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Louis-Charles reached out and lifted the rose gently to admire its pale petals. The aroma of the flowers around him made him smile. Benoit often told him he cared more for the plants in his private garden than the rest of the estate. He sometimes wondered if he did. He maintained the estate, he could afford to keep it running comfortably, but there was no other place in the estate that gave him more pleasure than the moments he could get away from everyone and just tend to his roses. Benoit knew not to bother him when he had slipped into the small walled garden. The gardeners rarely entered unless directed to by their master and then it was only to deal with large pieces of work and they would always be helped by Louis-Charles himself.The summer had provided the right amount of sun and rain for the roses to all look stunning. Louis-Charles wandered to the bench and sat down, pulling off his gloves as he did so. The gloves had done little to protect his arms from the thorns on the bushes he had been pruning. But the scratches were worth it to keep his plants healthy.He leaned back and tilted his head towards the sun which was high in the sky. He knew his cook would be wanting to serve a meal soon, he knew he should get himself cleaned up, he knew he should do a lot of things...but at that moment sitting in the sunshine enjoying his roses was all he wanted to do.There was the issue of finding a new stable boy to deal with. The last boy had left. He was no longer a boy, he had grown into a fine young man and had gone back to his father’s farm to start work and begin the process of taking the reins from his parents. The groom could not manage the stables alone, they needed to get another youngster in. But the estate was not local to any villages, it would be difficult to find another boy that could be spared from any families close by, all the hands would be needed to work the land.Louis-Charles sighed, sometimes being the owner of an estate was hard work. He had not been brought up to own property and land. It had been left to him in a will. It had been a difficult decision to sell the house in Paris but he did not need two properties and he could be himself in the seclusion of the estate and Benoit seemed to thrive there. It had been a difficult decision but the right decision. ‘Can I help you, Messieurs?’The voice of his groom sailed over the wall of the garden. Louis-Charles had heard horses approaching but thought it was either his groom exercising their horses or a delivery from the closest farm.‘I’m looking for your master, Monsieur Dubois.’ The man that replied sounded a little unsure of himself, he spoke slightly hesitantly. ‘The master is indisposed at the moment,’ replied the groom.‘How long will he be busy for? We can wait.’Louis-Charles rose from the bench and walked towards the arched gateway, he stepped out of the rose garden and looked towards the visitors. His curiosity was piqued. The stranger’s voice somehow seemed familiar.The groom was standing a few feet from three men who were mounted on two horses. Two of the men were wearing soldiers uniforms, Louis-Charles was not sure which regiment they were from. The young man sat behind the older of the two soldiers looked to be quite apprehensive.The younger soldier was watching the other man, he also seemed a little concerned.The older man, the man Louis-Charles thought he recognised, glanced towards him. He smiled, the smile lighting up his face, the recognition instant in his eyes. The smile was nervous, but it was genuine.Louis-Charles was lost for words, he recognised the man. He had not seen him in many years, not since he moved from Paris. The man, Aramis, had been his lover for a few months. Louis-Charles had saved Aramis when he was not much more than a boy from getting attacked by a sordid unscrupulous Parisian. Aramis had allowed Louis-Charles to teach him all that he knew about how to love and be loved. Louis-Charles liked to think he had shaped the young man into what he hoped was the well-rounded man who had appeared on his estate. Aramis dismounted and walked up to him slowly, the smile never leaving his face. Louis-Charles could not help throwing his arms around the younger man. Aramis did not resist the embrace. As they pushed apart Louis-Charles took a moment to look at his former lover again. Aramis had grown into a handsome man. He had been attractive as a seventeen-year-old, but now he would be in his thirties and must have turned heads as he moved through the city either on foot or horseback. A faint scar on his forehead added a subtle ruggedness to his features that did not detract from them in the slightest.‘How many times have I invited you here?’ asked Louis-Charles. ‘You cannot tell me that you are always at war?’Aramis looked down for a few seconds, a guilty look on his face.‘I just never got around to it,’ he said quietly, ‘I’m sorry. I should have warned you we were coming.’Louis-Charles thought he saw something in Aramis’ eyes. Something that hinted at the real reason he was there. But Louis-Charles was too caught up in the moment to think it through fully. There would be time, he decided, he would make time. He looked at the other soldier and the younger man. Aramis turned to them and nodded. They both dismounted. The soldier walked forward with the young man a step behind.‘This is d’Artagnan and Luc,’ said Aramis pointing at the two men. D’Artagnan shook Louis-Charles hand, a warm smile on his face, although his smile did not quite reach his eyes. The man did not seem completely at ease. Luc took a shy step forward and shook hands but did not make eye contact or smile.‘Simon,’ Louis-Charles said, turning to the groom, ‘can you see to the horses? These three are staying for lunch.’Louis-Charles glanced at Aramis who nodded his ascent to the unsolicited invite. Simon stepped towards the two horses.‘I’ll see they’re properly looked after messieurs. Musketeer horses are some of the best.’Louis-Charles looked at the uniforms of the soldiers again and realised his groom was correct. Aramis and d’Artagnan were members of the King’s Musketeers. Louis-Charles could not help feeling proud of the man his young lover had become. ‘My cook, will be able to accommodate three extra mouths at the table, he was a soldier once, you have probably seen how well a cook can make something out of seemingly nothing. I’ll let him know and we can have a drink whilst we wait. I expect there is a reason for you turning up on my doorstep, this will give you a chance to fill me in.’‘Thank you,’ replied Aramis.Louis-Charles could not work out what had brought his former lover to his estate, but he was determined to make the most of the visit.MMMMHe led Aramis and his friends into the blue sitting room, his favourite room. Benoit had chosen the furnishings and although Louis-Charles would never admit it, the tastefully decorated room was his favourite. ‘Please sit,’ he said indicating the couch and chairs around the room. He took a seat in his cushioned armchair by the fireplace. Aramis sat opposite him, although the Musketeer did not look particularly comfortable. D’Artagnan and Luc sat on the couch opposite the fire. The young man was looking around the room, wide-eyed. D’Artagnan was glancing at Aramis surreptitiously. Louis-Charles wondered what was going on.