Work Text
peetpeet- Peter Parker (enters gc later)blackwindow- Natasha Romanovsmolgreenbean- Bruce Bannertincannot- Tony Starkcapmurica- Steve Rogersmetalarmedgay- James Barnesscarletyeet- Wanda Maximoffcawcawmf- Clint Bartonbirdbutt- Sam Wilson
Irondad - Spiderson
Irondad- hey kidSpiderson- hey mr stark! how are you?Irondad- i'm good. listen, kid. imma do something but you have to promise you won't freak out.Spiderson- what is it? am i in trouble? i'm sorry i hacked friday! she was just extremely easy to hack and it was just extremely tempting to make her sing ''lift yourself'' by kanye west every time you entered the room.Irondad- no you're not in trouble.Irondad- waitIrondad- you hacked friday?Spiderson- no i most certainly did not.Spiderson- aNYWAYSSpiderson- i trust you mr stark so go ahead.Irondad- ...Irondad- alright then
Heroes with a heart (group chat)tincannot- alrighty zeroestincannot- i have to introduce you to someonetincannot- he's nice so don't intimidate him
tincannot added peetpeet to the groupchat
peetpeet- uhm hipeetpeet- mr stark what is thiscapmurica- Tony who is this?blackwindow- that's peter benjamin parker. he's currently 16 y/o and he attends midtown high. he's of average height, has brown hair and brown eyes, lives with his aunt and interns for tony stark.tincannot- natasha what the f u c kblackwindow- friday is surprisingly easy to hacktincannot- great. now i have two shits that can hack into friday.smolgreenbean- three shitscawcawmf- four shitsmetalarmedgay- five shitstincannot- oh woe is metincannot- i have been betrayed by my own kin.peetpeet- waitpeetpeet- hold uppeetpeet- natashapeetpeet- as in natasha ROMANOV?blackwindow- well yes.peetpeet- natasha romanov as in the bLACK WIDOW??????blackwindow- wellblackwindow- yes.peetpeet- askdljiakjdasljdktincannot- great job nat you just made the kid faint.peetpeet- NO I'M BACKpeetpeet- MR STARK SIRpeetpeet- DID YOU JUST ADD ME INTO AN AVENGERS GROUP CHAT????????tincannot- well yes.peetpeet- oh ok then.capmurica- Tony. Did you just add a child to our group chat? I also know you don't take interns. Who is this kid?tincannot- welltincannot- the thing istincannot- care to explain petepeetpeet- i can tell them?tincannot- they're the literal avengers ofc you can tell thempeetpeet- wellpeetpeet- you seepeetpeet- i'm kinda your friendly neighbourhood spiderman?blackwindow- ...capmurica- ...cawcawmf- ...birdbutt- ...scarletyeet- ...smolgreenbean- ...metalarmedgay- ...cawcawmf- i'm sorry w h a tpeetpeet- yeahcapmurica- SPIDERMAN IS 16 YEARS OLD???capmurica- wait that means two years ago you were fourteencapmurica- I DROPPED A BUS ON A KID???peetpeet- a kid with super enhanced strength, hearing, web shooters and a danger warning sense who could snap your neck before you say ''radioactive'' but go off i guesscapmurica- did this child just threaten me?peetpeet- i guess this teenager* kind of did. no offence mr america sir but i really don't like being called a child.cawcawmf- i like this one.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
peetpeet- Peter Parker
blackwindow- Natasha Romanovsmolgreenbean- Bruce Bannertincannot- Tony Starkcapmurica- Steve Rogersmetalarmedgay- James Barnesscarletyeet- Wanda Maximoffcawcawmf- Clint Bartonbirdbutt- Sam Wilson
Heroes with a heart
peetpeet- should i make a twitter for my internship?tincannot- no
blackwindow-nocawcawmf- y e sbirdbutt- noemtalarmedgay- nocapmurica- No.smolgreenbean- definitely notFRIDAY- I do not think that would be a good idea, Peter.scarletyeet- do itpeetpeet- aw alright then imma do itpeetpeet- for you guys <3tincannot- what the shit kid____guyinthechair- Ned Leedsmjhatesyou- Michelle Jonesshuriken- Shurimercwithamouth- Wade Wilsonarachnopwr- Peter Parker
Super Duper Child Prodigies and a mercenary
arachnopwr- guys should i make a twitter for my internshipmjhatesyou- you already have 2 twitter accountsmjhatesyou- do itguyinthechair- yeeshuriken- this will lead to disastershuriken- so, obviously, my answer is yes.mercwithamouth- uwu do it uwuarachnopwr- alright thanks you guys
<3guyinthechair- gayyymjhatesyou-
<3shuriken- should i be jealousarachnopwr- very
____
reindeergames- Loki Odinsonmjolirwielder- Thor Odinsonminorgodling- Peter Parkernotabuggy- Scott Lang
The Odd Ones Out
minorgodling- guysminorgodling- should i make a twitter for my internshipreindeergames- fuck yesmjolnirwielder- WHAT IS THIS 'TWITTER' YOU SPEAK OF?minorgodling- thor you have caps on againmjolnirwielder- AH YESmjolnirwielder- IT INDEED SEEMS THAT I DOmjolnirwielder- HOW UNFORTUNATEminorgodling- did you forget how to get caps offmjolnirwielder- NONSENSEmjolnirwielder- I AM A GODmjolnirwielder- I DO NOT MAKE SUCH IDIOTIC MISTAKESminorgodling- small arrow to your leftmjolnirwielder- I knew that.
notabuggy- what did tin can sayminorgodling- tony* said nonotabuggy- then i say yes.notabuggy- doesn't he tell you to call him tonynotabuggy- likenotabuggy- all the time?minorgodling- he donotabuggy- how come to everyone, you refer to him as tonynotabuggy- but then to his face you call him mr starkminorgodling- becauseminorgodling- because fuck you that's whyreindeergames- peter w h y___
Heroes with a heart
peetpeet- it is donepeetpeet- you have been outvotedpeetpeet- i'm making a twitter for the internshipcapmurica- peter nopeetpeet- (:<blackwindow- i stg petepeetpeet- uwu___
(Twitter)
best intern ever @actualsiinternmr stark told me not to make a twitter
best intern ever @actualsiinternso naturally, i did.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
best intern ever @actualsiinternok so this is thors first time at the compound in like a month and the first thing he does is wALK PAST EVERYONE, LOCK HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM AND EAT ALL THE DAMN POP TARTS
best intern ever @actualsiinternoh wow sis got the audacity to complain saying we don't got enough pop tarts
sheep @woofwoofhow rude of him
best intern ever @actualsiinterni know right i feel so unappreciated TwT
hannah @notmontanaso wait are you actually tony stark's intern? if you are how come you're the only one of his interns to have a twitter about it?
best intern ever @actualsiintern1) maybe i am maybe i'm not i guess we'll never know uwu uwu 2) it's because i'm original and was the first to have the amazing idea to do soand 3) mr stark t r u s t s me
Tony Stark @TonyStark1) unfortunately you are 2) it's actually because all my other interns signed a disclosure agreement and 3) no i fucking don't
best intern ever @actualsiinternyes you do
Tony Stark @TonyStarkyes i do___
Heroes with a heart
peetpeet- you people can i add a bunch of people on this group chattincannot- noblackwindow- nocapmurica- nopeetpeet- .....please?tincannot- ...capmurica- how does he do thiscapmurica- i can feel his stare through the screen guilting me into saying yesblackwindow- goddammitpeetpeet- omg ty!! ilygsm!<333333scarletyees- i think i just lost my few remaining brain cells reading that text message
peetpeet added ishurihopeitdoes (Shuri)
peetpeet added sparky (Thor Odinson)
peetpeet added snekysnek (Loki Odinson)
peetpeet added uwuowouwu (Wade Wilson)
peetpeet added daddylanglegs (Scott Lang)
ishurihopeitdoes- peter what is thissnekysnek- oh godsparky- FRIENDS!daddylanglegs- pete i stguwuowouwu-
･:*:･ﾟ( ͡ºั ͜ʖ ͡ºั )｡･:*:･ﾟpeetpeet- welcome!peetpeet- to the avengers group chat!ishurihopeitdoes- nopeishurihopeitdoes- i'm out
ishurihopeitdoes left the group
peetpeet- oh no she don't___
peterparkour- Peter Parkermj- Michelle Jonesneedleeds- Ned Leedsmoonmoon- Cindy Moonfasterthansanic- Flash Thompsonabeabeabe- Abenotbettycooper- Betty Brantsalsaconqueso- SallyMr Harrington- Mr Harrington
Thee Deca Team
peterparkour added whattheshuri
peterparkour- oh shitpeterparkour- i did not mean to do thatpeterparkour- i most certainly did not mean to do thatmoon moon- uhh pete who is that?needleeds- haha pete u finna diepeterparkour- stfupeterparkour- where the shit is michellewhattheshuri- peter what is thisfasterthansanic- who's she penisfasterthansanic- another loser friend of yours?fasterthansanic- i hope she doesn't pretend to have a fake internship at si?whattheshuri- excuse youpeterparkour- no shuri stfupeterparkour- i meant to add you to the avengers gcpeterparkour- I MEAN
peterparkour deleted 2 messages
salsaconqueso- yOU'RE IN THE AVENGERS GROUP CHAT?????peterparkour- what?peterparkour- no wayfasterthansanic- haha no way penis parker is in the avengers gcabeabeabe- waitabeabeabe- shuri rings a bellabeabeabe- are you famous or somethingpeterparkour- NO SHE'S NOTwhattheshuri- i mean kindapeterparkour- SHURI NOwhattheshuri- is being the princess of wakanda considered famous?moon moon- what whatneedleeds- hey shuriwhattheshuri- sup nedfasterthansanic- yeah no wayfasterhansanic- parker can not be friends with the fricking princess of wakandawhattheshuri- and why is that?fasterthansanic- becausefasterthansanic- well it doesn't matter
fasterthansanic- it's obvious that this is fakepeterparkour- shuri don't do itwhattheshuri- is this the flash?peterparkour- shuri nOwhattheshuri- the one that's been bothering you?needleeds- omg flash u boutta diefasterthansanic- wHAT THE SHITwhattheshuri- yeahwhattheshuri- such a funny prankfasterthansanic- HOW ARE YOU DOING THISpeterparkour- shuri pleasewhattheshuri- nice to know what you've been watching, flash.___
(Twitter)
flash @spiderfanhey guys! so i've been bullying @pparker who happens to be best friends with @therealshuri. peter accidentally put shuri in one of our group chats and i started bullying peter in front of her fucking face because i'm an entitled pig. anyways, because no one messes with shuri's best friends, she has now hacked into my phone even though she's currently miles away from me, in wakanda. here's my internet history! enjoy!https://www.pornhub.comhttps://www.archive-of-our-own.com/starker/father-son-incest/https://www.roblox.comhttps://www.google.com/how-to-get-spiderman-to-notice-youhttps://www.youtube.com/let-it-go/frozenhttps://www.google.ch/hentaihttps://www.buzzfeed.com/ten-reasons-why-all-non-heterosexuals-should-go-to-hellhttps://www.google.com/does-si-give-internships-to-highschools
(AU. I don't think these are real links. I'm just a young girl. My innocent eyes haven't seen the horrors lying in these webpages.)
Tony Stark @TonyStarki find this extremely disturbing
Tony Stark @TonyStarkalso consider any chance you had of working at si gone, as well as any chance of getting into a decent college
Tony Stark @TonyStarkno one messes with my fucking kid
MJ @justcallmemji'm dating a queen>>Shuri @therealshuri<333
Nat @actuallyblackwidowconsider yourself dead, pretty boy. no one messes with our family>>>Loki @snektickler
I'm in>>>>>snek tamer @pparker
guys we've talked about this. no killing underaged children.
FRIDAY @fridayIt seems all the avengers are extremely mad. I have shut down their phones and locked hem in the room to prevent them from taking drastic measures. @spiderfan I suggest you change your identity and move country as soon as possible for your own physical and mental safety.___
Thee Deca Team
fasterthansanic- what the fuckwhattheshuri- never mess with my friends againmj- wow babe that was kinda hotwhattheshuri- thanks babe
<3whattheshuri- if you ever lay a single finger on any of my friends a hacked phone will be the very least of your problems
whattheshuri has left the chat
peterparkour- okkkkpeterparkour- bye___
snek tamer @pparkerok @therealshuri i love you to death but w h a t
t h e
f u c k.
snek tamer @pparkeryou just unleashed the fucking armageddon
snek tamer @pparkerlooks like ragnarok has come early whoop whoop___
Heroes with a heart
peetpeet added ishurihopeitdoes
peetpeet- s t a y
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Salt n Pepper @PepperPottsI will kill them all
hannah @notmontanaoh shit
sheep @woofwoofi'm going to go ahead and assume 'them' are the avengers
Salt n Pepper @PepperPottsyou assumed correct.
snek tamer @pparkeroh no peps don't kill them :(((((
Tony Stark @TonyStarkwhat did i do??????
Salt n Pepper @PepperPottsYOU CALLED HIM YOUR KID ON A PUBLIC SOCIAL MEDIA FORUM
judy hopps @spideyfanconfirmedyeah what's up with that
Tony Stark @TonyStarkTHAT BRAT WAS BULLYING *OUR KID
Salt n Pepper @PepperPottsYES BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT! YOU COULD HAVE DEALT WITH IT MORE PRIVATELY! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY QUESTIONS THAT'LL RAISE? POOR PETER WILL BE FLOODED WITH REPORTERS
Cap @CaptainAmericaI didn't do anything Pepper please spare me!
Shuri @therealshurii'm sorry pepper
sheep @woofwoofshit even her non-kids are fucking terrified
Scarlet Queen @wandawandashe's scary
Salt n Pepper @PepperPottsI have a fiancée
Scarlet Queen @wandawandaand i have a gf f i t e
m e
Salt n Pepper @PepperPottsThe only person I feel like incinerating right now is my dear fiancée. @TonyStark no coffee for two weeks.>>>Tony Stark @TonyStark
NO PLEASE PEPS IM S O R R Y ANYTHING BUT THAT>>>>>Salt n Pepper @PepperPotts
You have brought this upon yourself.___best intern ever @actualsiinterntony hasn't left his room in two days.
judy hopps @spideyfanconfirmedoh shit
best intern ever @actualsiinternhe says he lost his will to live
judy hopps @spideyfanconfirmedoH S H I T
Spidey @wallcrawler@PepperPots come get cho man
Salt n Pepper @PepperPotts@TonyStark stop being such a drama queen.
Tony Stark @TonyStarkno___
richard @whatthefuckrichardOHMYGOD SPIDEY IS MY K I N G
Tony Stark @TonyStarkwhat the shit did he do
TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY TWEET @whatthefuckrichard(1/3) OK SO TODAY IS PRIDE DAY AND I GOT CORNERED BY THESE THUGS BECAUSE I'M GAY
TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY TWEET @whatthefuckrichard(2/3) AND SPIDEY JUST CAME OUTTA
N O W H E R E
TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY TWEET @whatthefuckrichard(3/3) WEARING THE FUCKING PAN FLAG AND SHRECKED THEM
judy hopps @spideyfanconfirmedomg spider being pan just made every gay's day
Spider @wallcrawleryou guys didn't know i'm pan???
Cap @CaptainAmericano because the us government is shit
caw caw bitches @actuallyhawkeyeMOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW I'M DEAF
sheep @woofwoofwait you're deaf?
caw caw bitcher @actuallyhawkeyeS E E
Cap @CaptainAmericaus superheroes are not perfect. we are portrayed as something we are not because otherwise ''some citizens might get nervous''
Cap @CaptainAmerica@TonyStark is bisexual and suffers from PTSD, @PepperPotts is trans, @samfalcon and @bbanner are gay, @wandawanda and @actuallyblackwidow are frustrated lesbians and @wallcrawler is trans and pan, as well as having anxiety and suffering from PTSD. @actuallyhawkeye is deaf and @JBBarnes is an amputee.
Cap @CaptainAmericanot to mention @snektickler and @sparky come from Asgard where genders and sexuality aren't even a thing
snek tamer @pparkeryou failed to mention you're the biggest gay twink who faints every time they're in the same room as @JBBarnes and slams into walls staring at their ass
Buck @JBBarnesyou don't want to know how many times i've had to pull my husband out of fights with homophobes.
Cap @CaptainAmericaTRUMP IS A HOMOPHOBIC LITTLE SHIT
Cap @CaptainAmericaYALL TRUMP SUPPORTERS SAYING HE CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS COUNTRY BETTER THAN US
Cap @CaptainAmericaAS IF HE WON'T START WWIII THE SECOND WE TURN OUR BACKS WITH THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY, MEXICANS AND MUSLIMS INSTEAD OF JEWS
Cap @CaptainAmericaTHIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY. I DIDN'T FREEZE FOR OVER 60 YEARS FOR THIS BEHAVIOUR TO STILL BE ALLOWED IN THE US
frustrated @angrylesboomg i'm crying
best intern ever @actualsiinternoh no don't cry :,((( we love and respect the lgbtq community.
flash @spiderfanomg you're all fags. this is disgusting. i can't believe i looked up to fucking faggots smh
Spidey @wallcrawleri'll remember this next time you're in an elevator about to drop to your inevitable death
flash @spiderfanno not you i respect you
Spidey @wallcrawler
uhm no. just because you respect me won't change the fact that your a homophobic, sexist bully. i'm sorry but this kind of behaviour is unacceptable
MJ @justcallmemjdamn @spiderfan you just got your ass handed by your idol
flash @spiderfanstfu fag
Shuri @therealshuriwhat the fuck did you just say
snek tamer @pparker
shuri please
Shuri @therealshurithis is your last fucking warning. next time you insult a n y o n e i will cut off your testicles and shove them down your throat. am i making myself clear?
flash @spiderfancrystal
frustrated @angrylesbofucking stan
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
harley @potatogunkidhi so i just made a twitter and i'd like to start off by saying that when i was 12 tony stark broke into my garage.___harley @potatogunkidoh wow i already have 20 followers i have been b l e s s e d___snek tamer @pparkerw h o
t h e
f u c k
a t e
m y
e g g o s
Tony Stark @TonyStarkit's not me kid i haven't done anything i'm innocent
Cap @CaptainAmericaMe neither kid spare me. But I bet Nat knows.
snek tamer @pparkerif anyone doesn't come forth i will be forced to spill the tea
sheep @woofwoofspill the tea on what
snek tamer @pparkeron their deepest, darkest secrets
judy hopps @spideyfanconfirmedyes please
God Of Thunder @sparkyWhat are these 'eggos' you speak of?
bird superhero n1 @samfalconGAYS THIS IS A EMERGENCY WHOEVER ATE THOSE EGGOS COME FORTH AND YOU WILL NOT BE HARMED
bird superhero n1 @samfalconi meant to say guys but whatever that works too
snek tamer @pparkeri ' m
g e t t i n g
i m p a t i e n t
Nat @actuallyblackwidowpeter please spare us
caw caw bitches @actuallyhawkeye
no one is safe
green beans @bbannerPETER NO ONE KNOWS WHERE YOUR DAMN EGGOS ARE DON'T TAKE EVERYONE DOWN WITH YOU
snek tamer @pparker...
snek tamer @pparkeralright well since no one has come forth i guess i'll just start with our dear friend bruce banner
green beans @bbannerN O
snek tamer @pparkerdid you guys know that once dear brucie was carrying some extremely dangerous chemicals and he tripped and set a whole floor on fire because he was staring at thor working out in a tank top?
