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Five years had passed, and when Penelope eyed the envelope addressed from Miss Josette Saltzman, her heart stopped. Europe had treated her nicely, granting her a new family of witches and plenty of havoc to cause. However, she’d never stopped thinking about the girl she left behind.For the first few months, the separation was excruciating. Penelope thought of Josie constantly; wondering what class she was in, who she was hanging around, and, most importantly, how she was conducting herself around her dominant twin. She hoped Josie had opted to read Alaric’s journal entries on the merge. She half-hoped it would have elicited a reaction from her in the form of a call . . . or text . . . or something. It didn’t. Penelope wasn’t surprised at the lack of response from Josie, but she couldn’t say it didn’t hurt.After a while, the days, which once seemed to be endless, began to pass more quickly, and Penelope began to think of Josie less often. At one point, she even started seeing someone new. This romance was fleeting, though; for she didn’t think she could ever manifest feelings for anyone the way she did for a certain brunette thousands of miles away.When Penelope turned eighteen, and graduated from her new academy, she decided to migrate to England, somewhere she’d always yearned to visit. She began to branch out from her friends and family, making a new, and beautiful, life for herself. She was truly happy.And on the random days her mind would stray to her life back in the states, she was only hopeful. She hoped Josie was smiling and loved and confident. She hoped Josie was able to find happiness for herself the way Penelope had. She had shed her layers of anxiety over Josie’s wellbeing for a new sensation: joy. So, when she found the envelope sitting on the doorstep of her apartment, she wasn’t exactly sure how to feel. What she was sure of, though, was that she had to open it. Maybe her questions were finally going to be answered.
Penelope,
First of all, I’m sorry for never reaching out to you after you left. Trust me, I wanted to. But you had taught me to put myself first. That’s right; I finally learned how. And part of putting myself first was putting you in my past. I couldn’t bear the thought of talking to you with the distance between us. It threatened to break my heart. I refused to let it. I hope you’ll forgive me for that. But, regardless, here’s the real reason for my writing this: the merge. I’m sure you know that it’s about time for that to happen, and I’m sure you’re still mildly curious about my fate. I wanted to tell you that I’m not going to win. I know what you’re thinking; I’m stronger than I think; that I have the ability to be the stronger twin. But, here’s the thing: I don’t. And not because I still cave to Lizzie’s every demand. I haven’t since the day you walked out, actually. I left the Salvatore School a few days after you did, and I didn’t look back. I found myself and was happier than ever before. You are the reason for that, P. I owe you everything. But, in finding myself, I also found a life without magic. I stopped practicing and casting the day I left the school. And I don’t regret it. But, now it’s time to face the consequences for that decision. Lizzie is stronger, and I’m okay with that. I’ve lived a life full of adventure, full of friends, and full of love. I am content with my fate, and I hope you will be, too. I’m so sorry to disappoint you, P. I know everything you did was in an attempt to save my life; but, truly, you did. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you. I hope you can’t say the same. I hope you’re just as content as I am. And I hope that you haven’t lost your sass. By the time you get this, I’m guessing the merge will have been completed. That said, you’re probably reading a letter from the grave. Weird. But, P, I wanted my last words to be heard by you. I am so sorry for all the hurt I caused you. And I am so grateful to you for saving me. I love you, P. I love you with all of my pleasant, selfless, virtuous heart.
-JoJo
Penelope felt her muscles tighten and her head spin. She read the letter a total of seven times before she felt her life shatter right in front of her. Sure, she had moved across the world and created a reality without Josie, but she had never, for a second, forgotten about her. Or loved her any less.She thought of Josie’s words; how genuine and beautiful they were. She was immensely proud of Josie for becoming her own person, but also immensely pissed off at the girl for accepting her death so casually. The next thing she knew, without exactly remembering how she managed to get there, Penelope was at the London airport. Her next stop? Josie.Her flight was fourteen hours too long, and by the time she got to the address scribbled onto the outside of the envelope, she was a mess; both emotionally and physically.She wasn’t sure where to go from there.Standing outside the home that must’ve been her ex-girlfriend’s, she stood completely still.
