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Spirit of Pandora
 
One.
 
Michael was sharpening his knife with reckless movements. The blade was curved, and when he had first held it, it had been nearly as long as his forearm. Back then he wasn't really allowed to even touch it, but curiosity had gotten the best of him and Jack hadn't been too angry. No, Jack had just made sure that he understood the danger this knife brought and why he shouldn't even hold it when he didn't know what to do with it.

It was a hunting knife. Made to cut through thick fur and protective skin. It could sever muscles and flesh and senews if you took care of it. There were others, knives that even went through bones to get to the marrow but they weren't as fascinating as this one. No, this was the one he had liked the most from the beginning and had watched with fear.

Now that fear had turned into respect and when he realized that, his movements faltered and stopped. It wasn't the knife's fault that he was agitated and the knife was always good to him. It looked more fitting in his hand now and when he took care of it, it would also never dull. Jack had given it to him and he had promised to watch out for it.

"Aren't you overdoing it a bit?" Jack asked good naturedly and sat down with him in front of the fire. There wasn't much room in the small hut they all lived in, not anymore. Before it had been alright. Jack had his own room and Michael was fine sleeping in front of the fire. It wasn't that different than his home before coming here, and here it was always warm and he had food. Jack was also very nice and Michael knew that he should be grateful. He was! Really!

It was just hard showing it right now.

"I just want you guys to follow some trails, not actually hunt anything. I don't think you'll need your knife."

"But you also said to always come prepared," Michael reminded him and watched the reflection of the flames travel over the blade.

Jack watched him do it before nodding thoughtfully. "I did tell you that. But is that really the reason?"

Michael puffed up his cheeks. but thankfully Jack didn't expect an answer. He just messed up Michael's hair and got up to leave him to think some more.

God, how he hated that! He didn't want to think about all those messy things in his head. Things had been easier when he had been a child, but now as a teen everything seemed more complicated, as if his head was running itself into the ground.

Looking up, he found Jeremy sitting by the table. Of course, there wasn't much room here to hide or have some privacy, so the other boy was always around.

Michael hated it. He hated it even more because he started to understand how unreasonable he was being.

Three years ago when he had been ten years old, he had wished for this: another boy his age to not be so alone. Back when he had been sent here he had been deadly afraid. He had never left the little village he had grown up in and of course he hadn't been without his parents before. Now he was thrown here, to a strange man somewhere out in the woods to stay and make money. It was the stuff out of every possible nightmare he could've come up with but it was needed.

His family was poor like so many others on the edge of the kingdom and there wasn't much out here to make some coin. So Michael had to start working, and hunting was a good paying job if done right.

So he was sent to Jack to learn, and in his head Jack had always been a monster who would scream at him and hurt him, and there would be nowhere for Michael to run to.

Thankfully that hadn't been the case.

Jack was kind and respectful, and Michael hadn't been the first kid he had taken in to teach.

Jeremy was in the same boat as him, Michael was sure of it. It would be easy to figure it out, to hear if the story of the other boy was as similar to his as he expected it to be, but Michael had barely talked with him.

Jeremy was younger than him and way shorter. As he sat at the table, trying to taut the bow he looked like a child and Michael should probably help him. He was doing it all wrong, holding the string too tightly and he would cut in his hand if he didn't look out.

But Michael didn't get up like Jack probably expected him to. No, he didn't like Jeremy all too much and deep inside he knew why. Now he had to share Jack and he didn't want that.

For the first time there had been someone else who had paid attention to him and him only. Before that hadn't been possible. His father and mother had to somehow make money, always busy with work or taking care of his siblings. Having Jack pay attention to him had been a bit of a shock but something he had quickly gotten used to.

So he had learned and followed Jack's example and Jack had even told him that he was one of the most talented apprentices he ever had!

Then why did he need another one?

Michael wouldn't be done with his training for another year, what was Jeremy already doing here? He wanted to have Jack to himself for a bit longer! Now each day would end awkwardly because Jack would retire and the two of them would lay next to each other in front of the fire, not talking.

Jeremy was scared like Michael had been in the beginning and Michael could make it better. Every night when the younger boy laid there, shaking in fear and not being able to sleep, he could talk to him. Just open his damn mouth and explain to him that things would be fine, that he had been the same. That the scary thoughts in his head weren't true.

Jack was nice and would look out for him. Even Michael was nice and would help him along.

Yeah... only that he didn't.

He just couldn't get rid of this damn childish jealousy.
 
Even now he watched with attentive eyes how Jack sat down beside Jeremy and helped him with the bow. Michael should've done that, that's what Jack expected from him.

Jeremy was the next in line and so Michael should pass down the knowledge, but he was being a pissy baby about it. Not that he knew how to change that.

Huffing about himself, he got up and waited by the window until the others were done. They would go out and look for some tracks, mostly so that Jeremy could learn to read them properly. He was still having problems with that and that was probably natural due to the short time he was here. Still, Michael had to bite his tongue each time, because it was so easy, wasn't it? How could this boy not clearly see that this was a deer who left the trail? What did Jack even see in him when he was such a lost cause?

"Are you ready?" Jack asked him and snapped him straight out of his brooding.

"Of course," Michael said before thinking about it. His hand darted to his blade to even make sure he had it with him and still Jack looked at him all funny.

"Don't you think a coat would be better for outside?"

Michael blushed once he realized that he was the only one still standing there without a coat. Even Jeremy wore one, nearly drowning in the bearskin, and Michael hurried to throw his wolf one over.

Once they stepped outside, he felt Jack's big hand on his shoulder.

"I actually forgot something. You two go already ahead and see what you find, alright?"

What? No! Jack was obviously lying and all this was was a cheap trick to get him and Jeremy to interact or something.

"Jack," Michael whined, but knew it was useless. Jack was kind but that didn't mean that Michael would always get his way. Behind him he could feel Jeremy's eyes burn into his back.

Fuck.

"Whatever you find will be dinner tonight," Jack just said before closing the door in Michael's face.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

For a moment Michael just stood there, staring at the heavy wooden door as if he could will it to open again but of course that wouldn't work. So he took the moment to take a deep breath and turn around.

Jeremy was staring at him, eyes big and... scared? Was Michael scaring him?

Yeah, he had blatantly ignored Jeremy since he had arrived, but he didn't want this. Maybe sitting around and sharpening his knife all day around Jeremy was a bit menacing now that he thought about it.

"Follow me," he grunted, and Jeremy actually jumped at being addressed.

"Y-yeah."

Michael stomped ahead and didn't make sure that Jeremy followed.

Jack's hut was in the middle of a deep forest. The perfect place to hunt, far enough away from any other hunters and careless wanderers but close enough to the next villages to sell their fresh meats and furs. On days like this it did feel like being all alone in the world though, and it had scared Michael at first, but now it was nearly comforting.

In winter like right now they could go for well over a week without any other contact out here. Then there was only the noises of nature, of wind and storms and rain hitting against the massive wood of the hut.

Like right now, when the snow was deep enough to swallow up his calves. He could hear it crunch beneath his boots and tried to be quieter. It was futile because behind him Jeremy stomped around as if he had no care in the world.

That wasn't his fault, Michael knew that. The other just didn't know better yet, hadn't yet learned how to sneak. How did Jack expect them to hunt anything down like this?

But he bit his tongue to not snap at the other boy. Not his fault, that's what he had to hold onto.

After a while he stopped and waved Jeremy closer until he felt the other right next to him. Crouching down, he pointed ahead to a lonely trail in the fresh snow.

"Do you see it?" He had to if he wasn't blind and he had to know what animal it was if he wasn't super stupid.

"It's a rabbit?" Jeremy asked, and a bit relieved, Michael nodded. He wasn't sure if he could've bit on his tongue if the other got it wrong.

"Right. Probably around looking for some scraps, but it should be weak and slow this time of the year. Might be a good start for you."

Jeremy made a small noise of confirmation but couldn't quite hide how nervous he was. Michael pretented not to notice as he followed the trail with sure steps.

"There's its shit," blurted out Jeremy. The smaller boy pointed towards their right and Michael had to fight down a smile.

"We call it droppings," he told him. "Sounds a bit more professional, don't you think?"

"I guess," Jeremy said and threw him an unsure look. "Are you going to like lick it now?"

"What? Why would I do that?"

Jeremy shrugged. "I don't know. I heard people say that hunters do that and then they know like everything about the animal or something. I never understood that though."

Michael stared at him, truly flabbergasted. What the fuck.

Jeremy was obviously embarrassed about it all and just mumbled, "Kinda why I didn't want to become a hunter in the first place but..."

"We don't eat shit. Who eve-" Michael stopped himself when he noticed a motion in the corner of his eye.

It was a fox, which wasn't unusual out here. There were quite a few foxes around this area and in spring he liked to watch the young ones play with each other. This fox here looked strange and at first Michael couldn't quite tell why.

There was no snow, that was the strange thing. There was no snow that disturbed the pretty red fur, not even on their paws. How was that possible? Michael tried to spot any trails the fox had left behind, to see where they had come from, but couldn't.

As if that wasn't enough, the fox was watching them as well. They looked over both of them out of intelligent, bright eyes but didn't run away. That was a behavior that Michael usually only knew from young foxes who didn't know better and usually wouldn't grow much older. But this fox didn't look too young, not by how big it was.

A sharp intake of breath told him that Jeremy had also noticed their sudden audience and even though the smaller boy moved carelessly to hide behind Michael, the fox still didn't flee. No, their red eyes were still on them.

"Is it dangerous?" Jeremy asked fearfully, and Michael shook his head. No, there was no foam around their snout or any sign of an injury. They were just... curious, maybe?

Michael wasn't sure, but it was certainly something better than a dumb rabbit.

"Give me the bow," he ordered and stretched his hand out towards Jeremy without taking his eyes off of the fox.

"But-"

"Gimme!"

Once his fingers felt the flexible wood, the fox moved. They jumped in an elegant bow between some bushes as if they knew exactly what Michael had planned, but that wouldn't stop him. Once he had a tight grip around the bow, he hurried after the animal.

Jeremy tried to keep up and he was stomping behind him, making oh so much noise. Like this they would alert the whole forest!

"Stay here," Michael snapped at him.

"But Jack said-"

He didn't care what Jack said right now. He had to catch up to the fox and figure out what was so special about them. Why could he barely follow their trail? It shouldn't be this hard!

Whatever, he had no use for Jeremy right now if he wanted to get this fox. Jeremy would be an hindrance at the best of times, but right now?

"Michael, plea-"

"Follow the rabbit tracks," Michael told him with barely another glance at him. "I'll catch up to you once I'm done."

He didn't wait for an answer, just hurried ahead and left Jeremy behind. It was easy because he was used to run through the difficult terrain here even with snow hiding dangerous rocks. At least Jeremy listened, because his childlike steps stopped and then Michael couldn't hear him anymore.

Diving through the low hanging branches, his eyes scanned the snow around. There were tracks but not from the fox. Had he already lost them?

No, it was like he knew they were still around.

Then he saw the fox again, on a hill above him and he stopped right where he was. The fox was watching him again, the fur red and without even a hint of an injury on it. Foxes at that age always carried old scars but not this one. Their fur would bring a fortune alone but now Michael wasn't interested in that anymore. Even the bow still in his hand was forgotten as he stood there.

There were sunbeams falling through the branches, illuminating the area around and for a heartbeat... for a heartbeat everything looked otherworldly.

The fox the most so, like it was a guardian of the forest. He had heard about them in old stories but never believed in it. Now though he could swear he saw not one tail, but three coming from the fox's backside.

A fox spirit? They had a special name but Michael couldn't remember in that moment. Jack would know, Jack had told him a lot about old legends, but Jack wasn't around. In that moment only the two of them existed.

"I won't hurt you," Michael whispered and let the bow sink. He didn't know if the fox could understand him or not but he believed so. They were intelligent, he could see it in their red eyes.

Hurting them would be a horrible sin, a sin the forest wouldn't forgive him for, but right now that was the last thing on his mind. If this was really a forest spirit it was a huge honor and Michael didn't know what to do about it. A part of him wanted to come closer and touch that beautiful fur, a bigger part wanted to bow his head.

"Michael!"

Jeremy's voice reached them in this place, but neither of them reacted to it. No, this was their moment and Michael was here for a reason.

The fox lowered their head a little, and like this they looked mischievous and Michael could nearly pretend that they wanted to play. That he should throw snow at them and watch them trying to catch it. But what if he was wrong and overstepped whatever boundaries they had?

"Michael!"

