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It's always so beautifull, in the beginning, isn't it? Everything is calm and bright and blue And you see him and you love him And you see him and that's all there is And you hear the trumpets blaring, and you feel your heart lifting And it's like the world is your's Isn't it magnificent? Talent is a funny thingSome people always have it, some people never have it, and some people have it, but need something very special to come along and tap into itAtem fell into the third categoryA celebrity at the tender age of sixteen, he had gone viral after a single YouTube video was posted of him singing to his catBy eighteen he was releasing his first album and going on tour, by nineteen he had won his first award, and now at age twenty-one, he was desperately seeking inspiration for his third album- the second, wich had been released the year before, was just winding down on it's tour, and though Atem had written a few poems here and a few music sheets there, he was really... barren for ideasHe had promised the label that he had been writing, sworn that he could keep up the original plan he agreed to to release an album every two years, but now at only his second attempt to make that commitment work, he was fearing that he would fall flatHe had two more months on the tour, then he would have to present what he had to the producer and see if anything was worth polishing for the albumHe doubted itHe was currently at a boring party, some birthday gala for an important contact in Tokyo who's name he hadn't caught, he personally couldn't care less, but he hoped by playing nice and appearing as a good, "social", celebrity, he would be allowed to take tommorrow away from his management and security team so he could get some inspiration in privateMaybe he could visit a museum or a park or something....He didn't know, and that's where all of the frustration wasHis first album had been a mourning peice, inspired by the death of his father, it had been a cathartic way to get his greif out, the second had been inspired by the suddenness of his life's change, how he had gone from the virtually unknown son of a politician to a world famous superstar almost over nightBut now....There was nothing special happening, atleast... nothing that made him really feelHe was contemplating this in his mind, expression listless and uninterested as he heard someone else walk into the ballroom, and when he turned, more out of instinct than true curiosity, it was as if his entire world changed againIt was as if he could hear the music going off in his headHe could hear the trumpets blaring, the voices climbing in octave, the piano keys and the violin strings....He could hear it all, and he felt, he physically felt different, as if he had just walked into another world, as if he had stepped outside and was hit with a blast of wind, blowing his hair back, cooling his skin, making him suddenly so aware- overly aware- of everything around himHis legs tensed, wanting to buckle, his breath held in his throat, his grip tightened around his glassThe man walking in was beautifull, and the music that Atem heard in his head when he looked at him was almost earth-shatteringThe stranger was tall and pale, with a mop of dark chestnut hair, and the most striking blue eyes he had ever seen....'How big...' Atem thought"Do I.. know you?" the stranger asked slowly, his eyes narrowing
'How blue....'
"Not yet," Atem confirmed quietly, stepping closer"But you will,"
'How beautifull.....
~+~ That was a year agoAtem had gone straight back to the hotel and had spent the next several hours writingHe had three new songs by morningAfter that he made a point to start hanging around Seto Kaiba- the owner of those big blue eyes- as much as physically possibleAnd in barely a month, he had enough material for his albumAdditionally, he found himself actually coming to like the other man- who he learned the day after their first meeting was actually an actorSeto was a ... strong personality, no doubtHe was brash and competitive and didn't really like people all that much, but he was also incredibly smart, dedicated, talented, and when you peeled back the initial layer of crustiness, he was very sweet tooBy the time Atem was done with the album, he was proud to call Seto Kaiba a freind- even if the actor himself didn't necessarily consider him the sameAtem had decided to keep seeing him, keeping talking to him, keep in touch with him as much as he could, as he continuously gained inspiration from himSure, it wasn't quite the crash of inspiration that the first time had been, especially with Atem having to limit his time with Seto, between both of their schedules clashing and the former often being out of town on tour, they talked through text alot more than they saw eachother in person, but it was still inspiration, and by the time Atem's tour was over, he was thrilled to discover that, finally, Seto had begun to consider him a freind as wellHis only freind, according to the actorAtem was kind of amazed that he had made it into such an exclusive circle, especially without necessary trying, but he was glad to be thereNow he was seeking inspiration for his fourth album, with a few songs he had already written and was polishing, he needed to see Seto again to gain what he needed for the restHe was happily located back in Tokyo for a wile, where Seto was currently filming a drama for TV as well as recording some voice work for an animated movieThey'd be in the same place for the next several months, maybe even longer, and he was more than happy for thatHe and Seto had even decided to wear matching costumes for Halloween, mostly due to Atem's persistent encouragement over it, they just needed to decide what those costumes would be nowAnd as Halloween was just around the corner, Atem had decided a trip to the costume store was necessarySeto should be done filming for the day any time, wich was why he was currently waiting in the studio lobby, scribbling little verses of poetry in his notebook, wondering absently if it would lead to another new song, and waiting for his freind"You're early,"Glancing up, Atem suddenly felt his breath catch in his throatHis eyes glued to the figure in front of himIt's weird how inspiration worksHow sometimes, you don't even seek it, it just hits you out of nowhereAnd you can't always explain why something inspires you, it just doesThat was how Atem felt in that moment, staring at Seto's form, dressed in green scrubs, with his hands in his pocketsIt was strange, but ... all of a sudden, he could feel the inspiration starting to gnaw at himHe knew something was there, even if he couldn't quite figure out what it was"What?"Blinking, the musician stared up at Seto again, shaking himself from whatever fantasy had started to form in his mind"Um... I'm sorry?""You're staring at me... and it's very unnerving," Seto noted, pulling his hands out of his pockets and crossing his arms over his chest"Sorry, I was distracted, shall we go?""Do you really think I'm going to go in costume?" Seto huffed back, making a vague gesture to the scrubs".... Right, I guess not, sorry,"Blue eyes narrowed again, his nose wrinkling a little, but he didn't comment on it, instead he just gave a vague wave of his hand for Atem to stand up"Come on, I'll change, you can follow me to my dressing room,""O-Oh.... that's alright, I can-""No, I want you to follow," he said suddenly, strictlyPursing his lips, Atem gave a small nod, deciding not to argue as he made his way to follow the other man"I want to know why you do that," Seto said suddenly, weaving through hallways and past other people, eventually making his way to his dressing room, with Atem following right on his heels"Why I do what?" the musician asked, legitimately stumped"Stare at me like that,"He opened the door, waited for Atem to enter, then it shut behind him"I don't-""Don't play dumb, it's a bad look on you, since the first moment we met you do this..... thing, like you're having a psychic vision or something, you just ... stare at me, unblinking, for the longest moment, with this weird expression on your face,""Hey-""I want to know what gives,""Nothing gives,""Oh? Well here's how this is going to work, you're going to tell me why you do that, or I'm not going costume shopping with you," he noted, leaning against the chair behind him and waiting expectingly for an answerAtem.....Atem could punch him for this"Fine, you want to know so badly? You're my muse,"For a moment, there was silence, before-"I'm.... your muse?""Yes, you're my muse, my inspiration, you inspired my entire last album and I have the sneaking suspicion that you will inspire this one as well,"Nevermind the fact that he had already been responsible for Atem writing several tracks of the album before he had even come to a good idea for what the overall tone and theme of the album should be to begin withSeto was silent for the longest time, presumably stunned, his mouth slightly open, staring at Atem in what the musician could only assume was disbeleif"I- .... are you joking?"Now Atem was just annoyed"No, why would I be joking? What a rude thing to ask!""Sorry I-... I'm your muse? How? Why?""Beats me," he shrugged back"I just know that you are, from the first moment we met, you've inspired me, I see no sign of that ending any time soon,""Evidently," Seto added blandly"Does it bother you?"The actor shook his head, finally pushing away from the chair and