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The day Duck had gotten his Hogwarts letter had been the worst of his life.
Sure, the letter wasn’t the worst thing that
happened.
That dubious honor probably belonged to the part where he’d killed Danimal.
Well.
The teachers had been pretty united in insisting he hadn’t
killed
Danimal. It was an accident, nobody’s fault.
Nobody’s fault.
And anyway, he might still live. He’d never walk again if he made it but he might still-
The words faded to white noise in Duck’s ears. He saw the railing. He felt his hand come down on it, heard words he didn’t remember the shape of in his ears. His hand came down. The railing disappeared.
They fell.
Duck didn’t know if Danimal made it. Didn’t know because he’d run. He’d gotten home from school and stuffed a bunch of his things in a bag and jumped out the window- a tiny current of air catching him a few inches from the ground the way it always did, and he ran.
And like insult to injury, like he’d looked up into the sky and challenged it to make things worse, an owl flew into his face as he sat in to alley, perching on his knee, and dropped a letter in his lap.
Duck had always liked owls, and this one had only startled him a little bit, so he reached out and patted it, feeling just a little bit better when it rubbed it’s head against his hand.
He wasn’t terribly happy about the letter, and he left it behind in the alley.
The next time it had been two letters. Then three. Then five. Then ten. He’d gone into a stationary shop and words had formed on every single piece of paper in there, and they had all said
Dear Mr. Newton,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.
Yours sincerely,
Leo Tarkesian
Deputy Headmaster
And Duck should have taken that a bit more seriously, because on August 11th, Leo Tarkesian apparently got sick of sending letters and decided to show up himself.
Duck had been bouncing from alley to alley, between shelters and campsites and the occasional friend’s house- rarely, because Danimal hadn’t made it. He’d been careful, he’d hardly spent a whole day in one place since the railing dissolved and he’d fallen from the bridge.
Still, he’d run out of places to run that were still local, and so he’d snuck on a train and was curled against the window in the back when he saw the man get on.
Something pricked at the back of his neck, and he kept his eyes on the figure paying the driver. Which meant he didn’t miss the way the man had gestured loosely at the back of the train, where Duck was sitting, handing over two tickets.
As he turned, Duck tried to hide back under the seat again.
But there were heavy footsteps, and the man settled himself across the aisle from Duck. His face was warm and craggy, and he rubbed his beard a moment before he spoke.
“Have you been eating alright, Duck?”
“How do you know my name?” Duck’s stomach rumbled, and he winced. The man nodded as though that were enough answer, and reached into his bag, rooting around in it as he spoke.
“We make it a point to get the right ones. It helps sometimes. It’s the kids with parents who don’t know their names who really need Hogwarts.”
“I don’t need Hogwarts. My....” Duck chokes on the words a little bit. The man- Leo? Leo nods, once again as though he’s heard the rest of the sentence.
“They know, they don’t understand, but they’re trying to. They still won’t call you Duck. I know what that’s like.”
Leo finally found what he was looking for in his bag, pulling out a paper-wrapped sandwich and tossing it to Duck, who caught it more out of instinct than anything else.
“You do?”
Duck supposed he must have sounded a little doubtful, because Leo snorted.
“It’s tough, in the muggle world. It’s easier in ours. You find when the world’s a big place and there are all manner of things in it that people have an easier time wrapping their heads around the fact that some folks aren’t comfortable in their skin.”
“Our world? I’m-” Duck pulled the paper off and took a bite of the sandwich. He talked through a mouthful, because he couldn’t let Leo get another word in.
“I’m not like you.”
Leo raised an eyebrow, gave Duck another moment to chew.
“Tell me something, Duck. Why did you make the railing disappear?”
Duck froze, nearly choking, and Leo make half a gesture to help him before Duck waved him off, swallowing hard.
“I- I didn’t- didn’t do anything. People can’t...do that.”
Leo smiled.
“You’re really not a good liar.”
Duck huffed. He didn’t answer for a long while, but Leo just waited, and when he finished the sandwich Leo offered him a flask. He sighed.
“I had a bad dream.”
He took a long swig, realizing that it was water, and then realized how thirsty he was and downed the whole thing. Leo gave him a moment, waiting him out.
“...He was going to fall. He was going to trip and hit his head on the edge of the rail and I didn’t- I thought he was going to die. So he started moving toward the rail and I saw him start to fall and I just-”
His knuckles went white around the flask.
“It didn’t do any good.”
Duck looked over at Leo. Leo...looked perturbed, for the first time since he’d gotten on the train.
“Do you have dreams like that often?”
Duck nodded.
“Every couple months.”
Leo looked troubled, adjusting his tie as though by habit.
“That’s....unusual. Even in our circles. Duck, I don’t want to force you to come with me. But the authorities are going to come after you. And if you attend Hogwarts, I can help you transition. I can help you manage your dreams.”
Duck scowled.
“I’m not magic. I don’t want to be magic.”
Leo smiled.
“I’ll make you a deal. Come with me. You don’t have to do well at the school. You just need to stay in the dorms, and I’ll be able to help you transition.”