God Of Thunder @sparkyI?????? Thank you????
snek tamer @pparkerspeaking of thor, did you know he was once carried to the emergency room because he choked on a pop tart whilst staring at bruce?
green beans @bbanneraksjdhjkhsajkhkja
Nat @actuallyblackwidowoh wow he's showing no mercy
Nat @actuallyblackwidowwait shit why did i say anything
snek tamer @pparkerah, nat
snek tamer @pparkerdid you know she sings in the shower?
snek tamer @pparkerand not just any songs. disney songs.
snek tamer @pparkershe also has a picture of wanda in her wallet
Scarlet Queen @wandawandaim?????? thank you??????
Cap @CaptainAmericaSTOP! STOP THIS! LOKI STOLE YOUR DAMN EGGOS!
Loki @snektickler:(
snek tamer @pparkeroh, loki
snek tamer @pparkeryou really shouldn't have done that
Loki @snektickler:(((((
snektickler @pparkerloki is actually a huge softie. he cried his eyes out when we saw the greatest showman and his favourite movie genre are rom-coms. his favourite cereal are lucky charms (the ones with the marshmallows in them) and he has a h u g e stuffed unicorn in his room, which is painted pink.
Loki @snekticklernooooo my reputation :(((((((((((((((
frustrated @angrylesbodamn he really went all out
snek tamer @pparkerno one touches my fucking eggos___
harley @potatogunkidso since my life is fucking boring and i have nothing to post i'll just remind you that anthony edward stark broke into my garage 5 years ago and that i shot him with a potato gun.
Tony Stark @TonyStark
will you ever let me live this down
harley @potatogunkidno
Tony Stark @TonyStarkyou're exasperating
harley @potatogunkidyou love me, old man
Tony Stark @TonyStarkmaybe a little.___
frustrated @angrylesbohey @pparker do you know @potatogunkid
snek tamer @pparkerno why
harley @potatogunkidi was summoned
frustrated @angrylesboyou both seem kinda close to @TonyStark
harley @potatogunkididk tony's never mentioned a parker
snek tamer @pparker
hold up your name rings a bell
snek tamer @pparkerOHHHH YOU'RE THAT KID
harley @potatogunkid????___@pparker >>> @potatogunkid
@pparker- you're the kid who shot him with a potato gun when he broke into your garage during the mandarin dude's attack@potatogunkid- that's literally on my twitter you could be lying@pparker- wait hold up@pparker- harley keener, 17ish, lives in tennessee with your mom and sister@pparker- mr stark says hi@potatogunkid- maybe you're just some creepy stalker hacking into the government's files@pparker- he also says you're a little shit@potatogunkid- ok i believe you___
snek tamer @pparkeryeah i've heard about him. he's a great dude
harley @potatogunkidright back at you
sheep @woofwoofoh ok then
Tony Stark @TonyStarkomg you introduced them
Tony Stark @TonyStarkthere's a reason i never introduced them myself.
Tony Stark @TonyStarky o u ' v e
k i l l e d
u s
a l l
snek tamer @pparker>:D___@pparker >>> @potatogunkid
@pparker- 2855944057@potatogunkid- wass dat@pparker- my number@potatogunkid- why???@pparker- because mr stark didn't want us to meet@pparker- so we obviously are@potatogunkid- preach
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
beterbarker- Peter Parkerhrlyknr- Harley Keener___(6:27pm)hrlyknr- hi?hrlyknr- this is harleybeterbarker- harley.beterbarker- i've been expecting youbeterbarker- ok so the plan goes like this: we learn stuff about each other just to make sure we're not potential murderers and then you fly over here and we cause mayhem all over the compound.hrlyknr- that,,,,,,,,,works???hrlyknr- count me inbeterbarker- allrightbeterbarker- imma call you so don't freak outhrlyknr- aye aye cap'n
Even though he'd been warned, he still flinched when the phone started ringing. I mean, how could he not. He was about to talk to
the Peter Parker. Alright, so he might have been lying when he said he didn't know any Parkers. In fact, the infamous 'Peter Parker' was basically all Tony spoke about when he was with him. He was definitely not jealous of that though. Not even a little bit. Reluctantly, he answered the call and pressed the phone against his ear.''Hello?'' he called, maybe way too loudly. Maybe not. Doesn't matter.''Hi? Harley? Harley Keener?''
Harley was definitely surprised. The voice on the other side did not belong to as boy who was 4 months younger than him. In fact, if Tony hadn't told him he was a 16- almost 17- year old teenager, Harley would have mistaken him for a 12 year old.
It was fucking adorable.''New phone who dis'' he blurted out. Great. First time speaking to him and he had already embarrassed himself.''Funny.'' answered the voice on the other side of the line. Harley could practically hear the eyeroll.''I can practically hear the eyeroll.''
''Good. Never has an eyeroll been more destined for someone''''I resent that.''''Whatever. Anyways. Tell me something about you, Harley Keener.''''Well, uhm, I'm 17 and live in Tennessee. I have my mom, Macy Keener, and my sister, Abbie Keener. In fact, she's behind me right now making kissy faces. Shut the fuck up, Abbie. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I fall in desperate and forbidden love with every single heterosexual male I see.''''Please'' Comes Abbie's sarcastic 12 y/o voice from besides him.
What the actual shit is wrong with me. I
literally just admitted I was gay. And why in the seven realms did I tell him about my little sister making
kissy faces? He's probably so grossed out and will never talk to me again. Why can't i do ANYTHING
right-
His unhelpful self-criticism was interrupted by muffled laughter on the other side of the line.''Stop patronising me. I never said I was straight.'' teases the
fucking adorable voice belonging to PETER PARKER.His heart stops beating for a second. ''Are you?''''I don't know if I should tell you. I wouldn't want to make you
keener.''
Oh my god.
''Oh my god. Is that even a word?''''Of course it is, you illiterate fuck.''''language'' came a muffled voice from Peter's side.
''Shut up, Cap, you undeniable hypocrite''''This is homophobia''''Well this is also transphobia and panphobia (AN.
Panphobia as in the fear of pansexuals, not the fear of everything). Square up, sis.'' Came Peter's perky reply.
Oh. So he's transgender. That would explain the squeaky voice. And he's also pansexual. I've always had a thing for pansexuals. God fucking d
AMNIT.
Harley, who had stayed silent during the whole encounter, decided to speak up.''Waaaaaait. Hold up. Cap as in CAPTAIN FRICKING AMERICA?''''Yeah'' he responded sheepishly. ''uhh, about that.''
Harley and Peter spent the next four hours talking. He told him about how Anthony Edward Stark broke into his garage when he was twelve. About how most of the kids here make fun of him because of his sexuality (''bullshit. I will fly myself over there and whoop their asses''. He was a d o r a b l e when he was angry.). About how there was nothing to do here, so he spent his days tinkering with cars, discarded microwaves and useless scrap metals. He even tells him about his dad. Or, rather, the fact that his dad walked out.
Peter told him about how he lives wth his aunt and attends Midtown School of Science and Technology, a ''school for socially privileged and genius minorities'', as he had said. He told him about his best friends MJ and Ned and his bully, Eugene 'Flash' Thompson. He told him about the troubles of being one of the school's resident non-heteros, which consisted mainly of homophobic first-class families (the school, that is). He told him how Tony had found him and offered him an 'internship', and about how they had kind-of-but-not-really grown close and how he now lived in the tower on weekends and when his aunt was away (He was slightly less jealous now. Not that he was jealous at all to begin with.) He then told him his tragic backstory. How both his parents died when he was six, how he saw his uncle get shot in front of him, and how he now lives with his aunt May and sometimes with
Mr. Stark (Oh. My. Fucking. God. He calls him Mr. Stark. COULD HE GET ANY CUTER)
He also told him about Spiderman.Which, happened by accident.When
Mr. Stark (he still didn't believe he called his almost-father that) entered the room and asked who he was talking to and Peter answered ''Harls'' (he definitely didn't blush) Tony groaned and left the room sulking. That was when Peter decided he could
definitely trust him.(Harley may or may not have fanboy-ed a little. Whatever.)''and then- awww man''''What is it?'' questioned Harley.''It's like, 3 am, and i haven't done any school for homework tom- I mean, homework for school tomorrow. This is all your fault, Harley.''Harley smirked and shook his head.'' Well, here in Rose Hill, Tennessee, we're one hour in front of you lazy New Yorkers. Square up, sis.''
''Yeah, well, I would like to be able to get up and actually go to school.''''Only you, Pete, only you.''''Rude. Alright then, I'll call you, uhh, tomorrow? Maybe? Or today, technically. Only if you want to, though. Because, uhh, I wouldn't want to-''Harley interrupted the stuttering mess with a laugh.''Call me whenever you want, Pete''''Oh. Ok then. So, uhh, goodnight? I guess?''''Goodnight, dork''That night, he drifted off into a dreamless sleep with a smile on his face.___
Irondad >>> SpidersonSpiderson- harley is coming overSpiderson- idk when but we already established that he's coming over.Irondad- kid wtf it's almost three amIrondad- sleepSpiderson- that's extremely hypocritical of you to say.Irondad- you have school tomorrowSpiderson- yes well you have life tomorrow and you still don't sleep some getSpiderson- get some shleepSpiderson- slepSpiderson- s l e e pIrondad- that,,,,,,,,, doesn't even make senseSpiderson- life doesn't make senseIrondad- ffs pete sleep or i stg you will never ever get to meet the blue eyed gay disaster that is harley keenerSpiderson- noted___
snek tamer @pparkerit's been established. harley keener is coming to nycd.
judy hopps @actualspideyfanwait hold up didn't you two unofficially meet two days ago
snek tamer @pparkeryour point???????
Tony Stark @TonyStarkgo.to.sleep
snek tamer @pparkerit's free real estate
Nat @actuallyblackwidowgo to sleep, peter
snek tamer @pparkeryes ma'am
Tony Stark @TonyStarkhow the shit
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
snek tamer @pparkerNO. THIS IS BULL. WHAT THE F U C K
Cap @CaptainAmericaLanguage.
snek tamer @pparkerSTFU
Cap @CaptainAmericaThat was just rude and uncalled for.
harley @potatogunkidfor anyone looking for an explanation, we just saw the two percy jackson movies together.
guy in the chair @spideystantogether?
harley @potatogunkidvia skype
MJ @justcallmemjhm
guy in the chair @spideystan
hm indeed
snek tamer @pparkerYOU CALL THAT PERCY JACKSON? THAT IS NOT PERCY JACKSON. THAT IS A BUNCH OF GREEK DEMIGODS GOING ON ADVENTURES. THE MOVIES HAVE LITERALLY N O T H I N G TO DO WITH THE BOOKS. I'M SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED. THIS IS THE W O R S T TIMELINE.
frustrated @angrylesboOMG I KNOW. HAVE YOU SEEN THE DIVERGENT SERIES THOUGH?????? THE DIRECTORS JUST THREW AWAY THE LITTLE FAITH
IN HUMANITY I HAD.
snek tamer @pparkerWHY.ARE.PEOPLE.SO.INACCURATE._____
notaleeder- Ned Leedsmfuckingj- Michelle Jonesharleyqueener- Harley Keenerbeterbarker- Peter Parker
This gc was created solely for the purpose of ranting
harleyqueener- let it all out, petebeterbarker- ALL THE FUCKING ACTORS ARE 20 YEARS OLDbeterbarker- THEY DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE THE 12 Y/O THEY WERE S U P P O S E D TO BE BUT LIKE FUCKING 20 Y/0mfuckingj- go onbeterbarker- THEY DID NOT HAVE THE BATHROOM SCENE. I C A N N O T BELIEVE THEY DIDN'T FILM THE BATHROOM EXPLODING IN CLARISSE'S BULKY BITCH FACE. AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE SCENE WHERE THEY ACT ALL CONFUSED N SHIT AFTER PERCY KILLED THE FUCKING FURY OR WHATEVER.notaleeder- shhhhh it's okbeterbarker-THEY DID NOT FILM THE MONSTER DONUT SCENE. THEY DID NOT FILM THE PINK POODLE SCENE. THE JUMPING OFF OF THE GRAND ARCH SCENE. THE GOING TO THE WATERPARK BECAUSE OF ARES SCENE. THE BED-STRETCHER SCENE.
PERSEPHONE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO KEEP GROVER IN THE UNDERWORLD. THEY DIDN'T EVEN FILM THE FUCKING ICONIC ASS PERCY JACKSON FIGHTING ARES SCENE.beterbarker- A N N A B E T H
I S N ' T
E V E N
B L O N D
beterbarker- thank you for coming to my ted talkharleyqueener- yea i kinda agree with you on that onebeterbarker- god has truly abandoned us.mfuckingj- that's a bit overdramaticbeterbarker- bitch f i t e
m enotaleeder- oooooooohharleyqueener- if i told you something super duper exciting, would your faith in humanity be restoredbeterbarker- unless it's something super extraordinary, such as flash being nice, my parents coming back to life or you flying over here i don't think so noharleyqueener- well...notaleeder- omfg no w a ymfuckingj- really?beterbarker- *gasp*beterbarker- ARE MY PARENTS ALIVEharleyqueener- no you depressive asshatbeterbarker- rudeharleyqueener- i'm coming over next month
harleyqueener- for the rest of the school yearharley queener- and i will be going to midtownmfuckingj-....beterbarker- AUIGDFSHOANLnotaleeder- i think you just gave him a heart attackbeterbarker- i can see colours again___Spiderson>>> IrondadSpiderson- really?Irondad- yesSpiderson- rEALLY??Irondad- yesSpiderson- reALLy'?''????1??11?1??Irondad- kid you have an iq the same hight as mount everest stop typing like you're having an aneurismSpiderson- OMG TY SO MUCH DAD ILY OIQHASJBAOSIFIrondad- ...Spiderson- i- i meanSpiderson- uhmIrondad- you're welcome, son____
best intern ever @actualsiintern>;D
snek tamer @pparker>;D
harley @potatogunkid>;D
Tony Stark @TonyStarkoh god i'm already terrified
sheep @woofwoofi ship it
hannah @notmontana
#parley
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
snek tamer @pparkerO H
M Y
G O D
snek tamer @pparkerMY INNOCENCE. MY PRECIOUS INNOCENCE JUST GOT SNATCHED RIGHT OUT OF MY GRIP.
frustrated @angrylesbowhat happened
snek tamer @pparkerI WALKED IN ON NOT ONE. BUT T W O NEW AVENGER COUPLES
snek tamer @pparkerI NEVER SHOULD HAVE GONE ON THAT TWITTER RANT. NO EGGOS WILL EVER RETRIEVE MY INNOCENCE
Nat @actuallyblackwidowi'm so sorry kid
Scarlet Queen @wandawandanoooo pete forgive me i'm s o r r y ;-;
harley @potatogunkidw a i t
God Of Thunder @sparkywell in my defence young peter we weren't exactly being quiet
green beans @bbannernot. the. time. thor
harley @potatogunkidare you trying to tell my mortal ears that you, peter benjamin parker, walked in on watasha AND thruce?
harley @potatogunkiddamn y'all avengers are n a s t y
Tony Stark @TonyStarknot the time kid
green beans @bbannerhow did that even happen
snek tamer @pparkerwELL WATASHA WEREN'T EXACTLY BEING TOO FUCKING SUBTLE GOING AT IT IN THE TRAINING ROOM'S EQUIPMENT STORAGE CUPBOARD AND THEN I LEFT AND LOCKED MYSELF IN A RANDOM ROOM. WHICH GUESS FUCKING WHAT. IT WAS THE ROOM WHERE THRUCE 'WEREN'T EXACTLY BEING QUIET'. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE DID. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY F U C K I N G DID. THEY JUST LOOKED AT ME. NO 'OH SORRY PETE FOR TAKING AWAY YOUR LAST MOMENTS OF CHILDHOOD'. NOT EVEN A SIMPLE 'SORRY'. NO.
Tony Stark @TonyStarkguys what the shit why did you traumatise my kid
snek tamer @pparkerit's on. every avenger that aren't you heathens vs said heathens. you started this war.
Scarlet Queen @wandawandaoh it's on
Shuri @therealshuriwHeN wiLL yOu LeaRn
snek tamer @pparkertHat yOuR acTioNs hAVe cONsEQuEncES?????1??1
sheep @woofwoofi stan an iconic memelord_______
peetpeet- Peter Parker
blackwindow- Natasha Romanovsmolgreenbean- Bruce Bannertincannot- Tony Starkcapmurica- Steve Rogersmetalarmedgay- James Barnesscarletyeet- Wanda Maximoffcawcawmf- Clint Bartonbirdbutt- Sam Wilsonishurihopeitdoes- Shurisnekysnek- Loki Odinsonsparky- Thor Odinsonuwuowouwu- Wade Wilsondaddylanglegs- Scott Lang
Heroes with a heart
peetpeet- fast five favourite for whoever wants to say: food superhero animal band/singer weatherpeetpeet- pizza tony stark pegapi hamilton soudtrack suntincannot- fettuccine alfredo spidey jellyfish AC/DC rainpeetpeet- rain?tincannot- you people can't bully me to get out of my lab because it's ''beautiful outside'' when it's rainingpeetpeet- i don't know if you are being sarcastic or not and it scares me. are you doing ok?tincannot- don't fucking contradict mesmolgreenbean- mac c cheese thor horses beethoven rainpeetpeet- w h y
d o
y o u
a l l
l i k e
r a i n
s o
m u c hsmolgreenbean- because then i can cuddle with thor in peacesparky- <3smolgreenbean- <33333sparky- <3333333333333333333333333333smolgreenbean- <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333sparky- <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333peetpeet- g e t
o u tsmolgreenbean- n oblackwindow- ben n jerry wanda gazelles fob v v sunpeetpeet- ''v v sun'' -Natasha Romanoff,
internationally known Badass(tm) spypeetpeet- at least you don't like the rain because of some lame ass excuse like getting hot with your gfblackwindow- bitch excuse youblackwindow- i love rain too but i also happen to enjoy seeing wanda in a bikiniscarletyeet- *blush*peetpeet- why did i ever get you people togetherblackwindow- you love uspeetpeet- maybe s oscarletyeet- cluj style cabbage nat giraffe taylor swift mistyblackwindow- <33333peetpeet- i don't know what 'cluj style cabbage' is but it has the word 'cabbage' in it.peetpeet- therefore it is invalidscarletyeet: D,:
peetpeet: also why the shit is your fav animal the giraffe????scarletyeet: stop questioning my lifestyle you're making me uncomfortablecapmurica- apple pie bucky dogs fob sunnyishurihopeitdoes- that is,,,,,,,,, so americandaddylanglegs- yo can i just say mr righteous tries to act all cool and suave but irl he watches totally spies at 3am in the morningcapmurica- t h a t
w a s
c l a s s i f i e d
i n f o r m a t i o n
y o u
a s s h o l eishurihopeitdoes-asdjasid anywaysishurihopeitdoes- can you broken white boys shut your fucks for a sec so that i can answer the questionsnekysnek- notincannot- nocapmurica- noscarletyeet- noblackwindow- nosparky- nouwuowouwu-
ღ(¯`◕‿◕´¯) ♫ ♪ ♫ ₦Ø ♫ ♪ ♫ (¯`◕‿◕´¯)ღmetalarmedgay- nodaddylanglegs- nocawcawmf- nobirdbutt- nopeetpeet- yea go aheadishurihopeitdoes- <3ishurihopeitdoes- ok so uhmishurihopeitdoes- black liquorice spidey
humuhumunukunukuapua heathers and dear evan hansen soundtrack snowpeetpeet- what the fuck shuriblackwindow- is she for realishurihopeitdoes- ???????tincannot- her favourite food is actually black liquorice? she's not just,,,,, fucking with us?ishurihopeitdoes- why???? what's wrong with black liquoricecawcawmf- omgpeetpeet- this is the worst timelinemetalarmedgay- god has truly abandoned usuwuowouwu- yEs riP sTaN LeE pResS 'F' tO paY REspEctScapmurica- who tf is stan leepeetpeet- goddammit wade not again______
beterbarker- harlsbeterbarker- harlsbeterbarker- harlsbeterbarker-harlshrlyknr- w h a tbeterbarker- fast five favouritebeterbarker- food superhero
animal band/singer weatherhrlyknr- is this the reason why you woke me up
beterbarker- yes now answer
hrlyknr- pizza iron man or spidey racoons black keys snowbeterbarker- .....you like spidey?beterbarker- likebeterbarker- actually like him and not just because you're texting him but because you find him cool and interesting and whatnot?hrlyknr- yeah dudebeterbarker- oh ok umbeterbarker- ihavetogoilltextyoulaterbye____snek tamer @pparkeromg i'm so gay it's not even funny
frustrated @angrylesboi ship it
snek tamer @pparkeri blocked him on this twitter acc so he can't see this but i'm so fucking gay for this kid and i haven't even met him i don't know what he looks like s e n d
h e l p
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Crull Danvers @captnmarvl6 years. 6 years I haven't been on earth and the first thing my best friend Maria Rambeau tells me is that I should get a twitter.
