idol apologized. He felt really guilty now. He couldn’t imagine what was going through Taehyung’s head but he knew that if it was the other way around, he’d probably lose his mind so he could relate.“It’s okay. The important thing is that you are alright,” Taehyung hiccupped and looked up at the other. Jeongguk’s heart sank a bit at the sight. Taehyung looked so small and vulnerable right now, his eyes that were usually full of joy and playful sparkles were now red and swollen and his face was scrunched with emotions.“I am glad you are here,” Jeongguk admitted and brought up his hand to caress Taehyung’s cheek. The older immediately pressed the cheek into the touch as he closed his eyes. Jeongguk was here with him, he was alright but anytime Taehyung remembered what could’ve happened, he felt emotional all over again. The mere thought of losing Jeongguk and never seeing him again was so scary and so painful.“Can you kiss me?” Taehyung slowly opened his eyes and looked at the idol pleadingly, seeking desperately any intimate contact with him. He needed to feel him.Jeongguk didn’t answer but he adjusted Taehyung’s body so they were face to face and then leaned in. Their lips met in a soft kiss. Their lips were moving in a perfect sync together after the years of practice and Taehyung could feel himself finally relax at the familiar sensation. The kiss was long but soft and loving.When they separated, Taehyung was staring at Jeongguk for couple of seconds, taking in every feature of his face. He never wanted to forget him, never forget the feelings it brought up in him whenever he saw him.“I love you, Gukkie,” Taehyung whispered with choked up voice. It wasn’t the first time he said this to the younger and probably not the last but right now, he really wanted to remind him.“I know, angel,” Jeongguk nodded softly: “I love you too.” And with that he planted a soft kiss to Taehyung’s forehead. The actor snuggled even closer to Jeongguk, burying his face into the crook of his neck. The maknae’s arms tightened around him, holding him close and only few minutes later, he felt Taehyung’s soft breaths hitting his neck. He could finally get some rest, now when he was back in Jeongguk’s arms.*Taehyung stayed in Seoul for couple of days, since he told his manager that he was sick and got few days off from filming. He didn’t even tell him that he left Japan but he couldn’t care less about that. The other guys had to work and practice according to the schedule so Taehyung didn’t have a lot of opportunities to spend time with them but Jeongguk’s schedule was freer due to his injuries so he didn’t have to attend dance practices. That gave them enough time to catch up.As much as Jeongguk was happy to have Taehyung by his side, he was also incredibly frustrated, sexually frustrated. It’s been months since they did anything and now, due to his injuries, Taehyung was extra careful.Once he gave him a bomb blow job but Jeongguk wanted to feel him properly. Anytime their making out got heated, Taehyung pulled away and left the singer with a boner and to say that Jeongguk was on the edge was an understatement. He knew they won’t see each other for a while once Taehyung leaves and seeing him every day and not being able to touch him properly or fuck him was making him crazy.It was the last day of Taehyung’s stay in Korea and he was alone with Jeongguk in the dorm. The other members were at the dance practice. They all planned to have a dinner together later that evening to say goodbye to Taehyung but they weren’t supposed to come for another two hours.Jeongguk and Taehyung were in the living room, watching movies and eating snack the whole afternoon. Few minutes ago they started making out, completely ignoring what was in the TV. Taehyung was getting lost in Jeongguk just like he always did, he was currently sitting on his lap as they were kissing heatedly. The actor was grinding down on the idol, making them both gasp for air and moan in pleasure and Taehyung didn’t really want to stop but he eventually broke the kiss.“I am gonna get us more snacks,” Taehyung coughed, making Jeongguk groan in frustration.“Tae, I swear to god, if you are gonna leave me with another boner, I am gonna go to the kitchen after you, pin you to the counter and fuck you right there,” the singer growled.“You are hurt, Gukkie, you need to be careful,” the actor sighed but whimpered when Jeongguk grabbed his ass cheeks and kneaded them with his large palms.“I am not made of sugar, Tae, this is our last day together and god knows when I see you again. I want you so bad,” Jeongguk mumbled against the skin of Taehyung’s neck where he started kissing him.“I don’t wanna hurt you,” the actor moaned in pleasure at the feeling of Jeongguk’s lips and hands.“You could never hurt me, angel, I promise,” Jeongguk looked at him reassuringly and kissed him again. Taehyung was slowly melting at the feeling of those perfect lips and tongue. He whined helplessly when Jeongguk slipped a hand under his sweatpants and teased his entrance with dry finger. His head was spinning with pleasure and desire as Jeongguk kept teasing him and kissing him.“My right hand is alright, I can still make you feel good and we will be careful,” the idol pleaded.“If you let me ride you and do all the work,” Taehyung gave in and bit his lip, looking at the man under him.“Fuck, whatever you want, angel,” Jeongguk nodded with a smile and dark eyes.“Let me go get the lube then,” the older got up and left Jeongguk there. Thankfully he was back in a minute with a bottle. Then he undressed himself and helped Jeongguk from his clothes until they were both naked. He straddled Jeongguk’s thighs again and sat down on his lap, kissing him again. They started grinding their erections together, getting hotter by each passing second.Jeongguk prepared Taehyung quickly, finger by finger, enjoying the feeling of Taehyung around him and enjoying the way the older was squirming on his lap and his face was scrunched in pleasure.Ten minutes later, Taehyung positioned himself above Jeongguk’s cock and sank down on it. They both moaned in unison, feeling each other again. Being together for days and not doing anything was torturing them both so it felt incredible right now.“Fuck, baby,” Jeongguk grunted under his breath when Taehyung was fully seated on his lap. They were on a sofa in the living room and it was kinda risky since the other members could come home earlier but it wasn’t very likely. Right now neither of them cared though.“Always so big, Gukkie,” Taehyung moaned as he started rolling his hips sensually, driving both of them crazy. Jeongguk’s healthy hand flew to Taehyung’s hip, gripping on it tightly while his injured one was resting on the sofa next to them.Taehyung started bouncing up and down, picking up his speed until he was riding Jeongguk like his life depended on it.“Shit, I love watching you ride me, angel, you look so fucking hot like this,” Jeongguk groaned with hungry eyes, watching Taehyung’s focused face. He was supporting himself on Jeongguk’s shoulders, fucking himself on the singer’s cock, doing all the work like he promised. He was moaning shamelessly at Jeongguk’s dirty talk, he loved it so much. He loved that Jeongguk went from the small shy cute kid to this strong, handsome, confident man who could reduce him to a whimpering mess using his words only.“Kiss me, baby,” Jeongguk breathed out and cupped Taehyung’s cheek. The actor happily complied, connecting their lips in a deep, passionate kiss. After the accident, he felt even more emotionally attached to the singer and every little contact between them was like a taste of drug to him. He kissed Jeongguk eagerly and he kept riding him like there was no tomorrow.“So close,” Taehyung whimpered against Jeongguk’s lips. His heart was beating fast in his chest and his stomach was about to explode as his hard cock was rubbing against Jeongguk’s perfectly toned stomach.“Go on, angel, come for me,” Jeongguk encouraged him with a peck, resting their foreheads together. They were staring at each other, sharing all their emotions through the gazes as they were both nearing their orgasms. They came almost at the same time, Jeongguk spilling inside Taehyung and the actor between their stomachs. They stayed like this for several minutes, panting against each other and kissing urgently.Taehyung left the next day back to Osaka. It was maybe the hardest goodbye he’s ever given to Jeongguk. They were kissing and hugging in Bangtan dorm for god knows how long. Jeongguk was reassuring Taehyung that he will be careful and not hurt himself again. Taehyung was crying as he was walking out of the door. He had no idea how many more times he will be able to do this until he breaks down. He was surprised he still hasn’t.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
FLASHBACK
To say that Jeongguk wasn’t taking Taehyung’s departure well was an understatement. He was still working hard on their nearing comeback and tour but he was distancing himself from the other members. He was often locking himself in Namjoon’s studio or in the dance studio. He was barely in the dorm, when he wasn’t in the company building, he was usually drinking, returning completely smashed. The other members were really worried about him. Weeks went by and he wasn’t getting any better.Namjoon groaned when his sleep was interrupted by his phone buzzing on the nightstand. He could feel the heat of Seokjin’s body next to him and he tried to process what was happening.“Answer the damn phone, Joonie,” Seokjin murmured into the pillow. Namjoon rubbed his eyes and checked out the clock on the wall. It was past three in the morning. He picked up the phone only to see an unknown number.“Hello? Kim Namjoon,” he answered the phone in a raspy voice. First thing he heard was a loud music in the background.“Hyung? Sorry for calling so late. This is Yugyeom, I got your phone from Jackson hyung,” a voice on the other end of line spoke up.“Yugyeom?” the leader asked in confused voice and looked at his boyfriend who was watching him. He knew Yugyeom of course, he was a good kid but they were never keeping in touch or something. He was Jeongguk’s best friend. And then it clicked – Jeongguk. Seokjin looked at him with raised eyebrow, obviously figuring out the same thing.“I am with Jeonggukie, we are in this club and he is completely smashed. I thought of taking him to our dorm but I don’t think I could even get him to a cab without being seen and causing some scandal,” the young man said into the phone.“Where are you?” Namjoon asked.“Red moon club,”“Stay there, me and Jin will come for you. Give us fifteen minutes, okay?” the rapper pinched the bridge of his nose. Seokjin was already sitting, figuring the whole situation out even without hearing the conversation. Namjoon hung up and groaned.“Where?” Seokjin asked and got up from the bed.“Red moon,” Namjoon sighed and got up as well. They pulled just hoodies over their pyjamas. Seokjin grabbed the car keys and they left the dorm quietly, not to wake the other’s up.They put on the hoods and face masks before entering the club. It took them couple of minutes to find the two maknaes in the packed club but they eventually spotted them on a couch. Jeongguk looked half passed out.Yugyeom looked relieved when he saw the two older guys. He started apologizing for waking them up and for not taking care of Jeongguk but Namjoon assured him that it’s okay.The leader and the oldest took the half dead maknae between them and walked out. Jeongguk was babbling something and chuckling under his breath. They drove Yugyeom to his dorm so he didn’t have to take a cab and then took the drunk maknae home.“I didn’t know you were a cab driver in your free time, hyung,” Jeongguk chuckled at Seokjin when they entered the dorm. Seokjin just rolled his eyes at the bad joke. Namjoon crushed into a doorway and the older had to suppress a groan. Dealing with clumsy boyfriend and shit-faced maknae was too much at four in the morning.When they got to the hallway, Yoongi came out of his room. He was woken up by the sounds in the hallway. The couple took Jeongguk to his room and threw him on the bed. Seokjin took of Jeongguk’s shoes and jacket and then also his t-shirt and jeans, leaving him only in underwear. Jeongguk immediately tucked himself under the covers and fell asleep instantly, murmuring something under his breath. Yoongi brought a bucket and put it next to the maknae’s bed just in case the younger woke up and wanted to throw up.“This is getting out of hand,” Seokjin sighed and looked at the two rappers.“I know. We have to talk to him,” Namjoon nodded. It was his responsibility as a leader to keep the group together and right now, their youngest was drifting away.“It’s been only couple of weeks since Taehyung left, give him some time,” Yoongi shrugged.“But when it gets better? We are telling this to ourselves for a past month and it’s not getting better,” Seokjin looked at him.“If at least he was going around and fucked people, then he’d maybe forget about him but he is only drinking his ass off,” Yoongi sighed.“Let him sleep now, we will talk to him tomorrow,” the leader decided and they left the maknae’s room, leaving the door open, just in case.Jeongguk spent most of the next day in bed which was no surprise to anyone. The members had enough time to discuss the burning topic at least so when he came into the kitchen at the evening to get something to eat, they cornered him.“Guk, we need to talk,” Namjoon started.“Is this some intervention or what?” the maknae grumbled.“Sort of,” Namjoon admitted: “We are just really worried, Guk-ah, you are distancing yourself from us and you are drinking a lot.”“Don’t worry, hyung, I’ve got this. I am still working hard, aren’t I? The group is fine,” Jeongguk rolled his eyes.“This isn’t about a fucking group!” Seokjin snapped at that: “We are worried about you! We don’t wanna watch you drink yourself to death.”“It’s not that deep jeez, hyung,” the youngest rolled his eyes again: “It’s not like I am going out every day.”“Well, three or four times a week is still a lot,” Yoongi jumped in: “Listen, kid, we know that it’s hard, you miss Taehyung and all that but you need to get a grip. This needs to stop.”“Let us help you, Gukkie,” Jimin joined in: “We are your best friends, we are family and we take care of each other but when you are distancing yourself, it is hard, you know? Just let us help you, please.”“I am fine, I promise, no need to worry. I’ve got this,” Jeongguk murmured and sneaked around them. They just shared worried and upset looks and few seconds later they heard the maknae closing the door to his room and locking it behind himself.*Jeongguk was sitting by himself at the bar with a beer in front of him. Today has been horrible, they were rehearsing for their upcoming first concert, he couldn’t even sing properly as his voice was strained. Then during a dance practice, he kept fucking up the choreography so when it finally ended, he left the rest of the group behind and went here to this dirty bar where average age of customers was fifty, which was actually pretty convenient because at least no one recognized him and no one was bothering him.Yesterday he saw pap photos of Taehyung from LA. The actor looked as good as ever of course and Jeongguk just missed him so much. For the past hour, he was playing with his phone, considering if he should call him.Taehyung was soundly asleep in his apartment. He already got used to the place after two months of living here, it became his home. Suddenly his phone rang and that woke him up.The actor picked it up when he heard shuffling beside him. He checked the caller ID and his jaw fell in surprise when he saw an upcoming video call from Jeongguk. They haven’t even texted once in the past two months since Jeongguk was mad when he left. He got suddenly nervous, perhaps it was something important. So he answered.