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“Okay, honestly, Jon. What is it?” Damian asked exasperated after ignoring Jon Kent fidgeting around in his place on the ground for a solid ten minutes.
Jon tried not to look too ashamed upon having been found out this “quickly” but went back to fidgeting and avoiding Damian's eyes while simultaneously assaulting his bottom lip.
Of course Damian was having none of that, openly displayed by him staring Jon down in an unrelenting manner, hands clasped together and supporting his chin in a way that politicians liked to use to emanate calmness and a superior kind of sobriety.
Jon, knowing Damian wouldn't let this go now that he had so openly acknowledged it, cleared his throat nervously and continued staring out the window of Damian's room, eyes following a few brown-green leaves that swirled past outside.
Fall was approaching fast and the weather was becoming stormier each day, leaving behind corpses of ridgid trees and a haze of grey, even more depressing than the usual Gotham.
“You know, I was thinking...” Jon started, his voice sounding a little raspy to his own ears, making him pause.
“As good as it is to hear you're still capable of that,” Damian drawled, annoyance sneaking its way into his voice for having to wait for Jon to continue, “I fear I'll have to enlighten you to the fact that this matter should not be one worth announcing aloud since it surely isn't THAT spectacular.”
Jon's eyes went back to Damian for a second to make sure the other boy caught the glare he threw him, before continuing.
“The thing is... you know.. have you never wondered about... well.. kissing?”
Despite his face turning red at the words just spoken, Jon stole a quick curious glance at his older friend.
Damian didn't look flustered at all but then again he was very good at maintaining a perfect pokerface that was often hard to read, even for those who prided themselves in knowing Damian pretty well.
Though Jon couldn't pick up any physical reaction either, so maybe Damian just didn't find his question embarrassing or important.
Not wasting time, Damian raised a casual eyebrow. “Kissing? What exactly do you mean 'wondering about it'? Isn't it pretty obvious how kissing works? Shouldn't your parents and basically every movie you've ever watched have shown you enough to know the basic procedure?”
Of course Damian would think like that, sounding this clinical and aloof even when it came to something deeply related to feelings, Jon – ever the romantic – thought.
“You know that is not what I mean,” Jon replied, rolling his eyes in the most exaggerated manner he could manage without his eyes hurting.
Damian now openly stared at him, slight confusion written on his face.
“I definitely do NOT know what you're talking about, Kent. Neither do I know why you deem it important bringing this topic up with me of all people. Of course I have extensive and all-encompassing knowledge on most topics but I would've thought that you'd rather ask your parents about a topic like.. this. They certainly seem like the more experienced ones.”
There wasn't a trace of insecurity or embarrassment in Damian's tone, he seemed genuinely confused instead.
Jon didn't refrain from smacking his hand against his own forehead, knowing how much Damian hated being treated like someone who didn't get the point.
“But that's exactly the point!” Jon cried out. “Of course I know how... how it WORKS. I'm not stupid!”
At this point Damian's eyebrows shot up again as if asking 'You sure?'.
“I know the... the PROCEDURE or whatever, you can see that everywhere but... I.. it's about how it FEELS.”
His face was as red as a tomato by now and Jon could basically feel the burning of his skin reach down his throat.
This was not the casual, laid-back conversation he had imagined.
“You know?” he mumbled exasperated, looking at his best friend's clueless face that – at any other time – he'd have enjoyed and put away in one of his 'best memories' drawers inside his head, had he had the head for that at that moment.
“Absolutely not,” Damian deadpanned, eyesbrows furrowing.
Great. His friend really was stupid when it came to things like these, Jon decided.
“What I mean is,” he breathed in deeply, trying to get the color on his face back under control, “I know how it works but I don't know how it FEELS and I'm curious about that.”
A quick look at Damian made him concretize what he meant even more.
“I want to know how it feels to kiss someone. And I want to know if you've never wondered about that, geez!”
Damian's face had lost its confused expression, he looked put-together as usual again, slightly stone-faced but there definitely was a trace of hesistance in the way he looked off to the side thinking before focusing of Jon again.
“I see.” He finally said, nodding to himself – seemingly satisfied with his own response – before going back to writing his history essay.
Jon gaped at him, his own eyebrows furrowing from annoyance. It really shouldn't be this difficult, getting an answer to a simple question.