Crull Danvers @captnmarvlI KNOW WHAT TWITTER IS MAR. I'M TECHNICALLY ONLY 35.
(AN. I know it's twenty four years from captain marvel till infinity war. i just want to write a nice fic let me live)
I BROUGHT A PHONE WITH ME TO SPACE. I K N O W WHAT'S UP.
sasha @sashglittersasslmao is she for real
Crull Danvers @captnmarvlI don't know, Sasha. Am I?
sasha @sashglittersasso shit she probably is
Nicholas Furry @nickfuryWelcome back, Carol! It's nice to finally see you again.
Nicholas Furry @nickfuryAlso who the shit changed my name.
spidey @sbidermanlmao yeet
Shuri @therealshuriO_O
Nicholas Furry @nickfuryHow do I change it?
spidey @sbidermancrop that and imma crop you
Shuri @therealshuriwhat he said
Nicholas Furry @nickfuryI feel attacked.
Crull Danvers @captnmarvlAnyways. Hi Twitter.
spidey @sbidermanKSJSKSJSKJSKS OMG AM I DREAMING
Crull Danvers @captnmarvlNo, I'm pretty sure you aren't
spidey @sbidermaniS THIS THE ACTUAL CAROL DANVERS CAPTAIN MARVEL SUPERHERO KICKASS FEMALE SUPREME
musica @mramboodlelmao calm down she's actually a huge dork
Crull Danvers @captnmarvlShhhhh Lieutenant Trouble don't expose me.
spidey @sbidermani did my sixth grade research project on you ma'am i am beyond honoured to not actually unofficially meet you through twitter and grandpa eyepatch
Crull Danvers @captnmarvlYou have a grandchild, Fury?
Nicholas Furry @nickfuryYes. Yes, I do.____
beterbarker- hey harlsbeterbarker- hey harlsbeterbarker- hey keenerbeterbarker- harley keenerbeterbarker- babehrlyknr- yeebeterbarker- i don't know how you look likehrlyknr- sohrlyknr- idk how u look like eitherbeterbarker- well my identity is secret for a reasonbeterbarker- now s h o whrlyknr- nobeterbarker- what do i have to do to get you to show me your beautiful facehrlyknr- SKJSKSJKSKJSKSJKS MY FASCE ISNT BAEUTIFLhrlyknr- and you can't do anything i'll never show u my facebeterbarker- pleasehrlyknr- nobeterbarker- i'll do whateverhrlyknr- ...whatever?beterbarker- yeshrlyknr- call me___
beterbarker- nohrlyknr- yOU SAID ANYTHINGbeterbarker- yES BUT-hrlyknr- i'll send you multiple picsbetrbarker- but you don't g e t
i thrlyknr- blease?????????????beterbarker- hnnnnngbeterbarker- fine___
beterbarker- hey flashflash- what do you want penisbeterbarker- so uhm i have a confession to makeflash- are u gonna finally admit you don't work at siflash- nobody believed you from the beginning lmao you're so patheticbeterbarker- no it's not that actuallybeterbarker- i'm actually deeply in love with you. have been since the first day we met. i know you won't return my feelings but i had to get this out of my chest.flash- ew faggot you think i'd ever love youflash- smh you're so disgustingflash- go kill yourself you piece of shitflash- is that how you ''work'' at si? by fucking every employee there? i knew itflash- you have no talent except being a whore. that's why everyone left you ngl___beterbarker- (screenshot of his conversation with flash)hrlyknr- oh my godhrlyknr- oh my fucking god did he actually
hrlyknr- i'mhrlyknr- i'm so sorry peter please i didn't knowbeterbarker- yeah you didn'thrlyknr- ihrlyknr- peter i'm so sorry but listenhrlyknr- you're not disgusting. you're not pathetic. you are the best person i know and don't let anyone say otherwisehrlyknr- so many people love you peter. no one wanted to leave you. you are so so so loved and please never think otherwisebeterbarker- okhrlyknr- please pete i'm so sorrybeterbarker- it's ok. you didn't knowhrlyknr- i shouldn't have forced you i'm so fucking sorryhrlyknr- but i'll make sure he regrets every fucking word he said i promisebeterbarker- thanks ighrlyknr- i'm so sorry___hrlyknr- (screenshot of peter and flash's conversation)hrlyknr- who the fuck do you think you areflash- uhhh lmao who r uhrlyknr- no you don't ask questions herehrlyknr- now fucking answer mehrlyknr- who the fuck do you think you areflash- Eugene 'Flash' Thompson. who are you?? another one of his little boy toys?hrlyknr- you better keep your fucking trap closed before i fly over there and close it for you permanently. you do not want to know how fucking close i am to doing thathrlyknr- i'm harley keener. pretty close to tony starkhrlyknr- and no not because i'm fucking him you worthless piece of shithrlyknr- turns out that kid you're bullying, peter parker soon-to-be stark is way closer to tony starkflash- they finally decided to get marriedflash- tony stark deserves so much better tbhhrlyknr- SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH BEFORE I SHUT IT MYSELFhrlyknr- peter is my friend. no one messes with my fucking friends.hrlyknr- he wanted to see my face and i made the mistake of daring him to tell you thathrlyknr- because let's be honest he's probably the first confession you ever got right?hrlyknr- the first and only kid to ever love you is the gay kid you bully.hrlyknr- that's where you got all your fucking confidence from RIGHT?hrlyknr- just because your parents don't love their mistake of a child doesn't mean you can take it all out on a person who is a hundred times the person you'll always behrlyknr- the only bit of love in your life is from a fake confession. and then you call him pathetichrlyknr- i'm pretty good at engineering and tony stark is betterhrlyknr- when i tell him what you said to his future son you should be expecting more than a bullet in you foreheadflash- you wouldn't tell tony starkhrlyknr- oh yeah?
hrlyknr- watch me___
hrlyknr- (screenshot of peter's conversation with flash)hrlyknr- it's all my fault i dared him to do it he doesn't actually like him and i'm so sorry but please do something about thistonystank- Harley what is thishrlyknr- it's thishrlyknr- asshole that's been bullying peterhrlyknr- this is all my fault i'm so sorrytonystank- hey it's ok it wasn't your faulttonystank- i'll deal with ittonystank- give him hell, harlshrlyknr- always___
harley @potatogunkid(screenshot of peter's conversation with flash)give him hell y'all (by the way this was a dare even peter has higher standards)
>>Shuri @therealshuri
i mean i did warn him
>>>>MJ @justcallmemj
lmao flash is so dead
>>flash @spiderfan
you can't do that!!!
>>>>harley @potatogunkid
can't i?
>>Nat @actuallyblackwidow
not this brat again
>>>>Scarlet Queen @wandawanda
sis did what now
>>Loki @snektickler
i will kill him then drag him back from the fiery depths of hel to torture him slowly and painfully until he is begging for me to let him feel the sweet release of death
>>>>God Of Thunder @sparky
rt
>>>>green beans @bbanner
rt
>>>> mr righteous @stoverogers
rt
>>>> cant stop won't stop @valerieval
rt
>>>>Crull Danvers @captnmarvl
rt
>>>>sasha @sashglittersass
rt
>>>>caw caw mf @birdass
rt
>>>>sam wilson @birdshit
rt
>>>>bucket @bucketbornes
rt___hrlyknr- (selfie with his sister)hrlyknr- (pic of him working on a car)hrlyknr- (him making breakfast and grinning)hrlyknr- i'm really really really sorrybeterbarker- that,,,,,, that's you????hrlyknr- haha yeahbeterbarker- thatbeterbarker- that is y o u?hrlyknr- yea ok i get itbeterbarker- what the fuckbeterbarker- i,,,,, need a drinkhrlyknr- ???beterbarker- holy shit i'm so grey :'D___tonystank- eugene thompsonflash- uhm,,,,, who is this?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
deadpp @waterofdeathheeeeeenlo readers! i'm here to talk to you because the author is setting me up to do her dirty work again. don't look at me like that, you know it's true. a n y w a y s, she wanted to say 1) that she's terribly sorry for not updating and 2) she's gonna change some of the character's twitter names because she doesn't like them and she's too lazy to come up with a story as to why they changed it.
tony stank @tstankwade what the fuck
tony stank @tstanki'm pretty sure that wasn't my name before
stove @capsicleLanguage!
stove @capsiclewait what the diddly darn
on my left @falcassyou did not just say diddly darn on a public social media platform where people can associate me to you_____big pp @beterbarkeri can se neew colrss
big pp @beterbarkeroMg!!!¨¨!1!!!!!!! Tgasgss a iRon dad fLYIING
big pp@beterbarker@tstank uRRRerrr flIYINgG¨¨¨!!! mSr sTorkKKkk!!!!! fATttHERr
tony stank @tstankwho gave this kid weed
big pp @beterbarkerhAArLEyyyyyyyyyyy i liEok yRRe eYes
big pp @beterbarkertHeyrr so,,,,,,,, bluUU en PrETti aNd i
harley @awesomesexybeastim,,,,,,,,, thanks???
>Abbie @abbiekhe's blushing.
>>harley @awesomesexybeastabbie you're too young to have twitter i'm telling mom
>>>Abbie @abbiekif you tell i tell
>>>>harley @awesomesexybeastyou wouldn't
>>>>>tony stank @tstanktell what
>>>>>>Abbie @abbiek:^)
FRIDAY @fridayPeter has drank his fifteenth pouch of Caprisun. I would advise @tstank to come rescue Mr. Parker before they break something.
tony stank @tstankI'm on my way.
mmMmm fuck you @mjonesPeter has always had an unhealthy addiction to Caprisun. His current record is 43 pouches.
tony stank @tstankI feel like I should stop this but I really don't want to tbh.
i'm multitasking @leblackwidowonce, after his twentieth pouch, he got on the roofs of stark tower and started dancing along to every hamilton song from the soundtrack on the ledge.
>yee-raw me @wandahoeway to call beter out babe :((((
mmMmm fuck you @mjonesOnce Peter drinks his thirtieth pouch his eyes roll back and his limbs start bending in inhumane positions and he looks like fucking antichrist.
>on my left @falcassi can see him
>> on my left @falcassaint nobody got time for that i'm not looking to get skinned alive for my sins thankyouverymuch
>>>big pp @beterbarker
.
.
i̸̧̧͕̤̖̰͚̅́̒̇̚͜͝ c̴̡̛̛͎̯̩͖͙̻̩̆̔̀͗̓͌͡͝ą̨͙̠͖̲̟͇̒̏͛̽̊͛͡͝͝n̼̰͈͎̲̦̼̐̉̊́̑̈̚͟͢ s͎͉̠̩̣̤͎̣̽̈̉͊̒̈̎́e̯͉̪̪̪͆͆͆͌̌́̃̂̚̕ẻ̸͍̳̻̹͇͉̺̩͐͂̐̆̕͢͡͡ ṱ̶̨̹̻̯̟̥̬͙̏͋̇̈́́̈́͂̚͝͞ḧ̘͍͍͕̳̟͙͔͖͑͑̆͂̏͊͡ͅe͇͔̜̯͎̿͑̀̾́̓̃̕͡͠ w̢̘̗̗̮̪̥̄̏̊͑͡e̬̖̬̹̱̭̬͖͖͛̿̿͐̇i̸̥͈̗̯̳͛̍̐̈͗̎͌̀̚ͅg̨̹͕͕͉͂͌͂͋̅͌͗̀̕ḣ̵̢͔̮͚̎̅͌̄͜͡t̵̰͈͙̹͉̝̎̄̉̈̊̀ ȯ̠̟͕̥̮̮͉͕͈̊̎͌̇̚f̵̡̛̝̮͎̲̱͖͚́̄̿̕ ỷ̢̧̙̩̥͖̗̥̙͚̇̂̃͊͑͝͞o̡̟̹̞̻̙̬͑̆͊̐̏̿͋͠͝ͅũ̸̺̻͕̮͔̫͌̇̃̒͐͆͒̅͞ͅŗ͔͍͓̱̆̈́̈̓͛̀́̽̈́͟͡ ś̸̛͓̝͕̞̠̯̗̭͙͒͆́̍͊͛͟ĩ̡̨̛̫̪͙̫͉̗̳̎͗͛̎̌͠ñ̶̰̤͙͔̼̿̅̓͠s̴̭̯̺͎͍̺͎̝̀̍͆̐̋͑̑̚͟
.
.
>>>>on my left @falcassahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaahahahahahahahwhatthefuck
gay in the chair @nedledhe tried to do a backflip off of the eiffel tower when high on caprisuns
god of thunder @sparkyi once tried to steal one (1) juice pouch and he very nearly clawed my eyes out
>me angery @biggreenTo be honest, love, you had it coming.
tony stank @tstankalright that's it no more demon juice for you
big pp @beterbarkeryou cnAANt tELllL mE what tO DOo you're nOt mY dadDD,,, yOu ALwAYss waNn hErR SOMthhiNN uGLy assS fuKKn nOOdLL hEDd
tony stank @tstanki would take that to heart if you weren't high and possessed
bucket @bbornes''You're not my dad'' -Peter Parker to Tony Stark
loki @parseltonguepress x to doubt
clit @thebetterbirdx
harley @awesomesexybeastx
Abbie @abbiekX
i'm multitasking @leblackwidowx
on my left @falcassx
mother @dragonqueenx
cindy @moonmoonx
tulip @hornytensiax
notice me thor @biggayx
rhodey @jrhodesx
pepper @virginiastarkx
mmMmm fuck you @mjonesx
shuri @vinedaddyx
big pp @beterbarkery'all are traitors and i'm not inviting you to my birthday party
>harley @awesomesexybeastoh ok so when i do it it's ironic
but when you do it it's fucking original. i see how it is
>>Abbie @abbiekit be like that sometimes
i'm multitasking @leblackwidowwait yeeter no
shuri @vinedaddy🅱eter 🅱lease
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
big pp @beterbarkermaking my way downtown, swinging fast
chloe @chloephile'swinging fast' that's a new one
deez nuts @ahagottiesound like something spidey would say tbh
big pp @beterbarkerpfffft nooooo. he would never say that, ever. because me and him are a completely different person. nothing in common.
tony stank @tstankKid...___
Spiderson >>> Irondad
Irondad- Kid what the fuck.Spiderson- what???? what did i do?????Irondad- You basically almost revealed your secret identity to everyone!!!! That was so indiscreet.Irondad- Anyways I need you to find a way to make people
think you're not
spidey.Spiderson- and how exactly am i supposed to do that??????Irondad- I don't know, kid. You're a genius. Figure something out. I'm going away on a business trip for the whole of tomorrow and when I come back everything better be fixed, because otherwise the PR department plus Pepper will have my head.Irondad- And I'm sure you wouldn't want your father dearest to get decapitated.Spiderson- i know just the way to do thatIrondad- Alright then. I'm about to board. I'm trusting you, kid.Spiderson- yes, dadIrondad- I-Spiderson- :))))___big pp @beterbarkerthis just in spiderman is overrated
guy in the chair @nedledpeter what are you doing
big pp @beterbarkerit's true though. like sure he helps old ladies down the road and rescues kittens from trees but when you get to meet him in person he's a little bitch
>spider can @sbidermanthe fuck u just say to me
>>big pp @beterbarkeri
said that you're overrated you undergrown carrot
>>>spider can @sbidermanlmao you're just jealous because tony likes me more than he likes you
>>>>big pp @beterbarkerpfft you wish i don't see you calling him dad
>>>>>spider can @beterbarker
that's because i don't want you to see me. i try to be around your dumbass as little as physically possible
chloe @chloephilewait. hold on a diddly darnedest second. peter parker calls tony 'i am iron man' stark d a d???
big pp @beterbarkeryeah B) that's because he likes having me around unlike s o m e o n e i know 👀👀
spider can @sbidermanyou talking shit about me and you don't even have the courage to @ me you bent spoon
big pp @beterbarkeryou're calling me a bent spoon when you're the one who could choke elastic girl with their thighs
spider can @sbidermanis that supposed to be an insult or?????
big pp @beterbarkeri'm running on five cans of red bull and spite i haven't slept in the past three days leave me alone before i make you eat your hands
mmMmm fuck you @mjonesspidey powers or not, no one escapes peter's wrath.
shuri @vinedaddyyou better watch out. you better watch out. you bETTER WATCH OUT!!!
harley @awesomesexybeastpeter, love,
what in the name of everything holy are you doing
big pp @beterbarkeri don't know what you mean what are you insinuating
shuri @vinedaddy👀
mmMmm fuck you @mjones👀
guy in the chair @nedled👀
harley @awesomesexybeast👀
i'm multitasking @leblackwidow👀
big pp @beterbarkerdamn even you nat :(((___
beterbarker >>> hrlyknr
hrlyknr- no but seriously parker what are you doingbeterbarker- dad told me to make people believe i'm not spiderman.beterbarker- and this is obviously the only way to do so.hrlyknr- ok 1) dad???? and 2) or you could,,,,, just,,,,, you know,,,,,hrlyknr- not interact with other you online?beterbarker- 1) oui 2) ew my god nobeterbarker- i hate normies smh
hrlyknr- who the fuck u calling a normiebeterbarker- youhrlyknr- excusez moi quoi de la fuck___
tony stank @tstankJfc kid i let you take care of one thing. One. Damn. Thing. And this happens.
spider can @sbidermanhe started it!!!!!
big pp @beterbarker:((((( snitch
tony stank @tstank@beterbarker you're grounded
spider can @sbidermanhA
tony stank @tstank@sbiderman you're grounded too.
spider can @sbiderman
what why what did i do??????
tony stank @tstank👀
mother @dragonqueentony stark is such a #irondad we stan
notice me thor @biggaytony stark being an #irondad watered my crops and cleared my skin thank you
Abbie @abbiekoh wow #irondad is already trending
tony stank @tstankYou all are PR nightmares.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
big pp @beterbarkeralrighty superhoes where the fuck is my nintendo ds
chloe @chloephilepeter calling them superhoes is my new aesthetic (A/N. i feel like i read this somewhere, if this is your quote i'm s o r r y for stealing it)
tony stank @tstankWhat? That old broken disgustingly filthy thing you call a nintendo?
i'm multitasking @leblackwidowis that a confession
👀
tony stank @tstankGod no.
tony stank @tstankNot even I am that suicidal
harley @awesomesexybeasti wonder. who took. your nintendo.
big pp @beterbarkerif you know something i don't know your yeehaw ass better tell me or i'll yeesaw you before you yeeknow it
>yee-raw me @wandahoesomeone called
harley @awesomesexybeast*nervously sweats in gay*
spider can @sbidermanwhat's popping logang
😎
big pp @beterbarkeryou spider bitch. it was you wasn't it.