“Gukkie?” Taehyung blinked couple of times when the younger appeared on screen.“Tae…” Jeongguk breathed out and opened his mouth to say something but then his gaze fell behind Taehyung’s head. The actor looked behind him, confused and then cursed himself. He didn’t realize that Jeongguk could see the person in the bed next to him. Taehyung got up quickly and rushed to living room.“Who is that?” Jeongguk asked in harsh voice.“Gukkie, let me explain…” Taehyung started but was interrupted.“What is there to explain? You have a guy in your bed and it doesn’t look like you’re having just a sleepover, I can put two and two together,”“Gukkie, don’t be like this…”“Like what?” the younger snapped as Taehyung sat down on the kitchen floor: “I had a really shitty day, Taehyung…” the actor flinched at the use of the whole name, he probably never heard it from the younger and it sent a pang through his chest.“…I just wanted to see you and what do I get? You in a bed with some dude!” Jeongguk babbled.“Gukkie, are you drunk?” Taehyung asked when he noticed Jeongguk was tripping over his words little bit and only then he took in Jeongguk’s surroundings on the screen, noticing he was in some pub or a bar.“I am here in Seoul, missing you like crazy this whole time while you are whoring yourself the minute you leave me!” Jeongguk exclaimed.“That is not fair, Gukkie, we agreed on seeing other people!” Taehyung protested.“I didn’t agree to anything!” the younger barked out: “It was you who wanted this. But you know what? If this is what you want, fine, I am gonna find someone to fuck and maybe I will finally forget you!” Taehyung flinched at Jeongguk’s harsh tone and the way he voiced it. The thought of Jeongguk fucking someone was hurting him so he really couldn’t blame the younger for reacting like this.“Gukkie, please, let’s talk about this. I hate that we fight,” Taehyung whined in pleading voice.“What does it matter? We are half the planet apart anyway and you have no problem finding a guy. So next time you come to Korea, you can go find a different dick because that is obviously the only thing you care about!”“I didn’t care only about your dick when we were together,” Taehyung whispered with a lump in his throat.“So why did you leave me?” Jeongguk whispered back with hurt tone and it was much worse than hearing him scream. Taehyung didn’t say anything to that as a tear made its way down his cheek.“This was a mistake, Tae, goodbye,” the singer sighed.“Don’t you dare hanging up on me like this, Jeongguk, please!” Taehyung cried out in an attempt to stop the singer but he didn’t listen. He ended the call.Taehyung threw his head back against the kitchen cabinet as a sob ripped from his throat. The last two months have been hell, he was missing Jeongguk like crazy, he had to stop himself couple of times from just jumping on a plane back to Korea. This guy in his bedroom was his second hook-up here and Jeongguk had to choose this night to call.Jeongguk left the pub and went to the nearest club. If Taehyung could walk around fucking people, he could too. He was so fucking stupid for believing that the actor missed him too. He bought a shot to a first decent looking guy on the bar and only half an hour later, he fucked him hard in a stall in the restroom. He had his eyes closed the whole time.
PRESENT
Taehyung’s filming in Osaka wrapped up after five months and he moved to US. Now it’s been two months since he got here, the filming was fun, his co-stars and the crew were great but he was exhausted. Not physically but mentally exhausted.He’s been there for two months and it’s been five months since he saw Jeongguk and the others. He and the singer were texting a lot, a lot more than in the past years and as much as Taehyung loved it because he felt close to Jeongguk, he also missed him terribly. After the car accident, something seemed to stir in Taehyung, prospect of losing Jeongguk was hunting him and a lot of feelings and thoughts were coming on surface.Lately he hated coming back to the empty apartment, despite living there for two months already, it didn’t feel like home. The filming was fun but it wasn’t giving him any deep satisfaction like always. He just felt so empty and so alone.You could say that he was going through an existential crisis. He’s been thinking a lot about his life lately. He’s been thinking about his career. He started acting when he was sixteen and he was already quite famous at eighteen – that was when he met BTS. He’s been working abroad a lot for the past seven years and in the past three and half years he hasn’t had a single job in Korea, he always visited his home country only for couple of days.He’s always enjoyed travelling, meeting new people, visiting new cities and all that. He was young and carefree and he was living life to the fullest but lately he just felt like it wasn’t enough anymore. He was tired of feeling lonely, not having his friends and family around him. And especially Jeongguk.Taehyung realized that desire for adventures wasn’t probably the only thing that kept him taking jobs abroad. He realized that he was running, running from Jeongguk and his own feelings. He made his peace with Jeongguk being the love of his life a long time ago, he was very aware of that just like the singer. But it was honestly scaring him. The fact that sometimes he felt like dropping everything he’s worked for, for only one person, that was scary. Giving himself completely to just one person, subordinating his career and everything for him, it didn’t feel right. But was it wrong? If that person truly made him happy, if that person truly loved him and he loved him back? Was it really that bad to want to go back to Jeongguk? God knows Taehyung’s tried to leave him, forget him, erase him but he never could. No matter what, they always found their way back to each other. So maybe Jeon Jeongguk was really his destiny.Three months into living in LA, Taehyung got a text from Bogum, telling him that he’s in the city, asking him if he wants to meet up. He and Bogum, despite breaking up, left off with very good relationship and Taehyung was actually quite excited to see some familiar face. They’ve worked (and dated) together for months after all. So he agreed and they met for a drink in some bar.It was a really nice change to talk to someone who knew him quite well and to see familiar face in the sea of strangers. They were chatting lightly half of the evening and Taehyung had really good time.“Is something happening, Tae?” Bogum looked at him seriously when they were two drinks in.“What do you mean?”“You just seem, I don’t know, distracted and almost…unhappy,” the older actor voiced his concern.“I’m fine, hyung, don’t worry,” the younger gave him a weak smile.“Don’t bullshit me, Tae, I dare to say that I know you quite well and you look different. You are incredibly cheerful person, always smiling, loud but now…I don’t know, you look tired and kinda sad,”“I’ve been just thinking a lot lately,” Taehyung admitted: “How do you feel about living abroad, do you ever get homesick?”“Everyone gets homesick sometimes but it’s not that bad, I work in Korea occasionally too. I guess it’s different for you,” Bogum shrugged.“I just feel really lonely lately,” the younger sighed, letting his vulnerable side show: “I really like filming and travelling but…it isn’t like it used to be. I miss my family and my friends.”“Then maybe it’s time for you to go back and settle down,” Bogum gave him an encouraging smile: “Why is that so bad? You could still get plenty of work in Korea and if you feel like you are tired and miss your family and friends then you shouldn’t push it. You had your fun, you explored the world so maybe you’ve had enough.”“Maybe,” Taehyung admitted.“Tae, you should love what you are doing and if you are not happy here or abroad in general then you shouldn’t push yourself. You’d eventually start hating this job and that would be a shame,”“I just…there is this one person…” Taehyung started. He didn’t feel very comfortable talking about Jeongguk with Bogum, considering that he cheated on him with the singer, but Bogum didn’t know that and he felt like he needed to speak about it with someone who knew him.“We’ve had this thing going on and off for years. He’s really important to me and I am important to him but I always felt like being together would push me away from my career. I tried to distance myself from him, forget him but…anytime we’re together, it all just comes back and I can’t let him go no matter how hard I try,” the young actor voiced his thoughts.“Then why letting him go if he is so important to you?”“I just feel like, I don’t know, I don’t want to subordinate my life and my work to one person, you know? I want to be my own master, do what I want,”“I think that if a person is really special to you then it’s worth it. Subordinating your career to love is wrong but the other way around is just as wrong if not worse, Tae. You might be happy now, only working but it may not be enough in the future. And from the looks of it, it is not enough anymore. If being with this person is what makes you happy then why pushing him away?” Bogum looked at him encouragingly.“Maybe I am scared that we don’t even know how to be together anymore,” Taehyung confessed his fear: “Like really together. We’ve had this weird on and off long distance relationship or whatever you wanna call it for so long that I don’t know if we know how to be truly together.”“It’s not that hard to figure out. Are you happier when you are with him or without him?”“With him,” Taehyung replied without missing a beat.“Then it’s clear, isn’t it?” Bogum gave him a smile. Taehyung bit the inside of his cheek, processing the whole conversation.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
Taehyung’s been thinking about his conversation with Bogum a lot. The older actor was right, he wasn’t really happy and he knew the reason. He wasn’t happy without Jeongguk. He was tired of running away.It seemed that hit thoughts became clearer. He was working a lot but when he wasn’t, he was thinking a lot about the previous years of his life. He wouldn’t change a thing, he lived in so many interesting places and met amazing people, he believed that all that was supposed to happen like this. But he was also realizing that some of the happiest moments of the past years were with Jeongguk by his side.Ever since the car accident, he and Jeongguk weren’t putting the distance between them anymore like they did in previous years. They were often texting and calling and those moments became highlights of Taehyung’s days. He knew deep down in his heart what he wanted.So when he saw the news on twitter, he felt his heart almost break.There were several hashtags trending and the fans were going crazy. One of the biggest Korean magazines caught Taehyung’s attention with the title ‘BTS’ and GOT7’ maknaes more than friends? We have a proof.’Taehyung scoffed. He knew Jeongguk and Yugyeom were very close. They were basically best friends. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel any kind of jealousy and insecurity. The two of them have always had a great chemistry and he knew that Yugyeom was bisexual so he was suddenly nervous. Was it possible that there would be something more between them? He couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t believe that Jeongguk would be with anyone. But then again, they weren’t together, were they? They weren’t exclusive in any way.His heart was pounding when he clicked on the article to look what the proof was. His heart nearly dropped to his stomach when he saw a blurry picture of the two maknaes in a tight hug, which would be fine if it didn’t look like they were kissing. The picture was really bad quality but Taehyung immediately felt dark thoughts flooding him.Did Jeongguk get tired of waiting for him? Well, why wouldn’t he? As long as Taehyung knew, he hasn’t been in any kind of relationship for years. He had some partners here and there but they were only for sex.Did he miss his chance with the idol? His chest felt suddenly too tight. What if it was true? What if Jeongguk and Yugyeom got together? What if they realized they like each other more than friends? If that was the case, Taehyung knew he’d be fucked because Yugyeom was basically perfect for Jeongguk. What if he lost him for good?He felt a tear slipping down his cheek, looking numbly at the blurry picture. What if with all the running and rejecting, he finally chased Jeongguk away? What if he moved on and decided to forget him? But that wasn’t possible, Jeongguk told him he loved him only couple of weeks ago and they were on good speaking terms now. But what if Jeongguk was suddenly so talkative because he decided to move on?“Jiminie,” Taehyung breathed out when he dialled the familiar number.“Tae, hi, is something happening?” Jimin sounded surprised.“I just…um, I saw twitter and…” the younger got out through the lump in his throat. If there was someone who’d know about Jeongguk and Yugyeom it would be Jimin since he was so close with the maknae.“You saw the picture,” Jimin said. It wasn’t a question.“Yeah,” Taehyung peeped almost inaudibly: “Is…is it true?”“I don’t know, Tae,” Jimin sighed: “If they are together, Jeongguk hasn’t told us anything though.”“Well, he’d tell you, right?”“Probably but…maybe not, I don’t know,” Taehyung could hear the insecurity in Jimin’s voice.“Do you think he gave up, Jiminie?” Taehyung whispered, feeling the tears burning in his eyes. His chest was tighter the more he was thinking about the possibility of Jeongguk really dating Yugyeom.“I think he loves you,” Jimin said but then added: “But I also think that…won’t you be mad at me if I am gonna be honest?”“Hit me,”“I think that he might be tired of waiting, Tae,” Jimin said carefully: “He…he really loves you and being apart from you hurts him and maybe it’s too much for him. Maybe he’s at the point he wants to move on. It doesn’t matter if the news is true or not, the point is that it’s too hard for you two to be apart, it’s been going on for years.”Taehyung clasped a hand in front of his mouth to prevent sobs coming out. He didn’t want Jimin to know he was crying even though the singer probably guessed it. Everything Jimin said just hit home, those were his fears, not only now but always. He has always been worried that one of them could come to the point where they’d just decide that it’s time to cut all the strings between them. He just never thought that Jeongguk could really do it. Because he couldn’t, god knows he tried many times but he could never let Jeon Jeongguk go.But Jeongguk promised, he promised he’d wait for him no matter how much time it takes. Maybe some promises were made to be broken. Taehyung just couldn’t make his peace with the fact that it’d be over between them. Jeongguk was the only person he’s ever loved.