This time Jeremy's voice was cutting right through his fascination and Michael flinched. Fear, panic. He had just left Jeremy in the middle of nowhere without any weapon. What if there was a wolf around? Even a sick fox would be enough to hurt the boy! Jack had trusted him to look after Jeremy but the fox-

The fox still stood above him on the hill, and there was knowledge in those red eyes. As if the fox knew exactly what Michael would do, even though he wasn't sure himself.

But then his legs moved, away from the fox and back towards the way he came. He didn't want to, he wanted to look at the spirit a little longer, but Jeremy was out there and Michael was supposed to take care of him. To protect him.

The fox knew that and let him go, didn't try to stop him and just followed him with their eyes. Michael could feel them burn on his back but didn't stop to turn around. No, now that the spell was broken his heart started to beat faster. Jeremy had sounded really scared.

Dashing through the bushes and sending snow from low hanging branches down on him, Michael didn't care about the noise he was making. He didn't care if he scared some animals away, nearly hoped for it in case anything had come too close to Jeremy.

Reaching the place they had separated, he saw Jeremy's footsteps now. They were following the rabbit and he did as well, hearing another call for his name. Closer this time, he was nearly there, but like this he could hear the true fear in Jeremy's voice.

What had happened in the few minutes he had been gone?

In front of him the trees parted and allowed him to look at the lake beneath the cliff. Oh God, had Jeremy fallen in? No, there was just a thin layer of ice on the surface that would give right out once you set a single step on it!

"Jeremy!" he called now, should've probably done so earlier, but now he broke through the last layer of trees.

Jeremy stood there, far enough away from the edge of the cliffs to not fall in and there were tears in his eyes as he turned towards him. Michael reached him, pulling him into his cloak because the boy was shaking like crazy and he wanted to ask what had happened, if he was hurt, but then he saw it himself.

There beneath a willow sat someone with snow on their shoulders and snow on their head; nearly completely swallowed up and- and-
 
Pollux woke with a gasp. For a moment he still saw the bright white burned into his eyes, then it faded to the stars above. So, so many stars that were all waiting for him, but right now he barely paid any mind to it. His heart was beating so hard that he could taste it on his tongue, metallic and toxic. As he breathed it came out in a thin fog and he hated it, hated it so much.

Above him a shadow moved and he felt cold hands on his arms, trying to push him back down.

He hated it, he hated it, he hated it-

"Why did you show me that?" he asked Mahr, but the shadow was already fading. Of course, never one to face him. Just the voice in the background, the shadow on his shoulder who weighed him down.

Then Mahr was gone, replaced by Geoff, and Gavin's heart sank. That was even worse, when Mahr tried to trick him, when he saw Mahr in the corner of his eyes, only that it was Geoff, his Geoff who had followed him in the In Between. The light, the exact opposite of his demon.

"Gavin?"

His rage faded once he realized that the hands on his arms were Geoff's, not Mahr's, and that was better and still... still he sat up and felt anger burn in his throat.

"You let me fall asleep! I told you not to!" Gavin snapped, and Geoff's face softened a little. He allowed Gavin to sit up and Gavin looked around. As always once he came back to this In Between, he ran his hands over the thin layer of glass separating them and Mahr's being beneath. The black ocean that would so easily devour them.

Often he was scared. When he went to different worlds he feared that this last protection would fade, that he would return to this place to see it gone, to have Geoff be devoured by Mahr, and the thought alone turned his stomach.

He wouldn't let that happen. Geoff didn't deserve that, nobody deserved that.

"You were exhausted," Geoff told him, a hand on his back to steady him. "Gavin, you've been running around for who knows how long. You needed a break."

Gavin shook his head and his eyes went up. Up to the stars above, all those worlds still waiting for him. There was the all too familiar pain behind his eyes once he focused on the stories, on the world out there.

Those were the others, those similar to him and Geoff. People like Polaris and Aldebaran who traveled for their own gain through the sea of stars, leaving tiny threads behind that connected worlds. They shouldn't exist, the worlds shouldn't get tangled in each other or they would crash and burn.

Some had already. When he hadn't been fast enough, when he hadn't found the strength to cut one world loose.

The worlds around had been drawn in. They hadn't been very different from each other, just a few decisions here and there that lead to a different outcome. A clump of stars painting their own little constellation until they got too close.

Gavin should've stopped them right then, that was his purpose after all. He had gone there with the intention to cut one world lose, to extinguish one or two of the stars to set the others free, but he had been frozen.

Ending a world meant ending all life on it, it meant finding an end for this story. He hadn't been able to, to end all those people there, because there was still a future, right? Another way to allow everyone to live.

But there hadn't been one and he had just watched as the stars drew closer, colliding, collapsing. They fell from the endless sky in this in between like snow and sank beneath the surface. The light burned through the darkness that was Mahr and so it burned through Gavin as well. Blinding hot and unforgiving.

Too many thoughts and wishes and dreams in those worlds, too much to process.

He hadn't found the strength to end this story and now it had cost so many other stories. So many lives getting drowned in the darkness beneath him.

He had to pluck those stars that got too close to others to avoid this from happening again.

Geoff was right, he had been exhausted from that, from watching worlds he had created go up in flames, but that still didn't mean he could rest. Resting meant more dreams, more stories that he hung up in the skies. It could become a never ending cycle if he dared to fall asleep.

"There are no new stars," Geoff assured him as if he could read his thoughts. Not that it would be hard to guess what he was thinking about. They had talked about that before, that Geoff had to make sure he wouldn't fall asleep and still-

"You don’t know that!"

"Gavin, you couldn't go on like this," Geoff just said, in the same tone he had told him to eat his greens as a kid. As if he was all knowing, as if he just wanted to make sure he was alright.

A part of Gavin wanted to snap more at him for that, another part wanted to let it go and he did that instead. He didn't want to fight with Geoff, never did, and Geoff had been right. He hadn't had a break since Geoff had come here and Gavin had begun to get rid of the first stars. It was a mentally exhausting work and it had taken its toll. But it needed to be done if they ever wanted to escape this place, if he wanted so much as a glimpse of hope.

That's why Mahr allowed Geoff to reach him here anyway. To wake him and to keep him focused on the task ahead.

Sighing, Gavin let his head hang and closed his eyes. Geoff rubbed his shoulders and that was nice, this warm point of contact.

There were no new stars in the sky, he knew that because he hadn't dreamed up stories. No, the dream he had seen was different and Gavin leaned his heavy head against Geoff.

"I dreamed about the lake," he whispered and Geoff's hand hesitated. "Michael was at the lake back then. Jeremy was at the lake."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Mahr showed me."

They fell quiet and Gavin let the thought go. It hurt his head to think about everything and what it meant, to keep track of every little dream and each decision his subconsciousness had explored in the worlds. How each idea could spawn even more.

There were still so many stories hanging above his head and more than once he wondered if he should let it collapse. It would destroy Mahr, the light and the sheer size of every dream and wish, at least Gavin thought so. Maybe it would just injure the demon, he wasn't sure. It would destroy himself too, what was left of his soul, but he would be ready to pay that price if it meant stopping Mahr.

It was Geoff who stopped him from doing so. Geoff who was trapped here with him and all those ghosts of souls in the stars. Could he really sacrifice so many dreams?

So many questions and not enough answers.

"So you were found," Geoff told him and that made Gavin open his eyes again. "Back at the lake. You were found."

"Yeah," Gavin mumbled, and then he couldn't help but smile. He had been found, that had a nice ring to it. Polaris would love to hear that.

Turning around, Gavin wrapped his arms around Geoff and held tight.

"I'm so glad you're here with me."
 
Polaris and Aldebaran were curious creatures, and for a long time Gavin just watched them from afar, Polaris especially. To some degree Polaris was the opposite to him, the ending to all he had started. Looking closer to it, it had actually been Mahr who had allowed the cycle to end, to grant Michael the wish that would show them all a way out. Probably because Mahr had understood that they had royally fucked up in consuming him and they had realized that they couldn't contain all those worlds inside of them anymore.

But as always Mahr decided that was a topic they didn't enjoy talking about.

So in some strange way Gavin figured Polaris was allowed to travel through the worlds, that he deserved to see and understand more. Also, their cause to save Michael was a good one and Gavin didn't mind it. As long as Polaris would keep in line, he wasn't going to interfere.

Aldebaran was another story.

Gavin didn't like him, no, even worse. He found him disgusting.

They followed Polaris in a straight line, leaving behind the smell of blood and the feeling of red. They usually didn't interfere, just passed through the worlds in search for Polaris. Gavin didn't like watching them and only turned his gaze towards them when they decided to interfere.

Like back in that old warehouse. Gavin had found Aldebaran there, wrapped in their own strings, and oh, how he hated Sichora. How he hated the demon that had clawed their way inside Ray's soul while he had been asleep and wouldn't let go. He hated the smell of rot it brought with it, he hated the way they tainted Ray's eyes black and made him look like a stranger.

But this abomination was the worst out of all the Rays he had seen. So close to the Ray he knew with his red cloak and the quick steps, but not quite right. Like they were trying their hardest but it just wouldn't work out.

Like the brooch with its sharp thorns that marked him as one of Polaris' knights, not Geoff's, or the rapier. Just as slender and sharp as the one who had stabbed right through Gavin’s own chest but made out of diamonds. Forged not to protect, but to kill.

Yeah, he hated Aldebaran.

He should get rid of Aldebaran, this nuisance that had collected too much power for their own good. Gavin knew he could, that he was one of the few who truly could stop them, but he hadn't, not yet.

That's why he had been there back then, in that warehouse. Because once more Aldebaran was interfering in something that was supposed to happen. Aldebaran had kept to the shadows like always, even though sun was falling through the windows above but light was burning them, would reveal too much about what they were and weren't anymore.

Aldebaran was healing someone, another Ray, and that made Gavin hesitate. Usually they brought only destruction with them, no matter their gift, but this time they used it to save someone.

Oh, and that Ray was so young. Around the same age his Ray had been and the others as well. The other Gavin holding on to him and the other Michael trying to stop the bleeding.

That didn't have to mean a thing, Gavin had grown used to seeing himself and the people he had pulled into his dreams in all different ages. What did stop him was Geoff. The ghost or memory or wish of him that lingered around. The scent of aftershave and liquor, the sound of a nickname and how he was embracing Aldebaran. How grateful he was, how much he loved.

Gavin let it go and turned a blind eye this time. Nobody had seen him, not even Aldebaran, and that was fine. In this form, as Pollux, he was just a silhouette in the corner of one's eyes. Not there anymore once the head was turned even if people stared right at him.

He had become darkness alongside Mahr and no eye could see him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Two.
 
The first time he felt the sensation of being watched, he stopped in his tracks. Nobody was around, neither Polaris or Aldebaran, and Geoff couldn't follow him into other worlds. To some degree Geoff could watch through Mahr's eyes, but Gavin didn't want him to do so. A part of him still wanted Mahr and Geoff to be as far away from each other as possible.

What a laughable wish.

Still, now he let his hand fall back to his side. The scientist hunched over his PC hadn't noticed his presence at all. In this world the portals to the Nether had been found and even worse, used. Those foolish people thought they could control the power, and once Gavin caught the first glance of this place, he had heard Mahr's amused cackle in his head.

They open their doors and hearts for us demons. How kind of them.

"The demons will destroy this world very soon," Gavin mumbled.

Ah, I think they will give them a few more decades so that they can play around. Demons love to play, you know that.

Gavin hummed in agreement, and still he decided to help out. This world wasn't necessarily close to any other but it felt strange, like something was disturbing it from the inside. He had that feeling with some worlds but couldn't yet say why.

Now he felt the disturbance again and lifted his head.

Across the office Gavin found himself in he saw Michael, and Michael was staring straight at him. The mouth slightly open, the eyes wide in something that wasn't recognition but curiosity.

Gavin stared back and felt like he was struck by lightning. It was probably just a coincidence, sometimes it did appear like people were looking in his direction, but of course they weren't. But this time, this time he was sure that Michael was actually seeing him.

The moment passed and Michael was led away by someone else. He still tried to catch glimpses of Gavin but then he was gone and Gavin still stood there with a heart beating faster than it had in a long time.

Triella, he had seen her beneath Michael's eyes, but he had seen her often. The demon meant to protect was always around Michael to guide him, either in the form of a cat or a fox. Mahr didn't like her but Gavin couldn't care less about that.

Shaking himself, he turned back towards the scientist. The man was working on a device to secure the portals, to assure only what they wanted came out on their end in case the demons wanted to escape on their own. A nice try, but it wouldn't help against the powerful ones. So Gavin touched him and changed some of the numbers in his head. Not by a lot, just enough.

After he doomed this world he turned his back to it.

Or he tried to. The moment wouldn't let him go, Michael's eyes on him, and there was a yearning in his heart. He missed Michael. He missed Michael with such an intensity, and no matter how often he watched other Michaels, it wasn't the same.

