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it's not always easy being a queer girl in a monster's body. not that is isn't without it's perks. there's a comfort to her new body though, a power and strength and intimidation factor that, while moot in the ring with another beastie, sometimes Sonnie wishes she could just stick to the sleek, powerful form that Wes and Ivrina gave her. no one would fuck with her then. only downside? it scares the potential hook ups away. and despite everything, Sonnie's still a girl with needs. the warmth of another body next to hers. the salty taste of skin. hot, heavy breaths mingling with hers. fingers in her hair, fingers between her legs, fingers any and every where sensitive. the sweet satisfaction of bringing a lover to climax; the sweet satisfaction of a lover bringing her to climax. listening to another heart beating, racing during the act, slowing during the aftermath. the bliss of that after, the quiet intimacy of those moments as pleasure fades into sleepy contentment. those are some of the things she misses the most. this new body has taste buds at least, so while she has to deal with a lot of copper aftertaste, she can wash it down with fruits and other yummy treats. and Wes and Ivrina keep her from drowning too far down in melancholy. they're great mates. little too hung up on the superficial though. little too concerned that the cover story isn't completely a cover story. she loves them, but she could do without how worried and protective they get. it's a fine balance between endearing and overwhelming, and they still cross over into the latter too often for Sonnie's comfort. she's not a victim. she's a fighter. she's fucking good at it, too. it's not always easy being a queer monster in a damaged girl's body. oh, sure, there's perks still having her old body around, roughed up as it is. she doesn't attract quite so much attention when she goes out for air, for food, for a little living outside of the fight life. but she feels the looks, the awkward glances before quickly turning away, afraid to stare. as bad as Wes and Ivrina can get, least they know she's okay - she's okay - everyone else sees her and they don't see her, they see the scars. they see a sordid history their nosy minds are quick to fill in the blanks of. and the obvious downside to that is, potential partners are skittish, squeamish, often as jittery with her old body as they would be with the monster she was reborn as. Sonnie supposes it's just the price to pay. being alive and being alone is better than being dead, left on the streets like trash. and she is not trash. proves that to all the onlookers every night, every time she steps into that circle, the body that is now her shell sitting lifeless while she fights for her life, high on adrenaline and the thrill of violence and victory. she's not just a fighter, she's a winner. eventually, even a damaged monster girl's gotta win at love, right?