FLASHBACK
It’s been almost five months since Taehyung moved from Seoul to LA and almost three months since that video call with Jeongguk when the singer saw another man in his bed. They haven’t even texted since that night and the only updates he had on him and the group were his calls with Jimin. He knew from his friend that Jeongguk wasn’t doing really well and he was blaming himself. If he knew how broken Jeongguk would be when he left, he’d never let the things between them go that far because he knew since the beginning that he’d eventually leave for filming. At the back of his mind, he knew it was a lie though, he knew that he could never resist Jeongguk and that what they had last year was bound to happen.When Taehyung found out that BTS have two shows in LA, he was excited because that meant he will see them but he was also nervous and sad. He didn’t know how to face Jeongguk after everything and he was afraid of what Jeongguk looks like because not seeing him was easier.Taehyung made sure to have at least one free evening and bought a ticket for the show. Only Jimin knew that he was coming and he decided to surprise the others only after the show was over so he wouldn’t distract or upset anyone.The show was great, they were all amazing as Taehyung was watching them from the crowd with face mask and a hat on not to cause any fuss. It was always incredible experience to see Bangtan perform, they were so damn good and their antics on stage were always funny. His chest got always a bit tighter when his eyes slipped to the maknae, seeing him after so many months was not easy and the fact that he looked obviously tired and skinnier was making it even worse.When the show ended, a security guard that Jimin sent, came for him to bring him backstage.“You were amazing but what else could I expect?” Taehyung spoke up in the doorway of the dressing room. Four heads whipped quickly to look at him while Jimin was just grinning. Taehyung immediately noticed that Jeongguk wasn’t there.“Tae!” Hoseok exclaimed when he got over the initial shock and rushed to hug him. Jimin was next in line, hugging Taehyung so he couldn’t almost breathe and the other members repeated his example.“It’s been so long, how are you?” Seokjin ruffled the actor’s hair and smiled brightly. Taehyung’s heart jumped in his chest at the sight of their excited faces, sometimes it was easy to forget that these guys were basically his best friends and he’s really missed them. To be honest, he was really worried that they’d look at him differently, that they’d be upset and blame him for leaving Jeongguk since they were so protective over their maknae. So seeing that they were still treating him the same made him relax.“I’m great, the work is amazing,” the actor admitted.“That’s good,” Seokjin nodded.“The LA air seems to do you good, you look great,” Namjoon smiled when he took in Taehyung’s appearance. He was a bit tanned even though it was only spring but it was already sunny in LA.Taehyung sat down on a chair while the group was getting ready to leave for their hotel. They were chatting about what they’ve been up to when Taehyung spotted a figure in the doorway. His breath caught in his throat when he saw Jeongguk. The maknae was already staring at him with wide eyes, standing there like a salt statue. Everyone went silent.“Hey, Gukkie,” Taehyung cleared his throat awkwardly. Jeongguk was staring at him for couple of seconds without saying anything and then he just turned on his heel and left. Taehyung felt like his heart broke little bit as he was staring to where Jeongguk was standing only couple of seconds ago. The other members were quiet for a minute, eyeing the actor with sympathy.“Tae, are you busy or will you come with us to the hotel so we can catch up?” Jimin eventually broke the awkward silence, knowing that avoiding the topic was the best option right now.“Yeah, no, I am free, I can go,” the actor blinked and smiled at his friend.So that is how Taehyung found himself in Jimin’s hotel room half an hour later, along with the other four guys. Jeongguk didn’t even go with them from the venue, manager told them that he left couple of minutes before them with different car.They ordered a room service with tons of unhealthy food and plundered the mini fridge with the drinks. They were chatting about casual things, it was never hard for them to find some topic and Taehyung was really happy. After months of living here completely alone, it was nice to see the familiar faces. At this point he was hanging out a lot with his co-stars but having people that he’s known for years around was different and definitely welcomed change.“How long are you staying?” Taehyung asked when they finished all the food.“Not long, we have a show in Texas in couple of days, we are leaving on Thursday,” Namjoon informed him. It was Tuesday so there was only one day left. Not that the information would be important but it meant that maybe Taehyung could come see them also tomorrow. He had to work during the day but he was free in the evening.Everyone was avoiding the topic like a plague but it was clear that it’d come up in the course of the evening and Taehyung was the first one to bring it up: “How is he?” he asked in a small voice, eyeing all the members carefully. He didn’t know what their stance on this situation was, he wouldn’t be surprised if they were upset with him for what he did to Jeongguk so bringing up this topic was risky, even though they’ve been treating him nicely so far.“Not good,” Hoseok was first one to reply.“We are not blaming you, you know?” Seokjin looked at the actor as if he could read his thoughts and added: “No one could’ve have known what’d happen after you left and this is none of our business so we are not holding anything against you.”“Thanks, hyung,” Taehyung replied sincerely: “That really means a lot that you’re saying that but that doesn’t change the fact that I hurt him and that he’s acting like this because of me. I don’t know much, only what Jiminie told me. Is it that bad?”“It got a bit better,” Namjoon sighed: “First two months were tough, he was going around, drinking a lot. Then, I don’t know what happened, he suddenly started bringing one night stands home…” Taehyung internally sighed, he knew why, it was after their video call, when Jeongguk saw that guy in his bed.“It calmed down little bit since we started touring but he’s mostly just locked in his hotel room, not really talking to us that much,” the leader continued.“He drinks as fuck,” Yoongi jumped in: “Like really a lot. We met him couple of times in the middle of the night and he was completely smashed.”Taehyung felt horrible. He knew some things from Jimin but he was always sparing him painful details so now hearing that Jeongguk was like this, drinking all the time and distancing himself from the group, it was terrible.“We seriously don’t know what to do anymore,” Seokjin admitted with a deep sigh: “We are worried about him because he won’t open up, he is holding everything inside and he is trying to solve his problems and emotions with drinking and it’s just…we are really worried about him.”“I’m sorry,” Taehyung peeped guiltily.“As Jin-hyung said, it’s not your fault. Everyone reacts differently to break ups,” Hoseok quickly reassured him. Taehyung never told anyone about that video call, not even Jimin. He felt so stupid and guilty for it because if Jeongguk didn’t see him in the bed with that guy, things would probably be better. Seeing him with someone else just hurt Jeongguk even more and triggered this behaviour in him. He had to do something, he couldn’t stand seeing his friends this helpless and he couldn’t stand seeing Jeongguk ruining himself because of him. He’s always been so nice and cheerful ever since they met and now he was broken and Taehyung physically hurt to see him like that.*Taehyung went to see the group also the next evening. Who knows when they will see each other again, so he wanted to use this opportunity. Just like the previous evening, they all met in Jimin’s room and just like the previous evening, Jeongguk wasn’t there. Taehyung wanted to see him so badly, he only saw him for couple of seconds in the doorframe back in the venue last night and it wasn’t enough.So when he left Jimin’s room, slightly tipsy, he knew that he should just go home and try to proceed with his life but of course that didn’t happen. Instead he knocked on the door he knew belonged to Jeongguk and his heart stopped for a second when a familiar person opened the door.“What are you doing here?” Jeongguk glared at him with slightly glossy eyes. He was obviously drinking and Taehyung felt a pang in his chest at the thought of Jeongguk sitting here all night alone and drinking by himself.“Can we talk, please?” Taehyung finally found his words.“I don’t think there is anything to talk about,”“There is,” the actor insisted with desperate expression. He didn’t wait because he knew Jeongguk was just a millisecond from slamming the door shut in his face and slipped inside. The singer sighed but closed the door behind them and turned to look at Taehyung.“You have to stop this, Gukkie,” Taehyung spoke up.“Stop what?”“Drinking and all that. The guys are worried about you and I am too. This isn’t you,” the older voiced his concern.“I am fine,” the idol mumbled and went over to the fridge to pour himself another drink.“No, you’re not!” the actor insisted, closed the gap between them and snatched the bottle from Jeongguk.“You are a mess and it is ruining you and the whole group. You have been working so hard so don’t let anything ruin it for you. I don’t even see that kid I met almost five years ago in you anymore and it hurts me,” Taehyung looked at him with painful expression.“Why do you even care?!” the younger spitted out.“You know why,” Taehyung whispered.“I was so fucking dumb,” Jeongguk laughed joylessly: “I knew that it was just temporary, that you’d leave Seoul eventually but I guess I hoped that you’d change your mind after everything that’s happened between us. Did it mean nothing to you?”“It meant a lot to me, Gukkie. You mean a lot to me,” Taehyung confessed.“Obviously not more than your career,”“That is not fair, Guk, you of all people could understand what it’s like to follow your dreams!” the actor shot back.“I fucking know what it’s like but I thought you’d know what it’s like to care about me just as much as I care about you!” Jeongguk exclaimed angrily.“I care about you!” Taehyung screamed back.“Obviously not enough for you to consider my feelings! You didn’t even bother to come to me and tell me about the job offer you got, you made the decision all by yourself and then you just told me that you leave in a weak!” the idol was fuming at this point, everything that’s been bubbling inside him for months was finally coming out: “And I was happy for you because I knew it was important for you but you decided for both of us that we were not worth it. Not even a fucking long distance relationship. So you just turned tail and said we should see other people and hoped we’d go back to where we were before. We might have never talked about it but you fucking know that we were together! We were together and you just left me as if I meant nothing to you!”“You know that it’s not true,” Taehyung choked out with tears in his eyes. Everything Jeongguk just said hit home, it was all true and Taehyung knew it deep down. He knew that he was the one who ruined everything, the one who broke Jeongguk’s – and his own – heart and he knew that Jeongguk’s drinking habits were his fault.“Everything we’ve done was so fucking stupid since the beginning. We were two stupid kids who thought that occasional hook-ups are fine and it was fine for years but then it just all went to shit. It was so fucking stupid to fall for you,” Jeongguk got out in broken voice. Taehyung was just staring at him, with tears slowly rolling down his cheeks because what could he say?“I don’t fucking know what to do, Taehyung, I am so fucked. Part of me wishes that we never met, part of me knows that what we have is so fucking wrong but at the same time, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t know what to do!” Jeongguk breathed out, on the verge of tears. Taehyung was full on crying at this point, everything Jeongguk’s been saying was so true, he felt exactly the same way.“Not being with you is so hard but being with you is horrible too and now you are standing here and all I can think of is how much I wanna fucking kiss you,” the idol spoke up after a minute of silence. Taehyung looked up at him, both of them were crying, everything was so fucked up but they were both aching for each other. They have been always driven towards each other and this time was no exception.So when both of them moved at the same time, neither of them was surprised. Jeongguk grabbed Taehyung’s cheeks at the same time Taehyung fisted the t-shirt on Jeongguk’s chest and they crushed their lips together. Taehyung released a sound, half of relief, half of desperation. The kiss was messy and salty with their tears but their lips moulded together perfectly, still remembering each other after all this time.“Let’s do it like you wanted,” Jeongguk breathed out when they separated. Taehyung looked at his questioningly.“We can see other people when we’re apart but when we see each other, I want you to be with me, only me, even if for couple of days,” the idol explained.“I don’t know, Gukkie,” Taehyung bit his lip hesitantly. That sounded too complicated.“I don’t wanna let you go and I know that you don’t wanna let me go either. Hell, we are probably not even able to do that,” Jeongguk chuckled bitterly: “I will wait for you, I don’t care how many years it will take for you to come back home, I know that when you finally do, you will come back to me.”“I can’t ask that from you,” the older whispered.“You’re not asking, I’m offering,” Jeongguk corrected him: “I know it’s fucked up and not ideal but what in our relationship has ever been ideal? Let’s do this, let’s promise to each other that whenever we see each other, we will enjoy that time together.”“Okay,” Taehyung nodded eventually. He knew it was fucked up but he knew Jeongguk was right, they were not able to let go of each other and being together at least couple of days a year was better than nothing.Jeongguk let out a choked up laugh when Taehyung agreed and dived in to reconnect their lips. They were laughing softly against each other’s lips, both strangely relieved. The solution was not ideal but it was what they both wanted and needed.“I love you, Tae,” Jeongguk confessed as he pressed his forehead against the actor’s, caressing his cheeks with thumbs and looking him right in the eyes: “I love you so fucking much and I hate it but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”“I love you too, Gukkie, so much,” Taehyung confessed in a whisper and more tears burst from his eyes as he let the confession out. It’s been weighting his heart for so long and letting it out was kinda painful but so liberating at the same time.They kissed again, more desperately this time. They were both overwhelmed by the emotions and the feeling of each other. Jeongguk’s arms were wrapped around Taehyung’s waist, holding him impossibly close as if he was afraid he’d disappear.“Touch me, Gukkie,” Taehyung whispered when they separated to catch their breaths: “Make love to me.”“Whatever you want, angel,” Jeongguk smiled softly. Taehyung felt a tug at the familiar pet name that he hasn’t heard for months.Jeongguk did what Taehyung requested. They moved over to the bed, slowly undressed each other, kissing and touching every piece of exposed skin like they wanted to remember every inch. Their lips were bruised from the kissing and Taehyung’s neck and chest were soon covered in hickeys.Jeongguk thoroughly prepared Taehyung with his fingers, pushing all the right buttons and making him slowly come apart under him. When he finally slipped inside him, it was like fireworks went off in their heads, finally feeling each other after months. The confessions that were hanging above them for years made everything even more intense and Jeongguk fucked Taehyung slowly and deeply, until they both reached their heights completely undone.They were rolling in the bed sheets all night long, cuddling, making out and making love until Jeongguk had to leave to the airport.Since that night, it became their tradition. Whenever they saw each other, even if only for couple of days, they always spent them together, enjoying every moment together. Leaving was always hard but it was better than not being together at all. Whatever they had wasn’t perfect but it was everything they needed.