His Michael was unreachable for him, the only world Gavin couldn't see, but Geoff had told him stories. Oh so many stories about Michael and Ray. How they grew up and found their roles. Their son Liam, and how Gavin wanted to meet him, wanted to see him just once.

Michael called him Uncle Gavin, Geoff had said, and that filled his heart with so much love and gratitude that he didn't know what to do with. Every sign out there to make sure that he wasn't forgotten, that he had existed, was assuring, something he needed.

All these other Michaels weren't his and he tried not to think about them too much. Polaris was there for that, right? Polaris was out there, protecting their protector, and Gavin let him.

Now though, Gavin couldn't shake the feeling off and he returned to the already doomed world. Just for a peek, just to make sure that Michael could really see him. He had always been curious, right? Jack had told him that so often.

Another bittersweet name and Gavin took a moment to keep Jack close to his heart. Sometimes when he focused on him it felt like an embrace, that even though Jack had blissfully passed on, he was still there and always close by. A warmth and home in case Gavin needed one.

"What the fuck!" Gavin turned his head at the noise and couldn't help but smile a little. Of course it had been Michael who said it. He was sitting in the little room he had been provided with, watching TV and as usually Gavin's eyes drifted towards it. He enjoyed the rapidly changing colors and the stories it told.

"Hey!" Michael called again, and Gavin looked up.

At first he couldn't see who the other was talking to, but that didn't mean a lot. He had often seen people ether talk with the TV for whatever reason or themselves, but Michael was staring straight at him. For a moment Gavin was frozen in shock.

He had come here to watch, not to be seen. He wasn't even here to interfere with anything in this world like back when Michael had first notice him, right now he was really just a shadow, barely more than fog. Still, Michael was sitting up now, something alarmed in his eyes and more out of reflex Gavin raised his hands to show he was not armed.

"What are you doing in here?" Michael wanted to know, and he had to expect an answer, some kind of explanation, but right now Gavin pulled a blank. A part of him had expected that Michael would maybe notice him but not to this degree. Not like he was real.

"You can see me," Gavin found himself saying, and Michael paled a little. His eyes darted around, searching for... what? A way out? A way to explain Gavin's sudden presence in his private room?

"Gonna be honest, that's not really something you wanna hear in the middle of the night," Michael muttered and Gavin would've smiled if he wasn't so stunned. This Michael could also hear him? This Michael could talk to him.

"I saw you before somewhere but I can't remember right now. Probably in a dream or something." He pointed towards Gavin. "You're obviously not from around here."

Gavin touched his cloak and the fine vest beneath, a stark contrast to Michael's clothes, and he wasn't sure if he should be self conscious about that.

"Fucking christ," Michael muttered and rubbed his face. "They told me there would be some freakish things happening after I went in the Nether but not that I would see faces and people everywhere. But you are the first one that could understand me. The first one that isn't just an illusion."

The Nether? Right, Gavin had noticed Triella before and now he could feel her presence again. Was she causing this? She hadn't before, at least not as far as he could tell.

"You contracted a demon recently," Gavin told him as if the other didn't know that already.

"Yeah, Triella. She makes me see all kinds of shit, but not to this degree."

"She creates shields. She's meant to protect."

"Shields?" Michael's eyes lit up. "I'm still trying to figure out my gift but I think that makes sense. She's not really helpful with figuring this whole shit out." He was sitting up now and patted the space next to him.

"You seem to know stuff about that. I didn't expect any visitors around but I can bring you a coke or something, if you want to."

Gavin stared at him, absolutely flabbergasted. Michael seemed eager and not as surprised as he probably should be. No, that wasn't it. Michael appeared lonely, desperate for company and a way to figure out what was going on.

Looking around again, Gavin took in the room. There was a small fridge in the corner, this bed and some shelves. The TV that was still running. A second door that probably lead to a bathroom and a wardrobe. The necessities but nothing more.

This wasn't a home, it was too clinical for that, and he could see the edge of something metal wrapped around Michael's ankle. He was trapped in here while he figured out his powers, until those people found a way to use him.

"What's your name? Mine is Michael," he offered and held out his hand.

Gavin stared down to him, to the open hand and knew Michael expected him to take it. He couldn't do that, he wasn't used to it. Back in his In Between he could touch Geoff and he figured in theory he would be able to touch Aldebaran and Polaris, but a human? He would just phase through, always did, but other humans also couldn't see him.

What would happen if he touched Michael now?

"I don't-" he began but didn't know what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell Michael that of course he knew who he was, that he was scared to figure out why this was happening. That a part of him wanted to touch him so badly that he feared he wouldn't be able to let go anymore.

"Your name," Michael prompted again, but let his hand fall down into his lap again. Probably because he also didn't know what would happen.

Oh but what a loaded question that was. What should he say? Michael didn't recognize him, which meant he hadn't met this world's Gavin yet, but it also meant that he still would at some point. Of course, Gavin would also contract a demon. The demon he himself had created.

"Pollux," he finally settled on and surprised himself. But that was good, better than the alternative. He had been called that before.

"Pollux," Michael repeated as if he had to taste the strange name. Then he grinned, a boyish, carefree smile that made Gavin's heart ache. He was so familiar with it that he half expected Michael to jump up, take his hand and not let go until they were through with whatever trouble he had just thought of.

Thankfully that didn't happen.

Still, he was too close to this. He felt confused and out of his depth. Michael was watching him, had talked to him and it had been so long- No, he was starting to panic. He could feel how fast his heart was beginning to beat, how his hand grew sweaty. Right now he was doing the very same thing he shouldn't be doing. This world was already doomed, this Michael was going to die like so many others. Gavin had made sure of that already! He had made sure that it would happen sooner, maybe even in Michael's timeline!

What was he doing here? There was no time for this here, all that was waiting here was heartbreak. It was hard enough to find the strength and end a world without knowing anyone in it.

Michael must have noticed the shift in his demeanour because his smile fell. He looked worried now.

"I won't hurt you," he assured him, and Gavin couldn't help but laugh. Just once, piercing and fake.

Michael hurting him? Oh, that was funny on so many levels! Not only was he so much more powerful than him, he didn't even possess a body the other could try to hurt! Also it was Michael!

Michael who was frowning up to him now and Gavin didn't know what to say, he had forgotten all he had ever learned about talking with someone else, he did it so rarely. There was only Geoff now in all those worlds. Glimpses of Polaris maybe, but barely anything else.

Only Mahr.

Only Darkness.

"Poll-"

The disturbance ripped through him and Gavin couldn't help but gasp. That was new, something was wrong. The sudden ache felt too much like the worlds that had been tangled up and burned him from inside but he had seen that coming. This was too sudden, and Michael sat up in alarm, trying to touch him, probably as a sign of comfort, but he couldn't let that happen. He didn't know what would happen if Michael touched him, if it would hurt either of them or something and so-

So he just disappeared. He disappeared towards the stars but not fast enough. Still he could hear Michael calling for him to not go, to wait, and Gavin's heart ached.

But here it was quiet and even though his heart was still in that room, was already missing Michael there was another wave of pain that pulled him back. Not only him, he could feel Mahr wake up and flow inside of him. How they filled his insides and snapped to attention from whatever they were doing when they weren't focused on Gavin.

Something was off.

Closing his eyes Gavin searched for the disturbance and it didn't take long. It was blinding white, a scar in the night sky, and he could barely look at it, but of course, of course-

Aldebaran,

Mahr whispered in such an anger that it made Gavin shake. Or maybe he was the one being angry, sometimes it was hard to distinguish.

But it was Aldebaran indeed, Aldebaran who had rested in some world for a while now and Gavin had let him. Had let him have his damn fun there because like this they didn't bother him, but now they had done it. Had influenced the world too much, and he would have to put a stop to him now.

Destroy him.

He could. No matter how powerful Aldebaran thought he was, it was nothing against him and Gavin could wipe him clean. Just a husk until nothing was left inside it anymore.

Stepping into the world Aldebaran currently resided in another wave of disgust hit him. There on the hot sidewalk laid a child, a Ray, bleeding out. Aldebaran himself was running, was being a coward.

Gods, Gavin hated him.

"Wait!"

Polaris appeared next to him in a burst of sparks. Even he had to notice the disturbance and Gavin barely paid attention to him. This Ray wasn't supposed to die, not yet. This Ray was just a child and there was a whole life, a whole story ahead of him, but it was already crumbling away.

"Mahr," Gavin called the demon to attention but before he could finish his thought, Polaris stepped in front of him.

"Pollux, wait!" A hand against his chest, and it sent cracks up Polaris' arm. He didn't seem to notice or didn't care, something desperate in his eyes.

Gavin didn't care about that. He had turned a blind eye on the both of them for too long and now he felt the story change, felt it split and create more worlds only to get tangled in them. It was already happening, a part of him knew that. Maybe that was Mahr who saw it with his eyes, saw the way Geoff back in the In Between watched it happen from afar.

"I'll fix it," Polaris told him, but Gavin just pushed him back.

"Out of my way."

"Please! Ray didn't mean it! It was..." He seemed lost for words and didn't even dare to look down at the body. Of the boy who was dying.

"He never does, your precious Ray. He never means a single thing he does, right?" Gavin snapped at him.

Polaris opened his mouth again but nothing came out. He was all out of excuses and for a moment Gavin nearly felt sorry for him. Truth was he didn't dislike Polaris, not really. Not only had he helped end the cycle, but he had been the first who had noticed him, who had even dared to talk to him.

Gavin hadn't been sure if it was possible and even though Polaris had been furious at first, he hadn't minded. The other had every right to be angry with him.

"I warned the both of you," Gavin snapped at him. "Time and time again I warned you. That if you travel through these worlds it would be by my rules. I can't let these things happen anymore!"

"I'll fix it," Polaris just blurted out, and Gavin huffed.

"How?"

The question was probably cruel because again Polaris didn't find the words but he couldn't find it in him to care.

In his head Mahr came rushing in like waves against the shore.

Destroy them. They are just a nuisance, just a passing thought of yours.

For a moment Gavin agreed, and maybe Polaris was able to tell, maybe he could see it in his eyes or it was Mahr's presence. Because Mahr was here, their full attention in this moment and Gavin knew that all he had to do was lift his hand and it would be done.

He didn't do it, but couldn't quite tell why. Because he had learned that yes, all those things were just in his head and may be passing thoughts, but there was so much more to it. The more he learned about the worlds and the deeper he dove, the more confused he got. That couldn't come all from his mind, that was impossible. Either there was something bigger than his dreams, some kind of greater power, or the worlds had started to breath on their own.

He didn't know what case was more likely.

Polaris was still staring at him while he pondered what to do, but now he turned away and appeared next to the boy on the ground. Finally the shock about what he was seeing was hitting and Gavin could feel it sharp in the air, like a metallic stench.

The horror of seeing what they were seeing; a person they both loved bleeding out on the floor and the shock once Polaris realized that Aldebaran had done it. That he was capable to do so.

How that could be a surprise, Gavin didn't know, but he figured it was easy to pretend things aren't as bad when you wanted to. Oh, and Polaris was still so sure that he had control over Aldebaran. Gavin hoped he was right or he himself would have to step in.

Destroy them,

Mahr whispered again, but that wouldn't help. No, the disturbance was already happening and even though a punishment was due, it wasn't a solution.

"Mahr," Gavin called instead and felt the insistent darkness on his skin, the eagerness to destroy. "I wish that this Ray survives."

An angry huff escaped the demon but they obeyed. They must have realized that it would at least stop most of the disturbance.

Black water appeared beneath Gavin's skin and ate its way up to his fingers. It looked like pretty jewelry the way it entwined around his hand and it was just as cold. He hated it, he hated the cold feeling it brought with each wish, he hated the reminder that Mahr was still with him, but it was how things were.

He had given up on warmth and freedom so that the others, so that Castor could have it instead.

The boy on the ground gasped for breath and by now Polaris was sitting next to him, hands not touching but hovering above him. Now he looked up, eyes big as Gavin came closer.

There was something fearful in his demeanor now and Gavin knew that right now Mahr was so present that he could nearly see them. Their black misty body and moonlight eyes.

Yeah, healing took a lot out of both of them.

"Take Aldebaran and return to your world," he told Polaris and felt Mahr on his tongue. "This is your last warning. If you dare to go against my orders again I shall take all that is so dear important to the both of you."

There was something beneath the fearful expression now, a certain kind of defiance, of a strength that Gavin recognized. Yeah, Polaris was a special kind. Someone who had defeated death not once but twice. With the help of others maybe, but the fact still stood.

Gavin could accept that.