moving behind a small folding screen to start changing"Ofcourse not, I'm your muse, I inspire art- good art, at that, wich is even better, how could that bother me?"Atem found himself smiling, feeling his heart lighten more than it had in the last two yearsSeto knowing was... a releifA releif like nothing elseHe finally felt like he could get the most of this.... whatever this was"Then perhaps... you won't mind being in a few videos for me?" Atem asked hopefully, sitting slowly on the arm of the couch next to him, waiting eagerly for Seto's response, wich he knew the other man was delaying just to torment him"Sure," he finally said, stepping out from behind the screen in his street clothes"Provided my schedule allows for it,""Oh yes, ofcourse,""Then in that case, I would love to be in a few videos for you, just.... as long as the dirty dancing is kept to a minimum," he added, holding his hand out for the musician to take"Oh believe me, that won't be a problem," Atem smirked, taking his hand and giving it a small squeeze as he hopped off of the furniture and followed the actor out of his changing roomHe had a good feeling about thisSomething was telling him that this was on the right trackThings felt different than usual, more alive, more ... vivid, somehowAs if subconsciously, he knew that he was moving towards something brilliant ~+~ "So when do you start recording?""Next week, I have a few tracks already written that just finished getting polished up, I'll start recording the first one on Monday," Atem answered, typing a quick message to his manager that he would be out late as he leaned back on the couch, waiting for Seto to emerge from the changing room so he could help judge whatever costume he had dragged in there to start with"So then how soon will you be needing me for videos?""Mm, that depends, maybe a month from now, maybe several, depends on how soon I get the rest written and if I determine that it's important to release them in a certain order or if I even need to have them all written before recording any videos,""I'll start talking to my manager tommorrow then,"Before Atem could respond, the door to the dressing room opened and Seto stepped out, and when he did, Atem felt his breath catch in his throatThe familiar sensation of inspiration came over him as he stared at his freind, dressed as The Wicked Witch, in a beautifull, overly dramatic, theatrical quality gown and hatThe peices started quickly falling into place for im then, connecting the dots between the inspiration that was forming now and the inspiration that he had had earlierHe could practically feel his heart begin to acheEverything was pouring into him all at once and he could barely keep track of it all"Atem? You're making that face again, am I to assume that you see something you like?"
To put it mildly...
"I do," he beamed"I know what our costumes are going to be, and I know what my next album is going to be as well,"~+~Four months later, Seto Kaiba walked into the studio, looking around almost boredly before hurrying to make his way to Atem, who was sitting in one of the director chairs, clearly not in costume yet- unless the theme was supposed to be a t-shirt, yoga pants, and a headband- and munching on some kind of cereal straight out of the box"Seto!!" he chirped melodically, turning around and practically beaming at the actor"Sit, sit," he encouraged, nodding towards the chair next to himWith only the shortest moment of hesitation, he stepped forward, sliding into the chair next to his companion and staring at the box of cereal for a moment"Are you.... eating Chips A'hoy cereal....?" he asked in disgustNodding, the musician paused in his munching long enough to tilt the box in Seto's directionUgh, it smelled like processed sugar...."Want some?""Definitely not, are you even supposed to be eating that?"Atem only shrugged, plunging his fist back into the box"I can eat what I please, unlike actors, my career doesn't rely so much on my appearance," he teased with a smirk"Appearance be damned, I'm more worried about your health,""Health? You want to preach to me about health, Oh King Of Workaholism?" he scoffed"Atleast I'm ruining my health for a worthy cause, you're doing it just because you have a sweet tooth, although why you would chase that despicable junk instead of atleast having the decency to just gorge yourself on gourmet chocolate is beyond me, you can certainly afford it,""I don't like them as much,"That was his simple response"Regardless, are you even supposed to be eating those? Your manager doesn't mind?""Why would he? It isn't his business,""Because I've met Yugi, and he seems like the type to worry about things like that,"Atem was quiet for a few moments before stubbornly adding a few more bites to his mouthAh... Yugi must not be on set today....."So when do we start filming?""Well, I have my first scene in about an hour, you on the other and are not needed for several more weeks,""What? Then why am I here!?""I thought you may wish to see this," Atem replied simply, handing Seto a small stack of pages"Is this-?""My album, before you agree to anything, look it over and double-check, I don't want to hold you to anything that you're signed on for without knowing all of the details, so-""I don't need to know everything," Seto interrupted suddenly, setting the pappers aside"I know it's your project, I know you worked unbelievably hard on it, and those are the only things I need to know, everything else? Everything else is just details,"Atem was quiet for a moment, staring at Seto in amazement, before feeling a warm smile touch his lips and reaching out, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze"Thank you," he said quietly"Just........ thank you," ~+~ The time finally came for Seto to start filming his scenes, and Atem had never been more excited for anything in his lifeHe felt magnificentFinally being able to work with Seto all this time was like waking up to the best gift he could think of on Christmas morningAnd his freind certainly didn't disappoint"So the story is that a witch- you- fell in love with a preist, who, upon finding out that you're a witch, burns you at the stake, you survive and decide to pull your heart out and put it somewhere else so it'll never get hurt again, you go through years of swinging around from relationship to relationship until you fall in love with a doctor- me- who falls in love with you back and forces your heart back into your chest, then we live happily ever after, is that the basic storyline?""That's right," Atem confirmed with a nod, smiling up at the taller man, his heart hammering in his chest and his expression light and bright and warmThey were in costume nowAtem was in a long, gothic black dress and high heels, and Seto in scrubs and a lab coat, and though he couldn't quite explain how or why, there was something about him like this that was just... even more attractive than usual"How did you come up with this? Especially just from looking at me?"The musician shrugged, making his way onto the set for their first scene and smoothing his dress out a little"I don't know.... the day we went costume shopping, I saw you in scrubs and then in that Elphaba costume... and it just came to me,""Sounds like someone has a little bit of a doctor kink," the actor teased playfullyAtem snorted, shaking his head"Actually the medical professional in general kind of creeps me out, I don't mean that in a bad way but... everything concerning doctors and hospitals makes me very uncomfortable,""Yet you chose for the subject of your album to be a doctor and to film a music video in a makeshift exam room? Either you hate yourself or you get a kick out of things that make you uncomfortable,"Atem snorted, leaning back against the exam table as he waited for the director to get into place"It's... actually a little bit of both,""Don't do that,"He paused, staring at his companion in confusion"What?""Hate yourself, don't do that,"Atem found himself smiling, breif and bittersweet, but said nothing more on it, instead changing the subject back to the original point"Well, in this case, it's really just the second one, sort of... I can't put it into words that make any sense but... sometimes the things that frighten me are also the things I love... I don't mean that in a superficial way, like.... enjoying horror movies- although I do that as well- but... sharks, for example, are my favorite animal, yet some part of me is terrified of them, I watch them on TV and I can feel my pulse quicken, but I love them, I would jump at the chance to swim with them, even if it was frightening, the irony in this being that I haven't been to a doctor in over a decade and wouldn't go now if you paid me,""So you find doctors more terrifying than sharks?""Yes, but... I don't know, like I said it's hard to put into words, just as there's a ... a draw, to swimming with sharks, there's something attractive about this scenario that I can't quite pinpoint, it's weird... I don't usually feel that way, I didn't until I saw you in the scrubs,""Maybe I'm just that gorgeous that even something you're afraid of doesn't distract you from my sex appeal," he suggested with a completely serious faceAtem barked a laugh, grinning from ear to ear and reaching out to playfully shove himThough....He wasn't exactly wrong..... ~+~ Can't hold it back, I can't take the tension Oh, I'm trying to be good Want me to love you in moderation Well don't you know, I wish I could"Cut!!"
