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Fuck. Fuckedy fuck fuck.Was all Roxy could think.Fuck Fuck! What kind dumb of fucking time shenanigans in this game brought Jane here?! Roxy looked back down to her laptop read the colourful words again and again, trying to figure out if it was real.
GG: Oh my God Roxy you were right!
TG: Haha wut?
GG: I'm so fucking sorry for not believing you!
TG: Janey?
TG: Jane
TG: Jane holy fuck are you ok?
GG: Roxy I-
GG: You were right about everything!
GG: About CrockerCorp, about the Batterwitch
GG: EVERYTHING
TG: Jane where are you?
TG: Are you hurt
GG: Not hurt
GG: Just confused and
GG: And panicky
GG: I don't know where my dad is and I can't fight anymore in this cell
TG: Jane I need you to calm down for a sec
GG: Easy for you to say!
TG: Sorry I just-
TG: Tell me where you are so I can bust you out
GG: I'm in a ship or submarine of some sort
GG: There's water everywhere and I can see sunken ships and buildings around me
TG: Ok shit, that's literally most of the world
GG: Oh god
TG: Good thing I can track your username ;P
GG: Oh god! No no no! Not again!
GG: AH! AHAA-
PESTERCHUM VOICE ERROR 413: UNABLE TO REGISTER AUDIO
TG: Jane?
TG: Jane
GG:
SUBMIT
TG: Fuck!
GG: No! Stop-
PESTERCHUM VOICE ERROR 413: UNABLE TO REGISTER AUDIO
GG:
SUBMIT
GG:
OBEY
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]So it was true. It wasn't some kind of sick misconception. Jane was really here, in the future. Alrighty then Roxy said, cracking her knuckles Supreme awesome haxxer skills: activate!Roxy immediately began to furiously type, overriding the complex servers of both Pesterchum and eventually CrockerCorp, bypassing security systems as well as constant advertisements and subliminal messages. Looks like CrockerCorp even wants supreme haxxer girlz to buy their Extra Moist Red Velvet Cake ^TM^.Out of spite Roxy replaces their ads with pictures of pumpkins.
Go figure they don't have a 'Disable ad' button or whatever
A couple minutes of pressing enter and frothing at the mouth when more advertisements pop up and kick her out just as she is about find out Jane's coordinates later, Roxy had finally retrieved the exact coordinates of Jane's whereabouts.FuuuuuckHow the hell was she meant to get to the bottom of the ocean?!Her thoughts were broken by humming and screaming coming from outside.FUUUUUCK!!Great! And now the drones were here!Roxy began wracking her brain for ideas. Jake? No... Dirk??? Fuck no....Meenah? She suddenly remembered the fishy heiress she had encountered on her fuck up of a planet. Meenah...yeah...this could fucking work! tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering coastlyCountess [CC]CC: The fuck do you want, Roxy?
TG: Wow
TG: Who the fuck crapped in your cornflakes?
CC: I'm not eelin up to your ship today
TG: What happened?
CC: MINNOWN-E OF YOUR FUCKIN BUSIN-ESS, B-EAC)(!
CC: Ugh just clam it and shell me what you want.
TG: I need your help
CC: If you ask me to kelp you out with gettin food for your crab-apace fronds I'm gonna krill you
TG: Well the drones are kinda burning the place again so...
CC: 38:0
TG: I think they're looking for me???
CC: Rox, I'm sorry but I can't glubbin krill an army of drones
TG: PSHHHHH
TG: I'm not worried about that!
TG: I need help with something else
CC: Pike?????
TG: Like helping me save Janey from one of the Batterwitches submarines????????
CC: You betta be fuckin kiddin me
TG: What?
TG: I'm sure you two will get along fiiine!
CC: No fucking wayve
TG: Why?
CC: The beach fuckin stabs me sand takes my plaice on the throne and and you want to K-ELP )(-ER?!
TG: Haha wut?
TG: Janey has a temper but I don't think she'd ever hurt you without a good reason
TG: And another thing:
TG: She's from the goddamn past
TG: Wait, is this what you're mad about?
CC: S)(-ELL FUCKIN Y-EA)( T)(AT'S W)(AT I'M MAD ABOAT!!
CC: T)(AT'S MY FUCKIN T)(RON-E SAND S)(-E'S FUCKIN R-EPLAIC-ED M-E!