“So... have you?” Jon asked, slightly irritated.br />
Damian just shrugged, looking up again before continuing to write.
“I believe it is normal to wonder about these kinds of things and wanting to experience them. It is part of the so called 'puberty' that humans go through after all. Therefore I wouldn't worry about or dwell on these thoughts too much.”
“So you admit that you've thought about kissing!”
The older boy put his pen down a little too harshly, looking back up at his friend again.
“Did you not listen to what I just said? I said that every human goes through puberty and that-”
Jon waved his hand about wildly, interrupting the other gleefully, not letting Damian's anger get to him.
“Yeah, yeah but you're human too!”
Damian gritted his teeth. “Excellent observation, Kent. Now, if we could go back to things that REALLY matter-”
But Jon cut him off again, now waggling his pointer finger in Damian's face.
“No, no, no, this DOES matter to me. I want to talk about this now, you're not getting out of this.”
“That is ridiculous, Kent-” Damian started again but Jon simply put his finger on the others lips.
Although he seemed surprised for the fracture of a second, Damian pushed Jon's arm away immediately, his reflexes kicking in before his brain could order him to execute the exact same action.
Not leaving it at that, Jon went on. “I'm not talking about all the teenagers in the world here. I just want to know how kissing feels, D. You know how it is.. it is everywhere and everyone makes it out to be this huge thing and... I want to know.”
Fine, okay, maybe he was downright pleading now.
Why did Damian not get what thought had formed in his head a few days ago?
Jon wanted to kiss someone and Damian and him were close... and Jon might have a crush on Damian since, well, forever. Okay, maybe not forever, but pretty long.
“What do you want me to do then? Don't you think literally EVERYONE ELSE would be a better person to talk to about this?” Damian shouted, looking downright done with Jon.
There was a short silence, only filled with both boys staring at each other.
“That's the point, D. I- I want to try it.”
Jon felt heat rushing to his cheeks again and internally rolled his eyes at his stupid body and its reactions.
Then again... maybe he WAS scared. Scared of how Damian would react...
“Look, Jon”, Damian pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing, “I'm not your personal relationship or feelings counselor or something but why don't you just, dunno, ask a girl from your school or whatever.”
Waving his hand dismissively Damian went back to writing. Jon stared at him, mouth agape and at a loss for words.
Damian didn't even know that he wasn't particularly interested in girls?
He didn't get it by now with all his observation skills and talent to read physical reactions?
Jon hadn't been prepared to have this conversation with his best friend on top of the kissing thing... well, this sucked.
But he definitely wanted Damian to know. Before anxiety and fear could build a freakin' castle inside him, Jon rushed out a short “I'm not into girls.”
His worries for Damian's reaction turned out for nothing though, when Damian simply shrugged and kept on writing, only commenting with “Boy or whatever else then.”
Jon exhaled, closing his eyes for a moment. Okay, well, at least Damian wasn't homophobic or bothered by the fact that his best friend was into boys.
So far so good. But maybe Jon should have checked Damian's preferences beforehand... he had just assumed that Damian was into boys as well, looking at how Damian hadn't shown interest in ANY female as far as Jon could tell and always hung out with guys instead...
This was turning into a huge dare for him, the so called 'Superboy'. Okay, time to prove how super he really was.
“So... ehm.. what are you into? What people I mean.. like... as in what gender do you like.. or not like, I guess... do you like anything? Not that you have to or I think that-” Jon rambled, face heating up even more with every word leaving his mouth.
Damian didn't look up when he cut Jon's painful rambling off graciously.
“I do not feel the need to compartmentalize my own or anyone's sexuality by applying terms or definitions to it that a certain society at a certain time deem fitting, nor do I dwell much on these thoughts since they are likely to be distracting and useless in the field.”
Wow, that was more of an answer than Jon had expected, to be honest.
Especially the last part of Damian's little speech didn't strike Jon as particularly healthy but what had he expected, this was Damian after all.
Instead Jon focused on the word's meaning. That meant Damian was into... what now? Nothing? Everything? His answer hadn't been much of an answer after all, had it?
A few seconds were enough for Jon to be sure that he was back at the beginning with the answer to his question.