"Our bond is too strong. You can't break it," Polaris told him.

Gavin knew about the deal that bound Polaris, Aldebaran, Michael, and Ryan together and he knew that it was indeed very strong. But he also knew that he could take what he had created and that he could take so much more if he decided he wanted to hurt. Memories and dreams and desires. All gone if he so chose to.

He decided against explaining that to Polaris though and rather let him stew about the possibilities; that would probably be more productive. Instead Gavin turned around and disappeared.
 
Returning to the In Between became the closest feeling of home he would get. That was of course mostly because Geoff was waiting there, face tight in concern, and Gavin threw him a short smile. Once his feet hit the thin layer separating them from Mahr, he felt his knee buck though and Geoff grasped his arm to keep him up. He hadn't even realized how exhausted he was but so many things had happened. So many things always happened in so many worlds. It was hard to catch up, to take a breath but being around Geoff was grounding.

"Even I felt that pain," Geoff said and pulled him close to steady him. "Was that a disturbance? I couldn't really see it."

"Aldebaran," Gavin told him and watched as Geoff's face tightened.

"I know you don't want to hurt him, Gav, but he's causing too much trouble. You have enough other shit you gotta take care of, you can't worry about him all the time."

"He's got his last warning. Polaris as well."

"A warning might not be enough."

"I think this time it was. This time I was so angry, I wanted to destroy him. Both of them."

"Did you or was that Mahr?" Geoff asked, and suddenly Gavin didn't know anymore. He had destroyed before, he had destroyed worlds, but this right here? With Polaris and Aldebaran he felt like he was too close, and as much as he despised Aldebaran, it didn't change that it was Ray. Every time he looked at him he could hear a distant knock on glass on a stormy night. Could see Ray's silhouette in front of his window and oh, how much that had meant to him.

When Ray had knocked on his window in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm, it had been one of the first times Gavin had been able to take care of someone else. Usually it had been him that people had to protect and take care of, but not back then. No, back then Ray had been sad and lost and without knowing where his home was, and Gavin knew these feelings too well. To have Ray come to him in those times was reassuring, the fact that he was part of Ray's home.

He hadn't realized it before but a part of him had always been scared that Ray actually didn't like him. That he hung around him mostly because Michael did.

But back then Ray had come to him without fear and without Michael by his side, had trusted him enough to sleep in his bed and wear his clothes. To be this close to the Child of Misfortune even though a part of Ray was afraid of him, Gavin was sure he started to love him in that moment.

Aldebaran wasn't that person but a version of it. A twisted one with a different brooch and a different sword and a different kind of love.

Still Ray.

Gavin shook himself and Geoff squeezed his arm.

"It's okay. Sit down for now and we'll figure it out."

"Do you know the tale of Sisyphus?" Geoff asked him. Gavin was pretty sure the name rang a distant bell, but his head was so full with stories that he didn't dare to delve into it. Even if he would find it, right now he wanted to listen to stories. Laying down in this dark, dark In Between, the only form of comfort was Geoff. If it was his voice or Gavin's head in his lap.

Also he had always enjoyed Geoff's stories, but in this place it had turned around. Here he knew more stories that he would tell Geoff. Worlds he would show him if he wanted to or not.

"Sisyphus was a very, very clever king who brought greatness to his kingdom," Geoff began when he didn't answer. "He was so cunning that he did not escape death once but twice! Even though the second time was rather thanks to his wife, who was actually one of the pleiades."

"I get the feeling that everyone in your stories knows everyone. Or at least shagged everyone else," Gavin murmured. "Is that your try to compensate for anything, Geoffrey?"

He got a jab in his side and couldn't help but chuckle.

"May I remind you that I am just retelling the stories? I didn't write them down." Another jab until Gavin fully giggled. "Also you shouldn't be the one talking by the things I see in your stories. That's something we should truly talk about."

But they didn't and Geoff's hand returned to his hair, stroking through it.

"Anyway, back to Sisyphus. He did get eventually punished once the Gods managed to drag him into the Underworld." Geoff's voice lost its amusement from a moment ago and turned more sober. "King Sisyphus was forced to roll a massive boulder uphill only for it to always roll back down right before the top. A punishment that would take him all eternity and beyond."

Gavin let his eyes flutter open and stared up at the stars above. How small he was against the sheer size of the sky, the sheer amount of worlds and stories.

Geoff was looking up as well and the hand in Gavin's hair stopped.

"Sometimes this place reminds me of that story."

It did, and suddenly the weight dared to crush him again. The word eternity had such a foreboding sound to it and he wouldn't be able to take it. To start over and over again, to get rid of worlds only for new ones to appear. For Geoff to be trapped here with him just because that boulder was rolling back down, over and over again.

"I'm sorry," Gavin whispered, and finally Geoff moved again. He looked down at him and actually smiled.

"There is nothing to be sorry about, Gavin. I came here on my own accord and that for a good reason. This is not the Underworld and you are not King Sisyphus." His hand settled on Gavin's cheek now. "You are also pushing a boulder uphill and the way is long and rough, but you're not alone. And if it ever happens and you stumble or lose all strength and this fucking boulder dares to roll back down? Well, I'll be there to catch it as soon as possible, alright? That's the difference between you and King Sisyphus. You're not alone in this."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Three.
 
"You were right about the shields."

Michael's voice sent a thrill through him, mostly because the words were directed at him. Gavin stood in the corner of the kitchen where he had figured the shadows would hide him easily, but Michael had noticed him right away. A broken mug laid by his feet now but he didn't seem to mind. Thankfully it had been empty, Michael had just got it out of the cupboard to get some coffee when he had noticed Gavin standing there.

Now he was smiling at him even though Gavin had clearly scared him senseless.

This wasn't the same plain room Gavin had found him in before, this time it was a house somewhere a little further away from everything else. Michael had changed as well, more pale and lean because he was trapped in here but his eyes were still warm and awake. How many years had passed since Gavin had last visited here? Time was a hard thing to grasp while traveling and he couldn't find an answer.

He didn't even quite know what he was doing here. There was no reason to return here, his job was done in this story, but he still felt drawn here. Sometimes he had the feeling that this Michael was calling him; he could hear his own name in the void coming from somewhere far away, but he knew it was from here. From the one person who could see him.

"I didn't think I'd see you again," Michael went on, and Gavin didn't call him out on that lie. If he hadn't believed in that, why had he called for him in the night?

"Michael?" Someone asked. "Is everything alright? Who are you talking to?"

It was Ryan who stepped into the kitchen now and Gavin froze. He wasn't even sure why, it was hardly the first time he had seen Ryan around, but right now he felt closer to this story. With Michael seeing him it nearly felt like he was really here, like he should apologize for suddenly appearing like that.

Michael had also turned around and was now pointing straight at him. "Pollux just startled me."

For a second Ryan looked straight at him and Gavin couldn't help but take a step towards him. In that moment he wanted Ryan to be able to see him, to walk up to him and have a talk, to play some chess.

Then Ryan's eyebrows rose and he turned his attention back to Michael.

Gavin's shoulders fell and in the corner of his eye he could see the same happening to Michael.

"I wish I could show you what I see," Michael sighed and bent down to pick up the shards of the mug.

"It's just kinda hard to believe."

"Even after being in the Nether?"

Ryan pulled a face but didn't answer. He stepped closer to help Michael, maybe as a peace offering, and while they worked nobody said a thing. Still, here and there Ryan's eyes were scanning the kitchen, passing over Gavin without actually seeing him.

He wanted to flee then because he felt awkward and out of place watching them work there, but then Ryan left the kitchen again and Michael smiled.

"Sorry about that."

As if he hadn't noticed the look Ryan had thrown him, but of course he had. Did he just not mind?

"Doesn't it bother you that they can't see me? If you continue to talk to me they'll think you mad," Gavin found himself saying and Michael laughed.

"Sometimes I think I am going mad with all the shit I dream and see in mirrors," he admitted. "The fact that I can actually talk to you helps, I think. Or it just means I'm getting worse."

He laughed again, short and awkward, and turned away. He was back to preparing himself a cup of coffee and Gavin watched him, a little stunned. This would be the perfect moment to disappear, to leave this world behind once and for all because beyond the walls Ryan was talking to someone. Who? Geoff or Jack? Maybe both, maybe it didn't matter, but they were listening now and could only hear Michael's side.

If Gavin was gone Michael couldn't talk to him anymore and maybe would forget him altogether. Why didn't he leave then?

"Come with me," Michael said and Gavin followed without hesitation. Out of the kitchen and up a flight of stairs until Michael opened the door to his room for him. There wasn't much space inside but Michael nodded towards the single chair in the corner of the room. Next to it was a desk and Michael placed his coffee on it before sitting on the bed.

A bit awkwardly, Gavin sat down as well and then he realized that Michael was actually still holding a cup in his hands. He must have prepared a second one for Gavin himself and flabbergasted Gavin stared at the cup.

"Didn't know how you drink it or if you can even... you know, touch it or whatever." Michael shrugged and Gavin couldn't help himself. He burst into fits of laughter, a hand pressed to his chest to feel his heart beating.

"I actually don't know either," he admitted, and Michael grinned at him. As if they were old friends, as if they had known each other for years now. Like he had been the one who had pulled him into the bushes in the garden an eternity ago.

The one who had held him so tight so that Mahr wouldn't be able to take him in the end.

Gods, how he loved him for that. How he wished he could tell Michael that, to see him and Ray one more time and take their guilt. There was no reason to feel such a way.

"Gavin," Michael called him, and he shook the memory off.

"Yeah?"

Michael just smiled in triumph. "Figured that was your name. I met a guy that looks exactly like you, just a couple years older. His name is Gavin and he actually should be down the hallway if you want to check on him or something. But his name is also Gavin, so I guess that's... this world's Gavin? You're the Gavin from another world, right?"

"That's one way to put it."

"Fucking complicated, that's how I would put it. Should I still call you Pollux?"

Gavin hesitated, then he nodded. He feared it would hurt having Michael call him by name.

"Why can I see you?" Michael asked next. "Nobody else can. Nobody else can see what I see. Is that because of Triella?"

A bit surprised Gavin looked up but that was an excellent question. Was it really thanks to Triella? He had seen multiple worlds in which Michael had contracted her, but never had he been able to see him or other worlds. There had to be another reason.

"I am not sure," he admitted but found himself curious by that little mystery. He would have to think about it some more. "What I can tell you is that Triella is very powerful, so maybe it is her."

Michael was watching him as if he was searching for a lie, but Gavin wasn't lying.

To be honest he had never really paid too much attention to Triella. She never caused any problems and she and Michael went together well. Of course, both were born to protect.

She was a very powerful demon, at first he hadn't really considered that, but over time he had noticed that about her. She could block every other demon Gavin had ever seen thrown at her, regardless of it was Lightbringer's flames or Sichora's strings. Even Edgar's sheer power was rejected by her shields.

Sometimes he wondered if she could've even locked Mahr out.

"When I use her shields it gets worse," Michael went on. "When I really, really want to see something from these other worlds I just have to concentrate really, really hard on the shields and it's like I... I am slipping from one reality to another."

Michael threw him an unsure glance, but for a moment Gavin didn't answer. He thought about his words some more and reached for the mug by his side. His fingers were able to touch but it was like nothing was there. No heat from the coffee, no smooth surface and so he let his hand fall back down.

"I’ve met people who are able to travel through different worlds using their demons," he began. "Not many, but it is possible. Right now it doesn't sound like you're traveling as much as you can open windows to look through. You are able to see differently than other people because of Triella."

He had felt a disturbance coming from this world before, right? It must have been Michael after he contracted Triella. During his training or when he really needed the shields Triella had strengthened them so much that she might have created a pocket dimension. A small reality inside this world that connected to other stories. There were a bunch of worlds close by, it should be easy.

When Gavin looked up Michael was staring at him. He looked relieved most of all.

"Nobody from Pandora believed me when I told them about it. They said it was something like post traumatic stress disorder, an allergic reaction to my demon or shit like that. But I saw it! I saw things and people and other me's! I saw them so clearly that sometimes I was sure I could talk to them but until now you were the only one."

Michael's eyes were big and curious as they traveled back to him.

"Who are you, Pollux?"

"I have many names among the worlds," Gavin told him. He folded his hands in his lap and watched them, that was easier than looking at Michael. "But I guess you could say I am one of the people who use their demons to travel."

"You have a demon?" Michael asked and Gavin wrung his hands together. The dark lines from his last wish were prominent on the back of his hand, would be up his arm. They were all wrapped around him now. Now that he had nothing left to lose he could wish freely as long as Mahr found it fitting for their cause.

