Work Text
“Jonathan you can’t sit on my lap while I’m driving!,” Bobby cried. “But you’re just so delicious! I’m just in love with this…,” Jonathan protested, making the other guys laugh. “It feels like a good time for a intro,” Antoni piped in from the back, his trademark wide smile alight with wonder. “Yassss okay, oh my god girls YUM, what even is this?,” Jonathan squealed excitedly. “Tell us we are dying back here!,” Karamo protested. “Okay our goddess divine is Jon Snow, he is 29, lives in Winterfell, Vermont, could you just die? His best friend’s wife, Ella signed him up. Oh my god she is just too cute she made us a video!” “Hello Fab Five! I’m nominating our best friend Jon. He is always there for me and my husband and our family, including our little son Ned who thinks his Uncle Jon is god’s personal gift to him. His mentor and surrogate father-slash-boss passed away recently and Jon has taken over the business and between that and helping out in our little community (My husband Robb is the mayor and -well anyone I’ll tell you all that later) he never finds time for himself. It’s been a while since his last relationship and as good and smart and handsome as he is, he never dates anyone who treats him well. I think it’s his confidence, and no matter what I say it doesn’t make a bit of difference. So what do you say Fab Five? Can you show our hero how special he is?” “Okay well we are keeping her forever,” Karamo stated definitively. “What a sweet, sweet girl, she clearly cares about him so much and really worries for him…,” Antoni surmised. “He seems to be using all of his positivity and energy taking care of other people, and what we need him to do is really take care of himself,” Bobby noted. “YAAAASSS, and failing that we need him to take. Care. Of. Me. I mean Daddy,” Jonathan said and finally tilted the screen so the other guys could see him. After they resuscitated Tan everything was fine…
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
After scouting locations, production had suggested that they begin at Robb and Ella’s home. So, on Monday morning, Robb and Jon were both home instead of at work, and Arya had skipped class for the occasion as well. “Ella I really can’t believe you did this,” Jon grumbled for the seventieth time, pointedly ignoring the camera. “Dude it’s going to be fine,” Robb promised, then grinned, “No…no wait, it’s going to be fabulous!” Arya rolled her eyes at Ella who shook her head at her husband, turning to one of the PAs and making a cut motion. “You know I only did this because you kind of mean the world to me, right?” Ella asked Jon though. Jon sighed and nodded, “Yeah… I know,” then looked at Ned and asked, “What do you think buddy?” Ned took Jon’s hands in his little palms and said, “I think you’re FIERCE!” They all chuckled and Jon visibly relaxed as he cut up some more fruit for Ned to eat. “JON SNOW WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP AND YOUR PANTS OFFFFF!” they heard someone shout. “Ohmygodohmygod,” Arya squealed and ran to the front door. Her and Ella had binge-watched the entire first season the weekend it came out and had been obsessed ever since. Arya was a huge fan of Antoni while Ella just wanted to curl up in bed with Jonathan and play with his hair and tell him how pretty he is. “FIERCENESS WHO ARE YOU?,” Karamo shouted as he picked up Arya in a hug. “Ellabell darling get your gorgeousness over here right now,” Jonathan demanded. Ella ran over to him in the foyer and they hugged like old friends. “I am obsessed with you,” they confessed at the same time. “Your home is lovely Ella,” Bobby said as he kissed her hand and made her blush. “I love this crown moulding in here.” “It’s original,” Ella told him, her fingertips touching the historic walls, “This house has been in Robb’s family since the 1800s.” “But it’s never looked so good until you moved in,” Robb told her sweetly as he joined them in the foyer. He was wearing a dark blue sweater and a pair of slim khakis, and he looked large and gorgeous as he wrapped his arms around Ella’s neck and pulled her against his back. All five of the men went silent as he came in, and it was entirely possible that Tan was even blushing. Karamo had to close Antoni’s mouth from his gawking. “So tell us Ellabell, are you just surrounded by beautiful men all the time?,” Karamo asked her. “It’s a really tough life,” she said with a smile, kissing Robb’s cheek before she stepped forward to show Bobby something. Jonathan took the opportunity and cozied up to Robb. He draped one arm around him and put the other on his stomach feeling the muscles underneath his sweater and making Robb blush adorably. “So you’re the mayor of this little parish,” Jonathan asked with a faux-southern accent. Even though they were in New England, it worked. “That’s right,” Robb said with a chuckle, not quite sure where to look, but not hating the attention either. “Oh Daddy,” Jonathan squealed. “Now where is our man?,” Bobby asked. “I’ve got me my man,” Jonathan said and Ella winked at Robb. “Ned can you please bring Uncle Jon in here?,” Ella called sweetly. Jon walked in, dressed in his trademark tight black jeans and black t shirt, his hair up in a half-bun, with Robb and Ella’s three year old son Ned balancing happily on his shoulders. “Mothermarysaveme,” Bobby said as though he might really lose it this time. *** “Okay so tell us about you…,” Karamo said in the SUV on the way over to Jon’s apartment. “Not much to tell really,” Jon grumbled in his normal gravely voice. He had never liked speaking about himself, and doing so on camera now felt even odder. “You seem…like maybe you aren’t totally into this, which I get,” Antoni said kindly, “So I guess what I would ask is…why do you think Ella signed you up for this?” “El… just… wants me to be happy and…she doesn’t think that I am,” Jon admitted finally. “Are you?,” Karamo asked. “Like…what do you not have that you think she thinks would make you happy?” “I dunno…like her and Robb have been together since high school and they’ve got Ned now and this whole family and….,” Jon trailed off. “Would you ever want that? Wife, kids….husband and kids maybe?,” Antoni joked and earned the first smile from Jon. “I never thought I would ya know? Not much of a cuddly guy….but I dunno, once Ned was born it was like….my center of gravity changed, ya know? I mean I’m not going to steal him or anything but…that kid has my heart…I think I wouldn’t mind having one of my own some day…” “Every woman’s uterus in America just exploded, and that’s the truth,” Karamo said, “But is there anybody—“ “Nah, nah man…I’m a lone wolf as they say,” Jon evaded. “Not anymore,” Antoni said and clapped him on the back. “It seems like maybe Ella was onto something…” Jon sighed, “Yeah, she always is… it’s annoying really.” Antoni and Karamo laughed. Karamo concluded, “I get it man. We’re five gay dudes coming in with a lot of energy and a lot of ideas and its just a lot. We only want what’s best for you though, and we aren’t here to change you into something you aren’t or to get you walking in the Pride parade… we just want you to get to a point where someone asking you about yourself isn’t the scariest thing in the world. Okay? And if you don’t trust us yet, trust Ella. Something tells me the sweet gets really scary if someone harms her babies.” “You’re not wrong there,” Jon said with a small grin. *** “So tell us everything Mommy,” Jonathan said from the driver’s seat. They’d gotten to Jon’s house a few minutes early, and after a Britney Spears sing-a-long on the ride over, they’d parked and asked her about the reason they were all here. Ella smiled softly, “My granddaddy used to say they don’t make men the way they used too. Robb and Jon disproved that theory. From a very young age it was just obvious, they were good and decent and strong. They always took care of me, even when I was nothing but the best friend of Robb’s little sister. They always took care of everybody. Robb’s parents died when they were in college and Jon just…gave the kids everything he had. He’d pick them up from soccer practice and help them study for algebra. He’d hold Arya while she cried and threaten Sansa’s boyfriends and check for monsters under Rickon’s bed and…I don’t know…he just… carries people…he carries me…,” she shook her head and Tan took her hand, “My son Ned was born a few weeks early. Robb was traveling at the time - we had been told that if anything a first child would be late. Anyway there was a blizzard going on when I felt the first contractions and I didn’t know what to do… so I called Jon. He drove me twenty miles in white