on my left @falcassoh no not this shit again
spider can @sbidermani don't see what you're talking about you broken chair
big pp @beterbarkerwhere the fuck did you web my nintendo you mouldy piece of lettuce
spider can @sbidermani diDNT WEB YOUR NINTENDO ANYWHERE
spider can @sbidermanno tea no shade but i'd rather commit death-pacito than touch anything belonging to you
big pp @beterbarkerdON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT
spider can @sbidermanYOUR BATH WATER TASTES BAD
big pp @beterbarkerYOUR TOAST IS STALE
spider can @sbidermani'm about to say it
harley @awesomesexybeastoh god oh fuck
spider can @sbidermani'M ABT TO FUCKING SAY IT-
mmMmm fuck you @mjonesi think it's safe to say we're all a little afraid here
big pp @beterbarkersticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
😎
spider can @sbidermanyour mom downloaded mastercraft instead of minecraft
big pp @beterbarkeryou take that back you fUCKING TAKE THAT BACK-
shuri @vinedaddyliterally every gen z: -gAsP dRamAtiCaLLy-
gay in the chair @nedleddISHONOUR ON YOU DISHONOUR ON YOUR FAMILY DISHONOUR ON YOUR COW
spider can @sbidermanomg bro i'm so sorry bro that was too far bro😔
big pp @beterbarkershhh it's ok bro i forgive you bro😔💕
spider can @sbidermanbro😔💕💛💜💕💕💙💚💕💜💕💘
big pp @beterbarkerbut i still hate you bro👺
spider can @sbidermanyea bro i gotchu🙊
chloe @chloephilei take back what i said earlier. whatever in the name of everything holy happened ^^up there^^ is my new aesthetic___
big pp @beterbarkerhour one without my nintendo: i don't feel so good
deez nuts @ahagottiewe believe in you peter__
big pp @beterbarkerhour three without my nintendo: ned has never looked more appetising
gay in the chair @nedledpeter you're a literal town away from me
big pp @beterbarkeram i really though
gay in the chair @nedledo-oh?
gay in the chair @nedled
wait peter is that youdijoafsnwea
mother @dragonqueenpete got to him before he could finish typing___
big pp @beterbarkerhour six without my nintendo: i met a unicorn. his name was charlie. we played hide and seek.
stove @capsicleI think????? That this?????? Has become?????? A matter??????? Of slight concern?????????
big pp @beterbarkerhe also fed me captn crunch
big pp @beterbarkerthe milk that was in the red cabinet tasted a bit weird though
may @mayparkerPeter that's the dish soap and bleach cabinet
big pp @beterbarkeri'm starting to feel like harry potter
big pp @beterbarkeralakazam sleep is a scam
big pp @beterbarker
did it work
harley @awesomesexybeasti don't think so love
big pp @beterbarkerimma need more of that magic juice
tony stank @tstanki'm on my way
bucket @borneswhen tony is so stressed he forgets to capitalise his tweets, you know Shit just got Real___
tony stank @tstankHis nintendo was under his fucking bed.
big pp @beterbarkerthank you so much dad!!!!!!! i have my nintendo back now!!!!!! i love you lots!!!!!!!!!
salt n pepper @VirginiaPottsstop making my fiancé cry i need him for our wedding
big pp @beterbarkeri'm sorry pep :(
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Hey everyone, sbiderwoman here.
I'm sorry to say that this is not an actual update, just a rant since I have nowhere else to post this on.
I've been thinking of this for a long time but the inspiration came in english class when we were
reviewing a persuasive article written by a famous model.
The topic was girls. Or, more specifically, what girls are expected to be.
Nowadays society has raised beauty
standards incredibly high. Everyone views blue eyed blondies who's waists are smaller than their heads as the epitome of perfection. I'm not saying that they're ugly, I'm saying that they're not perfect. No one is. Just because a small amount of the human population has golden locks and a slim figure, doesn't mean they should be an example of what to be. Tons of girls will wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, stare at their stunning hazel eyes, or their curly dark brown hair, or their freckles and wish they were someone else. Not only is it exhausting to think that way, but it's also dangerous to try and change in order to fit in.
They will slowly start to dislike themselves, which will lead to trying harder. As long as you don't look perfect in the eyes of
your friends, or peers, you're not satisfied, which makes you dislike yourself even more. It's a vicious cycle, really.
Everyone
in the 21st century take pride in being skinny.
Almost all of the models you will see on magazines will have teeny tiny waists. No matter how strong, intelligent, talented or funny you are, you will always be judged off of your looks.
Personally, I'm above the average weight for my age. All of my friends are extremely skinny, and however much I try not to feel
insecure, I still do. Whenever I look at any model, I can't help but feel ashamed of my body.
The worst part about people trying to look like the people in Vogue, is that they're not even real people. Not only do the models have tons of make up, put on by professional artists, but once the pictures are taken, they are retouched most of the time. The editors will make the model's waist even thinner, her eyes bigger, her skin smoother. The people on magazines aren't real people. They're paintings, modifications of an actual human. No matter how hard you try, you'll never look like them. Not because you're not pretty, or because
you're not good enough, but because it's physically impossible to look like them.
Whenever you walk into a small newspaper shop, most magazines will have
obscene stories about how some women lost 20 kilos in a week by
completely starving themselves, or about how they finally got respected after they became skinny. It's not often you will see a woman writing about how they conquered an
illness, or how they made it through their rough childhood.
One of the most beautiful women ever is Marilyn Monroe. In all her pictures, she looks gorgeous, even if she's not skinny. By today's
standards, she would be
considered fat, which is obscene, as she is of normal size.
Anyways. What i meant was that, no matter your hair
colour, skin
colour, eye
color, size, weight, height or clothing choice, you are beautiful.
And you deserve to know it.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
yes-raw me @wandahoealright ya'll just a warning peter is extremely pissed for some reason so please don't say anything that might trigger another rant
on my left @falcasshe already had three and that was before drinking his coffee
lara g @larvamay i ask what said rants were about
stove @capsicleOne was about gender equality, the second was about the bathroom's flickering lights, and the third one about how baboons are definitely gay because ' their behind is huge, there's no way they aren't attracted to other male baboons with huge bums'.
stove @capsicleOnly he didn't exactly use those words.
katie @shutthefuckupcan we all agree that peter is the single most wholesome thing ever
salt n pepper @VirginiaPottsHe really is.___guyinthechair- Ned Leedsmjhatesyou- Michelle Jonesshuriken- Shurimercwithamouth- Wade Wilsonarachnopwr- Peter Parker
Super Duper Child Prodigies and a mercenary
arachnopwr- what did i do to deserve thisarachnopwr- i am DISGUSTED i am REVOLTEDarachnopwr- i dedicated my whole life to our lord and saviour jesus christ and tHIS IS THE THANKS I GETshuriken- aren't you atheistarachnopwr- 'tis a sad day when your friend calls you out on your bullshitguyinthechair- you have a boyfriend go rant to him
arachnopwr added Harley Keener to the chat
arachnowr- and hARLEY'S NOT MY BOYFRIENDarachnopwr- I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIENDHarley Keener- does that mean i still stand a chancemjhatesyou- i think you broke himarachnopwr- i'm back and better than everarachnopwr- ya'll garden hoes aren't gonna get rid of me that easilymercwithamouth- ding dong your opinion is wrongshuriken- aw manarachnopwr- >:0mercwithamouth- anyways are you going to tell us what happened or-arachnopwr- i am an imbecilearachnopwr- a complete and utter buffoonarachnopwr- i mixed my red shirts with my white shirtsguyinthechair- again?????Harley Keener- this has happened before why am i not at all surprisedguyinthechair- tbh you look kinda good with pink nglarachnopwr- wow bro thank you bro <3
mjhatesyou changed guyinthechair's name to gay in the chair
gay in the chair- wow reallygay in the chair- i am DISGUSTED i am REVOLTED i dedicate my life to our lord and saviour jesus christ and this is the thanks i getshuriken- peter already used that one you mouldy donutarachnopwr- i also cut my own hair off because i lack impulse controlmercwithamouth- fuck yeah baby boymjhatesyou- send picsarachnopwr-nogay in the chair- please peter?arachnopwr- nononononononononononononnOHarley Keener- please????arachnopwr- ,,,finemjhatesyou- oh wow ok i see how it is
mjhatesyou changed Harley Keener's name to peter's favourite
mjhates you changed
archngopwr's name to betrayal
mercwithamouth- it just be like that sometimesbetrayal- [pictures.exe]betrayal- if any of you fuckers say anything about my haircut I will murder you in cold blood. do I know what that means? no. why do I use it? because it sounds rad as fuck.peter's favourite- you don't even look that badmercwithamouth- what pretty boy saidpeter's favourite- you look kinda cutebetrayal- skjsddksjkgay in the chair- he just threw himself off the balconypeter's favourite- alright i actually don't know who you fuckers are so how about you tell me before i call the police on peter for child endangerment
shuriken- sweetie you live in alabama what the fuck u gonna dopeter's favourite- rose hill, tennessee, actually.shuriken- i'm shuri, by the way, but you can call me badass bitch or mistresspeter's favourite- that's hella kinky i love itmjhatesyou- stop trying to steal my girlfriendpeter's favourite- sorry mjmjhatesyou- i think i'll find it in myself to forgive you just this once.gay in the chair- what about the whole 'only my friends call me mj' spielmjhatesyou- he is a friendgay in the chair-,,,,,, wowgay in the chair- i am: Betrayedgay in the chair- it took me and peter mONTHS TO EARN THAT RIGHT
mjhatesyou- your pointgay in the chair- my name is ned and i don't like youpeter's favourite- yea well the joke's on you you'll never not like me as much as i hate myselfgay in the chair- i changed my mind i love you and i shall protect you with my lifemercwithamouth- my name is wade and i love everyonebetrayal- wow i jump off the balcony and 1) no one bothers to look after me to see if i'm ok 2) you all have replaced me with harley during the ten minutes in which i've been gone and 3)how is harley supposed to become my boyfriend if y'all keep stealing him away from megay in the chair- don't let that fool you deep down you're still everyone's favouritepeter's favourite- and what's that i hear about me being your boyfriendbetrayal- i am Suddenly jared, 19peter's favourite- peter answer my questionshuriken- he's too much of a coward
betrayal- you didn't seem to think that when you had chicken ramen noodles up your asspeter's favourite- does that mean you'll answer my question????betrayal- oh wow would you look at the time gotta blastshuriken- blocked.___harley <3- a week and i'll be over therepetey <3- just a weekharley <3- a weekpetey <3- i can't wait :)
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
AcaDoku Fam
peterparkour
changed peterparkour's name to
stronk
stronk changed
needleed's name to geek.io
stronk
changed fasterthansanic's boneless weank
stronk
changed abeabeabe's name to prickly (l)oaf
stronk
changed salsaconqueso's name to soup
stronk changed
mj's name to mistress teresa
stronk
added Seymour to the chat
stronk changed Seymour's name to simbaHoe
stronk
added Jason to the chat
stronk changed Jason's name to sporky
stronk
added Betty to the chat
stronk changed Betty's name to tally hoe
stronk- lmao 420 blaze itboneless weank- on a scale of 1 to 10 how high is he rnstronk- uhhhhh prolly a solid 3.14sporky- i love how you walk in on y'all practicing and you gays are serious af but then peter pulls this shit and adds me to this chat and i just-stronk- wELCOME TRAVELERSstronk- to our hUMBLE ABODE make yourself at home we have the closeted gays (tm) on your left and the vegan hippies (tm) on your rightstronk- don't forget the insane sociopaths (tm) they're always behind you bcs they want to creep up on you and slit your throattally hoe- peter benjamin parkertally hoe- what the f u c kstronk- tally hoe tally hoe and uP THE HILLS WE GOtally hoe- i'm,,,,,mistress teresa- it's 4:21 peter ffs go to sleep
stronk-
no you can't tell me what to domistress teresa- excusez moistronk- oh god oh fuck i'm sorry i defied your direct orders mistress teresa blease don't hurt me ill go to sleepmistress teresa-
damn straightsimbaHoe- did you just accuse peter of being straightmistress teresa- just,,,,, go to sleep before i make yousimbaHoe- yes ma'am___stronk- let's get this bread fam✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*( ͡ꈍ ͜ʖ̫ ͡ꈍ )*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧soup- let's yeet this wheatstronk- hey this is 911 we'd like to know your locationprickly (l)oaf- why did you change my name to thisstronk- ok so remember that one time when we went to that farm and you saw that piece of wood and thought it was breadstronk- and you just picked it up and got blisters in your handstronk- so yeah prickly because blisters and (l)oaf because bread and you're a dumbassprickly (l)oaf- ok rudesoup- what about my name i don't get itstronk- just because you spilt your fucking soup on me sallymoon moon- who knew peter b parker was a petty little bitchgeek.io- literally everyonegeek.io- like this one time i said i preferred captain america over iron man and he justgeek.io- picked up my english assignmentgeek.io- which i had taken tHREE DAYS TO FINISH mind yougeek.io- crumpled it up and fucking ate itstronk- in my defence the whole essay was literally about how great cap wasstronk- we can't have you spread all that slander now could wesimbaHoe- what do you have against captain america thoughstronk- i don't have anything against him, per semistress teresa- hmtally hoe- hmsporky- hmgeek.io- hmmoon moon- hmboneless weank- hmprickly loaf- hmsoup- hmMr Harrington sir- hmstronk- oh wow mr harrington this is favouritism
simbaHoe- whoa that's i l l e g a lstronk- yeah i'm gonna have to call the policemoon moon- i sometimes forget that we have a teacher in this chatMr Harrington sir- The only reason why I'm in this chat is to make sure you guys don't secretly plan a mass school shooting.stronk- oh no mr harrington don't worry
boneless weank- no we have the other chat for thatMr Harrington sir- What.stronk- whoa that's illegal t o oMr Harrington sir- I need a drink.stronk- mY PIZZA HASN'T ARRIVED YET AND I ORDERED IT HALF AN HOUR AGOsoup- why are you ordering pizza at 7 am in the morningstronk- i dunno why did you spill soup on mestronk- sTOP IT I'M NOT EVEN SORRY FOR YOU I'M SORRY FOR THE SOUPsoup- that looked like a hella good soupsimbaHoe- the soup was a greenish brown
simbaHoe-the only way your soup would look good would be in the trashboneless weank- which it was, in a waystronk- you're so meen to me :(mistress teresa- your pizza isn't arriving because it's 7 am in the morningstronk- blasphemyboneless weank- also why is my name boneless weankstronk- because you're wEAKboneless weank- is this because i refused to binge watch all the star war movies with youstronk- maybe soboneless weank- it would take 22 hours and 40 minutes to watch all of them
stronk- sleep is for the weak
stronk- and because of this meme i founderino:stronk-
https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1333663-skeletonsboneless weank- yeah well unlike some people eyes emoji eyes emoji i don't stay up for hours straights looking at memesmoon moon- gASP
prickly (l)oaf- who do you tAKE him for
sporky- yeah he obviously stays up for hours straight watching vines
stronk- as much as i appreciate the vote of confidence i don't think this is helping muchgeek.io- i don't think it was meant tosoup- and i oop-stronk- oh wow everyone hates me guess i'll just
stronk- jump off of stark towermoon moon- no pete don't do thatmoon moon- don't joke around with that it's not funnymoon moon- imagine the bad publicity it'll give SI
a̶̛̘̼̰̰̲̓̓͌́̾͠ͅͅȗ̸̺͕̤̂̅͛t̷̥̀ḫ̶̛̤̹̘̤͛͋͊ȏ̸̯͍̤͖̼͂̾͛̅r̵͎̻̤͖̎̇
added tony fucking stark to the chat
tony fucking stark- i heard something about a certain peter benjamin parker wanting to jump off of my towerstronk- mr stark notony fucking stark- if you try to kill yourself i will find your soul in the deepest cycle of hell and haul your ass back to the land of the living by the eartony fucking stark- understood misterstronk- over my cold dead bodytony fucking stark- bold of you to assume i'm ever letting you dietony fucking stark- same goes for all of you, if you ever feel like killing yourself, call the suicide prevention hotline, etc
tony fucking stark left the chat
stronk- i will skewer himprickly (l)oaf- so,,,,,,,, that just happenedgeek.io- he's such an irondadstronk- ned no not againprickly (l)oaf- irondadmistress teresa- irondadsoup- irondadmoon moon- irondadsimbaHoe- irondadsporky- irondadboneless weank- irondadtally hoe- irondad
stronk changed
geek.io's name to traitor
traitor- worth it___tally hoe- so are we going to just ignore how some creepy dude named author added tony stark in our group chat or????a̶̛̘̼̰̰̲̓̓͌́̾͠ͅͅȗ̸̺͕̤̂̅͛t̷̥̀ḫ̶̛̤̹̘̤͛͋͊ȏ̸̯͍̤͖̼͂̾͛̅r̵͎̻̤͖̎̇- yEs wE arEtally hoe- oH OK ALRIGHT THEN NO PROBLEM AUTHOR PERSON MA'AM SIR AHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
peetpeet- Peter Parker (enters gc later)blackwindow- Natasha Romanovsmolgreenbean- Bruce Bannertincannot- Tony Starkcapmurica- Steve Rogersmetalarmedgay- James Barnesscarletyeet- Wanda Maximoffcawcawmf- Clint Bartonbirdbutt- Sam Wilsonishurihopeitdoes- Shurisnekysnek- Loki Laufeysonsparky- Thor Odinsonuwuowouwu- Wade Wilsondaddylanglegs- Scott Langjust stick to the cards- James Rhodes
Heroes with a heart
peetpeet changed
blackwindow's name to i can't believe you've done this
i can't believe you've done this- what did i do??????peetpeet- my whole life has been a lie
i can't believe you've done this changed peetpeet's name to dramatic bitch
dramatic bitch- uHM EXCUSE YOU I AM NOT A DRAMATIC BITCHscarletyeet- i mean,,,,,,dramatic bitch- nO YOU WOULD REACT THE SAME IF YOU KNEWi can't believe you've done this- knew whatdramatic bitch- aBOUT BUDAPESTcawcawmf- Oh my fuck no he found out.tincannot- tell us what happened or i'm removing your lab privilegesi can't believe you've done this- don't you fucking daredramatic bitch- sorry mr stark but i'd like to stay alive until season two of umbrella academy comes outtincannot- tell me or i'm taking away your suitdramatic bitch- cause that worked fine last timedaddylanglegs- hashtag irondadtincannot- fine then,,,, nO HARLEY UNLESS YOU TELL MEdramatic bitch- wAIT NO BLEASEishurihopeitdoes- oh shit he got you theremetalarmedgay- I will have to ask you gays if you can stop swearing because Mr Fine Ass over there finna bust a nerve.
tincannot renamed metalarmedgay to barbie wannabe
tincannot- you know it's true
barbie wannabe- i :)) will :)) skin :)) you :)) alive :))tincannot- well fuck me gently with a chainsawsnekysnek- did Tony 'AC/DC Hardcore Fan' Stark just make a Heathers ref or is death finally claiming mesnekysnek- because if she is i'd like to thank her this is the proudest moment of my careersnekysnek- i can finally die happy :'''')smolgreenbean- Aren't you 17 years old in human years?snekysnek- details.tincannot- so will you tell us or do i show harley my 'peter singing disney songs in the shower' collection?dramatic bitch- you wouldn'ttincannot- bet.