A/N: End of the flashbacks, next final chapters will be in present storyline
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
Taehyung was excited about the wedding, he got the invitation couple of months ago. It couldn’t be held in Korea obviously so Namjoon and Seokjin had to decide for different country and USA was the best option.It’s been half a year since he last saw Jeongguk and the others when he was driving from LA up north. The couple rented some mansion in the middle of nowhere with a big property, guarded by walls. They even had cover up for the event – since basically all of their staff members were invited, if someone found out about BTS being there, they’d just say that they were rehearsing or filming something. But as Taehyung was scrolling on twitter just the day before, he didn’t find any signs of anyone knowing that the group wasn’t in Korea.It wasn’t just one day event, they wanted to make sure everything was in place and they also wanted to enjoy couple of days off so it was held for couple of days. Besides Taehyung and the group’s staff, there would be of course family members and couple of friends but it was not going to be anything huge. They needed to stay as low-key as possible.Taehyung didn’t find the guts to ask Jeongguk about the dating rumours with Yugyeom. They were still texting and calling pretty often and in those times, he didn’t think about it. He was just happy. But when he was thinking about it, his heart felt heavy. Was it really possible that Jeongguk was in a relationship and didn’t tell him? Maybe that was the reason why he seemed so casual when they were communicating.He didn’t know what their reunion will be like. In the past, it never stopped them from getting together when one of them – usually Taehyung – was dating someone. But if Jeongguk was really with Yugyeom and if he was happy, Taehyung was sure that the younger wouldn’t break. He didn’t know if he could handle the rejection. He didn’t know if he’d handle being with Jeongguk for several days, pretending like there was never anything between them.But he was sure about one thing. He’s been thinking about a lot of stuff lately – about how he reacted after Jeongguk’s accident, how he reacted to the article about him and Yugyeom, about how they were now in contact, about his conversation with Bogum and lots of other things and he decided that on this weekend, he will come to conclusion. He was tired of running, he was ready to run one last time but he didn’t know in which direction yet, if it was to Jeongguk or away from him. Either way, they both deserved a conclusion after almost seven years of knowing each other. They’ll either end up together or move on, those were the only options because what they’ve had for those past years was hurting both of them. He had no idea what he or Jeongguk were going to do on this weekend but he was determined to enjoy those couple of days with Jeongguk if it was possible and then just finally follow his instincts and his heart.It was after ten p.m. when he finally got there since he had to film till the evening and the ride was almost three hours long. He was exhausted but he knew that once he sees Jeongguk and the others, any trace of exhaustion will go away.He was let in by a guard at the gate because he was expected and drove to the mansion. It was beautiful, not too huge or pompous but the gardens around were surely breathtaking. He knew that the wedding will be held outside so he understood why Namjoon and Seokjin chose this place, apart from being far away from civilisation.He decided to get a key and put his stuff into the hotel room before going to meet the others because he knew that once he sees them, he won’t be able to leave.So he made his way to the reception desk, took his key and rode up in the elevator to find his room. He eventually decided to also take a shower because he didn’t take it after he finished filming and driving for three hours was just disgusting. He wanted to see the guys as soon as possible but he hasn’t seen them for six months, twenty more minutes was nothing. Besides, there was a possibility that this night will end up with Jeongguk so he wanted to be clean.He put on just casual jeans and shirt, he didn’t bother to remove his light make-up from filming and didn’t style his hair, he wanted to feel relaxed and he couldn’t wait any longer. His heart was already beating so fast, he was pretty sure that once he sees Jeongguk, it will probably jump out of his chest.Taehyung made his way down. He got a text from Jimin earlier, informing him that after dinner they start preparing the main hall. The wedding wasn’t going to be anything too fancy so they will prepare everything themselves with the help of stuff, family and friends. BigHit took care of catering and they even rented this mansion, sort of like a wedding gift for the couple. Taehyung thought it was very sweet and thoughtful, he’s always thought the boys’ company was amazing.When he got down, he followed a loud music, he was absolutely positive, that they were setting up the music system and now were messing with it. And he was right. When he entered, the hall was mostly dark, only some laps turned on here and there. There was a small platform in the middle with a dance floor with big speakers. Right now, something that Taehyung could only describe as a dance battle was going on and he was not surprised in the slightest. He leaned against the doorframe and watched the scene with a huge smile.His heart skipped a beat when he spotted Jeongguk battling with Hoseok and one of their young staff members and everyone was laughing loudly. Taehyung has always loved watching Jeongguk dance, he couldn’t count how many hours of concert footage focused on the younger he has watched over the years. He was just breathtaking.After two minutes of Taehyung watching everyone having fun, Jimin finally spotted him and shrieked in excitement. Taehyung didn’t miss all the bottles scattered on the tables so he knew his friend was already tipsy.Soon he was bombarded by bodies hugging him. He was laughing like crazy as everyone was trying to reach him and greet him. When the huddle around him thinned out, he was staring right at Jeongguk who was staring back with wide eyes. From here, he could see Jeongguk was not even breathing and he felt warmth spreading in his chest. As much as he was imagining their reunion for the past weeks, seeing the idol now had nothing on those fantasies. There was the small tightness in his chest, the doubts, the thoughts of Jeongguk not hugging him tightly and kissing him like he always did but he tried to push it deep inside.The others stepped aside from Taehyung to give them space and Jeongguk closed the gap in quick footsteps. The idol’s arms wrapped around his waist without any hesitation and soon Taehyung felt those familiar lips pressing against his. He kissed Jeongguk eagerly back, completely lost in the moment. He felt all the insecurities going away, he didn’t care if Jeongguk was with someone, it was just the two of them now.When they separated, almost breathless, Taehyung buried his nose into Jeongguk’s neck, smelling the familiar cologne and he let himself close his eyes and relax against the familiar firm body.“I missed you so damn much, angel,” Jeongguk whispered against his ear and the pet name immediately set off butterflies in Taehyung’s stomach.“Missed you too, Gukkie, so much,” the actor mumbled into the other’s neck emotionally. Reuniting with Jeongguk always felt good and this time wasn’t any different, even though Jeongguk was probably in a relationship. Taehyung didn’t know if Jeongguk won’t snap out of it at some point of the evening, so he wanted to enjoy his proximity as much as possible.They were hugging each other for god knows how long, Jeongguk was swaying them lightly from side to side as he was caressing Taehyung’s hair.“Let’s get you something to drink,” Jeongguk smiled when they finally let go of each other and Taehyung nodded eagerly. As much as he couldn’t wait to be alone with the younger – if that moment would even come - he was excited to see the others as well so he didn’t want to leave.Not long after that, after couple of drinks, Hoseok forced Taehyung into joining the dance battle and he happily accepted. He wasn’t the best dance, he had surely nothing on the idols, but he wasn’t that horrible either and right now, he was feeling pretty great.Everyone seemed in a great mood, having couple of free days without working was unusual for all of them – staff included – so they really let themselves go. The mood was so positive and Taehyung just felt really happy, it was like coming home when he was there, just mindlessly fooling around with Jimin and Hoseok.As the night was progressing, some people started leaving and less and less people were dancing. Those who stayed up were mostly sitting around the tables, chatted and drank.Taehyung and Jeongguk were sitting together, side by side, occasionally sharing kisses while they were chatting with the other five members.Taehyung felt giddy when he felt Jeongguk’s hand caressing his inner thigh, he was getting more restless and he knew that Jeongguk was too. He nearly choked when he felt Jeongguk pressing his palm under the table firmly against his crotch and he tried hard not to react to it.The maknae was a bit tipsy – just like all of them – so he started shamelessly kissing Taehyung’s neck after a while, while he was still teasing him under the table. Taehyung had to do everything in his willpower not to close his eyes and moan. There were people around them, and even though they didn’t even blink at their antics, it’d still be embarrassing as hell.“Jeongguk,” Taehyung breathed out as he turned his head to the side.“What is it, baby?” the idol chuckled against the skin of his neck, brushing his fingers over Taehyung’s prominent erection.“Let’s get out of here,” Taehyung pleaded him. He just couldn’t wait any longer to feel Jeongguk touch him properly, it’s been too damn long and he was aching for any type of intimacy. The thoughts about Jeongguk being possibly in a relationship were buried somewhere deep inside.The singer finally looked at him and before he could respond, Taehyung kissed him desperately, knocking the air from his lungs.“Take it to your room!” Jimin groaned and made the couple break the kiss.“Oh, we are,” Jeongguk grinned smugly and got up. He stretched a hand to Taehyung, the older happily took it and let the younger pull him up to his feet, pressing him to his side (and hiding his boner successfully to the side of Jeongguk’s thigh).“Have fun, kids,” Seokjin chuckled as the young couple set off to leave.“But not too much fun, the walls are not soundproof,” Yoongi yelled at them.“How do you know?” Hoseok laughed.“Seems like Jin-hyung and Joon decided to have a rehearsal for the wedding night last night,” the rapper grumbled.“Well then you might want to change your room because it is between ours and Guk’s,” Seokjin started laughing.“Oh god, kill me,” Yoongi groaned. He is so going to change rooms tomorrow.As soon as Jeongguk and Taehyung got out to the hallway, they couldn’t hold back anymore. Jeongguk shamelessly slammed Taehyung against the wall and kissed him eagerly.“Shit, I missed this, I missed you so much,” the idol got out in between the kisses.“Missed you too,” Taehyung nodded, out of his breath: “Come on, let’s go.”They made it to the elevator but as soon as they got in, since no one was there, they were all over each other again, kissing heatedly.“Fuck, Gukkie,” Taehyung moaned shamelessly when the younger grinded his hips on him, making him instantly even harder. Jeongguk unbuttoned couple of buttons on Taehyung’s shirt and got his mouth on the collarbones that he loved so much.The building wasn’t tall so they were soon alerted by a ‘ding’ that the elevator stopped but they didn’t stop their heated make out session, too worked up to care.“Let’s go,” Jeongguk broke the kiss eventually and dragged Taehyung out, right towards his room. They had separate rooms and Jeongguk’s was closer so they ended up there.The idol unlocked the door with almost trembling fingers and when they were inside, he pressed Taehyung against the door.“Shit, all the things I wanna do to you,” Jeongguk groaned as he grabbed Taehyung’s cheeks tenderly and kissed him again.“We have all night for that,” the older chuckled into the kiss.“How do you want it, angel?” Jeongguk asked, just like he always did and Taehyung felt those butterflies again because these kinds of familiar gestures made him realize that nothing has really changed between them throughout the years.“Fast and hard, I’ve waited for this for too long,” Taehyung breathed out with dilated pupils.“You read my mind,” the younger grinned at him and almost ripped the shirt from his body.They stumbled to the bed, undressing each other in the process without any finesse. By the time Taehyung’s back hit the mattress and Jeongguk lied on top of him, they were both naked and also very hard.“Your skin is too clean, I have to change that,” Jeongguk murmured as he took in Taehyung under him. His skin was awfully empty of any marks and he ached to get his mouth on him.“Do it, I love when you mark me,” Taehyung breathed out with hazy eyes and so Jeongguk did. He kissed and sucked bruises in every part of the smooth skin he could reach. Neither of them cared that Taehyung will look like he was attacked by a bear after the night, he was always wearing the marks with pride and the process was too pleasurable.The actor was shamelessly moaning by the time Jeongguk got to his thighs which was arguably one of the favourite parts that the idol loved kissing and biting.But then something snapped in Taehyung. He suddenly imagined Jeongguk doing all those things to Yugyeom, being intimate with him, calling him pet names and he just couldn’t. In the past, it never mattered because they didn’t know each other’s partners but this was different. Taehyung knew Yugyeom, he was a great guy, always so nice to him and the thought that Jeongguk would cheat with him on Yugyeom made him feel sick.“Wait, Gukkie…” Taehyung pulled back from the idol. Jeongguk looked at him confusedly from where he was lying between his thighs.