The agreement was still etched into him though, and sometimes they scared Gavin when he thought about it. Technically he didn't have a body anymore so the dark lines were staining his very soul, freezing him to the core if Mahr chose so.

It was a disgusting thought.

"Are you also from Yevetal?" Michael went on and nodded to the very lines. "Our Gavin is. His whole back is full with those tattoos but he didn't manage to contract the right demon."

"He contracted Lightbringer," Gavin said, and didn't even check to see if Michael nodded. He already knew that much because that was something that never changed. But marks all over his back? Did Yevethal want to contract Mahr? It could be, Geoff had told him that he had found that place in his own research. They had specialized in demons and the Nether, so they might just know about Mahr.

Shaking his head, he focused back on Michael.

"I'm not from Yevethal. That place does exist in my world but I've never been there. My home isn't around anymore."

Michael's eyes flitted to his cloak and he nodded. "Must be a big shock to see a world like this after that."

"You get used to it after a few times," Gavin told him, and Michael huffed in amusement. They fell silent for a moment and Gavin could tell that the other wanted to ask more, that he was brimming with questions that Gavin maybe knew the answers to. But some things were better left untouched and he couldn't fill Michael in too much.

Michael was already powerful thanks to Triella and Gavin could see him travelling in the future if he wanted to. He already had to worry enough about the other travelers as it was.

Still, he couldn't just ignore Michael, because Michael could see him. Michael could talk to him. Michael had made him fucking coffee, for God's sake!

"Sorry for bothering you so much," Michael said when the silence grew too heavy. "But you're literally the only one I can talk to about this all. Pandora doesn't really give a shit as long as I do my work and while Jack and Gavin believe me when I tell them that I'm seeing all kinds of shit, that doesn't mean they can help me. Maybe later. I think I could make a shield strong enough to take them with me and show them. That might be possible, I really think so. I wanna give that a try."

He shouldn't. It would just lead to other disturbances. Bigger ones when Michael decided to take someone else with him and Gavin couldn't have that.

"It's dangerous," he told him. "You could get stuck in another world in which you don't exist, in which the

you

shouldn't exist. A different version maybe, but not you. You'd be a walking paradox."

"Like you?"

Gavin hesitated. Like him? Yeah, maybe. He also was stuck in these worlds and couldn't get back home. There was only the In Between for him and Geoff of course. Geoff who brought a piece of his home to Gavin, so he wouldn't go insane.

Geoff who was trapped as long as Gavin didn't finish his mission, and the thought made him stand up abruptly. Michael actually flinched, nearly spilling his own coffee over his hand.

"Pollu-"

"I gotta go." He couldn't let Geoff wait any longer, he couldn't waste his time in this doomed world. That wouldn't be fair for either of them.

Michael paled and reached out as if to grasp him, but Gavin took a step back until he hit the desk behind him. He hadn't felt the warmth of the coffee and whenever he touched Polaris the other began to shatter. He didn't know what would happen to Michael, who wasn't even meant to know he existed.

"Wait, plea-"

"I can't." There was too much to do, too many stories that needed an ending.
 
The snowfall was so heavy that the world around was completely white. In this pale environment the dark brown cloak of the woman should stand out, but it didn't. It was a helpless speck of color that would get wiped away soon.

That this woman had made it so far out to where he was was a miracle in itself. When Pollux found a world ending he usually searched for a place far off from any humans. He didn't want to see them or hear them as the sky fell and the stars, those connections to other worlds, suddenly vanished. In that moment right before everything sank into eternal darkness, into Mahr, there weren't many different emotions and Gavin had already known them all. This thick fear that blocked everything else out felt like tar that wouldn't let him go and the taste of desperation was bitter.

There was no reason for him to watch this here, really. He didn't interfere when worlds were ending, figured he should just let them end naturally and at their own pace. Still, it was fascinating and different each time and he couldn't help himself but watch it.

Or is it because a part of you wants to feel this pain as some kind of punishment?

"I really don't need any insight on my mind from you," Gavin told them as Mahr enveloped him. Sometimes it felt like a weight so heavy that it would crush him easily but right now it was rather a cloak against the cold. A shroud of darkness to hide him away.

That was comforting because it kept the snow away and Gavin still hated the snow.

"I can see through the eyes of every human with wishes and dreams," Gavin explained to the woman as she collapsed at his feet. She was pressing something wrapped in fur against her chest, maybe a baby. Whatever it was it was already dead and she knew it, even if she wanted to pretend not to.

"I see a lot and sometimes all it needs for a world to end is a nudge to the wrong person at the right time. A simple wish."

"Please," the woman whispered. The snow was already covering her, had covered the whole world and it wouldn't stop. It would never stop because there was nothing more disheartening than endless cold. It froze the hearts of people and burned deep in their bones.

Gavin watched as the woman offered her child to him, a useless effort because he could do a lot but not bring back the dead.

"Please God, oh please save her!"

She couldn't see him, nobody besides Michael could, but maybe she could feel his or Mahr's presence. There was a moment before death right when the soul prepared to pass on where nearly everything was possible. Where humans could see so much more without the restriction of their eyes.

"Am I God?" Gavin asked and Mahr wrapped tighter around him. Like arms in a nearly lovely embrace but he wouldn't be fooled. Mahr didn't know a thing about love and still he allowed it.

At times like these he needed every comfort he could get his hands on.

Why not? If you chose that as your title. It's as good as any other.

True. It didn't mean a thing. Just another word that humans used in their search for meaning or worse, to push their responsibility away from themselves. A single word with whatever meaning the one muttering it chose, a word that brought so much pain over so many worlds. Useless.

Gavin had created these worlds and now he ended them as it was his right, as he should if he ever wanted to free Geoff. If there was ever a hope for him to get separated from Mahr.

The baby wrapped in furs and blankets fell from the shaking grip as the woman died and if Gavin could, he would lay it back in her arms so that they could be together now. He didn't though, and after a while he chose to lift his gaze instead. Up into the clouds until all he could see was the white flakes fall on top of him and burying the last of life around.

Mahr was still there, wrapped around him and made sure that none of them hit his skin. They didn't talk, and that was a blessing because he didn't need their teasing at times like these. At least Mahr usually kept quiet as a world died, they just sat on his shoulder and watched along with him.

Sometimes Gavin wondered what the other felt then, but he never found the strength and courage to ask. He wasn't quite sure why, either because Mahr would actually enjoy this or worse, they wouldn't. What if they felt the same as Gavin? He feared they were growing closer and closer now that they had a similar goal. He feared he and Mahr understood each other more and more.

Gavin waited until all was said and done, until he could feel the last breath leave this world and when he closed his eyes then, he could still see phantom snow behind the lids.

How awful.

"I don't want to go back," he whispered to Mahr and he shouldn't. Showing weakness to his demon had never worked out, but he was wearing thin. He was wearing thin and the way in front of him was still long.

Geoff is there

, Mahr just offered, and Gavin nodded.

That was the reason in the first place. Geoff could see those worlds as well, not as clear and consistent as Gavin himself, but if Geoff wanted to, he could watch him. He feared Geoff would see him like this, this cold unmoving force that ended lives so easily.

It was needed they both knew that because otherwise the world's would tangle and crash and end so much more but that didn't change a lot. At times like this Gavin felt too much like Mahr themselves, and he didn't want that. He wanted to keep being himself, but it was slipping from him. It was slipping away and he didn't have the strength to keep it together.

What if he'd go back and Geoff would watch him with judging eyes or wouldn't recognize him anymore? It had nearly killed Gavin the first time that had happened, but now? Now when the two of them were the only beings in their own world?

What if Geoff didn't want to stay with him anymore, but was kept imprisoned? What if Geoff regretted ever searching for him?

The thought hurt and with the hurt came Mahr's darkness to numb him. Right now he nearly welcomed it.

There was another disturbance somewhere in the skies, and Gavin sighed. It would at least be an excuse to not return to Geoff right away, but Gods, he was so tired. At least it was far away, didn't feel too strong. Maybe he could take another moment, another breath of this dying world before it sank an-

"Pollux?"

Gavin spun around but found nobody. Still, a shiver worked down his spine. There was nothing quite as horrifying as being alone in a world and hearing someone calling your name.

There was nobody here anymore and still he knew that it had been Michael. Even Mahr had snapped to attention at the noise so it hadn't been only in his head.

"He's asleep, isn't he?" Gavin said and listened to the echoes of his name. They sounded far away, like from the bottom of a well or from beneath some water.

Dreamwalker

, Mahr just said before disappearing to wherever they went when they didn't sit on Gavin's shoulder.

"I see. He's stronger when he's not held captive by his body."

What a curious creature and so very powerful if shaped right. Even now Gavin could feel another disturbance before Michael's voice reached him.

"Everything okay?"

That made Gavin smile and without another glance at the world he followed the call, and sure enough he found Michael, curled up in his bed. His face was drawn in concentration but he was still asleep. His body was resting while giving his soul free roam.

Gavin reached out and wanted to shake him awake before he stopped himself. Careless, he was growing so careless around this boy, and that wasn't right.

Just a heartbeat later Michael sat up, eyes bright red, and Gavin let his hand fall back to his side.

Triella was watching him before returning to the depths of Michael's consciousness.

"You're already here?" Michael asked him, voice hoarse from sleep.

"You called me."

"Because I dreamed you were in pain. You were standing in a snowfield and I thought you were badly hurt or something, I don't know."

Gavin stared at him and felt his heart soften.

"Regulus," he whispered, and Michael blinked the sleep from his eyes.

"What?"

"Regulus is the brightest star in the constellation Leo," he explained. "Some call it the heart of the lion."

Michael still stared up to him before he shook his head to truly wake up. "It's like in the middle of the night. Not the ideal time for your mystic bullshit, alright?"

Gavin snorted and took the time to look around. Michael was right, it had to be well into the night. The only light coming into the small room was from the moon outside and even when he focused on it, he couldn't hear any other noises coming from the house.

"Sorry for disturbing you so late."

"No, no. I kinda did call you. I think." Michael frowned. "I don't know half of the time what I'm doing when I'm sleeping, but I know that."

"Are you dreaming?"

"The freakiest shit. About other worlds and other people I know in this world. I saw some places that were completely empty and I felt like I wandered them for weeks without another living soul there. It's scary." The last part came out too vulnerable, too soft. Like most words around this time of the day, and after some hesitation Gavin sat down on the edge of the bed. Close enough that he feared they might touch if they weren't careful but he couldn't bring himself to scoot away. It looked like Michael needed the comfort, as little as it may be.

"Things are happening around here and it's all fucked up," Michael went on and twisted his blanket in his fist. "Ray is gone now, Ray doesn't live here anymore, and it's gotten worse since then. I dream nearly every night and sometimes it's so hard to wake up again. The others have to shake me and call me and all kinds of crap."

He fell quiet, biting on his lips and Gavin felt sorry for him.

"Where is Ray?"

Michael's eyes darted to him and they were sharp. Sharper than he had ever seen him before. Protective. Ah, there was something about Ray. Ray was hidden away or something close to it, Gavin could feel it in the air, and he smiled to himself. Michael was already sharing a lot with him, a lot about himself, and he did seem to trust him, if only because he was desperate to talk with someone about those things.

But when it was about Ray? About someone he had to protect? All his walls came up then, a defensive demeanour that Gavin wouldn't even dare to try and break.

"It's fine. Not really my business," Gavin assured him and raised his hands. "There's no need to tell me."

Michael fixated him for a moment longer before he turned away again. The moonlight was cutting a sharp edge to his face.

"Somebody will come here to investigate, an agent of Pandora, and I don't want them here," he went on. "This is the last fucking place of peace we have and now they'll watch our every fucking movement. I hope I don't fuck up when I sleep."

He bit down hard on his bottom lip and if Gavin could he would lay a hand on his for comfort. Instead he just inched closer, to at least create a sense of closeness, as if they weren't worlds apart.

"I sleepwalk," Michael whispered. "And I talk during that. I run my stupid fat mouth when I shouldn't, and what if I tell this guy where Ray is? What if I tell him that we all were in on it and all of us get punished? Gavin isn't called often for missions and Pandora hates Geoff. They would be the first to go and we would surely all be separated. Just because of me."

"It won't happen. I can make sure of it," Gavin found himself saying. and Michael just huffed.

"You can't change how my brain works."

Only that he could. It would be nothing more than a simple wish, something so small that Mahr probably wouldn't even protest. Maybe it wouldn't be for their cause but if Gavin would ask nicely-

"Lets just hope this Dooley guy is an idiot."

The name rang a bell, but Gavin actually needed a moment. He had never called him that, no need to because he had always been-

"Jeremy?"

Michael turned back towards him before he nodded. "I think so, yeah."

