Work Text
“Who would’ve thought that little Hyuckie was going to grow up to become a prosecutor, huh?”
Donghyuck rolls his eyes, used to his Renjun’s tactics. It was his graduation party, or was it his goodbye party? Maybe a mixture of both.
“Just say you’re proud of me and go.”
Needless to say, people were happy for him, it took him four years to receive his M.B.A and J.D. degree. It was more than what he would have expected himself to achieve.
“I can’t believe you’re really leaving Hyuck, you’re breaking up the gang.”
Yeah, that’s the point.
“I mean, you guys will still see me during the holidays! I’ll be back for Christmas.”
I really hope I won’t.
“Hey Hyuck, can I talk to you for a bit?” Jeno whispers.
Fuck.
He nods and follows Jeno to the kitchen, away from all the guests.
He looks around the kitchen, trying to memorize the way everything looks for the last time. Maybe as an excuse to not look at Jeno in the eyes when he says,
“Look, about what happened at Jaemin's
party….” He drifts off.
Donghyuck grimaces, knowing where this was headed. Two months ago. That’s how fast things change, how fast friendships change.
Jeno and Donghyuck. Donghyuck and Jeno. Those two names came hand in hand, never one without the other. Knowing each other since elementary school does that.
They would always talk about how they were meant to become friends, having met after both signing up for soccer
try-outs and hitting it off immediately after.
Jeno, always being there for Donghyuck whenever his parents had arguments and he wanted to be anywhere else. Jeno, always having open arms for whenever he overheard things he wasn’t supposed to. Jeno’s bed, always available for when Donghyuck just didn’t feel like being at home.
It was on a day
like this when Donghyuck woke up to his best friend’s head on his chest, arms slipped over his waist, that he realized that maybe what he felt for Jeno was not purely platonic.
And judging by the way that Jeno initiated hand holding, the way Jeno rested his head on the crook of Donghyuck’s neck, the way he didn’t mind the little touches sent his way, Donghyuck thought that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about him.
But he was wrong. So terribly wrong.
Looking back at it now he doesn’t know what overcame him, the night he decided to kiss his best friend. The music was so loud he could feel it in every inch of his body, and he wasn’t even drunk yet.
Jaemin
had decided to throw a party as a celebration for their last semester at NYU, so of course he and Jeno decided to tag along.
He had lost Jeno in a swarm of bodies but it was fine because he felt at peace with his environment. It wasn’t until an underclassmen started grinding herself on him that he
snapped out of it.
“Want to get out of here?” She asked with lusty eyes.
He panicked. It’s not like he didn’t know how to act with girls, he’s had girlfriends before, but they weren’t where his heart was at.
And across the room, he finds it: Jeno, eyes roaming around the room until he spots Donghyuck and smiles. The electricity
he feels while holding eye contact is undefeated, from his head to his toes. He was in love.
“Sorry, I have someone waiting for me.” He tries to say over the music and heads towards Jeno, not sparing
her a second glance.
He smiles back at Jeno as he gets closer, heart growing warmer.
“Hey” He smiles, trying to be heard over the loud bass.
Jeno says something back but it’s too loud so it’s lost in the music. He notices and frowns, pulling Donghyuck with him to the nearest empty room.
“What happened?” Donghyuck worries, knowing his best friend was beyond anxious about passing his first test in his geotechnical engineering class.
“My results! The test's been graded, I got a 93, I passed!” Jeno smiles and Donghyuck feels his heart beat ten times faster, if possible.
“I’m so proud of you, I told you you’d pass!” He says as he reaches forward to hug Jeno.
“You always believe the best of me.” Jeno mumbles along Donghyuck’s neck, making him feel shivers throughout his whole body.
Donghyuck moves back slowly, still in embrace, “It’s because you are
the best.” He smiles.
Maybe it’s the way Jeno is looking at him as if he hung all the stars in the sky, as if he’s the one who gave him an A, whatever it is, it causes him to lean towards Jeno; lips crashing on lips.
Jeno reacts quickly to the contact, kissing back with passion he didn’t know he had in him. The kisses become frantic, as if they’re both trying to make the best of it while they can, as if in a dream or a trance. Donghyuck pushes Jeno against the wall, not breaking the kiss, not wanting to waste one second of something he’s been wanting for what seems like forever.
Jeno’s hands move underneath his shirt, exploring his backside and pushing them even closer together, if possible. This causes unexpected friction, and Donghyuck’s hips move up towards him, resulting in a moan escaping from Jeno's
lips.
As if he’s been splashed with ice cold water, Jeno snaps out of his trance. He stops kissing Donghyuck, pushing himself away, and looks at him with what Donghyuck can only decipher as disgust.
“I-I’m sorr-“ He doesn’t even get to finish his apology before Jeno runs out of the room, leaving him with the pieces of his broken heart.
Three weeks later, Donghyuck finds
out from Jaemin that Jeno started dating some girl from his hydrology class.
“Look. I get it, we don’t have to talk about it. You have Jieun
now.” Donghyuck sighs.
“No, I mean, yes I have Jieun, but that’s not what I want to talk to you about.”
Then what? Do you want to talk about how you were kissing me back? How you were the one that pushed us closer together? How you love me as much as
I love you?
“What happened that night was a mistake,”
And just like that the heart Donghyuck thought was broken two months ago, cracked deeper. He didn't think things could have gotten worse, but once again, he was wrong.
“it wasn’t supposed to happen. Can we just go back to how things were before then? You don’t have to go to Canada.”
He scoffs, “I’m not going to Canada because of you! Did it ever occur to you that maybe I just wanted to start somewhere new? No, it didn’t, because all you care about is yourself!” Donghyuck spits out, angry because he knows Jeno is right.
Despite the insult, Jeno’s eyes soften.
“Hyuck… It’s just not right. We’re guys… I think maybe we were just single for too long…” Jeno treads, but just as well as he knows Donghyuck, Donghyuck knows him.
If he didn’t know before, he knows now. He could tell from the longing looks that Jeno would give him when he thought he wasn’t looking. He could tell from the way that his smile didn’t reach his eyes when he was with his girlfriend. He could tell that Jeno wanted him as much as he did, loved him even.
And that’s why he had to leave. He knew Jeno. Jeno would never date Donghyuck, not openly. Even if they dated, he was sure Jeno would want to keep it a secret from everyone, stuffing Donghyuck in a closet; suffocating him. Knowing this hurt him more than it would have if Jeno simply didn’t reciprocate his feelings. He couldn’t stand being near him, knowing his heart was reaching for him but not doing anything about it.
Donghyuck
had spent too much of his life in the closet to ever want to be stuck there again. He couldn’t do it, not even for Jeno.
He took a deep breath and hoped his next words would come out without wavering,
“If that’s how you feel, I won’t try to change your mind… I’m too old to be playing these games, Jeno. You know how I feel and if you’re not ready then, maybe, it’s just not meant to be. You know the saying, ‘right person, wrong time.’” He gave a weak smile.
Donghyuck believed in all things happening for a reason. Even if Jeno
did
feel the same way for him, he wasn’t going to try to be anything more than friends. It would be a different story if he thought Jeno
would change the way he views things, he would have waited for him. But he knew better than that, he knew that years of following what society considered “normal” stuck with Jeno. Jeno
would never be able to shake up those stereotypical thoughts about sexuality. He knew from the moment he went over, and overheard Jeno's
parents say, “Don’t you think the boys seem too
close, honey? Should we do something about it before the neighbors start saying things?” They must’ve said something to Jeno
that night, since that was the last time they cuddled together in bed.
“I’ll always be your friend Jeno, I hope you know this. I just… need to get away for a little. Get these feelings off my chest. I promise I’ll come back as soon as they’re gone. I don’t want to risk losing what’s left of our friendship.” He said, sincerely.
Jeno
looked pained but understanding seemed to flash through his eyes and he nodded. He wished, more than anything, that Jeno
would try to stop him and tell him he loved him, but this wasn’t that type of world.
“Take care of yourself, Hyuck. I hope we keep in touch.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“So, are you coming?”
“Hyuck?”
“Hello?..."
He shook his head, disappointed the memories of his last night in New York took over once again.
“I’m sorry, Jaemin, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it this thanksgiving… I’ve got a lot of work piled up, you know how law is…” He dragged, hoping his excuse seemed believable enough. "But I'll definitely try to make it for Christmas!"
A pause.
“Yeah, I know… Didn’t know it was that bad up there. Also, isn't that what you said last year before you left? You were too busy for Christmas too...” He felt a sudden need to defend Vancouver but that would only go against what he said so he stayed quiet.
“By the way, how are you Hyuck? Haven’t spoken to you in a couple of days.”
Donghyuck sighed, heart hurting
with how much he missed his friends.
“Honestly? I love it here. I miss you guys like crazy, but I love everything about this place. How about you, how are you? How are the guys, Renjun, Jisung, Chenle, Jeno?” He asked, hoping he didn’t pause too long on Jeno’s name.
He still thought about him every now and then, he wasn’t lying when he said he was busy. But sometimes, when the day was a certain type of sunny where everything looked a shade of gold, he couldn’t help but think of when he and Jeno watched the sunset together. He could swear he still remembered the way Jeno would compliment him and compare his skin to the sunset. On these days, Donghyuck worked late; making sure to not leave his office until after the sun set.
“Well, you know, we all started working right after graduation. Nothing fun there. Oh wait! Jisung proposed to Chenle! I think they’re getting married summer next year, he said he would send us the invitations when they plan things out a little more. He’s the only one making me proud, Renjun is still trying to be a player, acting like he’s not about to be twenty-six.”
He laughed, knowing how his friends were and missing them all at once.
“I’m so happy for Jisung and Chenle! They were always crazy for each other. I’ll never forget that one day, freshman year, when he told us a cute boy asked for his help in math. He was so excited until he realized he forgot to ask for his number. Honestly, he’s lucky Chenle thought he was good looking, otherwise I don’t see why anyone
would ask Park Jisung for help.”
He was smiling, reliving the memories. Laughing when he remembered that Jisung was worried that Chenle wouldn’t be into tall, skinny, guys.
“He majored in law too, right? I feel like I remember seeing Chenle in a couple of my classes. Who would’ve thought Jisung would marry the first person he dated in college, huh?”
“Yeah, he did! I had him
for some of my classes too! And, yeah, that lucky bastard. What about you though, have you met anybody there? Any guys or girls caught your eye?” Jaemin wavered.
Normally, Donghyuck wouldn't find this question weird since his friends were always in his business. But the way that Jaemin asked it made him feel a little suspicious, this and the fact that he completely avoided speaking about Jeno, even when he asked about him.
“No, you know me, I’m basically single for life, Nana. I haven’t had the time to meet anyone new.” He answered, truthfully. Even though when he did
have free time, the last thing on his mind was looking for someone new, he was not ready enough to put his heart out there again.
“Oh, true you always were.” Jaemin laughed awkwardly, and Donghyuck wondered whether or not he should question his friend’s weird actions.
“I actually have to get going though! I’m glad we got to talk, hope you meet someone soo—ah!" Jaemin got cut off and he could only hear a shuffling and a whispered, "Okay, sorry." Before he continued, "Bye Hyuck, it was nice catching up with you. Stay safe!”
Well, as far as phone conversations go, that one could have been worse.
He couldn’t help but wonder why Jaemin was acting weird when asking about him meeting someone. Had something serious happened between Jeno and Jieun? Were they engaged too, and Jaemin was just showing his concern for him? Donghyuck wasn’t dumb, he knew that some of his friends must have had an idea about what was happening between him and Jeno. Judging by the way that they never questioned how close they were.
Maybe this was the thought that had Donghyuck going to a club that Friday night, but he wouldn’t admit it to himself. He didn’t want to put Jeno as someone important enough in his heart to control whether or not he should try and meet someone. At least that’s what he told himself.
As soon as he stepped in the club, clad in ripped jeans and a loose-fitting t-shirt, he wondered whether he had made the right choice. Clubbing wasn’t fun without his friends, so he ended up sitting on the bar stool, disappointed he wasn’t having fun even though it was his fault for being a coward.
“Can I help you with a drink?” The attractive bartender asked.
“Is there a drink that’ll make me irresistible to men?”
“Mmm… I think that’s called plastic surgery, but I’ll get you a scotch. You seem to be going through it.”
The bar was particularly lonely, everyone else was grinding on each other by the dance floor or making out in the booths.
“Yeah, I guess you can say that.” He replied, thankful.
The bartender looked around, for customers he assumed, and said,
“Mind sharing? Not like we have anyone else to talk to.”
Donghyuck scoffed but it’s not like he was lying.
“I just came to the realization that all my friends have better love lives than me while I still haven’t even lost my gay virginity, I’m Donghyuck by the way.”
If the bartender would have been drinking something, he swears he would have been choking. Maybe he didn’t expect Donghyuck to be so honest. But the bartender—,
“What’s your name?”
“Mark.”
—Mark looked like someone who wouldn’t judge him. Or maybe it was because he was feeling a little tipsy, who knows.
“Is that why you came here? To find someone to fuck?” Mark laughs, non-judgmental.
“I guess? I mean I don’t think I was expecting anything, I just felt a little suffocated. Needed to let it out.”
Mark nods, as if he too had gone through it before as well.
The two talk about small things like Donghyuck being a lawyer and him having moved from NYC, how Mark doesn’t actually work at the bar and was just covering for a sick friend, and how they both prefer the winter over the summer.
He doesn’t even drink more than the first three drinks Mark gave him before they started talking, too invested in finally having gotten to know someone that isn’t work related.
“You know, you’re my first friend here. I’ve been here for a little more than a year and everyone I met was because of work.”
“Oh wow, I didn’t know I was your first! It was an honor deflowering you.” Mark jokes, and Donghyuck swears he might be flirting—or maybe Donghyuck hopes he is.
Donghyuck smiles at him.
“You know… I don’t usually do this but… If you were down, I wouldn’t mind actually being your first.” Mark says, sounding like a whisper which is almost impossible with all the music.
A beat passes, and Donghyuck swears his heart is as loud as the bass playing in the background.
“I wouldn’t mind either.”
And like that, the two found themselves in Donghyuck’s company-provided extravagant apartment. If there was a word for apartments that were bigger than houses, this was it, and he was living in one.
He wasn’t going to lie and say he didn’t feel nervous, he’d never had sex with a man before. This didn’t mean he didn’t know what to do, he’d watched enough porn to know what happens.
“Well, this is it.” He states as he locks the door of the apartment behind them.
As soon as he turned around, Mark’s mouth was on his, and he wasn’t complaining. Mark tasted sweet despite the alcohol they had consumed earlier. Donghyuck felt oddly safe in Mark's arms regardless of the fact that they hadn't known each other for more than a couple of hours. At one point he wondered is this really how
I want to lose my virginity? But honestly, he just wanted to get it over with and there was something he trusted in Mark, maybe they could even
be friends after.
He was no longer scared or worried.
The night ended with both Mark and Donghyuck blissed out and asleep, in each other's arms. He dreams about a certain bartender with black hair and dark eyes, telling him everything's going to be alright.
☾
Donghyuck was glad he woke up first. Not only did he have time to get himself together but he was also able to look at the beauty that is Mark—wait, what's his last name?—sleeping. Soft, raven-black hair, smooth porcelain colored skin, long eyelashes, a fit ass body, and he was great in bed,
this boy really had it all. Donghyuck wasn't particularly lacking by any means but this boy right here was pretty enough to be an idol.
After Donghyuck stopped being creepy, he decided it would be best to get up and make some coffee and even some food—he had a guest over after all. Speaking of—thinking of?—
he really hoped Mark wouldn't be awkward about the whole thing, he really seemed like a cool guy and Donghyuck wouldn't mind being his friend.
But
I mean, if he was fine sleeping with me then he'd be fine with being my friend too, right? Am
I overthinking this?
He considered that maybe he was, in fact, overthinking as he scrambled some eggs. Donghyuck decided to push that subject to the back of his mind and continue working with the bacon and sausages. He was glad that he had the time to teach himself how to cook in the year he lived by himself since arriving Vancouver, Jaemin would do all the cooking back in their shared apartment—Donghyuck washed the dishes so he didn't feel
completely
useless.
"You're up early for a Saturday." Mark said, voice husky with sleep as he stepped in the kitchen.
"Yeah, it's the lawyer thing, I don't even need an alarm anymore." He gets two plates and starts serving breakfast "You're just in
time for some eggs and bacon!" He smiled.
"And sausage, apparently. Wow, a lawyer
and a cook. You're such a catch Donghyuck." Mark flirts.
"Well, I feel like it's the least I could do since... you know"
"Since I slept with you?" Mark laughs, a breathtaking, heartwarming laugh. He laughed with his whole body, unlike someone he knew who laughed with his eyes. "Thanks, I guess? I mean I enjoyed it so I still feel like I won here."
Donghyuck could feel his cheeks warm up.
How is he okay with talking about it so openly like this while
I can't even control my own blushing?
"Do you want to do something with me today?" Donghyuck asked, feeling brave and wanting to change the subject all in one.
"What, do you want to fuck again? I mean I'm down but, like, let me shower first. Or join me?" Mark smiled.
"Oh my god, you're insatiable. I meant hanging out outside of here, exploring the city maybe? I've been here for a year and I still don't really know anything about the place. You said you were born here right?" He asked, trying to recall
if Mark told him last night. Truthfully, the only thing he could really remember was calling out Mark's name over and over but that wasn't really relevant at the moment.
Mark laughed, "Yeah I was born and raised here—my parents have too many things going on to ever leave. But yes, I'd love to show you around! An unofficial tour from an official citizen. You're lucky my schedule cleared up for today."
"Thank you, I'll make sure to repay you someway" he flirted "and, your schedule? What exactly is it that you do again? Apart from filling in for your friends at a bar, obviously." Donghyuck asked, curious.
"Oh... I, uh... work at a company, you probably haven't heard of it..."
"I'm a lawyer, I've had at least one case against every company there is here in Vancouver. Hit me with it."
"Leesun Enterprises."
"No way. You thought I didn't know about Leesun Enterprises?? They're the biggest company in the technology game right now, you work there?" He asked, eyes wide.
"Well I was trying to stay humble alright, but yeah I do. Uh... should we start heading out? Actually, can I take a shower here first? And... borrow some clothes maybe? Mine are a bit... torn..."
The image of how the buttons on Mark's shirt were torn reach his mind and he can't help but smile.
"Oh yeah, you're right. You can go ahead and shower," He pointed towards the rest room "I'll pick some clothes out for you if you'd like? Or would you like to choose?" Donghyuck was worried he'd choose the wrong thing.
Mark got up and made his way to the rest room, "No, it's okay. I trust you." He said without turning back to see the smile on Donghyuck's face.
Donghyuck takes the liberty in choosing a white turtleneck and some blue jeans for Mark but then remembers how cold it's going to be and adds a blue jacket just in case. He reevaluates what he's wearing but decides to simply add a leather jacket on top of his black and white striped turtleneck that he loves so much.
Is it too cold to wear my black ripped jeans?
Should
I change?
But he decided to keep them on because
they make my ass look good.
The duo were out as soon as Mark got out of the shower and changed.
"So, is there a specific place you'd like to visit, or would you like me to choose?" Mark asked.
And this is how they ended up at Stanley Park, walking side by side and enjoying the beautiful fall colors of gold, red, and yellow on the trees. They walked for what seemed like hours but was probably only one since Donghyuck got tired of walking so much and decided to sit down on a bench, facing the water. The pair talked about many different things such as how "Michael Jackson was the best artist to ever exist and no one will ever compare," and how Mark "could've been a big underground rapper," but his parents were never going to allow it.
"Wait," Hyuck interrupted, laughing. "wait... Are you really telling me you'd be a
rapper?"
"I am so serious! I would've been the best rapper in the game."
"Okay, Drake" He smiled.
"Drake's not even from Vancouver! He's from Toronto! Oh my god," Mark looked around "I hope no one heard you say that. I can't be seen with someone who thought Drake was from Vancouver."
Donghyuck rolled his eyes but laughed, "Sorry... Told you no artist can compare to MJ so there's no reason for me to know where he's from."
Mark simply shook his head, disagreeing silently.
"Look! The sun is setting! Isn't it beautiful, Hyuck?"
And just like that, he wasn't in Canada anymore. He was in New York, on the rooftop of Jeno's apartment building watching the sunset with his best friend. They were sitting
next to each other huddled in some blankets. The air was cold around them but
not a single part of him could feel it. He was busy looking at the way the sun reflected off of all the buildings around him when he noticed another apartment had their window open and a cat was also looking out. Donghyuck smiled and turned to show Jeno but that's when he noticed that the older boy was already looking at him.
"What? Is there something on my face?" Donghyuck asked, concerned.
"No, I just, the sunset complements you so well. You're beautiful, Hyuck." Jeno smiled, love pouring out of his eyes and sincerity written across his face.
"Hyuck?"
"Donghyuck? Are you okay?" Mark asked, worried, snapping Donghyuck out of the memory that seemed so long ago.
His heart hurt. It was getting hard to breathe. How could he so easily forget the love he and Jeno shared? How could he already be creating new memories with someone else?
The same way he got a girlfriend after we kissed,
I suppose.
And with that thought, he decided to put
Jeno and their memories shared in the back of his mind. The same way he did.
"I'm sorry, yes, I'm fine. You just... you called me Hyuck and it threw me off. Sorry..."Please don't ask me about it.
I'm not ready to talk about Jeno with you. Let me live in a world
where
Jeno doesn't exist, where
Donghyuck and Jeno aren't a package deal, for a little longer—even if it is a lie.
"Sorry, I should've asked. Is it not okay for me to call you that? Would you prefer I call you Donghyuck instead?
"I..." He paused.
"How about Haechan?" Mark suggested, carefully. He seemed to understand that using "Hyuck" made him feel things and Donghyuck was thankful he didn't press
further.
"Haechan?" Donghyuck repeated, testing it
to see how it rolled out of his tongue.
"Yes, I feel like it suits you. You're always shining—like the sun. A full sun." He smiled at him. An honest, charming smile. Donghyuck couldn't help but smile back.
"Well, I suppose, if you think it suits me then why not?"
"It's getting late, let's get out of here before they close us in. Are you hungry? I know a great Korean place around the corner." Mark said, standing up from the bench.
"Actually... I'm a little tired." Donghyuck answered, honestly. The resurfacing of old memories tends to do that to people.
Mark's crestfallen face makes him immediately regret his decision but by then it was too late.
"Oh... That's okay too, we did walk a lot. Sorry." He stammered.
"No, don't worry! I had fun, we should definitely do this again." He smiled, hoping that his face showed how honest he was being. He didn't want to hurt Mark's feelings just because he got upset at an old memory.
"That sounds great, speaking of, can I get your number? I don't think we've exchanged them yet." Mark laughed, taking his phone out.
"Oh yea, that's true! Here's mine." Donghyuck agreed as he put in his phone number on Mark's phone and handed his to Mark for him to do the same.
"Now that that's settled, let's go. I'll drive you to your place?" Donghyuck questioned.