harley<3
> petey <3
petey <3- in order to avoid a terminal case of embarrassment i am forced to spill the tea on nat and clintpetey <3- if i'm dead i'd like you to know it's nat and tony's faultharley <3- bold of you to assume i'm letting you diepetey <3- stop itpetey <3- stop being cuteharley <3- no<33333petey <3- akjsjksadksajlaskdlsakld
Heroes with a Heart
dramatic bitch- sorry nat please kill me quicklyi can't believe you've done this- peter you dICKdramatic bitch- nothing ever happened in budapestdramatic bitch- they say it like it's some big secret but they're secretly fucking with usdramatic bitch- now for my will and testament i give my everything to my four friends ned shuri harley and mjdramatic bitch- i pass spiderman onto miles morales, a smol middle schooler whom i tutor and love very muchdramatic bitch- if i don't live to see another day tell harley keener that i'm sorry i couldn't meet him in person because let me tell you he is one fine piece of assdramatic bitch- on second thought only tell him the first part
dramatic bitch- i would also like to say that anthony stark is a little piece of shit and he's the reason why i dieddramatic bitch- goodbye cruel worjewihu910r8efh2bqioiju9 42m¨pobirdbutt- how the fuck does he type so fastcawcawmf- nat got to him before he could finishsmolgreenbean- you fuckers did you actuallydaddylanglegs- i,,,, need to sit downuwuowouwu- i'd like to say i saw it coming but even the author hadn't thought about the possibility until this morningbarbie wannabe- fuck you clint sam's my new second favouritetincannot- cap's the firstbarbie wannabe- pfft no peter istincannot- wait i just saw the thingtincannot- guys what the actual fucktincannot- i'm this fucking close to kicking you out of my towercapmurica- fUCKING LANGUAGEishurihopeitdoes- oof sister snapped
dramatic bitch
renamed capmurica to sister sMAPPED
ishurihopeitdoes- i should have left you on that street corner where you were standingdramatic bitch- but you dIDN'Tsnekysnek- aw man he's alivei can't believe you've done this- not for longsparky- I wasn't aware we had another resident in your tower, Man of Iron!sister sMAPPED- We don't????sparky- That is indeed bizarre. I could have sworn I heard a young girl screech in the vicinity.just stick to the cards- that was tonytincannot- yeah well what would you do if you saw a master assassin threatening your sonjust stick to the cards- son ehtincannot- i came out to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right nowcawcawmf- who the fuck taught him thatscarletyeet- did he just-snekysnek- my wig: fucking snatchedishurihopeitdoes- unsubscribe
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
big pp @beterbarkerDING DONG IT'S PRIDE MONTH MOTHERFLUFFERS TIME TO OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE AND BE GAY AND CUTE AND DISGUSTING ON MAIN WHOOP WHOOP
harley @awesomesexybeasti'd like to snatch this occasion to tell you all that i am extremely gay for @beterbarker
>big pp @beterbarker
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
gay in the chair @nedledi really felt that gay panic
__sally @lafayettecindy @moonmoon will you be my girlf riend
sailor @moonmoonomg yes i will be your girlf riend
big pp @beterbarker*snif snif* is that a bE MORE CHILL REF i sMELL????
abraham @(crack)er*rings bell* that is correct
big pp @beterbarkergod hasn't abandoned this timeline after all
salty peppery @ppottsi was summoned
big pp @beterbarker@ppotts IASJDKJASKDJKSJASHJIAKAD
mj @dumbgaybitch@beterbarker @ppotts i mean she's not wrong?
salty peppery @ppotts
thank you michelle
big pp @beterbarkertwo of the most powerful women in the universe teamed up oh my god no
may @maypthey're not alone
crull danvers @cptnmrvlwe joined forces long ago
i'm multitasking @leblackwidowwe have an official group chat
okoyeah @badassbitchour first goal is to make sure @beterbarker stops doing stupid shit that will put him in imminent danger and eventually lead to his inevitable death.
salty peppery @ppottsthen we move on to world domination
yee-raw me @wandahoewhy am i not on the chat :((((
i'm multitasking @leblackwidowhold on babe i'll add you
big pp @beterbarkeri am: afraid
deadpp @waterofdeathi think they started phase 4 of marvel
tony stank @tstank????????????????What?????
mr lee @excelsioryoung mr wilson is right, fellows!
deadpp @waterofdeatharen't you supposed to be dead
mr lee @excelsiori will forever live on in the heart of the fandom
emmy @wishinajari don't know what in the worm happened up there but i'm Here for it.___
Abbie @abbieksince this is pride month i'd like to take a second to talk about the gay disaster my brother is
harley @awesomesexybeastshut up shut up shuT UP
Abbie @abbiekhe's literally head over heels over @beterbarker and they've never even met?
big pp @beterbarkersajskdashkjahdsjkasdjashksads
Abbie @abbiekhe doesn't even know how he looks like even though he's visiting tomorrow
harley @awesomesexybeastabbie you absolute bitch i hope you like hospital food
Abbie @abbiekdon't even try to brandon rogers me this is revenge for lila
harley @awesomesexybeastbUT YOU'RE TOGETHER NOW SHOULD'T I BE THANKED?
lila @bestbartonkidhe has a point babe
Abbie @abbiek@bestbartonkid shut up and come cuddle me
lila @bestbartonkidi'm on the jet
harley @awesomesexybeastin my defence peter radiates twink essence
big pp @beterbarkerhnnnng harley
gay in the chair @nedledi did not need to see that let me entertain the thought that peter is still an innocent little boy please
harley @awesomesexybeastno
tony stank @tstankAnd i oop-___
inspiration @Emerald_Breakok so are we going to blatantly ignore the fact that Anthony Stark can apparently meme?
tony stank @tstankyes
inspiration @Emerald_BreakASJKAJKSDHAJSKDHKASJD HOLY SHIT I DID OT EXPECT YOU TO REPLY
harley @awesomesexybeastyes old man please do tell us
tony stank @tstankNo
big pp @beterbarkerno rhodey until you tell us
exasperated @rhoadyi never agreed to this
salty peppery @ppottsno, i'm pretty sure you did
exasperated @rhoadyi wholeheartedly agreed
tony stank @tstankKeanu Reeves when his wife betrays him in favour of his son: Keanu grieves
salty peppery @ppottsyou gotta do what you gotta do
tony stank @tstankThis house is a fucking nightmare.
inspiration @Emerald_BreaksEE THERE IT IS AGAIN
tony stank @tstankOf course I know how to meme, you guys. I basically invented the internet.
harley @awesomesexybeast,,,,,,,i'm sorry you what
shuri @vinedaddyyou just raised my respect towards old white men the tiniest bit
salty peppery @ppotts
why did i not know this??
big pp @beterbarker@tstank explain?
tony stank @tstankno___
harley <3
> petey <3
harley<3- oMGSJDGHAJKSHGHJ I'M COMING TMRWE DSII IM SO EXCITED IJAKWHSFKAJSJHKpetey<3- AKJDDJFHUSGHDJOPQFEUHABJKNLOEWHJVDBAKJBKDVNHU OMG YOU ARE SAIOHJKIODFSE
harley<3- i actually literally can't waitpetey<3- me neither :'))))))))harley<3- are you gonna show me your pretty face or do i have to wait until tomorrowpetey<3- i'll spare you you have one more day of blissful ignorance before your whole world comes crashing downharley<3- oh come on you can't be that badpetey<3- pfft
petey<3- you'll seeharley<3- i guess i will ;)petey<3- i guess you will :)
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
AJSKHDAKSJDKSADKJASDKJSAHJKDHAJSKDHJKASHDJKASHJKDHJAKHDJKSFHDJKSHGFHJKHSAAHUKJEHWQUAIJDSHFKAJSHFIAHJFUIAKJHF
That was what was what was currently going on inside of Harley Keener's head.Him and his sister, Abby, were on a plane
mere hours
away from the most beautiful, caring, smart, funny, brave and kind person to have ever set foot on this planet.Oh, and Tony Stark, too.
But, what- what if he doesn't like me? What if he fell for the Harley he met trough the internet and not the pathetic gay kid from Middle o' Nowhere? What if I'm not what he's expecting? What if, once he actually gets to know me, he hates me? What if-
''Harley'' Abby's calculating eyes softened quickly once she saw how distressed he looked. ''Stop hyperventilating. I can practically
feel your gay panic from where I am.''''Whatever'' he muttered, too nervous to be able to form a proper sentence.Abby raised her eyebrows, narrowing her eyes at her brother. ''Who are you? You can't be Harley Keener. My Harley Keener does never,
ever say one word sentences. I'm pretty sure he's incapable of it.''''Shut up'' he grumbled. She poked him in the cheek, laughing openly when he glared half heartedly at her.His sister was the kind of person that had an infectious laugh, so he found himself chuckling along with her.''No but really'' she started again, growing serious once more. ''You, Harley Keener, are amazing. And if he doesn't see that then it's his loss entirely.''''Thanks, Abs'' he answered, shooting her a half smile.''There you go'' she smiled brightly and pinched his cheek. ''That's better. Now, how about we play Go Fish until we get there, in what i'm pretty sure will be a failed attempt at calming your nerves down?''As it turns out, Abby was right. His nerves only increased, which only resulted into Abby smacking his head because he was nervously chewing on the cards. He tried eating, sleeping, watching Umbrella Academy on Netflix but nothing could appease him. Finally, the jet slowed down as they approached the landing area.Harley turned to his sleeping sister who was drooling on his shoulder and shook her gently.''Abs''Nothing.He shook her again, a little more forcefully this time.''Abs, we're here''Still nothing.Suddenly, his lips twitched upwards in a mischievous smile. He knew just what to do to get her to wake up.He got up gently so as to not wake her up and tiptoed to the storage closet. He didn't even
know
private jets have storage closets, but rules don't apply to Tony Stark so he didn't really question it.His eyes lit up as he found what he was looking for. He grabbed it and ran back to where his unsuspecting sister was sleeping.Thank
god no one else was on that plane. For once, he was truly thankful to have a billionaire in his debt.Turning on the megaphone, he leaned in and brought it to his lips, before all but yelling:''ABBY! WE'RE 'BOUT TO LAND''This is where things started taking a slight turn.Instead of surprising her, which is what he hoped would happen, she shot up and started screaming.And in the process, she punched him square in the eye.He fell back with a loud 'oof'. Both of them sat back for a moment, stunned, before Abby broke the silence by cackling.The disrespect, Harley thought, glaring at the shaking figure.''I can't- I can't believe that just- just happened'' she gasped out between her fit of giggles.''You're such a dumbass, Harley, honestly.'' She said once she had recomposed herself.And then the doors opened.
___
Abby walked out first, looking ten times more confident than Harley felt. But it was normal, that was just the Keener charm. The one Harley mastered on normal days, when he couldn't see possibly the cutest human ever from where he was standing. Taking a deep breath, Harley started climbing down the stairs.He had barely made it onto the ground when a blur of brown and yellow ran up to him and hugged him. From behind the mystery person's shoulder, he could make out the figures of the mechanic and his little sister talking together animatedly.The mystery guy smelt like lemon with a hint of cinnamon.Suddenly, just as quick as he had hugged him, he let go. He was about to ask him who he was when he got a good look at him and
sweet baby Jesus, if this was who he thought it was, he was fucked.Completely and utterly fucked.The boy had the fluffiest brown he had ever seen in his life and huge brown doe eyes. He had milky, smooth skin and dimples. His jawline,
Jesus fucking Christ his jawline. He had the jawline of a
god.
''P-Peter?'' he heard himself say, hating how his voice cracked.''Yep. That's- uh, that's me.'' replied Peter, a faint blush coating his cheeks. And despite hearing his voice multiple times on voice chats, his soft voice almost sent Harley spiralling into madness.Peter was 5'9 to his 6'1, so he looked up at Harley through his long, fluttery eyelashes and nervously bit his lip, unknowingly making Harley cry to the heavens on the inside.
Stop. Stop doing that. I swear to god, it's taking all of my willpower for me not to jump you right here, right now. Someone please take me away before I faint-
''Ah! Harley!'' Came a cocky voice from behind. ''I see you've finally met Peter''Harley could practically
feel the smirk in the billionaire's voice. He turned around to glare at him, only to find his sister was sporting the same expression.
Betrayal.
Eventually, after an awkward silence, he decided to take control of the situation and be the mature young man he is.''Come on, Pete'' he said, turning around and dragging him along by the hand. ''Show me where I have to go, as your dad seems to be kinda rusty.''Ignoring they indignant
hey! from behind them, Peter spluttered. ''He- wha- he's not my
dad''''Sure, darlin'. Whatever your pretty little brain wants to think''He turned to look back at his sister log enough to see her making the whipping gesture with her hand.He flipped her off.She wasn't exactly wrong, but no one had to know that.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
stronk- Peter
traitor- Nedboneless weank- Flash
prickly (l)oaf- Abesoup- Sallymistress teresa- MJsimbaHoe- Seymoursporky- Jasontally hoe- Bettymoon moon- CindyMr Harrington sir- Mr Harrington---stronk- mee,, bib gaemoon moon- me,,, lesbiabtraitor- lmao we done been knewsporky- eheheh i have an idea
sporky changed Mr Harrington sir's name to Mr Ringtone
Mr Ringtone left the chat
tally hoe- aND I OOP-simbaHoe- he's finally had enough of your bullshitmistress teresa- woah it's been a full minute and flash hasn't made some snide remark
prickly (l)oaf- that's because mr crow is tearing him a new asshole for juuling in the bathroomsstronk- i have never wished to be someone else this muchtraitor- bro your boyfriend from tennessee came over you have got to stop drooling every time our physics teacher crosses his armsstronk- listen here i never asked to be called out like thisstronk- alsostronk-
have you seen the way his muscles fLEX
soup- lmao gaystronk- and besides he's taking a shower and preparing his room rn i won't see him again until tomorrow :(((tally hoe- he was juuling in the bathrooms without memoon moon- since when do you juultally hoe- since before your mom fucked your dad you eggsporky- woah who pissed in ylulr cerealstronk- ylurlsporky- stfu you jimmy neutron rejecttraitor- peter don't scroll up your virgin eyes shouldn't be allowed to see this shitstronk- lmao virginmistress teresa- waitsoup- are you,,,,, not a virgin??stronk- no??????? did you guys not know?????????prickly (l)oaf- my whole life has been a lie wtfmoon moon- teatraitor- who was itstronk- sorry i can't hear you i have my airpots inprickly (l)oaf- airpotsstronk- diestronk- don't actually die tat wouldn't be goodprickly (l)oaf- tatstronk- nvm diesporky- peter that's,,, not how it worksstronk- i don't follow rules, i make them. and when necessary, i break themtraitor- oH NO YOU DON'Tmistress teresa- you won't riverdale your way out of this one partner
traitor- peter come back here right the fuck now before i break into your house and eat your blendertraitor- peterstronk- bold of you to assume i can afford a blendertraitor- pETER___
birb- Samsparky- Thortincannot- Tonysnekysnek- Lokicawcawmf- Clintscarletyeet- Wandaowouwuowo- Wadedaddylanglegs- Scottdramatic bitch- Petersister sMAPPED- Stevesmolgreenbean- Brucebarbie wannabe- Buckyishurihopeitdoes-
Shurijust stick to the cards- Rhodeyi can't believe you've done this- Natasha
Heroes with a Heart
dramatic bitch- i may or may not have accidentally come out to my gc as a non virgindramatic bitch- wAIT NO WRONG CHAT
dramatic bitch deleted (2) messages
dramatic bitch- why does this shit always happen to mei can't believe you've done this- i'm sorry you're a fucking what nowdramatic bitch- out of everyone in this chat you just had to be the one to see itdramatic bitch- God has truly abandoned ustincannot- No I'm still here.tincannot- Anywhore what happened to our dearest Petey piedramatic bitch- don't you do iti can't believe you've done this- this is for budapestdramatic bitch- plEASE NO IM SORRYi can't believe you've don't this- peter is apparently not a virginishurihopeitdoes- lmao pete you done fucked upsnekysnek- lmao pete you done fucked upishurihopeitdoes- omg brosnekysnek- omg broishurihopeitdoes- sjadhasjkh im love yiousnekysnek- sjadhasjkh im love yioudramatic bitch- wtf how is that even possiblescarletyeet- ahhahhaha pete you dumbassowouwuowo- secondedsister sMAPPED- Ok first of all language and second of allsister sMAPPED- YOU KNEW AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US!?barbie wannabe-
i definitely did not see that comingbarbie wannabe- oohohohoho i most dEFINITELY DID NOT SEE THAT COMINGdramatic bitch- don't,,,,,,, tell harley? please?tincannot- i'll think about itsister sMAPPED- So who was it, son.dramatic bitch- ok first of all i'm not your son and second of all who was whatsister sMAPPED- Who did you... do the fondue withjust stick to the cards- ROGERS WJKAJHDSKSFdaddylanglegs- ''d o
t h e
f o n d u e''birb- Steve, my bro, my dude, I don't know how to say this but..birb- We're in the twenty first century now.cawcawmf- ok but like fr though who was itdramatic bitch- nO ONEsparky- I BELIEVE IT WAS THE YOUNG HARRY OF OSBORNdramatic bitch- tHOR I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENTIALITY
sparky- I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THAT WORD, AND THEREFORE IT IS MEANINGLESSdramatic bitch- i'm eating all your poptartssparky- :(dramatic bitch- and the cabinets they're being held insparky- :((tincannot- You did the fondue with hARRY FUCKING OSBORNtincannot- You're out of my willtincannot- I have been betrayed by the one I saw as a sondramatic bitch- :(((smolgreenbean- Why do you not like him, Tones?
met him once, he seemed pretty pleasant.tincannot- Top Ten Anime Betrayalsdramatic bitch- sahjkdh cHOKE_____
harley<3
> petey <3
harley<3- hey so i'm sorry i wasn't free todaypetey<3- no worries! it's totally fineharley<3- nah, i basically came here to spend some time with ym favourite web slingerpetey<3- ymharley<3- you're lucky you're cute, parkerharley<3- anyways, i was wondering if we could go out for lunch tomorrow? maybe you could show me around?petey<3- sure! that sounds awesome!harley<3- great!<3 thankspetey<3- gotta go patrol, but i'll see you? tomorrow? right?harley<3- g'night, dorkharley<3- don't die before our first datepetey<3- wait, date?petey<3- harley?petey<3- kEEJERharley<3- keejerpetey<3- :(harley<3- and yeah, date. unless you don't want it to be a date! which would be totally fine, by the way. no pressure or anything.petey<3- dateharley<3- oh, ok. see you tomorrow thenharley<3- <3petey<3- <3
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
spider can @sbidermanKaren text Mr Stark
spider can @sbidermanWHAT DO YOU MEAN TWEET SENT
tony stank @tstankKid.
spider can @sbidermanMr Stark!!!!!! Hi!!!!!!
tony stank @tstankWhat did you do
spider can @tstankwhy must you immediately assume I’ve done something
harley @awesomesexybeastbecause it’s your brand
spider can @sbidermanaw bless
tony stank @tstank
Are you in trouble? Are you hurt?
inspiration @Emerald_Break#irondad
spider can @sbiderman
no!!!!! I’m 100% absolutely irrevocably fine!!!!
mj @dumbgaybitchlook at you, using your big boy words
mj @dumbgaybitchincorrectly, might I add
spider can @sbidermanthis is panphobia
abraham @(crack)erSPIDER-MAN SAID GAY RIGHTS
whatta great time to be @babeywhat a legend___
spider can @sbidermanin other news i just found out my blood is blue
harley @awesomesexybeastI just felt my blood run cold
tony stank @tstankand how, pray tell, did you find that out?
spider can @sbidermani may have been lightly stabbed and now I may be lightly bleeding out on the sidewalk
tony stank @sbidermanKID
spider can @spidey
only lightly though!!!!!___
tony stank @tstankSpidey is doing fine, guys. He probably won’t be patrolling today. On a completely unrelated note, @beterbarker got high off of painkillers whilst visiting Spidey and now we can’t find him, so be ready for some really confusing tweets.
big pp @beterbarkerwgere you talking aboyt me
tony stank @tstankAbsolutely not. Where are you?
big pp @beterbarkerimmmmmm partying wjth charlie the hnicorn
samm.e @birboh god no not tHIS SHIT AGAIN-*****
emmy @wishinajarhey @beterbarker are you gonna go raid Area 51 with us
big pp @beterbarkeryesss!!!!! I want a big alien fremd to prottec me
big pp @beterbarkerbut no kissy thiu becs I liek hrley
big pp @beterbarkerhes big tall musel hot man
shuree @bestdisneyprincessyou mean muscle
big pp @beterbarkeryes that
harley @awesomesexybeastEYE-
nedDIE @gitcjinkies.*****
big pp @beterbarkergAYS
yee-raw me @wandahoepresent
big pp @beterbarkerMY NAEM
nedDIE @gitctake your time pete
big pp @beterbarkeriT SPELS OT PP
tony stank @beterbarkerI just heard hysterical laughter we’re coming for you.
big pp @beterbarkerremove me from my sanctuary and I will vore you
big pp @beterbarkerthe gods have trusted me with their secrets I
w i l l
n o t
l e t
t h e m
d o w n
best birb @blintcartonwhat does that mean I’m s h a k i n g
big pp @beterbarkerthat just means your skeleton is ready to hatch
tony stank @tstankI found him.
tony stank @tstankHe was in the fucking fridge.
tony stank @tstankHe passed out on me.
flash @spideystanhe was,,,,, in the fridge???
tony stank @tstank
Yes.*****
Heroes With A Heart
tincannot- [picture of Peter unconscious on a hospital bed with Harley cuddled up besides him]tincannot- in front of my salad too I can’t believe it*****
emmy @wishinajardoesnt anyone else find it weird that @beterbarker was high on painkillers during the time Spidey was hospitalized?