Do I knock on the door?
She didn’t know if she could bear to enter the house, knowing that she might be greeted with emptiness.All she could think of was Josie; her Josie; her laugh, and her big, brown eyes, and her smile that could light up the darkest of rooms.No, Penelope thought. She was not dead. She could not be taken from her. Not by Lizzie, and not by magic. Josie was in there. Alive. So, when she finally regained enough composure to make her way to the wooden entrance of the urban abode, she knocked with a shocking amount of confidence.She waited.And waited.And waited.She considered blasting through the weak wooden planks and into Josie’s place. Surely the girl wouldn’t mind.And that’s when the door creaked open. And Penelope was met with the same brown eyes she’d seen in her dreams so many times in the past few years.
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Penelope had forgotten how it had felt to be rendered speechless. She had also forgotten how it had felt to set eyes on Josie Saltzman.Josie stumbled for something to say, obviously surprised at the shorter girl’s arrival. For anyone else, Penelope’s immediate trip for Josie’s wellbeing would be nothing less than expected, but Josie had always seemed to underestimate how much she cared for her.As always, Penelope was the first to speak. “You look good. And not just because you’re alive. Well, mostly because of that,” she smirked.Josie was struck by Penelope’s sarcasm. She was happy to see that P was still the same as she remembered. She didn’t hesitate to pull her into a tight hug, making up for the all the years they had lost. What seemed like an eternity later, the two made their way into the small apartment and Josie offered Penelope a drink.“As much as I do want to drown multiple sorrows, JoJo, I’m going to need an explanation first.”“For?” It wasn’t that Josie wasn’t aware of all the mistakes she had made as of late, but she wasn’t sure which Penelope wanted her to elaborate on first.“Oh, let me think. Maybe the way you so complacently accepted your death? Or how the first time you reach out to me in five years is to inform me of your grim fate? Only after it had happened, of course. Are you kidding me, Jo?” Penelope began to lose her composure as she realized how close she had come to losing the one person she cared the most about; for good this time.“I can tell you how sorry I am, P, but I know you deserve more than that,” Josie began.“You’re damn right I do.”Josie had missed her snarky interjections. “I wasn’t finished. I wanted to write you a letter five years ago. I wanted to board a plane to Belgium the moment you walked away from me. I never stopped wanting to do either of those things. But I was scared. I was so scared, and I knew I had to move on from that chapter in my life just like you did. For the first time, I was completely on my own. And I wanted to figure it out completely on my own, too. And maybe that makes me an idiot for giving up the one thing that made life worth living, but I found other ways of making myself happy, P; without somebody by my side. And that felt good. And after a while, I stopped thinking of us as a possibility. I never stopped missing you, but I knew it was over. And I was at peace with that.”Josie was interrupted by the tears beginning to escape her brown eyes, and Penelope wanted nothing more than to pull her close. But this wasn’t the time. Penelope still needed answers.“So, the merge?” Penelope questioned.“The merge is happening,” Josie muttered, “soon. The last time I visited my dad and Lizzie, we talked about it. I feel like there’s so much to explain, but I’m not sure how to put it all into words. I guess the short version is that my mom failed to find a way out of it, Lizzie and I both agreed to let it happen, and that’s that. And, well, as you know, we’re of age, now, and there’s supposed to be an eclipse in the coming weeks. So, yeah.”Josie’s words hit Penelope like a train. She knew the contents of the letter; hell, she practically had it memorized by now, but for some reason, she was expecting a more hopeful explanation. For some reason, she expected Josie to have found a way out of the merge in the short time it took the letter to reach London.