Dammit...
Not again"Atem, I need you to shift this way a little more so we can see your face, lip-syncing only works if we can see your lips move,"He bit the inside of his cheek, but said nothing, shifting his head up a little more and angling his shoulders back"Good, that's perfect, hold it there,"The music started up again and Atem did his best to concentrate on the music and lip-syncing to the words rather than the circumstances he was inHe hadn't realized when he was planning this just how difficult it would be to handle....He had been in plenty of sexually themed and sensual music videos before and he could always say with complete certainty that they never actually felt sexyThe hot lights, the eyes everywhere, the attention to detail and the focus he spent on making sure the lyrics were right, the director and the discomfort of not knowing his dancers past a professional level...They all mixed a very distastefull cocktail that looked great on camera but left him feeling almost uncomfortable, he could never wait for those days to be over, but this?He hadn't counted on just how much all of this was turning him on- Seto in particularThat was the key right thereSeto was the differenceThe fact that Atem was doing this with his freind, his muse, for once, instead of strangers....That made all of the difference in the worldAnd that was exactly why Atem was having such a hard time doing his job nowHis hands were cuffed above his head with the restraints built into the exam table, top of his dress unzipped in the front to reveal his dress, his heels digging into the leather of the table and his body shifting and squirming as sensually as he could in such a compromising positionMeanwile, Seto was standing over him, now sporting a pair of latex gloves and rubbing "alcohol" over his chest with a cotton ballIt was far from the sexiest thing he had ever done, but it felt so damn scandalous that it was hard to remember thatBut perhaps that was more because of how his body was reacting than anythingHe was immensely relieved that he was in a dress and had to keep his legs propped up and fidgeting, otherwise they wouldn't be able to film him from the waist down... as it was, his nipples were so hard he was seriously wondering if it bordered on pornographic, but the air conditioning was on and it was the middle of March so he could always just blame that on the cold, right?"Good, we've got it!" the director shouted, much to Atem's releifOne more scene....One more and he would be released from this ridiculous hellThey fast-forwarded the track, starting the next segment now, and Atem was suddenly yearning to be back where he was beforeBoy, you better learn (I just can't win) How to hold it in (Can't hold it in) And boy, you better learn (I just can't win) And I just can't win (Can't hold it in)Seto reached onto a large metal tray beside him, wich held a fake scalpal and a bowl with a fake heart in it, grabbed the scalpel, and approached Atem with deliberate slownessHe was truly impressed, for a scalpel that wasn't metal, it sure did gleam in the light...He started squirming more and more, the panic and desperation in his expression increasing as he kicked at the table and pulled at the wrist-cuffsSeto's free hand pressed down gently on the right side of his chest, his palm- likely unknowingly- pressing into Atem's nipple, and the musician just about died right there and then
'Cause I don't see the worth (I just can't win) I don't see the worth
Seto's face was inches away from his own now, and he was unable to stop himself from staring into those big blue eyes....His breath caught in his throat, his lips moving on their own but not really understanding a word he was sayingThe tip of the fake scalpel pressed gently into the left side of Atem's chest, just over his heart, and Atem couldn't break eye contactSeto looked so serious and determined, so in charector, not that it surprised him, but he really was a great actor
And I'm still try'na figure out if it Always, always, always has to hurt
The "scalpel" pressed harder into his chest, and fake blood poured from it's tip, creating a small stream down Atem's chest as Seto dragged the fake blade down in a straight lineAtem tossed his head back, faking gasps and desperate pants for air as Seto grabbed the heart and shoved it into the hidden sleeve over Atem's chest- ah the wonders of make up- to make it appear as though he had shoved the heart into his chestAs the song continued on, the fake heart started to beat, Atem blinking back crocodile tears as Seto cupped his face in his hands, making sure to leave streaks of fake blood from his gloves as he leaned in and gave Atem a kissYes....Yes!This was what he wantedThis kiss, be it a stage kiss or not, was what he had been craving, and oh gods, oh gods, it felt more heavenly than he could have ever imaginedIt was too shortIt ended too quicklyAnd Atem suddenly hated this song for not having a longer instrumental gap between the last verse and the last chorus
You want love
Someone off set clicked a button and Atem's restraints released, allowing him to spring up and wrap his arms around Seto
Moderation
Seto wrapped one hand under Atem's thigh and the other around his back, lifting him up like a ballroom dancer and dragging him off of the table
Moderation
Atem's hands dragged down Seto's face, cupping his cheeks and putting their foreheads together
Moderation
Seto was still spinning, slowly and carefully, to well planned choreography, and Atem was closing his eyes
Moderation
And the minute the word was out, they kissed again- still a stage kiss, but it still felt just as good as the first timeOfcourse the director yelled "Cut" and interrupted their moment seconds after, but that was ok, atleast they got it in to begin with"Alright, that's a wrap! We'll take a two hour break for lunch and then regroup for the church scenes,"Atem, who had reluctantly pulled back from Seto, gave a small nod as the actor set him down, straightening out his dress and sighing as he stared down at the blood on his chest"I have to clean up before I go anywhere," he noted with a slight snort, hoping that the blood hadn't stained the inside of his dressIt may technically be a costume but he was kind of hoping to keep it..."You can clean up here," Seto suggested, nodding to the sink in the counter behind them"Good point, are you going to clean me up then, Doctor?" he asked teasinglySeto, seemingly amused, smirked and pulled off his gloves, tossing them in the trash as he stepped closer"If you want me to,"....Oh, he hadn't expected thatHe had just expected Seto to make a snide comment and walk off, but...He wasn't going to kick this opportunity in the mouthThe rest of the crew was clearing out pretty quickly, so he gave a small nod of confirmation, noting the glint in his freind's eyes"Lay down then,"Atem wasn't even going to question him at this point, he headed back to the table and laid down again, his heart was racing all of a sudden, and whatever arousal he had been in the process of losing was back in full forceHe could only pray that Seto didn't noticeHe watched in pinched silence as the actor took a cloth from the top cabinet, wondering breifly in the back of his mind why a set for a music video was functioning as well as an actual clinic, and swallowed hard as Seto ran the cloth under the faucet"I hope it isn't cold,""I'm sure it'll be fine," Atem answered a little too quickly, feeling the blush rising to his cheeks at his own eagernessHe may have been notoriously sexual in his music for the last few years, especially since meeting his muse, but he had never actually... done anything intimate before, and he was starting to feel like that showed...Seto merely smirked, stepping closer and leaning over him, setting the warm, damp cloth against his chest and slowly wiping the blood offHe was suspecting that Seto was taking this far slower than he really needed to, but Atem couldn't find it in himself to complainHis heart was racing underneath Seto's hand, he could feel something tightening in his belly- excitement? Anticipation? Something....He was just trying to focus on keeping his breathing steady, but he knew that was a futile effort"All done," Seto noted a few moments later, tossing the reddened cloth into the sink behind him, but not leaning backHis voice sounded... deeper and huskier than usual, was Atem just imagining that, or...?Swallowing hard, the musician gave a little nod, sitting up and moving to swing one leg off of the table, but as he did-"Ah! Fuck!"Suddenly Seto's expression changed from one of temptation to one of concern, and he leaned back, his hand moving up to rest on Atem's shoulder"What's wrong?""Nothing just... my leg hurts..." he muttered back, shifting a little and groaning as pain shot through him"It really hurts...""Did this just start?""Yes, as soon as I started to get up," he sighed in response, bringing his hand up to his head and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration"Huh... lay back down, let me look at it,""Are you serious?""Yes, my brother is a doctor, I know a few a things,"Oh...That....