‘I suppose you want to know what brings us here.’Louis-Charles nodded. Aramis continued.‘Luc here needs some help.’Aramis nodded towards Luc who was unable to hide his embarrassment at being talked about. He was staring at his shoes. D’Artagnan reached out a hand and squeezed the young man’s shoulder reassuringly. ‘We were sent on a mission that required us to use volunteers to act as the Royal family. The volunteers, well they weren’t volunteers, they were condemned prisoners from the Chatelet…’Aramis paused shaking his head. He had said the name of the prison with derision. Louis-Charles suspected there was more to his reaction than what he was talking about.‘...we had to take four prisoners. Luc was not condemned when I met him, but he would have been. He’d been arrested after being caught selling himself.’Louis-Charles glanced at the young man who was now sniffing, trying not to cry. D’Artagnan had moved closer and put his arm around him, pulling him closer. The Musketeer seemed to know how to calm the young man down, his presence seemed to reassure him. ‘We were lucky to be able to liberate Luc from the prison before he endured many interrogations-’‘I was only interrogated once,’ said Luc quietly, looking at Aramis.Aramis smiled at him and nodded.‘When the mission was over, we released the prisoners, none of them had committed any crime worthy of a death sentence. The others, all adults, were able to look after themselves. But Luc has nothing and no one to turn to. He cannot return to Paris-’‘I’ve the money you gave me,’ butted in the young man.‘Yes, Luc, but that won’t last you forever,’ said d’Artagnan.Louis-Charles nodded, ‘and you would like me to help him?’‘If you can. He’s right he does have a little money, we were able to pay the prisoners with some money that we...came into-’Aramis paused for a moment and took a shaky breath. Louis-Charles could see his former lover was fighting some deep emotion for a moment.‘-and it would be enough to see him secure for a few months, but unlike the other prisoners he could use some guidance…’Louis-Charles nodded his understanding. He smiled at the serendipity of events. He looked at Luc who was looking at him with a mixture of wariness and hope.‘Are you any good with horses Luc?’All three men nodded, d’Artagnan spoke before Luc could.‘He helped with the horses on the mission, I’d say he’s a natural with them.’Luc smiled shyly and nodded again, ‘I did enjoy helping to look after them.’Louis-Charles rose from his chair and walked to the door, he opened it and looked out across the hallway.‘Sophie?’ he called. The young woman appeared from another room, hastily pushing her duster into her pocket. Louis-Charles tried not to smile, the slightly clumsy young women would never get a job anywhere else, but she was loyal and trustworthy. She executed a slightly wobbly curtsy.‘Could you show my friends to the stable for me and tell Simon that I may have found him a new stable boy?’Sophie nodded and bit her lip for a moment as she waited.Louis-Charles turned back to the room, ‘Sophie will show you the stables.’Luc looked at Aramis, an expression of confusion on his face.‘It’s alright Luc, Louis-Charles is my friend, you can trust him. D’Artagnan will go with you.’D’Artagnan nodded slowly as he looked at Aramis for a few seconds. It was obvious Aramis wanted to talk to Louis-Charles alone. Louis-Charles wondered if d’Artagnan knew that they had been lovers? Did d’Artagnan know that Aramis slept with men? It was obvious he did not have an issue with men being together or his attitude towards the unfortunate Luc would probably have been different. Luc looked a little worried as d’Artagnan led him from the room but after an encouraging nod from Aramis, he went without any further hesitation. Louis-Charles closed the door after watching Sophie lead the two men towards the back of the house. He turned back to Aramis who was watching him.‘I will admit to being surprised to actually see you,’ said Louis-Charles as he moved back to his chair. ‘Your letters are sporadic, I’ve not had word from you for nearly three years…’He paused as Aramis sighed and looked down, a melancholy expression clouding his handsome face. ‘Has something happened?’Aramis looked up but did not seem capable of making eye contact, ‘quite a lot has happened...some good, no, incredibly good things and some...horrible things…’‘I see.’‘We were genuinely in the area and Luc really does need help,’ said Aramis, as if he needed to justify his visit.‘Do you think I don’t want you here?’ asked Louis-Charles who was becoming increasingly concerned by Aramis’ demeanour. ‘No,’ replied Aramis, ‘I know your open invitation was genuine, I just don’t like the reason I’ve come.’Louis-Charles glanced at the door when he heard a gentle knock.‘Come in Sophie,’ he said raising his voice. The maid pushed the door open and peered around. ‘Carlos says lunch will be in twenty minutes, he’s…’ she paused and looked up for a few moments trying to remember the message, Louis-Charles hid a smile as he waited.‘...adding some more...sorry Sir, I’ve forgotten what the meat is…’‘That’s alright Sophie, I’m sure it will be fine, whatever it is.’Sophie smiled, curtseyed, and left the room. ‘She is...quite special,’ said Louis-Charles after a few seconds.Aramis managed an amused smile, ‘you were always so patient,’ he said. ‘I know,’ Louis-Charles replied, ‘it is a fault.’They looked at each other for a few seconds before Louis-Charles continued.‘It is obvious to me that whatever the awful things that have happened to you are, they are difficult for you to talk about, so perhaps you should start with one of the good things?’He was rewarded with a genuine smile from his former lover. Aramis glanced at the door for a second before responding. ‘D’Artagnan and I, we’ve been...together...for nearly three years. Our closest friends in the garrison know about our relationship so, although there is an obvious need to be discreet we can at least be relaxed around them. It has been amazing, he was naive to begin with, I taught him...rather like you taught me…’Aramis trailed off with a smile.‘How did you come to be together?’Louis-Charles thought it was an innocent question, he was not expecting the answer Aramis gave. A darkness descended over his face.‘We were on a mission together, we were captured by a group of men who assaulted us. We were both raped by the men.’Louis-Charles could not help a gasp at the revelation. He stared at his former lover open-mouthed. He knew there was always the possibility for captured men to be abused sexually but had never considered that he would meet someone who had been on the receiving end of such treatment, let alone meet two men who had been assaulted. ‘Afterwards, he was struggling to get over the attack, his lover, his female lover, suggested that we sleep together as a way of giving d’Artagnan a good experience with a man. He asked me and I did it, but afterwards, he realised I was still struggling to recover and offered to help me in the same manner. We’ve been together ever since. Constance, his lover, she accepts him and me for what we are and doesn’t seem to mind sharing him.’