“So, you have a death sentence . . . and you’re perfectly fine with that?” Penelope angrily questioned.“I guess so. I don’t know, Penelope. It’s not what you think. I’m not cowardly accepting this because of Lizzie. I’m okay with the merge happening because it’s my duty. It’s what I have to do. It’s what all Gemini twins have to do, and if Lizzie wins because she’s decided to actually appreciate and refine her magic, I respect that. I wasn’t stretching the truth when I said I was happy with how my life has turned out. I am. I am truly happy. I have regrets, of course, but I’m okay with this being how it ends.”Before allowing her final words to sink in, Penelope spit out the only question she could manage. “Am I one of those regrets?”Josie’s eyes were full of sorrow.“My biggest one,” she said, and Penelope was aware of how authentic her answer was.The two were now sitting on the couch and Penelope abandoned all of the anger that had been growing in her chest in order to comfort Josie. She pulled the frail girl close and took in every bit of the love of her life; her smell, her touch, her. Penelope was at home.“So, how about that drink?” Josie let out a small laugh and quickly made her way to the kitchen. She made P’s favorite drink without telling her she had been saving the bottle for the day she knew they’d see each other again. “Pack your bags, JoJo, we’re going on a trip.”The girls were a few drinks in, and Josie wasn’t sure if it was the slight intoxication or Penelope’s constant determination that inspired this proposition.“Some people can’t just run from their problems, P.” The inspiration behind this comment, however, was entirely transparent. Josie had never been one to voice her insecurities or agitations, but once she’d opened the second bottle of wine, everything was fair game. Penelope’s abrupt leaving had plagued her mind for years, and she had always wanted closure. She knew, of course, that P was only trying to save her life, and couldn’t bear to see her hurt any longer, but she didn’t accept that as an excuse. At the end of the day, Penelope Park had walked out of her life. Josie was the one left behind to pick up the pieces.“And what, exactly, do you mean by that?” Penelope questioned.“I mean exactly what I said. I mean that you were afraid five years ago, so you ran. You ran from me. And I have never been able to understand how you did that if you loved me as much as you claimed to.”Penelope could tell that Josie’s devastation was genuine and had lingered for longer than tonight.“I will never be able to make up for walking out; on the school, on my friends, on you. But please don’t doubt how much I loved you; how much I love you. I thought I was protecting us both from hurting even more. I didn’t realize how much hurt I caused you in the process of trying to prevent it. I’m so sorry, JoJo.”By this time, both girls’ eyes had begun to well up. Penelope was overwhelmed with guilt, remembering that she had left Josie alone and helpless, and Josie was overcome with both anger and joy. She was still upset with being left so many years ago, but she was comforted by the idea that Penelope had never stopped caring.Josie tried to regain composure by returning the conversation to Penelope’s mention of a getaway.“So, where do you have in mind?”Penelope was initially caught off guard, but soon recalled her drunken proposal. She wasn’t exactly sure how to answer this question, though, because she didn’t expect the brunette to say yes in the first place.“Well, anywhere, I guess. With an ocean view, preferably,” Penelope smirked.“In all seriousness, I really can’t just run away, though. This isn’t your attempt at hiding me from Lizzie and the merge, is it?” Josie questioned, understandably.“Truthfully, no. I figured, if you have a death sentence, why not live out your last few weeks soaking up the sun next to your favorite girl?” This time Penelope had to forcefully stop a smile from breaking through to her face.Josie was stunned at Penelope’s acceptance of her decisions, but pleased nonetheless.“And who said you were my favorite girl?” she joked.The snarky jab warranted a half-hearted punch from P, as well as a kiss on the cheek. Their time together might be limited, but the elation they got from the long-missed company was anything but.