Jeremy was a strange soul, some kind of black horse that Gavin sometimes caught glimpses of. Like back when he had been alive Jeremy had been a friend until the end he hadn't even counted on. But he had been there when Gavin had searched for a way out, and Geoff had told him a lot of stories about him following Gavin's death.

Now in that sky of worlds he was also around. Mostly not as prominent as the others, but there. Because Jeremy hadn't been part of his first wish? But Ryan hadn't either and he seemed tightly bound to the others.

There was a different kind of feeling around Jeremy whenever Gavin met him, one he couldn't quite place. But Jeremy had never been the enemy, not once.

"It's fine then. Jeremy is on your side," he told Michael and then, like an afterthought, “Jeremy was at the lake back then.”

"He's absolutely not on our side. We have to be so careful and if I screw it up..." Michael trailed off with a loud groan and leaned back until his shoulders hit the wall. He stirred into the emptiness then, worried and angry at himself.

Gavin could take this all from him, could change everything that was happening with a few words but he kept his lips shut. This was meant to happen, this was how the story was meant to play out, and he wasn't here to interfere. It probably wouldn't change all too much but he could never know.

"Triella is meant to protect, you are meant to protect, Michael," he just said. "You won't sell anyone out who's close to you, not even during your sleep. I'm sure of it."

"I hope you're right..."

Gavin opened his mouth to hopefully assure him further when he felt another disturbance and fell quiet. Someone was entering this world and for a moment he couldn't tell who it was.

"You have to go, don't you?" Michael asked, and Gavin realized that he had just sat there, listening for something familiar and with his gaze impossibly far away.

"I don't even really know who you are or rather

what

, but there are more important matters out there than my little problems," Michael said with a smile and Gavin wanted to tell him that this wasn't the case. That after all those worlds and stars and responsibilities on his shoulders, Michael was a breath of fresh air. Something different after all that darkness.

"This world with the endless snow I saw in my dreams tonight... was that a real place?"

"A dead world somewhere far away."

"Will this world also end up like that?"

Not quite like that but maybe worse. Snow was merciless and once the cold settled it would all soon be over. Here though? Once the demons were tired of their game and would decide to take matters into their own hands this world might just become a second Nether. A place where humans would have to run and hide and live in fear.

All because of him.

"Not in snow and ice," Gavin just said and hoped that Michael wouldn't ask further. He feared he might just break and tell him everything, tell him that it was his fault and that he was sorry. He was sorry that he had created this world only for it to end by his hand again, that it wasn't fair, but he had to do it. If he ever wanted to escape this In Between, if he ever wanted Geoff to be free again-

God, what kind of mess had he ended up in?

"Okay." Michael smiled, and like this his face was pale in the moonlight. Gavin liked that more than the sharp edge of darkness and light, it was clearer, more fitting for Michael.

"Go then. There are other worlds than these."
 
Gavin found Polaris sitting on the roof of the motel he had just been in. Gavin sat down in a spot of moonlight next to him.

"You were talking to this Michael," Polaris said right away, something like disbelieve in his voice. "I never saw you do that before."

"I'm also usually not able to talk to anyone, but this Michael could see me."

"People can only see me when I decide to be seen."

"I bet this Michael would be able to see you anyway. He's a special case." For a moment Gavin fell silent, before he muttered, "I think he might be Regulus."

"So he will travel as well?"

"I try to stop him from that."

Polaris watched him curiously, but Gavin kept his gaze locked on the sky above. The other was wearing a very familiar green scarf and sometimes Gavin just wanted to rip it from around the other's neck and have it for himself.

"Is it because of Triella? She appears very strong here."

Now Gavin couldn't help but turn towards him. Right, Polaris had more experience with Triella simply because his Michael had contracted her while Gavin had never met her before traveling through the stories.

"Does she?"

"Well, back at home she was around of course, even when Michael didn't use her," Polaris explained with an excited smile on his face. "Like a cat! She was always close to Michael or Lindsay and used her power when necessary, but even then I couldn't feel her presence as strong as here." He frowned. "Maybe just because I was used to her back home?"

Gavin shook his head. "I don't think so. There are a few similarities with the Nether in the different worlds. You always contract Lightbringer because of obvious reasons and Michael always contracts Triella."

"Because they are a perfect fit?" Polaris asked.

"I do believe so. After all, once you're in the Nether there are dozens of demons who want to form a contract with you, but ultimately you have the choice. Granted, you are usually not in the right mindset, but besides that, the better the fit the more powerful the both of you can become."

He pointed to Polaris. "It's the same for you, isn't it? You became more powerful in using your gift once you understood who Lightbringer truly was. You are even able to travel the worlds thanks to their powers."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Just that this Michael and this Triella formed a stronger bond than those in other worlds, which allows them to grow stronger together."

"My Michael could form a stronger bond," Polaris said and folded his arms in front of his chest. It made Gavin laugh.

"I'm sure he could, but he doesn't have to. Currently there is a time of peace in your world and no need for Michael to actively use Triella, while this Michael here has to use her on a regular basis."

Polaris pondered over that for a while, his eyes locked on his own feet and how they dangled over the edge.

"Triella is always able to create unbreakable shields," Gavin went on. "But this one is strong enough to create some form of pocket dimension, a different realm inside her shields. And I don't think that's all she might be able to do."

"I think that makes sense," Polaris mumbled before shaking his head. "At least I believe so. Sometimes I feel like none of this makes any form of sense." He let his gaze travel until he frowned. "I don't like this world. I don't like worlds that use the portal. It feels like they didn't learn a bloody thing from the past."

"If you look deep enough every world is like that. We never learn."

Polaris huffed and wrapped his cloak tighter around himself. The thing was ripped and dirty but he didn't seem to mind.

"I came here because I sensed danger that's coming this Michael's way," Polaris explained to him and Gavin couldn't help but shiver. He didn't want anything to happen to Michael and once he realized that, a feeling of dread came over him.

He had already doomed this world so of course Michael wouldn't survive. There was a chance that tragedy wouldn't come during Michael's lifetime but deep inside he didn't think so.

"Triella is with him," he found himself saying and wasn't sure if he was trying to assure himself or Polaris. "You don't need to stick around and watch over him."

In the corner of his eye he could tell that Polaris was watching him but he couldn't face him, not now.

"Also didn't I tell you to go back home? You and Aldebaran are just messing with the worlds and it's annoying."

The threat fell short because his heart wasn't behind his words, not right now. Not while he was so worried over Michael that he even considered allowing him to travel, if only to escape his end here.

"I'll take Ray and return soon," Polaris said and then quieter, "After this."

"I think I heard that before coming from you."

"I'm serious this time. I am very, very tired, Pollux. I'm tired of all this pain and just watching it because I can't interfere, either because I'm not as powerful as I wish I was or because I know that it will just end up worse. I'm tired of being too late to save Michael, but most of all I'm tired of being homesick."

He looked up to Gavin, something so very earnest in his green eyes.

"Time is moving on back home and I fear I'm missing out. I fought so hard to have my place there, to build up my family. I know I can help here, I can protect Michael in these worlds because I owe him as much, but my place isn't here. My place is at home together with Ray, not out here in this sea of stories."

"You have the luxury to go back home. If you wish so then you should," Gavin told him. He hoped his voice didn't sound as tense as it felt, because right now he was angry. Angry that Polaris had the choice and hadn't taken it already. Angry that Polaris had what he himself had been denied and still he thought about not going there.

How selfish.

Polaris gaze traveled back down to where Michael was and Gavin just huffed.

"I'll watch over him if you are so worried over Michael."

"You are not able to go home yourself." It wasn't even a question and Gavin hated him even more for that. He balled his hands too tight fists, twisting in his cloak. Not green like the one Geoff had gifted him back then but dark with the dust of ended worlds on it. No scarf either.

"Or is it that your home doesn't exist anymore?"

"On some plane of time it still does. I'm just not allowed to go there," Gavin muttered and felt the familiar darkness nestle in his heart. He wasn't even sure anymore it was coming from Mahr or himself at this point.

"I am very sorry to hear that, Pollux."

"I don't need your pity," burst out of him before he could stop it, and then he chided himself. That was stupid and uncalled for. Wasn't he past his emotions and his bitterness? He should be, and still he nearly ripped his cloak with his grip.

Polaris' knowing eyes were still on him and he feared they could search too deep and know too much.

"Return home, lost boy, and take your puppy with you," Gavin told him brashly and hated each word that came out of his mouth. It sounded too much like Mahr for his taste. "This Michael right here is under my protection so forget about him."

For a while everything remained quiet and Gavin kept his gaze fixed on the moon to not look at the other. It was nearly a full moon and the light was cold and bright enough to burn in his eyes. Still he didn't avert his gaze because the heart he shouldn't possess anymore was beating harshly. He didn't want this. He didn't want to push the few people he could still communicate with away, but he had to.

If he wanted to protect Geoff- if he wanted to free him one day he couldn't get distracted.

The wind was rushing through the forest around and for the longest time it was the only noise here. So when Polaris actually stood, Gavin flinched.

There were sparks in the corner of his eye and that finally made him turn to the other.

It came from the green scarf that would turn to wings soon enough, because Polaris was actually preparing to travel, to just leave him here and an irrational panic took hold of him.

"Wha-"

"You're right. It's time to go home," Polaris said and when he looked down to him, his eyes were pitch black. "If you look after this Michael there is no more reason for me to stay here. I told myself that this was the last world, the last time I would interfere, and I meant it. I realized that while I was saving some, I was hurting those closest to me, Ray especially, and at home I'm missing out. God alone knows what's happening there and I should be there. It's my place to be."

Gavin stared at him. Sparks were spreading now and there was fire beneath Polaris' skin but he couldn't feel the warmth, so he reached out, had to assure that this was really happening. Once his hand grasped the green cloak it sprang into the familiar spider cracks because that was forbidden. It was forbidden for him to interact with anyone walking the earthy plane, even more so with himself.

He was Pollux and the others were Castor. He could watch, could see and be reunited like that, but nothing more.

Just like the brothers, and he let his hand fall back down.

Don't go. He didn't say it because it wouldn't be right but the words sat there, right at the back of his throat.

"I have one more question though and I was hoping you could maybe tell me before I go." Polaris smiled, all the warmth and freedom that Gavin had gifted him in it. "Before when we talked you said that only me and Michael constantly contract the same demon... does that mean there are different demons for the others?"

"Not often but I've seen it."

"So there are worlds in which Ray never contracted Sichora?"

Gavin nodded and watched as Polaris’ shoulders slumped.

"That is... that is very good to know. Thank you." He took a step ahead, his cloak now flames and still Gavin wanted to grasp it, even if it would hurt.

"Good bye, Pollux. I hope you'll find your peace."

And then he was gone. Just like that.

As quickly as he had appeared in the sky of stories he was leaving it and all that remained was an after image of his glow, of the warmth of his fire. Gavin stared ahead, scared to blink and lose that warmth, no matter how unreachable it had been.

After a while it was still gone and he sat there alone in the night, the hand that had dared to reach out useless in his lap and he closed his eyes.

If he concentrated on it he could still feel Polaris. Of course, they would go and find Aldebaran first so that they could both return. That was all good and well, now the both of them wouldn't interfere anymore. That's what he had wanted, right?

Why was his body so heavy then? So heavy that he couldn't even move, and he curled into himself.

Mahr returned then, curious about his mood, but also a bit alarmed. The demon stayed quiet though, no wicked comments, just a silent support and right now Gavin didn't even care.

It was a weak blessing if at all because in the end this would be all that remained. Him and Mahr together in the dark. How hopeless.

That's how he felt right now because even if Polaris and Aldebaran had bothered him, they had been

there

. Had been alive and around. Polaris was even someone he could talk to, the opposite of him who at least grasped some of what was going on. Who had been so angry at first, and Gavin had welcomed it. Some anger towards himself for causing all of this.

It had never been his intention, but what did that matter in the end? The damage was done and it hurt the people he loved most and people he didn't even know. People he didn't dare to get a closer look at before ending their world because if he did, he wasn't sure what he would feel.

Now Polaris was gone and all that remained was this Michael here and Geoff. Always Geoff.

I don't understand why you feel sad. You got what you wanted.

"Because it feels lonely," he whispered. "It was the right thing to do but with every world and star I cut away and end, I'll grow more and more lonely. What remains in the end when I'm through? Just you and me."

King Ramsey as well.

"No," Gavin interrupted him. "I can't allow that."

Mahr fell silent but Gavin could feel the confusion coming from them. That was fine, Mahr was often overwhelmed by his emotions.

"I want Geoff to be able to pass on, to rest once this is all over. He doesn't deserve being stuck in this in between with me."

That's not what King Ramsey wished for. It would go against his own wish.