out conditions, telling me all the while what a good mother I was going to be and how he couldn’t wait to see his nephew grow up. He… he nearly got into a fight with an orderly when they wouldn’t get me a room right away, he held my hand in the delive-,” she paused and teared up. “I’m sorry…” “Well damn it girl you should be,” Jonathan wept and squeezed her hand. “He just… he’s home to me, to all of us. He started working with Joer Mormont in high school. His mother passed away when he was little and his father was never around except to pay the bills. Ned and Cat were really like his parents, and then they died. And then Joer was there and fostered him and nurtured him and raised him up as his heir. The cancer took the Old Bear after a really ugly battle a few months ago. He left Jon the company, which was so well deserved but…it’s understaffed and while Mormont was a great boss, some of the men he had under him aren’t like Jon and don’t like that he has taken over… I just… feel like everything in his life is so difficult. He keeps doing the right things and it doesn’t make things any easier and I guess that’s why I wanted you to come here: to make things easier.” “Well let me just say this. You, darling, are already doing that. Do you know how lucky he is to have you? Do you know how many people would love to hear those things about themselves? It feels like you are afraid that he doesn’t have anyone who loves him, who takes care of him but obviously that is not true because he. has. you,” Bobby said and they all nodded. “But yes, we can help,” Tan promised, then wondered, “Do you think he’ll wear colour?” At that Ella gave an impish smile, “You say that like I haven’t tried…” *** The gang all walked into Jon’s home. It was a couple miles away from the Stark’s and was a log cabin dating back to before the Civil War. It had been expanded upon over the years, and now it sat graciously on a large plot of land. Jon had never needed much space, and didn’t have visitors, so the guest rooms were bare. Much of the home was bare, actually, somewhat austere. A large all-white husky ambled over to Jon and then immediately abandoned him for Ella. She pet him and introduced him to everyone. Jonathan came over and stroked his fur, “Well I guess good hair runs in the family, tell us is your Daddy just the best Daddy?” Ghost’s tail thumped on the ground and everyone chuckled as the guys all spread out and started looking around. Jon shuffled uncomfortably as Antoni went into his kitchen. “Jonnnn,” he called. Ella smiled at Jon encouragingly and he walked over into the kitchen, “Yeah?” “You only have one pot,” Antoni said. Jon shrugged and nodded, “Yeah I mean… I don’t cook much.” Bobby opened his fridge to reveal a six pack of beer, a half-eaten casserole dish of lasagna, and a carton of eggs. “Was there an apocalypse in this little town that the news didn’t want us to know about?,” Antoni wondered, leaning in and picking out the lasagna. “Who made this?” “Umm Ella did,” Jon blushed. Antoni grabbed a fork and lifted up the plastic wrap and took a bite. He all but moaned as he chewed. “Ella is there rosemary in this?,” he called. “Yes! I’ll give you the recipe,” Ella called back. “You’re a goddess and I love you, never change,” Antoni told her and then turned back to Jon, “So you’ve never made anything like this.” Jon shook his head, “No I grill…that’s about the extent of it…” Antoni nodded, “Okay well that’s something but… what sorts of things do you like?,” Jon shifted uncomfortably and Antoni placed a hand on his forearm, “Oh my god that’s not a trick question!” Jon grinned sheepishly and Bobby said, “How about you show me the rest of your abode?” They walked through the large space and Jon showed him the pieces of furniture he’d made with Ned Stark back when he was in high school. “Beautiful craftsmanship,” Bobby nodded as he ran his hand over the bookshelf, “So this is definitely a keep. Anything else in this room you don’t want refurbished?” Jon shook his head and said, “No I mean, everything else in here, ‘cept Ghost of course can go…” As he said it though, his gaze fell to a large throw draped over the couch and he trailed off. “Is that something else special?,” Bobby wondered. This peaked Karamo and Jonathan’s interest and they went over and sat on the couch and pulled the blanket over them. “It’s so soft!,” Jonathan cried, “Like a little baby lamb in the sweetest little meadow you’ve ever seen.” Karamo had it wrapped around him completely and he said, “I have never been so comfortable in my entire life.” Just at that moment, Ella came back into the room with Tan, big piles of clothes in both their hands, and smiled, “There’s nothing like one of Sansa’s blankets.” All five guys, and all of America, caught the glare that Jon sent towards Ella. It was the glare that sailed a thousand ships. “Who… is… Sansa?,” Jonathan squealed. “Nobody,” Jon said gruffly. They all looked at him expectantly and he shrugged, scratching his beard, “Well she’s Robb’s younger sister.” “Is she as pretty as he is?,” Karamo asked. Jon blushed a deep scarlet. “Well I think I should take my leave,” Ella said brightly, making it very clear that her admission had not been by accident and that she regretted nothing, “See you soon everyone.” They all waved goodbye at her and the minute she closed the door, they turned back and urged, “So tell us about Sansa.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“So tell me what we’re doing on Friday,” Karamo said as they drove down the highway. “It’s a party…,” Jon started, and it appeared that he may be as evasive as when asked about himself, his likes, his dislikes, but he went on, “Kind of a mix of a relaunch, now that the company is under my control, and then potential client outreach, and a thank you to our investors. I know that sounds like a lot, but it’s a really tight knit community up here, so there’s a lot of overlap.” “That was…SO MANY WORDS!,” Bobby cried in joy. “Tell us more about this company and why it’s so important to you.” “Well um, Mormont hired me while I was still in high school… he had no need to or anything, but for some reason he really taught me the ropes, let me shadow him more than anything else you know, go to meetings with him, help him with the books, really um… brought me into the fold. He was… really there for me when the Starks died…” “I want to talk to you about that if you don’t mind,” Karamo cut in kindly. “Bobby told me that Ella said you were always really there for everyone after that…” Jon smiled a bit sadly, “Yeah well, she’s one to talk, I mean we both just kind of… neither of us really had the best parents, and the Starks always looked out for us, and the kids were like our siblings so it just kind of… felt natural I guess, to be there, helping out.” Jon didn’t tell them about the hours he spent with Arya in the Godswood or how Bran had presented him with a cape for Halloween one year because Rickon had called him a superhero. He didn’t tell them about the night that he found Robb passed out in a bar, overwhelmed with the pressure of sudden fatherhood, or the nights he sat up waiting for Sansa to come home from one date or another. He didn’t tell them that when he got the call about the Starks he felt a bigger hole in his heart than he’d ever felt, or that it had only been Ella saying They need us that had brought him out of it at all. He didn’t need to say any of it though, because it was written all over his face. “I know they may not have been biologically your parents,” Bobby said, “But to me it sounds like they were parents to you nonetheless.” Jon nodded, “Yeah, as close to it as I ever had anyway. So I owed it to them to be there for the kids - and besides, I love them so it’s not like it was some-“ “Okay, what you’re doing right now is something I need you to stop,” Karamo demanded, “You seem to think that all these things you do for other people are just normal and they are not, believe me. You have to start understanding that all those things are what make you the wonderful person you are. You lost your parents and your first response was to be there for other people. THAT’S NOT NORMAL. That’s fucking amazing is what it is.” Jon chuckled lightly and shrugged, “If you say so.” “I want you to say so,” Karamo said and Jon nodded. If he had ever watched an episode of Queer Eye he’d know that such tacit compliance was not what Karamo was after. He’d been too afraid to watch though, so he didn’t expect it when Karamo said, “No I mean it… I want you to say it right now.” “Say what?,” he asked. “Say: I’m Jon Snow, and I’m fucking amazing,” Karamo ordered and