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„And at home, kids, your task is to finish exercises one and two“, Brian smiled broadly as he scribbled said page of the book down onto the blackboard. The bell rang and his class of six-year-olds cheered, packing their material into the colorful school bags and greeting the Friday afternoon with laughter and joy. Brian May, the young teacher, remained inside the light green painted room with one of his personally favourite students, waiting for him to be picked up. Outside, it had turned to be autumn. Colorful leaves were falling off the trees, dancing in the October wind. „So, Jasper, tell me about your plans for the weekend“, the tall, curly haired man said to the kid, chatting while he was correcting some Maths test from his third-graders. He received a smile for that. Incidentally, he was eating a pear he had pre-sliced, and offered Jasper a bite, but he refused. „I'm gonna stay with Uncle Roger for the weekend. He's one of my fav people in this whooole widee world, but I don't see him very often. Daddy and Papa are in Vienna, presenting their latest collection“, the blond boy explained in a happy tone. „I wish they could've taken me with them, but Uncle Rog and I have to look for the cats. Plus, he promised to take me to the zoo.“ Jasper's adoptive parents were famous fashion designer Freddie Mercury and his husband, the photographer John Deacon. Brian had met them a few times, they were very loving and born caretakers, sadly they spent a lot of time abroad. „Hello there, chap.“ A raspy, yet quite high voice added into the scenario. In the doorframe appeared a man, pretty short, his long blonde hair messy, framing his sharp features. His blue eyes literally pierced Brian, but in a good way. He waved towards the boy and grinned. „Roger!“, Jasper cheered. He wanted to jump up from his chair, glanced at his teacher as if to ask for permission, and as Brian nodded, he did and hugged him crushingly. Roger, meanwhile knelt down to be face to face with the little man. „Glad to see you, little one. Dad and Papa already arrived, they texted me. We should call them later, but first-“ „Ice cream! Ice cream!“, his best friends' son chanted and his green eyes lit up even more in excitement. Roger laughed. Brian found his laugh melodic, just - beautiful. „There you go, lad.“ „Have a nice weekend“, the teacher said, clearing his throat, and looked up at the loving scene. He really didn't want to third-wheel in what seemed so intimate. „Oh, hi“, Roger said as he looked up. „Sorry, that was not very polite. I'm Roger Taylor, and I-I..“. He approached Brian and stopped once he could properly see his face. With his queer best friends never leaving his side and making sure he knew all the advantages of being with the same gender, Roger had to admit, his interest in men had been awoken too. Brian was hot, pretty much so. Tall, slim, an adorable head of brown curls, soft voice and attentive hazel eyes. He wore tight jeans and a yellow-red-blue striped jumper that would've looked outright silly on anyone else, though, but Rog was sure Brian could pull off everything. „I'm Brian May, Sir. Jasper's teacher and the head of this school.“ With that, he stretched out his hand for Roger to grab. Long, bony fingers with almond shaped nails.„N-nice to meet you“, Roger blushed and had to blink a few times, realizing whether or not he was dreaming. He decided to shake Brian's hand. They fit perfectly. And hell, how warm and good it felt. What a thing to think about your godson's elementary school teacher. „Oh, I- I got that permission paper that Freddie, I mean, Mr. Mercury wrote so I can take Jasper with me.“ He fumbled with his bag whilst Brian nervously arranged some of the test papers spread over his desk. The taller man blushed too, his eyes scanning Roger, his white shirt with the top unbuttoned revealed his smooth chest, with that he wore striped pants and a brown coat. „Oh, here it is“, the blonde smiled and handed him the paper. „Great“, Brian said and Roger almost melted at its calmness. „Jasper, pack your material and then Roger here will take you out on an ice cream.“He looked at it, and realized it said Roger Meddows Taylor MD. „Not to be nosy“, he whispered with great appreciation, „but you're a doctor?“Roger nodded and smiled. „Yeah, I'm a dentist, well, paedodontist to be precise.“„Wow, that's so cool. Like- It's quite unusual with your friends being all artistic and you taking up a medical career-“ Brian smiled enthusiastically. „Sorry, I mean, that's probably way to private.