‘You were very unlucky and then very lucky by the sounds of things. I am so sorry that you experienced that, even if it did lead to you finding d’Artagnan who appears to be the right man for you.’Aramis smiled again, ‘I love him. I don’t think I could live without him now. We’ve managed to remain professional when we are at work. It’s been amazing.’‘But?’Louis-Charles had sensed that there was more to be said. Before Aramis could respond the door was pushed open. Benoit entered leading d’Artagnan and Luc back into the room. Benoit, who was dressed in one of his slightly over the top doublets was talking enthusiastically to d’Artagnan about the horses.Benoit finished what he was saying and turned to Louis-Charles, ‘have you been collecting waifs and strays again? Young Luc here will be perfect as our new stable boy. Simon said that he has an affinity with the horses. Can we keep him?’‘I rather think that will be Luc’s decision Ben,’ said Louis-Charles.Luc still looked a little wary of his surroundings and seemed a little confused by Benoit’s tone.Benoit looked at Aramis, ‘is this him?’Louis-Charles sighed, ‘before you start acting all manly and try to hide the fact that you are sleeping with me, Ben, you should know that these two are in a relationship and that Luc here had the misfortune to have to sell himself to survive.’Benoit paused for a second as he took in the information. Louis-Charles glanced at Aramis and rolled his eyes, his former lover smirked.‘So I don’t have to pretend to be your secretary or anything?’‘No, Ben, you don’t.’Benoit grinned.‘Wonderful,’ he said, before walking up to Aramis and holding out his hand. Aramis shook the man’s hand with a warm smile on his face.‘I want you to tell me all about him when he was with you,’ said Benoit. ‘I want to know if there is anything that he did with you that he hasn’t done with me.’Louis-Charles shook his head, ‘I think you will find Aramis to be a little more reserved than you, my love. And before you start interrogating our guests perhaps we should eat? They will need all their energy to deal with you’MMMMThe meal had been, as Louis-Charles expected, sumptuous and filling. His cook really was a man of talent. They filed back into the blue sitting room and the men arranged themselves in the same seats as before, with Benoit sitting on the other side of Luc who had taken to the childish man somewhat. Benoit had managed to keep them all entertained during their meal which had given Louis-Charles a chance to consider what Aramis had told him. He was mortified that something so horrific had happened to his former lover. Their time together had been a joy. He had found teaching Aramis all that he knew to be the most rewarding few months of his life. Benoit had already had relationships with men, all he needed to learn was to stop putting them both in danger with his inability to be discreet. His current lover was the main reason they had moved from the city. Benoit was able to be more himself now that they were away from the people who disapproved of their kind. Louis-Charles had been careful to staff his estate with open-minded servants. Simon had the same inclinations as himself and Benoit. The young horseman had been recommended by a mutual friend. Sophie was an orphan who would never have managed to get herself work anywhere else due to her clumsiness, which Louis-Charles was convinced was a medical issue but could not prove it, the young woman was very friendly and had a tendency to be tactile with people, but he was gradually getting her to understand her place and she loved to learn. The cook, Carlos, had escaped his captors during a battle, the Spaniard had been effectively hiding on the estate ever since. His French was perfect and he was always simply referred to as ‘the cook’ if visitors, who might not be too friendly towards a foreigner, were around. And now it seemed he was about to gain a new employee, Luc, who had been arrested for selling himself. D’Artagnan had briefly talked about the mission during their meal. Benoit had been silent throughout paying rapt attention.Aramis had been quiet, it was obvious the man wanted or perhaps needed to talk to him. They had spent hours talking when they had been together, Aramis had talked about things that had frustrated him in his work, Louis-Charles could tell his lover felt better for airing his issues and worries. That was what Aramis needed to do, that was why he was there.Louis-Charles wondered why Aramis could not talk to his current lover? D’Artagnan was a handsome young man, some years younger than Aramis but that did not seem to matter. The men shared a horrific bond. They seemed to be in a strong relationship. So what was it that was bothering Aramis that he could not talk to d’Artagnan about?‘You really have found yourself a handsome man,’ said Benoit to Aramis who smiled and nodded. D’Artagnan gave a slightly exasperated sigh. The joviality seemed to be welcomed by all the visitors. Luc had relaxed a lot since they had arrived. ‘I will try to steal him away,’ Benoit continued with an exaggerated conspiratorial whisper.‘I’m not for stealing,’ replied d’Artagnan with a chuckle.‘The two of you, it must be glorious when you are together. Strong soldiers,’ he looked at d’Artagnan, ‘I just love the thought of you pinning me to the bed so that I could not escape you as you see to my needs. I would love to be your prisoner…’Benoit trailed off as he looked at d’Artagnan who had looked away quite suddenly. Louis-Charles looked at Aramis who had closed his eyes, apparently fighting to stay calm.Luc was looking between the two men, his expression returning to one of worry and wariness.‘What have I said?’ asked Benoit.