Well then
"Why don't you ever talk about him?" Atem asked quietly, slowly laying back down on the table and biting his lip"He doesn't like the spotlight, if I talk about him too much people will eventually figure out who he is and start nagging him to get information about me, or to get my attention, I don't want that to happen, right leg or left?""Um.. left...."A quick nod as Seto moved his hands down to Atem's calf, pushing his dress up a little and pressing his fingers gently into the flesh, causing Atem to suck in a breath, his heart nothing short of racing now"Does this hurt?""N-No... it's... further up," he mumbled backSeto nodded again, letting his hands travel up a little higher"H-Higher....."Higher....."H--Higher....""Atem, is it your thigh that's hurting?""Well.... the pain sort of... radiates...."And all of a sudden, his dress was pooled up around his hips, Seto's long, gentle fingers were pressing into the curve of his inner thigh, and Atem had to bite down on his hand to keep from yelping in pain"Ah, you pulled a muscle, I have medicine in my bag, stay here, I'll get it," he offeredAtem only gave a weak nod, his heart thundering in his chest relentlessly as he watched the actor raise up and move off set"Nice panties by the way," he noted belatedly, giving Atem just enough time to sit up and flip him off, face now glowing red beneath his dark complexionGreat....Wearing lingerie was hardly new to him, in fact, it was typically what he wore, but people didn't ... know that....What a terrible turn all of this took...And to make matters worse, there's no chance in hell that Seto hadn't noticed just how interesting Atem found this entire experience to beHe wouldn't have been able to hide is hard-on even in men's underwear, but in thin black lace?He may as well have just lit up a neon sign"Have you considered that maybe the reason you have a problem with doctors is a trust thing?"Where did that come from?"What do you mean?""Just that you don't seem to be having a problem with this, with me... this.... clinic fetish scenario you cooked up-""It isn't a fetish!""-you don't seem to be bothered by me, I would guess because you trust me? Maybe that's really what the problem relates to, you want to be able to trust someone, and you can't, you can't trust strangers with this kind of .... intimacy, this kind of privacy, so you fear it, but when you trust someone, you have no reason to be afraid of it,"That.... actually made senseAtem wasn't really sure what to do with that information, rolling it over in his head as the actor walked back onto set"Here, these will help," Seto noted, handing him a bottle of water and two little pills"Huh, is this my 'don't take candy from strangers' moment?" he asked teasingly, though he didn't hesitate to toss the pills back and chase them down with the water"It's your 'accept Tylenol from your long-time freind' moment," Seto snorted back, taking the water bottle away and gently pushing on the musician's shoulder"Now lay back down, I have a medicated cream I can rub on your leg,"Why..... did that sound so fucking filthy!?"You ... why do you keep that stuff on you?" Atem muttered, laying back down obediently and letting his fingernails dig into the sides of the tableHe might just die like this, he figured, either from arousal or embarrassment, he wasn't sure, it didn't matter"I pull muscles all the time, especially when I'm working on Essence Blue,""Ah... right..." he mumbled quietlyHe had forgotten that Seto had a part on a superhero show now....He must really pull muscles alotSeto gently pushed Atem's dress up once again, and the musician tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach as Seto poured some of the cream onto his fingers and gently pressed them into his inner thigh, the cold causing Atem to gasp and nearly jump off of the table, but he forced himself to stay still, to keep himself distracted and not get too .... invested in this scenario...."So, you shave your legs huh?""Shut up," the musician grumbled"I'm not criticizing, just curious," Seto winked playfully, much to Atem's dismayDammit, that wink was going to stay with him for the next hundred years...."I think that answer is obvious," Atem huffed back, forcing himself not to concentrate on the incredibly pleasurable sensation of Seto's fingers pressing, rubbing, massaging into his thigh....
Gods.....
"I like it,""You... do?""Sure, I like everything about you,"Wait, what?That jolted Atem out of is obsessive thought process, propping himself up on his elbows and staring downFrom this angle, and with his dress pooled up around his hips, he couldn't see the state of his underwear, all he could see was Seto's hand between his legs as the brunette locked eyes with him
Fuck
"What- ... you.... what has gotten into you all of a sudden?"Seto only shrugged, evidently finishing with the cream as he pulled his hand back"Well, it's occurred to me, seeing the state you're in with only a bit of clinic play, you may feel some form of attraction towards me,"
DAMMIT!
"I figured it would be in my best interest to express that I share that, an attraction to you, I mean,"......
Oh
"You... do......?""Ofcourse I do, you really think I would have participated in all of this if I hadn't?""I honestly don't know, you're a pretty dedicated actor,""Not that dedicated," he noted with a small smirk, moving up closer, one hand settling on the table beside Atem's chest, leaning down closer so that their faces were merely inches apart now"What I'm dedicated to, Atem, is you,""Oh....." the musician breathed back"Mm-hm, oh,"He leaned down closer still, cupping Atem's face gentle and pressing closer, taking his lips in a slow, breif kiss, pulling away much to Atem's frustration and now wearing a nearly predatory smirk, moving back down the table and resting one hand on the musician's leg"You know, during your treatment, I noticed that there's something else you may need to have examined," he pointed out casually, moving his hand up slowly, letting his fingers skim against the edges of Atem's lace pantiesAtem's breathing was heavier now, practically gulping down breath, arousal taking old of every nerve in his body by this point, right down to his fingertips"Is that so, Doctor?" he muttered back, his eyes dark and full of lust"Mm, I think you could benefit from a procedure that I specialize in,""Well by all means, you're the doctor, you know best,"That seemed to be what Seto needed to hear, his fingers hooking into the sides of the musician's panties and pulling them down slowly, bending down between his legsAnd as Atem tossed his head back, gasping and digging his fingers into Seto's soft chestnut hair, he began to hear music playing in his head, just like that first moment they metHe could hear the drum beat, he could hear the piano, he could hear the vocals....Then it's just too much, I cannot get you close enough A hundred arms, a hundred years, you can always find me here And lord, don't let me break this, let me hold you lightly Give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightlyHe inhaled, and felt himself floating, and the music filled his head, pulsed within his veins, and in that moment, he was happier than he had ever beenIn that moment, everything was perfectIn that moment, he was honestly, truly, happy
Oh, my love, how I wish that blue could last
He gasped, sitting up suddenly, his hands shaking as he blinked the sleep from his eyesEverything was wrong.....Everything was suddenly wrongHe swallowed hard, biting his lip as he looked around the room, the hospital room...."You're awake,"He glanced up at the door, a familiar face in front of him, familiar blue eyes staring back at himBut he realized, belatedly and agonizingly, that they weren't really familiar at all"I was beginning to worry,""No..." Atem breathed, glancing down at his hands, at the IV in his arm, at the hospital gown he was wearing, and felt the tears sting in his eyes
"Why are you staring at me?"
