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“I--I’ve never met anyone like you. I think that’s why I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never been good at the big emotional speeches anyway, but something about you makes this terrifying. And-- No, it’s not your fault, not in any way, it’s just that I know you would know exactly what to say. You’re so
open
in a way that I’ve never seen before, and that I don’t think I’ll ever see again. You’re willing to share your love and friendship with everyone and everything, even when you don’t know anything about them. And when you get betrayed, because God knows how many times we’ve been betrayed, it doesn’t matter to you. I mean, it matters, obviously, but it doesn’t stop you from continuing to trust and love. No matter how many times you get hurt, you don’t close yourself off. You’re not like me, choosing isolation and loneliness over the slightest chance of pain. You’re stronger than that. Stronger than anyone. You’ll share your joy like you have an endless amount of it, because that’s just who you are. That’s what you are to me, Lance.
Joy
. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been, just from being around you.
“And you forget, too, that you don’t
have
to be happy all the time. Y-- You can tell me all you like that you’re just a naturally happy person, that you don’t get upset, but I know it’s not true. You’re afraid, Lance, that people only like you because you’re happy, that once they see even the smallest amount of your pain they’ll leave. But I
promise
that’s not true. You’re allowed to hurt. You’re allowed to cry, to scream, to express
every
part of yourself, not just what you think will make people stay. Because I’d stay with you, no matter what. I’d stay with you forever, if you wanted me to. And I know I’m not the only one. Not a single person on this team would turn their back on you, Lance, not in any situation ever. I mean it. You can be sad, angry, afraid,
anything
, and we would stay, and support you. B-- Because that’s what love is. You don’t have to hide.
And-- And I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to hide. I want to see everything. Every part of you, the good and the bad and the in-between. I mean, how could I not? You’re incredible. And-- Let me finish. I said I wasn’t good at the emotional shit, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t do it. I would literally talk about you for hours, Lance, if it would convince you that you’re incredible. I could talk for days, because that’s how much you’ve affected me. You saved my life, Lance, and I don’t just mean in the literal sense. I-- For God’s sake, Lance, let me finish. I will
yell
the rest of this at you if I have to. I had been living in the fucking dark for my entire life and didn’t even realize until you stepped into my life and lit it up like a goddamn Christmas tree. I don’t think I even knew who I was until you smiled at me and made the entire world make sense. You gave me something to believe in. So you can argue with me all you like, you can tell me that you’re not important, that you’re useless to the team. Y--You could even try to leave. But I won’t let you. You will
always
be important, you will
always
be a valued part of this team, even if you lost all your fucking limbs and could fight or shoot. You are our friend,
my
friend. You matter to me.
And that’s a fucking terrifying thought, because like I said, I’m so used to shutting everyone out and pretending I don’t care so that I don’t get hurt. But I won’t deny what you are to me, because that wouldn’t be fair to either of us. You deserve to hear this, Lance. You deserve to know that you’re loved, and that you matter, and that you’ll always have a place here. This,
you
, is the only thing that’s ever made sense to me. Maybe it’s selfish of me to say, but I need you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, honestly. As long as you’re in my life, I’ll care about you, and support you, even if it’s from a distance. Tomorrow, and the next day, and every day after that. Because, like I said before, that’s what love is. And I-- I love you.”