‘Something happened to them both,’ said Luc, ‘they’ve not said exactly what, but I think d’Artagnan was forced to hurt Aramis...and they haven’t been able to move on. They’ve been pretending they’re fine. But they aren’t.’Louis-Charles looked at Aramis who nodded very slightly. Thinking of what Benoit had been suggesting to d’Artagnan and what Luc had just said, Louis-Charles was able to build a picture of what might have happened. He hoped he was wrong, but somehow knew that he was not. ‘Ben, do you think you could take Luc and show him where he will be sleeping if he decides he’d like to work for us and perhaps find him some more practical clothes and shoes?’Benoit, who looked as concerned as Louis-Charles suspected he did, nodded and stood up, Luc followed him from the room. As the door closed d’Artagnan rose from the couch and moved to stand by the window looking out across the neat lawn at the front of the house. He was taking shaking breaths, Louis-Charles could tell he was trying to calm himself.Aramis looked at his lover for a few seconds before turning back to Louis-Charles. ‘It’s true. A few weeks ago we were captured by a wealthy man who abused us. He had some sort of sick, twisted need to have pain inflicted upon himself. He forced d’Artagnan to flog him and scold him with a hot poker. If d’Artagnan had not hurt the man, I would have been hurt. We had no choice, if we did not do as he said he would have killed us both. I had to encourage d’Artagnan a couple of times. It was very difficult for him...but I do not blame you.’Aramis had twisted in his seat to look at d’Artagnan who nodded, but did not turn back from the window. ‘At the end he wanted d’Artagnan to fuck him, with no preparation. The man wanted to be hurt. But the man wanted to hurt me, to rape me at the same time…’Aramis paused for a few seconds. Louis-Charles could only guess that Aramis was reliving the events in his mind.‘I was tied to a bench. I was helpless. D’Artagnan didn’t want to do it, I told him to. We would both have been killed otherwise...what I didn’t know was that the man stepped aside and forced d’Artagnan to have sex with me. I thought it was the man, but it was not…’‘I didn’t tell him at the time,’ said d’Artagnan who was still gazing out of the window, ‘because they were pointing guns at him, they weren’t just going to kill him, they were going to leave him in such a state it would have taken him a while to die painfully. But I didn’t tell him afterwards either. I couldn’t tell him that I had...raped him...I know, Aramis, that you don’t blame me…’Louis-Charles could tell the men had been over and over the event together. He suspected Aramis had repeatedly told his lover he did not blame him, but d’Artagnan was obviously still blaming himself. ‘We’ve tried to move on,’ continued d’Artagnan as he finally turned from the window, ‘but I’m struggling to get back to how we were. I’ve not been able to have sex with Aramis since...I know I’ll have flashbacks. And although Aramis has said he will wait, I don’t like not being able to get back to how we were.’Louis-Charles looked at the two men. He could see now that they were both struggling not to give into the negative emotions. He knew now why Aramis had come. Aramis needed to talk to someone that was not his lover. Louis-Charles suspected that d’Artagnan could do with someone to talk to as well. ‘Stay for a couple of days,’ he said looking at both men, noting the relief in Aramis’ eyes, ‘I will listen to you both. I think you need it.’MMMMThey had moved to the more intimate setting of his study. Other than his rose garden Louis-Charles could escape to his study. Benoit had no interest in the running of the estate from a financial viewpoint and never ventured into the study. Apart from the one time he had, Louis-Charles hid a smile as he remembered the man pretending he was interested in the accounts when all he really wanted to do was entice his lover into bed. Of course, it had worked, they had enjoyed several hours together, the paperwork forgotten, but it was still there when Louis-Charles had returned the following morning.Aramis was again sat opposite him. Now that they were alone and were not going to be disturbed Louis-Charles could see that Aramis was more relaxed. Benoit had read the situation well, he had offered to ride with d’Artagnan, Luc and Simon to the nearest village, a few miles away. D’Artagnan had nodded his understanding, and after a lingering look at Aramis, had turned away to follow the others. ‘What happened to the two of you, I cannot begin to imagine what it must have been like. And for it not to be the first time for you either. Aramis, I wish you had written to me after you were attacked the first time, I would have visited you.’Aramis was looking at the wine he was holding, twisting the stem watching the light reflecting off the cut glass. ‘If I had written to you for help each time something horrific happened, you would not have been at home very much…’‘What do you mean?’Louis-Charles hated to think what else could have happened to his former lover. When Aramis continued he had to put his own glass of wine down.‘I was arrested for sodomy.’Aramis looked up at him, his expression blank.‘I was interrogated in the Chatelet for nine days. I watched another man broken on the wheel. I was told I would be next.’Aramis had spoken with a monotonous tone.‘Why were you arrested? Did someone give you up?’Aramis chuckled wryly, ‘something like that...one of my former lovers, a man called Damon, he was blackmailing me. He wanted sexual favours or he would tell the authorities about d’Artagnan. We set him up to be arrested for theft. He tried to implicate me then. But it was months later that Cardinal Richelieu decided to act.’‘You were interrogated and you didn’t give d’Artagnan up,’ Louis-Charles could not hide the awe from his voice, ‘you must have put up with a lot.’‘I did,’ said Aramis very quietly, ‘it took me a while to be comfortable again. I was scared of everything for a long time.’‘That does not make you less of a man, Aramis, you have nothing to be ashamed of.’Aramis looked at him for a few seconds before speaking again.‘I’ve been raped more than once,’ he said, ‘Damon forced me and another former lover drugged me and attacked me…’Louis-Charles took a moment to absorb the information. Aramis had truly been unlucky. He wished he had known, although he did not know what he could have done for Aramis.Louis-Charles sighed, ‘the man that was blackmailing you forced you into submission with a threat to your lover; you had no choice. The man that attacked you the first time, you submitted to protect d’Artagnan then as well. Didn’t you?’Aramis nodded.‘And you could not have prevented being attacked when you were drugged. You are doing yourself a disservice, Aramis, you seem to think you are pathetic, but you are not. You are a brave man who has endured some horrendous attacks to protect your lover.’Louis-Charles had pulled his chair closer to Aramis, he took the wine glass from him and put it down before taking his hands in his. Aramis looked at him, he managed a sad smile. ‘I’m worried about him,’ said Aramis, ‘I’m worried that he thinks he owes me, that because of what I did for him, the attacks and the arrest. D’Artagnan thinks that he needs to get back to how we were before he assaulted me. I’ve told him again and again that I’ll wait, that it wouldn’t matter if he never had sex with me again, but I can tell he wants to get back to what he considers normal.’Aramis was good at lying. He was good at moving the problem away from himself, Louis-Charles had only been with the man for a few months but even in that time, he had worked out when his lover was hiding things from him. Occasionally there were secrets of state and Louis-Charles knew not to ask, but most of the time it was some personal worry that Aramis had not wanted to bother his lover with. The little speech his former lover had just made was truthful, of course, Aramis would be worried that d’Artagnan might be trying to rush back to normality. But that was not everything that was bothering Aramis. Louis-Charles could tell there was more, he was not sure what it was yet, but there was something. He decided not to push Aramis, at least not at that moment. ‘You can only tell him you’ll wait so many times,’ said Louis-Charles as he rubbed his thumb across Aramis’ hand, ‘you just need to be patient with him, be there when he stumbles, help him when he falls, but it is obvious that you both care for each other deeply. If you didn’t, what happened to you both would not be affecting you both so much.’Aramis nodded, ‘I just wish I was sure he really, truly understood that.’Louis-Charles said, ‘if you are happy for me to talk to him, about what happened to you both, I will. I want to help you both. Do you think he would talk to me?’Aramis nodded, ‘I think so.’