“I-I can’t do this,” Taehyung shook his head with a choked up voice: “I know this is our arrangement and all that but…I can’t do this if you are in a relationship. I like Yugyeom and-““Wait, what?” Jeongguk interrupted him with a snort: “Tae, you think I am with Yugyeom?”“Well, I saw the articles and the photo and…” the older looked at him with wide eyes.“Tae, it was only rumours. That photo that allegedly showed us kissing? It was just bad lighting and angle,” Jeongguk laughed at the idea of him with his best friend and shuffled up to sit next to the older: “We just hugged but that’s it. I can promise you that we are not together, I love him, he’s my best friend but he is only that. How could you even think I’d get together with someone? Don’t you remember what I promised? I want only you, I always did and I always will.”“I just…I thought you got finally tired of waiting for me,” Taehyung choked out a sob, tears running down his cheeks. He just broke down, after the months of having those fears, it all went out.“I promised I will wait for you no matter what, angel,” Jeongguk smiled softly, brushing his tears away: “I’d lie if I said that it’s not hard but…I know that sooner or later you will come back to Korea and that we will be together.”“Why do you even want me, Gukkie? Why do you still love me? I don’t deserve it after everything I’ve done, after how much I hurt you,” the actor sniffled, looking at the other with teary eyes. He felt horrible, he’s always felt guilty, he knew that most of the bad things that happened between them were his fault and after the past months of thinking about it, it was too much.“You deserve someone you will be happy with, not someone like me. Why do you still love me?” Taehyung babbled, full on crying.“I don’t know. That’s how love works though, isn’t it?” Jeongguk chuckled a bit sadly: “Sometimes we don’t know why we love a person but we do. I love you, Tae, and I know I will always love you. You are stupid to think that I could ever be with someone else.”Taehyung got out a bubbly laugh, throwing himself into Jeongguk’s arms. The younger pressed him close to himself, caressing his hair as he was crying into his naked chest, overwhelmed with emotions and relief.When he calmed down, he leaned in and kissed the idol, putting all the emotions into the kiss. He knew he didn’t deserve him, anyone else would get tired of his shit a long time ago but not Jeongguk, he was still there after all this time.Their kisses started getting more heated again now when the air between them was clearer and soon Jeongguk got to his previous job of marking Taehyung with his mouth. Now when Taehyung knew there wasn’t a third person in the equation, he could finally fully enjoy this. He was a moaning mess soon.“Hurry up, Gukkie, I want you,” Taehyung whined impatiently. He couldn’t wait any longer, he was aching to be connected with Jeongguk in the most intimate way after months of being apart.Thankfully the idol was on the same page. He stretched over Taehyung to the bedside table and took out the bottle of lube.“No condoms?” Jeongguk asked to make sure. They never used them together but he wanted to be sure.“No condoms, you know I don’t sleep with anyone without them,” Taehyung confirmed. Not that he’d sleep with anyone in the past six months. And now he knew that Jeongguk hasn’t either. “Oh god,” Taehyung choked out when he felt a slick finger circling his entrance. He’s touched himself there and even fucked himself with a dildo but feeling someone touching him like this was always better and Jeongguk has always been the best, driving him crazy even before he even pushed inside.Thankfully the idol didn’t tease for too long and pushed a finger in, making Taehyung moan and arch his back.“F-feels so good, always s-so good,” the actor moaned helplessly at the feeling of the finger dragging inside his body and soon he was stretched by another finger.“Fuck, angel, I can’t wait to be inside you,” Jeongguk confessed breathlessly as he was watching Taehyung’s blissful expression and scissored and fucked his fingers in and out.“Then get in,” Taehyung looked at him with lustful eyes.“Are you sure? I should prep you more. I don’t wanna hurt you,” the younger looked at him with concern. Taehyung smiled and brought Jeongguk’s face down to share a sweet kiss. Jeongguk was always making sure that he was gentle, even when they were in rush and Taehyung loved him for that even more.“I am ready, I can’t wait anymore,” Taehyung reassured him quietly: “I need you inside me, I wanna feel you splitting me open.”“Shit, baby,” Jeongguk groaned at the shameless plea but he knew Taehyung well enough to know that he can take it. So he didn’t waste any more time, lubed up his painfully hard erection and positioned himself between the older’s spread legs.They shared a look and a deep kiss and the idol pushed inside. Taehyung was letting set of high-pitched moans into his mouth as he was going in. Both of them were panting, the feeling of each other after such a long time was incredible.“F-fuck, Gukkie, I-” Taehyung whimpered.“I know, angel,” Jeongguk nodded. He knew what Taehyung meant, they were both overwhelmed by emotions at the moment, it was almost too much.“Move, Gukkie, fuck me like you mean it,” the actor wiggled his ass and encouraged the younger. Jeongguk pulled almost all the way out and slowly pushed back in, repeating the action couple of times to let the older adjust.When Taehyung wrapped his legs around his waist, bringing him closer, that was a cue for Jeongguk to let go and so he did. He started snapping his hips, quickly building up the speed.“Yes, just like that, fuck!” Taehyung cried out. Jeongguk was hitting all the right places inside of him and it was clear that neither of them will last long this first round, they never did.“Fuck, I missed this so much, always so perfect, so tight,” Jeongguk babbled as he was trying to messily kiss the other. Taehyung was moaning into his mouth and he was swallowing all the beautiful sounds happily.“So close, Gukkie, shit,” Taehyung choked out and gripped Jeongguk’s hand. Their fingers intertwined at the side of Taehyung’s head, holding onto each other for dear life as Jeongguk was pounding into the older.“Come on, angel, come for me. You are so beautiful when you come on my cock, wanna see you,” Jeongguk encouraged the other, looking down at him with hooded, almost black eyes, fucking him mercilessly to bring him over the edge.Taehyung threw his head back which Jeongguk used to suck more bruises into his neck. The actor’s leaking erecting was rubbing between their bodies and Jeongguk was fucking him so good.“No one can fuck me like you do, baby,” Taehyung whimpered and brought the younger down for a sloppy kiss. After couple more seconds, his whole body locked up, back arched from the bed and he let out a strangled moan into Jeongguk’s mouth as he finally found his release and spilled between their stomachs.“Shit, baby, so beautiful,” Jeongguk moaned as he saw Taehyung’s blissful expression. He kept chasing his own release, fucking Taehyung through his orgasm until he was whimpering from sensitivity.“Come on, Gukkie, fill me, wanna feel you,” Taehyung moaned breathlessly and those words threw the younger over the edge. Jeongguk let out couple of curses, his hips stuttered and he came with a groan inside the familiar heat. He thrusted in and out sloppily, riding his orgasm as his whole body was trembling and after few seconds he finally collapsed on top of the actor.They spent the whole night up, just like was their tradition. They were kissing under the water when they went to take a shower, they cuddled and they fucked until they were both sore and exhausted.The next morning when Taehyung opened his eyes, the sun was already high up in the sky, peeking through the curtains. Jeongguk was soundly asleep next to him, looking so peaceful and young like this. The last night was amazing and Taehyung felt the pleasurable soreness after their antics but the best part of it all was waking up next to Jeongguk like this.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
The second day was full of preparations. Everyone got involved to make sure everything was in place for the wedding. Most of family members and friends would arrive later so it was just BTS and their staff mostly. Even though they were working, it was still fun. Taehyung felt relaxed and nice, he’s always kinda envied the guys for having each other and their staff who were basically their family at this point so they never really felt lonely. That was something Taehyung never really knew since he was always moving from one movie to another.He and Jeongguk were basically attached to each other’s hip, messing around most of the time, just having fun and Taehyung suddenly felt like he was eighteen again, completely carefree and happy.The next day started pretty similarly, they were preparing the wedding, only this time they were outside because that is where the ceremony was going to be. It was beginning of summer so the temperature was nice since the morning but it was not too hot yet.After couple of hours of setting things, Jeongguk somehow ended up chasing Taehyung around the garden – maybe because Taehyung kept poking him in the ass with some stick – and when he finally caught him, they accidently stumbled and fell into a fountain. When they emerged to surface, both completely soaked, they were laughing like couple of idiots. The other members were making fun of them but they were all grinning fondly because seeing those two genuinely happy made them happy.They were lying and laughing in the fountain for couple of minutes. There was no rush of getting out since they were already completely wet.When they finally got out, they started chasing the others, trying to hug them to get them wet. Eventually, Jeongguk and Taehyung chased down Yoongi and threw the cursing and screaming rapper into the fountain as well while the other members were cheering excitedly.After that, the two rather ran back to the hotel to get changed into dry clothes to avoid Yoongi’s wrath.In the afternoon, Jeongguk suggested going on a hike, just the two of them and Taehyung would be lying if he said he didn’t get butterflies at the prospect of a date. They haven’t been on any for like three years and having Jeongguk just for himself was a nice thought.Jeongguk convinced the managers to let them go alone, it was highly unlikely that they’d meet someone who’d recognize them, here in the middle of nowhere. The managers eventually gave in because they weren’t in a mood of dealing with anything, they wanted to enjoy those couple of free days as well.Taehyung changed into comfortable sandals, baggy long pants and long sleeved t-shirt and beret and he was not surprised in the slightest when he saw Jeongguk in his typical black jeans, sneakers, short sleeved t-shirt and Ray bans on his nose. He was dressed up so casually, yet he looked so hot and Taehyung sometimes found it hard to recall how Jeongguk looked liked seven years ago. He never failed to take his breath away.They went up the hill just outside of the mansion, not too far. The late afternoon sun was nice and the peace and quiet of the fields and trees surrounding them was just perfect. Jeongguk sneaked his hand to Taehyung’s intertwining their fingers and Taehyung remembered couple of similar dates from three years ago when they’d drive outside of Seoul to walk around woods and have some time for themselves. Back then, everything was perfect before he accepted the job in the States and ruined it.He shook off the negative thoughts, he didn’t want anything to ruin his moments with the idol, he decided to enjoy this weekend to the fullest and that was what he was going to do. They were chatting lightly all the way up the hill and after an hour, they finally reached the top.“It’s beautiful from here,” Taehyung smiled when he looked around the landscape. Everything was so green and there were still some flowers since it was late spring. It was completely quiet, except for birds chirping and wind rustling through the leaves of nearby trees.“It is,” Jeongguk confirmed but when Taehyung looked at him, the idol was looking at him with dopey smile.“You’re so fucking cheesy,” the actor snorted with a laugh and shoved Jeongguk in the chest playfully.“Please, you love it,” the younger grinned. Well, Taehyung couldn’t argue with that, which was also confirmed by a pink blush colouring his cheeks.“Are you hungry?” Jeongguk asked after a while.“Actually kinda yes, it is going to be a dinner time in a while,” Taehyung pouted.“Well, then you will be more grateful than ever for my cheesy ass,” Jeongguk laughed and took off the backpack from his shoulders. He pulled out a blanket from inside, spreading it over the soft grass and then pulled out two cans of soda and couple of containers with food.“Oh my god, a picnic?” Taehyung shrieked excitedly. The idol nodded with a wide smile, seeing Taehyung’s enthusiasm.“I was wondering why you took that huge-ass backpack! You’re the best, Jeonggukie,” the older chuckled and gave the other a grateful kiss on the cheek before they both settled on the ground.“I can’t believe you packed all these things to prepare a picnic for me,” Taehyung grinned stupidly when they started eating the sandwiches that Jeongguk prepared along with some veggies.“I just wanted to do something nice for you,” the younger shrugged with the slightest blush: “And don’t get me wrong, spending time with you in the bedroom is extremely amazing but I thought that going out like this would be nice.”“It is nice,” the actor assured him, rubbing his cheek lovingly. God, the things Jeon Jeongguk could do to his heart were unbelievable.The sun started slowly setting by the time they were finished with their small dinner and Taehyung found himself snuggled comfortably against Jeongguk’s side, just watching the landscape and the sky. They were both silent but it was comfortable and almost comforting. Taehyung was a chatty person and he wasn’t a huge fan of silence but he never felt a huge urge to speak around Jeongguk, that was how comfortable he was around him.