"Hm? I'm not,"
He was starting to remember....
"Yes you are, you've been staring at me since we started, come on... what is it?"
"I was just thinking.... how amazing it is,"
He was starting to remember, and he hated every second of itHe felt sick to his stomachHe felt the tears starting to spill out of his eyesNo.... no no no no.....
"What's amazing?"
"That ... all it takes is one person, one moment, to change everything for you, and you don't even realize it at the time, you can just be going on about your life, completely ordinary, and then you meet that one person, or you make that one decision, or that one thing happens to you, and you don't realize it at the moment but it's going to change your life forever, it's so quick, you don't notice until it's over, there's nothing you can do about it because the change is so intense... you can never go back to things the way they were, you are changed forever, your life is changed forever, and you don't even realize it until it's already happened,"
"It's coming back to you now.... isn't it?"Seto's voice is soft, it's gentle and it's compassionate, concerned and sympatheticHe hates it
"And I'm that change for you?"
He's crying now, full force, his breath heavy and his hands shakingSeto is walking closer, but for once, Atem doesn't want his companyHe wants to be alone
"No, I'm that change for you,"
**CRASH!**
This is the part where things get intense And you're not sure if you can make it or not You don't know if it's worth it Everything you thought you knew is changing And you're in a storm, tides breaking against your skin like violence, bruises decorating your mind like paint blotches And you're swept away in a tornado, like Dorothy, looking for Oz, looking for that magnificence you knew Will it stay this time? Will it be worth it? Will you ever land again? "So all of that was a dream then?"Two hours ago, Atem woke up in a hospital bed, and realized that the life he had been living for the last month had never really existed"Yes,"Seto sounded reluctant to answer him, and really, Atem couldn't blame him".... How? It felt too real to be a dream, it - .... how could I dream .. an entire life for myself... in a month?""You must have noticed parts of it were more vivid than others, certain things felt like distant memories that you didn't really experience, you had to start somewhere, somewhere that things stopped being a blur in the background and started being day to day life,"Yes....When Seto- no... Dr. Kaiba- put it that way, he started to rememberThe party, that was when everything changedMeeting Seto- his Seto- was when everything changedIt didn't matter anymore though, clearly"How could I have known things that ... I knew you, in the dream, how?""Sometimes when magic-folk undergo intense trauma, it awakens a part of them that they didn't know was there before, precognition, mediumship, telepathy, empathy.... it'll be hard to tell until you start experiencing whatever it is in your waking state, but any of those and more would explain it,""So now I'm psychic too?" he scoffed irritably, shifting a little in his weel chair and staring out listlessly at the sun rising in the distance, over the hillsIt may have been pretty if Atem wasn't stuck in his own personal hell"Maybe, we'll have to wait and see,"Seto had insisted that fresh air would be good for him, so here they were, on a balcony, watching the sun riseIt would have been romantic if this situation wasn't so severely fucked up"I don't understand .... why it all felt so real....."Slowly, the doctor moved from behind the weel chair, not even catching Atem's gaze as he shifted to sit in the chair next to him, his expression etched deeply with sympathy and compassionAnd Atem hated itIt reminded him too much of his Seto- the one he had dreamed- and yet was also a feirce reminder that that version of this man wasn't really him, it was just a made up version of him that Atem had stitched together from some bare-bones information he had psychically gleamed and wishesIt wasn't really himThat Seto was gone, he had never existed, and Atem wondered bitterly how he could mourn someone who had never really existed to begin with"Magic is energy, pure, raw, energy, magic-folk are just ... conductors, like an outlet for electricity to flow through, but when we go unconscious for an extended period of time, the magic loses that conductor, it becomes bottled up and if it isn't channeled somewhere, somehow, then when you finally wake up, it'll just.... explode, like a can of soda that's been shaken and then opened, so in these cases, your magic is put to another use, it creates elaborate dreams, so elaborate that they feel real, you forget your other life, you only know what your magic is telling you, and when you come out of it.... it can be hard, it can feel like losing a limb, and sometimes you have to relearn about the life you had before, and find a way to mourn the life you lost,""How can I mourn something that wasn't really?" he huffed"It was real, it was real to you, that matters, you have to greive, Atem, or you'll never be able to let go, and trust me, you don't want to hold onto something like that, it can hurt you far worse than this,""Worse than being hit by a car and almost set on fire?" Atem snapped"You have no idea,""Oh, and you do?""Yes, I was in a coma for six months, you thought your dream was realistic? It was one sixth of the time I spent in mine,"Suddenly, Atem felt like an ass, his lips tightened, he swallowed back his tears, and he hung his head, trying to keep the upset feeling to himself, he had already screwed this up enough, and in fairness, Seto had been nothing but kind to him since he woke up, he shouldn't be taking out his anger and greif on a total stranger, especially one so ... niceSeto Kaiba, niceNow why didn't that fit together?"I'm sorry," he said quietly"Was it... a good dream, that you had?""It was a nightmare, actually,"Atem glanced up slowly, utterly surprised by this information"That can happen?""Sure, a dream is still a dream, even a magic one, your magic doesn't try to ... give you a better life, or make you happy, it works like every other dream, whatever your mind is focused on in the moment, when you fall asleep, and whatever influences it has during that time, that's what manifests, the magic just makes it feel more real, it wraps you in a cocoon, makes it almost impossible to get out of it, until your body is healed enough to wake up,""Oh," Atem said quietly"I used to think it was cruel that I was stuck in a nightmare for so long, but now, looking at you, I wonder if it was just mercy,"Ha, mercy....None of this was mercy"Well I wouldn't go that far," Atem finally saidHe supposed he should count himself lucky, that he was allowed a month of happiness, that he wasn't stuck in a nightmare for so longNo, instead, he woke up to the nightmare"Was it.... all bad? Your nightmare?""No, it ended nice, was your dream all good?""... No, I had some bad days,""See? Just like real life, neither entirely good nor entirely bad,""Sure but compared to what I left, what I woke up to is still pretty shit,"He could hear the doctor snort out a laugh, and for a breif moment, he found his lips twitching up, before he remembered that this Seto Kaiba wasn't his Seto Kaiba and he felt hollow and empty again"Listen.... I want to make you an offer,"This actually caught Atem's attention, and he found himself glancing up for a breif moment at the doctor"I know you don't want to be here, and honestly you've improved enough that you don't have to be here, but you can't just.... go back to things the way they were, you still need a doctor to care for you, so.... why don't you come home with me? I'll treat you from there, until you're well enough to be on your own again,"Atem glanced up, eyebrows raising slowly in surprise and skepticism"Is this my 'don't take candy from strangers' moment?""No, this is your 'accept help from someone who cares about you' moment,"Atem didn't want to believe Seto cared about him, it would make all of this so much harder to deal with..."And the hospital is just.... fine with you doing that?""Ah... you've never been to a hospital for our kind before have you? No wonder you hate them so much, if the only experience with medicine you've had is human medicine,"Atem was about to speak to that, when something suddenly caught his attention"How do you know I hate hospitals?""Hm? I ... just assumed, by your extreme displeasure at being here,"Yeah..... Atem didn't believe that for a single second"Anyway, it's perfectly normal practice here, what do you say?"Atem didn't answer, for the longest time, he was just quiet, he didn't want to make any such decision".... Your freinds stopped by, the blonde idiot and the short one,"... Joey and Yugi..?"They salvaged what they coul of your belongings, but it wasn't easy, your house is no longer there, wich is part of why I offered for you to co-""My house is no longer there?" Atem repeated suddenly, the emptiness inside of him fading for a moment as he turned to look at the doctor"What the hell do you mean it isn't there? It burned down!?""No it- .... it just vanished, the popular theory is that when your ex fled town, he took the house with him, your short freind can't detect the spell he used to do it so he can't get the house back, but he atleast managed to track down some of your stuff through some kind of pocket dimension thing that he didn't explain,"It was.... goneHis home was gone?So not only was he injured, and dealing with the fact that he had an ex-boyfreind who wanted him dead, and mourning a life he had never had to begin with, but now he finds out that his home is gone too?He really did wake up to a nightmare.... ~+~ "What are you staring at?"Atem blinked slowly, glancing over his shoulder at Seto and smiling, his eyes gentle, leaning over the side of the bath tub and reaching out for him"Nothing, I was just thinking,"His boyfreind stepped closer, sitting on the floor next to the bath and letting his hand dip into the water, moving to rest on Atem's thigh, leaning closer and pressing a slow line of kisses down his backAtem inhaledExhaledMelted into the peace of the moment ~+~ "Will I ever stop having these dreams? Is this going to happen everytime I close my eyes?"