‘Get a good night's sleep, we can work on this tomorrow. I cannot have you in torment. I won’t allow it.’MMMMD’Artagnan walked beside him at an easy pace, the Musketeer, without his weapons and uniform, seemed a more vulnerable young man. Louis-Charles wondered if they both hid behind their uniforms at times? Masquerading as men who had no issues, who were not bothered by events from their past.Aramis and Luc were in the stables dealing with the horses, Simon was showing Luc what he would be expected to do if he decided to stay on the estate and become the new stable hand. Louis-Charles hoped the young man would stay, Luc would make a good addition to his little band of misfits. He also knew it would give Aramis some relief to know that the young man was safe, it was clear he had become fond of Luc over the few days he had known him. ‘Do you think Luc will find Aramis leaving him difficult?’ he asked d’Artagnan as they walked along an avenue of trees.‘He may take a few days to adjust, but his confidence since Aramis got him out of the Chatelet has increased greatly.’ ‘What did you think of that? Aramis rescuing Luc?’D’Artagnan thought for a moment before replying. Louis-Charles wondered what the young Musketeer was considering before he spoke. ‘I think it was cathartic for him. It was the first time he’d been in there since he was a prisoner. I know it was difficult for him, we all told him he didn’t need to be there, but he was determined,’ d’Artagnan paused smiling, ‘he’s always so determined to get over things. I wish I was as good as he was at it…’‘He will wait for you, he’s told you that.’‘I know, but I can also tell he wants things back to normal. He’s not happy as we are. But the harder I try the more I just know it will fail.’‘How will it fail, what is it that is stopping you from sleeping with him?’D’Artagnan glanced at Louis-Charles for a few seconds.‘It’s funny,’ he said, ‘I don’t have a problem talking to you. You were his lover, I should probably be jealous, but you’re so different to his other lovers, the ones that I’ve met.’Louis-Charles hid his feeling of flattery at d’Artagnan’s words. He knew he had always been a good listener, and that he was direct and did not skirt around issues. ‘You met the lover that drugged him?’ he asked, thinking about what Aramis had said the night before. ‘Yeah, I was really jealous of him, although in that instance I was right to be. Aramis was badly affected by that, I wish I’d been more forceful in trying to stop them from seeing each other. He could have been killed.’It was obvious to Louis-Charles how much d’Artagnan cared for Aramis, and how much he needed to recover and get back to what, for them, was normal. ‘But he wasn’t, and he recovered. And you will recover from this. You may not go back to exactly how it was, and you don’t need to go back to how it was. Relationships change, they develop. I’ve been with many men over the years, I’ve had long relationships and short ones, each was very different. Some men would only have sex with me and did not want me to have sex with them, sometimes it was the other way around. I’ve even been with men who did not want to have sex, but still wanted to be with another man. We’re all different, and our tastes change. Obviously, in your case you’ve had a horrific event occur that has affected you. He’s said it would be alright if you carried on as you were. He won’t hold it against you, he wants you more than anything else. I could tell that from the moment I first saw you together.’D’Artagnan had tears in his eyes, Louis-Charles reached out and pulled the man into a hug. ‘I hurt him,’ d’Artagnan said when he stepped away from the embrace, ‘I even considered letting them kill him…’Louis-Charles could see the conflict in d’Artagnan’s eyes, it was clear he felt as though he had betrayed his lover.‘It will take time, do not rush yourself. Take Benoit and myself, we have a loving relationship, but he has never had sex with me, he does not want to. I’ve accepted that, he is very good at dictating what happens when we are together, in fact, I rarely get a choice in the matter.’He rested his hands on d’Artagnan’s shoulders, the younger man looked at him, blinking a few times to clear his eyes.‘Just be with him. One day, maybe not for months or years or maybe never, you can go back to how you were. Accept that this is how your relationship works now. But you have to accept it, this will be your new normal.’D’Artagnan nodded.MMMMAs they walked back towards the stables Louis-Charles hoped he had got through to d’Artagnan, the young man had continued to be open about his relationship with Aramis. He suspected it had been good for him to talk openly about his lover to someone who would not judge and equally understood the issues they had. It was obvious that d’Artagnan was settled in his relationship but needed the reassurance that there was nothing wrong with the shift in exactly what they did with each other. Louis-Charles hoped that his own candidness had helped d’Artagnan to realise that the way they loved each other was immaterial to the relationship. The love was there, regardless of how it was acted upon. Luc was talking to Simon, looking up at the tall man, paying close attention to his words. Aramis was stood a few yards away feeding a carrot to his mare and surreptitiously watching Luc.Louis-Charles nodded a greeting to Simon and Luc, ‘well Luc,’ he said, ‘what do you think about coming to work for me? I hope Simon has not put you off? It’s hard work, I have several horses that needed seeing to. Benoit and I like to ride, so need our mounts in good condition.’Luc looked back at the stable for a moment before glancing at Aramis who nodded with an encouraging smile.‘I’d like to work here, please, if I can?’Louis-Charles smiled, ‘that’s settled then. I’m sure we can help you to write to Aramis, who will no doubt appreciate some updates from you.’Aramis nodded, ‘I would like that,’ he said.Luc suddenly looked a little worried.