"Umm... Actually... Can you take me to the bar? I kind of left my car there last night since we left in yours..." He scratched his neck, smiling.
"Right, of course, I'll take you there." Donghyuck didn't have to check to know he was blushing.
When am
I going to learn to be as cool about this as he is? God, he makes me feel nervous.
The drive to the bar was a mixture of them singing Michael Jackson songs
and Donghyuck threatening to turn the music off
if Mark played another one of his friend's SoundCloud tracks because "once was enough Mark but I swear if I have to go through that again I
will crash this car."
"Here we are." Donghyuck noted, as they both got out of the car outside the bar.
"Thank you for bringing me back."
"It's no problem, thank you for showing me one of the most beautiful spots in Vancouver. I had fun."
"Not as much as I did. Let me know if you want to do it again sometime, I'll make sure to keep my schedule open for you." Mark smiled at him.
"Definitely. And, if it's okay, can I let you know if I want to do something else too?" Donghyuck asked, hoping Mark would get the message and not make him spell it out.
"I thought you'd never ask. Of course. See you again soon, Haechan." Mark waved goodbye as he entered his car, leading Donghyuck to do the same.
He drove home in quiet peacefulness, the smile never leaving his face. Everything about today had already been better than most of the days before. He had gotten home and cleaned up, ready to make himself some dinner, when he started scrolling through his social media and saw the one thing that could wipe that smile off—Jeno.Not just Jeno, but Jeno having fun with all his friends. Jaemin, Jisung, Chenle, and Renjun. Donghyuck didn't know what hurt more. Knowing his friends could easily move on without him after knowing them for years or the fact that
Jeno could move on without him after knowing him his whole life. After having loved him.
That's enough. No more moping for me.
So he reached for his phone and called the one person he knew could bring a smile to his face even though he was hurting inside.
Calling...
....
...
"Hello?"
"Hey, Mark, sorry about before. Are you still free right now?" His heart was beating nervously, waiting for a reply.
"I told you
I'd keep my schedule open for you Haechan, I'll go pick you up." And he could tell without even looking, that Mark was smiling at him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Donghyuck had changed
his mind on the situation about half a million times by the time he received
a text from Mark, letting him know he was
outside and asking him if he wanted him to go up for him. He replied saying no, that he'd meet him outside.
There was no point in Mark going up just to go back down again, but the thought behind his question made Donghyuck smile.
Grabbing his coat and wallet, he made his way down to the entrance of his loft, careful not to start overthinking again. Mark was waiting outside his car, still wearing the outfit Donghyuck had chosen for him earlier, looking up at the sky and frowning. Once he noticed Donghyuck approaching he smiled and opened the car door for him.
"What's up with the frown? Is everything okay?" Haechan asked, concerned, once Mark got in the car.
He looked surprised, as if he didn't think Haechan would notice his expression from earlier.
"Yeah everything's fine, great actually! Since you called me sooner than I thought you would."
He laughed,
"I just have a feeling it's going to rain tonight so that kind of limits the amount of things we can do, but I have an idea."
Haechan checks the weather app on his phone and notices that Mark is right, there's an 84% chance of rain starting in the next hour or so.
"What are we going to do then?"
"Well there's this beautiful exhibit I was planning on seeing by myself on the weekend but now that you're with me I don't see why we can't go now." Mark explains.
"You were planning on going by yourself?" He muses, not too surprised by the thought of Mark going out by himself.
"Yeah well I didn't have a beautiful date when I first made the plans." He smiles.
Haechan doesn't find himself opposed to the idea of calling it a date, the thought settles warmly in his stomach.
Once they reach the museum Mark opens his door and holds his hand, leading him towards the entrance. It feels so much like a real date he can't help but wonder what they are.
Am
I even ready for a relationship right now?
His thoughts are silenced by the view inside the museum. Mark was right, it
was beautiful. Almost as if he could hear his thoughts, Mark spoke,
"Now you see why I was willing to come alone huh?"
Donghyuck could only nod in agreement, too awed by the paintings and sculptures around him.
Together they walked through halls filled with paintings by artists he was too dumb to know, suddenly feeling sorry he couldn't take any art appreciation classes due to his heavy law course load.
"Are we allowed to take pictures in here? I want to make sure I don't forget anything." He looks around, searching for a "no pictures allowed" sign but fails to see one.
"Yeah you can take pictures! I just don't think flash is allowed in dark exhibits I believe."
Donghyuck nods and takes his phone out, thankful he had the galaxy brain to fully charge it before he left. He starts taking pictures of the paintings he thought were the prettiest. Mark followed his lead and took his phone out too.
Donghyuck took Mark's distraction as his opportunity to take a picture of him, while he was taking a picture of a painting in front of him.
He's so cute.
"C'mon let's take a selfie in front of this sculpture!" He suggests and Mark nods and gets closer to him.
"Good evening sir, would you two like me to take a picture for you?" A curator asks Mark, a smile plastered on her face.
"Yes please!" Donghyuck accepts as he passes his phone to her.
The two of them fumble for a bit, trying to get in the best position for a picture, and settle on Mark putting his arm around his waist.
Donghyuck stays behind looking at the sculpture of the Greek goddess while Mark retrieves his phone, unable to hear the conversation that takes place.
"Director we didn't know you were coming today or else we would've made special accommodations for you and your guest."
"It's okay," He starts, looking back at Haechan.
"I didn't want to make it a big deal, can you please tell everyone to act like I'm just a regular customer? I'm trying to keep things incognito tonight."
The curator matches his line of vision, looking back at Haechan, and nods with a smile.
"Of course, sir! As far as anyone knows, you're just another regular."
He nods a silent thanks and goes back to Haechan, handing him his phone.
Donghyuck looks at the pictures taken and laughs when he sees one of both of them with their eyes closed, he passes his phone to Mark.
"We're so photogenic, aren't we? Could almost pass as models." He laughs as Mark views the photos.
Mark laughs in agreement and they continue to look at the artwork around them.
Donghyuck takes a long look at a painting in front of him and sighs.
"What's up?" Mark asks.
"Nothing just, looking at all these paintings and sculptures really makes me wish I would've been talented in the arts. Instead of, y'know, law. It seems like something fun to do, I just wish I was actually good at it."
"Anyone can be good at art, Haechan."
Donghyuck looks at him incredulously.
Say that to my B- in
high school art.
"I'm serious, a little practice is needed that's all! C'mon-" He says as he takes Donghyuck's hand and leads him past the exhibit.
He doesn't question where Mark's taking him. That's the type of person Mark is, Donghyuck is able to let himself go around him. Trust without worry.
Mark takes him to the museum art store and buys some incredibly overpriced canvases, paint, and brushes. Donghyuck is sure they could have bought these at a local dollar store for less, but they can both afford this, and the quality would be better, so he doesn't complain or voice his thoughts.
"What are you planning on doing now, Michelangelo?" He teases.
"Proving you wrong, pretty boy."
Donghyuck smiles at the nickname Mark chose in reply to his tease and realizes he likes the fact that he replied something flirty.
The two are about to leave the museum when they notice it—the rain.
"If you want, I can go bring the car around, so you won't get wet." Mark offers.
And while Donghyuck thinks he's cute for offering, he's never been scared of a little rain.
"It'd be faster if we both just run!" He replies as he grabs marks hand and takes off.
They run through the parking lot, hand in hand, towards Mark's car. Even getting rained on, Mark is a gentleman and opens his door for him. By the time they're both in the car they're soaking wet but Donghyuck can't find it in him to care, having a bright smile on his face.
The drive back to Donghyuck's loft is nice and warm thanks to Mark's car having seat warmers and the towel he offered him to dry up. The rain clears up by the time they arrive and they're able to enter without getting soaked for a second time. Going up the elevator, art supplies in hand, Donghyuck can't help but be grateful that he cleaned before he left.
They decide to sit down on the floor and spread the paint between them, each one having their own canvas. Donghyuck brings a plate of fruits and wine as well.
"I literally have no idea what to paint, you're really not proving me wrong with this." Donghyuck complains.
Mark laughs, having been painting for a good five minutes now,
"Just paint the first thing that comes to your mind, it'll work out I promise."
Donghyuck sighs and thinks some more. Thank God I'm successful as a lawyer because otherwise I don't think I'd be able to have a career anywhere else.
He finally settles on drawing a maple leaf, deciding that it's only right since he's in Canada. Both of them work dedicatedly on their respective paintings, in a peaceful silence, sharing laughs when they spill some paint on themselves. Donghyuck won't lie and say he's not curious as to what Mark chose to draw but he also respects their decision to wait until they were both done to show each other.
Once they both reached a point where they were satisfied with their work, they finally decided to share.
Mark chose to paint a city,
is that Vancouver?, with a beautiful sun looking over it.
"Wow, that sure beats what I drew." Donghyuck sighs in defeat.
"No, don't say that! Your maple leaf is really good! I don't get why you said you were bad; I was half expecting stick figures."
Donghyuck laughs and shoves mark gently,
"Well, why did you choose to draw a city? I think me choosing a maple leaf is quite obvious so there's no need for me to explain."
"You might have guessed it, it's Vancouver. I'm not that good at art but I tried to show the way the sun was shining over the whole city. It's kind of a metaphor for my life right now. You're the sun, making my city brighter."
Donghyuck's breath catches, and if it were realistically possible, feels his heart fluttering.
"You look like you want to kiss me." Mark teases, smiling.
"I'm not nearly drunk enough to sleep with you right now, Mark." He counters, joking.
"You need to be drunk to have sex with me? I can do it perfectly sober." He says, face filling up with a hurt expression. One Donghyuck did not mean to cause.
"No, that's not what I meant. I just—I meant—" But Mark's face looks so crestfallen that Donghyuck decides it'd be best to kiss that frown out of his face, which he does.
And it works because Mark smiles into the kiss, deepening it, the reason he was upset long forgotten. Donghyuck may have been the one to initiate the kiss but he was, by no means, the one leading it. Mark's hand was on his cheek, treating him delicately as always. But sometimes, delicate isn't what you need.
"You can be rough with me, baby" Donghyuck whispers, as Mark presses soft kisses on his neck, something that would've made his knees give out if it wasn't for the fact that they were already on the floor. He suddenly felt thankful they decided to do their little art thing on the carpet, paint stains be damned.
But Mark doesn't need to be told twice. Next thing he knows he's being pushed back onto the floor, with Mark hovering over him.
If their first time was careful and gentle, this time was anything but. It was as if with one night, their bodies got accustomed to each other, being able to react and move in the way the other needed. Mark was using Donghyuck as a canvas, painting him in hues of pleasure, making it easy for him to comply.
☾
After they both gained the energy to get up again, they begin to clean up. Donghyuck can't help but notice how late it is,
"Would you like to spend the night? I wouldn't want you driving out this late at night." He offers.
Mark looks at his watch and back at Donghyuck, "You're right, I didn't realize it was this late. I wouldn't want to bother you for another night though."
Donghyuck shakes his head, opposing, "It's no bother at all you should know by now that I like having you here" He smiles.
Mark returns his smile, "Well then I guess I'm inclined to acce—" But he's interrupted by his phone ringing.
"Sorry it the office, I have to take this, give me a sec?" And Donghyuck nods, taking the wine glasses back to the kitchen.
From there, he can't hear the conversation that takes place.
"Sorry to call you on your personal phone Mark, we've been trying to reach you on your work cell for an hour now and
I
know you
said
to never call you on this phone, but this was urgent."
"It's okay," he sighs, "what happened Johnny?" Johnny was his Marketing Director and closest friend, only he had the ability to call him on his personal phone instead of his work phone, which is the one he left in his car.
"It's the NeoTech project, Vision Inc. they—the offer fell through sir, they said that they don't
like our terms and will not sign unless we agree to theirs."
God... not NeoTech...
"Okay, don't worry, I can go to the office and call them. We can talk about their conditions, reorganize and resign."
"That's what we told them Mark, but they said that you'd
have to go to them. They want to talk about things on their terms, on their land."
That's when Haechan rejoins him in the living room, having finished washing the dishes used.
"Do you need to use my room, or would you prefer I step out for a bit?" He whispers.
Mark shakes his head, "It's okay, just work stuff. You can stay." He doubted that Haechan would be able to decipher much from his side of the conversation anyway.
"That's okay then, I'll go to them." He said, resigned, knowing he wasn't going to be able to stay the night with Haechan like he wanted to.
"I thought you'd say that; I already talked to your secretary and booked the next flight to China
available. It leaves in an hour; your secretary packed your suitcase and will be
waiting for you at YVR. I'll be staying here to help process the new documents, but
I
think it's best if you go now."
"You're right, thanks, I'll be going now." He finishes, ending the call.
"You have to go?" Donghyuck gathers, from Mark's half of the conversation.
"Yeah, sorry, your offer was really tempting but something came up at work—raincheck?" Mark offers.
Donghyuck smiles, "Of course, be safe, I hope everything works out."
Donghyuck watches as Mark grabs his things, ready to go, he walks him to the door. Mark kisses him goodbye, "Goodnight Haechannie, thank you for changing your mind today. And remember, I'm always a phone call away if you need me." He closes the door behind him, leaving Donghyuck alone in the loft.
He finishes cleaning and drinks more wine after he's done. And like always, he starts thinking too much. Donghyuck knows he shouldn't be feeling the way he does but he can't help it. He feels a gap in his life, somewhere in his chest. Maybe he's had too much to drink.
Recently, his days have been filled with smiles and laughs so you'd think he'd be happy. You'd think he'd have moved on.
Maybe because all he did was run away without reaching a true conclusion.
What a funny thought, I'm the one that moved away but he's the one that moved on.
He thinks, but shakes his head, remembering Jeno moved on much before Donghyuck had moved to Canada.
Canada.
Donghyuck still remembers his reaction when he got the job offer from Canada. It was a couple of months before graduation and he was waiting for his dream law firm to get back in touch with him with results after an interview.
He remembers that he received the offer through email while impatiently, and nervously, refreshing his inbox.
"I don't think you refreshing and refreshing is going to make the email arrive faster, Hyuckie." Jeno had said, laughing lightly.
"They said they'd contact me in 3-5 days Jeno! It's been five! What if they rejected me but didn't even think I was worth sending a rejection email to? Where will I work now? We had it all planned out!" He stresses.
Jeno's eyes softer and he walks over to the bed where the younger was sitting, legs crisscrossed.
"Hyuck, any law firm would be lucky to have you. You're top of your class and you have the most distinctions and honors compared to anyone else I know!" He affirms, placing a hand on Donghyuck's exposed knee.
Donghyuck smiles and hopes that the pressure points in his knee aren't strong enough to let Jeno know how fast and hard his heart is beating. And not because of the email.
"Aren't I the only law major you know though?" He probes.
Jeno rolls his eyes, "You know what I mean!"
The conversation ends but Jeno doesn't make to remove his hand from Donghyuck's knee, not that he wants him to.
As if he wasn't stressed before.
He continues furiously refreshing his inbox. In between one of those refreshes, he receives a new email.
His heart beats faster and his eyes widen. Jeno notices the change in his best friend's behavior,
"Is everything okay? Did they get back to you?"
Donghyuck remains quiet as his eyes roam over the email.
"No... I got an offer, just not from them..." He looks up at Jeno whose eyebrows are raised inquisitively.
"I got an offer from a law firm in Canada, Lawson Lundell, they said they'd pay for everything; living expenses, travel costs, anything that concerns me going over there and working for them. It even says here that they'd pay for my gas money to commute to and from work!" He rambles.
Jeno's grip hardens slightly on his knee, almost unnoticeable. If it wasn't for the fact that Donghyuck notices everything about Jeno. Years of being in love with your best friend will do that to you.
"That's great Hyuck! It's what you deserve, really. How did this even happen? How did a law firm from Canada get in contact with you?"
"Oh, well, one of my professors has a ton of connections and told me that since I was his favorite student, he'd pull some strings for me after graduation. He asked me what country I wanted to visit, and I told him Canada as a joke! Remember how we both said we wanted to try the pancakes there? Anyway, he gave me an email and told me to send them my resume, I didn't think they'd actually get back to me though!" He mentions, excitedly and feeling giddy.
"Just from a resume? They gave you an offer based on solely your resume?" Jeno asked, baffled.
"Actually, they interviewed me via Skype, I really didn't know they were from Canada I just thought that maybe they were too busy to see me in person or something. This makes so much more sense now." He informs, recalling his surprise at being asked to be interviewed through Skype.
A silence falls between them and Donghyuck tears his eyes away from the email and glances at Jeno. His face wears what looks to be the beginning of a frown, looking concerned and deep in thought. Donghyuck looks at the email again and then back to his best friend. It's not a hard decision to make.
"It's a nice offer, but it's not what I want. I'm sure Latham & Watkins will contact me soon! Plus, I only applied to Lawson Lundell because my professor sent me their email and I didn't want him to think I wasn't grateful." He reassures, making sure to keep his voiced leveled in order not to arise suspicion.
He doesn't want Jeno to think he was giving up a great offer just because he wanted to work in a law firm that was coincidentally close to where his engineer best friend, and crush, was going to work at.
Even if it was a little true.
Anyone could see that this was a great offer, but some things were simply more important to Donghyuck.
Plus, Latham & Watkins was a super prestigious law firm so it's not like he was settling in any type of way.
Jeno looks at him questioningly but it seems like Donghyuck did a good job at making it seem like it wasn't a big deal because the smile returns to his eyes.
Donghyuck closes his laptop and sets it aside, "What do you say we go to the convenience store and get ice cream? I've been craving a mean ice cream sandwich, my treat!"
Jeno removes his hand and gets up, "I'm down, let's go! See, I bet not that many people eat those in Canada considering how cold it is." He adds.
Donghyuck wants to say that it's cold here too and that the two of them actually eat ice cream in December so it doesn't matter regardless but he doesn't want his best friend to concern himself with the thought of him moving away. Who'd ever want to move away from home?
And he wasn't talking about New York.
He receives an offer from Latham & Watkins the next day.
Now Donghyuck is absolutely sure he had too much to drink because he decides to do the most stupid thing possible. He reaches for his phone, finger hovering over a specific name. He presses the number and dials, but this time it's not Mark he's calling.
His mind is racing with questions, what is he going to do if Jeno doesn't answer? But most importantly, what is he going to do if he does?
As fate would have it, it's not a question that gets answered.
"Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice message system."
God...
What was he supposed to do now? What was he thinking? What would he have even said to Jeno if he would've answered? What's he going to think when he wakes up and sees the notification?
Donghyuck checked the time difference and Jeno should be sleeping, it was barely 5am in New York.
He goes to sleep, feeling guilty that he started the day with Mark, spent the whole day with Mark, but ended it with someone else's name on his mind. Mark, someone who deserved better. The only person that's managed to make him smile since he left.
Donghyuck hopes that whatever problem Mark had to go back to work for, he didn't want to pry, gets resolved quickly and peacefully.
Unbeknownst to him, Mark ends up being the last person who he thinks of that night.
☾
Donghyuck wakes up to a new notification, a message from Mark.
Michelangelo:
hope you slept well! sorry for leaving early yesterday, you know how work can get.
that's okay! I've been called back to the office once or twice before, so
I
completely understand where you're coming from lol, did everything get resolved?
Michelangelo:
mmm well... we're working on it. you know how tech people get haha
Donghyuck did not, in fact, know how tech people got since he wasn't friends with any technology majors at school, but he felt like he knew where Mark was coming from.
Michelangelo:
too bad it's sunday and we work tomorrow morning or else
I'd take you on that raincheck today tbh
The message makes Donghyuck smile, also wishing that Mark could take the raincheck today, but he's right, there'd be no point in him staying over if they both had to wake up early and go to their respective offices. Plus, Donghyuck knew what a drive Leesun Enterprises was from his loft and he didn't want Mark to go through all that just to spend the night together.
u're right :( maybe next weekend? lmk whenever u can ;*
After that he goes through his social media and realizes that Jeno never called him back or texted him. Before he even gets the chance to feel embarrassed and like a clown, he realizes a conversation he had with Jaemin earlier in the year.
"Oh hey! Before I forget, Jeno's new company pays for his phone bill now since they're in a connected system or something. Anyway, he got a new phone number! Want me to send it to you?"
Donghyuck at the time, having only freshly stepped in Canadian land, refused.
"Ah it's okay Nana, he still has my number after all! Not like he lost his phone, right?"
"That's true." Jaemin agreed.
THANK GOD!
He could not be more grateful for his dumb, stubborn ass. He couldn't even begin to imagine what would have happened if he was forced to actually talk to Jeno again. What would they even talk about?
Donghyuck refuses to spend more time on that subject and remembers something he promised to do today.
Still in bed, he opens up Instagram and chooses the best pictures from the night before; pictures of the art from the museum, the picture of him and Mark in front of the Greek sculpture, the picture of Mark taking a picture of a painting, and the picture of Mark's painting of Vancouver.
Before posting, he messages Mark
hey, what's your ig username?
I'm about to post some photos from
last night &
I want to tag you!
I'm @l_awfulhyuck lol
Michelangelo:
ah actually
I don't have one?
I'll make one rn brb!
and ㅋㅋ l_awfulhyuck? are you lawful or awful?
Donghyuck laughs, as he types a reply.
both! but it's an old username tbh
I might just change it rn
He remembers how he got that username his first year of law school, his friends kept calling him awful, but he would act like all he heard was lawful. Donghyuck saves the post as a draft and goes to his account settings, typing up a new username.
Username Saved!
In most cases, you'll be able to change your username back to l_awfulhyuck for another 8 days.
But he knew in his heart that he was never going back.
He goes back to his drafted post and types up a caption before posting it.
fullsunhaechan: vancouver's
gotten a little warmer since meeting you
Activity:
markelangelo started following you.markelangelo liked your post.markelangelo commented: all that art in the museum yet I got the luxury to take the best piece home
He clicks at Mark's brand new profile and notices he already has a post. It's a picture of Donghyuck, the morning after they first met. He's sleeping, smiling serenely and looking at peace.
Donghyuck is shocked at his expression since he was always told that he sleeps with a pout on his face.
markelangelo:
sleeping beauty, what are you dreaming about that's got you so happy?
Donghyuck thinks about it for a bit before he smiles, remembering what he dreamt of that night. He likes the picture and begins to type a reply in the comments.
fullsunhaechan commented: you
After he finishes, he checks on his new notifications.
nananamin liked your post.nananamin commented: so THIS is why you're not coming home for the holidays??
👀
g_sung
liked your post.g_sung commented: love the new username! rip l_awfulhyuck
chenle_lele liked your post.chenle_lele commented: oh. my. god.injunrenjun liked your post.injunrenjun commented: this boy's HOT, share his @ juseyo
🤲🏻jenojam liked your post.
He goes to the post settings and tags user markelangelo. A few seconds later, Mark tags him on his recent post too, most likely realizing that it was possible to do.
Nana:
OH MY GODDDDD
HYUCK I CLICKED HIS USERNAME AND HIS ONLY POST IS OF YOU IN
BED??!???
