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“Where are, we going?” You dragged out as Deadpool skipped along in front of you.“To be helpful.” He answered which made you groan.“But we’re not helpful.” You stopped which made him spin around to face you, cocking his head as he waited for you to do something.“We’re being… I don’t have time do you want to come with me or not?” He sighed.“No, you said I could shoot someone.” You sighed dramatically.“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot that unlike normal Teenagers who release their homicidal urges of murder and mayhem with sex you like to shoot things!” He threw his hands up before spinning back the other way. “Ok maybe you can shoot something.”“Can I stop wearing the suit?” You grumbled, picking at your suit which Vanessa and Blind Al had whipped up for you when Deadpool announced that you were becoming his side kick.“You want to walk around naked that’s on you, but I would advise on the Kevlar.” He chuckled when you grumbled at him under your breath.He stopped when a group of people blocked your path, sighing loudly when he realised it was the X-Men. Deciding to say something sarcastic only to find you with a smaller X-Man dangling from your hands.He glanced around before fake gasping. “Oh no!” He glanced at Colossus who motioned for you to stop. “Young lady put that mutant down!” He glanced at the others and shook his head.“Please don’t throw them off the bridge.” Xavier asked, you glanced at Deadpool who motioned to let them down.“Kids am I right, you gotta tell me how you manage yours, do all of yours like being assassins?” He asked grabbing the gun you were about to pull on thee professor.“Tell your baby sidekick to back away from us.” One of the X-Men snapped and you glared at them.“I wouldn’t call her that if I were you, she isn’t very friendly… unless you feed her pop tarts, but in that unitard I doubt you have any.” Deadpool chuckled when you dived for them and had to grab the back of your suit as you swished your arms about in hopes of grabbing them. “Lemmi go!” You grumbled.“Only if you promise not to hurt them… they’re bigger than you, well Mr Muscle over there is.” He chuckled and yanked you back to get a better grip until you calmed down.“Wow, can’t control the baby sidekick.” This time you flipped them off and straightened the suit.“Keep talking and I’ll make you look like Francis.” You snapped which made Deadpool chuckle.“You don’t want to look like Francis.” He glanced at Colossus. “You’d have to puke on them to.” “Do you even know why we’re here with them?” you asked him.“Well I assume it’s something to do with not assassinating the people we were payed to assassinate.” He sighed dramatically.“We need your assistance Wade.” Xavier explained.“He knows we don’t help people, right?” You asked Deadpool who shrugged.“I don’t think he knows the mask rule either.” He looked at you as you sauntered forward. “When he’s wearing the mask, you don’t call him Wade… like a sub dom thing… wait that might be the other mask, you do not want to see that one trust me.” You shrugged and glanced at Deadpool who was laughing.
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“Why am I even doing this?” You grumbled to yourself.“Because you want to catch the bad guys!” Wade called as he skipped off, sighing to himself as he opened ad shut the car doors, looking for anyone who might be left."You're seriously a man child." You sighed as you trailed after him.“You’re the teachers pet that promised to keep an eye on me.” He called back and danced around you while you deadpanned and wished you hadn’t agreed to help Mr. X by trying to keep Deadpool under control.
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You groaned as a truck with a woman sprawled out in her underwear drove past and Wade forgot what he was doing and did a dramatic double take as he watched it drive off. “Porn in the day time what a world!” He gasped dramatically."That was hardly porn" You scoffed and he shrugged.“Think of the children!” He continued as he skipped along, through the chaos he’d just caused.“Says the guy who just blocked up the freeway on a school morning.” You said before sighing and following after him.
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“Wade!” You said as he caused a car to flip.“What. Oh god. Did it hit you. I’m so sorry!” He said dramatically, picking you up while he pretended to hail down a passing ambulance.“No. Wade! Put me down I’m fine. You flipped santa’s car.” You pointed out and he dropped you.“Oh gosh Santa! We’re so sorry!” He said sarcastically as he skipped over to the upturned car.“We? I didn’t flip his car.” You grumbled as he helped ‘Santa’ out.“Listen here, Kringle. I may have gotten naughty this year, but by today’s standards, naughty’s nothing! I didn’t get anybody pregnant, I didn’t Facebook a kid to death.” Wade said, glancing at you as you facepalmed. “So I should be on the good list right?”“I can’t believe this is happening. Come on we have people to catch.” you called as you walked away.
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Warnings: car crash, death, guns “You know what to do right?” Wade asked again. You groaned. It was your first job and he had been more than insistent that he should join you. It was weird having Wade so jittery about something. It even put you on edge a little bit. You would never admit it to him but it was nice to have him there just in case something went wrong. But you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.“I don’t need you to help me.” You said to Wade who was staring down at the cars below. “You’ve been training me for ages.” You complain grumpily.“Maybe I was excited for you first kill.” He said, pinching your cheek as he spoke. You scowled at him as you prepared just jump down onto the moving car.“How soon we lose them.” He said as he watched you.He watched carefully as the car braked. When it speeds up again he stood, hoping you’d pop out at any moment, until the car started swerving. With a sigh he heaved himself off the bridge he’d been watching you from. He crashed through the sunroof of the car, glancing around to see you in a head lock while you kicked at the driver.“You see there’s your problem. Now you’re going to be stuck.” He said as he shot the man.“I said I didn’t need your help!” You muttered as the driver swerved and rolled the car. You swore as you started slipping and Wade had to grab at your arm to keep you from flying out like the man in the passenger seat.“Uh, we should go.” Wade said as he pointed to the police cars that were barrelling down the road.“We can’t! I have to get the memory card for that creepy guy! He broke into the house.” You pointed out and Wade hummed as if he’d just remembered that the house had been broken into while everyone was gathered for a family meal and there was only so long before it was to late for everyone in Wade weird, dysfunctional family.“Hey there, do you know where the memory card is?” Wade asked as he squeezed through the upturned car to ask the driver who shook his head. “Are you sure?” Reluctantly the man pointed to the glove box. Wade pried it open and found a small locked box.“Well that was suspiciously easy.” You grumbled as you pulled yourself out of the car.“I find it’s best to just roll with it.” Wade said as he flagged down a taxi, he high fived you once he pulled the box open and found a memory card in it.
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“Are you talking to your weird imaginary friends again?” You asked Wade as he finished explaining the bad guys you were looking for.“Imaginary they are…” Wade gestured and you rolled your eyes.“Ok Well, you say we’re in a movie right?”“Yes.”“You know maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie because they think it sucks. Because, I mean, it kinda does.” You offered. Wade gasped and hugged you, then shook you a little.“That’s my girl!” He lept down off the bridge. You groaned, using a grappling hook to follow him down. You might have inherited some of his abilities. But not all of them. Not enough to survive a massive plummet onto concrete or a moving car. “We have to find the spirits! Maybe you can help.”Following his gaze to where he was staring you frowned, tilting your head to block his view, seeing if maybe he could see something there. “I still don’t see it but if you say there’s a fourth dimensional wall. I guess I believe you.”