"You also went against my wish when you brought Geoff here. I wanted him to live, not to join me," Gavin snapped at Mahr. Of course he was grateful and having Geoff here made everything bearable. It still wasn't right. Geoff should be free and not trapped alongside with him.

"Geoff's wish was to see me and to help me. He did both of those, I don't see why there would be a conflict."

For a long moment Mahr didn't answer him and all Gavin could do was breathe in the cold night air. The moon disappeared behind a cloud and the total darkness around strengthened Mahr's presence. Gavin was nearly sure that if he turned his head he could see them sitting there but he refused. Polaris had been in that place just a few minutes before and the symbolic of it all was too much at such a late hour.

King Ramsey wouldn't agree with your decision.

"Since when do you care about that," Gavin spat. If he would be in another mindset he would actually laugh at that. Mahr was many things but certainly not considerate.

"I'm not saying I want Geoff gone now but I want the option to free him from this prison, Mahr."

I don't see why I should grant you that wish, dead boy. You have nothing more I'm interested in.

"How about if you don't do as I say, I will stop cleansing the sky of stories. What if I just let it all crash down at once? It would destroy you, right? Or at least that would be a possibility. That's what you are so scared of."

It would also destroy you,

Mahr said and then, like and afterthought,

and King Ramsey as well
.

Ah, the same old stalemate. Gavin was so sick of it and with a sigh he pressed his face against his knees.

"No wish then. How about a promise to me, Mahr? Do you know what a promise is?"

The demon didn't answer, but Gavin already knew. After all the demon had watched through his eyes how he had made innocent promises with Ray and Michael. Had watched through so many other eyes.

"I don't come to you as your host or a king or a-"

A God, dead boy?

For a moment Gavin hesitated but then he nodded.

"Or as a God, whatever you want to call this being I am. I come to you as the boy under the tree, the boy you caught when I entered the Nether. Isn't that worth something?"

He held out his hand as if he expected the demon to take it and actually shake it. He didn't know if Mahr was capable of that but that didn't matter. That's how he had learned to seal a promise and that meant Mahr had learned so as well. For now all that came from the demon was a stunned silence.

During a different time Gavin would've never dared to propose something like that because he couldn't trust Mahr. In here, in this In Between it was different. After all this time he didn't fear their trickery anymore, didn't think the demon could fool him anymore.

For that they were too close now.

"So what is it, Mahr? Do you promise?"

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Four.
 
Gavin was pulled into a tight hug before he had fully arrived in the In Between and he was desperate for it. For the contact, for proof that he wasn't alone, because it felt like it. More so than ever now that Polaris was on their way back.

So he held on and buried his head in Geoff's shoulder. Even after all this time it smelled like his expensives perfumes and his cloak was soft to the touch because time didn't truly exist here. That was good and Gavin took deep breaths until the ache in his chest eased a little.

"One of the worlds ended a bit ago," Geoff told him. "I watched it fall and burn up beneath. But what happened after? I couldn't really see but I think-"

"Polaris," Gavin mumbled and closed his eyes. "I dealt with him and Aldebaran." He squeezed tighter to feel at home as well. "They won't bother us anymore."

For a long while Geoff didn't answer but Gavin felt his breath ruffle his hair. That was enough comfort for now and closing his eyes, he buried deeper into Geoff's hug.

"Did they go back to their own world?" Geoff asked after a while, something reluctantly in his tone, as if he was scared of the question or the answer to it. How strange.

When Gavin nodded he felt Geoff relax and he was pressed even closer.

"Okay, bud. Okay, that's good then. One less problem to worry about."

"Yeah," Gavin muttered and then let go to look upwards. Above them the stars shone brightly, glimmering in the darkness, and it was still overwhelming to look at. He wondered if that would ever change. There would come the day, right? The day when he'd look up and see the work he's done.

There were hints of it already, places where he knew had been stars before. If he continued to plant the seed of destruction everywhere he wouldn't have to take care of it anymore. He wouldn't even have to watch the worlds die. They would do it on their own and he would only notice once he took a look up. So if he kept his head down and carried on one day he would be able to look up and see what he had done.

Geoff laid a warm hand on his face and turned him back towards him and away from the night.

"There is progress, Gavin. Even if it's slow, we have time. We have all the time in the world."

That was true, but he didn't want that. He was growing impatient because this work was hard and he was scared and exhausted. He also wanted to hurry up to find an ending, to escape from this In Between and see what came next. Even if it might meant sinking into Mahr beneath and fading.

"I want to go on another run," he told Geoff and already the other frowned. "I want to travel to a couple worlds and end them. Then I'll take a break."

"I never like it when you stay away for too long. I worry about you." Geoff's hands wandered to his shoulders and squeezed. "You go to a place I can't reach and it's dangerous."

"Nothing can hurt me, Geoff."

"We both know there are different types of hurt. Just because we don't have a body doesn't mean we can't be hurting."

Gavin bit down on his lip but he wouldn't back down, not with this.

"It's what I have to do."

"Gav-"

"I did it before!"

"And we both know how you came back from those runs!"

How did he? He couldn't remember anymore or didn't want to. Time was wobbly and there were too many things happening all at once, sometimes it was hard to remember.

"I'll do it," he just said, but couldn't look directly into Geoff's eyes. The other was just worried, he knew that but it was for the best. As much as it hurt, he couldn't go on at the speed right now. They would stay here for eternity, just like King Sisyphus.

Geoff sighed but didn't push. They both knew that there was another reason why Geoff wasn't fond of the idea. With Gavin gone he was completely alone here and
that
made Gavin worried.

Nobody besides them could reach this place but Mahr. Mahr might be able to whisper to Geoff in here. Their contract wasn't as tightly knit as his, but still, Mahr had granted Geoff's wish for an exchange. Geoff had been able to hear Mahr's call.

"Just be careful," Geoff whispered. "And come back before it gets too heavy."

"I will." He squeezed Geoff's arms before stepping back until they weren't touching anymore. He was just about to travel when Geoff called his name once more.

"Your eyes," he told him. "They are changing, Gavin. Don't lose yourself."

Reaching up Gavin touched the skin beneath his eyes before he shivered. He was glad he couldn't see himself in a mirror because he didn't want to know how green or silver his eyes were. He didn't want to see all the black marks that had been carved into his soul and remember the wishes he had made.

As a child he had wished for a fresh batch of cookies, but now it was the destruction of worlds.

Oh, what a big joke.

"I'll try." He disappeared before Geoff could tell that he didn't sound as sure as he wanted to.
 
So he traveled through more worlds. Old ones that reminded him of home and where one wrong word could cost you your head. He let kingdoms crumple with a careless slip of a tongue from the right person and watched cities burn because of a pretty woman.

How useless.

The more modern ones were even easier. Humans who played with powers they barely grasped, least of all understood, just like the Nether portal. Things that he could influence so carelessly and watch it all burn down. Weapons that could cause such horrid destruction and should've never been developed. Oh, but men were simple minded and proud.

At least it made Gavin's work easier and when he bent down to whisper into the ear of someone who thought himself immortal, he was sure to show them how wrong they were.

It was easier when he did only look at those people. The greedy and loud ones and as he lead them to the wrong way he nearly enjoyed it. It left him with a giddy kind of feeling that probably came from Mahr. Yeah, he could imagine the demon sitting like that on his shoulder during his childhood and laughing as Gavin didn't notice the noose pulling tighter and tighter around his neck.

How similar they were in those situations.

But thinking like that also meant averting his eyes from the other people. The good ones who just wanted to live their lives. People who protested against the changes in their world and wanted to better it. People with pure intentions and ideas that would help. The kids. Oh, he hated to think about the kids who had only gotten a taste of living before he took their breath away. He knew their pain too well.

There were still interferences in the sky of stars from people who looked too deep into things. Some even tried to travel but failed. All in all it was nothing now that Polaris and Aldebaran were gone.

There was Michael though. He didn't travel, but Gavin feared it was only a matter of time. Michael was calling him often, sometimes so loud that Gavin flinched and stopped whatever he was doing.

It felt like Michael was standing right by his side, screaming in his ear. Just how his Michael had sometimes done to surprise him as a kid or when he got really worked up over something.

But Gavin ignored him for now because deep inside he knew that he didn't have the time for it. No, it was more important to prepare more worlds, to head into the next one before truly stopping and taking in his surroundings.

You promised Polaris to look after him though,

Mahr reminded him one day while Gavin was standing next to a woman. The woman had long nails that were painted in different colors just like a rainbow. It disgusted him to know how much blood was already on them even though she never dirtied them herself. No, she had other means to bring forth tears and didn't even have to get out of bed in the morning to do so.

"What are you now? My conscience?" Gavin just asked. "Never bothered you before."

Mahr remained quiet but their words swam around Gavin's head. He had promised to look after Michael, yes but Michael was strong. And maybe he was calling but it didn't sound like he was in danger. He was just looking for him because Gavin hadn't checked up on him in a while.

Still, Polaris had sensed danger around him...

"Michael has Triella." An excuse but a good one, at least he thought so. Fuck, this woman made him sick to look at and he couldn't think straight.

Are you just hoping that he will start to travel to look for you? He might just be able to do it.

Now it was him who stayed quiet because he feared searching for the answer.

The woman in front of him reached for her phone and it was a miracle that she could even bend her fingers with all the rings and jewels on them. So useless and ugly. She gave him a horrible headache.

"I wish she would die," he found himself saying. "I wish you would do whatever you want with her before that."

Mahr perked up at that but didn't jump to the opportunity. Gavin had kinda hoped they would if only so they would stop talking with him.

I don't see how that would lead to the destruction of this world, dead boy.

"I just want her gone."

There was another way. If he gave her more power and then went to the country in the south and tweaked a little there... Oh, the world would end in fire. Nearly a classic at this point but the years before would be horrible. Just not for this woman.

You've grown cruel, dead boy.

Mahr chuckled but left it at that. Gavin was a bit glad for that because he felt the marks for his wish carved up his throat and his cheek. A clear sign for everyone to see.

Oh no, Geoff would surely ask what wish it was from.

Reaching up, Gavin touched the tender skin before turning away.

Whatever Mahr had planned now, he just needed to know it was happening. No need to see it.
 
The world in front of him laid in ruins by the time he reached it. He could tell it would end soon and this time thanks to a natural cause. Yeah, nature had fought back to claim her rightful place back and the few humans still alive were hiding in self made cages. It was only a matter of time now.

Knowing that gave him a moment to breath, to know that he didn't need to do a thing about it. The air around them was growing more toxic by the day and would get rid of the problem soon.

It wasn't his fault, not this time. He could quicken the process with some tweaks and he was pondering over it when someone called him.

"Pollux!"

The name didn't register to him, he had heard people call out to him way too many times and he never paid any mind to it when he was on a run. When all that mattered was to end as many worlds as possible in the time he had.

What he did notice however was the hand on his arm, was the grasp he could actually feel and he reeled back in shock.

Michael also let go as if he'd been burned and he looked lost with the yellowed sky above him. He didn't belong here.

No, this picture was wrong and Michael shouldn't be here. His soul didn't exist in this world anymore and wouldn't be reborn again. Even if, he wouldn't be able to see and least of all touch.

Pollux grasped his own arm and pressed it against his chest, still in shock at the sudden point of contact. How long since he had been touched? How long since he had returned to the In Between? Too long, he had forgotten the time and his home out here. The voices calling for him hadn't been only Michael, no, Geoff as well.

Why had he grown deaf to them?

"What happened to you?" Michael asked him now and Gavin blinked up to him. "The marks... there are more now. What does that mean?"

"I wished," he explained as if that wasn't obvious but then he shook his head. It was like waking up from a deep slumber, a long dream. This Michael didn't know about Mahr.

This Michael shouldn't be here.

"What? What does that mean? You look like..." Michael trailed off, something so desperate and horrified in his face that Gavin started to worry what the other had seen. Was it the world around or his own face? Mahr had left their mark on him after all.

"What are you doing here?" Gavin finally asked.

"I was looking for you! I called you so many times but you didn't answer!" Michael cried out. "I need your help but I couldn't even see you anymore, so I tried to follow the... the feeling of you, or something. And there were so many things I saw, so many different worlds." His gaze traveled around, to the colorful, overgrown area around them. No human in sight and before long there would be none at all anymore.

"What is going on here, Pollux?"

"This world is dying. This story is coming to an end."

"Are you trying to stop it?"

Gavin opened his mouth but then didn't know what to say. It was quite the opposite but he didn't think Michael would like to hear that.

Thankfully Michael didn't wait for an answer, just blabbered on, "There were so many worlds dying out there! So many wars and catastrophes! It was horrifying!"

"You shouldn't see this."