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN OH MYOGD BTW AREN'T THOSE YOUR CLOTHES HE'S WEARING???? WE ALL LITERALLY KNOW THAT OUTFIT
calm down nana you'll tear something ㅠㅠ it literally just happened this weekend, his name is mark and he's really so great.
and yes those are my clothes ㅋㅋㅋ
Nana:
god based on that pic u posted of him and his
pfp
I can TELL
Donghyuck smiled, exiting out of the conversation.
Michelangelo:
love the new username btw, wonder where you got that
cool ass name from
same
goes to you, markelangelo, wonder who gave you that nickname.
their galaxy brain knows no bounds
Michelangelo:
hahaha that's for sure
Getting up from bed, Donghyuck gets ready to start his day.
Five more days until Mark can stay over for the weekend.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Haechan:
same goes to you, markelangelo, wonder who gave you that nickname. their galaxy brain knows no bounds
hahaha that's for sure.
"You ready, Mark?" Jaehyun, his secretary, asked. They were outside of Vision Inc. and about to head inside to try to negotiate the NeoTech project and arrange for a resigning.
He had no idea why the original offer fell through; they had discussed all the terms and conditions back and forth through email.
Sighing, he nodded and stepped inside the lobby of the company. After checking in with the receptionist and given a guest pass, him and Jaehyun made their way up the elevator to the Marketing Director's office.
"Good evening, I'm Xiao Dejun, Wong Yukhei's receptionist. I'm going to take the liberty to assume you're Minhyung Lee and Jaehyun Jung from Leesun Enterprises?" The thick-eyebrowed man stated.
"Yes, we are. We're here to discuss the NeoTech Project, can we just go right in?" Jaehyun answered for him.
Xiao Dejun smiled, "Actually, I'm sorry for the late notice but your meeting with Mr. Wong has been rescheduled. Your meeting will still be taking place right now, but you will be discussing the project with Mr. Qian instead. I apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused, but if you follow me, I can take you to his office."
Jaehyun and Mark shared a look, Wong Yukhei had been the person that he had been exchanging emails with. If their meeting has been rescheduled with someone else, then things started to make more sense.
"Sure, that's fine, may I know why we're having our meeting with Mr. Qian instead of Mr. Wong, whom I had previously been scheduled to speak to?" Mark asked, knowing that he was most likely not going to get an answer but thought it was worth a try.
Companies like these don't usually like discussing internal hierarchy issues with other companies. Shit, his own company is a prime example. It took Mark years before his parents finally deemed him reliable enough to be the head of the company.
The secretary smiles, "Mr. Wong has many other projects on his hands right now and so Mr. Qian decided to help him out."
Mark returns the smile and follows the secretary.
They're so full of shit.
Once they reach Mr. Qian's office door, Mark notices that Mr. Qian is, in fact, Qian Kun; the CEO of Vision Inc. Mark didn't expect to find himself in a meeting with someone at a position higher than his own--sure he was slated to become CEO after his father retired but that wasn't until a couple more years. Plus, Mark was happily satisfied with his dual positions as COO and CMO.
Mark now understands why they wanted him to come instead of Johnny, the Marketing Director.
"Good morning Mr. Lee, Mr. Jung, I apologize for having to make you come all the way over here. Once taking over this project I realized that we would save more time if we just had this discussion in person instead of spending more time emailing each other, don't you agree?"
Mark nodded, "Of course, that sounds most practical. And don't worry about us, a little jet lag never killed anyone." He laughed.
By looking around at all the other files lying on his desk, Mark was able to gather that Qian Kun was an unbelievably busy man. The rescheduling and remanaging of the NeoTech Project must have been due to something else because, if the secretary was telling the truth, then Wong Yukhei's office should have looked worse than this. Which it didn't from the small amount that he was able to see.
"Mr. Jung, my secretary has files for you to look through if you don't mind." Jaehyun shook his head,
"Of course not, I'll go work on that right now. If you may excuse me, I'll be outside Ma--Minhyung." Mark smiled and nodded, ignoring the small slip up. He didn't mind, it wasn't a secret that he preferred being called Mark by his friends but in professional settings he continued to use his legal Korean name. His parents mentioned something about keeping the family line alive but that doesn't really make any sense to him because it's not like he was changing his last name or anything.
He sat across Kun and took out the files that were originally rejected by who Mark presumed to be him.
The two business men continued to talk about details of the project but it was obvious to Mark that this man was overworked. Kun was in no way lazy or a bad CEO, he just had too many other things to work on. Mark could tell that he only knew the basic overview of what the NeoTech Project was about and that was the reason the signing was postponed. No CEO in their right mind would sign off on a project that they haven't personally gone through every detail themselves. But that's the issue, the CEO wasn't supposed to sign off on this deal, the Marketing Director was.
After all that work, Mark found himself at the bar of his hotel having a few drinks to relax. Jaehyun had asked him if he wanted him to stay and drink with him but honestly? Jaehyun's a good secretary and all but seeing him in a suit outside of his office hours kind of sucks. It makes Mark feel like he's still on the clock. So he told him no, that he'll be fine on his own and to take the rest of the night off. They might just have to stay in Shanghai for the rest of the week if things continue to go the way they're going.
Another man joins him at the bar table, asking for what Mark vaguely understands is a strong drink. Chinese has never really been his thing, he's considered fluent, but he always stuck to just using Korean and English at home.
"Tough day?" Mark asks. He's always been the first one to start conversations. He never quite understood why but some people just gave him certain vibes that made him want to start a conversation with them. Haechan being a prime example.
Who would've thought that a starting a conversation with him would lead to something so beautiful? He never would have assumed that he was going to go home with him that night. Don't get him wrong, he enjoyed every second of it, but Mark had no intention of sleeping with Haechan when he first started a conversation with him. It just looked like he genuinely needed one—just like this man.
"Honestly? Yeah, tough as fuck and I've never felt this frustrated before." The man sighs, running his hands through his hair and loosening his tie.
"Work related? Love life related? Or family related?"
"Yes, no, and yes." He answered.
"Ah so it's work
and family related. That's gotta be, like, the top two stressors."
"Yeah they sure are, I'm Lucas by the way." The man said, offering his hand.
"Mark." He returned, shaking his hand.
"Is your issue work, love, or family related?"
"Work too, actually. Surprisingly my love life is in a very good place right now." Mark answered, unable to stop the smile from erupting on his face.
Truthfully, he would totally be on the phone with Haechan right now if it wasn't for the time zone difference. He should be sleeping right now, or at work? Mark wasn't too good at math. Regardless, it wasn't the proper time to call him.
Lucas laughed at him, "Yeah, judging by that smile, I can tell."
"I
wish my love life was my main problem. Not sure why I'm telling you this, but I wish my parents believed in me more. We own a small business and I've worked really hard to prove to them that I'm worthy of taking in more work. I even went back to school to get my Master's degree, thinking that what they wanted me to have was more certification, but no, they still didn't trust me enough and gave my older brother all the big pro- tasks."
Mark nodded, knowing all too well what it was like to have your family doubting your potential when it came to company affairs.
"Recently they let me handle a task bigger than what they used to; I was so excited that I had finally gotten the chance to show them how hard I could work. I spent days learning about it and weeks contacting people. Just when I finally thought they believed in me; I got the notice that they were giving my job to my brother. My brother, who already has many other things to worry about!"
"Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, I do. That's how I can see how tired he is. Not only that but he's unprepared, this was
my task and
I was the one that did all the research on it." He sighed, resigned.
Mark looked at Lucas and felt like he was looking at a past version of himself. It had taken him years to prove himself worthy to his parents. And even then, Mark felt like he had it easier since he didn't have an older brother for his parents to use against him.
"Honestly, dude, you should tell them straight up that you're very much capable of handling things on your own. I mean, you went back for your Master's, man, that should be more than enough for running a small business. Tell them you want to help take some of the load off your brother's back and that, as their son, they should believe in you enough to be able to do that.
Lucas smiled at him, a small smile.
"Thank you, Mark. I think I needed to hear that."
"It's no problem, I know how work can be."
"You said your problem was work related as well, right?" Lucas asked.
"Yeah well, it's just this thing I've been working on lately. Something fell through and that's why I'm here—in China—trying to fix things. Which is upsetting because I'd rather be back at home with my boyfriend."
Can Haechan be
considered my boyfriend? What stage are we even at? Does he see me as
anything more than a fuck buddy? Hmm maybe my issue
is love related too?
"Ah, yeah, I can see how that's an issue. Not sure I can give you any advice on that but, from what I can tell about you so far, I'm sure everything will go great."
Mark smiled, happy to know that a complete stranger found him to be competent enough to handle things.
"Thanks man," He replies, looking at his watch.
When did it get this late? "I think I'm going to head out, I have an important meeting tomorrow."
"No, yeah, of course!"
"Thanks for listening, Lucas, have a good night."
"Goodnight Mark."
The two parted ways, hearts feeling lighter than they did before they met. Mark considered walking back to get his contact information but decided that if their friendship was meant to be, he'd see him again. That, and, Mark was really fucking sleepy. And so, Mark went up to his room, knocking out as soon as his head reached the pillow.
☾
Mark would like to consider himself a well-collected person, he's never been one to shake during interviews or stutter during speeches. His voice didn't waver a bit when he gave his valedictorian speech in high school, or when he asked Haechan to spend the night with him. But right now, standing outside of Qian Kun's door; Mark was nervous. He had worked so hard on this project, what if Kun didn't agree to sign to the new terms? What if it still wasn't enough to satisfy him?
He took a deep breath and walked in the door.
It took Kun a moment to look up at him from his document-filled desk. Mark didn't even need to look at his dark circles to know that the man was exhausted. He took pity on him.
"Minhyung, hey, you're early." He noted.
"Yes, well, I thought that the earlier I got here the more time we would have to go over new details."
"I was actually about to email you right now and tell you that you can go back to discussing issues regarding the NeoTech Project with Yukhei again. I know he's more qualified on project than I am and felt it to be a disservice to you if I took it on instead." Kun offered him a smile.
Although Mark knew that he should probable be agitated, and maybe even a little mad, that his project was switched to someone else again, he too agreed that Yukhei would be a better person to talk to about the project.
With that in mind, Mark bid Kun goodbye and relocated to the outside of the office belonging to one Wong Yukhei. He felt less nervous now, oddly calm, and walked in the door.
Wong Yukhei had his back faced to Mark; he was using the window light to read some papers that Mark couldn't quite make out.
"Mr. Wong? It's Minhyung, I heard the proj—"
Yukhei had turned around during his sentence.
"Lucas???"
"MARK?!"
"So, this is the small business you were talking about?"
Yukhei—Lucas—laughed.
"I may have understated."
"Just a bit, yeah." Mark joined.
"Wait, so, is this the task that was given to your big brother that you wanted back? It was NeoTech?" He asked.
"Now I'm a bit embarrassed that you know how long and hard I worked on this project... but yeah, this is the one. And I was able to get it back, thanks to you. I spoke to my parents and told them what you said about me being capable. I was able to get the project back. Sorry you had to go back and forth with this, I know it can get annoying."
Mark smiled, no longer caring that he had to walk between offices.
"No, I'm glad! I'm happy you got the project back; I could tell you were good for it during our email exchanges. Want to start going over the new details?"
Lucas nodded and gestured for Mark to sit across him from his desk.
Later that night Mark returns to Vancouver, taking with him a signed deal and a new friendship.
one year ago
"You need to get out of bed dude, this isn't healthy."
"Please, just leave me alone. I need some more time." He begged.
It's been a month since he broke up with his girlfriend, and two months since Hyuck left. But Jeno still felt like he needed more time. He didn't want to see anyone or do anything. He just wanted time. He needed time.
one month later
Jeno was out clubbing, moving his body to the rhythm of a song that he didn't even know. He is sweating, shirt sticking to him more than it already was. Somehow, the guy dancing with him didn't seem to mind and only dances closer; body pressing against body.
Anyone might think that this was too soon, that it was too early to move on, but it wasn't Jieun that Jeno was trying to forget. And what can he say, he's always been a little self-destructive.
So that's how he finds himself in a hotel room, on top of a stranger, taking his clothes off. Things were different now. He had accepted who he was, with all his faults. He wasn't perfect. He wasn't even close.
The boy underneath him was a silky porcelain color, almost matching his own. Jeno kissed along his thighs, closing his eyes and imagining them to be a certain pair of tan ones he once knew so well. The thought itself makes him harder than what he already was.
The boy moans, arching his back, aching for more.
Jeno takes this as a sign to continue, spreading his legs and inserting one finger along the boy's hole. He feels him out and inserts another finger, earning a moan in response.
He adds a third finger, moving them around and looking for a specific part. Jeno knows he found it when he hears the moans get louder.
"Please... please..." The boy beneath him begs.
He doesn't need to be told twice.
After putting on protection, Jeno aligns himself along the boy's entrance. Taking a deep breath, he gently slides in. He goes in at a slow, agonizing, rate. The boy's legs wrap around Jeno's waist, trying to pull him down in an almost desperate manner.
Jeno fills him with his entire length, moaning at the tightness surrounding it. He can feel his heartbeat pulsating throughout his entire body. He moves in and out, in and out, matching its rhythm.
The boy seems to grow impatient and switches their positions without slipping out, riding Jeno.
Their moans fill the room, almost covering the sound of their bodies being slammed together.
Closing his eyes, Jeno visualizes Donghyuck; tan and sweaty, moving his body up and coming back down.
He sees Donghyuck take his entire length again and again, feeling his legs shake as he gets nearer to the edge.
Jeno holds his waist, making sure he doesn't slip out as he's gotten messier and less rhythmic with the more animalistic they get.
He feels Donghyuck slowing down as he gets closer, but he's not done yet. Still holding him from the waist, Jeno guides Donghyuck up and down at a faster pace, arching himself faster and fucking into Donghyuck harder. The squelching between them gets louder as with his breathing and Jeno feels a liquid spill on his stomach. He continues fucking into Donghyuck as he chases ecstasy, not bothering to pull out as he releases within him.
Jeno opens his eyes and watches as the boy on top of him gets off gently and lays down next to him.
The image is over and Jeno feels cold, remnants of bliss leaving his body.
He waits until the boy next to him is asleep in order to slip out, making his way back into his car.
Jeno cries in the parking lot, wishing he had spent his first time with the love of his life instead of some stranger he doesn't even remember the name of. This is the moment he realized he needed help.
It's not the reason he tells his therapist the first time he meets him, a day after.
He tells Dr. Kim about Donghyuck and about what happened between them.
“I feel like I knew I loved him before he even realized it himself. I knew from the beginning, maybe that’s why when my parents told me I shouldn’t be sticking too close to a boy, it hit me harder. I knew how I felt about him, and I knew how my parents would react if they found out. I couldn’t afford to lose either one of them.”
For five months, Jeno makes regular visits to his therapist. Never once spending the night with anyone else again.
present time
Jaemin isn't surprised when Jeno comes out to him, neither are Renjun and Jisung. But it was still a big step and they were all happy for him and that he was able to share that with them.
He tells Jaemin about what happened with Donghyuck. Once again, the news is received with little to no shock.
"Did you really think we didn't know?"
Jeno looks at him, confused.
“Jeno… we were Donghyuck’s best friends. Don’t you see it? You… you were always more than that. It was obvious and we all saw it. We just thought you guys would be able to sort it out on your own. We never thought… things would end up this way… you know, with Hyuck leaving.”
“Yeah, I didn’t either, but it’s all my fault. We kissed, you know, at your semester party. I had just gotten my test results back from class and Hyuck, he was right there. Like always. He was there for me and supporting me. Before I knew it, I started kissing him, it was everything I wanted and more, Nana. But once I realized what I was doing I felt so disgusted with myself. I can't believe I did that to him. I knew I wasn’t ready… you saw me. I would have never admitted I was gay back then.”
Jaemin nods, listening intently to his story.
“I was so stupid; I even got a girlfriend. I can’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for Hyuck to see me with Jieun after everything that had happened. Even now, I don't blame him for leaving, it’s what I deserved.”
“But you changed, Jeno. You got help. Why don’t you call him? Both of you have been in love with each other for a long time, I’m sure a year and some miles aren't enough to erase that? Both of you have history. You should call him, hell, go to Vancouver and get him back yourself!”
Jeno smiles, appreciating his friend's enthusiasm for his love life.
"I don’t want to do anything until I'm certain that I'm ready. I can’t imagine making him go through everything all over again just because I get scared. Hyuck deserves to be shown out to the world, and I won’t be the one to hide him. I'd rather wait until I'm fully ready.”
And so Jeno continues getting better, living his life miles from Donghyuck but always having him in his heart. He doesn't stop going to therapy and progresses more and more each day. He was finally able to talk to his parents. He told them about all the resentment he felt towards them but most importantly, he told them about all the resentment he felt towards himself. For allowing himself to be misguidedly their words and their fear of judgement.
It went better than he thought it would. Seems like they weren't too surprised with the information either.
"I'm not asking for your acceptance or blessing; I just want to let you know that this is who I am. This is who I have always been."
With that, Jeno finally found himself ready to see Donghyuck again and beg for another chance.
So, are you coming?” Jaemin asked, phone on loud speaker.
“Hyuck?”
“Hello?..." He looked at Jeno, confusion filling his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Jaemin, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it this thanksgiving… I’ve got a lot of work piled up, you know how law is…But I'll definitely try to make it for Christmas!" Jaemin and Jeno exchange equally disappointed looks.
“Yeah, I know… Didn’t know it was that bad up there. Also, isn't that what you said last year before you left? You were too busy for Christmas too... By the way, how are you Hyuck? Haven’t spoken to you in a couple of days.” Jaemin replied.
“Honestly? I love it here. I miss you guys like crazy, but I love everything about this place. How about you, how are you? How are the guys, Renjun, Jisung, Chenle, Jeno?”
"Remember if he asks about me, just ignore the question. I want
to be the one to tell him about my therapy and coming out."
Jeno had told Jaemin, before initiating the phone call.
“Well, you know, we all started working right after graduation. Nothing fun there. Oh wait! Jisung proposed to Chenle! I think they’re getting married summer next year, he said he would send us the invitations when they plan things out a little more. He’s the only one making me proud, Renjun is still trying to be a player, acting like he’s not about to be twenty-six.”
The two continued their conversation about Jisung and Chenle while Jeno started to zone out, thinking about what Donghyuck’s answer to Jaemin’s
previously planned question would be.
“What about you though, have you met anybody there? Any guys or girls caught your eye?” Jaemin wavered, looking at Jeno nervously.
“No, you know me, I’m basically single for life, Nana. I haven’t had the time to meet anyone new.” After hearing that, Jeno let go of breath of relief.
“Oh, true you always were.” Jaemin laughed awkwardly and Jeno glared at him, can you try to not be obvious please.
“I actually have to get going though! I’m glad we got to talk, hope you meet someone soo—ah!“ He shoved Jaemin.
"Okay, sorry!" He whispered to him, putting the phone aside.
“Bye Hyuck, it was nice catching up with you. Stay safe!” And with that, the phone call ends. Jeno smiles at Jaemin.
Well, that could've
gone worse.
“See! Told you! He hasn’t moved on either! And yeah, he won't be here for Thanksgiving, but you can always wait until Christmas? Or better yet—go to Canada yourself! That would be so romantic!” He swoons.
Jeno laughs, slightly agreeing and thinking about spending Thanksgiving in Canada with Donghyuck.
Never once did he expect Donghyuck to post what he did on Instagram. He swipes through the pictures and sees a picture of an unknown boy with black hair, they’re together. And another one of that same boy taking a picture of a painting while smiling. Jeno chooses to be naive and pretend that maybe they’re just really good friends.
Good friends that share clothes? But we used to do that all the time so it shouldn’t matter? Then again… We were never just friends…
He feels sick to his stomach when he reads the comment left by who he presumes is the unknown boy.
markelangelo:
all that art in the museum yet I got the luxury to take the best piece home
Curiosity gets the best of him and he clicks on his profile. Only following one person and only one follower. Did he make an account just to like Hyuck’s picture?
markelangelo
mark leepursuer of the finer things in life
After seeing Mark’s post, Jeno can’t continue pretending to be naive. It’s a picture of Hyuck, asleep in bed, obviously not wearing a shirt. It leaves little to guess of what had happened.
But it’s not that fact that Donghyuck slept with someone that hurts the most, albeit it did hurt plenty, it was the fact that Donghyuck was smiling in the picture.
Every time Jeno and Donghyuck would have a sleep over and sleep together, he never once saw him with a smile on his face. It was just another reminder that this wasn’t his Donghyuck anymore. He was wrong, Jaemin was wrong, many things can happen in a year.
Jeno likes Donghyuck’s post and exits out the app.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Donghyuck's excited. He and Mark had been exchanging texts throughout the week and agreed to meet up on Friday night, after Mark finished with work.
Although Donghyuck would have loved to meet up with Mark during the weekday, he understands that sometimes you're just too tired from work to do anything but get home and sleep. He still remembers his first days at the law firm when he would get home so tired, he'd go straight to sleep without eating or showering.
Work hasn't been that bad for him recently, but he knew that things might be different for Mark, considering he works for the biggest tech company in the city. That, and the fact that he left their last date early due to something that sounded too important to ignore.
Knowing that was what kept Donghyuck from asking Mark if he wanted to meet up on a weekday after work. He didn't want to look desperate or anything...
Or at least, that's what he told himself as he excitedly counted down the minutes to when it seemed acceptable enough to leave work. He had finished working on his last case file of the day about an hour ago, who knew he worked faster when he had something to look forward to at the end of the day?
"I feel like a teenager, what's wrong with me? Oh my God, I need to calm down before he starts thinking I'm desperate and ghosts me." He whispers to himself as he starts reorganizing the objects on his desk.
Truth be told, Donghyuck missed Mark. He missed the cute smile he would give Donghyuck after a dumb joke, he missed the way he'd laugh with his whole body, and he missed the way Mark made him feel. Like everything would be okay, like there wasn't a single problem in the world.
Michelangelo:
haechan!! i'm almost done with work, but i'm beat ㅠㅠ
He smiled as he received the text and read the nickname Mark gave him, but he couldn't help but feel disappointed at the end of the text. Was this his way of wanting to cancel without being upfront?
He sighed and typed a reply.
ah im glad ur almost done!! but :( if ur too tired to hang tonight id understand! we can see each other tmrw or raincheck if ur still tired?
Michelangelo:
no omg ㅠㅠ i didn't want to cancel i was just wondering if it was okay for us to just chill at your place?
swear this isn't just me trying to get into your pants!! haha
He read Mark's last message and laughed, it's not like he'd mind anyway.
sounds perfect! let me know when you're on ur way?
Michelangelo:
of course ;)
Donghyuck smiled and left his office, but not before having to return to grab his coat, briefcase, and keys. God he was very absent-minded lately.
His ride back to his loft was filled with nerves, he felt like he hadn't seen Mark in forever and was happy to finally be seeing him again.
Once he was inside, he double checked to make sure everything was in its rightful place and sighed when it was. Mark hadn't texted him yet so Donghyuck took the liberty to cook some spaghetti, in case Mark was hungry. A part of Donghyuck told him that he shouldn't be doing this and that he'd never cook for no man!! But then he thought about tired, post-work, Mark and wondered if he even had time to eat lunch. He told himself this was different, and that Mark would totally do the same for him if he was coming home from work tired.