Bobby nodded. “Uh… do I have to?,” Jon blushed. “Yes,” Karamo and Bobby said in tandem. Jon cleared his throat and shook his head, barely mumbling, “I’m Jon Snow and I’m fucking amazing.” “Louder,” Karamo demanded. “I’m Jon Snow and I’m fucking amazing!,” Jon repeated, his voice louder but his cheeks a deep scarlet. “Again!,” Karamo said with the hints of a smile. “I’M JON SNOW AND I’M FUCKING AMAZING!,” Jon shouted. “YAAAAAAAS,” Karamo cried, clapping his hands on the steering wheel. He turned to Jon with a small grin, “Now how do you feel, brother?” Jon’s surprised smile lit up his entire face, and he admitted with a tone of incredulity in his voice, “Fucking amazing, actually.” *** A couple of hours later, Jon had been delivered to a large warehouse in town that had been converted a few years back into an upscale market and restaurant. He had only been once or twice, when Ella had asked him to pick something up on his way over for dinner, and he had always found the space a little out of place in their snowy little town. No more out of place than Antoni was though, in his fur trimmed boots and designer knitwear. Even still, he had a way of ingratiating himself with people, and the staff was flittering about him, insisting on him trying their brand of different olive oils. So that was why the pair of them had a loaf of housemade bread - which really was delicious - in front of them as well as a few different dishes of olive oil and a freshly opened bottle of red wine. “So tell me a bit about this event on Friday,” Antoni requested, taking a thoughtful sip from his glass, “Is it catered?” “Yep,” Jon nodded, dipping a piece of bread in the olive oil with crushed red pepper, “Catered and a full bar.” “Okay,” Antoni said, “Sooo that tells me you don’t need to make anything for it, which is good because it sounds like it’s a lot of people.” “And giving them all food poisoning probably wouldn’t make them keen to invest anymore,” Jon joked before taking a sip of his wine. He had always preferred beer, but he had a weakness for good red wine. Which he blamed, along with most of his other weaknesses, on Ella. Antoni’s jaw dropped, “Did you just… jest?” Jon chuckled, and demurred defensively, “I’m not that broody.” Antoni deadpanned one of the cameras and monotoned, “Of course you’re not,” and then turned to Jon with a smile, “So let’s focus more on you. Yesterday you really couldn’t tell me what your favourite foods were, so I did a little recon and a little birdy told me that you love chicken parmesan, is that right?” Jon shook his head, “I’m beginning to think you should have that little birdy on your payroll. But yeah, Ella and Sansa use Cat’s old recipe so…” “And now,” Antoni smiled, holding up a small card which held Ella’s elegant handwriting on it, “So do you.” There was very little else to do except agree, so Jon nodded and the pair of them stood up, pushing their olive oil and bread out of the way. Keeping the wine glasses of course. Jon pulled his hair back and Antoni cooed, “Oh my god a top knot already, Jonathan is going to be so thrilled.” Jon chuckled and shook his head, not quite used to the attention the fab five were bestowing on him, but not quite as uncomfortable as he was with it yesterday either. He took the apron that Antoni handed him and pulled it on, rolling up his sleeves. They pulled out and measured all the ingredients and then Antoni said, “Alright now one of the under appreciated necessities to a good chicken parm is a good chicken cutlet. We want those babies flat, okay?,” he said, as he placed wax paper over them and handed Jon a hammer. “This is the only part of the process I actually know,” Jon admitted. It was one of the first times he had offered information without it being requested, and Antoni was far too good at his job to interrupt him, so he merely started beating the eggs with a fork and waited for Jon to continue. Jon started pounding the chicken with the hammer, “About a week after the Starks died, Ella made us all have dinner. Nobody wanted to,” he chuckled and shook his head, “She had six hammers, just waiting for us. We uh… went through the chicken pretty quickly. Thankfully she’d thought to buy extra.” “I know that is a really specific example, but that’s what I love about cooking, you know? It brings up memories we didn’t even know we had. Thank you for sharing that with me,” Antoni said and gestured to the chicken, “Keep going.” Jon hammered the chicken, the hard muscles of his arms flexing in his t shirt. Antoni fanned himself with his apron and mouthed oh my god to the camera. As they started settling into the process, Antoni went on, “You said Sansa makes this too?” Jon nodded, focusing on the task in front of him, “Yeah she’s a great cook, her mom taught her when she was really young and she took a lot of it on when her parents died.” “How old was she?,” Antoni asked. “Seventeen,” Jon shook his head, “You’d never have known it though,” he said as he started dipping a piece of chicken in the egg, and then moved on to coat it in the breadcrumb mixture they’d made, “She just took it all on, her and Robb. They lost their parents and then had to become parents. She was so patient with Arya, and always tucked Rickon in, she even took care of Robb, though he didn’t want to let anyone, she did. And me too. I don’t know where she found the grace to do it. She’s just…,” he said as he put the chicken on the baking sheet and sprayed it with a little olive oil, “One of the strongest people I’ve ever met.” Antoni stood there in silence until Jon raised his eyebrows at him, “Okay there’s two things that you have to know. The first, is that you already know how to cook. And the second, is that you are undeniably in love with Sansa Stark.” Jon blushed and shook his head, “What? No, I mean… I’ve just seen Ella do this a thousand times.” “You do realise you didn’t even try to deny the thing about Sansa,” Antoni noted. Jon was silent and Antoni said, “A really nice thing to do for the people we love is cook them a meal. It’s such a simple way of showing them that we care. And I bet it would be really special to her, if you made something that her Mom used to.” Jon demurred, “We’re just friends… she thinks of me like a brother.” “Maybe,” Antoni allowed, though he and all of America doubted it, “But it sounds like she’s pretty important to you. Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to let her know it.” Jon took a sip of his wine and then started on the next chicken cutlet, going through all of the steps. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about it. Since Sansa had moved back to town a few months ago, it was pretty much all he thought about. She’d always been a beauty, a kind one at that. But before her parents died she had been a popular, teenage girl, focused more on the next party or latest rumour than on her older brother’s perennially brooding best friend. And after her parents had died, she didn’t have time for love at all - only the temporary absolution that one trust fund boy or another who didn’t know or care about her parents could provide her with. She’d been spending every night with the kids, or Ella, him and Robb. And he’d known too much, to risk it. Because if she didn’t want him back, love him back, he might lose her. Neither one of them could afford to lose anyone else they loved. And when an opportunity had come for her to intern with a famous designer, he and Robb and Ella, all the kids, had urged her to take it. She had spent too long focused on everyone other than herself. So she’d left, two years and eight months ago. And she’d come back, four months and three weeks ago. She’d come back for Mormont’s funeral, they’d all thought. As Ella saw to the flower arrangements and he dealt with the lawyers, nobody quite noticed how many extra bags Sansa had brought with her. And when everyone went back to work on Monday, she’d started looking for houses in town, and it felt so normal and right for her to be at family dinner that it took until dessert for someone to ask why she was still there.
“What happened out there, in L.A.?,” he couldn’t help but ask as Ella and Robb went to tuck little Ned in.
Sansa took a small sip of her wine and wrapped her long auburn hair around her hand, holding it up and then letting it fall once again like a curtain about her face.
“Let’s just say it wasn’t for me,” she told him with a sad smile. “Turns out, I’m a small town girl after all.”
“There’s no shame in that,” he assured her, concerned about what exactly it was that had lead her to that conclusion.
“No,” she agreed, swiping a tear that fell from her eye, “None.”