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The girls had arrived in Aruba after a nine-hour flight and endless bickering over the choice of in-transit entertainment. To no surprise, Penelope was set on watching a horror flick, while Josie wanted anything but.“Aren’t our actual lives scary enough, P?” Josie had questioned, arguing for her pick of Five Feet Apart. “It’s the perfect mixture of love and sadness,” she’d said, “and the actors aren’t bad to look at, either.”The last comment, and that alone, had sold Penelope on Josie’s choice. It definitely wasn’t the pleading in her beautiful eyes or the way that Penelope couldn’t stand to upset her, even in the slightest of ways.And, so, their journey was not only one through the sky, but into the fictional world of two teens in love, facing the unescapable ending of death. Ironic. Once the two arrived at the hotel Penelope had so hastily picked out, they were both more than happy to sleep away a few hours. The fact that it was only eight A.M. on the island also didn’t hurt. Josie, being the one who didn’t want to feel she was wasting moments, let her mind relax with the knowledge that they’d be back on their feet well before noon.And, surprisingly, they were. It ended up being Penelope, however, who was forced to drag Josie out of bed after snoozing their alarm for the fourth time.“JoJo, if you don’t get your ass up in the next two minutes, I’m sending a tidal wave through this wall of windows. And I’d like to see you try explaining that to the concierge.”At this, Josie’s motivation was restored, and she quickly bounced out of the ever-so-inviting white duvet. “Did you drag me out here for boot camp?” she wined.“Hardly,” Penelope countered, flashing her phone at the tired girl, whose face contorted when she saw that it was already eleven-thirty.Josie immediately exchanged her pajamas for jean shorts and a tee, urging Penelope to hurry up and get ready. Penelope was quick to point out that she was the only reason they were awake, but Josie would take no rebuttal. They were supposed to leave before noon. They had things to do and a deadline to beat.When both girls had looked in the mirror for the final time and approved their looks of the day, Penelope pulled out a disposable camera she’d picked up from the airport.“Oh, no. Heck no,” Josie complained. Penelope knew she’d never been fond of pictures, and she thought it to be because she’d never been truly fond of herself. But Penelope knew the only way to capture how astonishing Josie Saltzman was, was to have it on camera for the world to see. She refused not to capture these precious moments.“I take you on the trip of a lifetime and all you do is sleep and complain,” Penelope joked, “smile JoJo.”When the girl continued to refuse her appearance behind the camera, P chose to sweeten the deal.“One picture and drinks are on me all day.”Josie needed not voice her decision, because the look on her face said it all. Penelope jumped into action as the master photographer she always was when Josie was concerned.She made note to develop the stunning image as soon as possible. Josie looked even more radiant than usual, and Penelope never wanted to forget it. Josie had to admit, escaping to the beach was, indeed, a good; no, great, idea. It’s what she had needed; to get away from the stress of her job, her friends, and the merge. She hesitated to admit to herself that the true comfort provided by the trip had more to do with the company than the location.The day had been as close to perfect as possible. The two spent hours sunbathing and only took breaks when Josie got too hot and practically dragged Penelope into the cool water with her. Penelope had initially refused her demands, but, once again, succumbed to the other girl’s seemingly professional puppy-dog face.“It’s not fair,” Penelope had said at one point, “how am I supposed to say no when you look at me like that? If you have a super power in persuasion, I want one, too.”She received a hearty giggle from Josie in response, and the girls carried on in their beachy shenanigans.After their day in the sand had come to an end, only because of the setting sun, they retired to their villa to settle down. Josie had been wanting to go out to a nice dinner in the village, but Penelope wasn’t sure she’d be leaving the couch any time soon. And if there was one thing that could get in the way of her endless caving to Josie’s commands, it was exhaustion.“I know you want to go out tonight, Jo, and you know that I want whatever makes you happy; well, ninety-nine percent of the time. But today felt like an eternity and the thought of moving one bone in my body seems both impossible and excruciating at this point,” Penelope frowned.Josie suddenly realized a problem that had plagued their relationship since its start so many years ago.“Oh my gosh, P. I’m so sorry. Of course, we don’t have to go out to dinner tonight. And you don’t have to drop everything to make me feel special. I mean, I won’t lie and say it’s not nice to feel so loved, but this is a two-way street, you know,”Josie began to get upset, and Penelope’s eyebrows furrowed, in obvious need of further explanation.