While he was preparing the sauce, he heard his phone ding.
Michelangelo:
hey sunshine!
I just signed out,
i'll be on my way soon
sorry it took me so long :(
Donghyuck looked at the clock, 7:21p.m.Mark must be tired.
its okay cutie dw! just come right up once u get here
my code is 06061234 btw
Michelangelo:
06061234??? thats... such a hackable pin code haechan ㅠㅠ
well
I
couldn't think of anything other than my birthday and it
needed to be 8 #s long!!
Michelangelo:
pls promise me
you'll change it to something more complicated baby
okayokay i promise i will!
He replied, heart fluttering while reading Mark's pet name for him.
Haechan was draining the water from the spaghetti when he heard Mark come in. All the bones in his body were aching to go to him but he was pretty preoccupied with the spaghetti and had to stay put.
"Kitchen!" He yelled as soon as he heard the door close and lock.
He didn't hear Mark, but he felt his arms wrap around his waist.
"Honey, I'm home" He whispered into Donghyuck's neck and then proceeding to give him a kiss and another and another.
He laughed but let Mark continue.
Donghyuck, albeit distracted with Mark hanging onto him, was able to serve the now-ready spaghetti on two plates. After he was done, he turned himself around and enveloped Mark into a hug. He took a deep breath, breathing in Mark's natural relaxing scent, loving the warmth that radiated between them. He rubbed circles on Mark's back, knowing how tiring it got to be sitting down all day.
"I missed you." Mark confessed.
Donghyuck felt braver since he wasn't directly looking at Mark.
"I missed you too, so much."
Mark separated himself from Donghyuck and looked at him, he wished he could engrave the look in his eyes forever.
The two leaned in and kissed each other, using more than words to portray how much they had missed the other. Donghyuck pulled back but Mark followed, stealing one last sweet kiss before finally pulling away.
"We should eat." He said, smiling.
Mark nodded and helped Donghyuck move the food to the table.
"How was work?" Donghyuck asked, "I know you were pretty busy last time you were here."
"Ugh yeah, sorry about that! I really wanted to stay but something happened with the project I was working on and I got called in to see if I could fix it. But don't worry it all ended up working out in the end. This spaghetti is really good by the way."
"Oh, don't worry about that! You know I get you, work first for sure. But I'm glad everything worked out in the end, I knew you could do it. I know you're probably oversimplifying how bad it was and stressed out a lot over it. I hope you finally get to rest now." He commented, putting a hand on Mark's cheek and watching as he leaned in to his touch and closed his eyes.
"Thank you, Donghyuck, it means a lot." Mark replied.
They had finished eating and moved to the living room sofa, snuggling, with Mark being the big spoon.
"So a guy you met at a bar ended up being the same one from your meeting? And you became good friends after?" Donghyuck asked, surprised.
"Mhmm" Mark replied, voice sleepy.
"Wow, I guess you
do pick up a lot of guys at bars haha" He laughed, trying to cover up his insecurity.
"Not anymore, none of them matter if they're not you." Mark answered.
Donghyuck felt his heart beat faster at Mark's revelation, but he also knew the boy was tired beyond his mind.
"Mark, let's go to sleep now, yeah? C'mon my big sleepy baby." He said as he got up, facing Mark.
"Mmmm okay baby." He mumbled, following Donghyuck's lead towards the bedroom.
He handed Mark a pair of his pajamas that fit a bit too big and changed into his own pajama pants, eyes never leaving Mark. Mark's body was always a sight to see, milky white and sculpted to perfection. Smooth everywhere and soft where he needed to be. But at this point Donghyuck knew he was kind of whipped and realized that it was probable that only he thought that about Mark's body.
He joined Mark in bed and snuggled close, hugging him. Having Mark in his arms was what he considered to be the perfect way to end the week. It didn't take long for him to succumb to a sweet slumber.
☾
The morning came and Haechan hated his lawyer instincts for waking him up early, but he was thankful to have woken up to a peaceful-looking Mark. Haechan thought he looked so beautiful resting that he felt the need to take a picture. He swore no one looked as good sleeping like Mark did. But he also knew that it was ass o'clock in the morning and that Mark would look just as beautiful in a couple of hours after more sleep. So he decided to rejoin him in snoozeville, wrapping his arms around Mark again.
The next time he opens his eyes, Mark is already awake.
"G'morning" He tells him as he stretches his arms, yawning in the process.
"Morning sunshine." He replied, "That's the best sleep I've had in a long while. You're better than prescription medicine, Haechan-ah."
He laughed, "As long as you don't overdose!"
"Ah, I wouldn't mind overdosing on you." He said, right before kissing him. Kissing Mark was always so exhilarating, each time better than the last. He tried to show Mark just how much he missed him during the week through kiss. Donghyuck felt as if Mark received his message clearly because next thing he knew, Mark positioned himself over him, in between his thighs.
After a while of being kissed stupid, Mark pulled away and Donghyuck almost whined until he felt Mark's lips on his neck, leaving him sighing in contentment instead.
"I missed you." He told him again, making Mark look at him.
He smiled, a big dumb toothy smile.
"Oh believe me," Mark said as he kissed down his bare chest, "I missed you more."
Donghyuck bit back tears at how gentle Mark was being with him. He felt so... cared for... so.... wanted.
"Do you know how hard it was to resist you last night? I could feel you being shirtless under my arms and
God you don't know just how much I wanted you."
Donghyuck didn't say anything back, still breathless.
"You're so beautiful Donghyuck-ah."
He reached towards the ends of Mark's shirt, helping him take it off, "Not as beautiful as you." He replied,
running his hands down Mark's torso, feeling the way he shivered beneath his touch.
Mark reached down to kiss him but Donghyuck felt himself to be a bit impatient, raising his hips up to meet Mark’s and causing him to moan in the process.
He rolled his hips up again at a faster pace, trying to create friction.
Mark chuckled and proceeded to take off his pants, Donghyuck following suit.
Mark reached for Donghyuck’s length and moved his hand alongside it, making him moan in pleasure. What he thought was just Mark giving him a hand job was really him trying to lube up his fingers, preparing them to enter Haechan.
After gathering what he felt like was a generous amount of precum, Mark bent Donghyuck’s knees to his chest, making sure to kiss the inside of both of his thighs.
He inserted one finger into Donghyuck, then another one a second after. Mark moved his fingers back and forth within Donghyuck.
“More... Mark more...” The younger boy found himself asking, legs beginning to shake.
And Mark listened, adding a third finger, noticing the way Donghyuck’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. Mark moved his fingers at a slow, almost painful, pace. He knew what spot would make Donghyuck lose himself and teased him by only going near it. He didn’t expect Donghyuck to roll his hips up at a moment that Mark was moving his hand down, causing Mark to hit his sweet spot and leaving the boy breathless.
“Mark... Mark...” Donghyuck chanted, almost like a prayer, though this was anything but holy.
“Yes baby?” Mark replied, beyond turned on just by seeing the boy beneath him lose himself in passion.
“Please Mark... Please!” He begged, not too sure what he was asking for, but hoping Mark got the message.
After teasing him a bit more, Mark pulled his fingers out. Smiling at the cute whine he heard from Donghyuck.
He got his own length and stroked it back and forth, moaning by his hardness.
He didn’t want to leave Donghyuck hanging any longer and began to slowly enter the boy.
Donghyuck was having none of it though and wrapped his legs around Mark’s waist, pulling him all the way in. Both boys moaned at the process of being filled and filling up.
Donghyuck felt as Mark thrusted into him at a faster speed than before, having noticed his impatience or developed some of his own.
Donghyuck wanted to scream at how good he felt. He matched paces with Mark’s thrusting until he felt himself reach a certain point and just sloppily continued, allowing Mark to take him the rest of the way there.
Mark was fucking into him so beautifully that Donghyuck felt his soul was about to transcend. He was getting closer. He put a hand over Mark’s chest and was able to feel his beating heart.
I
think
I
love you
He squeezed his legs tighter around Mark and let him take over for a few more thrusts until he reached his euphoria. His legs began to shake but he knew Mark was getting closer because his own pace was getting sloppy and he could feel his muscles starting to contract.
“Donghyuck-ah I’m... ahh I’m about to...”
“Go ahead.” He allowed; legs still tight around Mark.
He fucked into him a couple more times until Donghyuck felt his warmth release inside him.
Donghyuck rolled his hips back and forth, letting himself be fucked through Mark’s orgasm.
Once it was over, Mark gently removed himself and laid next to Donghyuck, breathing heavily.
As much as Donghyuck wanted to curl in Mark's arms and sleep some more, he knew that they should probably clean up before things get
disgustingly sticky. He looked over at Mark who was so blissed out he fell back asleep. Donghyuck couldn't blame him, he must've been tired. He reached over and gave Mark a kiss on the cheek, before getting up and
rushing to the restroom.
He got some wet wipes and, after cleaning himself first, returned to help Mark. Once he deemed him properly clean, he went back to the restroom and showered, covering himself in hot water.
While applying his facial cleansing scrub,
Donghyuck thought about what he and Mark should do today, they never really made any plans to do anything considering Mark had said he was tired. Will they be staying inside again? He wondered. He wouldn't mind, as long as Mark didn't find it boring.
Donghyuck was brushing his teeth when he remembered that he had an extra toothbrush from a 2+1 deal, opening the rest room closet and taking it out of its packaging, putting it in the toothbrush holder next to his own. Just in case Mark didn't carry one with him.
He then thought about how this would be the second time Mark showered here. Consider him hygienic but he didn't really like the idea of sharing his loofa with Mark, once okay sure, but for a long period of time? He grimaced, wishing he had an extra.
I'll buy one next time
I go to the store.
And with that thought, Donghyuck left the restroom and proceeded to walk into his closet to change into new clothes. Still unsure of what they were going to do today, he settled for some black sweats and a black t-shirt. He then started questioning himself.
Do
I wear too much black?
Does it matter?
After a while he decided that it did not, in fact, matter and walked away only to see Mark getting up from bed.
"You're up" He spoke.
"Yes good morning for real this time, sorry I went back to sleep on you." He apologized, hand scratching his neck.
Donghyuck shook his head, "No, don't apologize I get you were tired."
Mark smiled back at him.
"Oh, let me bring you some towels so you can shower!" He remembered, walking towards the restroom. Mark followed him, still naked. Not that Donghyuck minded.
"I also have this extra toothbrush you can use; hope you don't mind the charcoal Crest toothpaste." He warned.
"You're the best." Mark laughed.
He shook his head, smiling and left Mark to shower. Back in his room, he gathered the clothes from the night before, ready to put them in the laundry basket. That's when he noticed how full it was, realizing he didn't wash throughout the week. He then looked back at his sheets.
Should
I wash those too?
He asked himself.
Aren't they just going to get dirty
again tonight?
His brain supplied, making a blush creep up his ears in the process.
"Why breathe if you know you're going to die." Is what his dad told him when he was younger, as a response to his complaining about having to make his bed everyday knowing it was going to get messy that same night.
With that thought, he changed the sheets and got ready to put his load of clothes to wash. That's when he realized he didn't have any detergent left.
Fuck. Okay cool, I can just go buy some more later.
He heard the water stop from the restroom and assumed that Mark was done showering. He went to his closet and picked out some clothes for Mark, literally the same outfit he was wearing; sweats and a t-shirt, but his was white. Can't have
two
emos under the same roof.
Mark came out of the restroom, towel wrapped around his waist and body glistening with water droplets falling from his hair. Donghyuck felt chills from his head down to his toes. He handed Mark his clothes and looked away. Mark had called Donghyuck better than prescription medicine but failed to mention that he himself was a drug, addicting and always leaving you wanting more.
"Do you have anything you want to do today?" Mark asked, fully changed and safe to look at.
"Well... I was wondering if it'd be cool with you if we went to the store? I need to buy a couple of things, if you don't mind." He asked, nervous to think that Mark wouldn't want to do something so mundane with him.
"Sure! I didn't have any plans this weekend other than looking forward to being with you, store runs included."
Haechan relaxed and smiled, reaching down to put his shoes on.
"Oh wait... You can borrow my shoes; I doubt your business professional shoes look good with sweats." He laughed.
"No, I suppose you're right." Mark joined him, kneeling to put Donghyuck's shoes on. When he got back up Donghyuck realized that every article of clothing that Mark had on him was his, leaving a warm feeling in his stomach.
〰️
"Okay so what do we need?" Mark asked, manning the cart while Donghyuck looked at the notes app on his phone.
"First thing: Detergent! Maybe softener too? I didn't check how much I had left but if I ran out of detergent I'm sure the softener's next." He explained.
And so, they found themselves in the laundry isle, with Donghyuck having already put the Tide in the cart and looking for his favorite particular Downy scent.
"That makes so much sense." Mark spoke, watching as Donghyuck put his chosen Downy Lavender and Vanilla Bean scented softener in the cart.
"What does?"
"I always thought your clothes smelled so much nicer than mine and looking at how you take your time to find the right softener proves why haha I usually just pick whichever one I see first." He confessed.
"What are you talking about Mark? That's just my natural, irresistible, scent!"
Mark laughed, "My bad, yeah, that too."
The two walked around the store, getting everything they needed: from the extra set of loofas and razors (Mark said he could feel his facial hair growing already) to a cookie mix Mark thought would be fun to try and make. After Donghyuck felt safe to say that he had everything he needed, Mark paused.
"Wait! Let me get something, I'll be back. Meet me at self-checkout?" Donghyuck nodded, taking the cart and rolling it to the checkout area.
He was halfway done scanning his items when Mark came back, a box of condoms in hand.
Donghyuck felt a blush creep up his neck.
"So you won't have to change and wash the sheets three nights in a row." Mark explained with a bashful smile.
Donghyuck smiled back.
Ugh
I love a thoughtful man. Wait—
"Oh man! Haechan do you think they sell screen protectors here? I've never put one on my phone before but thought about giving it a chance recently." Mark said, scanning the rest of the items and interrupting his thoughts.
"What??? You don't use a screen protector??" He exclaimed. Mark shook his head, smiling.
"What type of monster are you! Oh my god! You're one of
those.
You're the person in the friend group with the cracked screen, aren't you?? I didn't get that type of vibe from you but, y'know what? I see it now."
Donghyuck failed to notice Mark paying for everything with his Signature Black Visa card, smiling at his success of distracting the younger.
"Sorry," He shrugged "I just never saw the importance of them." He thought about saying 'You can just replace the phone' but decided to keep the comment to himself.
"Hey I was gonna pay!" Donghyuck noticed.
"You're letting me borrow your clothes, just think of this as me paying you back." Mark suggested.
Donghyuck didn't really see how that made sense but let it go because it's not like he could return everything, rescan, and pay for it himself.
I mean, technically
I could but... seems a bit extra.
The two walk out of the store, grocery bags in hand and small smiles on their faces.
〰️
"I'm going to load the laundry, want to go ahead and start working on the cookie mix?" He asked Mark, putting the bags down on the counter.
"Go ahead." Mark, nodded.
With that, Donghyuck went to the laundry room, continuing where he left off in the morning. He decided to wash his clothes first so he could have time to prepare the cookies with Mark and then put his clothes up while they baked. He thought about washing Mark's suit but then wondered if Mark was picky and only ever got his clothes dry-cleaned. He got up and made his way to the kitchen to ask.
"Hey Mark, does it matter if—Oh my god!" He gasped at the sight in front of him. Mark's shirt (Donghyuck's, really) was covered in egg and water. Or was that oil?
"What happened?" Donghyuck asked, trying to contain a laugh.
Mark pouted, "I tried to use the electric mixer..." He confessed.
Donghyuck couldn't hold his laugh in any longer, Mark's frown got deeper. The sight pulled on Donghyuck's heartstrings, so he put his hands on Mark's cheeks and gave him a deep kiss.
"Oh baby... you're supposed to turn it on after it's in the mix, not before." He explained.
The kiss had wiped the pout off Mark's face and replaced it with a smile, "Sorry! I... don't really cook, I never usually have the time."
Donghyuck wants to say that he's a lawyer and before then a law student,
he never had the time either. But he doesn't want to make Mark feel worse and reasons that Donghyuck was the oldest out of his siblings, having cooked for them a lot when they were younger and their mom was at work.
"It's okay, here... let me take that. I'll add it to the load. By the way, do you only get your suits dry cleaned or is it okay if I wash it here?" Donghyuck asked as he took Mark's shirt off.
"You can wash them; they'll be my favorite if they end up smelling like you." He laughs.
Mark lifted his arms up and complied, left shirtless in the kitchen.
Donghyuck adds the shirt and suit to the wash and goes to his closet to get Mark another t-shirt. He returns to the kitchen to see a shirtless Mark cleaning up the spilled mix.
The sight made him feel affectionate and he chose to blame it for his actions. He approached Mark and stood on his toes, putting his arms around the older's neck. Mark met him the rest of the way and their lips touched. Donghyuck felt goosebumps as their lips slotted against each other.
Donghyuck was the first to pull back, his toes were starting to hurt.
"Let's make those cookies." He said, as he passed Mark his new shirt.
They follow the directions and manage to put the cookies in the oven without any major catastrophes occurring.
Donghyuck makes his way back to the laundry room and takes the clothes out from the dryer, checking on his sheets before going to his closet.
"Need some help?" Mark asks, coming in behind him, watching as he folds some sweats and puts them in a drawer.
"You want to help me fold clothes?" Donghyuck asks.
"Sure." Mark answers, kneeling down next to him.
Donghyuck laughs, not being able to understand why Mark would bother to ask. "Okay, well can you please hang all the shirts on that side please? I'll fold all the pants, only my work pants need to be hung. Try to keep the pairs together please."
Mark nods, getting started right away. He even hangs his own suit, next to Haechan's, already having thought about leaving it there in case a work-related problem comes up in the future.
With the two of them putting the clothes back, Donghyuck finishes in record speed, thankful for the help. He is able to move the sheets from the washer to the dryer before their alarm sounds, letting them know that the cookies were ready to be taken out of the oven.
The cookies turned out to taste pretty good regardless of his initial doubts. The two spend the rest of the Saturday night lounging around in Donghyuck's loft, watching a Korean drama that he had been waiting to end in order to start binge watching.
"Ugh! Sooah gets on my damn nerves!" He complained, "How are you gonna keep asking the guy that had a 'crush' on you for ten years whether or not he still likes you?? The audacity."
Mark laughed, "I think she just wants the reassurance, like, I think part of her knows that Saeroyi likes Yiseo now but she still wants to hear him tell her he likes her. I think she wants to know whether or not he's figured out his own feelings for Yiseo yet."
Donghyuck understood where Mark was coming from but he still didn't like that bitch. He knew she was shady from the moment she accepted the scholarship from the company that killed Saeroyi's dad.
"Saeroyi is dumb as hell too, how has he still not realized that he's in love with Yiseo?? Like, c'mon bro look at your own actions and tell me whether those are reasonable things to do for someone who's just a friend."
Mark laughs, unable to believe that Donghyuck didn't see the irony in what he said.
They spend the rest of the night watching Itaewon Class
and end up ordering take-out, with Donghyuck being too enthralled by the show to feel bothered enough to cook.
After deeming themselves tired enough, they retreat back to Donghyuck's room. He doesn't even bother to ask Mark to stay, pulling him by the hand to his bedroom.
Donghyuck was thankful for the condoms they bought, he thought in bliss as Mark slipped out of him, they definitely made things less messy. They also allowed for the two to be able to cuddle afterward without feeling sticky, he thought, right before he shut his eyes and went to sleep.
〰️☾〰️
It was Sunday night, the two had just finished eating dinner (pizza and chicken, neither Donghyuck nor Mark felt like cooking) when Donghyuck got an email from his boss.
He sighed.
"What's wrong?" Mark asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Got an email from work, they need me to rewrite something because an intern made a mistake and deleted the wrong file." He answered as he got his laptop out of his briefcase, turning it on with mild disgust.
"Do you need me to leave? I can leave you to it if you'd like? I wouldn't want to distract you." Mark offered.
Donghyuck looked at him, he really didn't want Mark to leave.
"No, it's okay! Please stay. Well, only if you don't think you'll be bored? With me working and not talking to you?" He asked, eyes hopeful.
Mark laughed, "Oh my how will I
ever survive without Haechan talking to me for a few hours?"
Donghyuck rolled his eyes.
"Really, don't worry. I'll work on a few things as well, we can both get work done."
Donghyuck nodded, smiling and happy that Mark was staying.
They hadn't really done much throughout the day other than finishing
Itaewon Class, watching movies, and making a second batch of cookies.
At one point Donghyuck had wondered whether Mark felt bored at their lackluster weekend, but Mark assured him that this was better than any other weekend he could've had alone.
"At the end of the day I'd be happy so long as I spent it with you." He had said.
Donghyuck had just about finished rewriting his case file summary when he heard Mark's stomach growl, it seemed as if the older boy was so focused on his work that he didn't hear it himself.
He got up from his seat on the dining table and went to the kitchen. It was too late to order or make some real food so he decided ramen would have to do. He added eggs in case Mark didn't think it was fancy enough.
Once he was done, he took the plates to the table and set one next to Mark. That's when he realized that Mark didn't even notice that Donghyuck had stopped working. Is this how he always is at work? No wonder they didn't see each other, Mark's an all-or-nothing type of guy.
"Oh, wow, thanks Haechan-ah! I was feeling a little hungry." Mark admitted. "I had always wanted a cute boy to bring me food at work, how'd you know?"
Haechan laughed as he sat back down to enjoy his ramen, "Oh really? Say less."
And that's how the weekend ends, the two joking and just enjoying each other's presence.
It's starting to get late and Donghyuck wonders whether Mark will spend the night again, they both have to work tomorrow and haven't discussed what would happen. Donghyuck wouldn't mind Mark staying again, he just wonders whether he'd be prepared for tomorrow without going home.
Mark yawns, stretching his arms and deciding to stop procrastinating the inevitable, "I guess I'll head out now, don't want you staying up too late." He said, reaching to give Haechan a kiss on the lips.
Haechan parts his lips and makes what was originally supposed to be a brief kiss, a deeper one.
"Do you think you can stay again? Your suit's clean, or do you need to go back home?" He asked him.
Mark was surprised, he had not expected Haechan to offer him another night.
"No uh, I don't need to get anything from my place. It's okay with you if I stay another night? Tomorrow's Monday." He reminded him, just in case.
Haechan laughed, "Yeah I know it's Monday, you staying wouldn't bother me at all. You're more to me than just weekends, dummy." Haechan said, matter-of-factly.
"Oh but if you get up before me and you try to wake me up I'll kill you myself." He warned, getting up and placing his laptop back in his briefcase.
Haechan's words left him stupefied, not prepared to hear something so intimate.
"I'll keep that in mind." He replied, instead, following Donghyuck to his room.
They find comfort in each other's arms and sleep the night away.