She’d fallen right back into step with everyone, as though she’d never left at all. She’d gotten a job as a buyer for a local boutique, which allowed her to watch her nephew on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, desperate to make up the time she’d missed with him, and became once again, a regular at family dinners. She’d bought a townhouse on a quiet street in town and he and Robb had done a few repairs and helped get her settled as she and Ella picked out throw pillows and accent pieces. They’d started spending more and more time together. He’d drive her home after family dinners and sometimes they’d end up at one of the pubs in town - talking about stories from when they were young and things were simpler - even if they hadn’t felt like it at the time. And suddenly it had become impossible to deny that what he felt for her, what he’d always felt for her, was nothing like what he felt for Ella or Arya. That yes, there was a common thread. He loved each of them more than his own life, but the way he loved them, the core of it was so vastly different that it seemed unbelievable there was only one word to describe each of the feelings. “She must know how important she is to me,” he told Antoni, “How could she not?” “Well,” Antoni sighed, “Have you ever bothered to tell her?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“So where are we?,” Karamo asked. Jon pointed at the large building they were walking towards, his traditional black boots and jeans, a thick sweater on underneath his coat, “This uh is Night’s Watch Construction. It actually has been around since before the town of Winterfell was founded. The Night’s Watch built the Town Hall where town meetings still take place.” “Oh my godddd,” Jonathan squealed, holding onto Karamo so that he doesn’t fall in his four inch heels, “How colonial chic is this? Get myself a little bonnet and some typhoid.” Jon chuckled and shook his head. He had never met anyone quite like the Fab Five, but they were so full of energy and so upbeat that it was kind of impossible to be in a bad mood around them. Karamo pressed on as they got inside, the receptionist greeting them with a smile. They walked into Jon’s, formerly Mormont’s, office and he sat down behind the desk. It still felt odd to be on this side of it, the desk chair felt too large, the perspective all wrong. Jonathan and Karamo sit down in the chairs opposite of him and Karamo asked, “You know you mentioned this company has been around since before the town’s founding. What does being a part of that mean to you?” Jon scratched his cheek and thought about it, “I mean I guess to me it’s more about protecting the legacy. You know, The Night’s Watch has been around long before me, and it’s my job to make sure it’s around long after me. I know it’s just a company but… to me, to this town, it’s more than that. You know it um… it was one of the last stops on the underground railroad. The Night’s Watch built houses for men and women who’d escaped slavery, it was The Night’s Watch that built the first school that allowed girls to learn alongside boys in the state of Vermont, and… I don’t know I just think that… it’s always sought to create spaces where people felt safe. Whether it was homes or hospitals or schools or police stations and I think that’s something worth protecting.” “You know, it’s interesting to hear you talk about it, not just because I love that sexy voice, but… because it’s not about profit or power or anything for you except giving back to others, and I just think it’s really beautiful because you think of yourself as something separate to that, when really you are a space where people feel safe,” Jonathan said. “Yes,” Karamo agreed, but Jon was shaking his head. “Why don’t you believe that?” Jon shrugged and leaned back, “I think of Ned Stark and Joer Mormont and they’re the kind of men that made people feel like that.” “I’m sure they were, but Ned Stark brought you into his home and Joer Mormont brought you into his business. Are you really surprised that they’dve rubbed off on you?,” Karamo asked. Jon still wasn’t sure. It wasn’t that he felt that he was a bad guy or anything, he just never really thought about himself at all. “Okay I can tell that you still don’t believe us,” Jonathan said and took out his phone, “So maybe you’ll listen to somebody else.” Jon took the phone and pressed play. All of a sudden Ella’s face filled the screen, a video of her talking in the car with Jonathan, Tan and Bobby. “He just carries people, he carries me…he’s just, he’s home to me, to all of us.” Next Robb came on the screen, it was a video of him and Tan cuddling on the couch at his and Ella’s house, “Jon Snow…well… he’s my brother, first and foremost. I’ve got two by blood but they won’t mind my saying that he’s as much a brother to me as they are. He was there when my son was born, I was traveling and couldn’t get back, Ella went into labor too early. And I just remember getting the call and being scared out of my mind, and then Jon got on the phone and I’ll never forget what he said, he said, ‘I’ve got her, Robb. I’ve got her.’ and I was still freaking out and he interrupted me and he said, ‘It’s Ella. She is your heart and mine, and I have got her. I’m not letting anything happen to her or my nephew, do you understand me? So you just focus on getting home, because they’ll be waiting for you when you do.’ And I believed him, because he never lies and he’d sooner bleed out than let anything happen to one of us. I just wish he knew that we feel the same about him.” And then little Ned came onto the screen. He was perched on Ella’s hip and she asked him, “So what do you think of your Uncle Jon?” And Tommy grinned and he said, “He’s a suuuuuuperhero!” And Ella feigned surprise, “A SUPERHERO?” and Tommy nodded and said, “And he’s all mine!” Jon chuckled even as a tear dropped out of his eye and then the camera cut to a beautiful girl with auburn hair, sitting on the couch in the boutique where she worked. “Jon?,” Sansa asked, and it might have just been the lighting or the cameras but there was a blush to her cheek, “He’s… well he’s just home, to me. And not just because we grew up together but because Jon is Jon. I feel… safe with him, you know? Like the monsters can’t reach me when he’s nearby. I never really had that in LA, so I came home.” The screen went black but Jon kept on staring at it, his pouty lips open in wonder. “How does that make you feel?,” Karamo asked, knowing that it can be a lot for someone like him to hear how much he matters. “Did Sansa come home for me?,” Jon asked though. Karamo and Jonathan looked at each other, not expecting that as a reaction and Jonathan asked, “What now?” “Sansa,” Jon repeated, “She said she didn’t have anyone that made her feel safe in LA like I do, so she came home.” Karamo took the phone from Jon and pressed play. Jonathan made a cutting gesture with his hand towards the camera. The cameramen ignored him and kept rolling. They all listened to Sansa once again. They all sat in silence for a moment and then Jonathan said, “Wait, wait, wait,” and pressed play again. “What does Jon is Jon mean?,” he asked them. “Well look at yourself honey!,” Jonathan practically shouted at him. “What on earth do you think it means? That you’re hot and strong and giving that pouty pout like smiling costs you something.” “Not just because we grew up together…,” Jon repeated under his breath, ignoring Jonathan’s outburst. “Why have you never told her how you feel?,” Karamo asked him. Jon looked at him, “You’ve met her, right?” Karamo nodded, “Yeah, she’s pretty special.” “Would you risk losing her?,” Jon asked. And then pointed to the phone, “Or them? If I’m wrong? They’re her family.” “They’re yours too,” Karamo said softly. “Didn’t you listen to a word they said? You are their home, their rock, you’re their goddamned superhero, man! You couldn’t shake them if you tried. What makes you so sure that you would?” Jon shook his head, “It doesn’t matter.” “If it’s stopping you from pursuing the obvious love of you life then it super does,” Jonathan countered. Then said more softly, “Ella mentioned you and she didn’t have the best parents…” Jon blinked, trying to stop tears from filling his eyes. He never cried, hadn’t even when Mormont died. “Well my Mom was great, of what I can remember,” Jon said, “But my father he… he wasn’t around much, you know and when I was about twelve he got this other family and, you know I um, it wasn’t so bad, he didn’t beat me or anything, I didn’t go hungry I just… he just… I just…” “Lost him,” Karamo finished and Jon nodded, wiping his eyes. “You know it’s interesting to hear you minimize that by saying he never beat you or you didn’t go hungry, because that shouldn’t be a benchmark, you know? I think people, but especially men, have a desire to push these things down and minimize the effect things have on us. But the truth is, rejection at that age, especially from a parent, that is neglect. I don’t care if you had more food than you know what to do with… you still weren’t getting something fundamental that you needed, and I think because of that you tried to teach yourself not to need it.” Jon nodded, and Jonathan went on, “Ella mentioned you haven’t always had the best relationships.” Jon actually smiled and shook his head, “Well, Ella wasn’t too fond of the girls I’ve dated.” Karamo wouldn’t let him off the hook though and asked, “Why do you think that is?” Jon shrugged, “I guess because they didn’t really treat me well, you know um, one of them cheated and the other just kind of… she didn’t really give much. Ella couldn’t stand it, she almost got her teeth knocked out by one of ‘em, Robb had to carry her out over his shoulder.” Jonathan and Karamo laughed at the image and Jonathan leaned forward and asked, “And what do we think our precious baby Sansa would be like in a relationship?” Jon thought of the way Sansa would bring a book he’d mentioned in passing to dinner on Sunday, and the way sometimes she’d make extra food and drop it by when he was working late. He thought of how she would hook her arm through his when he walked her home from the pub, holding onto his bicep with her other arm and making him slow down so she could catch the snow on her tongue. He thought of walking in to find her toweling off little Ned’s hair and the way their nephew would bury his face in her neck and tell her she smelled like sunshine. He thought of the way she’d hop up on the counter when he was doing the dishes and pick up a cloth and dry the wine glasses and how she’d ask him how his day was and he’d say fine and she’d fix him with a look and soon he was telling her all about the supplier that had sent an incomplete order and the client that change his mind halfway though a job. He thought about when she’d fall asleep on his couch after watching a movie and when he’d cover her with a blanket and go to his room to sleep, Ghost would stay with her all night long. “Perfection,” he admitted. Karamo looked at him and asked, “Isn’t that worth a little bit of risk?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