“I could be here all day,” Taehyung confessed. They somehow lied down. Jeongguk was lying flat on his back, with one arm under his head while Taehyung was lying partly on top of him and his hand was stroking his back lightly. The actor’s head was resting on his chest and it was honestly one of Taehyung’s favourite places to lie.Jeongguk hummed in agreement and lifted Taehyung’s chin with his fingers to bring him for a soft kiss. They got lost in each other for couple of minutes, kissing lazily under the sky. It was so liberating, not only being together, but being together like this in public, not having to worry about paps or fans. There was still some risk of course but they haven’t seen a single soul in all those hours of being outside.“We should get going soon, it will be dark in a while,” Jeongguk murmured against Taehyung’s lips, biting the plump bottom lip lightly.“Just a bit longer,” Taehyung pleaded and glued his mouth back to the idol’s.“Whatever you want, angel,” the younger hummed and kissed the other back. After a while they went back to the comfortable silence, looking up at the yellowish sky. Taehyung hasn’t felt so nice for so long, he felt so warm and relaxed and right at that moment, everything was perfect.They stumbled down the hill when it was already dark. Jeongguk was lighting up the path with his phone while the actor was clinging to him like a koala for support and protection. But it was okay because he felt completely safe with Jeongguk.*The evening before the wedding, everyone gathered at the back of the mansion where a big porch was. There were no bachelor parties since Seokjin and Namjoon had pretty much the same friends so they wanted to enjoy the evening with everyone. There was a lot of meat for the grill and other delicious food and drinks and it was a nice warm night.“You’re shivering,” Jeongguk pointed out when he came over to Taehyung where he was sitting in a lounge chair with a glass of wine, watching everyone from afar.“I am good,” the actor protested but he felt a hoodie being placed on his shoulders and he immediately snuggled into it, taking in the familiar cologne.“I could just go upstairs to get myself something,” Taehyung mumbled.“I don’t mind, I am not cold,” Jeongguk hummed and massaged his shoulders: “And I like it when you’re wearing my clothes.”“I like it too,” the older admitted with a smile.“Why are you sitting here all alone? Don’t you wanna join us? We’re playing board games,” the idol invited him.“I am good, I am really comfy right now and it’s nice to just watch you,” Taehyung replied quietly and sincerely. Something about watching the others play and laugh loudly was so nice and relaxing.“I can stay here with you,” Jeongguk offered. “No, please, go play, I don’t mind,” the older quickly reassured him.“Okay,” Jeongguk nodded and bent down over Taehyung so his head was upside down and pecked his lips softly. The older hummed contently into the kiss and smiled as he watched the younger go back to the others and join in another round of a game.Taehyung was watching the others playing a game. His eyes were mostly focused on Jeongguk, watching his facial expressions. How he furrowed his eyebrows when he was frustrated, how his face lit up when he did well or how he bit his lip when he was concentrating, all that was so familiar. He was so immersed in watching the game that he didn’t notice Seokjin sitting on a chair next to him.“You have proper heart eyes,” the oldest BTS member chuckled teasingly.“I don’t,” Taehyung mumbled with a blush.“You do,” Seokjin snorted: “You look really happy you know? These past few days, it is really nice to see. And Guk too, I don’t even remember when was the last time I saw him this happy and relaxed.”Taehyung felt a bit of guilt after hearing those words. He knew that Jeongguk has been through some hardships in the past years and he knew that he was the reason of many of them. He knew the other members felt often shitty because they loved and cared for their maknae so much so it was hard for them to see him down. Taehyung was actually kinda surprised that they all didn’t hate him at this point.“I am really happy, hyung,” Taehyung admitted and smiled at the older, immediately looking back at Jeongguk: “I feel so relaxed and nice, probably for the first time in like three years. I am just enjoying it here, trying not to think about the future too much.”“That’s good,” the older nodded: “You two have always had heart eyes for each other but it’s a bit different now I’d say. It’s almost like before there has been also something different, some kind of fear.”“There probably was,” the actor nodded in agreement: “Whenever I saw Jeonggukie, I was happy but I always thought about what it’d be like after we separate again. I don’t know, it’s different now.”“You know, he seems kinda happier for the past months,”“We’ve been actually texting and calling a lot since that car accident. We didn’t do that that much in the past,”“Well, that would explain all those times I caught him grinning stupidly at the phone,” Seokjin laughed quietly. Taehyung looked at him with wide eyes, feeling warmth spreading in his chest. Jeongguk was smiling at the phone because of him? He didn’t even know why he was so surprised by the information because he was very well aware that he was doing the same.“Anyway, is there any particular reason why are you not scared to separate this time? Why is it different than all those times before?” Seokjin broke the short silence, giving the other a suspicious and kinda knowing look.“I don’t know, hyung, there are a lot of things I think about. But I decided that it’s finally time for some conclusion,”“Well, whatever conclusion you’ll make, I am really happy and proud of you for making this decision because you both deserve to move on, whatever direction it may be. Of course I’d wish you’d get together and be happy but even if you separate for good, it’s better than this thing that’s been going on and off for years,” Seokjin nodded understandingly.“Can I ask you something, hyung?” Taehyung spoke up after couple of minutes of silence between them.“Sure, shoot,” the older nodded.“I know how you guys got together but like, how did you realize you wanna be with Namjoon-hyung? You’ve had crush on each other for years, everyone who knows you knew it. What made you make that step, what made you realize that you wanna be really with him?”“Mm, well, there were more factors of course. We’ve been always close and I’ve always liked him, he is handsome and kind and all that, you know,”“No, I know, I mean, when and why did you realize that you wanna give you two a shot after so many years of basically suppressing your feelings?” Taehyung specified his question.“I guess that the main moment came when I realized I wasn’t really happy, you know?” Seokjin looked in front of him, thinking about it and choosing the right words: “Despite everything we’ve achieved in those years, after all the hard work, all the success, money and stuff, I realized that I am not fully happy. I actually kinda hated my job for a while.”“Really?” the actor looked at the idol with surprise. That was news, Taehyung never imagined that Seokjin could hate his job, he always seemed so happy. But another thing was, it kinda hit home with Taehyung, he’s been having similar thoughts for the past months.“Yeah, I still enjoyed singing and all that but I just kinda realized that no matter how much success we achieve, no matter how much love we get from the fans, it’d never be enough,” the older continued: “Because it doesn’t matter how successful you are, how much money you make, how great your life is. When you can’t share it with the person you love, it means nothing. I came to the point in my life when what I had was not enough, when something was missing and I knew deep down what, or more like who it was.”“But weren’t you afraid? Risking your career for the sake of a relationship?” Taehyung asked the question that’s been bugging him a lot.“Of course I was afraid. So much shit could go wrong, we could’ve broken up and still work together, public could’ve found out about us and the whole group would go to hell. It was a really tough decision, especially because it was not only about the two of us but more people. But I realized that the longer I will go on like that, suppressing my feelings and sacrificing what I wanted for my career, I’d eventually start hating it and that was something I didn’t want. I love singing and I love being in BTS and it’d be horrible if one day I just wanted to leave all that behind,” Seokjin smiled at him a bit sadly.“I know that it’s scary, to give yourself to the one person, Tae,” Seokjin continued after a while, looking at the younger knowingly because he felt like he knew why he was asking those questions.“But once you do that, it actually sets you free,” the idol continued with a smile: “There is no better feeling than being with the person you love and share your happiness and your career with them. And I know that you are afraid that the relationship might hold you back but it is exactly the opposite. The relationship with the right person will help you and make you even happier.”Taehyung didn’t say anything, he was processing everything that Seokjin just told him, watching Jeongguk from afar. Jeongguk did make him happy and he did support him, the question was, wouldn’t he be disappointed if they finally got together? On the other hand, he was tired of disappointing Jeongguk all the time. The question of what to do once the event is over was still hanging above Taehyung’s head like a heavy cloud.“Are you nervous about tomorrow, hyung?” Taehyung broke the silence after a while, changing the topic. This whole weekend was about the wedding and here he was, thinking and talking about his own problems, it was selfish.“Not really, we are used to the attention so I am not worried that I’d stutter or something,” the older laughed.“You know what I mean, hyung. Are you nervous about getting married to Namjoon-hyung?” the actor looked at him searchingly.Seokjin’s eyes found Namjoon in the crowd and a small smile formed on his lips: “No, I’m not nervous, Tae, I am excited.”Taehyung was watching him in awe, wishing that he’d be this sure about his own feelings.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT
The day of the wedding was chaotic since the morning. Everyone was running around, making sure everything was in place and perfect. Even if it was a bit surprising – most people would expect that from Seokjin and Namjoon – the wedding wasn’t anything too fancy. The decorations were pretty simple, only the food and the drinks were going to be fancy.Even the dress code was a bit more free, guests didn’t have to wear any fancy dress or tuxedos which went perfectly with the atmosphere of the wedding anyway.Taehyung was getting dressed in his own hotel room. He’s been spending time in Jeongguk’s room this whole time but his clothes was still in his own and he figured that getting ready in his own room without any distractions was for the best.He was in a great mood as he took the shower and took his time with hair and make-up. He was really excited for Seokjin and Namjoon, he was still a bit envious but he was truly happy for them. They’ve been dating for years and they were perfect for each other.“You look gorgeous,” Jeongguk smiled when he opened the door after Taehyung knocked. The actor was wearing a black Gucci suit with a beautiful application on the back with a white shirt and black tie. His light brown hair was slightly parted and his eyes were piercing due to the make-up.“You look quite gorgeous yourself,” Taehyung giggled when the younger pulled him into a one sided hug. Jeongguk was wearing a royal blue suit with a white shirt, without a tie. His facial features looked even sharper than usually and his eyes more round. His dark brown hair was parted to the sides so his forehead was visible. Now, Taehyung loved all the versions of Jeongguk but when the forehead was added into the equation, Taehyung was a goner. He looked breathtaking.Everyone gathered in the garden on the chairs that were decorated with flowers and white ribbons. In the front, there was an artistic arc where the wedding registrar was standing.Namjoon came first to the altar and when Taehyung saw the way he was watching Seokjin coming to him, he almost cried already. He, Jimin and Jeongguk were sitting in the first row, right beside Namjoon’s parents and sister while Yoongi and Hoseok were standing with the couple since they were their best men.Seokjin was smiling widely the whole time while Namjoon was sporting his best whipped face, as the other members liked to call it and Taehyung was sniffing when they said their vows and exchanged wedding rings. Jeongguk took his hand and intertwined their fingers and Taehyung leaned closer to him. Jimin was quite emotional too so Taehyung took his hand and held it reassuringly.When the newlywed couple finally kissed, everyone started cheering and clapping, the members and Taehyung the loudest of all.The wedding reception was great, the food was delicious and everyone had a great time. Everyone was laughing when Namjoon dropped a spoon with the wedding cake and Seokjin shoved a piece of cake into his face with laughter.“They look so happy,” Taehyung murmured to Jeongguk when everyone was watching the couple slow dancing for the first time.“They do,” Jeongguk nodded, brought their linked hands to his mouth and kissed Taehyung’s knuckles: “I am too.”“Me too,” Taehyung bit his lip sheepishly, smiling at the younger.“Will you do me an honour?” Jeongguk stood up from the chair and offered hand to the actor. More couples joined Seokjin and Namjoon on the dance floor.“Gladly,” the older smiled and accepted Jeongguk’s hand, letting him lead him to the dance floor. They fell together easily, Taehyung’s hands automatically flying up behind Jeongguk’s neck while the idol’s arms circled his waist. They started moving to the slow melody. Taehyung noticed Seokjin smiling fondly at them couple of feet from them and he smiled back.They were slow dancing for god knows how long, looking at each other, having one of those silent conversations. Neither of them talked about what would happen after the wedding when they separate again but both of them felt like they had to talk about it. It just felt different than before, they couldn’t just say goodbye and wait to see each other in couple of months like they have done it in the past three years.“When are you finishing the movie?” Jeongguk was the one to speak up.