☾
Mark's alarm rings first. If it were a regular day, he'd stay asleep until the fifth one but he remembered Haechan's warning from last night about waking him up and gets up immediately, but not before taking one last long glance at the beautiful boy beside him.
He walks towards Haechan's closet without a noise and changes into the clean suit, feeling bittersweet that his plan of leaving it here among Haechan's clothes failed but happy he got to spend another night.
He finished getting ready and walked back to Haechan's sleeping figure, leaning down and pressing a kiss on the boy's forehead, using actions instead of words to tell him goodbye. Mark was already standing back up when he saw Haechan wake up and pull him back down using his tie, connecting their lips in a slow sleepy way.
"Good morning" He said, smiling.
"I'm going to kill you for this later." Donghyuck replied, closing his eyes again.
"A promise of later? I'm excited."
Donghyuck chose to ignore him and go back to sleep, he didn't have to be at work until 8 compared to Mark's 7
and wanted to take advantage of the little time he had left.
He had fallen back to sleep by the time Mark closed the door and left.
When Donghyuck woke up and got ready, he had a realization, “Fuck, I forgot to wrap him up some of the cookies from yesterday!”
He packed up the cookies and thought about Mark’s words, "I had always wanted a cute boy to bring me food at work, how'd you know?"
And an idea popped into his head.
What if he surprised Mark with lunch at work? He did mention it was something he had always wanted.
Donghyuck smiled as he left his loft, thinking about what food he’d bring Mark.
〰️
Time passes by fast at work, he’s so busy he almost forgets about his lunch idea. He decides to text Mark first to check whether or not he had eaten yet, although he was pretty sure the boy hadn’t, judging by the way he didn’t even realize he was hungry last night.
hey pretty boy, have you eaten lunch yet?
The reply wasn’t immediate but Donghyuck couldn’t tell, overloaded with case files.
Michelangelo <3
no i haven’t ㅠㅠ i’ll get smth to eat after i finish up what i’m working on
He smiled at the reply and decided his plan was a go. It was about lunch time for him so he grabbed his cookies, wallet, and keys, ready to give Mark his surprise.
Donghyuck is entering the Leesun Enterprises building, walking towards the secretary's counter when he remembers that he has no idea what floor Mark even works at.
"Welcome to Leesun Enterpriseswqw! How may we help you today?" The woman asks, a smile plastered on her face.
Beside him, the male secretary welcomes an employee, "Good afternoon Johnny, back from lunch?"
"Yes, I'd like to know what department Mark Lee is in? I'm his friend Donghyuck Lee?"
The woman looked back at him confused, "Mr. Lee doesn't accept walk-"
"Donghyuck, you said?" The employee next to him asks. "Your name is Donghyuck?"
He turns to face him, looking up, "Yes, I'm sorry do we know each other?"
The man smiles, extending his arm "I'm Johnny Suh, I work with Mark, he's told me about you. You're Haechan right?"
Donghyuck shakes his hand and looks at the man. He was tall and good looking, his swept back hair making him look elegant.
"Yes, Mark calls me that." He laughed. "Do you happen to know what floor he's in? I wanted to surprise him with lunch but then I remembered he never told me what department he worked in."
"I'll take it from here Sooyoung, thank you." He told the secretary. "Oh it'll be a surprise alright, just not sure for who." He smirked, "Follow me, I'll take you to his office."
Johnny left Donghyuck confused but he followed him anyway, walking into the elevator with him. He watches as Johnny presses the button for one of the top floors in the building, making sure to memorize which one it was for next time.
He follows Johnny out of the elevator and watches as he introduces him to who he presumes is Mark's secretary. Donghyuck feels a bit... lost. How important is Mark that he needs his own secretary? Where is everyone else in this floor? Is this all Mark's?
"He's right behind that door, you can just knock and go in." Johnny tells him, biting back a smile.
Donghyuck turns to look at the door, reading the engraving.
Mark Lee
Chief Operating Officer
Chief Marketing Officer
No way.
He thinks, as he walks towards the door. "Uhh... Thanks Johnny... It was nice meeting you."
He knocks three times on the door and waits until he hears Mark say,
"Come in."
Donghyuck opens the door, food in hand, and sees Mark face deep in documents. He doesn't look up immediately, not until he hears his voice.
"Mark... Hey."
"Haechan??" Mark exclaims, in lieu of a greeting, getting up from his desk.
"I-I didn't know you were coming? How'd you know this was my floor?" He asked, panicked.
"I saw Johnny on the way in and he brought me here, I brought lunch! You still haven't eaten right?" Donghyuck asks, acting like he didn't just find out Mark is the
fucking COO of one of the biggest corporations in Vancouver. He takes a seat in the meeting table across from mark's desk, setting the food down.
"Y-yeah I haven't eaten yet. You brought me lunch?" Mark answers as he walks towards where Donghyuck is seated. Donghyuck hums for an answer and passes Mark his chopsticks, he had brought him Chinese food.
He can feel Mark's eyes on him and looks up in silence, tilting his head in question.
"Donghyuck-ah I can explain. Don't be mad, I know I should've told you that my parents are the owners of LeeSun but I really didn't want you to see me as a chaebol. I wanted you to see me for who I am, just another regular business dude. People tend to treat me differently because they know my family has money and I really didn't want you to- Not that I thought you would! So, I'm sorry I hope I didn't ruin things." He finishes and puts his head down.
"What is this?" Donghyuck asks, "A Korean drama? Am I supposed to be mad that you're
loaded?
No thanks, I'm riding this train to the end." He jokes. Mark looks up at him, surprise in his eyes.
"Wait. I didn't mean to make it sound dirty. Does this mean your mom is going to come visit me at work and throw cash at me so I can leave you alone? Oh my God is your dad going to blackmail me with a dark secret from my past?
Mark laughs, "Umm no? Do you have a dark secret you're hiding? My parents are actually pretty cool, believe it or not, they're just careful with me since I'm an only child. Typical things."
"I don't think so? I mean my yearbook pictures are ugly and they voted me Most Likely To Go To Jail but... Wait... So I'm sleeping with the
sole heir of LeeSun Enterprises??? Oh my God it keeps getting better." He jokes.
"Are you really not mad, Haechan-ah? I didn't mean to keep it from you I just didn't know a plausible time to say 'Hey yeah you know how I said I work for the biggest tech company in Vancouver? Yeah well actually, my parents own it and it'll be mine one day!'" He shook his head.
"Mark why would I be mad? When we first met, I thought you were a bartender remember? I don't care about your occupation, just you." Mark looks at him in silence.
"I
am surprised that you're making bigger bank than me though. Here I was, feeling bad that you paid for my groceries. Y'know what? Dinner's on you next time."
Mark bursts out laughing, nodding his head, "Okay okay, I'll pay for dinner." He replied as he started eating.
They finish eating lunch with the cookies from yesterday, Mark having spent the time telling him more about his job and how when he was actually in China last week for a project. That having been the reason he couldn't meet up after work, as much as he wanted to.
Donghyuck is about to leave when he kisses Mark goodbye, slowly and appreciatively. Mark deepens the kiss and backs Donghyuck up against his desk. He pulls back and begins kissing down his neck,
"You know, I've never done it at work before." He confesses.
Donghyuck laughs, turned on by the idea, "Well, there's a first time for everything, right?"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
nana:
donghyuck~ are you going to be able to make it back home for xmas? you promised :(
Haechan stares hard at the text. Had he actually promised he would go, or did he just mention that he'd try? He can't remember. Regardless, he knew there was absolutely no way to get out of this one. He had avoided New York for long enough, it was time to face his past.
Or... at least it's easier said than done.
"First things first, I should probably tell Mark"
About going back to New York or about Jeno being there?
His inner monologue asked. He was not yet sure of the answer.
He paced around his apartment, having different versions of the conversation with himself and trying to decide which one would be the best one. Mark had texted him saying he was out of work about thirty minutes ago, meaning that he should be arriving any moment now.
This was a schedule that Donghyuck had started to get used to over the past few weeks, with Mark coming over after work. He usually always got out of work before Mark unless he had a difficult case that ran longer than he expected. On those days, Mark got to the apartment before he did and would greet him to a delicious dinner that he definitely, and thankfully, did not cook himself. He has since changed is apartment pin code to 06060802, choosing to take Mark's advice and make it something harder to guess.
Just as he's finishing up a scenario in which Mark storms out of the apartment after learning about Jeno, he hears the telltale sign of Mark opening the door.
"Hey sunshine," Mark smiles, before kissing him right on the lips. "how was work?"
Donghyuck watches as he hangs his coat next to his own.
"Oh, same old..." He drags. "And you? Does your back hurt from carrying the company?"
Mark laughed, "Uhh that's not exactly what I do but thank you for the confidence. It was tiring like usual, and I missed you, like always."
Donghyuck smiled. God. Life felt so easy when he was with Mark.
Okay... here goes nothing.
He sat down on the couch and motioned for Mark to do the same.
"Mark, remember my friend Jaemin?" He started.
"The one that thinks I'm hot?"
Donghyuck laughed and covered his face, "No... that's Renjun... But I guess to be fair, Jaemin agrees."
"But anyway, enough about your obvious good looks, Jaemin texted me earlier."
Mark nodded at him, asking him to go on.
"He asked if I was going back to New York for Christmas..."
"Oh, are you? I know it's been a while since you went." He asked, understanding.
"Uhh, well, here's the thing. I've actually been avoiding going back. Nana had asked me to spend Thanksgiving there too, but I told him I was too busy."
Mark furrowed his eyebrows. "But we spent Thanksgiving in bed? We didn't do anything because you don't consider it a real holiday."
"And it's not! Christopher Columbus was a murderer tyrant that committed genocide!"
"You're completely right baby, reparations should be made." He nodded, then paused, remembering. "But then why did you tell Jaemin you were too busy to go back? As much as I'd like to think it was to spend time with me, I feel like there's something else."
"Ugh, why do you have to be hot
and
smart." He complained, earning a laugh from Mark.
He took a deep breath. Mark had told him about his family, he should be honest with him too.
"So... I have a best friend back in New York. Had? I don't know anymore." He looked at Mark, "We've known each other since we were kids, grew up together basically. He was the first person I came out to and the first person to accept me. His name is Jeno."
"Jeno?" Mark repeated.
Donghyuck nodded, "I don't know if it's obvious but, we were more than best friends. I was in love with him. I had been, for years. I never dared to do anything about it though because I was scared that I would ruin what we had. Back then... our friendship was the most important thing to me."
"So I carried on like that, pining for my straight best friend and watching him date girls. I got used to it after a while." He dry laughed, watching Mark grimace.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Haechan-ah."
"That, actually isn't why I'm avoiding going back though." He continued, noticing the question in Mark's eyes.
"I was pining for my best friend, yes, but he wasn't as straight as I thought. We uh kissed? At a party. And, well, I had my suspicions but that's when they were confirmed. I knew he had feelings for me, I knew he liked me. But, Jeno, he comes from a very conservative family. They would have never approved, I get that. I wouldn't have wanted him to have to hide himself from them. I didn't want to make him choose."
Mark nodded in agreement.
"But the worst part, really, was that he got a girlfriend the next day."
"No... please tell me he didn't... Donghyuck, I—"
"It's okay, Mark, I'm over it. Even at the time, I knew I deserved more than that. You know I was originally supposed to share a loft with him? I had a job offer that would line up close to where he wanted to work at." He laughed, thinking back to all the things he was willing to do in order to stay by Jeno's side.
"But, instead..."
"You came here." Mark added.
He nodded, "I came here. I knew things would never have worked out and call me selfish, but I didn't want to have to hide myself anymore. Suppressing my feelings... I hated it. I had done enough hiding by then that I knew I never wanted to do it anymore. Even if he had been honest with me about his feelings, he would have never been able to love me out loud. I didn't want to live a life whispering what I wanted to shout. So I left, even though I loved him."
"Loved? As in past-tense and not anymore right?" Mark asked, nervous laughter filling the room but still looking vulnerable.
"Yes, not anymore! Not anymore. It's just you in here now." He cleared up, hand over the heart, worried that Mark may have somehow gotten the wrong message or had started to believe that he had feelings for someone else.
"It's just me now?" He repeated, dumbfounded.
Donghyuck nodded.
"So you love me?"
Donghyuck paused. If he could scream, he'd be doing it. Did he just confess to Mark that he loved him?? You know what—
"God, I know you might think this is too soon. And we never talked about labels so technically we're not even dating or anything, but to be honest it's not like I've been seeing anyone else or that I even want to. When I met you, I felt like I was half broken and too busy wallowing in my own misery to move on but you helped me realize I was whole, just hurting. Helped me realize that things get better and then they get great, so... yes. I'm pretty sure I love you, Mark Lee. " He cringed inwardly at his lame ass confession, unwilling to look at Mark.
Because of this, Mark put his hand to Donghyuck's chin and gently made him look at him. He was smiling, a full blown out smile.
"I actually already beat you there, sunshine. Because I'm absolutely sure I love you."
Donghyuck was about to break out in a smile but was stopped by Mark's lips pressing on his own. Donghyuck positioned himself on top of Mark, straddling him, and Mark used the opportunity to stand up, grabbing him from his thighs and guiding them to their room, not once breaking from the kiss.
Mark put him down gently and was about to continue when, "Wait... I hope you know that I'm your boyfriend now. You can't just confess to me to try to get in my pants, Haechan-ah. You're going to have to take responsibility."
Haechan laughed, and if it was possible to smile wider, he would've. He pushed Mark back, switching their positions so he was on top once again.
"I'll take my position seriously! No slacking off from me, sir." He replied, unbuttoning Mark's shirt and pressing kisses on the exposed skin of his stomach.
This is the part where I'd say something corny like "And that was the first time we made love" but if we're being honest, we started doing that a long time ago.
After they were finished and, in each other’s arms, Donghyuck spoke up.
"Come with me to New York." He suggested, in a pleading voice.
For a moment he thought that Mark had fallen asleep, having not heard a reply.
"Are you sure?" Voice small.
"Of course. I want you to meet my friends, just as I'm sure they want to meet you. Plus, I think I'll miss you too much." He answered, lightheartedly.
"Unless you already have plans, which I completely understand if you do."
"Sunshine, I told you, I'd clear up my schedule for you anytime. Let's go to New York."
☾
That’s how they find themselves flying first class to New York for Christmas. First class only because Mark insisted that the tickets wouldn’t even put a dent in his bank account. Show off. He’s been like this ever since Donghyuck found out about his heir status, with Mark never bothering to let him pay for things. He’s starting to vaguely feel like a sugar baby but then realizes that it doesn’t bother him that much.
“We’ve got everything right?” Mark asks for maybe the third time.
“Yes we do my sweet worrisome baby, we checked twice before leaving the apartment.” Donghyuck understands that Mark is probably more worried about meeting his friends than having left something behind. Especially knowing Mark could easily just buy whatever he forgot in New York.
“You know, my friends will love you. You don’t have to be worried.” He adds, trying to ease some of the anxiety.
“I hope so… These people are important to you and I don’t want you to feel like you’d have to choose between who to accompany.”
Donghyuck smiled, he was absolutely sure that his friends would like Mark, but he was glad that it mattered this much to him.
“Just sleep for a bit, I’ll let you know when we’re getting close to landing”
Mark nodded and proceeded to lean on Donghyuck’s shoulder, falling asleep sometime after.
It wasn’t mentioned, but Donghyuck wondered if some of Mark’s anxiety stemmed from the fact that he would be meeting Jeno too. Putting himself in his shoes, he thinks he would be incredibly terrified to meet Mark’s first love alongside his friends that were more inclined to take the other’s side.
He decides to not fret and joins Mark in a short nap, leaving the worrying for later.
After landing, the pair wait for Renjun to pull up, as the only one of all the New Yorkers to own a car.
“Thanks for coming to pick us up Injun!” He exclaims as he hugs the older boy, it really had been too long since the last time they saw each other.
“Of course, no problem, wouldn’t miss the opportunity to be the first to meet the esteemed boyfriend.” Renjun laughs, patting his back.
“I’m Renjun Huang, but you can call me Injun if you’d prefer.” He says, shaking Mark’s hand.
“I'm Mark Lee, thanks for picking us up.”
“Don’t mention it, everything ready?”
They nod and head in towards the car, “So we’re meeting at the restaurant for dinner right? Not too jetlagged, are you?”
Mark and Donghyuck exchange looks, “Nope we’re fine! Steer right ahead chauffer.”
Renjun laughs and shakes his head, “Does he often make you feel like his slave too?” He asks Mark, looking to his right.
Donghyuck had decided to let Mark take the passenger seat and take the backseat himself in order to let conversation between the two flow easier.
He scoffed but let Mark answer, “Can’t say he does since I enjoy doing it anyway.”
He can see Renjun’s approving smile from the backseat. See, you had nothing to worry about you big dummy.
“You know, we were all surprised to see our little hyuckie dating someone. Especially since he told us he hadn’t met anyone not too long ago. How did you two meet?”
“Don’t you want to wait until we get to the restaurant to ask that? I’m sure everyone else is gonna ask anyway.” Donghyuck cuts in.
“Nope! I want to feel superior by being able to say I knew first.”
Mark laughs, “We met at a bar actually.”
“Oh, you go to bars frequently?”
“Not really, I don’t usually have the time, but that night I was covering for a close friend of mine at the bar since he had gotten sick.”
“Oh my God Donghyuck you took home the bartender?? I am so proud of you! I haven’t been able to do that yet. Good for you.”
“Technically he’s not a bartender! Plus, it wasn’t even that busy.” He defends himself, offended for some reason. Having the playboy Renjun be proud of him for something like this felt perverted.
“So you met at a bar and what, Donghyuck swept you off your feet?” He picks.
“I guess you could say that. I saw him there and I just felt like I had to talk to him, I don’t know, I felt like I was waiting for him. Of course, his face definitely made things easier.” He chuckled.
They had never really discussed the first night they met. In a way, Donghyuck was scared to bring it up because then they’d have to talk about how they were supposed to be a one-night stand and he wasn’t sure where they stood back then. And after they confessed to each other, he was too busy thinking about New York to bring it up.
Thinking back, he did remember feeling comfortable with Mark upon first meeting him, he chalked it up to being tipsy at the time, but that didn't explain why he felt the same way when sober.
“How lucky for you then, Donghyuck never really dated anyone in college” Donghyuck cringed, knowing that Mark would think his lack of dating experience was because he was hung up on Jeno. He’d be right, too.
“Uhhh I don’t think you should be exposing me like this…” He spoke up.
“But what about you, did you date a lot in school?” Renjun asked, ignoring him.
“You don’t have to answer that.” He told mark, mentally apologizing for his friend.
“It’s okay haha, I wouldn’t say I dated a lot, I only had one or two relationships. I was really set on proving a point to my parents back then, so I dedicated myself mostly to my studies and that always ended up being the reason we’d break up.”
Renjun nodded, “Yeah that makes sense, how respectable Mark Lee.”
“Oh, we’re here! Impromptu interview over!”
“Interview?...” He asked, tired of his friend’s antics.
“Interview! Did you think I’d hand you over to someone without one? You wound me by underestimating my love for you, Donghyuck-ah.” He answered, hand to the heart in an exaggerated manner.
Donghyuck rolled his eyes and Mark smiled.
“Don’t worry Mark, you seem like a good guy, I won’t let them gang up on you in there. I’ll be on your side!” He saluted, as they handed the car to valet.
“I’ll hold you to that, Injun.”
They follow Renjun into the Korean restaurant, hand in hand, hoping for the best. When they reach the private room Donghyuck notices that they were the last to arrive and everyone else is already seated, including Jeno.
He’s the first person Donghyuck makes eye contact with and he sees how Jeno’s gaze lowers to his and Mark’s entwined hands and then to Mark himself. Maybe it’s been too long but he’s no longer able to guess what the other boy is thinking.
“You’re finally here!” Jaemin exclaims, standing up to hug Donghyuck.
“We’ve missed you so much!” Jisung adds as he follows in Jaemin’s lead.
“Hangouts aren’t the same without you, you know?” Chenle assures, leaving Jeno last.
He wondered a couple times how seeing Jeno again would go, how they would greet each other. When he left for Canada, he didn’t just lose his first love, he lost his best friend.
“I wish you’d have visited sooner,” Jeno says, and when they hug, Donghyuck wills his eyes not to water. Hugging Jeno felt like coming home.
“But I’m glad you came back, Hyuck.” He says as they let go.
“This must be Mark!” Jaemin points out, shaking his hand. “I’m Jaemin, what are the chances you have a brother?”
Mark laughs, “Nice to finally meet you Jaemin, sorry I’m an only child.”
“Well, I tried.”
One by one they each shake hands with Mark in greeting.
“Jisung.” He says, curtly. Jisung’s always been slow to trust people so Donghyuck wasn’t surprised at his greeting. He just hoped Mark wouldn’t take it too bad.
“And I’m Chenle, this one’s fiancé.”
“Oh, I heard! Congratulations to the both of you. Excited for the wedding?”
Jisung eases up a bit at the mention and smiles, “The planning is making me crazy.”
But regardless of what he says, anyone would be blind not to notice the dreamy look on his face.
“And I’m Jeno.” He says, extending his hand.
“I’ve heard a lot about you.” Mark replies, smile still on his face. Good job Mark!
“Really?’ He asks, looking at Donghyuck, “I wish I could say the same.”
Donghyuck feels the tension in the room increase tenfold. It was always a possibility that Jeno would react this way, but he had no right to treat Mark like this considering how things happened between them. He wasn’t sure whether to say something or not and looked to Renjun with pleading eyes.
Just as Renjun was about to cut in and say something, Mark replies, “I expected as much, but it’s okay, I’m here to change that. I’m happy to finally be able to meet Haechan’s best friends.”
Donghyuck lets out a breath and follows everyone in sitting down. The table was circular, and the group chose to sit in an order with Donghyuck, Mark, Jaemin, Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, and Renjun who was sitting next to Donghyuck.
He looked at Mark with a question in his eyes, everything okay? To which Mark nodded.
The waiter came and took their orders, leaving them with liberty to talk again.
“I guess I’ll be it and ask, how did you two meet?” Jaemin starts, looking to his left at Mark, and Donghyuck rolls his eyes. Here we go.
“They met at a bar; he was filling in as a bartender for his sick friend.” Renjun cuts in before Mark has a chance to answer.
“How the hell did you know?” Jaemin replies at the same time that Chenle whoops, “Bartender? How hot!”
"I have my sources." Renjun boasts.
"You literally found out ten minutes ago, dumbass." Donghyuck clarifies.
“Did you ask him about it on the way here? I thought we agreed you’d wait until we were all together!” Jaemin complains.
“I didn’t agree to a thing! You were the one that begged, and I simply chose not to listen.” Renjun defends, leaving Jaemin pouting.
“Don’t worry that’s all I asked, I promise!” He lies, but it seems to satisfy Jaemin and they move on.
“So apart from bartending in your free time, what is it that you do Mark?”
“I work in the marketing department of a tech company back home.” He oversimplifies to the point where Donghyuck side eyes him.