Admittedly the only thing he had learned was that Damian seemed to be very accepting of all kinds of sexuality or preferences or did at least not consider it very important in general.It was quiet for a few minutes with Jon staring out the window again, trying to sort out his thoughts and thinking about how to continue his original quest and Damian finishing his essay.
Only when Damian put away his school work and started to get down onto the floor next to Jon, did Jon look at his best friend again.
Damian, who had been seated at his desk before, was now searching for something, probably the game console joystick or something.
Jon looked at his friend, the black turtleneck clinging to his body, the dark blue jeans shaping certain bodyparts especially well, his sleek black undercut and high cheekbones... and his heart accelerated without his permission.
Not like that was anything unusual whenever he hung around Damian but it was still very much unrequested, thank you very much.
“Have you ever kissed anyone?” Jon asked, a tremble in his voice, eyes locked on his friend.
He was pretty sure he knew the answer but it couldn't hurt to ask, right?
“Of course not,” Damian scoffed, sitting back down next to Jon after having found what he was looking for.
Before he'd lose courage, Jon decided to go all out.
“D, can I kiss you?”
Damian's heart skipped a beat, Jon could hear it very clearly, but there was no sign of surprise when Damian turned towards him.
His posture seemed cautious and he eyed Jon warily.
“Why do you ask me of all people, you idiot?” His tone was crude and repellent but Jon knew Damian well enough by now and he could tell that the other was trying to cover up his own insecurity.
Didn't mean the words and tone were what he'd hoped for of course.
“You're- you're my best friend and.. I want to.. I want to try it... kissing I mean. I trust you,” Jon replied, faking confidence to the best of his abilities.
There was a very short silence with both of them looking at each other before Damian's expression turned smug and aloof all of a sudden.
It looked a little fake to Jon but he couldn't be too sure.
“Let's say I allow this inept experiment to satisfy your ridicolous curiousity... what do I get out of it?”
For a brief moment Jon considered either getting up and leaving the room or punching the other in the face but then he thought about how far he'd come and now he really, really wanted to know how it'd feel to kiss Damian.
Letting Damian suggest something however would be downright stupid.
The older would come up with something mean or degrading and that meant that Jon needed to suggest something, quickly at that.
He wasn't sure if Damian used this request as a cover-up to kiss Jon, as in, if Damian wanted to kiss him as well, or if Damian truly hoped to get something out of it while thinking he'd only do Jon a favor like the great friend he was.
“If you kiss me then... then... then... I'll help you digging for some dirt on Jason by using my powers, super-hearing included!”
Damian knew very well that Jon wasn't allowed to use his powers outside of missions and especially wasn't he allowed to use his super-hearing outside of missions against someone else. Jon's father was very strict about this particular rule – invading people's privacy and yadda yadda – but desperate situations called for desperate measures.
And it wasn't as if Jason Todd had ever been nice to Jon or Damian anyway.
Nevertheless the insidious glimmer in Damian's eyes at the suggestion of mischief involving his older 'brother' (or whatever really) was slightly unsettling and Jon almost regretting going this far (inwardly he sent his deepest apology to the poor soon-to-be-victim that was Jason Todd).
“Deal!” Damian announced before Jon could change his mind and that was when Jon's empathy towards Jason Todd went straight out the window – together with his brain, it seemed because suddenly Damian came closer until they sat directly in front of each other, way closer than it was common for two friends hanging out.
“You may fulfill your wish now,” Damian roared in the most unromantic way possible making a rushing hand movement but Jon wasn't having any of it.
“We made a deal and the deal was that YOU would kiss ME.”
For a moment Damian seemed caught off guard but he quickly regained his composure, frowning nonetheless (probably due to this little detail escaping him).
“Very well,” he huffed, eyebrows still furrowed and now Jon could definitely hear his friend's heart beat faster than before.
It was his turn to smirk and he made full use of it.
“What? You afraid?” he challenged when Damian didn't make a move, seeming frozen to the spot.
Granted it wasn't very visible that Damian was nervous in any way but Jon saw the tension of the other's muscles that Damian tried to hide and the way his eyes flicked from Jon's eyes to his mouth.
All of a sudden Jon was extremely glad that their deal included Damian kissing him and not the other way around.
Jon wasn't sure if he'd have had the guts to do it, if he was being honest.
