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“So, um, I just wanted to apologize again for pepper spraying you in the courtyard.” Jane wrung out the towel she was holding, running it under the tap again. “I thought you were someone else.”
“Yes, Jane,” Petra forced one eye open, one puffy, red, slightly amused eye. “That’s the fifth time you’ve apologized. And like I said before, I shouldn’t have snuck up on you.”
Jane should have heard her, but she hadn’t, too deep in her own thoughts she’d reacted, macing the random person (or so she had thought) who had snuck up on her.
It wasn’t until she’d heard Petra’s screams that she’d realized it was her. She’d helped a stumbling Petra past a smirking Lina, and an annoyed Catalina to their shared room and helped her rinse her eyes out.
“Jane, don’t.” Jane’s mouth clicked shut, unsure of how Petra had known she was going to apologize again, considering Jane was still holding the cool towel to Petra’s face, as she had been for the past five minutes. “You can go.”
“Oh, right.” Dropping the towel into Petra’s lap, Jane took a step back, the bathroom feeling too small for all the emotions that were beginning to well up.
Petra was pulling away like she always did. Jane struggled to figure out where they stood because there were moments where they felt like they progressing into different territory. Then there were moments like these, where she pulled away and left Jane wondering if they were even friends. She’d been pulling away recently, and Jane wasn’t sure why. Sure, sometimes Petra wasn’t the most inviting person, tight-lipped, and quick to lash out. She’d mellowed out though, showing Jane her sense of dry humor and a softer side that came out on occasion and always shocked Jane into awareness.
But this back and forth was giving her whiplash and Jane was done.
A warm firm grip prevented her from leaving, “I meant that if you wanted to finish your walk you could, I know how much you like them.”
“I don’t like taking walks.” Jane shrugged away from Petra’s warm hand, ignoring the way her skin tingled where Petra had rubbed it.
“What?”
“I take them because sometimes I need to get away from you.”
“Well--” Jane cut her off before she could get offended.
“I like you Petra, and you like Catalina, and it’s fine.” Jane hung up the towel to dry, throwing it into the hamper wet would probably make it smell bad, and it was the perfect way to avoid looking at Petra and her pitying face.
Petra started laughing, the mirror emphasizing the redness around her eyes, she looked deranged. Hair matted, overlarge hoodie and dirty sweats, were not things Jane would usually associate with Petra, she always looked effortlessly composed.
“Wow, okay.” Jane didn’t know why she tried with Petra sometimes.
“No, Jane, wait,” Petra was up in an instant, putting them much too close, much too soon. “I only flirted with Cat because Lina told me to. She said it’d make you jealous.”
“What? That would never work. I--” Jane was going to kill her. “That bitch.”
“I thought she was lying until you stormed out. Then I realized all the other times you’ve disappeared, it made sense. I didn’t want to make a move without knowing for sure since you are super friendly to pretty much everyone. I wasn’t sure if I was reading into it. Plus, you dated Michael, then you and Adam..,”
“There’s nothing going on between me and Adam. He’s nice but… It just wasn’t there, and I didn’t want him to feel like I was using him to get over…” Jane shook her head, “he’s nice.”
“Jane,” Petra should have looked ridiculous, her eyes beyond irritated, yet the only thing that shone through was a mix of affection and something Jane wanted to name but wasn’t sure if she should.
Jane was over waiting for it, “Just kiss me.”
“So impatient…”
Jane kissed her, bruising and desperate, and it was worth the past year of stress. It was probably a cliche, falling for your college roommate, but Jane didn’t care. Not when Petra kissed her back as if her life depended on it, strong fingers pulling them closer, and Jane felt like she was about to combust.
Jane pulled away first, and Petra leaned her forehead against Jane’s, gasping softly in her ear. “I’m surprised you aren’t freaking about the logistics of being with your roommate.”
“That’s what the walks were for…” Endless debates with herself about whether it was worth possibly destroying a three-year-long friendship, and whether it wasn’t just lust. Rafael had done a good job of talking her down.
Petra laughed into her hair and Jane just snuggled closer, thinking about how she could get used to this.
Jane heard the front door open and close before being propelled forward and almost falling when Lina yanked the bathroom door open with no regard for their privacy.
She stood in front of them for a split second before squealing, “Oh my god, Rafael owes me 50 bucks.” She was gone before Jane could even yell at her. “Rafael!”
Pushing away from Petra, Jane started after her. “I’m going to kill her.”
Petra pulled her back in, kissing her soundly.
“We can kill her later.”
Petra was right, Jane thought as she sunk back into Petra, they could kill Lina later.