“You have always hated how I put everyone, especially Lizzie, before myself; how I value her needs above my own. But that is exactly what you have done for me. And as much as I appreciate and love you for it, you have to stop. I want you to feel special, too.”Josie struggled to let the last few words escape her mouth, as it felt like some sort of confession.“So,” Penelope sneered, “what I’m hearing is that you love me. As in, present tense.”Josie was glad to have had the conversation become more lighthearted, but she truly hoped Penelope heard what she was saying. She couldn’t believe she had let herself be so blind, for so long, to what Penelope continued to give up for her.“You know what I don’t love about you?” Josie scowled.Penelope couldn’t help but laugh.“What could that possibly be?”“You tend to state the obvious, just to make me elaborate on things you know I don’t exactly want to. But I know your ego needs constant stroking, so yes, Penelope Park, I do. I love you. Present tense.”The admission left both girls looking as though they’d been faced with the darkest of secrets; eyes wide open, mouths beginning to dry from the, quite literal, lack of closure.And for the second time in the mere days they had spent together, Penelope had no idea how to articulate her thoughts into words. She hated Josie Saltzman for having kept her ability to control her emotions so completely. But she also didn’t hate Josie Saltzman at all, for anything, and they both knew that. So, when she replied, “I love you too, JoJo. Never stopped,” it was far from needed.Even so, they both smiled and wordlessly continued to express their feelings for each other.Before looking over a room service menu they’d chosen to explore, Penelope pulled Josie in close, to do the one thing they’d both tried so hard to forget they missed.Though Penelope’s grip on Josie’s waist was strong, it was the taller girl who closed the gap between them, placing her lips against Penelope’s and her fingers in her short, raven bob.Josie was sure that no other human being could make such a foreign place feel so familiar. And she hated Penelope Park for having kept the ability to make her feel so at home. But she also didn’t hate Penelope Park at all, for anything.
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The days of their vacation came and went, faster than either of them would’ve liked them to. On the seventeenth day of their adventure, a call from Lizzie forced the girls back into reality.“Josie, it’s me,” she began, “I know this is a sore subject, but the eclipse is scheduled for tomorrow night. If you could tell me where you want to meet, dad and I will be there. I’ll see you soon.”Josie had missed the call while her and Penelope were scuba diving just offshore. When they returned, and she finally listened to the voicemail, she swore her heart stopped beating. Part of her didn’t want to tell Penelope. She contemplated the idea of disappearing in the middle of the night and leaving yet another infamous letter. She was tired of letting her drama pull Penelope down. Maybe she would be better off left in Aruba, Josie thought, to relieve her grief with the cocktails and beautiful people the beach town had to offer.As she weighed her options, Penelope snuck into the room and settled herself next to the clearly shaken girl.“Penny for your thoughts?” she joked.“Raise the price and maybe,” Josie muttered, lacking any sort of facial expression.That’s when Penelope realized their time playing ignorant had come to an end. Nothing, other than the merge, could elicit this amount of stress from Josie, and P knew it.“What did she say?”Josie had forgotten Penelope’s innate ability to practically read her mind, with or without the use of magic.“Who?” Josie said, wanting desperately to forget about the situation and regroup on the beach with her favorite person.“Don’t play dumb with me, JoJo. Lizzie. What did she say? Did she call you or something?”Josie shrunk at the mention of her sister’s name. She never thought they’d reach the point of estrangement, only speaking when it had to do with the upcoming magical ritual that would result in the death of one of them.“Yeah. She, um, left me a voicemail just a few minutes ago. While we were out. She said, um, that the eclipse is supposed to happen tomorrow night. Told me to let her know where I wanted to meet.”As she heard the words out loud, Josie was, again, less than depressed over the reality of the merge. As she had told Penelope so many days ago, the fact that she would die didn’t upset her. It was Penelope’s face that had her on the verge of tears. It was obvious that P took the news like a blow to the gut. Her emotions were hardly ever so readable, but Josie could see the pain in her dark eyes.“I’m sorry, P. This trip; the past couple weeks, have been the best of my life. I can’t thank you enough for that. I didn’t realize how much I needed you in my life. I only wished I had reached out sooner. And I’m sorry for that, too. I didn’t want to tell you about Lizzie calling because I wanted at least one of us to still feel like we had a chance somehow. I’m sorry,” Josie managed to get out before breaking into tears.Penelope descended further into her sadness seeing Josie so pained.