[this tweet was deleted]
emmy @wishinajarholy shit
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
heyoooo guys!!!
im so sorry for updating this late.
tbh it’s kind of hard for me to make up ideas for this fic.
i also probably won’t be posting a s
o f t e n during the holidays because my charger broke and I write way more efficiently with my laptop (or until I buy a new charger) but I’ll still try to write a chapter or two.
i was also thinking about starting a Middle Ages parkner au? just an idea. let me know what you guys think!
that really all I wanted to say. sorry for the long wait!
also something else
it’s completely unrelated but I didn’t want to write an AN right after an AN.
PLEASE!!! SEPARATE!!! YOUR PARAGRAPHS!!!!
im not saying this so be rude or mean and if this offends you I’m sorry.
i don’t care if English isn’t your first language. I don’t care if you wrote the story at 4am in the morning whilst eating space cakes. I’ll read the story anyways, and as long as it isn’t outrageously boring or outright scandalous I’ll leave a kudos and drop a comment. you don’t have to be fluent to be talented!
but let me tell you, when I click an a story that sounds NICE and FUN and i see just
a CHUNK OF WRITING that’s 50 LINES LONG for the FIRST CHAPTER
i immediately click out of the story.
i just can’t! it stresses me out! I hate it!
PLEASE, PEOPLE. STRUCTURE YOUR PARAGRAPHS.
mucho love,
-sbidey
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When Harley said he felt his blood run cold, he wasn't kidding. The moment he read that tweet his heart started beating erratically. Never have 11 words been more confusing and concerning, ever (except for maybe ''Harley, sweetie, your father left to buy scratchers two years ago''). As soon as he heard about the stab wound, he rushed to the med bay faster than humanly possible.He arrived just in time to see Spider-Man- no,
Peter's
bloody, unconscious body being dragged to one of the spare beds on a stretcher, a distressed Tony following not too far behind. Without wasting any time, he marched up to Tony.''-Tony! Tony, oh my fuck, thank god. Is he ok? Will he heal? He'll be ok, right? Please, please tell me he'll be ok, Tony-''He was cut off by Tony's arms encasing him and stroking his hair gently.''He'll be ok, Hars'' he murmured, his voice slightly muffled by the younger's hair. ''I promise''They stayed like that for a moment before Tony made a move to leave.''Where are you going?'' he asked, his voice wavering.Something dark passed over Tony's eyes, before he replied in a stony voice.''The bastard that did this to him got away.''Harley's eyes darkened.''Give him hell, Tony'''Oh, if only you knew'
Tony thought.*****
After Tony left, Harley turned to where Peter's bed was covered by curtains. He slowly made his way over there and pulled them open, to reveal his
best friend's (who he happened to have an immense crush on) body hooked up to various tubes linked to a heart monitor beeping steadily. He made his way to one of the cheap plastic chairs on the side of his bed and sat down.He made to grab Peter's hands, gently stroking the bruised knuckles with his calloused thumb. Of course he had known about Peter being Spider-Man, and he thought he was prepared, he really did. But when he came face to face with proof that Spider-Man wasn't invincible, he was a real person under the mask- (not just any real person- Peter
), he had to admit that nothing could have prepared him for that.
God, how could Pepper handle it, knowing the her husband, one of the people she loved the most in the world was in mortal danger every time he put a suit on? They weren't even dating (yet) and Harley couldn't bare the thought of something happening to Peter, something
permanent.Because, in the end, Peter had also become something permanent in his life. Along with his adoring mom and wonderful sister and amazing family, he was one of the most important people in his life. He knew Peter had gone through much more than him and yet in those few short months he had been there for Harley more than any of his friends at Rose Hill had ever been. Harley had huge family, and he wouldn't trade them for anything in the world, even his particularly annoying cousin Elsie who insisted on never wearing pants.He was scared. He had known Peter for a few months, and yet he could barely remember life without him. Everyone told him he looked better ever since he met him, smiling and laughing more, radiating a general aura of happiness. He was scared, because he had never felt these feelings before in his entire life and he didn't know what he would do if he lost Peter, because
god fucking damn it he lov-Just then, his thoughts were cut off by gentle stirring on the bed next to him. Harley immediately perked up.''Pete''He felt a hand squeeze his fingers. He tried again,''Pete?''''Hr'l? Wht'r you doin in my room'' Peter slurred sleepily. Harley chuckled lightly. Even in his sleep indulged haze, Peter was adorable.''You're not in your room, darlin'. You're in the med bay, and I'm here because I'm worried for you.''Peter blinked lazily.''Oh'' he turned to face harley, not quite opening his eyes yet ''Tht's sweet of you, Hr'l. Y'r so nice. A'n- a'n pretty''Harley felt a blush creeping up his neck.''Oh, is that so?''''Yes. I w'n ask you 'n a date. But y' cn't tell, b'cause I wan' it to be a s'cret''''A-alright, darlin'. How about you get some rest and ask him when ya wake up?'' stammered Harley.''Yeah. Yeah tha's'' he got cut off by a huge (adorable) yawn ''tha's a good idea. Y'r smart. But y'l r'mind me, right? To 'sk Hr'l out?'''' 'Course I will.''''k'' he simply said, letting out a content sigh. ''G'night, H'rl''''G'night, darlin' '' Harley answered, pressing a soft kiss to the younger boy's forehead.Harley fell asleep to the steady beat of the heart monitor red, puffy eyes and a swelling heart.*****
When he woke up, Peter was nowhere to be seen, his loose tubes hanging from the side of the bed, looking as if they had been ripped out of where they had previously been in.
Fuck.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Hey
guys!!
i hate writing
ANs but
this is unfortunately not an update (IM SORRY I have no idea what to write but i AM working on the parkner middle ages au even though i was supposed to post the first chapter a few
weeks ago)
so uhhh I joined a discord server a while ago based off of a
fic (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19770082/chapters/46800127
go read it its amazing) and its really fun n fresh but there
aren't many people atm.so if you wanna join us just dm me (beter borker#6307) or the admins (Samwitch #9519,
Drugs and Candy #7422)
y ou
also have to choose a character, and the ones that are taken right now are peter, shuri, harley, natasha, clint, ned, wade and america
(again, id suggest reading the fic before choosing characters so you have an idea of who is available and their
plot line, kinda)
thanks for your time and i swear ill try to post the first chapter soon
y'all are amazing and ilu <33
-sbidey
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
flash @spideystanwow i really am boo boo the fool aren't i
big pp @beterbarker:((( why
flash @spideystanno one asked you
big pp @beterbarkeri see the type of person you are
flash @spideystanoh do you now
big pp @beterbarkeryeah yknow i might even tell everyone about that one time at denny's to prove you're that person
flash @spideystani know where you live
jack @frostwait what happened at denny's
flash @spideystanwe don't talk about that.
big pp @spideystan
ok but why are you boo boo the fool bls eggsblain
flash @spideystanmy roblox gf just dumped me
big pp @beterbarker,,,,,,why
flash @spideystanturns out she's a 40 year old married man who lives in bangladesh
flash @spideystanhe admitted to it this morning and was all like ''I'm really sorry, ill always love you, ill never forget the moments we passed together playing jailbreak, royal high and pokemon brick bronze'' before i blocked him and reported him to his local police department.
nedDIE @gitcgoddamn
*****
big pp @beterbarkermindfuck of the day: is your vsco girlfriend really thicc or does she just have skskskskscoliosis
VSCO @vscoOur vsco girlfriend is, in fact, extremely thicc, thanks to the new feature we've added! Download our app for more exclusive content and an unlimited, priceless photographical experience.
big pp @beterbarkerwow vsco really just used my shitpost to advertise their app,,,,, how could they do me dirty like that smh
shur.e @bestdisneyprincessi took buzzfeed's quiz and apparently I'm an?????? insta baddie???????
shur.e @bestdisneyprincesshere take the quiz and come cry on my shoulder once you find out your whole life has been a lie: https://www.buzzfeed.com/siennahowe/which-type-of-tiktok-girl-are-you-81pdcyutlw
big pp @beterbarkeri am NOT a soft girl i am the MOST intimidating person out there
harley @awesomesexybeastim an egirl,,,,, which is completely fine by me they're not that bad
big pp @beterbarker@awesomesexybeast will you be the e-boy to my soft boy
harley @awesomesexybeastonly for you darlin ;))
salty peppery @ppottsHarley, please refrain from calling him darlin when he's near a window. We've already had to call the glazier five times this month.
tony stank @tstankI'm a vsco girl???? What the shit even is that?????
big pp @beterbarkerYOU ARE HEREBY BANISHED FROM SPACE AND TIME
harley @awesomesexybeastew goddamn alvinist
tony stank @tstankWHAT ARE YOU GUYS SAYING I MAY HAVE FOUNDED PART OF THE INTERNET BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN I REGULARLY CHECK UP ON IT
exasperated @rhoadyThat sounds like child neglect to me.
tony stank @tstankOh yeah want me to tell them about that one time at the zoo near MIT
exasperated @rhoadyENOUGH SAID MOVE ON HAVE A NICE DAY
yee-raw me @wandahoeim an e-girl apparently
harp @screeeeeeechgosh darn diddly dang,,,,,,, The scarlet witch in an e-girl outfit,,,,,,,, cease beating wildly oh lesbian heart
>>yee-raw me @wandahoegee thanks ;))
>>i'm multitasking @leblackwidowShe's taken.
>>>yee-raw me @wandahoeyou really have to take all the fun away don't you
>>>harp @screeeeeeechOH OK MISS BLACK WIDOW MAAM OFC I WASNT ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT IT I KNOW SHES YOURS AND OFF LIMITS BUT YOU'RE BOTH HOT PLS RUN ME OVER WITH YOUR MOTORCYCLE OK BYE
>>>>i'm multitasking @leblackwidowSorry I only run people over on Fridays. On Mondays you get choked ;))
>>>>>yee-raw me @wandahoeyes pls
>>>>>> i'm multitasking @leblackwidowOn my way to your room don't move.
>>>>>>>yee-raw me @wandahoeabsolutely yes maam
*****
jen @rawwwwwwwr@screeeeeeech you just had a whole conversation with The Black Widow and The Scarlet Witch, pretty lesbians extraordinaire. how do you feel?
>>harp
@screeeeeeechyes
>>>jen @rawwwwwwwrunderstandable have a nice day
>>>>harp
@screeeeeeechand you don't even know most of it
*****
mj @dumbgaybitchdid you guys know that most laughs you hear in sitcoms were recorded in the 1950-60s, so most of the people you hear laughing are dead?
sally @lafayeetthe joke's on you i hear dead people laughing all the time
sailor @moonmoonhey babe what the fuck does that mean are you ok
betty brant @badnboojeeis this because of your abandoned nintendogs again
sally @lafayeetsometimes, in the middle of the night, i still hear their whimpers...
*****
abraham @(crack)erto this day, my biggest regret was kicking my aunt's cat because i accidentally put my foot in its asshole until it basically looked like an ugg boot
big pp @beterborkerdude that's so totally rad
exasperated @rhoadyEvery day the new generation are making themselves heard all around the world, they're causing more change than any politician all around the world and I truly believe that there is still some hope for the planet. But then they do this.
harley @awesomesexybeastyou're just jealous cause you don't have any ugg boots
*****
big pp @beterborkeri try sneaking up on harley but I'm dummy thicc and the clap of my asscheeks keep on alerting him of my presence
harley @awesomesexybeastor maybe it's just because you knocked down two shelves and broke the tv on your way up
big pp @beterborkergoddammit
tony stank @tstankWAIT THAT WAS YOU
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
big pp @beterbarkeri am FINALLY out of bed rest and ready to take on school
flash @spideystanyou missed seven
exams, two essays and three oral presentations
big pp @beterbarkerwhat the fuck i was out for a week
flash @spideystanwhat can i say the american school system amirite.
*****Peter looked up from his phone and groaned. He was still laying in his bed, snuggled under the covers, wearing one of Harley's old hoodies that smelt surprisingly like his future boyfriend. Or so he hoped.
"Fuck this""What's that?" he heard a voice with a unfairly hot for six in the morning southern drawl come from his door."Fuck you. You didn't tell me we had six exams, and three oral presentations." he moaned."Seven exams, actually. Eight if you count the pacer test today." Harley answered smugly.Peter shot up from his bed. Harley snorted at his mop of mussed fluffy hair and his bloodshot eyes."Are you telling me," Peter asked slowly, spitting each word out venomously, "we have the pacer test and you didn't tell me about it?"
Harley rolled his eyes."Well, yeah, because you weren't supposed to be out of bed rest for another
week.
I was gonna tell you. Y'know, eventually. What's the big deal, anyways? It'll be a breeze, what with your freaky spider baby powers.""Ok first of all, fuck off. My powers are respectable grown adult powers. And you wouldn't enjoy it either if you face planted head first into a pile of shit and then into a pile of leaves and left looking like a hippie Chewbacca." Peter bit out.A silence reigned for a few seconds, before Harley burst into laughter.Not just any laughter. Hysterical, donkey-wheeze, rolling on the floor clutching your stomach, tears rolling down your cheeks laughter."Yeah, that's right" Peter sighed. "And ever since then people at school have been acting like it's some kind of national holiday, coming to school with green painted faces and leaves in their hair.""Well that's just- that's just amazing. Ya really are a jewel to this country. A gem. What would we do without you" Harley wheezed out, still chuckling. Suddenly, he got up."Well then-" he started, shooting Peter a mischievous glance over his shoulder, "I better get going. Ya'know, let'cha prepare a lil bit for today".And with that, he marched out of the room while Peter was totally not staring at his ass.*****Ten minutes, two shirts and a broken toothbrush later, Peter found himself sitting on the kitchen island, inhaling his third cup of coffee until Tony marched in, starkpad in hand. He made a beeline for Peter and in one swift motion took away Peter's cup."Ah ah ah, I thought we've been over this. No coffee for the spider-baby in the mornings."Peter got up, marched towards the coffee pot and downed the whole thing in three gulps, leaving Tony with his jaw on the floor and a horrified look on his face."How-" he started, half fascinated and half terrified. "How did you do that? I didn't even think it was possible to unhinge your jaw like that. The way all that coffee made its way down your throat defies all laws of physics. Teach me how to do it now."Peter just levelled him with an unimpressed glare. Tony whistled."No need to get your spandex in a twist,
cucciolo.
It's your first day back at school, shouldn't you be excited?"The young hero just grunted in response."Well alright then, Fred Flintstone. You got everything with you? Backpack?"Grunt."Lunch?"Grunt."Essays?"Moan."None of that, buddy. Shouldn't have gotten yourself stabbed. Books?"Grunt."Breakfast?"Pause."Unacceptable. Check your pockets."Peter put his hands in his pocket and pulled out a cereal bar. He started checking it for poison, before his eyes lit up."Ooh, chocolate chips!" He said, satisfied. Tony smirked."Well, of course. I know how to trick my kid into eating his fiber.""Of course you do" said Peter, rolling his eyes.
"Yes, I do, you menace. Harley's waiting for you in the car, said something about an emergency. Get out of here. Don't have too much fun and drink responsibly.""Tony, I'm going to school""I know."Peter shot him a weird look, before carefully backing out, leaving Tony to happily munch on some chocolate covered blueberries.He raced downstair, receiving a couple of weird looks from the employees and texted a quick goodbye to May who had presumedly not woken up yet. When ran towards the black SUV parked in front of the doors, got in and shut the door behind him."Good morning, Happy! Im ready to gAHH" He started, but was interrupted by a very girly shriek that definitely did not belong to him and a green Harley in front of his face."Wh- y- wha- it- y- you're green!" Peter stuttered out, staring at Harley wide-eyed."Good job, Sherlock." answered Harley with a smirk."Is this because of this morning.""Noooooo..." trailed off Harley, after catching Peter's blasé expression. "...ooyes. That's absolutely definitely it, because I love making you blush.""Oh, do you now?" asked Peter, his eyebrow raised.
"Yeah. Speaking of, where's your holiday cheer? I don't see a speck of green on you.""Well then" said Peter, feeling bold, leaning into Harley. "Mind if I
borrow some of yours?"Harley, unresponsive at the moment, mesmerised by the way Peter looked up at him, mumbled an incoherent response."Because," continued Peter, "I think I wouldn't look too bad with green on my lips. Maybe some on my neck."
Harley gulped, his adam's apple bobbing up.Peter leaned in closer, and closer, and closer, until--until he smudged some green off with his finger and smeared it on his cheek.Harley breathed, still as ever, eyes locked on Peter's."I don't really think green suits me, after all" said Peter before pulling pack, pushing the door open and bounding up the steps to the school.
Harley sat frozen and speechless, watching Peter greet Ned, MJ and Flash and head inside before he finally got to his senses."PETER!!"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Peter may or may not have been unintentionally avoiding Harley during school that day.It wasn't his fault! He was mortified. He couldn't believe he had done that. Besides, he had so many exams he barely had enough time to use the bathroom. The whole day he was unfocused, moving around as if he were in a trance, re-playing that moment with Harley in the car in his mind over and over again.Eventually, the bell rang and the teacher collected his last exam for the day. Peter got up a little slower than necessary and started gathering his stuff. He turned around and started heading out, when he caught sight of Harley waiting for him outside the classroom and blanched. Taking a deep breath and hugging his books to his chest, he opened the door and stepped out.As soon as Harley heard the door open, he turned around to face Peter and smirked at him.''Hey there, stranger.'' he drawled out.''H-hi'' answered Peter, cursing the blush crawling up his neck.''Didn't see you in P.E today''''W-well'' stuttered Peter, ''I had a lot of, uh, exams to catch up, and the teacher said it was ok for me to skip P.E so i just went ahead and did that, because who needs P.E anyways, and-''''Didn't see you at lunch either'' Harley cut Peter off. ''And I know for a fact they can't keep you inside during lunch unless you've got lunch detention, which we all know for a fact, you don't''''Yeah, uh, well,'' said the shorter boy, trying to come up with an answer, ''it was such a nice day, so I was like wow! It would be such a shame not to take advantage of this beautiful day and, y'know, go for a walk, because its senior year anyways and we're allowed to do that, so-''Harley cut Peter off again with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
''Peter, darlin', have you been avoiding me?''''Whaaaaaat?'' answered Peter with an exaggerated shrug. ''Psh. No. Why would I be? It's not like I completely embarrassed myself in front of my, uh, crush, this morning, uhm...'' sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck, Peter trailed off awkwardly, while Harley's smirk widened impossibly.''Oh, is that so?'' asked Harley in a husky voice, while stepping closer to Peter.