"I doubt it, it'll start to fade eventually, atleast that's what Grandpa says,"
Atem wasn't sure what was worseHaving these dreams about that life every night, or helplessly letting them fade away until there's nothing left of them anymoreBoth options were extremely depressing"I see," is what he finally ended up saying
"I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry Atem, I wish I could do something... I'm still trying to find the house but-"
"It's ok Yugi, you've done enough, it's alright,""It isn't alright!" Yugi screamed through the phone, causing Atem to wince and flinch away from it
"It is FAR from ok, Bakura deceived you, he caused this, he tried to kill you! None of this is ok and I'm not going to stop until I make things right!"
"It isn't your responsibility-"
"Maybe not, but isn't that what freinds are for?"
Atem only sighed, but it was lighter now, his expression gentle and warm as he leaned back against the pillows behind himHe wasn't strictly on bedrest but Seto- Dr. Kaiba, he had to keep reminding himself- still wanted him resting as much as possibleAnd with as depressed as Atem had been these last few days, he couldn't even bring himself to argue"You were my manager, you know, in my dream,"
"Oh really?"
"Mm.... you always looked out for me...."
"Sounds about right,"
"Yes... it does,"There was a pause, breif, before Yugi spoke again, his voice a little quieter, a little gentler now
"You know.... maybe this wasn't really a dream, maybe you're revisiting a past life,"
"Well unless Chips A'hoy cereal and Florence + The Machine music existed over twenty years ago, I don't see how that's possible,"
"I'm not saying every part of your dream was a memory, maybe your mind is just.... trying to weave together what it remembers from the past with what's happening in the present, and it created ... whatever you want to call this, but maybe the musician thing, the .. the actor thing, maybe all of that is from a past life, maybe you and Seto Kaiba knew eachother before, in another life, loved eachother back then.... wouldn't that explain alot?"
Atem fell quiet, his mood dropping like a stone into the oceanWhat was worse?That he had imagined his life with Seto, or that he remembered it from another life that he was no longer living?"Maybe," he relented quietly"Maybe...." ~+~
It was a nice day
The summer breeze felt good on his face as he stared out the window, inhaling, quiet and peacefull, but there was something more here... something he sensed.....
He turned, noticing a pair of soft grey eyes staring at him and smiling a little brighter
"Why are you staring at me?"
"Hm? I'm not,"
"Yes you are, you've been staring at me since we started, come on... what is it?" Atem insisted, his expression still light and amused
His partner went quiet for a moment, shifting his hands on the steering weel as he combed a strand of white hair behind his ear
"I was just thinking.... how amazing it is,"
Now more confused, Atem tilted his head, eyebrows raised
"What's amazing?"
His boyfreind glanced at him again, expression... contemplative? Considering? Unreadable, certainly...
"That ... all it takes is one person, one moment, to change everything for you, and you don't even realize it at the time, you can just be going on about your life, completely ordinary, and then you meet that one person, or you make that one decision, or that one thing happens to you, and you don't realize it at the moment but it's going to change your life forever, it's so quick, you don't notice until it's over, there's nothing you can do about it because the change is so intense... you can never go back to things the way they were, you are changed forever, your life is changed forever, and you don't even realize it until it's already happened,"
Atem felt himself smile even more, reaching out to turn down the radio by a notch or two, Florence Welch's voice dimming further into the background as he stared at his lover
"And I'm that change for you?"
"No," he replied, taking Atem by surprise, barely a single beat passing before his boyfreind continued
"I'm the change for you,"
And then, before Atem could question it, a car slammed full force into the side of their own
*CRASH*
"B-Bakur...a...?" Atem coughed, his eyes opening slowly, looking around, trying to see .. to... find...?
He wasn't in the car anymore
He was on the ground... the car was a few feet away...
Ah, he was wet... he was soaking wet, but what...?
His nose wrinkled, he could ... smell gasoline...
His head was so cloudy, he felt so out of it....
He could see though, he could still see...
Bakura's shoes, they were waking across the ground, he was alright?
Then...?
He gasped, feeling another splash of heavy, cold liquid fall over his back
What was happening?
Why....?
Why!?
He watched those same shoes as they walked away
Further and further, out of sight, behind the car....
There was a flame then, suddenly, the car caught on fire, and the flames were coming closer... closer....
Suddenly a wall of blue was up around him
Blue.....
There was someone in front of him, someone neeling down, strong arms lifting under his body, lifting him up
When Atem glanced up, all he could see were a pair of blue eyes.... big... blue... beautifull eyes.....