“Don’t apologize, JoJo. Hey, listen. Nothing matters except the time we’ve gotten to spend together. This has meant everything to me,” she explained, trying to force a smile and hold herself together for the sake of the other girl.Penelope tucked a strand of loose hair behind Josie’s ear and cradled her head in her arms.“It’s okay, babe. Hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Breathe.”Josie had missed this side of Penelope entirely too much. She had always been seen as a heartless bitch, but underneath her less than inviting surface, was someone so completely different. Josie was sure she was one of the only people to ever meet this alter-ego, and she was thankful for that. She loved how Penelope’s arms could make her forget about the rest of the world, at least for the moment.As soon as Josie calmed down, Penelope turned her focus towards their next steps.“I’m sure I don’t have to remind you of this,” P said, “but we could always just blow it off. I’m not trying to talk you out of it, I promise, and I respect your decision; I just-”Penelope ended her sentence short, fully aware of Josie’s choice by the way her lips strained, and her eyebrows furrowed.“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. So, when do we leave?”Josie could hardly process how quickly everything had begun to unfold. Less than an hour ago, she was exploring an underwater world with the love of her life, and now they’re discussing the travel arrangements for a rendezvous which will end in her death. And, more importantly, the death of what they have. What they’ve always had.Penelope saw the confusion and anger building on Josie’s face. She felt helpless knowing that she had no way of remedying it. Instead of encouraging her to talk through her feelings, as usual, she decided to try and take a hint of her stress away.“Listen. You don’t have to worry about any of it. I’ll handle the flights, and the times, and,” she faltered when thinking of contacting the heinous blonde she’d happily left behind years ago, “your sister. I’ll deal with it. You just relax, Josie, please. Sit by the water for a little bit or go get a massage. I’ll text you when to be back,” Penelope forced a smile and held tightly to the other girl’s shoulder.Once again, Penelope Park was sacrificing her own sanity for the sake of Josie Saltzman. And they were both especially aware of it. This time, however, Josie didn’t attempt to stop her. As much as she wanted to ensure Penelope’s own emotional stability, she could no longer handle the thoughts swirling through her head. Penelope was right. She needed to relax. Just for a little bit. Just before she had to face what she had been dreading for the past two weeks.Josie kissed Penelope’s cheek, ever so softly, as her way of saying “thank you” and made her way to their rented backyard.Penelope watched as Josie made herself comfortable, her back in the sand and feet digging in deep, almost as a way to ground herself to the world she didn’t want to leave behind. The first thing she tackled was the task she was least excited for, which said a lot considering the circumstances. While none of her obligations were exactly appealing, she decided calling Lizzie Saltzman would be the most taxing.After a two-minute phone call and many, many facial expressions from the both of them, the two witches had decided on a location to meet near their alma mater. Penelope moved on to flights, booking them as soon as possible. As much as she appreciated Aruba, she knew Josie would want to spend a few hours in Mystic Falls before she . . . well, you know.
Sorry to cut your beach time short, but we’re ready to go. Flight leaves in an hour. I love you.
-P
Josie giggled at the fact that Penelope signed her name, knowing full well that they were both aware of who it was from. In the hour it took Penelope to get everything settled, Josie had managed to get something settled, as well: her mind.She brushed herself off before going inside to greet Penelope with a kiss. If their time was going to be so limited, she wanted to get as many of those in as possible.Penelope welcomed the rejuvenated Josie and handed her the two suitcases she had packed up while Josie had relaxed in the sand. Josie was, again, amazed at Penelope’s composure. She knew the brunette wasn’t taking this easy, but she also knew that P would do whatever had to be done. For her. For Josie.As they said their goodbyes to their temporary home and took in a last glimpse of the serene ocean behind them, their Uber pulled up, ready to take them to the airport.The girls exchanged looks of both sadness and contentment and leapt into the Hummer, not letting go of each other’s hands for a moment.Josie spent the drive looking out the window, watching as palm trees and people passed her by. When she began to feel saddened by the lack of time the two had together, she comforted herself with the knowledge that they still had a nine-hour flight to go. Nine hours to talk, and laugh, and kiss. Nine hours is more than she thought they would ever have again, and she was eternally grateful for that. Looking over at Penelope for what she thought would be one of the last times, a single tear escaped the brunette’s eyes. This time, it was out of gratitude. And love.