“In about two months and then I have a month of promotions,” Taehyung replied. Jeongguk hummed. His eyes were flickering between Taehyung’s eyes and somewhere behind his back. The actor knew that he had a question and he knew what kind.“I got a job offer in London,” Taehyung said quietly. Jeongguk looked at him and his heart sunk a bit. London, Europe, well, that was very far away.“Oh, congrats, I guess?” the idol stuttered with the same hopeless expression in his eyes whenever Taehyung was talking about a new job.“I declined,” the actor added.“W-what?” Jeongguk gaped.“I had an interview with them over the phone a week ago, I told them I need some time to think. I called yesterday at night, telling them that I decline the offer,”“Why?” Jeongguk gulped with a weird feeling in a stomach.“I…I wanna go back to Korea, I think I am ready to go back,” Taehyung breathed out, looking the younger straight in the eyes. Jeongguk felt a huge stone falling off his shoulders, it was like he could breathe properly for the first time in years. He didn’t know what this meant for them but this was a huge thing.“What made you change your mind about working abroad?” the idol asked carefully.“More things, I guess,” the actor admitted: “The truth is that for the past six months, I really haven’t been happy. I still enjoy working on that movie, the people are amazing, the script is great and all that but…I don’t know what exactly changed. It’s like I am tired of running, I am tired of feeling lonely, being apart from my friends, family…from you.”Jeongguk was just staring at him, not really believing that they were talking about this. He’s imagined similar conversation for years, he was praying for it to come and it never did and it was now suddenly happening.“The truth is, that the highlights of my days for the past six months were the calls and texts with you,” Taehyung smiled at the other softly: “And these past couple of days…I decided to come here and decide once and for all, for both of us. Either we get together or we break up once and for all.”“What…what conclusion did you make?” Jeongguk asked carefully. He had a good feeling in his stomach, he could see it in Taehyung’s eyes but after years of hopeless longing, he couldn’t really believe that it’d really happen.“I’ve been happier these past days more than I’ve been in the past six months, hell the past three years. And the reason is you, Gukkie,” the actor looked at the other through the eyelashes with emotional eyes.“Tae,” the younger breathed out, feeling in daze.“I am tired of running, Gukkie. I wanna run one last time, I wanna run to Korea and to you,” Taehyung choked out, holding back tears: “I just can’t be happy without you.”“Fuck, Tae,” Jeongguk hugged him a bit tighter since they were still slow dancing this whole time. He buried his face in the crook of Taehyung’s neck, pressing his lips softly against the skin.“Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to hold back because of me,” Jeongguk looked at the other again.“After all these years you should know better than anyone that I wouldn’t subdue my career to anything. I want this, Gukkie, I am not doing this only for you, I am doing this for me. I am tired of running, I wanna be happy, really happy,” Taehyung reassured him with serious expression.“But…I am still in the group, I will be travelling and stuff and you will be sitting in Korea,” Jeongguk protested. He of course didn’t want to talk Taehyung out of this but he needed to know that the older understands fully the situation.“I wouldn’t be just sitting in Korea, I’d be working. It’s not like I don’t get job offers there. And when I don’t work, I could just join you and the boys on tour,”“Are we seriously doing this?”“I mean, if you want to. I didn’t even ask what you want,” Taehyung looked warily at the other: “I am babbling about what I want this whole time, being selfish yet again, without asking if you even want me.”“Tae, you have a shit memory,” Jeongguk shook his head with a hint of smile. The older looked confusedly at him.“I told you that I will be waiting for you no matter how long it takes. If you are ready to come back to me, I am here,” the idol added, biting his lip to prevent himself from grinning stupidly.“Jeon Jeongguk, I don’t deserve you,” Taehyung chuckled with a choked up voice. Taehyung couldn’t really believe his luck, Jeongguk never gave up on him, no matter how many times he fucked up, how many times he broke his heart, he was always there, waiting for him and loving him unconditionally. And he was surer than ever that he wanted this, he wanted Jeongguk.“Maybe not,” the younger smiled and brought up his hand to cup Taehyung’s jaw, caressing his cheek softly: “But you’re all I’ve ever wanted, angel.”“Fuck, Gukkie, I love you so much,” a sob ripped from Taehyung’s throat and he rested his forehead against Jeongguk’s, closing his eyes.“I love you too, Tae,” Jeongguk whispered, wiping Taehyung’s tears away: “So are we really doing this? Are you coming back?”“Yeah,” Taehyung pulled back little bit just to look into the other’s eyes: “I am coming back home.”They shared a dopey grin and Jeongguk just couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned in and captured Taehyung’s lips in a soft kiss. They’ve kissed hundred times over the past few days and thousand times over the years but it almost felt like they were really kissing for the first time.Both of them were overwhelmed after the confessions and decision they made but they didn’t leave. This was Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s day and they wanted to enjoy it with them and the others so they stayed.In the evening, things got wilder as everyone started drinking. Everyone was dancing or chatting, laughing loudly and Jeongguk and Taehyung never separated, not even for a minute. Taehyung was watching all the Bangtan members, as the seven of them were standing in the circle, chatting and joking about different stuff and he was honestly never happier. At that moment, he felt great, they were his family. And as he looked at Jeongguk’s profile, as the maknae was telling some joke, his eyes crinkling with laughter, Taehyung knew that he made the right decision. Maybe for the first time in his life.“You wanna continue in my room?” Jeongguk nuzzled his nose against Taehyung’s cheek. Everyone was already tipsy or drunk at this point, it was a bit after midnight. A lot of people already left and it was clear that the party won’t go for much longer. Seokjin and Namjoon disappeared a while ago.“Mm, you think someone will mind if we steal some champagne?” the actor wiggled his eyebrows mischievously.“This is exactly why I love you,” the idol grinned and snatched a bottle of champagne from the table. Taehyung took two glasses and they went up.They didn’t stay in the room, instead went to the balcony attached to it. There was a double chair so Jeongguk took a blanket from inside and soon they were sitting snuggled together. The older popped open the champagne and poured them both a drink.Jeongguk’s arm was wrapped around Taehyung’s shoulder while the older was snuggled against his side. They were just sipping on their drinks in comfortable silence, looking at the dark starry sky.There was no need to talk, at least not today. They’ve talked so much in the past years, sometimes they didn’t talk enough but today, the amount was just right. They talked about what they needed to talk and they were both happy with the outcome. Now the words were needless.After twenty minutes on the balcony, they slowly started kissing. It wasn’t rushed or passionate, it was relaxing and intimate. It felt like they had all time in the world. In the past three years, they were always trying to steal as much kisses and touches as possible because they knew they had only couple of days. And even if they were not going to get together immediately, since Taehyung had still three months of work ahead, there was no need to rush it.Eventually their kisses got needier, the desire to feel each other close eventually took over them so they put down the glasses and went back to the room.“You look so beautiful,” Jeongguk breathed out as they were rolling in the sheets naked. The moonlight was the only source of light in the room and Taehyung, who was currently lying under the idol, never looked more gorgeous in Jeongguk’s eyes.“Touch me, Gukkie,” Taehyung smiled with a hint of desperation in his eyes: “I need to feel you.”“You know I’d do whatever you ask, angel,” Jeongguk whispered and cupped Taehyung’s cheek.“Yeah, I do,” the actor smiled with emotional eyes. Jeongguk always gave him what he wanted and needed and now, for the first time in years, he was ready to give back without any doubt and fear.Jeongguk kissed and sucked bruises in every part of Taehyung’s skin he could reach, knowing that the actor loved being marked, especially when they were not going to see each other for a while.By the time the idol pulled out a bottle of lube from the nightstand, they were both worked up and sweaty, hunger consuming them like a fire.Jeongguk kissed the other slowly as he lied beside him and sneaked his coated fingers down to Taehyung’s thighs, spreading them open. Taehyung was panting with anticipation as Jeongguk’s hand was massaging insides of his thighs and he trembled when the wet fingers started rubbing his perineum.“Gukkie,” Taehyung moaned quietly when Jeongguk finally pushed one finger in with ease after the previous nights.“Tell me how you feel, angel,” Jeongguk asked with a kiss to the older’s temple as he was rubbing his walls slowly. Taehyung opened his mouth to answer at the same time Jeongguk pushed in the second finger and his jaw feel open.“Feels incredible, Gukkie, always so good,” Taehyung whimpered and bit his lip. His eyes were closed shut tightly at the feeling of being stretched open so perfectly. Jeongguk gave him another kiss to the temple and added third finger.“Please, Jeongguk, fuck, I-I need you, n-now!” the actor whined after couple of minutes. He already felt the familiar heat pooling in his stomach. Everything was so intense, every kiss, every touch, every emotion. He already knew that he will come untouched tonight, the pleasure was too good.Jeongguk pulled out the fingers and lubed up his length with the remaining lube. He moved to position himself between Taehyung’s legs but the older pushed against his chest and lied him down.“Wanna ride you, Gukkie, wanna make you feel good,” Taehyung looked at him with hooded eyes. The idol just nodded dumbly and lied back comfortably as Taehyung straddled his lap.Taehyung slowly sank down on Jeongguk, his mouth falling open at the intense feeling of being filled. Jeongguk grabbed his hips and rubbed soothing circles with his thumbs into the skin.“You always feel so good, baby,” Jeongguk breathed out: “Whenever you’re ready.”Taehyung smiled and bent down to connect their lips in a deep kiss. He sat back up and started rocking back and forth, supporting himself with one hand on Jeongguk’s stomach. He was looking down at his lover, holding the eye contact. It was slow and it was not enough but it was everything they both needed at the same time.After couple of minutes, Taehyung started slowly bouncing up and down, not really hard but he felt every drag of Jeongguk’s cock like this and it felt incredible.Jeongguk noticed that Taehyung was getting tired after a while so he sat up and pushed him back. Jeongguk was sitting on his heels while Taehyung was lying on the bed but his lower back was in the air in this position.Jeongguk started thrusting into him slowly and Taehyung gasped at the perfect angle because Jeongguk was hitting his prostate with each thrust like this. The idol’s hands were running up and down Taehyung’s torso and arms, leaving goose bumps everywhere he touched.“Fuck, Gukkie,” Taehyung moaned obscenely at the intense prostate massage he was receiving. Jeongguk was looking down at him with mixture of awe and lust.“Are you close, baby, does this feel good?” the younger asked with a raspy voice and sped up his movements little bit, going even deeper.“Yes, god, yes, so good, so close,” the actor keened at the new speed. Jeongguk snapped his hips even faster, fucking into him desperately, chasing both of their orgasms.“Go on, angel, come for me,” Jeongguk encouraged the other.“Kiss me,” Taehyung breathed out, looking needily at the younger. Jeongguk didn’t hesitate to comply. He put his arms on the bed next to Taehyung’s shoulders. The actor grabbed Jeongguk’s arms and pulled himself up little bit as Jeongguk bent down and they met in the middle in slightly sloppy kiss.Jeongguk kept his movements, thrusting into Taehyung as they were kissing messily, panting into each other’s mouth.“I’m coming, baby,” Jeongguk moaned against the other’s lips. Taehyung whimpered at the confession and the sensation. His whole body trembled, he let out a loud moan and came over their stomachs with shaking thighs. Jeongguk came inside him only couple of seconds later with a loud groan, connecting their lips again.The next day, when Taehyung put the things into his car and went over to the members to say his goodbyes to them and then hugged and kissed Jeongguk, there was no sadness and desperation in it, it was hopeful and peaceful. There was a promise between them, promise to see each other again and when they do, it will be for good. This was their last goodbye and neither of them felt sad.As Taehyung sat into the car and drove away, for the first time in years he didn’t feel like he left a piece of his heart with Jeongguk.For the first time in his life, he knew that once he comes back home, he will give his heart to someone willingly and without a fear. He will give his heart to Jeon Jeongguk, the man who’s owned it for years anyway.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
PRESENT – EPILOGUE
