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Hanging out with your best friend Torey is the highlight of your day. In fact, that's an understatement. Being with him is the only good part of your day. That's not to say that life is awful; it's just boring. Classes are boring, your other friends seem weird and uninterested in you, and things like TV and music don't grab your attention like they used to. Torey, on the other hand, never fails to cheer you up. Somehow, he always seem to know how to make you laugh. Talking with him is more entertaining than anyone else could understand. Actually, the reason why most people don't understand your friendship is because it's founded on insults. You're crossed that line where you stop giving a fuck and start calling each other names like "assplanet" and "little buttface baby." You're like children.After your last class, you go straight from campus to his place--fuck even stopping by home--and walk right in the door. You practically live there now. You drop your bag on the floor and meet Torey on the couch."Oh, look, it's the town grump," he says, and you chuckle. "Hello to you too," you say, and hug him. The TV is tuned to a show about people buying houses, but he doesn't look like he's really watching it. "Let me guess--they're gonna pick the one with the shittiest yard.""Actually, they all have pretty decent yards," he says. "Grump."You chuckle again. "Switch it to something interesting, why don't you? Like MMA or some shit.""There are over a thousand channels and I already know you're not gonna find any of them interesting." He turns off the TV. "There, how about that? Let's see you insult the house buyers now."Now you're full-on laughing. "I can still insult them when I can't see them. I do that with literally everyone I know except you.""So you're telling me I'm the only person you tolerate, out of seven and a half billion humans on this earth? Actually, I'm not surprised. Careful there, if you laugh any harder you're gonna rupture something.""Okay, mother hen.""Dude, I'm serious. I knew a guy--""No, you didn't.""--who knew a guy who laughed so hard he tore his entire--""Shut up. I didn't come here to vomit." You clamp a hand over his mouth. He mock-glares at you, pretending to be mad, and goes, "Mmmfff." You're certain he's calling you a grump for the third time today."Don't call me a grump, you grump." You uncover his mouth."You're the grump.""And you're the fucking queen of Switzerland.""They don't have a queen.""You never shut up, do you? You're like that one annoying parrot at the pet store. 'Polly wanna cracker, Polly wanna cracker.' That's what you sound like right now." This remark makes him laugh, because there actually is an annoying parrot at the local pet store, and you both can hear it from three stores away when you get groceries."Weh, weh, that's what you sound like right now," he mocks in a high, nasally tone. "Smoke some weed or something, grump. Maybe it'll cheer you up, considering nothing else does, except me.""You know what? Just shut up." You grab his face and kiss him. Now you're definitely gonna win this one."Wow, you think that'll shut me up?""It did for about eight seconds. I win.""This isn't over, grump." He pins you down on the couch and kisses you hard. When he finally pulls away, he smirks."I believe that makes it a tie.""You really feel the need to keep score?""Hey, you started it." His smirk softens into a real smile. "Also, about the guy who tore his--well, what makes you think it was gonna be gross? I was probably gonna say he tore his pants or something.""Because you're a man, and men are gross by default.""Yeah, but I'm less gross than all the other three billion or so men on this earth. You said so." He looks smug now."No, I only said I tolerate you better.""You didn't say that. I said that." And he's smirking again."Shut up," you say, and kiss him again.