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Castiel pauses outside Dean’s door, still questioning whether or not it was a good idea to be there. The choice is taken from him mid-decision with Dean opening it. He barely waits for him, stalking back further into the room. “Well?” he calls out, “You coming in?” He does, shutting the door behind him. Dean strips off his plaid button down, squeezing it into a ball before tossing it into a nearby pile. “What’s on your mind, sunshine?” Mirroring him, Castiel shucks his trench coat and suit jacket off in one motion, draping both across Dean’s desk chair. He motions for Dean to move closer, and he does. Leaning on his shoulders, Castiel shucks his boots off while Dean unbuttons his jeans. “I had just come from Jack’s room –“ “He’s doing good right?” Dean asked, letting his pants drop, “I wasn’t sure if today was helpful, but I think Donatello got through to him…“ His heart cracks a little, Dean’s searching grin taking a pickaxe to it. Instead of taking the bait, Castiel turned away and tugged at his tie. The silence overtook them, both preferring it as they undress. When Castiel folds his pants over the chair, he walks over to sit on the bed. Dean left for the bathroom, where he can see him brush his teeth. Castiel rolls his socks off before slipping underneath the covers. Dean joins him shortly after, peeling his own gray t-shirt off first. He lies next to Castiel, barely containing a nervous chuckle. “Y’wanna know something Cas?” “What?” “I think I’m getting better with the snake.” Castiel frowns, sitting up on his elbow. Dean’s eyes shimmer with excitability he very obviously wants to share in, especially with how his fingers ghost back and forth across his thigh. “Come again?” “Jack’s snake,” Dean continues, “I didn’t think I could be in the same room as it, y’know? But it’s starting to grow on me…” He hums, unable to respond once more. Castiel situates himself on his back, away from Dean’s stare. In their shared space, however, there’s no escape. “Hey,” Dean whispers, now trailing his hand across Castiel’s chest, “What’s the matter?” There’s no good way to start it. But Castiel chooses what he believes is the easiest. “You don’t have to worry about the snake anymore.” Dean frowns; tapping out a rhythm his heart tries to keep. “How come?” “Jack, he… decided it’d be happier elsewhere.” “Shit, he didn’t release it, like, into the wild did he?” Dean asked, “Because I was fine for keeping it in that glass box. If it slithers its way back in I –“ “That won’t happen,” Castiel says, “Dean, he… Jack killed it.” He hears Dean’s breath hitch, his hand lying still against his chest after hearing the news. Castiel dare not look at him, instead letting the news pour out of him. “I watched him turn the snake into ash and he sounded… proud, almost. As if he did it a service, putting it out of its misery.” “I don’t… I can’t…” Dean presses closer to him, ducking his head under Castiel’s chin. Even if he has no words to describe what he’s feeling, Castiel understands. He pulls Dean in tighter, arms wrapped firmly around his waist. “I told you Cas,” he finally says, “I have no clue how to handle this. You trusted me and I… I screwed up. I screwed him up.” “Dean, you did the best you could –“ “Yeah, I’m always doing that. Maybe my best is just shit.” “That’s not true,” Castiel tells him, rubbing at the small of his back in wide circles. He rests his cheek upon Dean’s crown, the tufts of hair tickling his skin. “An absence of a person’s soul is tricky for not only them but for the people who care about them. I didn’t expect you to have any answers, I needed you to be there for him.” Dean sighs, slipping his own hands out from between their chests to hold onto Castiel’s shoulders. With no further barriers, Dean’s full weight settles onto him. It warms him more than any blanket ever could. “When you asked me to watch out for him, it wasn’t the ‘no soul’ thing that scared me.” “…Then what was?” “I don’t… I don’t know how to be a dad,” Dean confesses, “I mean, I sort of do. But only with the surface level stuff like driving a car, fixing meals, or giving the sex talk. Feelings, emotions – the really personal crap – I can’t even begin to sort through that. Figured you and Sam were better for it…” He cranes his neck up, forcing Castiel to look at him. “You said he looks up to me but Jack shouldn’t. Clearly I have no idea what I’m doing, and because of that we have a dead snake.” Castiel mulls Dean’s words over, letting his body provide much needed consolation instead. His hands run up and down Dean’s back, and he tangles their legs together, brushing toes against the arch of Dean’s foot. His hunter doesn’t relax completely, but it’s a start. “You want to know what I thought, when you told me how you and Jack spent your time together?” “What?” “I thought it was perfect,” he says, “Your actions showed how much you care far better than any words could.” “Cas –“ “Let me finish darling,” he purrs, the pet name instantly hushing Dean. “You had your doubts, but that didn’t stop you. Instead of doing the bare minimum you engaged with Jack even if the subject matter frightened you and, when that wasn’t working, took him to see someone who understood what he was going through. To me, those are the actions of a father who cares. Who cares enough to go that extra mile if that’s what’s necessary.” Dean buries his head in Castiel’s chest again. It