''Uh- Yeah!'' squeaked out Peter. ''I- uhm, Icanhearsomeonecallingmebye!'' and with that Peter ducked under Harley's arm and made a dash for the exit, feeling Harley's stare on him as he exited the building, ignoring Harley's calls.Today's patrol had been not that eventful, which was a good thing as Peter couldn't concentrate because of Harley. And also because of the stab wound on his lower abdomen and the fact that he could think of at least twenty adults that would proper-disembody him if they found out he went on patrol today, despite him being prohibited to go on patrol for at least another week. But oh well, you only live once.As Peter swing back, he found his mind wandering to earlier, something he found himself doing quite often nowadays. He had acted like a complete idiot.
Yet he couldn't help it. Whenever he was near Harley, he turned into an incoherent, mumbling mess. Something about his beautiful eyes and delicate freckles and-''Peter, I have located a fire down by 42nd street. The building is in danger of collapsing and there are still seven people, two of which are children, inside. Taking your current state into account, I would suggest calling for backup.'' said KAREN, snapping Peter out of his thoughts. The spandex-clad superhero sighed. He supposed
taking care of one more fire wouldn't hurt.
''Thanks, KAREN'' said Peter, swinging towards the fire.Peter swung over there as fast as he could and was rewarded with whoops and cries when he finally arrived. Taking a deep breath, he swung carefully into the burning building.''Alright, KAREN, what have you got for me?''''There are two adults and one child on the western side of the fourth flour, one adult with one child on the seventh floor, and three adults on the first floor.'' replied KAREN.''Ok, ok, ok ok.'' muttered Peter under his breath. ''Let's go for the ones on the seventh floor first Karen.'' said Peter, a little louder this time.
Just as Peter started swinging to the top floor, he heard a ring.''Incoming call from 'Irondad, fire emoji, fire emoji, man with sunglasses emoji, red heart emoji, comet emoji, blueberry emoji, wave emoji, flying dollar bills emoji, flying dollar bills emoji, cowboy emoji. Would you like me to accept the call?''''No, KAREN, decline'' wheezed Peter as he swung what looked to be a university student and a seven year old boy down to safety.''He is pushing his call through. Sorry, Peter.'' said KAREN apologetically (as apologetically as an AI could sound).''Peter.'' deadpanned Tony.''Heyyyyyyyy T-Dad. How's it, uh, going? For you?'' answered Peter nervously, making his way down to the fourth flour.''Care to explain why Spider-Man isn't sleeping over at his best friend's nice, reasonably warm house, and is instead inside a very hot and very much dangerous apartment building?'' growled Tony.''Pshh. Whaaat?'' exclaimed Peter, trying not to breathe too heavily as he held an elderly woman, a child, and had a middle aged man grab onto his torso as he swung them to safety once again, although this time with a little more difficulty. ''I'm not- what's a Spider-Man? That's crazy. I don't- I'm not even- I've never even been inside a, uh, building.'' At this point, Peter was sweating, but he wasn't sure if it was because he was nervous or because of the heat. Probably the heat.''Wh- Pete, that doesn't even make sense. You better hope to god you haven't gotten another scratch on you since this morning.''
''Yes, of course.'' muttered Peter distractedly as he swung to the ground holding two of the three adults remaining. ''Listen, uh, I can hear my dad calling me for... dinner. Gotta blast!'' he said before promptly hanging up the phone, ignoring the low 'Peter' Tony managed to say warningly into the phone.Taking a deep breath, he walked right into the burning building.
It didn't take long for the young superhero to be swinging back to the tower. Karen had located the last man next to an open window, so all he had to do was crawl up the wall, shoot a web and pull the man outside.
As soon as he arrived, he had KAREN unlock his bedroom window, which he slowly pushed aside before crawling in.But, instead of finding his bedroom empty, he found Harley on his bed, clutching his pillow. Harley looked even more angelic in his sleep, breathing softly with his golden hair fanned out around his face, like a halo. He chuckled softly before going to wake the other boy up.''Harley, hey'' whispered Peter, shaking Harley gently. ''It's me.''Harley flickered his eyes open slowly before shooting up.''Peter?'' he mumbled. Without waiting for a response, he lurched forwards and wrapped his arms around Peter, who thankfully was strong enough to hold them both up.''Hey, not that I'm complaining, but why are you in my room?''Harley didn't answer for a second before shooting back and narrowing his eyes at the younger boy.''Why the fuck did you go out as Spider-Man today?'' He growled, getting up and starting to pace around the room. ''Did that stab wound make you forget the additional week of no patrol?''Peter opened his mouth to answer but Harley cut him off.''Actually, don't answer that. Did you know I've been worried sick?''Peter felt his blood run cold, and his smile instantly dropped from his face. He had no idea why, but he suddenly wanted to get out of the room and never come back.
''Why do you care?'' he asked icily. ''It's not like I mean anything to you.''
Peter had no idea where that had come from. Harley hadn't done anything to him, and yet here he was, insulting him. Because he was an idiot.Harley turned to Peter and looked at him with wide eyes.''You don't- what?'' Harley scoffed. ''Peter, what does that even mean? Of course I care for you.''Peter simply turned away, and muttered: ''One minute you flirt with me and then with half the other seniors in the school.''Harley stared at him, his mouth open. ''Wh-what? Why- why does that matter to you?''''It doesn't. It does. I just thought-'' Peter cut himself off and rubbed his eyes. ''Whatever. Like you said, it doesn't matter. Please get out of my room.''''Peter-''''Just. Get out. Please.''''Peter.'' said Harley, louder this time. He turned away and ran his hand through his hair agitatedly.
''Fucking screw it.''Without even having time to react, Peter found himself being pushed back against the wall and felt a hot, urgent pair of lips on his own. Without thinking about his previous protests, he reacted and kissed back. He carded his fingers through the soft blond curls, before pulling Harley impossibly closer to him. Harley pulled back to admire the sight of Peter, with pink lips, breathing heavily against him, before kissing him again.The second time wasn't as urgent. It was sweet and innocent, like a summer breeze, or a drop of dew the morning after a heavy thunderstorm.
Until it was interrupted by his bedroom door slamming open.Silence....''WHAT THE F-''
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
harley<3
>petey<3harley<3- soooopetey<3- sooooharley<3- abt yesterday.petey<3- im literally so sorry that was so embarrassing
harley<3- it's fine lolpetey<3- he put an alarm for both of us.harley<3- yh that suckspetey<3- he gave us
bedtimesharley<3- that also suckspetey<3-
he mentioned the word incest while describing usharley<3- pls don't remind mepetey<3- im so sorrypetey<3- wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me againharley<3- shut the fuck up i really really like youpetey<3- ...really????????????????harley<3- i literally kissed you yesterday i haven't been discreet AT ALL. EVER.petey<3- yeah well now that you mention it
harley<3- you are actually dumb. you are stupid. but unfortunately i like your stupid. and your everything.petey<3- uhpetey<3- thanks?harley<3- so uhharley<3- lunch? together? tmrw?petey<3- ofc <33harley<3- <33
Heroes with a Heart
dramatic bitch- stank you're dead to metincannot- I'm not even sorry.ishurihopeitdoes- he found out?scarletyeet- about time ffsdramatic bitch- HOW DO YOU ALL EVEN KNOW ITS BEEN A DAYbarbie wannabe- i mean it was kinda obvious.tincannot- NO IT WASNT
tincannot- NEVER IN MY FIFTY SOMETHING YEARS OF LIVING HAVE I EVER WITNESSED SUCH A SCANDALjust stick to the cards- Tony you're 43.tincannot- Irrelevantbird- ahahah old mansister sMAPPED- Wait, sorry, what's happening?i can't believe you've done this- did you really take a whole minute just to type that?sister sMAPPED- Sorry.daddylanglegs- I'm sitting on the couch with him and he's typing with his index send reinforcements
sister sMAPPED- I asked a question, as I may recall. What's happening?smolgreenbean- underoos finally got his mantincannot- Hey no only I can call him thatsmolgreenbean- sorry boomertincannot- You're older than me.sister sMAPPED- WHAT'S HAPPENINGdramatic bitch- NOTHING
ishurihopeitdoes- PETER AND HARLEY ARE DATINGdramatic bitch- SHURIishurihopeitdoes-PETER
dramatic bitch removed ishurihopeitdoes from the chat
ishurihopeitdoes added ishurihopeitdoes to the chat
ishurihopeitdoes- you can't get rid of mesister sMAPPED- Wait.sister sMAPPED- Peter, you're gay?cawcawmf- is he frsister sMAPPED- And you like Harley?!snekysnek- rogers whatsnekysnek- you were there when he came outsister sMAPPED- ...I was?barbie wannabe- doll..... you were.sister sMAPPED- Seriously?dramatic bitch- what the fuck is going ontincannot- Serious question: Steve, are you ok?sister sMAPPED- Yes????? No?????? I don't know????????
just stick to the cards changed sister sMAPPED's username to stupeed
stupeed- That's not how you spell it.just stick to the cards- I am aware.stupeed- Ohstupeed- Because instead of pid you said peed.stupeed- Har Har. You are so funny, Rhodes.just stick to the cards- I am aware.i can't believe you've done this- i need a drink
bobbles- Harper Page (harp @screeeeeeech)
blossm- Wanda
buddercup- Natasha
chowderpuff girls
bobbles- ok but does either of you have enough space in their room to take a big red stop street signbuddercup- We're superheroes. We save the world. We shouldn't condone your petty crimes.bobbles- buttttttt?buddercup- You're lucky you're cute.bobbles- are we still on for coffee later?blossm- yh ofcbuddercup- we will be if Wanda gets her ass off of meblossm- nobobbles- wow, wandsbobbles- you'd just leave me to suffer aloneblossm- noblossm- my life is just so perfect idk what to do firstblossm- I have two beautiful girls to attend to
terodactal (harper)
>
not my little brotherterodactal- PETERterodactal- PETER BENJAMIN PARKER GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOWnot my little brother- jesus bajesus harp
not my little brother- whatterodactal- i think that I'm pretty sure that natasha called me cuteterodactal- and i think wanda may have indirectly called me beautiful send helpnot my little brother- ITS BECAUSE THEY LIKE YOU??????terodactal- thats impossible lolololoololnot my little brother- whterodactal- BECAUSE IM A 25 YEAR OLD REGULAR CIVILIAN WITH NOTHING SPECIAL EXCEPT HOURS OF HOMEWORK FROM MED SCHOOLterodactal- AND WANDA IS A VERY HOT 24 YEAR OLD SUPERHERO WITH WITCH POWERS WHO HAPPENS TO BE A MEMBER OF THE AVENGERSterodactal- AND A VERY HOT 31 YEAR OLD GIRLFRIEND WHO HAPPENS TO BE THE MOST BADASS SPY IN THE ENTIRE WORLDterodactal- WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE AN AVENGERnot my little brother- harper ffsnot my little brother- get this into your head because its truenot my little brother- i will NOT stand here and let you DRAG YOUR GOOD NAME THROUGH THE MUDnot my little brother- you are amazing
not my little brother- you are uniquenot my little brother- you are a sexy beastnot my little brother- now GET OUT THERE AND BE GAY AND DO CRIMEterodactal- thanks, pete <33not my little brother- anytime harpes <33
chowderpuff girls
buddercup- So do I you're not specialblossm- wow ok i seeblossm- i'm leaving you for harperbuddercup- not if i leave you for her firstbobbles- now now gaysbobbles- there's enough of me for you to sharebobbles- also I'm at the coffee shop, there's only one booth left and the seat next to me is the only seat without some weird stain on itblossm- sJKSBJHJN 2I34H9RI0NObuddercup- SORRY BABEblossm- SHE JUST THREW ME OFF THE BALCONYbuddercup- NO BIG DEAL YOU CAN FLAYNJKADOSIbuddercup- I RAN INTO A TEN YEAR OLD I AM GETTING THERE FIRST IF ITS THE LAST THING I DObobbles- which it probably willbuddercup- SHUDDUPblossm- lol shuddupbobbles- wanda's already herebuddercup- WHAT HOWbobbles- she can flyblossm- i can flybuddercup- THATS AGAINST THE RULESblossm- SHOULDN'T HAVE THROWN ME OFF THE BALCONYbuddercup- YOU CAN FLY YOU JUST SAID ITblossm- yeah well
blossm- i love you <33buddercup- i love you too <33bobbles- oh look natasha's finally herebuddercup- shuddup
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
stronk- Peter
traitor- Nedboneless weank- Flash
prickly (l)oaf- Abesoup- Sallymistress teresa- MJsimbaHoe- Seymoursporky- Jasontally hoe- Bettymoon moon- Cindyi wanted to be a coowboee baeeby- Harley
professional acadec chat
tally hoe- twenty dollars they're taking us to the zoo and calling it an educative experience
stronk- are you joking were a stem school
stronk- ill bet u four dollars and a sandwich from delmars they're taking us to columbia or nyu even though half of us already toured the campuses
i wanted to be a coowboee baeeby- lmao babe this school charges 15k per year we're not going to some universitysporky- freshman year they took us to the supermarket next door, made us buy our own food and then took us to the park to feed the pigeonsi wanted to be a coowboee baeeby- what the fucksimbaHoe- they spend all the money on lab equipment and MacBooks which is fun and all but yknowstronk- anyways you guys are gonna have to tell me where it'll be cause I'm sickboneless weank- he's missed so many days how is he not expelledmistress teresa- somehow his gpa is at 4traitor- what do you even havestronk- astronk- uhstronk- an illness shut upprickly (l)oaf- k well unlike you some people actually have to go to school to get good grades so excuse us while we suffer through 1 and a half hours of economics while you're sitting in bed watching sitcomsstronk- lmao sounds hardstronk- say hi to mrs embers for mesimbaHoe- i would but shed tear me apart if i even mentioned your nametally hoe- yeah why does she even hate you anywaysoup- STORY TIMEstronk- shut up y'all are in classi wanted to be a coowboee baeeby- awe my tennessee is rubbing off on youboneless weank- shut up i want to hear the storytraitor- OH WAIT IS IT THAT TIME WHENstronk- yestraitor- JKASNDKJsporky- TELL US EMBERS IS BLIND SHE WONT NOTICE SHITstronk- IM BEING PEER PRESSUREDmistress teresa- i don't want to hear it parkerstronk- SEE MJ SAYS NO STORY SO THAT MEANS NO STORYmistress teresa- no i meant i don't want to hear your whining you're gonna tell us the storymoon moon- MJ YESstronk- FINEstronk- junior year. i wasnt in her class yet, but juniors chem was too easy for me so they moved me to ap seniors chemsimbaHoe- lowkey a flexsoup- shutprickly (l)oaf- the fucki wanted to be a coowboee baeeby- your mouthstronk- anyWAYSstronk- near the end of the year i was partnered with this other senior for our group projectstronk- his name was connor i think
stronk- he was really nice were friendsstronk- and he had ap economics with mrs embers thursday last period and i had free period so i waited for him outside his class so we could work on our project togetherstronk- and our project was to see if a rodents immune system (a gerbil in our case) reacted to cancer cells the same way a humans immune system didsporky- where the fuck did you get cancer cellsstronk- doesn't matterstronk- so the week before the project was due on the library where we usually worked and kept the gerbil was closed so he told me to come over to his house to work on the projectstronk- but i had to bring the gerbilstronk- so i was waiting for him outside his ap economics class with mrs embers holding a gerbil cage and for some reason the door was slightly opensoup- is this going the way i think it isi wanted to be a coowboee baeeby- oh nostronk- anywhorestronk- I'm just waiting for him and holding the gerbil cagestronk- and then i hear screaming
stronk- so i turn around and look inside his classroomstronk- and i see tables upturned, students in shock, and mrs embers standing on her desk pulling her hair out and yelling something about getting rabiesstronk- which is obviously when i realise that my cage is emptyboneless weank- oh my godstronk-
turns our mrs embers has an irrational fear of rodents, so i rush inside the classroom to take jerry back and mrs embers sees metraitor- of all the names why would you name your gerbil jerrystronk- tom and jerrytraitor- jerry's a mousetally hoe- SHUT UP LEEDStally hoe- continuestronk- and she starts yelling at me about how she'll sue me and get me expelled n shitstronk- at that point I'm scared shitless while connor in the back is laughing and having the time of his lifestronk- but here comes the best partstronk- she tries taking a step forward for whatever reason and steps on her stack of papersstronk- does an honest to god summersaultstronk- and lands face down, ass up, skirt rippedprickly (l)oaf- NOstronk- yesstronk- and thats the story of how i got my ap economics teacher to hate me foreversoup- thatsoup- was a rollercoastermistress teresa- harley shut your dumbass uptraitor- HES LAUGHING SO LOUDtraitor- half the class is laughing and the other half is confused as fuckstronk- well I'm gLAD YOU GUYS FIND MY MISERY AMUSINGtraitor- ooptraitor- and he got his phone taken awaytraitor- so did flashtraitor- and cindymistress teresa- abe did too
mistress teresa- and so did jasonmistress teresa- and bettymistress teresa- and seymourmistress teresa- wow mr henderson doesn't look too happy his analysis on shakespeare's door got interruptedsoup- well at least mj and ned aren't laughingstronk- oh they didstronk- the first time i told themstronk- they snorted their sandwiches out of their noses
heroes with a heart
dramatic bitch- MR STARKtin cannot- Sighjust stick to the cards- did you really just write sightin cannot- What is it, demon childdramatic bitch- come take care of metin cannot- Can't you ask literally anyone elsedramatic bitch- i can't they're all on a mission
dramatic bitch- pleeeeeeease mr starkdramatic bitch- tonydramatic bitch- daaaaaaadtin cannot- God fucking damn itjust stick to the cards- this kid i love himdramatic bitch- i love you too mr rhodeyjust stick to the cards- faintstin cannot- You
tin cannot- You know what
tin cannot- Nevermindtin cannot- I'm coming over with soup and DayQuildramatic bitch- thaaaaanks mr staaaaark
professional acadec chat
traitor- BAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHstronk- whatstronk- did the universe find yet another way to make me regret my very existencesoup- you could say thattraitor- they're taking our biology class
traitor- including BRAD DAVIS, HOMOPHOBIC AND TRANSPHOBIC EXTRAORDINAIREtraitor- TO STARK INDUSTRIESstronk-,,,stronk- motherfucker
may @maypCan someone explain to me why I come home and my apartment is in ruins.
may @maypI just heard a very girly screech and I know Peter didn't bring home a girl because he's a useless gay for @awesomesexybeast
may @maypOh nvm that's just Stark.
big pp @beterbarkerHES RUINING MY LIFE AGAIN MAY
mrs ceo kickass lady supreme ma'am @ppottsIs this about the field trip?
big pp @beterbarkermayhaps
spider can @sbidermanhey no wtf only i can ruin peter's life
big pp @beterbarkershut uP this is SERIOUS
emmy @wishinajarimagine coming home to Tony Stark in your apartment being ripped to shreds by his pseudo son being a normal thing
big pp @beterbarkerit's not as fun as you think he's ruining my LIFE
spider can @sbidermanmelodramatic bitch
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It's been a month since Peter and Harley got together, a month Peter's been living in blissful happiness. He's never been better, everything is finally going his way. He feels as if he finally found his balance, his constant. All in all, Peter's finally doing ok.