This was the day of all of them that Jon had been dreading. He never thought much about his look but he was stuck in his ways and he knew that. He felt comfortable in his dark clothing, with his long hair and his beard. He’d had them since high school, and he wasn’t eager to lose them. “Hello my love,” Tan said as he walked into one of the upscale boutiques in town. He’d been here before with Sansa and Ella, when they came to pick out presents for Robb or Bran or Rickon, but he’d never bought anything for himself here. He couldn’t really imagine spending so much on clothes - even though he had to admit that he’d been pretty jealous of the navy blue sweater Ella had gotten Robb just because last month. “Hi,” Jon said. He hadn’t spent a lot of time with Tan, who like Bobby was a bit more reserved than the others around him. He seemed like a nice enough guy, though he couldn’t imagine they had anything in common in regards to personal style. “Okay, I can already see you’ve got some concerns,” Tan called him out right away, propping himself against the wall and crossing his arms, “Walk me through what’s going on in your head right now.” Jon shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess I just don’t want to look like someone else.” Tan nodded, “I don’t want you to either. I’m not going to ask you to wear a shirt sleeved silk shirt with palm trees on it, though I think you have the body for it. I actually don’t dislike your look for you at all, but I also don’t want that to be an excuse not to try new things, because it isn’t about something just being okay, it’s about fitting you with the things you need in every aspect of your life that still feel like you. For instance… you are the owner of one of the most successful businesses in Vermont and you are a chief advisor to the mayor who rumor has it might be putting in a bid for the senate in the next election. What do you have in your closet now that you would wear to these meetings?” Jon stopped and thought about it. He played more of a behind the scenes role with Robb. Ella was more than just the First Lady of Winterfell, she was Robb’s head advisor, his unofficial chief of staff, and best fundraiser, so it was usually her up in front alongside Robb. But they had another baby on the way and there was far more ground to cover in the senate race. She couldn’t do it all on her own. Tan smiled, “I’m going to take your silence as…nothing?” Jon sighed and nodded, “Yeah I uh, suppose I could use a couple things.” Tan nodded, “And what about your personal life? If you were to take a certain redhead out on a date, what would you wear?” Jon looked down at his boots, black jeans and black t shirt and gestured. Tan grinned, “And what would she wear?” Jon pointed out, “Well she’s really into fashion and that sort of thing…” Tan held his hands up in exasperation, “And don’t you think one really good way of showing her how much you care about her would be to take interest in something that’s important to her?” Jon sighed, the coiffed, opinionated Brit had a point. Tan said, “Look, Jon, I’m sure Sansa would be proud to go on a date with you no matter what you’re wearing, any girl - and most guys - would be. But you’ve known this girl for her entire life, and a really good way for her to see you in a different light is for you to present yourself in a different light. If she always sees you in jeans and a t shirt and you ask her out to dinner and you’re wearing jeans and a t shirt how is she supposed to know she isn’t just grabbing a bite with her friend Jon?” At this point, Jon was almost hoping Sansa would reject him in some horrible fashion and that Netflix would have to scrap the whole episode. But the other, younger, more subdued part of him - the part that loved the first snow every year and reading to Ned at bedtime - hoped that they were right, that this could work, that with the right amount of confidence and personal grooming he could actually make Sansa his. So he said, “Do your worst.” * “Move ladies, my husband is here,” Jonathan ordered to the absolutely zero people that were in the salon. Jon couldn’t even be uncomfortable at this point. Jonathan was so unlike anyone he’d ever met and he had a way of making him feel good every time he saw him. He was dramatic and a little kooky but Jon knew a good heart when he saw one. “Hello gorgeous,” Jon joked and shook his head when Jonathan fake swooned. “Sit, sit, sit,” Jonathan ordered and Jon did. He gestured to Jon’s ponytail and asked, “May I?” Jon nodded and Jonathan took his hair down. He couldn’t help but wince as Jonathan started combing his fingers through it. Not because it felt bad or anything but because he was afraid he’d cut it all off. Jonathan grabbed his head and tugged it back against his stomach, “Okay, first things first boo-boo. I’ve given this a lotttt of thought (in bed, just kidding no I’m not ohmygod don’t sue me!) because I just didn’t know what to do with all of this gorgeousness,” all the while he was combing his hands through his hair and lifting it up and letting it fall. He took a deep breath and said, “And I just don’t think I can cut this off.” Jon let out a sigh of relief and grinned from ear to ear. “Oh my god are you smiling are you so happy are we in love now?” “Definitely closer,” Jon nodded. Jonathan vogued for the camera and nodded, “So what I’m thinking is I’m just going to give you a gorgeous little baby trim and a little shape so you can just face you know I just want you to face.” Jon had no idea what it meant to face but he nodded as though he did. Jonathan’s hands moved down to his beard and said, “Now…” “You can’t shave it all the way,” Jon told him. He hadn’t really put his foot down yet but this was important. “I did that on a dare about a year ago and Ned cried every time he saw me.” “Well we can’t have that, Nedbaby has to be protected at all costs,” Jonathan agreed, and then gestured to his chin, “But where we’re seeing all this growth here it’s actually making you look bulkier than you are so what I want to do is just tighten it, you know, just super close super gorgeous hug that beautiful face of yours show off what god gave you sort of thing, you know?” Jon didn’t know but he nodded anyway. Jonathan asked, “Do you trust me?” “Oddly, yes,” Jon admitted. Jonathan squealed and brought Jon over to the sink. He made him lay back and ran warm water, squirting some shampoo into his hand and then massaging it into Jon’s scalp. Jon closed his eyes. He could now understand why Sansa, Ella and Arya always talked about how they would pay someone just to shampoo their hair. He’d always thought it was because it was long and took a long time, but it felt insanely good and relaxing. “When was the last time you went to the hair salon?,” Jonathan asked him. “I uh, I can’t remember the last time,” Jon admitted, “I usually just trim my hair when it gets too long.” “Love a man who does it himself, but I’m going to strongly urge you to stop doing it yourself,” Jonathan joked, “Not because you need a professional to show off this gorgeousness but because it’s just like a super small way to just be nice to yourself. You know a lot of guys you’re age are a bit lazy and don’t necessarily do things for themselves, but you’re the opposite, you take on too much and don’t give yourself the like metaphorical hug that you need to sometimes, you know?” Jon nodded, “I think that’s because of um, the way I grew up you know? When Cat was alive she used to cut my hair when she cut the boys’, you know, and uh, ever since she passed away I guess I just never thought to go somewhere to get it done.” “Does Robb?,” Jonathan asked. Jon nodded, “Yeah he uh, goes to a barber. Arya tried to cut it once and he ended up having to shave it off and Ella approaches it like a doctor - no operating on loved ones.” Jonathan laughed, “That’s a good rule that I never follow. But I think you know, Robb was in a similar situation to you, he lost his parents and had to become one at way too young an age and all that but he seems to have found a way to let other people take care of him.” Jon nodded as Jonathan did a second shampooing, making a shhh gesture at the camera. Jon didn’t notice but since he’d gotten him talking he didn’t want him to stop. “I think that’s Ella, really, you know. They were together already when his parents died and they’d always been solid but they kind of just became a unit after that. You know, Ella would be making the kids lunches as Robb would be reading their papers. They’d part with a kiss goodbye and one of them shouting at the other that dinner would be on the table at 7. It was Ella who came up with the chore chart, not just because she and Sansa were wearing themselves out trying to be mothers to three kids, but because she knew Bran had to get off the couch and stop playing video games and that Rickon needed structure or he’d get out of control. Some nights I’d look for Ella to take her home and I’d find her