Atem gasped, jerking awake, shaking like a leafHe was sick to his stomach already, hurriedly dragging the blankets around him tighterHe was cold, but sweating buckets, his eyes stinging with tears as the memory replayed over and over again in his headWas that really a memory?Was it just a dream?He remembered that conversation with Bakura but....Had Seto really......?No, he decided, grabbing his hair and tugging in frustration as he closed his eyesHe had to have just been dreaming again ~+~ When he woke, he felt pain searing slowly through his armWrinkling his nose, he sat up, reaching out to start rubbing his arm, hoping the pain would dissipate"Morning,"Glancing over his shoulder, Atem found himself smiling, leaning closer to give his boyfreind a soft, slow kiss"Good morning,""How did you sleep?""I had the weirdest dream... and now my arm hurts,""Oh? Let me see,"Thinking nothing of it, Atem shifted his arm forward, allowing Seto to take it gently and slowly squeeze around his wrist, dragging his thumb slowly up and down, causing the musician to wince here and there in pain"Mm I see what the problem is,""You do?""Yes, it's been too long since you've seen your doctor, I gurantee that if I wrap a cuff around your wrist and bind you to the bed, you'll feel much better,""Will I?" Atem laughed"Yes, but to be safe, I really should conduct a thorough examination of the rest of your body, just to make sure that you don't need treatment anywhere else,""Well then Doctor, I suppose we should get started," he smirked, feeling a wave of calm wash over him as Seto leaned in closer and gave him a slow, soft kiss"Mm.... does your arm really hurt though?""Yes, I think I must have slept on it or something,""Probably," the actor noted, pulling away and rolling his shoulders as he slid out of bed"You should take some medicine, wait on it to feel better before we go messing with it,"Atem pouted, not at all happy with that, but knowing he shouldn't fight itSeto was right, as per usual"How long do you have before you need to leave for work?""Six hours,""Oh," the musician purred, his eyes lighting up, this must be one of Seto's late shoots then....Good, more time for them to play"So what were you dreaming about? You said it was weird," his companion noted, moving back to bed with a cup of water, some pills, and a bottle of pain-releiving cream"I... don't remember,"Huh, that was odd.... Atem remembered that he had a weird ream, he just didn't remember what his dream actually was"Was it a good dream atleast?".... Actually...."I... don't remember that either,"Seto looked breifly concerned, but ultimately shrugged it off as Atem took the pills, pulling him closer gently and giving him another soft kiss"Don't worry about it, you're awake now, with me, and that should be better than any dream,"Atem laughed, holding his arm out for his boyfreind as Seto popped the bottle cap open"Cocky bastard,""Yes but am I right?"Ofcourse he was rightHow could he not be right?"Ofcourse you are," Atem confirmed, leaning closer and pulling him downInto a kiss, onto the bed, into the sheets...."I couldn't be happier...." Atem jolted up, hissing in pain immediately and wrinkling his noseHe shifted a little in bed, grinding his teeth and curling in on himselfEverything hurt....Why did everything hurt?Groaning quietly in agony, he forced himself to lean up enough to atleast get a look at the clockJust after three in the morning, fucking perfect....Groaning again, he forced himself to get up, sliding out of bed and stumbling towards the bathroomHe was never going to get used to this, he feltThis house, this room, this bedNone of it was his, and he felt like a stranger here, like a different version of himselfHe hated itHe exhaled slowly, trying to get his mind off of things as he searched the medicine cabinet for an anti-inflammatorySnapping his fingers, the candles lit, providing him enough light to keep searching but not so much that it burned his eyes, and finally sighed in releif when he found both herbs, and pillsSurely a combination of the two would help, right?So he took two of each eagerly, sighing as he leaned against the counter, wondering breifly if he could watch TV without waking the other manSe- ... Dr. Kaiba's room was right across from his, but surely if he was quiet...One thing was sure, he couldn't sleep like thisHe turned around, mind made up, and shreiked suddenly upon the sight of the doctor standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but pajama pants"What.... what are you doing!?""I heard you stumbling around and figured you might need something,"How had he....?"I.. I'm alright, I'm just... aching," he muttered back quietly"Where?""Everywhere,"That made the taller man frown even deeper, taking a step closer and gently placing a hand to Atem's forehead, a soft, blue glow emitting from his fingertips"Mm.... you were tensed up in your sleep, your magic is cramping,""... It does that?""Yes, what kind of terrible parents did you have that you don't know this stuff?"Atem exhaled slowly, rubbing is sore arm and trudging out of the bathroom"I'm only half witch, on my mother's side, she died when I was a toddler, my father didn't know any better so ... I didn't really start learning about myself until after he died when I was sixteen, I moved in with a family freind who was actually connected to his magic..."He shrugged off the rest, figuring it was self-explanatory"Oh," is ultimately what the doctor's response was"Well, come on, let's go down to the clinic, see if I can help with the pain,""What clinic?" Atem asked in confusion, following the doctor as he started out of the bedroom"The one in my basement?""You have a clinic in your basement!?""I told you it isn't all that uncommon to bring patients home,"Atem huffed quietly as he followed him down the hall, nose wrinkling slightlyThis witch stuff was both intriguing ... and almost concerning....But he didn't have any room to complain or even question it right now, he was in too much pain ~+~ The clinic was different from an average one in some waysThere were no bright, overhead lights blinding him, instead the room was lit with candles, the light more than enough to see but still dim and calmingThe exam table looked exactly like the kind in a doctor's office, but it wasn't uncomfortable at all, in fact, it was as comfortable as a bedThe room was comfortably warm and Dr. Kaiba was back in his scrubs with a snap of his fingers, they were a pretty dark blue color, soothing...Instantly, Atem decided he liked this much better than the typical human clinics he had been to in the past"Were you dreaming again? That would explain why your magic cramped like this," he noted simply, walking over to where Atem was currently sitting and taking his hand gently, slipping a small clip over his finger, noticeably resembling a heart monitorHuh...".. Yes, I was dreaming," is all he ended up saying, watching in amazement as a pretty, soft blue stream started to move from the clip up his veins, lighting- presumably- his entire bodyThe light was so pretty.....But it soon turned from blue to a faded burgendy shade, drawing a quiet, considering hum from the doctor"Yes, it's a cramp like I thought,"With that said, he walked back over to the counter, opening a drawer and pulling out a small bottle along with a plain sterile package"I know you don't like needles, but this will help you feel better,""No," Atem insisted immediately, tensing and backing up against the wall behind him"Atem-""I. Said. NO!" he shouted backSeto exhaled quietly, but shoved everything back in it's drawer, walking towards him again, clearly frustrated, but trying not to act on it"Alright, alright.... but I'm not going to just let you stay in pain so.... let me try another treatment?"Clearly Atem was hesitant, but ultimately nodded, even though he didn't move any closer"Good, lay down for me?"Nodding again, he slowly laid back down on the table, his body tense as the doctor gently took his hand, that same blue light from earlier emerging from his fingertips, but now sinking into a deep, royal shade, rather than the icey blue from beforeHis touch was pleasantly warm as he pressed his fingertips into Atem's, and he found himself slowly relaxing and letting go of his fears and reservations as Seto slowly dragged his fingers into the center of his palm"How did you know I'm afraid of needles? I never indicated it to you before," he pointed outHe had even had an IV in a few days ago and not seemed to mind- he had, but at the time he was suffering so much from the emotional devestation he was under that he couldn't have really brought himself to notice at the time"I... your freind told me, Yugi, was it?"Bullshit...He was blatatly lying now"You know a freind once told me that the reason I'm afraid of doctors is because I don't trust them, you lying to me really doesn't help that case at all,"Seto glanced up, his expression unreadable, his fingertips still gliding gently over Atem's dark skin, dragging the dark blue light along with it"You've done that alot, haven't you? Lied to me? There are so many things that just don't add up, so many weird things, coincidences, that don't make sense... why don't you just be honest with me?"He was quiet, too quiet, and Atem was getting ready to tell him where he could shove his stethescope and leave when he suddenly spoke, as if on command"Remember I told you that I was in a coma for six months once?"".... Yes,""Remember that I told you when magic-folk go through extreme trauma... they develop an extra sense? Like telepathy, empathy.... precognition?""