TG: So does that mean you'll help me get Jane?
CC: I whale rip her throat out for you 3>8)
TG: NO KILLING HER!
CC: Water-ever 38)
TG: I'm serious Meens!
CC: Haha 'Meens'
TG: Meet'cha at my place Meens!
TG: No killing Jane!
TG: Sent file: Janey's coordinatestipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering coastlyCountess [CC]Roxy gagged on a sigh of relief, a loud crash outside startling her. Peeking out the window she could see the surrounding houses once more being attacked by drones, carapacians running and scattering like mice. She knew that she'd be safe, they hadn't found her so far so they'd probably wouldn't find her for a while, and most of the damage to her house would be fixed by the kindhearted carapaces anyway.Poor little guys.She slid away from her windowsill and marched out her room, quickly descending the stairs and opening the door closest to the street. There was a carapace not to far from that door, bleeding from his leg and looking for somewhere to hide.PSSST! Over here!The frightened carapace looked over to her, looking at the sky while running towards the door, Roxy shutting the door after ushering the carapace in. There was a sudden crash as the ground beneath her and carapace shook, a crumbling sound posing as a warning before another crash.Ugh, the observatory agaaain?! It's like they don't want me to feed you guys! The frightened carapace blinked, looking around at Roxy's home. Can you hold down the fort while I'm gone? Roxy asked, the carapace nodding and sitting down on the nearest piece of furniture and looking around, the furniture happening to be a small table. There was a loud whooshing noise coming from outside before a crash.
)(-EY ROXY! AR-E WE DOIN T)(IS OR W)(AT?!
Roxy ran out the front door to see Meenah on top of the remains of a crashed drone, proudly resting her trident behind her neck and along her shoulders.
You got here quick.
I was in the area s-OUGH!
Meenah was suddenly struck by a drone that flew into her, plummeting her into one of the carapaces buildings and causing cracks where she had been thrown. Roxy took her rifle from her specibus but then lowered it, realising that she couldn't hit the drone without hitting Meenah, and instead rushed over and began pulling on it, slipping her fingers into the seams of the hard shell of the imperial drone and yanking at it. She looked to Meenah and saw that she looked slightly dazed, though her bloodied mouth was twisted into a snarl.Roxy was almost crushed by the malfunctioning drone as with a crack Meenah kicked it away, the drone whizzing down the narrow streets into yet another house. She turned to see Meenah propped up against the white wall, sitting in a small pool of fuchsia that was forming around her.Uhh fuuuck. It takes more than that to fuckin krill me, beach! Meenah yelled, glaring daggers at the wreckage of the drone.How are you still alive?!?! Roxy extended her hand to Meenah, the troll pulling herself up and stumbling to her feet.I'm a fish-chia, I've had worse. Meenah rested her hand on her hips and leaned back, sighing in relief as something in her spine popped before picking up her trident and strolling off, leaving a small trail of pink behind her that thinned and died down the further away she got from Roxy, the human girl staring in bewilderment before catching up with Meenah. The two walked together side by side through the narrow streets, ducking for cover by a wall to avoid being spotted by the drones.
So do ya know what happened to Jane? Like, she's not even meant to be in our present because her present like a thousand years away in the past.
Condy needs her I guess? She went back into the mast and grubnapped her, and now is usin her as a puppet ruler while seas off tryin to bring back none fish-chia trolls and conquer otter planets.
So what are you gonna be doing if Janey's being a queen or whatever?
I don't min-know and I don't reely care all that much, but if she thinks that she can re-plaice me with some random human then I'm not goin to make it easy for her!
Just don't kill Jane
W)(AT? You gotta be jokin? It's gonna be hard enough to krill her but to keep her alive?!
I'm not letting you kill Jane
What makes you sink that seal stop after grubnapping her once? Whale sand her back to the mast and seal just take her again!
Maybe I'll just keep her here for a while at my place? Not forever but long enough that the Batterwitch will just give up on her.
Meenah shook her head, almost whipping Roxy with her braided hair.
Water-ever your plan is it betta work. I'm not doin this for you again.
We wont need to because were gonna swoop in and rescue the kidnapped princess and the batterwitch is gonna be like: 'Oh shit! I'm not going to do that again! Time to put Meenah back in charge while I destroy another planet or whatever!'