‘Are you leaving now?’Louis-Charles spoke before either Musketeer could, ‘no they are not. Because we need to celebrate your new job. I like to have an informal meal with all my staff every so often and I think tonight would be a good opportunity, and I would like Aramis and d’Artagnan to stay another couple of nights. What do you say, Simon, are you happy to have Luc to assist you?’The groom nodded, ‘I think Luc will be a hard worker.’‘And you two, are you happy to stay another night or two?’Both Aramis and d’Artagnan nodded. All three of them knew they needed some more time to discuss the issues the two soldiers had, but if the extra time appeared to be for Luc’s benefit that did not matter.‘In which case, Luc, perhaps you could go to the kitchen and let Carlos know that I would like him to cook for us all tonight?’Luc nodded and after a brief glance at Aramis, he ran off in the direction of the kitchen. MMMMAnother sunny day greeted them the following morning. Louis-Charles disentangled himself from Benoit gently, not wishing to wake his lover who would probably be tired. Benoit had been up later than him talking to Carlos and d’Artagnan about battles and skirmishes. They had enjoyed a relaxed meal in the staff quarters, wine was drunk, Louis-Charles allowed Sophie half a glass of wine which had seen her snoozing in the cook's chair in the corner of the kitchen before the meal was over. Aramis had carried the young women to her room and lay her on her bed, where he had gently relieved her of her shoes and covered her with a blanket. Louis-Charles had watched how caring his former lover was with the young women. Aramis was a kindly man and really did not deserve all that had happened to him over the last few years. He and Aramis had left the others to it in the kitchen. D’Artagnan had seemed at ease as they left the room. Louis-Charles had told Aramis that he wanted to talk to him again in the morning, Aramis had agreed. Louis-Charles knew there was something that Aramis was not saying and he was determined to get it out of the man before they left the following morning. It was well into the morning as he made his way to the dining room. Carlos, who did not ever seem to sleep, had been in and laid out a simple breakfast. Louis-Charles could tell Carlos had done the work rather than Sophie as the cutlery was haphazardly piled on the sideboard. He suspected Sophie was still asleep, the poor women would be very apologetic later, despite it being Louis-Charles’ fault for allowing her to have a drink. It was evident that at least one other person had eaten breakfast, Louis-Charles hoped it was Aramis, but there was no sign of him. After eating Louis-Charles wandered into the grounds, he wondered if his former lover had gone to the stables to check on his and d’Artagnan’s horses. As he passed the rose garden gate he glanced in and spotted his quarry. Aramis was sat alone on the bench, his legs stretched out in front of him, he was leaning back with his eyes shut, face turned towards the sun. He was not wearing his doublet or weapons, he looked the most relaxed he had since the men had arrived on the estate. Louis-Charles approached him quietly, but Aramis looked towards him whilst he was still a few yards away.‘I thought you would find me here,’ he said with a smile.‘I don’t often have visitors to my rose garden,’ replied Louis-Charles. ‘It’s one of my contemplative spots.’‘A bit like the lake?’‘A bit,’ nodded Louis-Charles thinking about the place he had taken the young Aramis to, not long after they had first met.‘I took d’Artagnan there,’ continued Aramis, ‘I hope you don’t mind.’‘Of course not. I know you found the spot beautiful as well.’‘I’d promised him I’d take him somewhere we could be alone and just be...us.’Louis-Charles nodded, he understood, men with their inclinations had to hide themselves all the time, it was pleasant to be able to relax in the open occasionally. ‘Thank you for last night, I think it helped Luc. It gave him a chance to get to know you and the others here. He’s going to be fine here.’Louis-Charles watched Aramis, he was thinking about other people again. Other people always came first as far as Aramis was concerned. ‘You came here because you needed to talk about what happened to you,’ said Louis-Charles.‘And I have, and so has d’Artagnan,’ said Aramis, ‘he told me this morning that he feels a lot better for talking to you. Thank you.’Louis-Charles sighed and shook his head. Aramis looked at him with a slight wariness in his eyes. ‘You have not talked to me yet, Aramis. You have not told me what your real issue is. I know you’re worried about d’Artagnan, but there’s something else...something I don’t think you’ve even mentioned to him.’Aramis was about to speak, to deny that he had any problem.‘Don’t lie to me, Aramis, we were lovers for several months, I know you well enough to be able to tell when you are about to lie. I’ve known since you turned up that you’ve been hiding something, hiding it from d’Artagnan as well I think. Your lover is so worried about not being able to recover he’s forgotten about you. He’s not meant to forget about you, he’s trying to recover for you, but he’s not noticed that you have something bothering you.’Despite his obvious distress, Aramis smiled, a genuine smile.‘You were always so perceptive,’ he said.‘That’s why you came here,’ Louis-Charles said as he moved to sit on the bench next to Aramis. ‘Make use of your time here. Please Aramis, I will not be happy if you leave tomorrow morning not having spoken to me.’Aramis looked down for a few moments, before straightening up on the bench. He took a deep breath, but did not speak. Louis-Charles remained quiet and still, not wishing to intrude as Aramis readied himself to finally speak.When Aramis looked at him, his eyes were wet with tears.‘The thing that I have not said to d’Artagnan is that...is that I’m scared. What he did to me, even though I do not blame him for it, but Louis, he raped me. That’s what he did. And it was not the first time I’ve been forced...and I know he didn’t have a choice and that to a certain extent I encouraged him - not knowing it was him - but that’s what he did.’Aramis paused for a few seconds, he sniffed and wiped his palm across his eyes. Louis-Charles continued to remain silent, but he reached out and took Aramis’ hand in his, to show his support as Aramis continued to speak.‘I’m scared that when he recovers because I know he will eventually. He’s so determined...and I love him for that...he’s going to want to have sex with me and I’m not sure I want him to...because I am going to just end up reliving it again...The stupid thing is that, I know he didn’t want to hurt me, I know he feels awful, but he did it and I can’t get that idea out of my head.’Louis-Charles shifted closer to Aramis and put his arm around the crying man, pulling him closer.‘I’ve managed to have sex with him, and I don’t seem to have a problem with that and neither does he. We’re able to touch each other, to kiss, to be close at night...but I don’t want him to have sex with me. And I don’t know what to do when he has recovered enough to want it.’Aramis twisted to look at Louis-Charles, ‘what if I have flashbacks and I’m violent? What if I push him away, what if I hurt him?’Louis-Charles chuckled, ‘there you go again, thinking about him before yourself.’Aramis looked down, ‘sorry.’