....... Yes......""When I was sixteen my adoptive father- who was violently anti-magic- tried to kill me after a magical outburst, I'm the one who ended up killing him but ... the trauma I sustained caused me to slip into a coma, I had a terrible nightmare, it lasted for what felt like years, where I was just.... stuck in darkness, suffering under the shadow of my adoptive father, but then .. I saw you, in that last month, you came to me, you saved me, we spent that time together in my head... you healed me, cared for me... I fell in love with you there, but when I woke up I feared you were just a figment of my imagination, until a few weeks went by and I started having visions, of you, of us, of this... over the next few years I started to peice things together, I realized that you and I were meant to meet, so I took the steps I needed to take to insure it, I became a doctor, I moved to Domino, I made sure I was waiting for you, when you would need me the way I needed you, throughout your time in the hospital I tended to you, and occassionally talked to you, you must have heard some of what I told you, other times you must have just... felt what I was feeling, felt my pressence, intuited things about me, you've probably developed an empath's powers to some extent,""You... had visions of me?"Suddenly the memory flashed through his mind of Seto at the scene of that car crash, saving him....He wondered...."You knew ... when the .... when crash happened, you saw it and you came for me.... didn't you?"He would take Seto's lack of response as a yes, and Atem.... wasn't sure what to make of thisAny of thisHad Yugi been right, that they had been together in a previous life?Was fate trying to bring them together again?Were either of them really in love with the other if they only really knew eachother through dreams?Or were those dreams really dreams at all if they were conjured by visions of the future and the sensing of another person beside you?Atem didn't know, and for the time being, he didn't careAll that mattered to him right now was that he had a chance, small and fleeting, to regain some part of what he had lostIt wouldn't be the same, he knewBut it would be good enough, it would be close enough, hell maybe it would even be betterHe sat up, wrapped his arms around Seto's neck, and dragged him closer, into a kissIt was slowIt was timid and softIt wasn't at all like the arousal-fueled, filthy and kinky vision he had conjured in his first dreamIt was betterIt was so much betterThey hadn't known eachother and yet they had known eachother for so longIt was as if finally, finally, two peices of the same puzzle had finally clicked togetherAnd the releif that poured through him from that was utterly indescribableSeto cupped his face, he pressed closer, and Atem could feel not only the tears stinging his eyes, but the dampness against Seto's face as well"I missed you," Seto breathed, his fingers starting to gently sweep through Atem's hair"I missed you too," Atem breathed, even though his mind was still struggling to process all of this- to process any of this- he knew that, somehow, this was rightThis was what was meant to be, and who he was meant to be, and who he was meant to be with"I have waited so long for you... Atem,"Atem gave a quiet laugh, smiling sweetly, hugging him closer"Sorry..." he said softly"I won't make you wait again,"
You will, darling, you will
"Are you sure about this?""I'm sure,"Seto nodded slowly, sighing quietly as he stepped onto set, slowly undoing his robe and letting it drop to the floor as he laid down on the soft table behind him"How did you think of an exam room like this anyway? The candles and the table and everything,"Smiling gently, Atem gave a shrug as he walked closer, the trays of paint on a table next to himHe himself was already covered in several different blotches of colors, and he was more than excited to paint his boyfreind for their videoHe just needed the music to start"I don't know... I think maybe I saw it in a dream," he mused, leaning down to give Seto a small kiss, letting his red-painted fingers drag a trail down is neck, tracing a little heart over his chest, smirking up at him playfully"Cute," Seto noted blandly, his expression nearly blank, but Atem knew he was amused too"Is it?" he asked teasingly, dipping his fingers into some purple paint beside him and dripping it onto the other man's shoulder"Aren't you supposed to wait for the director?""Maybe," Atem shrugged back teasinglySeto just snorted, sitting up and dipping his fingers into the tray of blue paint, flicking some at Atem, much to the musician's dismay, a shreik leaving himAnd then, the music started to play, even though the director hadn't spokenHow deeply are you sleeping Or are you still awake? A good friend told me You've been staying out so lateAtem didn't careWithin moments the two of them were having a paint fight in the nicely decorated exam room, both of them laughing joyfully, beaming with happiness as paint flew between them, coloring their skin, splattering in their hair, Seto lifted him up at one point and switched places with him, pressing him into the table and kissing him, slow and long and deep, dragging his fingers down Atem's cheek and drawing a few gentle giggles from his chestHis eyes open, pretty garnet blinking up at Seto's deep blue, and suddenly he wrapped his arms around the taller man"I love you,"Seto's eyebrows raised, but he didn't seem overly concerned"I love you too, what brought that on?"Atem only shook his head, pressing closer, inhaling, pressing their foreheads together and cupping his face"I just... love you, I love you.... thank you .. I love you..." This is a journey This is an odyssey It isn't over, how could it be? When you're so young and he's so young and you both have so much to do, and so much to say, and so much to create with eachother You see him and you love him And suddenly it doesn't matter anymore, if it's a storm or a tornado or a blue hurricane You see him and you love him And even when you're swept away, even when all you see is red and black There is that blue, he is that blue, you see him still You see him and you love him When Atem opened his eyes, he remembered that that life was just a dream, and for a moment, breif as a blink, it stung, but when he turned over in bed, he saw Seto's sleeping face next to him, and it was suddenly okHe missed that previous life, yes, but...He loved this one too muchHe wouldn't give it up for anythingHe couldn't give it up for anythingHe found himself crawling forward, gently moving to settle himself on top of Seto's thighs, gently pinning the doctor's wrists next to his head and dropping his head closer, giving him a slow, long, loving kissAs hoped for, he began to kiss backHe pressed his head closer, he chased Atem's lips, he arched his hips and they simply indulged in eachother for the longest, longest moment..."Good morning to you," Seto said softly, his lips ticked up into a grin as he stared up at his boyfreind"I take it you had a good dream?""Yes," Atem decided softly, cupping Seto's face and smiling gently down at him"I had a great dream.... but I have a great reality too,"Seto only chuckled, not fighting his partner's grip as he pressed up closer for another kiss, breifer this time, mostly letting their foreheads press together"Good.... I'm glad to hear it,"Atem was quiet for a moment, is expression gentle and warm, but distant, clearly thinking of something.... something"Why are you staring at me?"Atem shrugged, simply and innocently, and moved one hand down, cupping Seto's face as he stared into his beautifull blue eyes'How big...' he thought"I just.... I just love you, that's all,"
'How blue...'
"Well I love you too, what brought that on?"
'How beautifull....'
"Nothing, I just felt like saying it," he replied, closing his eyes for a moment, inhaling, exhaling, letting himself indulge in every part of this, every part of himHe found it amazing, he wasn't a musician but when he looked at Seto, even now, even though it had been six months since he first woke up from that dream, he still heard musicHe could hear the trumpets blaring, the drums in the distance, he could hear the piano and the vocals....And at the same time, he could somehow feel the magic in his veinsHe could feel it within him when he looked at SetoThe doctor always described magic as a form of art, as a muscle yes, but ultimately as artHe supposed it made sense thenAfter all, Seto was his muse
And that's all that matters anyway