“Okay, that’s some serious side eye, what’s up with that.” Chenle instigates, sitting across from Donghyuck allowed him to see the entire interaction.
“He’s being modest, he’s the CMO and COO.” He chirps, to which some gasp.
“Both?? How old are you again?” Chenle questions at the same time Jaemin asks, “And what exactly do those letters stand for? Asking for those of us who didn’t major in business.” Gesturing to himself and Jeno.
“Chief marketing officer and chief operating officer. C’mon Nana, I did law and even I know that.” Chenle answers.
“Okay so? Your job is to sue these guys, of course you have to know who they are. But that sounds huge, how old are you really?” Jaemin argues.
“I turned 26 in August. But, um, it’s not a big deal, it’s my parents company so…”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you started from the bottom and worked your way up.” Donghyuck defends.
“That’s right, don’t undermine your own hard work!” Chenle adds and Mark smiles a thanks in response.
“So, we all agree that dinner is on Mark tonight then?” Jaemin states.
“Oh definitely.” Chenle agrees.
“Guys! You can’t force Mark to pay for everything, we’re all working adults here, plus he’s the guest!”
Mark laughs and shakes his head, “It’s fine Haechan-ah, it would be my pleasure to treat you all today.”
There’s a series of cheers and Donghyuck berates his friends, I guess not much has changed if they’re all still acting like some broke college kids.
“I can pay for myself.” Jeno puts in, “Yeah, me too.” Jisung adds.
“Oooh there go the engineers with their engineer paychecks.” Renjun taunts.
They laugh and move on to the next round of questioning as the food is brought in.
“What’s with this ‘Haechan’ by the way? A nickname for our hyuckie, I’m assuming, but how did it come up?” Renjun questioned.
“Oh, well, in Korean it means ‘full sun’ and I just felt like it fits him. He has that type of personality, the one that makes others feel warm.”
Donghyuck was glad that Mark didn’t mention why it is that he needed a new nickname in the first place.
Jaemin nods in agreement, “You’re right, I did always feel like he had a sunny personality. Plus, he’s a summer baby so it truly does fit him perfectly!” Everyone nods and there are some hums of approval.
“So, who confessed first?” Chenle, moves on, wondering.
Donghyuck and Mark look at each other and smile.
“Technically it was Donghyuck, but I made the first move.”
“If you were bartending, I’m sure you saw plenty of other people that night. What made you want to talk to Donghyuck?” Jisung questions.
Donghyuck also sometimes wondered if he and Mark only came to be because he was lucky and there weren’t many customers at the time.
“Honestly I wasn’t looking for anyone, if it was any other day I would’ve just gone straight home. I just saw him there and…” He holds Donghyuck’s gaze, “he looked like he needed someone.”
Jisung looked on in silence.
“Donghyuck, needing someone? That’s unusual, he’s always been fine on his own.” Chenle states.
“He’s right, actually. I wasn’t doing too great back then.” Donghyuck supports. He didn’t want to go into too much detail as to why he was in the bar that night lest things got awkward.
“What was wrong? Why didn’t you call one of us?” Jaemin asked with a concerned look in his face.
Just as Donghyuck feared, he thought about a way to change the direction of the conversation but knew better than to assume Jaemin would let things go that easily, so he decided to be honest—albeit partly.
“Ah, honestly, I was missing you guys. It had been more than a year since I got the chance to come back.” Because it was true, he felt like his friend group had moved on without him. As if his presence wasn’t really needed to begin with. “I was busy with work, so I never had the chance to come before and I felt like we were straying a bit far from each other.”
“We should have gone to you.” Jeno spoke up, a serious look on his face, and the others nodded.
“Sorry, Donghyuck. You just always looked like you were doing fine, and it seemed like your life was perfect over there in Vancouver.” Jisung added.
“Honestly when I saw you post Mark on Instagram, I really thought we lost you.” Renjun confesses.
“What do you mean?” Donghyuck asks, eyebrows furrowing.
“Well, I thought that if you found someone over there then you’d be extra busy and wouldn’t be able to spend even the holidays here, with us. And, honestly, I felt that you wouldn’t need us anymore after meeting someone who could replace us in terms of friendship.”
Donghyuck felt like crying, “No! I’d never replace you guys; I always knew I would come back when I was less busy.”
When
I had moved on more.
After that, the mood changed, everyone began talking about the things Donghyuck had missed when he was away.
Jisung discussed some details about the wedding planning and how he and Chenle would play paper rock scissors to see which two members of the group they would get as their groomsmen. Renjun talked about a cute barista he started talking to a while ago. Jaemin complained about how he was borderline about to get kicked out of his apartment for all his science experiments. Jeno started describing his new project at work but no one except for Jisung really listened because everyone else thought engineering was boring. And Chenle asked Mark if he knew anyone that needed to get sued back at home (he didn’t) and to call him if he ever did.
Like this, their dinner came to an end and it was time for everyone to go their separate ways with a promise of tomorrow.
“Where will you guys be staying, you’ll be here till Christmas, right?” Jaemin asked.
“Yes, we’re here all weekend! We’ll be staying at a hotel.” Donghyuck answered.
“Spending Christmas at a hotel??” Renjun frowned.
“Yeah that sounds kinda sad, plus aren’t they more expensive this time of year? Not that it matters to Mark I suppose.” Chenle added, as an afterthought.
“You can always stay with me.” Jeno suggested. “Both of you. I still have an extra room.”
Donghyuck stood in silence. He knew that the extra room that Jeno was talking about was most likely the one that was supposed to be his. He would have thought that, by now, he’d have found somewhere else to live in. As convenient as it would be, wouldn’t it be too much to subject Mark to this? So, he was about to decline as politely as he could when Mark answered,
“That’s really thoughtful of you Jeno, I hope you wouldn’t mind us imposing on you like this.”
Donghyuck turned, surprised at Mark agreeing.
“Really Jeno, we wouldn’t want to bother.” Donghyuck adds.
“Nah don’t worry about it, you’re my best friend, after all.”
So that’s how they end up at what was supposed to be his and Jeno’s apartment. It’s been more than a year, but he still remembers the excitement he felt when they were apartment hunting.
“Make yourselves at home.” Jeno says as he opens the door, pointing them to the room that would’ve been Donghyuck’s. “You can set your stuff up in that room.”
“Thanks again, man.” Mark thanks as he rolls their suitcases towards the room.
“No problem, I’m sure both of you are tired of being on a plane for hours.”
Donghyuck is aware that Mark often travels by plane for business but he himself doesn’t often, so he was actually feeling the aftereffects of the jetlag.
“Yeah, I know it’s only ten, but I think I’m going to have to call it an early night. I want to have enough energy for tomorrow’s brunch.”
And so the three separated, with Mark and Donghyuck going into the same room.
As soon as the door closed Donghyuck faced Mark, “Are you sure this is cool? You didn’t have to agree just because you didn’t want to be rude y’know?” He whispers, in case Jeno was in listening distance.
Mark leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips.
“Yes, it’s fine with me. I know he’s your childhood best friend. Plus, maybe if we spend more time together he’ll realize how cool I am.” He whispered back, kissing Donghyuck again as if to relieve his worries. It works.
He laughs softly and sighs, thankful to the heavens that Mark is so understanding. He doesn’t think he’d be cool with sharing the same living space as someone Mark was previously in love with had he been in his shoes.
“Okay, well, I wasn’t lying when I said I was calling it an early night so I’m going to sleep. I’m not used to changing time zones unlike someone else.”
Mark laughs as they both change into more comfortable clothing. Donghyuck had let Mark use some of his clothes because “they smelled better” or whatever. Although Donghyuck believes that it's just an excuse he gives him when he doesn’t wash his laundry.
He gets in bed and goes to sleep soon after, leaving Mark to his own devices.
Mark looks at a sleeping Donghyuck and sighs. He didn’t think this was where they’d end up staying the night. He knew that Donghyuck was planning on refusing Jeno’s proposal, and although some part of him would have preferred that, he didn’t want to be someone who came in between friendships like that.
Plus, the more he sees us together the faster he’ll realize Haechan’s heart lies with me now. The petty part of him thought.
Because it was as clear as day that Jeno’s feelings for Haechan hadn’t waned even a bit. He can’t believe it took Haechan kissing Jeno for him to realize of the latter’s feelings, anyone with eyes could clearly see what was going on.
He decides to get something to drink, too lonely without Haechan to talk to, when he runs into Jeno.
“Oh, hey, I was looking to get something to drink.” He says.
“Sure, right over there, there some juice and waters in the fridge. Hyuck’s asleep?” He asks, and Mark notices the way his eyes linger on Mark’s shirt, as if he knows that it’s Donghyuck’s. Mark realizes that he probably does.
“Ah yeah, completely out.” He answers as they part ways.
He called him Hyuck. Mark now understands why Haechan didn’t want him to use that nickname. It hurts to know that, even back then, he was thinking about Jeno. He knows that the two were childhood friends and that they grew up together, it just bothers him that there’s someone who seems to know every fiber of Haechan’s being. Jeno carries himself like there’s nothing about Haechan he doesn’t know, and it might even be true.
No, it’s not. They haven’t talked in over a year, plenty of things change in that time. It isn’t a race; you have the rest of your life to get to know each other. The helpful part of his brain supplies.
Hopefully. The not-so-helpful part adds.
He drinks some water and decides to join Haechan in bed, all this overthinking can’t be good for him. At the end of the day, he’s the one who gets to wake up to Haechan, he surmises.
☾
Mark wakes from his slumber to a phone call.
“Johnny?” He whispers groggily, making his way out of the room in order not to wake Haechan up.
“Mark… Sorry to be the bringer of bad news… and I know you’re out of the country…” Johnny hesitates.
“Out with it.” He sighs, already having an inkling of what will be asked of him.
“The collaboration with Exolution, Shinees, and Vision Inc. is receiving hate from a group of environmentalists. They’re mobbing the lobby and all companies want a meeting to find a solution. All the main contributors will be there, so you should to go, too. It's possible for you to stay back but... they might make an important decision without you.” He summarizes.
Mark sighs into the phone, just what he needed. He has an option but, really, there’s no way out of this.
“When’s my flight?” He asks, dejectedly.
“In two hours.” Johnny answers, knowingly.
“Okay, I’ll be there.”
“Sorry to ruin your Christmas like this boss, I know you were looking forward to it.” Johnny says apologetically.
“Yeah…” Mark says before hanging up.
He walks back into the room, mentally preparing himself for what he’s about to do.
“Haechan-ah…” He whispers as he pats the younger boy gently.
“Mmmmng”
“Haechan…” he says once more.
“Is it brunch time?” His boyfriend answers, half asleep.
“No, but something came up. I’m so sorry. I have to go back to Vancouver.”
This seems to wake him up.
“You have to go? Is everything okay?” He asks, sitting up.
“Honestly? Not really. It’s a big mess back there, they’re mobbing our lobby. I’m sorry baby, I really wanted to spend Christmas with you, but I’m not sure this will be solved in time.” He apologizes.
“No… It’s okay. Well, it’s not okay. You deserve to spend Christmas doing what you want and not fixing problems. Who the hell mobs lobbies on Christmas anyway?... But don’t apologize, this isn’t your fault, I’m not mad and I don’t blame you.”
Mark exhaled in relief, “I love you. Thank you.”
“I love you too, when do you leave?”
“My flight’s in two hours so I have to leave as soon as possible.” Haechan nods.
“Do you need me to help you back?” He asks, getting ready to stand up.
Mark shakes his head, “No, there’s not much I unpacked anyway, I’ll leave like this and change when I get there. He pushes Haechan back to bed and gives him a deep kiss, wishing things were different and he could stay.
“Go back to sleep, I’ll be leaving now.” He says as he parts away.
Donghyuck smiles as he nods, “Okay, be careful. Let me know how everything goes.”
“Will do.” Mark replies as he steps out of the door.
I hope
I don't regret this.
I hope
I'm not making a mistake.
After wishing Mark good luck, Donghyuck finds himself going back to sleep, only waking up when his alarm for brunch goes off.
He checks his phone and sees a text from Mark.
Mark <3:
just landed, will let u know how things go
hope you have fun at brunch bb
kk! and I’ll send pics ;*
He changes into the outfit he had planned today, upset that Mark isn’t able to join him but understanding that some things simply can’t be helped.
Once he gets done, he leaves their room and is met with Jeno who is also ready.
Jeno looks behind Donghyuck, confused. “And Mark?” He asks.
“Something urgent happened at work and he needed to go back, he left late at night.” He explains.
Jeno seems to pause at this, hesitating whether to say something or not.
“Oh…”
Donghyuck furrows his eyebrows, he might have been gone for a year, but he still knows when there’s something Jeno wants to say.
He doesn’t coax him; he doesn’t ask him what it is. He simply stands there and waits for Jeno to speak up. When it comes to Jeno, he’s used to waiting.
“Hyuck, I have to tell you something.”
So Donghyuck listens.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
They sit on the couch, facing each other. Brunch long forgotten.
“Hyuck…” Jeno starts, “I don’t even know where to begin, but I guess the beginning would be probably the best." He dry laughs, rubbing his neck.
Donghyuck knows that telltale sign of nervousness. He decides to let Jeno figure things out on his own. The Donghyuck of last year would have said something to break the silence, but this Donghyuck knows that Jeno needs time to form his thoughts. He chews on the inside of his cheek and nods at Jeno to go on.
"I'm sure you know this, but I thought you deserved to hear it from me. I love you, and I've loved you all along. You were right back then, like always." He whispers the last part, reminiscently.
Donghyuck's breath catches in his throat and he's left speechless, only one thought pops up in his head. But Jeno's right, when he left for Vancouver, he already knew of Jeno's feelings. But he left because he never thought Jeno would be able to admit to them as easily as he did just now. He wants to say something, wants to reply, but this is Jeno's time to talk. It's not like he'd know what to say, anyway.
"Jieun and I broke up a month after you left for Vancouver." He confesses.
This surprises Donghyuck, he thought they were together all this time. He never would have imagined them to break up only a month after his move. He thinks about how different things would be right now if only he had known this, and then chooses to forget.
"She was never it for me, obviously, girls in general weren't it for me."
"When you left... I felt like I lost a piece of myself, the central piece, the one that holds all the other ones together. I felt like there was nothing left for me. I know you had said you'd come back after you reigned control of your feelings but... deep inside I knew I didn't want that. I loved you. And I knew that if you came back, and you didn't love me anymore, you wouldn't be the Hyuck I knew. So I did things I regret in my grief of losing you."
Donghyuck felt like crying, this was too raw for him, he was never ready to hear something like this. He was prepared to live the rest of his life never hearing this from Jeno and he had accepted that fact.
"And I'm not saying this is, in any way, your fault. I'm not saying this so you feel bad about leaving." He assures, seeing the look on Donghyuck's face.
"I got help. I went to therapy."
He stares at Jeno. He didn't realize the lengths Jeno went to during the time he was gone. All this time, he thought he was living the same life as before, with his girlfriend, even if it was a lie.
"I've loved you from the beginning, since we were kids. I didn't think much of it, I just considered it people loving people. It wasn't until my parents spoke to me one night, worried about how close we were, that I realized what I felt wasn't
normal.
Or, at least, that's what I thought back then. I spent years by your side, in love with you, but disgusted by myself. I dated girls so that I could be what my parent's wanted me to be, but nothing changed for me. How could anyone compare to you?" He shakes his head as he laughs.
"Then you came out to me, and I thought that maybe what I felt wasn't so wrong, that maybe we had a chance. But... I couldn't find it in me to accept myself. I was scared of confronting my feelings and dealing with everything that came after. I love my family, more than I love myself, and I knew what they thought about this. I couldn't risk losing them by doing something I thought was selfish like confessing. But in doing so, I lost you."
Donghyuck was crying now. He knew this part, he knew about Jeno's family. What he didn't know, was how much Jeno had been suffering, how hard his mental conflict was. Maybe, if he had stayed, if he had helped Jeno so he wouldn't go through this alone...
"I came out to them, though."
Donghyuck stared at Jeno, tears still escaping his eyes, disbelieving.
"It was almost like they had expected it. I guess I wasn't able to hide my love for you all that well." He smiles, a small smile.
"They told me that they'd work hard to understand these things, that they'd research. Because I was still their son, I always would be, because they loved me."
Jeno was crying now, too. But that didn't stop him from continuing.
"I was waiting until I was certain that I was ready, to talk to you. I wanted to see you so bad, but I knew it wouldn't do either of us any good if I went to you without being prepared. You didn't deserve incompleteness, and you still don't."
"When Jaemin called you all those months ago, I was by his side. I made him promise me he wouldn't tell you about my progress because I wanted to be the one to tell you, myself. I... still had hope for us, I was ready to beg for another chance. You had said you weren't seeing anyone... But then you posted Mark on Instagram. You brought him with you, here, to the home we were supposed to share." Jeno says, looking to Donghyuck for answers.
"I... Jeno I'm so happy for you. I'm proud of you for having gotten so far in the last year. I knew about your parents and I didn't want to make you have to choose, so I took the choice away from you and left." He replied, still crying.
"I loved you so much, and for so long. I loved you so much I wanted to shout it to the world, I wanted everyone to know Donghyuck Lee loved Jeno Lee. But I knew you weren't ready for something like that, and at the time, I thought you never would be. I didn't want to hide my love for you anymore, it was killing me inside, as I'm sure it was for you."
Jeno nodded, understanding.
"I wasn't lying when I told Jaemin that I wasn't seeing anyone, it was true at the time. I... met Mark that same night, actually. After talking to Jaemin, all I could think about was everything I left behind and how everyone had moved on without me, it broke me. A part of me felt like it had something to prove to you guys, so I went out to a bar that night. That's where I met Mark." He took a breath.
"Mark... he really came out of nowhere. Yes, I went out looking for company that night, but I never expected it to turn out like this. I didn't expect... to fall in love with him the way I did..." Donghyuck admits, looking at the hurt in Jeno's eyes.
"He helped me realize I was a complete person; I was just hurt. The same way you were. Because I also felt like you did after I left, I also thought things would never get better. But I was wrong, Mark proved me wrong. He made me feel safe and I never felt scared with him, I might have confessed to him first, but I never doubted his feelings for me."
Jeno looks down, understanding that Donghyuck found someone who was able to give him something he wasn't able to. But still... he couldn't help but have hope in his heart.
"Hyuck, I understand you're in a relationship, and I respect that. I'm happy you were able to find someone that helped you heal. If anything, I'm sorry I was acting like an asshole to him yesterday, I'll apologize if you want. But, please, do you think we can ever be what we're meant to be? We've loved each other for so long I can't help but think that things shouldn't end here. I know time means nothing when it comes to love, but it must count a little, right? I want to show you that I'm a different person from the one you left a year ago and I'm willing to wait."
Donghyuck stares at Jeno, the way his eyes are tinged with pink and eyelashes wet with unshed tears, the slight tremble in his hands. He thinks of the childhood he spent by his side, his teenage years, too. This is the man who taught him what love was, the one who was always by his side. Jeno, whose arms felt like the home he never truly had.
Not loving him didn't ever seem like an option, he knew he would love Jeno forever.
"Jeno... let me think about this... please..." He begged.
Jeno nodded, standing up.
"I'm sure we're late to brunch, but knowing them, they're probably all still there. I'll go and tell them about you and Mark not being able to make it."
Donghyuck thanks Jeno and watches as he shuts the door behind him.
I need to call Mark.
Things have happened, things have changed. He can't leave Mark in the dark like this.
He takes out his phone, ignoring his friends' numerous messages about the brunch, and calls Mark, hoping that things aren't too bad wherever he is.
"Hello?" Mark answers.
"Hey Mark, how's everything? Did I call at a wrong time?" He asked, biting his lip.
"Everything's fine, we were able to figure something out. It's out of our hands now but I have to stay here in case the news isn't received well. Sorry, Haechan-ah, I really would have preferred to spend Christmas with you."
"It's okay. I told you, you don't have to apologize for things like this."
"Ah, sorr-uhm... how was brunch?" He asks.
This is it.
I have to tell him.
"I didn't end up going." There's a pregnant pause, and Mark asks,
"Did... something happen?" almost knowing.
Donghyuck takes a deep breath.
"Jeno... he uh... confessed to me, properly this time."
He hears Mark's intake of breath through the line.
"He told me everything he went through while I was gone and how he went to therapy and came out to his parents... He told me he was willing to wait for me."
Mark takes another shaky breath.
"And... what did you say?"
"I didn't say anything. I knew I needed to tell you first."
Another pause. Donghyuck waits, hands trembling.
"Thank you for telling me, Haechan-ah..."
"Of course, I'd never keep something like this from yo—" But he's cut off.
"I love you. I know you know that." Donghyuck nods although he knows Mark can't see him.
"And because I love you, I want you to be happy. I want you to be the happiest you can be, even if that means it isn't with me. If I was any lesser of a man, I'd beg for you. I'd get on the first flight back and get on my knees for you. But at the end of the day, you have to do what makes
you
the happiest. And if that's being with Jeno, then I'll... I can't force you to choose me, Haechan-ah. I can only tell you how I feel."
"I understand." Donghyuck replies, because he does, he really does.
"I trust you to do what you feel is right for you, without thinking about anything else. I have to go for now, but, call me if you need anything, okay?"
"Okay."
"I love you." Donghyuck says, voice almost a whisper.
"I know you do, Haechan, I never once doubted that you did." And the line cuts off.
Mark looks at his phone and the wallpaper of Haechan kissing him on the cheek stares back at him.
How long after his phone shut off did he continue looking at it? He can't tell.
He doesn't feel like doing anything anymore.
Did I... just lose him?
A knock to door interrupts his thought.
"Mark? I was wondering if you wanted to go get lun—woah is everything okay? Did we receive more backlash?" Lucas asks him, closing the door, panicked.
"No... Nothing like that. I just got off the phone with my boyfriend."
Ex-boyfriend?
He doesn't want to think about it.
Lucas takes a seat across from him.
"Want to talk about it? 'Work, love, or family' you helped me, remember?" He coaxes.
Mark sighs, shakily.
"My boyfriend, he moved to Vancouver because he was in love with his best friend, but he thought it would never work out."
Lucas nodded, following along.
"We were going to spend Christmas together in New York, his first time going back since he left. I was worried as fuck, but I met his friends, I like them; they're really nice, funny, people. His best friend was there, obviously, and I met him too. Kind of an asshole to me, but I knew he was doing it because of Haechan, I know he's a good guy too. There's no way Haechan—my boyfriend—would have fallen in love with him if he wasn't. But... Lucas... you should've seen the way this guy was looking at him. I was right there next to him at almost all times, but he looked at Haechan as if he was the only one that mattered, like I wasn't even there." He shakes his head.
"Haechan called me right now. He confirmed my suspicions, the dude confessed to him. Told him all about how he went to therapy and how he came out to his parents. How he'd fucking wait for him if he had to." He spit out as he balled his fists.
"They were basically childhood fucking sweethearts, Lucas. They grew up together, they've known each other their whole lives! How can I compete with that? How could I? Who am I to stand in between them?" He asked, almost to himself, disbelieving.