Actually DOING it... he couldn't help but swallow, anxiously licking his lips, his own heart beating away and palms sweating away.
Only now did it occur to him that Damian, who had trouble getting close to people, emotionally and physically, might not be able to overcome his usual apprehension towards everything including the reduction of space between people.
Still staring into each others eyes as if they were in one of the cliché sitcoms Jon's mum liked to watch, Jon tried to put as much warmth and trust into his eyes as possible, hoping it would help Damian in any way.
When it actually happened, it was over way too fast.
To be fair, Damian actually DID linger for a second but the feeling of warmth and softness was gone again in the blink of an eye.
Jon hadn't even managed to close his eyes with how fast the moment was over.
“That wasn't a proper kiss,” Jon blurted out before he could help himself. Sure, it had been nice but he wanted a real kiss...
Damian was about to retaliate when Jon piped up again: “We're not little kids anymore, Dames. Let's not... let's not kiss like it either.”
Instead of punching him, as Jon had almost expected it from his friend, Damian turned crimson, a pale red being noticeable under his tanned skin, making his embarrassment all the more obvious.
“I didn't even start, yet,” he growled, clearly even more tense now before closing in on Jon again.
This time Jon did manage to close his eyes in time though.
Now, here's the thing: Damian surely wasn't the shy kind of person or insecure (like...ever) but on the other hand it was a fact that Damian was as inexperienced and unkissed as Jon was.
In conclusion to this Jon had no idea what to expect of a 'proper' first kiss with his best friend.
He didn't however expect Damian to basically attack him while kissing him.Damian's hands grabbed Jon's sweater a bit too tightly for comfort and he pressed his lips against Jon's hard enough for both of them to topple over, Jon falling on his back.
Despite now lying completely on top of Jon, Damian didn't stop the kiss though and only used the opportunity to deepen the kiss with what could only be described as brutal strength.
Jon wasn't easy to injure, yes, but he'd still liked for Damian to tone it down a bit.
Feelings and gentleness definitely weren't Damian's area of expertise, that much he was sure of when Damian bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.
“Gentle!” Jon gasped loud enough for Damian to hear when he managed to shove his friend back a little between kisses.
Since Damian looked as if he didn't know what to do after that, Jon cradled his face with one hand and drew him in closer again, gently kissing his lips before using his tongue, for the first time being allowed to lead the kiss.
Surprisingly Damian followed his lead, adapting fast and slowing down a lot.
Their mess of a kiss turned into something sweet that left Jon's body tingling and his heart beating away at a speed that couldn't be healthy.
One of his hands stroked Damian's cheek, the other went through his hair and only now did Damian close his eyes as well.
Damian would never say it but Jon felt all the trust his friend had in him through the gentle movements of Damian's lips agains his and the way his fisted hand slowly let go of Jon's sweater.
Their kiss went on like this for quite some time before Jon deemed it safe to go a bit wild again without prompting Damian to basically launch into him.
Now that they had found a rhythm and their battle for dominance had slowed down considerably, Jon let the kiss get more heated again.
He felt Damian's hand tighten again, but Damian was nothing but a fast learner and seemed to actually try acting on instinct this time.
No doubt, there was nothing hotter than hearing Damian's breath hitch slightly when Jon pushed up his turtleneck a little to caress the skin there.
In no time they were downright making out on the floor of Damian's room, Jon rolling them around at some point to be on top.
Damian had stopped for a second then, his eyebrows furrowing as if he wasn't sure if he should allow this mandhandling but in the end he backed down, letting Jon's lips work their magic again (or at least that was what Jon liked to think).
It ended with Jon kissing down the scarred skin of Damian's throat, the bulge in both their pants obvious, Jon even grinding down on Damian slightly and the door opening to Dick Grayson. “Hey, little D, I'm visiting for-”
The beam on Dick's face disappeared faster than Batman into the night and Jon scrambled off a sour looking Damian only to see Nightwing retreat back into the hall with a downright crestfallen look on his face.The last thing they heard a few seconds later was Richard Grayson hurrying down the hall, seemingly talking on the phone to someone he had just called.
“I swear, Jay, it was OBSCENE. You wouldn't believe it. What do I do?? He's your little brother, too! Help me out here. He's still a baby... kissing ANOTHER baby...!”