‘Don’t apologise. You have done nothing wrong. And he has done nothing wrong. Aramis, I want to ask you a question. You mentioned it the other day but we didn’t really talk at length about it.’Aramis nodded.‘Have you really recovered from the rapes you endured? Not this most recent time, with d’Artagnan. But the other times. You’ve been very unlucky, and I know you prefer to worry about other people. Is that so that you do not have to deal with what is actually a significant issue that you have?’Aramis looked at him, Louis-Charles could tell he was struggling to contain himself. Aramis was shaking slightly, Louis-Charles pulled him into a hug holding him tightly. Aramis wrapped his arms around him, holding him. Louis-Charles wondered if Aramis was holding onto him as if his life depended on it. Aramis’ shoulders heaved as he cried into Louis-Charles shoulder.They remained locked together for several minutes. Louis-Charles knew they would not be disturbed, and he knew that Aramis needed the time, needed to finally accept what had happened to him. He knew that Aramis was not denying the assaults occurred, but he had not dealt with them in his own mind. The latest horrific event had perhaps finally pushed him to his limit. The fact that his own lover had been forced to assault him would be enough to send most people mad, but Aramis had locked the emotion away whilst he dealt with his lover and denied that he needed help himself.Soldiers were supposed to be men of little outward emotion, which was fine on the battlefield, but that did not mean they lacked emotion or suffered when horrific things happened to them. Louis-Charles knew that his former lover had been hiding and bottling events up in his head for months, possibly years. He also knew it would take Aramis a while to properly deal with all that had happened to him. Aramis finally released Louis-Charles, but allowed him to maintain contact with a hand resting on his thigh. Aramis leaned back on the bench again, covering Louis-Charles hand with his own. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as perceptive as you,’ he said, ‘I don’t think I’d even admitted to myself that I’d never really accepted what had happened to me. I know I feel pathetic for allowing it to happen three times...I can’t count the last time because he would not do that to me. He did not want to hurt me.’‘I told you yesterday that you are not pathetic, Aramis,’ admonished Louis-Charles with a squeeze of his hand, ‘you allowed it to happen to keep him safe. That, Aramis, is an incredibly brave thing to do. Some men would have sooner let him die than be put through what you went through.’Aramis finally nodded his agreement to the statement, ‘Luc said the same thing...about my time in the Chatelet.’‘Luc was correct,’ said Louis-Charles. They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the bees and butterflies flitting between the roses. Aramis sniffed a few times but seemed to have calmed down after his acceptance of what had happened to him. ‘As for your current issues, Aramis,’ said Louis-Charles, ‘when I spoke to d’Artagnan yesterday he said he was worried he would never recover. I think you can help him by admitting your own reticence for him to have sex with you. If he knows that you are not keen yet, it will mean he does not feel the need to recover to please you. Because that is what he wants to do, he wants to please you. He knows what you have done for him and he wants to please you. He’s managed to forget that you might be suffering as well. Talk to him, be honest with him and I think you will both find you are able to recover. Your times together will be different but you will be together. You may be able to return to how you were in time, but with both of you on the same page it will be a lot easier for you.’Aramis nodded, ‘I knew you would be able to help. I’m sorry to have landed all this on you.’‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’Louis-Charles leaned forward and kissed Aramis on the cheek before embracing him again. MMMMThe day had progressed with a calm and relaxed atmosphere. Louis-Charles had spent some time placating Sophie as she sat in the kitchen drinking a concoction Carlos had given her to help her headache. He had enjoyed watching Aramis’ amused expression whilst he spoke to the maid. Luc had become a little tearful as the realisation that Aramis and d’Artagnan would be leaving early the next morning had hit him. Louis-Charles and d’Artagnan had left him and Aramis alone to talk. The young man needed a little time to say a proper goodbye to the man who had saved his life. Louis-Charles had told d’Artagnan that he and Aramis had spoken again and that Aramis was perhaps ready to talk more truthfully to his lover. D’Artagnan had looked intrigued. Louis-Charles did not elaborate, knowing that Aramis had to be the one to confess his issues to his lover. It had broken Louis-Charles’ heart to see his former lover so distraught. Aramis was too good a man to have suffered as he had, and d’Artagnan did not deserve to have suffered either. All Louis-Charles could hope for was that now that he had finally got Aramis to talk and admit to himself that he was struggling to come to terms with the assaults, the man could begin his own long road to recovery. Aramis knew it would not happen overnight, but now that he had admitted he was struggling the process could start. Louis-Charles was glad he could help, even in such a small manner. They ate their final meal together. Benoit had entertained them with stories of his exploits. Aramis had been a little quiet, d’Artagnan had looked a little concerned. Louis-Charles wondered when Aramis would talk to d’Artagnan. He had promised to do so before they left. Realising that Aramis would want to talk to his lover during the evening, Louis-Charles nodded to Benoit who understood. The exuberant man might have been loud and over the top most of the time but he could be gentle and caring when he needed to be. Benoit excused himself from the room after they had finished their drinks. ‘We have an early start,’ said Aramis, ‘we should get to bed…’Louis-Charles glanced at d’Artagnan, who was trying not to smile at Aramis’ rather poor attempt to take his lover away so that they could talk.