sitting on the couch, Robb’s back to her, her arms and legs wrapped around him as they both read some document or another. They’re just… symbiotic.” “And you’ve never had that in your past relationships,” Jonathan prompted. Jon shook his head, “No, not even close. If I’d had anywhere near what Robb and El have there’d be a ring on my finger.” Jonathan squealed, “And is that something you want, love, marriage, baby?” “Yeah,” Jon nodded, without hesitating the way he had earlier in the week. “Definitely.” “Love that,” Jonathan agreed and rinsed his hair. “And I am not here to preach to you, I am in the trenches of bad relationships right along with you honey, but I noticed this like switch when I started really taking care of myself and putting my needs first that I just attracted a different sort of relationship you know? Like having needs does not make you selfish it does not make you bad it just makes you human, you know?” With that he ushered Jon back over to the chair and started trimming his hair, “And I think that like, I just want you to be taken care of a little bit?” “I am,” Jon argued. “I am, really.” Jonathan said, “I know Ella’s sissy extraordinaire but -“ “Not just El,” Jon interrupted, “By Sansa too. She gives to everybody around her and I think she and I are similar. You know she hasn’t always had the best time of it with relationships and I could never understand why. She’s smart and kind and so beautiful it makes your heart hurt just to look at her and she takes care of everyone around her. And I just want her to let me take care of her back, you know?” Jonathan smiled as he took out the clippers, “Sounds symbiotic to me, boo-boo.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
He really couldn’t believe this week was over. In some ways it had seem to last forever, but in others it felt like the Fab Five had just arrived. It was a little strange that tomorrow he’d wake up and he’d have his life back. Stranger still that he now knew, more than ever, what he wanted that life to look like. “Are you nervous?,” Karamo asked. “A little,” he admitted. “I just don’t want it to feel like I’m living in someone else’s house.” He’d hardly spent anytime with Bobby, and so he wasn’t sure that he’d really have an understanding of his taste. He knew that he could switch back anything he didn’t like, but that kind of sounded like a pain on top of everything else. Knowing him he’d just leave it. No. That’s what the old Jon Snow would have done. The new and improved Jon Snow would not settle. Or something like that. Honestly he was still trying to sort it all out. “Before this week, when you were nervous, what did you do about it?,” Karamo asked. Jon shrugged, “Not much really.” Karamo nodded as he pulled down the long driveway, “See, it may not seem like it but that little bit there is progress. There is an actual catharsis we feel when we admit our emotions to another person, it immediately becomes easier to deal with. And the Jon Snow I met a few days ago probably wouldn’t have admitted it.” He knew that was true. Knew that as much as the Starks tried to get him to lean on them, he never fully had. It had been a bit of stubbornness, a bit of habit. But more than anything it had been fear. That he’d need too much and he’d lose them. He couldn’t even imagine how that’d make them feel to hear that. Ella would probably smack him across the face for even thinking it, but the others would be hurt too. Robb probably, most of all. He’d try to explain that it wasn’t them, that he did rely on them, that it was him, entirely. But even still he knew how he would feel if one of them said that about him. It would break his heart, truly. “You’re right,” he agreed. “I wouldn’t have. I would have thought it wasn’t your problem and you were only asking to be nice or because you had to.” “And how do you feel now?,” Karamo asked, stopping the car and turning it off. Jon thought about it and shrugged, “Well when I was speaking with Jonathan for instance about past relationships it came out that he’d also been in some not so great ones and it made it easier to sort of… see the patterns, you know? And see how crazy it is that someone like him would be mistreated… and I guess if I hadn’t told him, he might not have told me and I might not have gained that understanding.” “YESSSSSSSSSS,” Karamo practically shouted at him and then turned more serious. “Humans crave intimacy and it’s addicting, the more we get the more we want. And I’m so proud of you for opening yourself up to that.” Jon blushed but nodded because for once when someone complimented him, he agreed. He did feel more open and that felt good and a little scary but good. “Let’s go see your new house,” Karamo suggested. “Let’s do it,” Jon agreed. They got out of the car and as they were approaching his door the other four came outside. All of them had identical smiles on their face, which was admittedly borderline ominous. “Well done, Jonathan,” Tan said. Jonathan pouted at him, “Serving face YAS.” He still had no idea what that meant but he pouted back and Jonathan squealed and took his hand and then he was being pulled inside. He had to do a bit of a double take as he looked around. He had been afraid that Bobby was going to change it all, give him an accent wall or something trendy like that. Instead though he had leaned into the cabin of it all, enhancing the bare bones of the space that Jon had always loved. It was, what one might call, cozy. “So,” Bobby started, “As you can see I really didn’t want to mess with these great historic bones, I just wanted to turn this into a more functional space and make it feel like a place you want to call home.” Jon nodded, speechless. They were in the main living room and all of the pieces he had made with Ned were there. There was a new sectional couch that looked insanely comfortable, with Sansa’s throw folded over the back of it. On the walls were vintage photographs of Winterfell along with some artier outdoor shots that had he seen in a gallery might have felt pretentious but here just seemed to fit. He’d given him a big bookcase and filled it with books he’d had in the storage room, along with personal pictures, some of which he didn’t even know he had. There was a picture of him and Robb after a lacrosse game their Senior year of high school, muddy and sweaty but grinning ear to ear. There was a picture of him sitting on Ella’s hospital bed with his arm wrapped around her as she held little Ned. He was looking at the camera but she was leaning back against him. There was a picture of him posing with Sansa in her prom dress, he looked somewhat dour and she looked gorgeous and happy - even though her parents weren’t there to take the photograph. There was one with him napping with Ned sleeping on top of him. He’d never seen it before but Robb or Ella must have snapped it when they were at his house. On the top there was a picture of his mom, young and beautiful and alive with him on her knees. And next to it a picture of him at his high school graduation, the elder Ned and Cat on either side of him. Looking like proud parents. He felt tears spring to his eyes for the first time in a long while. They were all there. All of them. They’d all been there the whole time, and he’d known it, he had, but he’d never relied on it. He felt someone’s hand on his back and it just made it worse and tears started falling out of his eyes in earnest. “It’s uh, just my family,” he explained and they nodded. “They love you so much,” Karamo told him. “Seriously that video? That’s nothing we couldn’t get them to shut about you. And it wasn’t just them Jon, it was Arya and Bran and Rickon, your guys at work. I know it’s been a tough transition but they respect you so much, and they trust you.” Jon nodded and they took him into his kitchen. It had been completely redone but still seemed to fit in the space, it was now just fully stocked. “POTS AND PANS,” Antoni exclaimed and then looked at him with a wide toothy grin and pointed, “You’re going to use these. Say it.” “At least once a week,” Jon joked and they all laughed at Antoni’s expense. They continued on into his bedroom and it was once again entirely transformed. It had been so bare before, like no one really lived there. Now there was a huge king bed and a large dresser and bookcase. There were pictures in here too and little knick-knacks he didn’t know he had and he’d built a window seat that looked out onto the expansive property. An image of Sansa sitting there wrapped in a blanket drinking coffee flashed into his mind. “I love it,” he told Bobby honestly, “I’m overwhelmed.” Bobby nodded, “I think we were all in a similar position this week where we didn’t need to bring you from zero to sixty, you know, you were hovering right around 50 and we just wanted to help push you to that final place because you deserve it. You do so much for everyone all the time and we just wanted to make it a little easier to do things for yourself. You already had a great house -“ “But now I’ve got a great home,” Jon told him. It cued a lot of awwws and some tears both from the guys and the millions of women watching. “Alright boys, it’s my turn, get out,” Tan ordered and the others went to do his bidding. He opened his closet which had been turned into a walk-in somehow. It was lined with lots of black, but also grey and dark blues and hunter greens. There wasn’t a palm tree in sight. “I’m so proud of you,” Jon confessed. Tan held is hand to his heart, “It was difficult trust me. Now I know you aren’t a wear a suit to work kind of guy, and even when you go on meetings with prospective clients that isn’t really appropriate, so I wanted to get you some things that would feel natural to wear but still make you look put together and like someone they can trust with their project.” With that he grabbed a few pieces and handed them to him. He left the room so Jon could change and he pulled on a pair of dark maroon khakis and a white button down, pulling a soft, thick grey sweater over. He let Tan back in who