Three months couldn’t go slower. Taehyung was enjoying the filming and the promo season with his co-stars but as the time went by, he was more and more giddy. The date of his departure from LA was nearer by day. He and Jeongguk were often texting and calling so it was bearable but Taehyung just really wanted to be with him already. Now when he finally decided what he wanted, he wanted to be with the idol as soon as possible.He was slowly packing his stuff over the three months and whenever a new box full of stuff appeared in the hallway of his LA apartment, his heart was making happy jumps.He already rented an apartment in Seoul, Jimin was so nice that he went to see couple of suitable places in person since Taehyung couldn’t and together they found a perfect place. It was quite close to Bangtan dorms and the BigHit building which was ideal since Taehyung knew that he will be spending a lot of time with Jeongguk and the others anyway.He had most of his stuff shipped to the new apartment over the weeks so he didn’t have to bring much stuff when he finally arrives.Jeongguk really wanted to come greet him to the airport but they both knew that it’d be stupid and risky, not only because people’d recognize them but also because they wouldn’t be able to stay away from each other and they’d out themselves right at the beginning which was not something they wanted right now.So they decided that Jeongguk and the others will just wait for Taehyung at their dorm and he will arrive there.Taehyung has been thinking a lot if he made the right decision but unlike in the past, now he couldn’t find any doubts or negatives. He wanted this, he wanted to go home and he wanted to be with Jeongguk. They both deserved their happily ever after.He also already got a job is Seoul. It was some historical drama and he’d begin filming a month after he arrives which was ideal because he’d have enough time to spend with Jeongguk and also go to see his family in Daegu and catch up with old friends. Now he was realizing how stupid he was, he’s been always getting interesting job offers in Korea, yet he always jumped after something abroad. Now he knew that his career wasn’t ending just because he was moving back home and will be with Jeongguk.The day finally came and when he got off the plane, he took in a deep breath, sucking in the Korean air. All of his stuff was in his apartment so he was travelling only with a small bag, so he went directly to the Bangtan dorms. He took a cab and was watching the familiar streets from the window. It felt like he hasn’t been here for decades, yet it felt like he was here yesterday. It felt a bit weird but it felt like coming home.His heart started hammering in his chest when a familiar apartment complex appeared and soon, he was getting out of the cab and paid the driver. He went to the lobby and the girl behind reception desk let him inside, knowing about his arrival from the boys.The elevator ride was painfully slow but he finally reached the top. He’s been here so many times over the past years, the door at the end of the hallway was so familiar and the people sitting behind it even more.He knocked and soon the door opened. For a split second, he was disappointed that it wasn’t Jeongguk but he was happy either way and threw himself at Jimin, hugging him tightly.“Hello, I am home!” Taehyung exclaimed when he stepped inside. He saw the rest of the group sitting in the living room and Jeongguk jumped to his feet, looking at him like he was just a dream.“Hello, Home, I am Jeongguk!” the maknae grinned stupidly.“You’re so fucking lame,” Taehyung rolled his eyes with a huge smile on his face.“But you love it,” Jeongguk chuckled.“I do,” Taehyung nodded. He really did love it, he loved everything about Jeongguk.They were just looking at each other for couple more seconds, grinning like idiots and then they finally moved at the same time.Jeongguk wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s waist and lifted him so his feet were couple of inches above the floor. He spun him around and Taehyung wanted to protest that it was like from some lame romantic comedy but in reality, he loved every second of it.When Jeongguk lowered him back down, their lips met in a soft kiss. They were smiling into the kiss because the other five guys were cheering and clapping loudly behind their back but neither of them could care less.They separated after few seconds and hugged tightly.“I knew you’d come back to me,” Jeongguk mumbled against Taehyung’s neck and the actor knew that he was close to tears. He couldn’t blame him, he wasn’t any better.“You know I always come back to you,” Taehyung whispered and cupped Jeongguk’s cheek to kiss him again.*
1 year later
“I’ve been looking for weeks but there is nothing good in the area. I mean, I don’t need anything luxurious but if I am gonna live alone for two years, I want something decent,” Jeongguk groaned in frustration as he was stirring a sauce in the pan. He made himself at home in Taehyung’s kitchen in the year the actor lived there. The same couldn’t be said about Taehyung, he didn’t even know where half of the dishes were.BTS has decided to go on a hiatus. They’ve been working non-stop for a decade and they wanted to catch some breath and do their own thing. Most of them would be making music anyway and they’d still see each other but they decided to move out of the dorm for the period. They decided for two years of break which was a reasonable time. Now Jeongguk was still looking for the apartment and he couldn’t find anything, which sucked since he had to leave the dorm in less than two months.“You know,” Taehyung spoke up as he took a sip of the tea, sitting on the other side of kitchen counter, watching his boyfriend cook: “You wouldn’t have to look for anything if you moved in with me.”Jeongguk almost dropped the stirring spoon as he gasped: “What did you say?”“Move in with me, Gukkie,” the actor repeated with a smile.“Are you sure, Tae? I mean, it’s quite a big step, we’ve been together for only something over a year,” the younger eyed him.“First of all, you’ve been basically living here for months, you have so many things here already,” the older rolled his eyes: “And second, we haven’t been together for a year, we’ve been together for like eight years.”“I know but still,” Jeongguk shrugged: “Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to move in with you, baby, but we’ve had the on and off relationship for years and you wanna suddenly move in together?”“It’s not sudden, Gukkie,” Taehyung sighed: “I’ve been in Seoul for over a year and the things are great between us. I think we are ready to live together, I wanna have you here.”It was a bit scary for both of them. The past year has been amazing but they have been so used to being apart for so long that living together was kinda weird.“I am sure about this, Gukkie, so if you wanna move in, do it, don’t hold back because of me,” Taehyung gave the younger a reassuring smile.Jeongguk slowly came over to the actor who was sitting on a bar stool. Taehyung put down the mug with the tea and Jeongguk intertwined their fingers, standing between his legs. He brought up their linked hands and kissed Taehyung’s knuckles, making him blush. Then Jeongguk looked at him and spoke up quietly: “If that’s what you want, angel.”“Yeah, Gukkie, I want this. Please, move in with me,” the older nodded with a big smile on his lips.“It will be my pleasure,” Jeongguk grinned, wrapped his arms around the older and before Taehyung could process what was happening, Jeongguk lifted him and crashed their lips together. The actor made a surprised noise into the kiss but soon wrapped his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and kissed him eagerly back, giggling into the kiss.*
Another 1 year later
It’s been more than two years since Taehyung came back to Seoul and ten years since he and Jeongguk and the rest of BTS met for the first time on the cold October night in the TV studio.Taehyung just finished filming a movie and he was free for couple of weeks. BTS was still on hiatus, they still had a year ahead of them and Jeongguk was just working on solo stuff. After the break started, he took some time to just relax but after so many years of packed schedules and hard work, Jeongguk got bored soon. So he immersed himself in the writing and producing, preparing his solo mix tape.Jeongguk was his own boss now, more or less, and Taehyung was free from filming, so they decided to go on a vacation. They chose some small island in Polynesia so they would have as much privacy as possible. They still haven’t come out officially, but they’ve been seen together in public several times in the past two years so there were a lot of rumours surrounding them.Jeongguk has talked about it with BigHit and the group and he and Taehyung decided that they would come out sometime at the beginning of next year. Seokjin and Namjoon decided to do the same, they wanted to be free before the group gets back together and they’ve been together for so long and married for over two years, it was time to do it. Now was the best time for that, BTS were still on hiatus so the craziest wave would go by when they are not too busy and once the group comes back, the scandal would hopefully be already over and it won’t hurt the reputation of the group. All the members and BigHit were extremely supportive. Jeongguk and Taehyung were actually pretty excited. They knew there will be a lot of people sending them hate, it will be a big controversy, but they were tired of hiding, they wanted everyone to know.They rented a small bungalow on the island, with small private backyard with a pool where they could just relax and be together without any fear of being seen or bothered.They enjoyed the whole week, going to the beach whether it was for the swim or just a walk, chilling by the pool of their house or going around the island and hiking.It was honestly nice, especially because it was October so Seoul was getting cold already while here the weather was perfect and warm.The evening before leaving, they decided to just enjoy time in the bungalow. They sat out and grilled some meat, drinking wine and just chatting. It’s been more than two years since they finally got together for real but there has never been time when they wouldn’t know what to talk about or when they’d be bored. They’ve had couple of fights but nothing dramatic, it was usually over small stupid things, like what take-out they should order or what movie they should watch. They found themselves falling into the life together quite easily, despite of all those years being apart before.“It was so good,” Taehyung hummed when they settled on the lounge chair by the pool, snuggled together, with glasses of wine in their hands.“What was? The food or the vacation?” Jeongguk laughed quietly.“Well, I was talking about the food but the vacation was amazing as well. We live together and see each other every day but it was still nice to get out and be here, where no one was bothering us,” the actor smiled as he turned to look at the younger.“I enjoyed it too,” Jeongguk nodded in agreement and rubbed their noses together, making Taehyung giggle. It was so weird, yet so amazing, that Taehyung still felt those butterflies whenever they were like this. Actually, scratch that, he felt those butterflies whenever he just looked at Jeongguk. He’s known for years that the idol was the love of his life but these past two years only reassured him.“I’m gonna get us another bottle, mm?” Jeongguk mumbled and kissed Taehyung’s temple. Both of their glasses were empty and they had one more bottle in the fridge inside.“Sounds great,” the older nodded and felt suddenly a bit cold when Jeongguk got up and left to go inside. He came back only two minutes later with the new bottle, already opened, and he refilled the glasses with the golden liquid.Taehyung looked up questioningly at the younger when he didn’t immediately sit down back to him. Jeongguk looked a bit nervous which caught Taehyung’s attention. The idol reached inside the pocket of his shorts and took out a small box. Then he dropped down on his knee.Taehyung’s eyes widened and he sat up on the lounge chair, staring at the younger and he gasped when Jeongguk opened the box and revealed a beautiful white gold ring.“I know this might seem rushed since we are officially together for only two years,” Jeongguk started talking with slightly shaky voice: “But my heart has belonged to you for ten years now and I know that will never change. We went through so many ups and downs together and we hurt each other many times. We tried to stay away and move on so many times but we always ended up coming back to each other no matter what.”Taehyung was tearing up, rubbing his palms over his face as he was staring at Jeongguk and listened to his speech.“I don’t ever wanna let you go again, Tae, I always wanna be with you. We proved that we can deal with anything together so if there is someone I know I can spend the rest of my life with, it’s you. If it doesn’t work out with you, then I don’t know who else. I wanna grow old with you and make you officially mine. So I am gonna ask you, Kim Taehyung, will you marry me?” Jeongguk finished his speech and looked at the other with emotional eyes, slightly nervous.“Yes, Gukkie, yes, of course I will marry you!” Taehyung cried out without any hint of hesitation. He decided the second Jeongguk opened the box.Jeongguk stood back up and Taehyung jumped at his feet, hugging him tightly with a choked up laugh.“I love you so much, Gukkie, yes, fuck, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you,” Taehyung got out shakily as happy tears started slowly running down his cheeks. He grabbed Jeongguk’s cheeks gently, looked him in the eyes and connected their lips in a deep kiss.“Well, then you should let me put this on,” Jeongguk chuckled when they separated. Taehyung was still holding him tightly.“Oh, yeah, fuck,” the actor laughed and let go of the idol so he could slip the ring on his finger. They kissed again, lovingly.“You up for a make-out session by the pool?” Jeongguk wiggled his eyebrows mischievously, hinting at the first time they kissed nine years ago by the pool after the photoshoot when Jeongguk was celebrating his birthday. They were seventeen and eighteen back then, now they were twenty six and twenty seven and they’ve come a long way with a lot of bumps but here they were at last – together and freshly engaged.“You know I always am,” Taehyung giggled and they settled back down on the lounge chair, limbs tangled together, making out slowly as the stars and the moon were shining down on them just like those nine years ago. At that moment, both of them were really happy that they’ve never been able to let each other go.