‘Sleep well, I will make sure Carlos puts on extra for breakfast,’ said Louis-Charles.Aramis nodded his thanks and led his lover from the room. Louis-Charles waited for a few seconds before quietly following them. He knew what he was about to do was a great invasion of the men’s privacy but he needed to know that Aramis was going to talk to d’Artagnan.The room the Musketeers were sleeping in had an adjoining door to the next bedroom. The door, which Louis-Charles would eventually get around to fixing, did not close completely. It appeared to be closed but there was a gap around it which meant he could sit on the other side and listen and look into the bedroom. He followed the two men silently, he knew which floorboards creaked along the corridors towards their bedroom. Louis-Charles smiled as he watched d’Artagnan slip his hand into his lovers as they walked. D’Artagnan had clearly worked out that Aramis was going to talk.D’Artagnan pushed the door open and held it for Aramis. Louis-Charles waited for the door to be closed before slipping into the next bedroom. He crept up to the adjoining door and settled himself on a nearby chair. He could see, through the gap, Aramis stood with his back to him. D’Artagnan was still by the main door, undoing his doublet. ‘Louis-Charles told me you two had spoken again. He said you might want to finally talk to me about something...but I thought you’d already talked. What haven’t you said?’D’Artagnan’s words were not accusatory, they were filled with concern for his lover. Aramis had not moved from where he was stood, his shoulders were slightly slumped. D’Artagnan slowly walked towards Aramis, stopping in front of him, resting his hands on his lover's shoulders.‘Take your time, you know we’re supposed to tell each other everything and it doesn’t matter that you’ve kept something back...sometimes it’s difficult…’‘I’m sorry,’ Aramis said, his voice shaking, ‘I should have told you when I realised, but, as Louis kept reminding me I was too busy concentrating on you-’‘Concentrating on me?’ d’Artagnan asked.Aramis nodded, ‘yes, you know how you’re always having a go at me for being more concerned about other people’s injuries before I check myself?’D’Artagnan nodded.‘I’ve been doing that, but for quite a while…’Aramis looked down, d’Artagnan lifted his lover's chin with his finger, forcing Aramis to look at him. ‘You’re too good, you know that?’ said d’Artagnan who leaned in and kissed Aramis. Louis-Charles smiled as he watched Aramis kiss his lover back. The two men embraced for a few seconds before stepping apart. ‘Now,’ said d’Artagnan as he began to undo Aramis’ doublet, helping him to shrug out of it, ‘what is it that you have to tell me?’‘I’m going to take a leaf out of Louis’ book,’ said Aramis. ‘I’m going to be direct and just say it.’D’Artagnan nodded, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Aramis sat in a chair opposite his lover. ‘I don’t think I really consciously knew I was doing it to start with, but I’ve not fully come to terms with what happened to us. To me. I’ve not fully come to terms with what you did to me.’D’Artagnan looked down for a few seconds, his expression darkening for a few seconds. Louis-Charles knew if there were going to be any issues between the two men it would happen at that moment. But d’Artagnan sighed, he looked up.‘I’m sorry,’ he said, continuing quickly before Aramis could speak again. ‘I should have thought more about you. I was so wrapped up in my own hurt and self-loathing I forgot about you. But you should have spoken up. You know that’s our rule.’D’Artagnan crossed the room to Aramis, took his hands and pulled him up, directing him to the bed, the two men sat together. D’Artagnan put his arm around his lover and kissed him. Not a deeply passionate kiss, but a loving kiss nonetheless. The two men talked quietly for some time. Louis-Charles was impressed, Aramis managed to get across all the things that were bothering him. D’Artagnan listened intently, interjecting occasionally until Aramis had finished. ‘You must feel better?’ he asked.Aramis nodded, ‘I know I broke our rule, but I didn’t do it consciously, at least not at first…’D’Artagnan smiled, his eyes lighting up with mischief before he spoke, ‘there you go again, blaming yourself, you really need to learn-’Aramis stopped d’Artagnan’s admonishment with a kiss. This time the kiss was passionate.As they broke apart d’Artagnan leaned back on the bed, ‘do you think you could show me how you intend to look after me now?’Aramis twisted around to look at his lover as d’Artagnan continued.‘Now that we know where we are, I want you to make up for keeping things from me…’D’Artagnan looked at Aramis, a moment of doubt in his eyes. Louis-Charles wondered if the obvious invitation to his lover was a step too far, too soon? D’Artagnan appeared to be wondering the same. Aramis smiled, ‘I think that can be arranged,’ he said.Louis-Charles watched for a few more minutes as Aramis leaned over d’Artagnan and kissed him again, running his hand over his lover's body as d’Artagnan pulled him closer. Despite feeling a little voyeuristic, Louis-Charles continued to watch as the two men kissed and caressed each other. They seemed to finally be relaxed and comfortable with each other. Gone was the slight wariness, there were no more odd looks or concerned glances. As the two men began to undress each other Louis-Charles knew it was time to leave them. He did not need to watch any more, he knew they would be fine. They still had work to do, but they would recover, now that they had both accepted that their relationship would not be exactly the same as it had been before the assault.He quietly closed the door and walked towards his own room, Louis-Charles smiled to himself, pleased that he could help his former lover. Pleased that he had set the two men on the right path again. MMMMEpilogue It took a while for them all to make their goodbyes. Poor Luc clung to Aramis for a long time before Carlos led him back a few paces. Louis-Charles could tell that Aramis was struggling not to react too much to leaving the young man behind. Benoit had embraced both the men firmly, kissing them each before letting them go, as he walked back to the house he had ruffled Luc hair, causing the young man to laugh, lightening the mood. Louis-Charles turned to d’Artagnan, ‘look after him for me will you?’ he said quietly to the young soldier as they embraced.‘I will, and thank you,’ said d’Artagnan.D’Artagnan stepped away. Louis-Charles turned to Aramis. The two men looked at each other for a few seconds before Louis-Charles made the first move, pulling his former lover into a firm hug.‘I don’t know how to thank you,’ said Aramis, ‘you helped me. You made me see what I could not.’‘Thank me, by being happy. Take your time, accept what you are now. Be the best that you can be.’They hugged again.As Aramis mounted up Louis-Charles spoke to them both, ‘be careful whilst you protect the King and the country,’ he said.‘We will,’ said d’Artagnan.With a final nod of thanks, Aramis broke eye contact with Louis-Charles and turned his horse away. He waved to Luc, who was not bothering to hide his tears as his rescuer rode away.Before Louis-Charles could turn back to the house he glanced at Luc.‘They’re going to be alright,’ said the young man with a smile through his tears, ‘I can see that they are not hiding things from each other any more.’Louis-Charles was pleased. ‘Thank you for helping them,’ said Luc. ‘They were lost, but you helped them.’‘I think they have a bit of work to do for themselves yet,’ replied Louis-Charles, ‘but they are on their way.’The End.