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I woke up screaming his name again. My bed sheets soaked from cold sweat. Thenightmares just won’t stop. Always the same. We’re flying over enemy lines. We break tocover more ground.Stealth mode,or at least we thought. I will never forget my last orders.‘You flank left,I’ll take the right’. His last words “Roger that Falcon”. The next thing myeyes see is a fireball in the sky as Riley is taken out by an RPG. All I could do waswatch...Helpless...’RILEY!!!! NO!!!!’... It should have been me.The Doc prescribed some sort of antidepressant and sleeping pills to try and get mybody back on track.They just aren’t doing the trick. It’s just making things worse. *getsout of bed,heading to the bathroom.Opens the cabinet and pulls out the pill bottles* ‘I’mdone!’ *pours the pills into the toilet and flushes* I need to find another way. I’m Samfreakin Wilson. Bad ass Falcon. This is not honoring my friends memory. *runs the tapand splashes water on my face.* I get out of my soaked clothes and take a shower.After I dry off and change,I head out to the V.A. Hospital. My regular counselling session.I’m not telling her I dumped my meds. That won’t go well.“Welcome back Sam.How are you feeling today?” *she guides me to the couch as shesits in her chair across from me*‘Won’t lie Doc.Woke up in a cold sweat again. I close my eyes and there he is. The partywe went to the night before.Him smiling and having a good time.His girl on his arm. Thescene changes and we’re up in our EXO’s. He breaks left,I go right...Then…*sighscovering my eyes,the tears welling*’“Have you been taking your meds like we talked about?”I knew she would ask this. I take in a deep breath and work on hiding the truth as best Icould. ‘I have.They just don’t seem to be doing the trick’She gives me a look.The few moments of silence making me tense.Wondering if she seesthrough me.“Well,as I’ve said,it will take some time for your body to adjust.Continue them asprescribed. *she scribbles something down on her pad and looks up at me once more*“Now I see you’ve put in a request to retire. Have you given any thoughts to pursuingsomething else? Staying idle would not be a wise decision for a man in your situation”I tilt my head,a little curious on what she meant by a man in my situation,but quicklyrealized what she meant. ‘I was actually thinking of maybe helping my Brotherssomehow. Volunteer here at the hospital. I’ve had some great talks with some of themand felt useful.’She smiles at me and puts her pad down. She walks over and sits beside me.Her handrests on my shoulder in a supportive way. “Sam.I think you would be an excellentcandidate to act as a counsellor for patients with PTSD. We have a group that meets hereevery thursday. Would you like me to sign you up?”I look at her for a good two minutes.No words coming out of my mouth as I think if thiswas a good idea. I mean here I am,messed up myself. Would I be of any help? Then Rileyappears before me,a smile on his face and his cheesy thumbs up he would always give before we took off. For the first time in a month,a smile crosses my face. I look to her atthat moment. ‘Sign me up’....For you Riley. Love you man.