can’t disguise the wide grin that stretches itself across his face, nor the fiery red tint his ears take. Castiel leans down to kiss the back of his head, threading his fingers through his hair. “You’re a good dad and a good role model. Even if you don’t have any idea what you’re doing. None of us do, the only difference is you’re not letting it stop you.” He musters enough courage to look him in the eyes again. “Thanks Cas,” he says, “That makes me feel better about one thing… but it still doesn’t help with Jack.” Castiel sighs, agreeing. “It seems our worries were well founded.” “What should we do now?” “Again, from what I heard he believed what he was doing was for the snake’s best interest,” he says, “So I guess we… try harder. Lead through example.” “Fatherhood ain’t easy,” Dean chuckles, “But at least we’re in it together.” “That’s true…” A thought crosses Castiel’s path, and he huffs out a breathy laugh. Dean pouts at him. “What?” “It’s nothing…” “C’mon sunshine, tell me!” he whines, wiggling around on top. He tickles at Castiel’s ribs, a sensation that has no effect on his being. But the adorable sight before him nearly splits his face in half with how far his smile widens. Castiel grabs Dean’s wrists, rolling them over until Dean is pinned underneath. Then, he kisses him because he can. It’s slow, both taking their time and enjoying the feeling of lips pressed against lips. When Dean starts gasping, Castiel pulls back. Dean watches him hang overhead with spit shined lips and half-lidded eyes. “As much as I enjoy this,” he tells Castiel, “I still want to know what you were thinking.” Castiel rolls his eyes, but surrenders. Flipping onto his back, Castiel meets Dean’s curious gaze. “That I was lucky to have been on this hunt with Sam, and not you.” Dean quirks a brow at him, “Should I be jealous you’re thinking of Sam in our bed?” “No,” Castiel says, tapping at his wrist. Dean twists it, so the palm lies face up and he can slip his own hand over it, twining their fingers together. Castiel continues, stroking his thumb across Dean’s skin. “The hunt… if I weren’t an angel, I could have ended up like Sam.” “You mean a cardigan-wearing nerd with a wife?” “Yes.” “That would be unfortunate,” Dean grouses, “Like, what would she think if she found out how gay you were.” “And if you had gone on this hunt instead of me,” Castiel says, “Then both of you would be trapped in that cookie cutter nightmare.” Dean sighs. “Yeah – don’t get me wrong I love milkshakes as much as anyone can… but not enough to give up the Internet.” “What I’m trying to say is thank you for trusting me with your brother’s well being,” Castiel says, “I know how protective you are of Sam, and letting me go on the hunt with him, alone, was… nice.” He smiles. “Made me realize how little time me and Sam spend together. And when we did we were focused on other matters, namely you.” “Wow, really know how to make a guy feel special…” “Darling…” “I’m happy you two had a lot of fun,” Dean tells him, “Honest. You and Sam are so important to me – like it goes without saying –“ “Of course.” “That I want you two to get along. And I know I’m a pretty interesting guy…” Castiel doesn’t laugh with him, but Dean keeps going. “It’s great to know you have more in common than just me.” “I’m sure you knew that though already, didn’t you.” “Of course,” Dean winks, “I’m not only here to be eye candy.” “Yet you’re so good at it.” “Shove it.” “Not tonight, I’m too tired.” “Asshole,” Dean shoves Castiel’s shoulder, only for it to be trapped in Castiel’s other hand. He brings it up to his lips and kisses it, preening under the warmth of Dean’s blush. He mumbles something under breath that even with his powers Castiel couldn’t hear. “What did you say?” “I’m… glad you were immune to the prick’s psychic powers, too,” Dean mutters, focused too intently on Castiel’s ear. “Hearing Sam have a wife I can deal with, but if I knew it was you playing house I…” Castiel glows. He kisses Dean soundly, resting their foreheads together when finished. “You have nothing to worry about. You know as well as I do that I am not looking for a wife.” “Yeah…” Dean leans in, to steal one final embrace. However Castiel turns away at the last moment, forcing it to land on his cheek. “What the –“ “Since I already have one across the globe,” Castiel says, smirking, “It was a truly wonderful ceremony, I wish you could have attended. Royalty has its perks.” “I don’t know why I put up with you,” Dean says, squeezing his hands tight enough to break. “Seriously, you don’t even sleep. Why are you even in my bed?” “Because you’re a creature of habit and comfort, darling,” Castiel laughs, “I provide the comfort, and we’ve done this enough times that you can’t fall asleep without me by your side.” “I hate that you’re right,” Dean sighs, “Do you know how hard it’s been, going on back to back hunts? If Sam wasn’t keeping me up with his annoying keyboard smashing then it was his snoring – it was awful without my sunshine.” “But now we’re together and you can… what was it? Sleep until the cows come home?” “You got it.” He yawns, tugging himself free from Castiel’s loose hold to throw an arm across his chest. His eyelids droop shut, concealing his verdant soul from him. “Do you mind staying with me the whole night?” he asks, “I caught up on your chores so you didn’t have to.” “I might as well, since you went to all that trouble.” “Night Cas.” “Goodnight, Dean.”