"Will our world also end like that? Do you know that?"

"Every world has to end eventually," Gavin just said but Michael's face fell. With big eyes he looked around and if he had truly followed Gavin, then he had seen different pictures. Then he had seen way worse things.

That was unfortunate, Gavin didn't want anyone else seeing what he had done. Reaching out he wanted to comfort Michael but the other actually stepped away from him, something so horrified in his eyes that Gavin just let his hand fall back.

Fear, that was the most prominent emotion in Michael's face, but he couldn't tell if it was because of their surroundings or because of him. Things had changed and the worlds had moved on and some had died since the last time they had seen each other.

"You are traveling," he noticed belatedly. He had felt disturbances around but not to that degree, or maybe he had chose to ignore it just like the voices.

Michael licked his lips but then just shrugged.

"I fell asleep and now I can't get myself to wake up anymore," he said and then laughed, short and desperate. "Nobody could see me or hear me and that reminded me of you, so I came looking for you. I was hoping you could help me."

It took him a moment to work through that. "So you're dreaming right now? You're dreamwalking."

"I don't fucking know what I'm doing! I just know I can't go back and I really need to!"

Gavin hummed in understanding and then took a closer look. Yeah, Michael didn't seem to possess an actual body. Right now he was just a soul like Gavin himself was. His body still resided in his own world.

"So much shit happened, Pollux. So much fucking bullshit, okay?" Michael went on and tore on his own hair. "Fuck. Fuck, I tried to get to you and call you but now it might be too late. You were so hard to find and it was so hard to move around through these... these worlds or whatever. There was so much shit I saw-"

"I'm sorry," Gavin mumbled. He knew that he was, but the feeling was numb. He still felt half asleep, like he had just gotten up from a long, long nap. In his mind it didn't even make any sense that Michael was standing in front of him right now and yes, he had heard him call but it hadn't sounded urgent.

For how long hadn't he heard the voices? Had he really been so far gone? That was frightening and he reached up to touch his head as if that would clear his thoughts. But the feeling was familiar now that he thought about it. It reminded him off the last days when he had been alive, back when he was walking in Geoff's castle as a stranger. The heavy exhaustion in his bones but the knowledge that he had to go on. That he was the last defense between Mahr and the kingdom.

This time he had also kept his head down and went on, unaware of anything around him.

Michael was looking at him now, pale and shaking, and Gavin wished he could ask him to sit down, to bring him a coffee or tea, just like he had done before.

"You were right about Jeremy," Michael finally said. "Jeremy wasn't the fucking problem, okay? Jeremy wasn't the foe and he meant no harm and I think... I think things had to happen like that. That what happened back then was somehow right but now it's all fucked up."

"Because you fell asleep?"

"Yes but that's not all. That's far from all." Michael took a huge breath to try and calm himself down. "First I thought I died, okay? Because I could like walk around like a ghost. Nobody was able to see me but I could see them and well, my body was still in my bed. I was breathing though, I could see that and heard Jack talk about it. They are all talking with me and I can hear them but not answer because I can't get inside. I can't get back inside my body and I don't know why. I think I should just wake up but I can't. Triella is the only thing keeping me alive right now and she also helped me create shields as some kind of... of portal or whatever between the worlds. She helped me find you."

"I'm glad she did."

"It was the only thing I could think of. Because it's the same for you, right? Nobody can see you but me, so I figured you might be able to see me as well." Michael laughed. "And well look at that, I was right."

Gavin smiled but knew neither of them was amused. Michael was far from it, he was desperate and haunted and was looking for a way back home.

"I warned you not to look to deep into the night sky," he chastised him nearly absentmindedly. A part of him had known it would happen and an even bigger part had hoped for it. To have someone else travel the skies together with him. The vast emptiness between the stars felt so lonely now that Polaris and Aldebaran were gone.

"I can help you get back into your body," he offered. It shouldn't be hard, nothing a wish from him couldn't fix.

Michael's shoulders dropped but he was still tense.

"Thank you. Really, thank you, Pollux, but that isn't all." Michael bit down on his lips and closed his eyes. "I told you that I saw shit, right? I could walk around and watch people and with nothing else to do I did just that. I played the little fly on the wall and could see Ray or Jeremy again. They couldn't see me of course and it probably wasn't the right thing to do but it happened so fuck it. I just wanted to see them. Just for the little chance that maybe they would notice me, because someone had to, right? Someone was able to see you, so I had to check."

"You don't need to explain yourself to me."

"They took Jeremy," Michael said without paying attention to what Gavin was saying. "I saw Pandora do it. He was in his new fancy office and was stepping out. For a break or because his shift was over or whatever, I don't know. He was locking the door when three guys from Pandora approached him and took him away."

"They took him?"

"They forced him to come with them. They had guns and everything and he didn't have a choice. And I couldn't help him. I fucking couldn't do jack shit like this! I was screaming and trying to pull a shield around him but it wouldn't work because I'm in this fucking form!"

He yelled the last part with all the anger and frustration that had build up inside of him and for a moment Gavin could do nothing but stare at him. The way this Michael talked about protecting his friends reminded him too much and he nearly had to smile thinking back. About his Michael right behind him, strong and solid and the one who had stared Mahr down in the end, a strong hand pressed right against the heart of Gavin's mark.

Regulus, the heart of the lion.

"So I came looking for you," Michael went on and this time it was an accusation. "I searched for so fucking long and I have no idea what is happening back home but I need your help! I need your help so that I can help Jeremy because Pandora fucking has him. They have him and that means they can fucking make him talk. They have the means for it and that means everyone else is in danger, even Ray. Maybe it's already too late. Maybe they are all dead and gone and Jeremy was thrown in the Nether but-"

"Time is fragile between the worlds, I wouldn't worry that too much has passed during your absence," Gavin interrupted him gently. "I apologize once more that I didn't listen when you called me, Michael. I didn't realize it was that urgent. I'll help you."

He reached out his hand and Michael eyed it suspiciously. There was a pitch black tendril of the mark crossing straight through his palm but Gavin couldn't find it in him to worry about that. His whole soul was littered with them.

"I can take you back to your world and then in your body," Gavin explained. "It probably won't be comfortable, I don't know what people feel once they touch me, but it's the fastest way."

Michael lifted his hand but didn't take his.

"That mark... marks don't change, but yours do."

"It's not contagious if you worry about that."

"I'm worried about you. Those marks are not you."

For a moment Gavin didn't know what to say to that but then he just smiled a bit awkwardly. "It's fine. They're a part of me."

That didn't calm Michael down, quite the opposite but they didn't have time for that.

"Do you want to help Jeremy?"

"He was at the lake," Michael muttered, and a bit surprised, Gavin nodded.

"He was. You weren't far off either."

"Okay."

Michael laid his hand in his and Gavin grasped tightly. For a moment Michael struggled to get free, to escape whatever he was feeling, but Gavin wouldn't let him. He turned away from him and concentrated on the right star, the one in the east, the one already doomed.

When he opened his eyes again he came face to face with Jack. A woman this time, but Gavin recognized the soul and that was the most important. He recognized the scent or color or feeling that he associated with Jack, just like he had been taught.

Michael's hand slipped out of his but that was fine, they were already where they belonged.

"She's been sitting here nearly every time I checked on my body," Michael spat with a glance towards Jack.

"Of course." Because it had been the same each time. Because Jack had sat at his bedside when there had been poison in his veins and another Jack had sat at another bed when a bullet had went straight through another Michael's head.

Now though Jack looked tired and with a glance to her phone she got up to stretch. There were long gloves covering her hands and arms and Gavin wanted to reach out and take the pain away.

He could.

"See you tomorrow," Jack said to the Michael on the bed before she left, and behind him Michael sighed.

"Let's hope so."

Gavin waited until the door closed before he turned back towards Michael. The other was looking down to his body, something so furious in it that he wanted to reach out and touch him again.

"Can I ask something else from you, Pollux?" he wanted to know and didn't wait for an answer. "Even if I get back into my body I won't be able to do much. The only ones who are able to leave this house freely are Jack and Geoff. They could contact Ray I guess, but I can't do that. I can't sit around here and wait. If you don't want to help me or can't, that's fine. I'll just wait until Ray's here and then he can heal me. I'll find a way to escape somehow but..." He trailed off but Gavin had already understood.

Reaching out he touched the strange cuff around Michael's ankle. "It's this what's keeping you locked inside of here?"

"And a chip in my back that's telling them exactly where I am at all times. Fucking technology bullshit."

"As all things technology can be used for good or bad," Gavin said. "Don't worry about those things anymore. Neither of you."

Michael opened his mouth but didn't seem to find words. He just looked at Gavin and then back to his body.

"I can't tell you what's the right way for you to take," Gavin said. "Which decision will assure that all of you come out of this just fine, that's for you to find out on your own, but I want to apologize once more for not listening when you needed me to."

Michael turned back to him and the color from his face drained. He had to see Mahr right now, Gavin could hear the crashing waves in his own ears and felt the demon nestling on his shoulders. They didn't protest against his words which was a little surprising.

"I'll grant you one more wish for that."

"A wish?" Michael asked. He had taken a step back and his eyes were crimson red. Triella who was ready to take action to protect her host, but not yet. She was too curious for that, or maybe she just recognized Mahr.

"Call for me in your time of need. This time I will be there."

Michael narrowed his eyes and that distrust was fair. What reason had he to trust him? The last time he had called Gavin hadn't been there, and even though he offered it now, there was no reason for Michael to believe him.

Thankfully that wasn't for him to decide. It was Michael's choice if he would call on him or not.

"Mahr," he said instead. "I wish Michael could return to his body without any consequences from his long absence."

"Wait!" Michael called out and even reached to him. It made Gavin look up but then a sharp pain struck right behind his right eye.

Doubling over he nearly fell to his knees but then it was already passing. Just another mark, this one traveling up his cheek and touching his eye. It wasn't a pleasant feeling but bearable.

When he lifted his head again Michael was staring at him, his eyes wide and brown, the cogs turning right behind.

"Return now," Gavin told him and knew that it was already happening, that Michael was already fading.

"Wait-" Michael started again but again he didn't finish his words. He turned away then, looking down to his body and then he was gone, returning to his rightful place.

With a sigh Gavin rubbed his eye and grimaced at the tender feeling.

"Was that really necessary?" he muttered but Mahr remained silent. They were still there though, sitting on his shoulder and somehow... curious.

Strange.

Gavin touched the cuff around Michael's ankle again and heard the soft beep coming from it. It sparked the pain in his eye again but only for a moment and just like that Michael was free. Free to do whatever he chose to do. Right now he was still laying there as if asleep, but he was fighting against it. Against the darkness and long night that had kept him under but it wouldn't take him long. Gavin could already see his hand twitch.

"I'm surprised you didn't protest against my wishes," he found himself wondering. "Sending Michael back I can understand. That way he won't distract me further from my way, but freeing him? Allowing me to break these shackles around them?"

At first Mahr didn't answer, but that wasn't so unusual. Gavin was rather surprised when the demon actually did raise their voice.

Because you promised him.

"That I did." He chuckled to himself and looked through the window where the night stretched endlessly. "I think I should return for a break if you don't mind."

King Ramsey will be very furious.

"You mean he will be fucking pissed off."

Next to them Michael groaned and even though his eyes opened slightly, Gavin didn't think he actually saw yet. He didn't need to see him though, not right now.

"Call me," he reminded the boy, still half asleep. "I'll be there."

Without waiting for an answer he stepped out of that world and into the In Between. Beneath his step the water rippled until it was lost to the horizon, distorting the reflected stars.

Geoff was waiting for him, his face tight and pale. Gavin hated seeing him like that and knowing it was because of him.

"Geoff..." he began but then Geoff was already there and throwing his arms around him.

"Fucking idiot," he hissed against Gavin's hair and Gavin couldn't help but laugh at that. Yeah, he was. Burying deeper into Geoff's shoulder he wanted to apologize for so many things. For staying away for too long, for not listening when Geoff had called him, for leaving him here alone.

For nearly losing himself once more.

Neither of the words made it passed his lips because he had to press them together.

"You are not King Sisyphus, you don't have to do this alone. You

can't

do this alone," Geoff went on, a hand buried deep in Gavin's hair to press him closer. "But Gavin, I can't help you if you lock me out. Don't lock me out, please. Don't let that boulder crush you."

And suddenly there were tears in Gavin's eyes and he closed them. That way he could take in Geoff's scent better, the warmth coming from him and how soft his clothes always were. How strong he felt against him and so Gavin let himself be carried in that moment.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and his voice broke. "I'm so sorry, Geoff."

"It's okay. It's okay, Buddy. We can do this together. We'll find an end to this story."