Pfff! You're such a cod-damn doofish!
Meenah suddenly stopped and put her arm out, stopping Roxy from falling down a watery drop.
So what should I do now? Ride your back all Aquaman style?
Nah, I got you a shell-met so you just need to hold on to me. Meenah took a large dome out of a capchacard and handed it to Roxy, who jerked in surprise as she put it on when she felt a suction around her neck where the silicone created an air tight seal.OH SHIT! THIS IS FUCKING COOL! Roxy yelled, her voice muffled by the air tight dome.Ok good. Minnow water-ever you do: Don't let go. Meenah instructed, firmly taking Roxy's hand and looking her in her bright pink eyes before looking back at the water.
OK MEENS! READY WHEN YOU ARE!
Roxy reflexively shut her eyes as Meenah plunged both of them into the frigid depths, squeezing the fishy heiress' hand tight as her legs were clamped together and her other arm was pressed against her side. It took a few seconds for Roxy to compose herself as the water rushed past her as if she was a missile, Meenah dragging her along at about that speed.When she first opened her eyes Roxy could only see the pale bubbles that Meenah kicked behind her, and feel them softly burst against her skin, but when her sparkling pink eyes were opened, they were wide with delight and wonder. Through the murky blue, she could see hulking black shapes that Roxy never thought she could ever witness. The way they elegantly moved through the water with gargantuan tendrils or mountainous fins, the grace in motions they took being otherworldly-almost godlike. It all made Roxy feel small and clumsy, ugly and insignificant, even at that distance.
Hot damn...
She looked back to Meenah, someone she could focus on without her head spinning, apart from when she looked at her kicking legs. How'd she even manage to move that quick? Meenah was strong, and a troll, which meant her general biology was fucked and unbelievably complicated, but Roxy had never really seen how strong she actually was. Geez, imagine how strong the Batterwitch is...Meenah would never grow up into the Batterwitch, Roxy hoped.-EY ROXY, CAN YOU PI-ER M-E Roxy's attention was suddenly dragged back to Meenah's actions.
YEAH! WHAT'S UP?!
I CAN S-EA T)(-E S)(IP, SO G-ET R-EADY!
Roxy squinted and could see another hulking shape slowly emerge from the brine. It was different from the other nautical giants that roamed the darkest parts of the ocean, where there were meant to be curvaceous and organic shapes, jagged and spiny silhouettes covered the terrain of the submarine. As the pair drew closer, Roxy could see that the ship was bright red, with the signature white fork on the side, as well as a dark glass segment on the front and several on the sides in varying heights.Meenah whipped around to the back of the ship, Roxy lurching behind her and almost feeling her arm pop out of its socket as Meenah put her hand to a black scanner. Already feeling slightly queazy, Roxy was moved around in the cold water once more, this time Meenah pulling her out of the way of the entrance to the submarines opening maw, a metallic scream ringing out through the water. Meenah jetted through the water a final time, this time landing her and Roxy on the closing entrance.The airlock was dark and industrial, with looping wires and glowing buttons on the walls and ceiling, one of the few lights in the room being a small red lamp that shrouded it in a sinister glow.Roxy instinctively let go of Meenah's hand and immediately shot up to the ceiling with a clang, a stream of bubbles following behind and bursting in her blank face.)(A )(A! Fuck, Roxy! What'd I say aboat lettin go of my hand?! Dum-bass Meenah swam up and grabbed Roxy's hand, quickly dragging her to the metal floor as the water drained.I didn't know THAT would happen! I thought I'd just drift away or something?! Roxy took off her helmet and ran her hands through her hair.
Duh! Yeah that tuna! Did you forget that air floats?
How do you not float then? She put the helmet on what looked like a table, but covered in buttons and labels in a language she couldn't read.
Seadwellers can control their buoyancy
The pair walked out of the airlock down into a red corridor, being met with the smell of machine oil, fish and cake, as well as a surprising lack of guards.
Woah...looks like the Batterwitch REALLY doesn't care about what happens to Jane. Like, basically anyone with the right gear can get in!