immediately tweaked the way he’d put on everything, handing him a belt and some new work boots made of a beautiful leather that still looked functional. As a final step he handed him a new pair of glasses that felt nice on his face. Tan left and he could hear him saying, “Alright for our first look we’ve chosen something that can bring him straight from a meeting to a nice casual dinner with friends, come on out Jonnifer.” Jon stepped out and Jonathan screamed, Antoni shouted COLORS and Karamo whistled. He gave them a thrill and did a little spin and he had to admit he felt good when they all cheered for him. “How do you feel?,” Tan asked. Jon thought about it, “Comfortable, surprisingly. You know it’s not the sort of thing that I’d wear on site but so much of what I’ll be doing in the coming months is outreach to new clients and I think this will uh, do better than the black t shirt.” Tan nodded, “YES! Not saying anything bad about black because honestly you rock it but just by putting together a simple look like this you are showing the world that you are thoughtful and detail oriented and you honestly just look trust worthy.” Jonathan put on his faux southern accent and pulled him into his lap, “I just want you to build me a nice home for us to grow old in.” Jon chuckled as the others tried to help him out. “Alright, next look,” Tan said and took him back. He pulled out a charcoal suit and a pair of black dress shoes. “Now, I did this on purpose to show you how easy this is,” Tan told him, “I want you to keep that same shirt on and change into this.” Jon did as he was told and Tan came back in the room. He proffered a box and opened it. “Oh my god,” Jon said. “Joer Mormont didn’t just leave you his company, Jon,” he told him, “He left you everything he owned. Including this watch, which I just had polished up and made a couple of small tweaks to. I think he’d want you to wear it.” Jon let him put it on him and he closed the clasp. The outside of the clasp had once been a bear but now it was a wolf with bared fangs. No one else would see it but he’d know it was there. “Thank you, I love it,” he told him. “Good,” Tan said and then unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. “No tie?,” Jon wondered, he’d rarely worn a suit but he’d never worn one without a tie. “No tie,” Tan said, “I love a tie but I want you to see how accessible this kind of look is. You don’t have to be super formal to look like a boss which is what you are. I’ve kept this nice and tailored, you’ve got a great body it’d be a crime not to show it off, and I just want you to walk into the room and not feel like you’re wearing someone else’s clothes because that is never a good look.” Jon looked at himself in the mirror. He had to admit that he looked like a boss. It wasn’t like he never wore a suit, but it was rare and only for special occasions. Usually it was the occasion that was the cause of concern - prom, a wedding, a funeral - than the suit itself. Nevertheless he had never associated them with power. At least not on him. A suit on Robb was power. It was walking into a meeting with the governor and not leaving until state funding was secured for after-school programs, it was convincing a conservative business owner to become his largest donor by insulting him to his face, it was standing at an altar because he’d asked the girl of his dreams to be his. The man in the mirror looked capable of that. Tan walked out in front of them and he followed. He thought he’d be prepared for the screams, but Jonathan seemed even to surprise himself as he fell off the couch. He took a seat in the vacated spot and Tan perched on the arm. They all kind of looked at him and he realized that this was it, they were going, it was over. Tomorrow no one would put their hands in his hair without asking, or try to make him do something entirely out of his comfort zone, no one would make him talk about his feelings. “I’m um, really going to miss you guys,” he found himself saying. “You know I uh, I was skeptical -“ “We know,” they all chorused. He chuckled and scratched his newly trimmed beard. Being at a loss for words was something he was accustomed to. Too many to get out within the time allowed, that was something entirely new. “You uh, did more than change my house and my beard you… well you changed my whole life. And, well it’s entirely possible that you’ve given me one. A new one, the one I’d never dreamed I’d get to have,” Jon said, tears streaming out of his eyes and all of theirs, “So I think the only thing to say is thank you.” He was right. There was nothing else more to say than that. They were proud of him, all of them, and each admired him more than they could say. They wanted to best for him, only the best, and knew even if he didn’t that he would get it in the form of a leggy auburn-haired beauty. So there were only hugs and promises of keeping in touch, and then they were gone. If someone had asked him a week ago how he might feel in this moment he would have said relieved. If someone had asked him this morning how he might feel in this moment he would have said sad. But the feeling he experienced when the five of them left his home was neither of those. He felt something he wasn’t entirely sure he’d ever felt in his life. Ready.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“So what do we have here?,” Karamo asked. “Well, in honor of our hero I have made a really nice chicken parmesan,” Antoni told them proudly, handing out bowls of the dish. It was different than what they usually ate, heartier, but it felt appropriate in their snowy little cabin. They all settled on the couch and Jonathan grabbed the remote. “Are you ready for the romantic comedy of our generation? I’m talking Four Weddings and a Funeral I’m talking Pretty Woman I’m talking Sleepless. In. Seattle,” he snapped. “Is Sleepless in Seattle really considered a comedy?,” Tan asked. “I found it sort of depressing.” “We’re in a fight for five minutes,” Jonathan informed him. “B-,” Tan started. Jonathan held up is hand, “Five minutes starting now.” Bobby took the remote control and pressed play… *** After the Fab Five had left, Jon had taken Ghost for a long walk in the woods. It was what he always did when he needed to think, going all the way to the small clearing with the large Weirwood stood. It was centering and the cold air rejuvenating. As much as he’d enjoyed his time with the Fab Five, quiet had always been important to him. His way of recharging. When he’d returned he had taken a long hot shower and then opened his medicine cabinet. In there he found the mousse that Jonathan had gotten him. He followed his instructions, combing it through his hair and then blew it dry. He rarely bothered to do so, but he had to admit it looked better than normal and he didn’t think it would be appropriate to show up with wet hair to this function. He looked at what else he’d gotten him and pulled out the beard oil he’d put on after he’d trimmed it. He put a little in his hands and rubbed it into his beard. He was afraid it would make it look styled or oily but it didn’t. He then went into his closet. It turned out that Tan had gotten him a few suits and he pulled out one he never would have looked at before. It was a deep navy and three pieces, the material looked expensive and the cut was slim. He pulled it on with a white shirt, leaving the top button undone. He went into his sock drawer and found a pair that might go with it. He then looked at his shoe rack. There were a few new pairs. Normally he’d choose black, because it was what he was most comfortable in. There was less chance of standing out, of being seen to do the wrong thing. He grabbed the brown instead and tied them. They felt as good as his work boots did. (Tan was standing up as the other men applauded him as they all watched) He went into his desk drawer, one of the pieces he’d told Bobby he couldn’t replace, and grabbed the small package he’d had in there since he was ten years old and put it inside pocket of his jacket. He brushed his teeth, let Ghost out, and got in his truck to head over to the lot. His assistant was there waiting for him when he arrived, “Oh Jon you look great!” “Thank you, Gilly,” he smiled at her, “So do you, and so does the warehouse. I almost didn’t recognize it.” She beamed at him, turning her somewhat plain features into those of a beauty. She’d told him during her interview that she had wanted to be a wedding planner, but when her son had come along she’d needed something more stable. Looking around he realized she’d missed her calling. His warehouse had been transformed into a venue fit for a gala. It was rustic, undoubtably, but large light fixtures hung from the ceiling on thick ropes, and large torches had been brought in, bathing everything a romantic glow. The heat from them warmed the space enough so that the doors could remain open, and snow fell softly in the distance. The tables were set with pewter, the napkins tied with plaid ribbons. There were two separate bars and the band was setting up in one corner of the room. He had wondered if it made sense to have one, not really thinking it would turn into that sort of party, but Ella had convinced him.
Trust me, Jon, if there’s anything I’ve learned from campaigning it is that Vermonters don’t need an excuse to dance in January. The nights are long, they need a way to pass them.
Gilly went to go speak to the caterer and he took the opportunity to run up to his office. He pulled open the desk drawer and grabbed his notecards that had his speech written on them. He wasn’t one much for speeches, but this was his only opportunity to really introduce himself as the new leader of Night’s Watch Construction and thank them all for the support they’d shown the company during the transition. He read his notes and grabbed a pen and scratched a few things out. Points that seemed stale or disingenuous. He thought about what Karamo would urge him.
Show people your passion. Show them you believe and it’ll make them they believe too.