"What did you say to him? You keep referring to him as your boyfriend, so I'll take the liberty to assume that you didn't break up."
Mark laughs, bitterly.
"I told him to think about it and follow his heart, to do what would make him happiest. To not think about anything else—our relationship—and choose what was best for him. Because... I love him, man. I love him so much that I don't want him to stay with me if his heart is with someone else."
Lucas nods in understanding.
"But Lucas, I'm scared... I've never been this in love before, I've never felt this way about anyone else before. You know, in the few relationships I had, my past partners all broke up with me because I kept putting work first and was too busy, because something always came up at the wrong time. You know how this life is... but Haechan has never once gotten mad at me for it. Even today, we had planned this trip for a while, yet I was called in to work. He doesn't even let me apologize for leaving, how can someone be that understanding? What if I just made the biggest mistake of my life? Should I have fought for him? Begged? I'm absolutely, fully, capable of begging. Did I just send him off into the arms of his best friend?" He wonders.
"Mark..." Lucas starts,
"I know it was hard to do, but you did the right thing. If he doesn't come back to you, here, he was never really yours in the first place. All I can really say is, and I know this won't be very helpful but, you'll see where his heart truly lies after this."
Mark knows Lucas is right.
He knows.
But it does little to help ease his pain.
"I know he loves me. I don't have a single doubt that he does. I just hope it's enough for him to choose me."
He thinks back to the first night he met Haechan, at the bar. Taeyong had called him up, voice sounding funny from his stuffed-up nose.
"Mark... I think I'm going to have to call in that favor you owe me."
"What favor? When exactly did you have a favor against me?" Mark had asked, memory failing him.
Taeyong's cough resonates through the line and Mark cringed, feeling bad for his friend.
"Don't you remember when I went on that blind date for you that your mom arranged?"
"Ah." Mark exclaimed as he finally remembers what was once forgotten,
"Right... But, wait a minute! I remember you telling me you slept together! Does it really count as a favor if you gained something from it?" He wondered.
Taeyong's laugh is raspy, "Listen, what matters is the initial favor that I am now cashing out."
That was how he found himself serving customers nonstop on a long night. It was incredibly busy, and he thought it was never going to end. He just wanted to go home and sleep, fuck Taeyong for getting sick, he thought.
Almost like magic, the bar started clearing up, and there was almost no one left. He sighed in relief and wondered if anyone would notice if he decided to close up early, when, a customer came and sat down.
Of course this happens right when
I'm
thinking about
dipping,
he sighs internally.
He turns his head, about to offer the new customer a drink, when his breath catches at the sight before him.
Finally,
is the first thought that comes to his mind, which, confuses him.
He
might just be the most
beautiful man alive, Mark thinks.
His palms get sweaty and for the first time that night, he takes a few seconds wondering how to greet a customer. He settles on,
"Can I help you with a drink?"
"Is there a drink that'll make me irresistible to men?" The honey skinned man answers in an equally sweet voice.
Mark's heart beats harder.
You don't need a
drink to accomplish that,
he thinks.
Mark sighs, back in the present, where the two men sit in silence. He doesn't regret meeting Haechan, even if he isn't the one the younger boy chooses, he'll never regret loving him.
Jeno takes a seat in front of his friends, saying nothing.
"Wow, look who finally decided to show up!" Jaemin exclaims, then proceeds to look behind the way Jeno came.
"Where's Donghyuck and Mark?" He asks.
"Mark got an urgent call from work and had to take the first flight back to Vancouver." He answers.
"Oof, I take back anything I ever said about wanting a high-level position. If it's going to be anything like that, they can keep it." Chenle states and Jisung nods in agreement.
"And Donghyuck? He didn't go back with him, did he?" Renjun asked, doubtful that the younger would do that.
"No... Donghyuck is back at the apartment."
"And... why's he back there?..." Jaemin asks, intuitively.
"I confessed, I told him everything." He finally admits.
The group exchanges looks of worry.
"And uh... how did that go?" Jisung, the youngest but the only one that dared to speak up, asks.
"He told me about how much he loved me. How he left because he couldn't bear not acting out on his feelings for me. He told me how broken he felt when he got to Vancouver. How he felt like we had replaced him and that he wasn't needed anymore."
The group exchange a series of frowns.
"He was always so busy." Chenle whispers.
"We could have still tried harder to talk to him, though." Jisung refutes, for maybe the first time in their relationship.
Donghyuck was younger than the other three, but was older than Jisung, so he had always looked up to him like a big brother. He would pretend to be annoyed when Donghyuck would coddle him with affection, but he secretly enjoyed it. He was happy Donghyuck was able to freely show his love like that regardless of how little he received growing up. Apart from Jeno, Donghyuck's leaving really hit him the hardest. Every day he would regret taking for granted the affection Donghyuck would show him.
"Yeah, I could've gone to him." Jeno admits.
"No, don't do that to yourself. You were doing your hardest to become the person you thought Donghyuck deserved. Don't blame yourself for the time it took you to get better." Jaemin defended.
Jeno sighs, knowing he's right.
"He told me about Mark... About how he helped heal him. How he thought he was broken, as I did, but that Mark taught him that he was whole. Only hurt. And he helped him through that hurt."
Renjun nods, "Mark's a smart dude..."
Jaemin nudges him in scolding.
"No, Injun has a point, Mark was right. We, both of us, had to stop seeing ourselves as pieces of a whole. It's a disservice and would only slow our healing. Mark is a good guy. It's okay to say it, I know you're all my friends, but I also know you like him, too."
They look at each other.
"He seems to make Hyuckie really happy." Renjun admits, keeping his word and being on Mark's side.
Since they first met, back in the freshman year of their undergrad days, Renjun was always rooting for Donghyuck and Jeno to get together. It didn't take a genius to figure out the two idiots were in love and tip toeing around their feelings. He tried not to be pushy about it, knowing Jeno's situation, but he couldn't help but want them to date already. He was always a sucker for a good slow-burn childhood best friends to lovers trope. But he'll never forget the look on Donghyuck's face the night of Jaemin's party, on the night that everything changed.
He had seen Jeno run out of a room with a hand to his mouth and a panicked expression. He knew Jeno had gone to look for Donghyuck earlier so he could only guess what had happened.
He walked towards the door that was left wide open in the quick escape, and saw Donghyuck, kneeling on the ground and crying his heart out. He had seen Donghyuck cry before, when he failed an important exam, after a sad book or movie, or the really bad ones when he came back from a visit to his parents. But none of them were ever like this. He closed the door after he walked in the room and held his best friend as he cried in his arms.
He knew right then and there, that he would never let Donghyuck become like this ever again. He would make sure his best friend was happy once again, and he knew that he had to get away from Jeno to do it, even if it meant he'd have to get away from him too.
So just like that, he made up his mind, and carefully thought out his next sentence, "Hyuckie, I think you should accept the job in Canada." He whispered. He never told anyone about this conversation.
"Donghyuck looked so sad when he left... There was no trace of that person, yesterday, next to Mark." Jisung whispers, bringing Renjun to the present.
Jisung loves Jeno. The two would bond over engineering and had shared endless nights of studying next to each other. He knew Jeno loved Donghyuck, but he also knew how much he had hurt him. It's the reason Donghyuck ran all the way to Canada. He won't lie and say he didn't hold it against Jeno for some time, but when he later found out what the older boy was going through, it couldn't help but break his heart.
He just wanted both of his hyungs to be happy. And, before meeting Mark, he really thought that that happiness would be with each other. Jisung knows he acted like a hardass with Mark, he was suspicious of the boy that randomly showed up and was scared that he would steal away his older brother forever. He always knew Donghyuck would return to New York, it's where his home was. But ever since Mark happened, Jisung's biggest fear was Donghyuck realizing Mark was enough and never coming back or Mark keeping him from returning.
But after meeting Mark in person, he knew he wasn't the type of person to do that. Donghyuck had come back, after all.
Jaemin looked at Jeno's pained expression. No one knew the hurt Donghyuck felt better than Jeno did. He knew the older boy was probably, once again, blaming himself for having caused Donghyuck that anguish. While disregarding his own, like always. Jaemin watched Jeno struggle to come to terms with his sexuality and watched the way he had basically self-destructed after the younger boy left.
Jaemin knew that Donghyuck leaving was the best thing he could have done for himself, but he also saw firsthand what it did to Jeno. He knew it made him feel as if he wasn't worth waiting for, he was just scared to say it. For the longest time he was rooting for them to get together, he was rooting for Jeno's happiness. But... he couldn't help but wonder if they'd ever truly be able to forget the pain they caused one another. He saw how Donghyuck found happiness with someone else and wondered if Jeno would ever let himself find his elsewhere, if things didn't end up working out.
"What else did he say? How did he reply to your confession, specifically? Did you ask him to give you another chance?" Jaemin asked.
"I told him I respected his relationship with Mark but that I would be willing to wait for him. That I wanted to show him the person I became." He answers, head down, too ashamed to look at his friends.
"Oh, Jeno..."
"And what did he say to that?" Chenle pressed. He loved Jeno and Donghyuck, he just wanted both of his friends to be happy. He saw how the two of them were after the events of Jaemin's party, albeit he got to see a bit of Jeno more. The group was split up, broken. He missed Donghyuck, he wanted the gang to get back together and laugh like they used to.
But he also thought Mark was a really nice guy, and he could tell just how much he cared for Donghyuck, anyone could tell by looking, really. And him and Donghyuck were together now, a proper couple and all. If Jisung's childhood friend came up and tried to steal Jisung away all of a sudden... He wouldn't know what to do, or even think. As one of the only people in the gang to be in a relationship, he couldn't help but sympathize with Mark, who most likely didn't know about any of this before getting with Donghyuck.
All he wanted was for everyone's pain to end. But he was smarter than that, he knew that regardless of what choice was made, one person would end up hurt. He just hoped it wouldn't be irreparable, he hoped more than anything for everyone to be able to hang out together one day, pain long forgiven and forgotten.
"He said he needed some time to think about it." He answered, looking up.
"Well, that isn't really a rejection, isn't it?" Chenle points out.
Jeno shakes his head in answer, too scared to voice out the glimmering shimmer of hope in his heart.
"Well it's all up to Donghyuck now. He has to think about what he wants and what will make him happy." Jisung concludes, and the group nods.
Donghyuck sat on the bed him and Mark shared, albeit only for a few hours. The bed that was supposed to be his, in the apartment he was planning on sharing with the person he was in love with.
He thinks about the childhood they spent together, the childhood he otherwise wouldn't have had if it wasn't for Jeno. He still remembers that, even now.
By the time Donghyuck was able to form his first coherent thought, he knew his parents didn't love each other. It didn't take much to tell.
His parents fought a lot, almost all parents do, he supposes. But his parents fought so much that he wondered how they even managed to have him and his older brother in the first place. They were four years apart. Enough time to realize your mistake and divorce, he remembers his brother telling him, once.
His older brother was all he had, but even so, he didn't have much. He wasn't an overly emotional person, but he had more experience dealing with their parents than Donghyuck did. Donghyuck looked up to him.
He trained himself to ignore his parents, to tone them out, make them nothing more than background noise. He was used to this. His brother did it and therefore he could, too. Donghyuck knew better than to go to his older brother for emotional support, he was thankful to have Jeno for that, but he longed for the day his brother would outwardly show him affection.
He kept these thoughts to himself and waited silently, optimistic that his wish would come true. But that day would never come. Donghyuck had just come back from his last day of middle school, excited to finally consider himself a high schooler. He ran to his brother's room to ask for advice and found it empty.
"Hyung?" He spoke to the empty room, echo answering him.
He went to find his parents and found his mom in her office.
"Mom, where's hyung? And where's all his stuff? Are we moving?" He wondered, naive.
"Your older brother packed his stuff and went to college. He said he couldn't stand it here and left." She answered, bitterly.
Donghyuck felt his world spin and tried to regain his cool.
It's okay,
I can always visit him. No matter where he is!
He thought.
And so, after getting his hyung's information from his mom, he saved up to be able to visit him all on his own. If his brother went away so that he could escape their parents, Donghyuck thought that the last thing he'd want was for them to come with him.
He saved all his lunch money and allowances and finally had enough money to visit his brother after a semester. It was almost winter break and he decided that would be the best time to visit, considering his hyung would be done with class, too.
He took the train to visit his brother, cities away, and finally made it in front of his dorm room. With a nervous heart, Donghyuck knocked on the door. It had been so long since he last saw his brother, he was sure he'd get a hug from him today.
His hyung opened the door with a smile that dropped as soon as he saw him,
"What are you doing here?" He asked, looking around, maybe thinking their parents came too.
"Don't worry, It's just me! I came to visit hyung." Donghyuck smiled.
"Who is it?" Someone, probably hyung's roommate, asked.
He looked back, "Ah, no one, someone got the wrong dorm."
"Oh okay."
"Here, I'll help you find the one you're looking for." His brother said to Donghyuck, with a fake smile, as he closed the door behind him.
"You need to leave. Go back home."
"Hyung, why did you lie? Why didn't you say your little brother came to see you?" He wondered.
"I told my friends I was an only child. I told them my parents are overseas. It's too embarrassing to mention our parents. It was easier to make up this lie than to have to explain how they can't be within three feet of each other without arguing."
"But... why did you have to erase me?"
"Donghyuck... You are a part of that family I'm trying to run away from. You're young, I don't even know how you got here, but I couldn't risk you visiting with mom or dad and uncovering my lie."
Donghyuck stared at his older brother.
"Since you were able to make it on your own today, maybe I can say you're a cousin? As long as you don't slip up, I'd be okay with you visiting like this."
He backed away from his brother.
The person he considered a role model for so long, the person whose affection he craved the most. He looked at the person who was only willing to love him in secret and walked away without ever looking back.
Donghyuck remembers how hard he cried in Jeno's arms that night, after coming home. He never saw his older brother again. He felt thankful to have Jeno, he had no idea how he would have survived that time of his life without him.
Jeno was like Donghyuck's anchor, the only thing keeping him grounded. Some years later, he followed in his brother's footsteps for the last time, and moved out for college.
Donghyuck knows now that he only ever had the will to do all that because he had Jeno by his side. He wouldn't be the person he is now without him. It came to him easy, falling in love with Jeno, by the time he realized he was in love he couldn't remember a single time he wasn't. It happened without notice, like growing up.
He thought about the future he could have with Jeno, someone who knew him to his core. Someone who knew all his insecurities and all his fault. Even a year couldn't erase a lifetime of knowledge.
Then he thought about Mark. Mark, who didn't save him from his family, but saved him from himself. Who helped open his eyes to the world around him. Who helped him realize that the world doesn't stop being beautiful just because you're sad.
Donghyuck was engulfed in his own sadness, letting life pass him by. He still would be that way, had he not met Mark. He's not confident enough in himself to say that he would have returned to New York for Christmas, if it hadn't been for him.
He didn't expect to fall in love with Mark, not at all. He remembers his thought process behind choosing to go to the bar that night, he was only looking for some company. Someone to get his mind off of things.
But he got so much more than that, so even though he didn't expect it, he wasn't surprised to have fallen in love. Falling in love with Mark came suddenly, like a summer shower or a winter storm. Before he knew it, he was stuck right in the middle, unprepared, without an umbrella or a coat.
He could remember exactly who he was before he fell in love with Mark, and because of that, he was able to acknowledge that this love made him a better person.
Donghyuck thought about the future he could have with Mark, someone who didn't know him as well as Jeno did. Someone who didn't know anything about the way he grew up, who didn't know how he became the person he was.
He would have to be vulnerable, once again, he would have to open up. He would have to hope Mark still thought he was worth it after seeing all his scars and defects.
Donghyuck was scared. Would it be worth it? Showers and storms, don't those things both come to an end?
He thought about it for what felt like hours. Deep inside, he knew he could do no wrong. Either way, both Jeno and Mark were great people, he knew that. Donghyuck could think about this for longer, realistically he probably should, but he also knew that the longer he stretched this out, the more hurt he risked putting Mark and Jeno through.
He knew he had a decision to make, and he knew that for many, it wasn't an easy one. Donghyuck looks from his phone to Jeno's room across the hall. It's not a hard decision to make.
The door to the apartment opens with the sound of jingling keys.
"Hyuck?" Jeno voices, almost scared to step in.
Donghyuck gets up from the bed and runs to Jeno, crushing him in a hug.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Two months later
"Babe, I can always go up there and help you pack your things, it would make moving go faster."
"You're so sweet, my love, but I'm almost done anyway!"
Donghyuck is happy about being able to move in with the love of his life. He's on cloud nine and there's absolutely no bringing him down.
He finishes packing up his things and heads down to the man waiting for him.
"See, told you I was almost done." He says as he plants a kiss on the older boy.
The two finish putting all the boxes in the moving van and prepare to take off.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" The older boy asks, once again.
"Absolutely, I want you for more than just weekends, y'know?" Donghyuck replies.
Mark laughs, remembering when he first heard Donghyuck say that.
They make their way to Mark's apartment and begin to unpack.
They've spent more time at Donghyuck's apartment and would have realistically moved in there, but that apartment was provided by his company and it felt weird to live in a place he couldn't really call his own.
So that's how they decided that he'd move in with Mark instead, his place was bigger, anyway.
After the two finished unpacking, they were famished.
"I'll make us something to eat!" Donghyuck volunteered, walking towards the kitchen.
"Haechan, wait!" But it was too late.
Donghyuck had opened the fridge and it was a sight to see. There was absolutely nothing edible in there except for a couple of waters and string cheese.
"String cheese? Really?"
He suddenly remembers that every time he would spend the night at Mark's they would eat out or order in. At the time, he just thought that the older boy was a terrible cook due to their past baking experience. But he realizes now how serious the problem really was.
"They peel easy..." Mark defends, as if that's a good answer.
"Okay, put your shoes on, we're going grocery shopping. I refuse to live like this. You monster."
Mark pouts but follows him anyway.
Many things changed the day Jeno confessed, sure, but one thing remained the same. And that was Donghyuck's love for Mark.
Two months ago
"Hyuck?" Jeno voices, almost scared to step in.
Donghyuck gets up from the bed and runs to Jeno, crushing him in a hug.
"Jeno, I loved you for a long time and I probably still do, as I'm sure I always will. You were my first love, the person who taught me how to love. But... when you confessed to me, only one thought came into my head; I had to tell Mark. My first thought was about how I didn't want to hurt him, because I'm in love with him." He says this all while hugging Jeno, too much of a coward to be looking at him in the eyes.
But eventually, like with all things, Donghyuck had to let go.
He stepped back from the older boy and faced him.
"I'm sorry Jeno." He whispers.
And although he sees hurt in the older boy's eyes, he sees understanding along with it.
Jeno nods, he had hope, but he knew things would end this way.
It was a last-ditch effort, asking Hyuck for a chance. He knew Hyuck was in love with Mark. He knew, because Hyuck looked at Mark the way he had once looked at him.
He never really had a chance.
"I kind of knew it would always go this way." Jeno admits.
Donghyuck looks at him.
"You were my first love, too. And you're right, I will probably always love you as well. But even I can admit it isn't our time anymore. The time for us passed, we're both different now. We aren't the same people we were before, when we fell in love."
Donghyuck nods, tears in his eyes.
"It really is right person, wrong time, huh?"
Jeno smiles and nods, but deep inside he knows that the world aligns itself for the people who should really be together. It's why he and Donghyuck kept missing each other, his world was aligned with someone else.
"We're still best friends, right?" Donghyuck asks, voice small.
"You can't get rid of me with a failed confession, idiot." Jeno comforts, and the two laugh.
Of course, he would need time. Jeno understands why Donghyuck didn't choose him, but that understanding won’t stop the hurting of his heart. And because he knows this pain, the pain someone else must also be feeling, he says,
"You know, if you take the first flight back, you should make it in time to Vancouver for Christmas."
Donghyuck smiles and turns to pack, tears escaping his eyes as he heads to the room that, in another life, would have been his.
He knew from the start who he was going to choose. He knew who he was in love with. But that didn't make the memories of what he shared with Jeno hurt any less.
Jeno was there for him when his big brother wasn't, and he'll always be thankful for that. But it was because of the way his big brother treated him that Donghyuck left Jeno in the first place. He didn't want to be loved in secret. He knows that Jeno changed, that he's different now, but it's too late.
Donghyuck had met Mark, someone who wasn't afraid to hold his hand in front of others, talk about him to his co-workers, and hold his waist in museums. Someone whose every action screamed love.
Sure, Donghyuck would have to open up about his past to Mark. Yes, it would be scary and yes it would be easier with Jeno. But just because something is easy doesn't mean it's for the best.
He's nervous, but he's looking forward to opening up to Mark. He's looking forward to the future they can have together. He knows the older boy is understanding and would never judge.
For a while, he thought that if it weren't for his feelings for Jeno, he would have never met Mark. But he realizes that's not exactly true. If he never had feelings for Jeno, he would've taken the incredible job offer in Vancouver anyway, he wouldn't have chosen to stay with his best friend.
He felt as if he was always meant to meet Mark, it was only a matter of when.
Once he's done packing up, he begins to head out, looking to bid Jeno goodbye.
The older boy is nowhere to be seen and Donghyuck doesn't push. He understands that this distance is something Jeno needs, too.
He takes a taxi to the airport and contemplates whether to text or call Mark first. He wanted to be romantic like in those movies and just show up, but he realizes how anxious Mark must be without knowing Donghyuck's heart. As he makes it to the terminal, he decides that calling him would be best when he realizes that with all the drama, he failed to charge his phone.
"Okay now that's totally a movie moment right there." He admits.
"Donghyuck!!" He hears someone call.
He turns and sees his friends, minus Jeno, running towards him.
"How did you guys know I was going to be here?" He asks, surprised.
"Jeno told us what happened." Jaemin answered, engulfing him in a bear hug.
"I'm glad you were able to make the decision that made you happiest." Renjun states, taking his turn during their hug.
"I'm glad you made that choice, last year." He whispers in his ear.
Donghyuck's eyes shine with unshed tears and he nods as they part.
Jisung hugs him next, a hug tighter than anyone else's, "I know we said we were gonna do paper rock scissors, but I really want you to be my best man."
Donghyuck chokes up, "I wouldn't want to have it any other way." He replies.
"Come back to us soon."
Chenle is last, hugging Donghyuck after his fiancé.
"If you don't come to us, we'll go to you. Don't doubt that, I learned from my mistakes."
Donghyuck nods, and they separate.
"Make sure Jeno's okay." He says to the group, but looks straight at Jaemin, who nods in response.
"Now go! How much more time is left until your boarding?" Chenle asks.
He moves to check his phone when he remembers what he was going to do before his friends surprised him.
"I should still have some time left, but that's not important right now. My phone's dead, I haven't been able to talk to Mark." He worries.
"That's fine! Here, use my phone." Jisung offers, handing him his phone.
Donghyuck is about to accept when he remembers.
"I... don't have his number memorized."
"Does anyone have a portable charger? Where's your charger at, Hyuckie?" Renjun asks.