Oar she knows how strong sea is... Meenah said grimly.It only took a few minutes to get to the throne room. It was probably the biggest room in the entire ship, with no floors cutting off the top or the bottom and a wide area that looked as if it should have been filled with guard drones and trolls, but was completely empty with just a lone, spiked throne that sat in front of the glass dome a girl laying across it.JANEY! The rogue cried, looking at her friend.Her skin was covered in mechanical and wire-like red lines, and her eyes would look almost hollow in its darkness without the indicator of an eye being the red iris. In Jane's hand was a red trident with a strange glass orb at the end, blue with white clouds moving around as if it was alive.
JANE! What happened to you?! Are you ok?!
Roxy had to stop herself from running to Jane, as did Meenah, who put a firm hand on her shoulder when they entered.Oh. Hello Roxy.Her voice was cold and robotic, with an echoing mechanical resonance behind it that put Roxy on edge.
...and Meenah. You would think that after being stabbed the first time you wouldn't come back.
-EY FUCK YOU TUNA, YABBY B-EACH! Instantly Jane slid off of the throne, dashing towards Meenah, Roxy only able to stop her friend by jumping in front of Meenah.
Ok both of you chill right now! Or I'll stab BOTH of you!
Mhmm
fucking conchs...
This time I'm not going to hold back my temper, fish.
Just as one of Meenah's eyes twitched, and she was about retort, Roxy clamped her hand down hard onto her mouth, trying to shut her up so she could speak.
Janey wha-I need you to get out of here with me! This isn't you!
This is me! But better. I feel so much better now. I have power, and I can get angry at people because now I can just stab them, like I did Meenah!
No NO! The real Jane wouldn't say this! The real Jane wouldn't STAB MEENAH! Even if she probably deserved it!
Jane suddenly pushed Roxy to the floor, her trident pinning her soggy clothes so she couldn't move. WHAT WOULD THE REAL JANE FUCKING DO THEN?! HUH?!Roxy looked up at her with tearful and wide eyes.
Get the fuck off of her!
In a languid and sickening motion, Jane turned to look at Meenah with cold eyes.What are you going to do? Stab me?! The disarming words oozed off of her tongue like molasses, thick and dark.T)(-E ONLY R-EASON I )(AV-EN'T FUCKIN' KRILL-ED YOU Y-ET IS B-ECAUS-E ROXS-EA WANTS YOU ALIV-E Meenah lied.
Yeah-ha! RIGHT!
Roxy suddenly smiled and slid away from the trident, pulling her damp shirt off and slipping between Jane's legs and kicking the girl forwards. Before Meenah could react, Jane dragged her down with her, her head and horns smacking against the floor again and again as Jane bombarded her with her fist, pressing her neck against the floor with her trident.The blonde looked around desperately before closing her eyes and punching Jane off of Meenah, the troll quickly rising to her feet at Jane did.
DON'T MAKE ME LOSE MY TEMPER, ROXY! I WILL HURT YOU!
Y-EA)(?! T)(AT B-ETTA B-E A FUCKIN PROMIS-E!
Jane I REALLY don't wanna hurt you right now! Roxy pleaded Just snap OUT OF IT!
Roxy: you can leave now and I won't hurt you, your choice. MEENAH:
Jane swung her trident around and bashed the trolls chin with the orb on the end of it, her head bouncing backwards and hitting a nearby wall and once more she left a small pink splatter as she fell to the floor.I'm going to enjoy frying you up for dinner... Jane said with a smirk, approaching Meenah and towering over her, the troll brandishing her own trident and snarling.Jane grabbed Meenah by her two pigtails and flung her against the other wall with inhuman strength. This time Meenah was better prepared and fell to her feet, lunging at Jane with her sharp, golden trident.Roxy sprung into action and kicked the trolls trident away from her friend, Meenah staring at her both surprised and angry before swinging her leg around and kicking Jane in the forehead, red zaps and electric shocks going unnoticed by Roxy and Meenah.
W)(AT IN T)(-E -EV-ER GLUBBIN FUCK A-RE YOU DOIN?! DO YOU WANT H-ER TUNA KRILL M-E?!
No, I don't want you to kill HER
Ugh...what? Roxy...Roxy!
Jane's voice lost the mechanical resonance and sounded scared instead of emotionless.
Jane? Is that you? What's happening to you? How do I stop it!?