He thought of the five of them, how they all worked to make people’s lives better. How they found a way to give back, even though some of them hadn’t had the easiest time of it. He reached in his pocket and pressed the first name in his speed dial. “Snow?,” Robb answered. “Stark,” Jon returned. “How’d you like to win the senate seat and do some good at the same time?” “Let me grab the boss,” Robb told him and Jon could hear him saying Ella, sweetheart, Jon needs to talk to us. “I’m almost ready I promise!,” Ella said into the phone and made Jon smile. “What’s up?” “I have an idea,” Jon told them and then took a deep breath, and uttered five words he never really had before, “But I need your help…” There was silence for only the briefest of moments and then Ella said, “Of course.” Robb said, “Anything, what’s the plan?” And he had no idea why he’d waited so long. * Jon was speaking with one of owners of the lumber yard when Robb walked in with Ella on his arm. (Are they the most beautiful couple in America? Bobby asked. The Northern hemisphere. Tan corrected. Probably the world. Antoni suggested.) Ella squealed when she saw him, abandoning her husband rushing over to him. “You look so handsome!,” she told him, “Spin, spin, spin.” “Ella…,” he groaned out of habit. “SPIN!,” she ordered. (Spin! the Fab Five shouted at the television) He let out a sigh and spun and she clapped her hands in glee. She was wearing a pale pink cocktail dress and looked beautiful as always, her golden hair swept into an elegant chignon, a pair of diamonds sparkling in her ears, looking every inch the politician’s wife. But she was so much more than that. “So?,” she asked. “Will you ever forgive me?” He chuckled, “No.” Her mouth dropped and he told her, “You should have nominated me Season 1.” She let out a giggle as Robb came to join them, the pair of them greeted each other and Robb took the lapels of his jacket in his hands. “Custom?,” he asked. Jon held his arms wide, “Only the best.” Ella was pulled off by the wife of one of Robb’s largest donors, and he and Robb started walking around the party. It was really starting to take off, servers were passing hors d’oeuvres and champagne, and like at all parties up here the crowd was mixed. Robb shook hands with this one and that, and for once he didn’t stand back and let him, he stepped forward as well, thanking them for coming, complimenting a dress here, asking about a child’s first semester at college there. He had never really bothered to do things like that, but he realized as he walked around that he knew these people. This was his community, and he and Robb were its favorite sons. When they’d kissed enough metaphorical babies he and Robb went to the bar and ordered a glass of whiskey each. Robb cupped the back of his head, “This idea of yours…” Jon nodded, “You with me, brother?” Robb grinned and tilted his head, “Now and always.” They raised their glasses to one another and cheersed. As their glasses clinked a flash of red caught his eye and his breath stuck in his throat. He looked past Robb, across the dance floor, to where his younger sister stood speaking with Gilly. She was stunning, in a pale silver cocktail dress that caught in the life, seeming to make her skin shimmer as well. Her long hair was curled in long, old-Hollywood waves, her lips a deep red. She looked like an angel but could tempt the very devil himself. “Promise?,” he managed. Robb turned and followed his gaze. Sansa must have felt their eyes on her because she turned to them lifting her hand in a small wave, a smile in her eyes though not on her lips. They both waved back and she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and turned back to Gilly. (Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, Jonathan was rocking back and forth as Antoni and Tan cuddled with identical ecstatic smiles on their faces.) “Do you remember when she dated Joffrey?,” Robb asked and Jon nodded. He still had a scar on his knuckle from when it had caught on Joffrey’s tooth as he punched him in the face. “I wanted to comfort her, you know uh, so I went to her room. My Dad was already there though, she was crying into his shirt. And I heard him say, You’ll see, child. Someday, when you’re older, you’ll meet someone brave, gentle and strong.” Jon’s eyes crinkled, “Sounds like him.” Robb clapped him on the shoulder, “Actually I was thinking it sounded like you.” With that Robb walked away, joining Ella with a hand to the small of her back. He watched as Ella’s body shifted towards Robb, nestling into his as his hand moved more securely around her waist. He said something to the men she’d been talking to, his politician’s smile on his face and then pulled Ella away. The way she kissed his cheek in thanks for getting her out of the conversation, before straightening his tie. They were saying something to one another, he couldn’t quite tell what it was but the look between them said everything anyway. He turned back towards where he’d seen Sansa but found her missing from the spot. A note of panic struck him as his eyes scanned the crowd for her. He found her by the bar across the room. Brave, gentle and strong, he told himself and started walking towards her. People had been coming up to him all night, but now no one seemed to dare. He made it across the party in record time and then he was standing right there, behind her. And he had no idea what to say. Thankfully she turned around and saved him from himself, the way she always seemed to. “Jon!,” she exclaimed, “You look amazing!” “Thank you,” he said and they both kind of stared at each other and he leaned forward and kissed her cheek. He heard her whisper Oh and his eyes flicked to hers as he pulled away. “You look…” She blushed but teased, “Any excuse to get dressed up, you know me.” He tried to smile but he couldn’t. Because she was right there and it felt like if he didn’t tell her now he never would. “I do know you,” he said and the smile faded from her lips. He cleared his throat, “I think sometimes that I uh, well sometimes I think I know everything about you but then -“ “Ladies and gentlemen,” a voice cut into his thoughts. (NOOOOOOOOOOOO Antoni shouted at the television.) Sansa turned her attention towards the dance floor where Gilly was standing with a microphone. “Thank you all for coming, with your permission I’d like to introduce the man of the hour, the person who made all this possible, Jon Snow!” People were clapping and Sansa started to as well. He placed a hand on her arm and said in her ear, “Stick around. Please.” He felt her lips against his cheek and said in his ear, the thing her father always used to say before a big game or test or any time he thought he might need a little boost, “Go be great, Jon Snow.” He didn’t look at her before he turned away. He couldn’t, because she’d know. And he didn’t want her to know like this. So he walked towards Gilly and waved a bit towards the crowd. He kissed her on the cheek and took the microphone when she offered. “Thank you, Gilly,” he said, “Let’s give her a round of applause, she put this whole event together, every detail. And I think she did a great job, don’t you?” The crowd went wild and he clapped. (Look at how in command he is, Tan said. He owns that room, Bobby agreed.) When the crowd settled down he reached into his pocket to grab his notecards but found it empty. “Well uh, I seem to have forgotten my notes, but that’s okay, the speech was shit anyway,” he joked and the crowd laughed. “For those of you who may not know, the beautiful, and meddlesome First Lady of Winterfell nominated me for a little show called Queer Eye.” Once again the crowd went wild. “I… don’t know what I expected, but I can tell you what I didn’t expect. I didn’t expect to learn more about myself in a single week than I ever had, I didn’t expect to walk away with five new friends,” he said and he looked at Sansa and she gave him a small smile, “I didn’t expect my life to change. But I did, and it did, and I am so grateful. In learning about myself I also learned about them. These five men who all have many, very different skills and one unifying one - compassion. I’m not sure any of them had ever stepped foot in Vermont before this week, but for this trait alone they are one of us. We look after each other, take care of each other. It’s something that goes back to our first settlers, and goes back to the founding of Night’s Watch Construction. So, in honor of the very Fabulous Five, and with the full support and partnership of my friend and brother, Mayor Robb Stark, the Night’s Watch Construction’s first major project of this year will be the building of a home for LGBTQ+ youths who have been abandoned by their families. Together, on the piece of land that connects our properties, we will create a safe place for children to heal, and learn and grow. In addition to clothing, food and shelter we will provide access to health care, create paths for continuing education and career placement.” He had to stop speaking for a moment as the applause was too thunderous to continue. (All five members of the Fab Five were crying and speechless) He waved his hand, “Thank you. Thank you. For all of the support you have shown Night’s Watch in the past and how much I hope you will show in the future. I am proud to work in and for the community of Winterfell. Please enjoy yourselves, and have a good night.” With that he walked off the dance floor. He felt adrenaline coursing through his veins and he saw Sansa there, a huge smile on her face, clapping with all the rest. He didn’t say anything, he just grabbed her hand and pulled her outside. “Jon that was incredible!,” she was saying, “Can I help? What will you need, oh I can-“ “Sansa,” he started and she looked at him. He stood in front of her and repeated, “Sansa.” (It’s happeninggggggggggggggg, Karamo was screaming) “J-Jon?,” she asked, her teeth chattering. He brought her close to one of outdoor torches and took of his suit jacket, pulling the package from it and then placed the coat around her shoulders. “Thank you,” she said, pulling her arms through the sleeves and hugging it to her body. “Sansa I’m sorry to pull you out here like this,” he started and then shook his head, “No um, actually I’m not. I… here.” He was botching this. He handed her the package and she glanced down at his hand and then took it with slender fingers. She opened the box and her eyes went wide. “Oh Jon its beautiful,” she breathed. He took the box from her and took out the diamond and sapphire hair comb that rested inside. The cluster of sapphires were in the shape of Winter Roses and they were the exact shade of her eyes. “This belonged to my mother,” he explained and her eyes met his. “I should’ve given it to you a long time ago. May I?” She nodded and he pushed it into her silky hair. The diamonds shone in the torch light, the sapphires winking at him. “Thank you,” she said softly, touching her fingers to the comb, “I… why are you giving it to me now?” She didn’t ask him in accusation, only curiosity. Not only curiosity though, there was something in the shake of her voice. “Because I wasn’t lying in there, this week changed my life. It…it changed me. You know it all started out as them trying to get me to do more things for myself,” he said and took a deep breath and then her hand and she looked down at them clasped together. He went on, “But then it became clear that the best thing I could do for myself was to convince you to be with me… I’m in love with you, Sansa. So you were in all of it. The learning to cook, the new clothes, the new me. It’s all for you.” Sansa was still looking down at their hands and she shook her head. Dread ran down his spine and she told him, “You’re an idiot.” He tried not to but he flinched away from her. In every imagining of this, even those in which she rejected him, she had never sounded like that. “Sansa I know this is a lot but -“ She looked up at him and there were tears in her eyes, “I was in love with the old you,” (Screaming. Just screaming.) “I would’ve been with him if he’d only asked.” Tears sprung to his eyes and he shook his head, “Well he was a coward. But I’m not. So I’m asking you to love me now. Can you do that?” (YESSSS WE CAN!!!!!) Sansa smiled, a radiant, pure smile, and then a tear fell out of her eye. She forced a pout onto her face and said haughtily, “Well I don’t know. This new identity of yours, is he a good kisser?” (GET YOUR MAN, GET YOUR MAN SANSA STARK! Karamo shouted) Jon grinned, and as though he knew that they were watching, or as though he cared about anything except for her in this moment, took her in his arms and dipped her backwards. She gasped and he grinned, “You tell me.”