"It's at the very bottom of my suitcase, under all my stuff... I wouldn't be able to get it and make it to boarding on time."
"Why don't you use one of our phones and message him through Instagram?" Chenle suggests.
"You want him to confess his everlasting love through... Instagram?..." Renjun points out.
Chenle laughs, "Oh... Right... Maybe not."
"I guess you'll just have to wait until you see him, Donghyuck hyung." Jisung says.
He nods and accepts the fact that he has no other choice.
"Okay, I have to go now, they'll be boarding soon. I love you guys." Donghyuck waves his friends goodbye.
He walks away to a series of 'byes,' 'take cares,' and 'come back soons.'
He boards the plane with a sigh.
No phone for seven hours.
He hopes Mark is okay.
Mark is absolutely not okay. He keeps searching up flight plans to New York, even though he knows it's for the best if he doesn't go.
The collaboration that ruined his Christmas was fixed, with the help of all the three companies that came. It was lucky for him they chose to base their meetings in Vancouver and not in Shanghai or Seoul.
But at this time, the collaboration was the last thing on his mind. All he could think about was Haechan and the decision he would make. He hadn't heard back from the younger boy since their last phone call and he was starting to worry.
He can't even talk to Lucas about it because the older boy was on a flight back home.
With a sigh, he gathers his things and prepares to leave his office. He's the last one there, of course. This wasn't exactly how he was planning on spending his Christmas Eve.
His apartment door shuts with a click. On a normal day, he'd simply knock out as soon as he touched his bed, but he was too nervous for that today.
One good thing about having so much to do was that it always kept him busy from having to worry about negative things. Now that the collaboration problem had been solved, there was nothing else for him to distract himself with.
All he had left to do was think about the situation at hand and all the different ways it could go.
Jaemin thinks of Donghyuck's last words to him.
"Make sure Jeno's okay, take good care of him." He had said it to the group, but he knew those words were meant for him.
Jaemin laughs and shakes his head.
"That bastard, of course he knew."
Jaemin had planned on majoring in engineering, once. He only got through some of the entry level courses when he decided to switch majors, but it was enough. In one of those classes, he met Jeno. They were self-proclaimed seat mates. And by self-proclaimed, he meant that they never spoke to each other but always sat next to each other.
Jaemin never told anyone, but he had a small crush on Jeno at the time. He was, without a doubt, the best-looking guy in their class but he carried himself like he didn't know.
On one day, he got to class late, having overslept through his alarm. By the time he got to class, his designated seat was taken. He was beyond disappointed; it was Thursday and he only had this class twice a week. This meant that he couldn't see his Civ Hottie™ for another four days, having missed his chance today.
Class ended and he was packing up his things dejectedly when Jeno approached him.
"Sorry, I tried to save your seat, but some people just don't care." He had said.
Jaemin was surprised he had spoken to him, but he wasn't about to let this opportunity pass him by. He thanked all the Gods above him for this chance.
After this, the two became fast friends, finally having conversations before and after class. They exchanged numbers and texted all the time, and Jaemin found him falling for the boy.
From what he could tell, Jeno was single. He wasn't sure whether Jeno swung that way or not, so he had a covert operation to try to find out without being too obvious or invasive. He didn't want to make a fool of himself.
Jeno invited him to lunch and he decided that he'd use this as an opportunity to find out. Little did he know Jeno planned this lunch in order to introduce him to his best friend, Donghyuck.
Jaemin found out two things that day; first, Jeno liked boys, and second, but most importantly, his heart was taken by someone else.
He saw how happy Jeno looked with Donghyuck and the more Jaemin got to know him, the more he understood why. Donghyuck was a warm soul, he oozed of happiness. These two were in love, it was only a matter of time until they got together, he thought. He knew he didn't stand a chance between the two childhood best friends and decided to root for their happiness instead.
So he swallowed his feelings and promised to never tell a soul. He thought he had done a good job at it, too.
But he supposes that, if anyone would have discovered his feelings for Jeno, it'd be Donghyuck.
It takes one to know one.
With that thought, he makes his way to Jeno's apartment. He doesn't bother with knocking, he's been here often enough to know the code, and Jeno never minded.
Jaemin finds him in his bedroom floor, crying.
His heart breaks as he kneels down and holds Jeno in his arms.
"I'm here for you." He whispers as he pats his back.
Jaemin manages to lead the boy to his bed, willing his tears to stop.
He holds Jeno's hand as he waits for him to fall asleep. There's not much he can do for him now.
Once he thinks Jeno's asleep, he goes to release his hand, but is stopped.
"Can you stay with me?" Jeno pleads, voice weak from crying.
Jaemin's eyes soften.
"Of course."
Jeno pulls the cover next to him and Jaemin gets in. Jaemin's arms circle Jeno and he pulls the boy in close. He feels as Jeno's shoulders shake and he feels the tears as they land on his arm. Jaemin rubs circles on his back until there's nothing left but the faint sound of slow breathing and two heartbeats, one beating faster than the other.
Donghyuck's plane touches down and he has half a mind to run straight to Mark's, luggage be damned. At the fear of being mistaken for a terrorist, he changes his mind.
He spent the last seven hours thinking about Mark. He felt terrible for not having been able to tell him he was coming and being radio silent. He can only imagine the things Mark could be thinking.
But it's okay, I'll spend the rest of my life getting him to forgive me if
I have to!
He had to convince himself a few times that it really would be too ridiculous to DM him on Instagram.
After getting his luggage he hauls ass to the next available taxi, giving him directions to Mark's apartment.
I'll kill him if he's still at work right now.
Right now being 11PM on Christmas Eve.
He runs up the steps to Mark's apartment complex, smashing the elevator button.
If this were a movie, he'd run up the stairs. But Mark lives in the penthouse suite and he'd rather not die before he has the chance to tell the boy how much he loves him.
He rides the elevator up and hears as the doors separate with a ding.
He runs to Mark's door and stops.
Should
I just go in? Should
I knock? What if
I go in and he's so surprised he falls and hits his head? What if he gets amnesia and forgets about me and
I have to get him to fall in love with me all over again?
Okay now he was just being dramatic.
He knocks on the door with urgency, deciding that he could, realistically, get Mark to fall in love with him again if he got amnesia, but that it would take time away from their future that they could use on better things.
He hears shuffling on the other side of the door and holds his breath.
The door unlocks with a click and opens to reveal Mark, still dressed in his work clothes.
He attacks him by wrapping his arms around his neck in a hug. They walk backwards and are caught off balance, falling to the floor.
Donghyuck gasps and looks down, having landed on top of Mark.
"Oh my god is your head okay? Do you still remember me?"
Mark furrows his eyebrows and looks up at him strangely, arms still around his waist.
"How could I forget you?" Mark answers, and Donghyuck smiles at him, leaning down give him a kiss.
He has a lot he has to say, a lot he needs to explain. He planned nonstop what he was going to tell Mark when he first saw him, but right now, none of that mattered. The only thing he could concern himself with as of the moment, was kissing Mark.
He felt Mark's hands behind to reach under his shirt and felt hot, burning, want coursing through him. But he knew Mark deserved an explanation, he knew there were probably a ton of questions he wanted answered.
So, with one last heavy kiss, he separated himself from Mark.
"Let's talk first, we can do that after." He said but leaned down to kiss Mark's neck anyway.
He nodded and the two stood up, with Mark leading them to the living room.
"I'm sorry I wasn't able to call you. I wanted to call before I got on the plane, but I didn't realize my phone was dead and my charger was all—"
"It's okay, Haechan-ah, you don't have to explain. I told you it was fine to take your time." He saw the older boy give him a smile.
"Really Mark, you can't be lying for my sake like this. I know you wanted me to call you back as soon as possible."
Mark laughed; he was caught.
"It's hard being understanding, I don't know how you do it."
Donghyuck smiles at him.
"I love you." He confesses. Mark's eyes widen as if he was caught off guard.
"I love you too, Haechan."
"I'm in love with you. That's what I told Jeno. I told him I'll always love him; I've known him too long not to. But it's a different type of love, now. You're the one I want to be with, you have been since we got together. I want you to know that I would've never gotten with you just to leave you the moment Jeno decided he wanted me; I'd never do that to you." He explains, holding Mark's hand.
"I know that, I just didn't know how to compete with the years of affection there was between the two of you."
"You idiot, there
is
no competition. Anything Jeno and I could've had ended the moment I left for Vancouver. I just needed time to move on."
"Plus, I came to realize I really like summer showers, they're refreshing, don't you think? I still need to warm up a bit to the winter storms though..." He concludes.
"I understood none of that." But Mark nods anyway.
"Oh! one more thing!" Donghyuck exclaims.
"Hmm?"
"Merry Christmas! Move in with me!"
Present
"I'm not sure how much detergent and fabric softener I have left, but since we have twice the amount of clothes now, I'll go ahead and get some."
He led the way through the aisles and let Mark follow him, pushing the cart full of groceries. He adds the items to the cart and looks at everything they've gotten.
"I think that's it, no? We have enough food to last us a while and I don't think we're missing anything, are we? Can you think of anything?"
Mark thought around but nothing really came to mind, well there was one thing.
"Condoms?" He joked.
"You're right, how could I forget?" Donghyuck answered him, serious, moving to the isle he presumed the condoms were.
〰️
It was almost summer now, Donghyuck was doing a finishing round of cleaning.
"Babe, you've cleaned that spot three times now." Mark sighs.
"I'm telling you; your friends aren't going to go looking for dust under the bookshelf."
Donghyuck laughed and stopped cleaning.
"You never know." He defended.
The doorbell rang and he knew the time had come. He gave one last precursory glance around and then walked to the door, letting his friends in.
Everyone had made the arrangements necessary to be able to come visit them in Vancouver, they said it wasn't fair that Donghyuck was the one that had to go down all the time, even if it made more sense.
"Happy housewarming!" Renjun greeted, and everyone made their round of hugs.
They decided to call it a house warming because it felt like too big of an event to just call a hang out.
Of course when he says everyone made arrangements to come, he means everyone. Jeno hugs him last.
A few months had passed since that day before Christmas, it was too soon to tell, but he hoped everything was alright.
Mark gives the group a tour of the apartment and the group proceeds to spend the afternoon drinking and catching up.
Jaemin was asking Chenle if he could sue his complex for kicking him out to which Chenle replied that he had clearly violated his contract and deserved what he got.
Jisung is in the middle of telling the story of the bridezilla he met while getting fitted for his tux when Jeno asks if he can go out to the balcony for a smoke.
Donghyuck sees the way Jaemin's eyes follow him through the room and smiles. He decided that this is something he can do.
He pats Mark on the knee to get his attention and then points his head towards the balcony, and Mark nods.
He follows Jeno to the balcony and closes the glass door behind him.
"Ah, the fated conversation of awkward reconciliation." Jeno says, mocking philosophy and waving his fingers with the lit cigarette.
"Shut up, dumbass." He laughs.
They're going to be just fine.
"You know, Jaemin can't be your rebound." He states, seriously.
Jeno winces.
"So you noticed?'
"Noticed? I knew from the beginning." He boasts. He doesn't consider himself to be Jeno's longest friend for nothing.
"We've been spending a lot of time together, recently." He mentions.
It makes sense, Jaemin and Jeno were chosen to be Chenle's groomsmen while Renjun and Donghyuck were Jisung's.
"But, even before that, no?" Donghyuck guesses.
Jeno looks at him, then nods.
"He helped me out a lot, before, after..."
He doesn't have to finish his sentence, Donghyuck understands.
"You have feelings for him?" He asks, curious.
"I think I'm scared to." Jeno answers, honest.
"I can't go through this again."
Donghyuck sighs, he felt like this too, once.
"If you continue like this, you'll never stop feeling like that."
Jeno is silent.
"Jaemin... He's different from me. After all that time, he never left you."
"But Jaemin didn't have feelings for me back then, he was just being my friend." Jeno looks down.
"You can't be serious right now."
He looks up, confused.
"Freshman year? Intro to to Civ?" Donghyuck lists.
"What are you talking about?"
"Wow you really are a dumbass." He gives Jeno a hard pat on the back, a slap almost.
"Well,
I
won't spell it out for you. By the way, Jaemin got kicked out of his apartment. You still have that extra room, right?" And leaves the balcony, having decided he did enough and if Jeno isn't truly as helpless as he looks, he'll be able to figure it out himself.
〰️
Jisung and Chenle's fated wedding finally arrives. The couple has just finished exchanging rings.
Mark watches from the audience as his boyfriend tries his best not to tear up. He isn't the only one, Jaemin looks like he's a second away from wasting the hours spent on his makeup. Mark watches as Jeno reaches for his hand.
He looks around at the happy faces and the beautiful venue and decides that maybe he should have one of these, too.
〰️
Donghyuck is about ten seconds from killing himself, he got stuck with the long, boring traffic case no one wanted. Sometimes he considers transferring to the homicide department so that, at least, his workload would be more interesting.
But then he remembers that longer hours are common for them and decides that maybe boring is for the best.
There's a knock at his door and he says, "Come in." without looking up.
"You look so hot when you're all engrossed in your work, Haechan." At this, he finally looks up.
"Mark!" He exclaims, happy to have something more interesting to focus on.
"Brought you lunch." He explains, lifting the bag of takeout.
"And work?"
"Finished early."
"What a nice turn of events." Donghyuck admits.
The two begin to eat, comfortable in each other's presence.
〰️
Jaemin is running out of time. Due to unforeseen developments, he has been unfairly kicked out of his apartment. You'd think they'd be more thankful to someone who could possibly find the cure to cancer. This was so much more fun than engineering, he thinks.
He's at Jeno's, on his laptop looking for single apartments available near his workplace, unable to find anything.
"HHGGGGGGGGGGNNNN" He complains, grumbling.
"Okay, let's calm down you gremlin." Jeno mocks, Jaemin ignores him.
"You wouldn't be like this if you stopped taking work home with you like normal people." Jaemin ignores him again, scrolling through apartments.
"Why don't you live with me?" Jeno asks, and Jaemin can no longer ignore him, he looks up.
"Huh?"
He'd be lying if he hadn't thought about it before. It was convenient that Jeno had an extra room but... It was never meant to be an extra room; it was supposed to be Donghyuck's. Jaemin couldn't see himself filling up that space.
"You said you couldn't find any single apartments, right?"
Jaemin nodded.
"But I don—"
"My lease is ending soon, and I don't think I'll be renewing it. Let's look for a double together, it should be easier." He interrupts.
Jaemin stares at Jeno, his hand scratching his neck.
He's
nervous.
Jaemin notices.
He smiles, "I call the bigger room!"
〰️
Renjun sighed, taking in the beautiful view of Shanghai. A lot of time had passed since he had last visited his family.
He had gone in to the city to renew some documents for his parents and was finally free to enjoy the rest of his day. It was a pretty hot day in the summer, so he decided to go to a coffee shop and get himself an iced americano.
He's about to enter when his phone rings, notifying him of an incoming call, it's Donghyuck. In the second it takes him to look at his phone, he misses the person walking to leave the coffee shop, and they bump into each other.
The other's coffee spills all over Renjun, leaving him soaked in what he thinks is a latte.
"I'm so sorry!" The man says and Renjun looks up at him, an understatement at how tall the man is.
"Here, let me help you clean up." The tall, tan, boy offers. His phone is still ringing.
"Aren't you going to pick that up?" The man asks, and Renjun notices he has big ears. It's kind of cute, actually.
"No, I don't think I will." And he silences his phone.
〰️Mark and Donghyuck walk through the park, hand in hand. It's the same one they went to when they first met, when Mark was trying to woo Donghyuck.
Donghyuck had suggested they come here on the weekend, saying he only ever visited when the leaves on the trees were already dying.
It was definitely a different sight now, trees looking a luscious green and swaying in the summer breeze.
"Where do you want to set up?" Mark asked, holding the picnic basket with his free hand.
"Hmmm, anywhere with shade would be nice. Like there." He says, pointing to an empty piece of grass.
They're about to set up when rain begins to pour down.
"I thought you said the weather was clear for today!" Mark yells, over the rain.
"That's what it said!" They look at each other, soaked, and laugh.
"Haechan-ah,"
"Yes?"
"Will you marry me?" Mark asks, taking out a ring from his pocket.
"Yes!"
It's then when he realizes just how much he loves summer showers.
epilogue
it was an unspecified year in an unspecified country.
two boys ran in a field of tall grass, hand in hand. the taller, with blue hair, the shorter with red.
there weren’t any other kids in the village their age, so
they only had each other and were forced to be friends. not that it mattered; they would have chosen each other anyway.
do not take this to mean that they were perfect, they were not, nothing in life is. they fought, red would call blue selfish and blue would, in return, call red childish.
the two would then go their own separate ways, only to reunite a short while later, whispering words of regret and forgiveness.
and this is how they grew up. as they got older, their world expanded. they discovered there was more to the world than their village.
but it was too late, you see, their world wasn’t the only
thing that had expanded for the two boys, now men. feelings that started out as a small sapling had blossomed into beautiful flowers.
the two men held hands as they ran through the tall grass once again, one tumbling down and bringing the other with him. blue intertwined his hand with red’s and leaned down, over, to kiss him.
they were in love, and perhaps, had always been. perhaps, they were always meant to be.
but they weren’t born in a world that would make things easy for them.
blue had responsibilities, there were things that were expected of him. his family had power and they needed him to continue his line.
they arranged his union with a woman from another village and he had no say in the matter.
red was heartbroken, but he knew there were things in life that he couldn’t control, and this was one of them.
the night before blue’s union, he snuck out and met red for a rendezvous in the tall grass they had spent much of their youth in.
“i refuse to abandon you.” he said.
“you don’t have a choice.” red replied.
“we can run away. we can go far from here, the two of us, away from everyone who is trying to tell us what to do.” blue whispered, stars in his eyes.
red knew he was a lost cause; he’d always give in to him.
and so, they grabbed their things, ran away, and never looked back.
they ran and ran, until they themselves no longer knew the way back. until they were certain they were safe.
they settle down in a small town by a shore, no one questions them, and they’re finally allowed to be happy.
blue works in the docks with the fishermen, red works in a farm with the animals.
it’s no easy feat for either of them, and while many would have complained, the two were just happy they were able to stay together.
the farmer’s son helps red out in the field. he’s older than red but younger than blue, with hair as white as snow.
white sees the way red shines in the sun and can’t help but fall in love.
but red’s a taken man, and white knows this.
still, it never hurt to try.
so, one day, he confesses.
“i have someone i’m very much in love with, and i don’t see that changing any time soon.” red answered, curtly.
white nodded, he understood. from what red had told him before, these two had grown up together. had shared almost all their life together. it makes sense that a stranger would not be able to shake what they have.
“in our next life… i hope i get to meet you first.” white declares.
red laughs at white, and nods, not realizing just how serious white is.
but white is respectful, he doesn’t try to sway red again and moves on, but never forgets his first love and his promise.
red and blue live happily in bliss for months, there is no way to have a proper union between two men but that doesn’t matter to them. they know with who their heart lies.
the day everything changes begins like any other day. neither man would have guessed what was about to come.
it happens as red is making his way to their home, the ghosts of their past had caught up to them.
he sees the family of the woman blue was supposed to marry make their way towards the docks, weapons in hands.
he knows what they’re here for, and he can’t let it happen. he looks towards the docks and then back to the family. it’s an easy decision to make.
he runs in front of them and stretches his arms out.
they recognize him, they know what he did, they know his sin.
red lets them take their anger out on him. he takes it and he takes it, happy it was him who they saw first.
after they leave, satisfied with what they’d accomplished, red lays there. on the road next to their home.
he can tell by the sky that blue should be getting there any minute now, but he can tell by his breaths that he may not even have that much time left.
as if he could feel it, blue chose to make his way home earlier than usual.
when he finally sees red, lying there, he feels his heart drop.
he runs the rest of the distance to the love of his life, begging to every god in existence.
“my love… you’re early…” red says.
there is too much blood. he doesn’t know how to fix this. he doesn’t know how to stop the pain.
“shhh don’t speak, i’ll take you to the doctor.” blue begged, holding red’s hand.
but red could no longer feel it. he didn’t even know he was being held.
“there is no need, my love. i’m afraid it’s too late for me.”
“who did this?” blue exclaims.
“your betrothed’s family… they were walking towards the docks, i had to stop them. i hope you can forgive me.” red whispered, not much energy left.
“there is nothing to forgive, my sun. you are not the one that should beg for my forgiveness.”
red smiled, he could no longer see blue, so he knew it was almost time.
“i’m afraid… i will have to go first…”
blue cries, no longer able to hold it in.
“in our next life, i promise i will find you and i will love you again. i promise i’ll never make you suffer because of me again.” blue swears.
“i will go to you first… i think it’s only fair…” and those are the last words that red ever speaks.
blue’s cries turn into sobs as the world turns colorless. nothing has meaning for him any longer.
he hugs red one last time and promises to meet him soon.
“i have something to do, first.”
he buries red next to their home, where some tall grass had just begun to grow, and makes his way back to the place he said he’d never return.
he finds the murderers and commits justice on his own.
he completed what he sought out to do and now has nothing left to live for. he walks and walks, until he nears the sea.
he is tired. but his mind is made up, there is nothing left for him now.
he enters the water, ready to see his beloved once again.
“don’t do this.” the wind pleas.
he stops walking. was this something he just imagined?
“why should i?” he calls out, to one.
but no one answers,
“this isn’t what i wanted for you.” the wind calls.
he stands still, listening.
“what is it that you wanted for me? how am i supposed to continue living, without you?” he asks.
because he knows who he’s talking to. he knows his beloved is borrowing the voice of the wind to talk to him. if there were anyone capable, it would be him. and he'd know his voice anywhere.
“i wanted you to live a long life, my love. we may no longer be physically together, but you will always have a part of me. as long as you are alive, i will always be with you. so please, live. it would hurt me too much to see you go this way.”
blue looks down, tears fogging his vision, and he walks back to the shore. he knew he would always give in to him.
and so blue makes his way back to the village where he and red spent their happiest moments. he considered moving, but he did not want to leave his beloved alone.
the wind never called to him again, but he spent the rest of his days there, watching the grass grow taller.
it was a hard life, but it was made easier by the presence he felt accompanying him and the love he had in his heart.
he lives a long life, just as red wanted, and is finally able to meet the love of his life once again.
“my love! i’ve missed you so much!” red exclaims, running towards him.
he opens his arms and feels the life come back to him.
“i’m sorry i made you wait long, my sun.” but red shook his head, this was exactly what he wanted.
red reaches for blue’s hand.
“come on, we must go.” he says.
“where are we going?” blue asks, but willing to follow him anywhere.
“to our new beginning.” he explains.
it is enough for him. as long as he has red by his side, anything is enough for him.
the two boys walk, hand in hand, towards the shining light.
Mark wakes from his dream, a bit dazed and confused, he looks down and sees Haechan wrapped in his arms.
He kisses his fiancé on the forehead, dream long forgotten. The sunlight peeks through their window and catches on the younger’s hair, making it almost look red. Mark smiles and snuggles into Haechan, falling back asleep.