He told his boyfriend he'd be out on patrol until 3am, since it was a friday night and he didn't have school the next day, but really he was out buying flowers for their one month anniversary.Taking his suit off, he walked into his usual Margaret's Garden, his favourite flower shop in all of Queens, where the owner greeted him with a smile.Margaret was a family friend. She and his uncle Ben grew up together, as pseudo-siblings, so Peter always gets the family discount when he visits her.''So, Pete, you and that boyfriend of yours still going hard?'' she asked him with a smile.''Yeah'' answered Peter, grinning.'' In fact, today's our one month anniversary. I was gonna get him some flowers. Do you have any recommendations?''''When do I not. I'd suggest the purple peonies and the red chrysanthemum, both symbolise romance and purity.''Peter made a face.''Eh, I don't know. Harley doesn't like purple. Do you have any of the baby pink ones?'' Peter remembered the last time he got Harley pink peonies. They'd hung them from the ceiling in the space between their rooms at the tower.''For you, of course'' said Margaret with a wink.''Thanks, Marg'' gushed Peter, admiring his bouquet. Margaret had added some kind of leaves and little white flowers, making it seem almost ethereal. ''What will that be?''''Oh, don't worry about it.'' smirked Margaret. ''It's on the house.''''What?'' squeaked Peter, feeling a blush creep up on his face. ''I- You- I can't let you do that!''Margaret looked at him, rising an eyebrow in amusement.''I'm sorry, I thought I just heard you tell me how to manage my flower shop. Did I hear you correctly? I couldn't have.''''I- uh-'' spluttered Peter, torn between insisting on paying for the flowers and obeying Margaret's orders.Margaret chuckled fondly. '' Just go, nerd. Your boyfriend's waiting for you.''''Right. I- Ok. Thanks!''Right before exiting the coffee shop, he shot a 'and I'm bringing lunch tomorrow!' over his shoulder, not waiting to hear her response as he started jogged to an alley to swing back to the tower.He debated swinging into Harley's room from his window, but decided against it, just in case he scared him. A block away from the tower he swung into another alleyway and changed into his civilian clothes. He walked the rest of the was to the tower.As he entered the building, the receptionist, a boy named Michael in his mid twenties who he'd hung out with a few times, greeted him brightly.''Hey, Peter? What are you doing here? Harley said you weren't coming in today.''''Yeah, well'' Started Peter, beaming at Michael. ''I'm surprising him''Michael smirked at him and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.''Oh alright then. Go get him, tiger''''Thanks, Michael'' shouted Peter as he started running to the elevator. As soon as he was in, FRIDAY greeted him brightly.''Welcome back, Peter. Would you like me to alert Harley of your arrival?''''No, that'll be alright, Fri.'' answered Peter. ''I'm surprising him. Floor 92, please.''''Very well, Peter. Ascending to floor 92.''The ride up, even though it only lasted about half a minute, felt like hours. Peter kept swaying back and forth on the balls of his feet, a dopey smile on his face while imagining Harley's face when he surprised him.God, he liked him so much.
Maybe even...
Before he could finish the thought, the doors dinged open and he stepped outside.He practically skipped to Harley's room. He felt so giddy. He hadn't felt this elated in months. Sure, it had only been a month, but it felt like they'd been together for years.He stopped outside his room and took a deep breath. Both their rooms were soundproof so he had no idea what Harley was doing inside. Straightening his sweater collar and mussing up his hair, he turned the door handle quietly.Before promptly stopping in his tracks, like a deer caught in headlights.His grasp weakened and he felt himself let go of the bouquet he was holding, the bouquet that was meant for the boy in front of him, the boy that was now laying half naked on top some girl he'd never seen before in his fucking life.His ears were ringing. He couldn't breathe. He felt as if he were underwater. Distantly, he heard the bouquet hit the ground with a soft thump, which caused Harley to finally,
finally break away from the girl's face and look at him.His eyes widened and he jumped away from the girl as if he'd been shocked. The girl looked at him quizzically before following his gaze until it landed on Peter, and she had the fucking nerve to
smirk.Peter felt his whole world crumble. He felt everything waste away until he felt as if he were standing in the middle of nothing. He
felt
nothing.
However, as Harley got up from the bed and whispered his name tentatively, almost pleadingly, he thought he could feel his heart shattering, the pieces scattering everywhere, close and unbearably far away at once.Peter choked back a sob as he turned around and fled the room, stepping on the bouquet on his way out.He could feel Harley sprinting after him. He could feel him yelling his name. But the only thing he could hear was his erratic heartbeat and his choked breath and the panicked voice calling his name from behind.He didn't know where he was going until he reached the elevator. It opened for him immediately, but Harley managed to squeeze through the doors and trap him and Peter in the elevator.Neither of them knew what to say.
''...why?'' asked Peter shakily, refusing to look at the other boy.''Baby...'' pleaded Harley, stepping closer, reaching out to touch Peter, making him flinch away violently. ''I- Darlin', she meant nothing to me-''''THEN WHY!'' burst out Peter, finally looking up.Harley was standing suffocatingly close to him. His blue eyes, the eyes he gazed into time and time again the past month, the eyes that used to look at him
and only him
the way he was probably looking at the other girl earlier, the eyes that were now looking down at him, were now utterly heartbroken and wet from his tears.''WHY THE
FUCK WOULD YOU BRING A GIRL INTO YOUR BED, THE BED I'VE LAID IN BEFORE, THE BED WE'VE KISSED IN BEFORE,
THE BED WHERE YOU'VE TOLD ME COUNTLESS TIMES THAT YOU'RE GONNA
FUCKING LOVE ME SOMEDAY!''Peter choked up a breath as he felt all the fight drain out of him, as if someone had sucked all his soul out. He felt completely empty, aching everywhere and nowhere in particular.''If she meant nothing to you, why did you do it? Does that mean our relationship means that little to you?''''Princess, I-''''Don't fucking call me that. Just... don't. We're fucking done, Harley. Just leave me the fuck alone.''And with that, the elevator doors opened and Peter ran everywhere and anywhere, leaving Harley to sob miserably in the elevator, alone. He just needed to get away.And that's exactly what he did.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Peter knew he should be less surprised. After all, his good luck had lasted long enough. He had gotten a boyfriend, a father figure, a mother figure, saved civilians and no one had gotten hurt. At the beginning he was sceptical, but slowly, over time, as nothing happened, he started to believe that maybe,
just maybe his Parker luck had decided to let him live his life for once.But oh boy, was he wrong. It seemed it was just waiting for the perfect moment to strike him from behind, take him by surprise. It was just waiting for the best moment to cause him as much pain as possible.
Peter sometimes wondered what he had done to deserve his luck. Was it the people he hadn't saved? Was it the deaths he had caused? Did he somehow cause harm in the world every single day by simply being? Did the world consider to have given him too much good, and decided to take and take and take from him until he was left breathless, shattered, gasping for someone or even
something to pick up his pieces and glue them back together? It probably did.
He really, really should have been less surprised. He should have seen it coming. So much for his spidey sense. But he didn't.Which is why he was now sitting in a crowded, sweaty bus with his biology class, on his way to Stark Industries. His workplace, and his home.Ned had called in sick with the flu (the traitor), MJ was taking economics and rights and Flash, who had - surprisingly- begun hanging out with them more and more, had been suspended from the trip for too many unexcused missed assignments, so he was sitting next to Harley, holding their entertwined hands in his lap, chatting animatedly with him, Sally and Abe, who were seated in front of them.Honestly, he wishes Ned could have come. He would have kept him out of the spotlight, if only for a little bit. He loves his boyfriend, but he has a weird habit of showing him off.
''So anyways'' continued Sally. ''Fuck, marry, kill... Thor, Captain America and Spider-Man''''Well, I'd obviously fuck Spider-Man. I mean, have you seen that ass?'' drawled Harley, shooting Peter a mischievous smirk, making him choke on his own spit.Sally's eyes widened as Peter started coughing furiously.''Oh my god, Pete, you ok?''''Yeah, yeah I'm- I'm fine'' stuttered Peter once he got his breath back, shooting his evil, evil boyfriend a glare.''Aw, darlin, it's nothing against you.'' said Harley, stroking his cheek in mock comfort. ''I mean, you've gotta admit, he's a real piece of man candy.''''Yeah, he sure is'' mumbled Peter, shrugging Harley's hand off and poking his tongue out at him.''Real mature.'' piped in Abe, who was staring at the interaction amusedly.Peter rolled his eyes. ''Shut up, Brown. You've literally called the teacher a poopie face. You're legally not allowed to talk to me about maturity''Abe looked down as red crawled up his neck. ''Ok listen, that was once, and I'd appreciate if we stopped bringing that up-''''Hey!'' hollered the voice of none other than Brad Davis from a couple of seats away, causing everyone to turn and look at him. ''Fag one and fag 2!''Harley shot up from his seat, a murderous look in his eyes. ''What the fuck did you just say, you piece of-''''Sh, babe, he's not worth it.'' whispered Peter in Harley's ear, tugging at his arm gently to get him to sit down.Mr Harrington turned around in his seat and shot an exasperated look towards Brad.''Mr Davis, please refrain from taunting and degrading your classmates. This is your first of three warnings before I send you home.''''Whatever.'' muttered Brad, rolling his eyes, before turning back to Harley and Peter, the former bristling in silent rage while the latter muttered reassurements.He lowered his voice so as not to be heard by the teacher. ''Anyways. What do you think Tony Stark will say about the little thing you have going? You think he'll finally see how disgusting and pathetic you are and kick you to the curb?''Before Harley had the chance to say anything (probably with his fists), Abe cut in dryly.''You do realise they're both living with him, right? They're both his kids, and he's living in a tower with multiple queer, and some married queer couples. He's started multiple organisations and shelters for lgbt youth, and has even publicly stated being pansexual himself. Seriously, dude, are you sure you're in the right school?'Sally snickered at Brad's expression, before his eyes lit up.''Oh my god. Is that why he's letting you stay with him? Does he wake up every day with your pretty pink lips around his cock? Because, really, I can't think of any other reason why he'd bear to be near you-''At that, Harley seemed to snap. He lunged over at Brad, which probably would have worked had he not been sitting two rows in front of them, and had Peter not been blocking him.
''You sick motherfucker. I fucking dare you to say shit like that again, I'll fucking break your arms you bigoted-''''Guys!'' Cut in a tired Roger Harrington. ''Please, no fighting in the bus. Brad, just because you lowered your voice slightly doesn't meant I can't hear you anymore, so you're getting a week's worth of detention when we get back. This is your second warning.''''What!'' Exclaimed Brad indignantly. ''Harley was about to attack me! Why are you not punishing him?''''Because he didn't instigate the fight and didn't say anything insulting towards his classmate's identity. Now please, shut th- quiet down for the rest of the ride or I'll give you another week's worth of detention.''Brad flipped off the teacher's back and turned back to Peter and Harley, getting promptly cut off by Mr Harrington.''Brad, I saw that. I swear to god If you don't turn around I'll tell the bus driver to leave you in the middle of the highway.''Brad glared at the boys before turning around.
''You should've let me beat his sorry face to a pulp, darlin'.''''It wasn't worth it.''Harley turned to face peter, staring at him in disbelief. ''Wasn't worth it? Did you hear what he said? If you weren't there, I'd get expelled for the things I'd have done to him.''Peter chuckled lightly.''But I was there. Don't worry about it, seriously. Besides, if he does anything suspicious in the tower, you know FRIDAY will absolutely decimate him.''''I know...'' Sighed Harley softly, bringing his arms around Peter and tugging him closer to him. ''I just hate what he says to you. It's all so wrong and if only he got his head out of his ass-''''You gotta admit, though, he does have an ass.'' said Peter smirking at the glare Harley sent him.''He does not. It's flatter than- actually, why are you paying attention to his ass?''Before Peter could come up with a poor excuse, he heard gagging from the seat in front of him. Peter and Harley broke apart to see Sally and Abe, staring at them, covering their ears.''Ugh, I miss Cindy.'' Mumbled Sally.''Are you gays done being gross? Seriously, I just wanted to talk to my friends, but if I have to witness this nasty shit one more time I might throw myself out the window. Why did you have to be so gay?'' Joked Abe.Sally rolled her eyes and slapped his elbow not-so-lightly.''Oh my god, Abe, you can't just ask people why they're gay''''Jesus, woman!'' Exclaimed Abe. ''If it weren't for the mean girls ref I would have pummeled you by now. You have zero chill. That actually hurt.''''Sorry.'' Said Sally, blowing a kiss to Abe who was sheepishly rubbing his arm where Sally had elbowed him, not really sounding sorry at all.''Please.'' Peter rolled his eyes. ''You could never take on Sally, you twig. You got beat up by Emily Dickinson in freshman year and she was two years below you.''''Seriously, man, why do you hate me?''They all continued their playful banter, the Brad Davis incident long forgotten.Finally, the bus came to a stop a couple blocks away from Stark Towers. All the students, save Harley, Peter, Sally and Abe, who had all been here before (the former two lived there, and the latter two came by more and more often to hang out), were pressing their faces against the cool glass, trying to catch a glimpse of the tower.''Alright, students! Please get out of the bus and wait for me by the stop sign, thank you!''Slowly, the students started filing out of the bus, walking by the stop sign and crossing the street, completely ignoring Mr Harrington's orders. Peter felt awful for the man.Once they reached the entrance to the building, Mr Harrington tried once again to gather the students.''All right, students! I'm going to say this once, so if you're not listening, you'll probably get a lifetime ban from Tony Stark himself, Mr Davis!'' Exclaimed Mr Harrington, shooting a pointed look towards Brad and his posse who were chatting rowdily a few feet behind the rest of the group.''Here are the rules. No touching anything unless you get explicit permission from one of the employees, no disrespecting anyone, whether it be an employee, and intern, or a classmate,'' says Mr Harrington, shooting Brad another pointed look, ''no singing loudly or yelling, no running, no causing any form of ruckus, no going where you shouldn't go, no stealing anything and no freeing animals from their enclosures.''At the last one, Sally let out a soft squeak.''Also, this really should go without saying, but god knows you're capable. So please, for the love of god, don't damage the building in any way or traumatize the workers. Have I made myself clear?''Different exclamations of agreement came from the students.''Alright. Good. An intern should be with us shortly.''Maybe, Peter thought, just maybe, this wouldn't be so bad.Famous last words.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
so uhhh hi! id like to begin by saying that im so sorry for not updating in so long. i havent felt the motivation to continue writing this. i'll try writing more soon (i always say that but i will!! promise!!) but i cant promise anything. still, thank you to those of you who have continued commenting and leaving kudos on every chapter. yall are the reason im not abandoning this completely.the love i get is insane. INSANE. it makes me so happy.so yeah. i apologize for that, but that's not why im writing this an.all of you probably already know what's been going on with the blm movement. what's happening is heartbreaking. i know saying that will never be enough because i can't (and probably never will) feel their pain to the same extent as them. but i will try my hardest to help in any way, shape or form. i am pretty ashamed to say i only learnt the gravity of the situation recently i wish i could say i helped in the long run, but i didn't. however, i'm starting now, and i'm going to do this correctly.these people have been going through this silently for so many years. it probably would have continued, if it wasn't for george floyd's video. but what we have to remember is that (again) these are people.george floyd. oscar grant. tanisha anderson. they're not just names, or pictures, or stories. before all that, they were people, just like anyone else. and just like anyone else they deserve to feel safe in their own home. they deserve to go to the store without being eyed suspiciously by police officers. they deserve to drive without being pulled over for no reason. they deserve to grow up, and watch their children grow up, and watch their children's children grow up without being afraid of the repercussions something as trivial as the colour of their skin might bring. most of all, they deserve to live.there's something sick about consciously taking someone's life because they were threatened by their skin colour, or the 'implications' behind it. there's something twisted about young children and teenagers being nervous or afraid to walk home from school, not because they're scared of getting mugged and assaulted, but because of the police. the people that are supposed to protect us, to make us feel safe.this isn't happening only in america. sure, it's way more amplified there, but this is happening all over the world. maybe less in some countries, but it's happening nonetheless. people say that racism is a thing of the past. is it? is it really? because i'm sure the people at the protests that have gone missing, the innocent people who have lost friends and family members to police brutality would agree to disagree.for those who protest, PLEASE BE SAFE! remember not to wear any makeup, wear safety goggles, cover your faces, hide any distinctive features you have and not post ANYTHING that might link you or others to a loot, protest and/or riot on social media. be extremely careful. people have gone missing. they're trying to cover this up. they WILL try and silence you, using any means.here are some tips that probably work:
IF YOU COME IN CONTACT WITH TEAR GAS/MACE: DONT RUB/TOUCH ANY PART OF YOUR FACE, keep milk (or dry milk and water) on you and spray it on your face (to relieve the pain NOT TO CLEAN YOUR EYES dont clean your eyes with milk), take a 20 min cold shower once you get home, submerge your face in 1 part dish soap 3 parts water for 15 seconds (DO NOT RUB)
DO NOT WEAR CONTACTS
wear a bandana over your face lined with petroleum jelly + long sleeved tshirts soaked in water
it would be helpful to bring food/water/spare clothes with you (not just for yourself, but also for others!)
there are so many things i want to say, but this isn't a rant. it's my way of helping.i know i'm not famous, but i thought i could help, even if it is the tiniest bit, by spreading awareness on this fic because people still read this, and that's all that matters. this was kinda messy and i apologize for that but i just needed to get my message through. i'm gonna be adding some links to sign petitions, watch youtube videos and other things in the end notes, so make sure to visit them.ALSOi'm relatively young and don't have any money, so if you guys know what i could do to help (raise money, awareness, anything) other than sign petitions, watch videos and repost things on my story, please please please PLEASE tell me in the comments. i really want to help.(i can write and i can draw (somewhat), if that factors into the ways i can help in any way)that's it. i know this isn't much, but if you're reading this and have a bigger fic or a bigger following on another platform, PLEASE do this too. use your voice. speak out.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
so uh. hi guys. been a while. how. uh. yknow. howsit
I MOVED FANDOMS IM SORRY I LOST INTEREST BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN I GET COMMENTS STILL EVEN THOUGH IVE NEGLECTED MY BABY FOR OVER TWO YEARS. I FEEL BAD. I WANNA GIVE THIS AN ENDING.
which is mainly why i want to write this bc i have no idea how to end it. do you guys want a long llng chapter? maybe a few shorter chaptwrs? do you guys want a parkner wedding or do i just end it at the field trip? or do you guys want DEATH AND MISERY bc i know there are a few masochists here that would like that. freaks.ANYWAYS ANY IDEAS YOU GUYS HAVE LEAVE THEM IN THE CONMENTS AND NOW ITS THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS AND I HAVE TIME SO I SWEAR TO THE LORD ABOVE THAT I WILL WORK ON FINISHING THIS
also. if any of you that subscribed to this have moved on to the dsmp fandom. you should check out my OTHER STUFF!!! its very good i promise im currently working on some new thibgs that are very exciting indeed! and ik the dsmp fandom is currently coning to an end but in stuck so. go figure.ANYWAYS YES. PEOPLE WHO ARE NOW YEARS LATER STILL COMENTING: IM DOING THIS FOR YOU. SBIDERWOMAN IS BACK IN BUSINESS (for a little bit hopefully) COMMENT YOUR IDEAS AND MAYBE I WILL MAKE A TWITTER LATER BECAUSE MY OLD ONE GOT Uh. banned or whatever. OK THANKS LOVE YOU GUYS