I don't...I don't know! I was just messaging you and then the headache got worse and then I keep blacking out and- Her voice cut out into something that sounded like screeching machinery and a hysterical wail, Jane putting her hands on her spasming head as echoes of the cry bombarded the room.I told you NOT to interfere, Roxy. She held no anger nor resentment in her voice, or any emotion at all, only the sound of cold machinery contrasted with a faintness of Jane's hoarse voice.
Tiara
TIARA
Meenah swung the side of her trident at Jane, the girl using her own to block it and push Meenah back before whacking the other end in Roxy's face, flinging her back. Jane looked to her friend and looked to Meenah, advancing on the troll and clashing tridents once more, this time Meenah lost her balance and flipped herself backwards, once more kicking Jane in the face.As the heiress stumbled back, Roxy ran at her and wrapped her arms under Jane's shoulders, restraining her for Meenah.
Sorry about this Jane...
She kneed her back, which only did so little as to release a grunt from the girl until she found herself pushed forwards onto the floor, held against it by Roxy's weight. Jane twisted her wrist in an inhuman way and stabbed her trident into Roxy's arm, her forced strength at that angle only enough to lodge it in. With Roxy distracted by the pain she turned herself around and kicked her off into a wall, Roxy crying out in pain as she felt her body plunge into the carapace-like red wall.Mennah lunged into Jane, their tridents clacking once more as they both swung and blocked each others blows, as if in sync the metal bounced off the organised attacks, Meenah moving organically and with fury, and Jane moving with calculated precision and force. Meenah began to throw wrenches in the work, adding kicks and punches and almost throwing off Janes patterns with every blow to her body, a kick to the knee almost causing her to stumble backwards. She took the opening and punched Jane in the jaw, throwing her back and sending more red zaps, this time Meenah flinching back as she felt it spark through her fist.
...what?
Roxy saw Jane and rushed over to her as fast as her aching body could carry her and wrapped her arms around her neck, wincing as she felt the remnants of the red electricity course through her. Meenah stepped over and began to reach for the tiara, slowly watching Jane's enraged face turn smug. Before she could react Jane fiercely grabbed Meenah's wrist and flipped both the troll and herself over Roxy, flinging them both over her head and slamming Meenah against the wall once more, Jane shoving herself against her before they both plunged into the floor, Jane punching her again and again. Roxy picked herself up and once more punched Jane in the face, this time more and more crackles and electricity fizzing in the air.With a final smack, the tiara flung off Jane's head, the red lines on her pale body receding as Jane screamed, the wires pulling from under her skin and tendons, unravelling from her brain. Jane fell limp on top of the troll, Meenah awkwardly wiping the blood from her nose with a grotesquely floppy wrist.
Uuuh...you o-crayfish?
Roxy gently grabbed Jane and helped her up, squeezing her eyes shut in pain as she supported her weight, Jane groaning as her shaking body rose to her feet.
It's k Janey, I got'cha
Roxy...ugh...I'm so sorry...
It's cool Jane, you got all mind controlled and stuff!
Yeah, mind controlled and fuckin )(OMOCIDAL! Meenah groaned, parts of her body cracking and popping as she got to her feet. Jane seemed to flinch when she looked at Meenah, eyes darting from the horns, to her grey skin, to the sharp teeth in her jaw, to the fuchsia blood that dripped down and soaked into her clothes.Well...! Jane burst awkwardly Aren't you a strange one. What...are you?
I could say the same, human.
Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you! It's just, I've never seen anyone like you before!
Jane, you better not be leaving me for the fishy floozy!
The fuck you callin a fishy floozy? You betta take a hook at yourshellf beshore you talk aboat me!
...are those...fish puns?
Yeah, water of it?
You'll get used to them.
I shore as shell hope so!!!!!!! Jane said with a goofy grin.
-EEEEEEYYYYYYYY
I hate to break up the puns but like...how do we get this shit to shore?
No sweat Roxy. AY-E YO, S)(IP: Meenah yelled, the ship humming in response. GO TO S)(OR-E 612There was suddenly a loud croon from the ship, the floor and ceiling quaking before the two humans stumbled, the troll bracing herself as the vessel whizzed through the ocean.
Now we just gotta get you otter this ship-show
The rumbling ship cut through the brine of the ocean, the trio watching the sea and all its creatures whizz past through the giant bubble, the infinite abyss illuminated.