“Transition?”
Leo gestured to himself.
“I was born in a body I’m uncomfortable with. Magic helped.”
Duck tapped his fingers against the flask.
“And I don’t have to do magic?”
“No.”
“And I’ll have somewhere to live?”
Leo nodded.
Duck thought about it for a minute. He’d always been....different. His parents had tried to help him but they hadn’t understood that he was a
boy
, let alone that he could make the flowers bloom and the glass in store windows dissapear. His sister had been charmed, happy, and that had been enough.
Only....it wasn’t. Duck didn’t want to be the person in the mirror anymore. Duck wanted to be himself.
He nodded. Leo grinned.
“Well then. Welcome to a whole new world.” He offered a hand. Duck took it
He hoped he didn’t regret this.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Duck regretted this.
He’d made some judgement calls, as everyone else’s names got called. The Slytherins attracted the most attention, and it was the bad kind, so that was absolutely a no go. The Gryffindors absolutely lost their minds every time someone was called and all of these people were British- he got the impression that if it weren’t for Leo he would have been shipped back to the United States, father’s job here or not). Ravenclaw got little fanfare, but everyone at their table had a stack of books, and half of them had glasses, and anyway, blue wasn’t his color.
He’d made up his mind- It had to be hufflepuff. They were nice, and one of the kids he’d met on the train (Barclay. He didn’t have a surname) had been called for it already.
Unfortunately, the
sorting hat
didn’t seem to agree with him.
“
I am the voice of a thou-sand years of history, Duck Newton. I am the most powerful voice in this school. And you are a Gryffindor. A man chosen for greatness. Cease resisting your Destiny.”
“I’m really not. I’m just here to fail all my classes.”
“
You are a coward, but that does not change your fate, Duck. Newton.”
“I’m not
scared.
I’m just not interested.”
“
Well. That’s unfortunate.
”
“Thanks but-”
“For you. GRYFFINDOR!”
The red table burst into cheers, and Duck hated this experience a little bit more with every passing moment.
____
Leo found him at the top of the observation tower, many, many hours past curfew.
Duck had his sketchbook in his lap- it had been one of the purchases Leo had made for him at diagon alley. He hadn’t asked for anything- but he’d spent a few beats too long looking in the window at the sketchbook with the mottled brown paper cover, and when Leo had come out of the shop it was in his bag with the other purchases.
Duck didn’t know how to thank him, so he didn’t.
He was sitting on the edge of the tower, tracing the lines of the sky in graphite on the page, making sure every star was where it was supposed to be. It seemed to be the only thing he could count on- the fabrics here were wrong, the meals, the stone steps, the shifting staircases. Doors appeared where they hadn’t been before, people came out of fireplaces.
The sky was the same as always.
He didn’t react when Leo sat next to him, and for a moment, they both looked up at the stars together, the only sound the soft stir of Duck’s pencil on the page.
When Leo spoke, he was as soft as he could. He felt like Duck might startle, a creature pushed too far into a corner.
“Barclay was worrying about you.”
Duck snorted.
“Yeah? Hope it’s not spoiling his cozy dorm experience.”
He felt Leo’s disapproval, and he sighed.
“I didn’t...really mean that. Just kinda started so I leaned into it. Not working. I’m...happy for him. I really am.”
“I take it by how far up here you are that your dorm experience hasn’t exactly been cozy.”
“They mean well.” It was an automatic reaction- there was no inflection in Duck’s voice. “I just get a bit tired of the questions about my accent.”
Leo hummed.
“I get the same questions, still. I’ve been teaching here for years.”
Duck’s pencil stilled.
“How do you deal with it? Being treated like an outsider all the time.”
Leo got the feeling Duck was talking about more than just today. He sighed, looking up at the sky.
“Hogwarts is my home. It was a hard road getting here, but this is where I’m meant to be.”
“It isn’t where I’m meant to be.”
Duck sounded certain, and Leo believed him, even though he didn’t want to.
“Sometimes places in our lives are there as a transition. From one part of our life to the next. We’re not meant to stay, but it doesn’t make them any less important. I think being here will help, Duck. I know it’s not where you need to be, but I think it’s a first step to getting there.”
Duck nodded, and Leo smiled.
“So are you going to stay? Or are you going to keep waiting up here until you leave for the 3am train you bought tickets to when we were in diagon alley?”
Duck froze.
“I- uh- I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about, how would I uh- how would I buy tickets. I don’t have money! Or know where we, uh- are-”
“You’re a shit liar, Duck.”
Duck huffed, crossing his arms, and Leo grinned. Petulant kids were easier to deal with then people holding the weight of destiny on their shoulders, and right now, Duck was just another kid.
“...I don’t even know if I bought the right station.”
“You didn’t. That one’s.....a ways. I’d say how many miles, but i’ve kind of forgotten how to use them. Hope you’re good at the metric system.”
Duck sighed.
“I’m really not.”
“Well, that’s somewhere to start.”
Duck looked up at the sky, and back in his notebook. His single constant. He had one friend, one ally, and a notebook full of stars.
It would have to be enough.