“„No, no, it's okay. What do you teach?“„English, Maths, Biology and Music“, Brian listed. He turned his head to look at the doctor who was standing next to him, and during that action a curly strand of hair fell into his face.Roger, not thinking about it at all, raised his hand, and carefully took Brian's hair between thumb and index finger. He tugged it behind his ear, his thumb lightly stroking Brian's cheek. Their eyes met, with little hesitation, so Roger shrugged and drew his hand back. „Sorry. Um, I didn't mean to send that kind of signals“, he laughed to push the insecurities away. What if I liked it?, Brian asked himself. „Uncle Roger!!!!“, Jasper's voice came from the other end of the room. „I'm hungry!!!“Both men had completely forgotten him for the short time, and they felt guilty for it. „Goodbye“, Roger breathed. „Ha-have a nice weekend“, Brian smiled. „And fun at the zoo. And a huge ice cream bowl, with chocolate sauce.“ He winked at Jasper, and the boy ran to him to hug him. „Or“, Jasper started and looked to Roger, then up to Brian and then back to Roger, „How about you join us, Mr. May? You've got no cats waiting, do you?“„No, Jasper. Actually, I'd love to.“
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Brian looked so awfully sweet with his red woolen scarf wrapped around his neck that Roger feared he might die of a sugar overdose.He really couldn't stop staring at him. The tall man packed his stuff into his huge leather bag quickly and left together with Roger and his pupil. „I can take you with us- in my car- if you wanna?“ Roger asked and blushed, looking at him shyly, his blue eyes radiating relaxation and friendliness. Brian found himself thinking that Roger must be a really good doctor whom all his patients (and apparently also their mothers) loved. He nodded and practically beamed at him.„If it's really okay? I-I don't want to interrupt you in catching up-“, he said as he wrapped the seatbelt around Jasper's hips in the back of the car. „Don't you worry, Mr. May. We're fine. I'd love your company, actually. I don't deal with adults very often“, Roger spoke and his mouth curled up in the attempt of a breathtaking little chuckle.„Well“, the teacher smiled, „neither do I.“ „So, have a seat.“ Roger drove concentrated and carefully. Brian found himself in awe at how Jasper chatted with his father's best friend, making casual conversation and even asking about Roger's love life. Brian learned that Roger is really talented at playing music, especially drums (plus, he was single, and that was quite good too).„You know, Uncle Roger, Mr. May is a fantastic singer and he also plays guitar and piano. It's so cool! Oh, Mr. May, could you sing for us?“ Jasper cheered enthusiastically, wiggling his legs in anticipation. „Pretty please!“ Brian chuckled at that. „Sure, Jasp. What do you want to listen to?“ „Hey Jude. I loved when we sang that in class with you.“ The driver's icy blue eyes lit up at that. „Oh damn, the Beatles are absolutely gear! I adore them.“ Brian turned to look at him and flashed him a smile. „Honestly, who doesn't?“ He hummed the first notes and then started to sing. Jasper joined in, making Roger chuckle to himself the whole ride. The elementary school teacher really had an amazing voice, soft, calm and so beautiful. Roger was hardly able to believe he hadn't jumped at the chance of becoming a professional musician. Just as the Nanananananana-part started, Roger turned off the motor. „Sorry to interrupt you, but we're there. Didn't I promise someone a huge chocolate ice cream?“ „Yayyyy!“, Jasper laughed and unbuckled his belt, jumping out of the car. The wandered over to the café and sat down underneath a huge lime tree. „So? What's your favourite flavour?“, Brian asked as he shared the menu card with his student. „Chocolate and strawberry!“, Jasper answered without any hesitation. „And yours?“ „Lemon“, Brian and Roger spoke at the very same moment. The coincidence made both of them laugh. Brian's poodle hair flew around in the soft breeze while he chuckled, forcing Roger to study this beautiful being even more intensely. Not that this was some kind of burden. „Ewww“, Jasper commented, curling his pouty lips. „As Daddy would say, you two are nasty, darlings. Anyways I take a chocolate cup with cookies and cream.“He repeated his order when the waitress arrived, feeling proud and perfectly adult. Roger and Brian both went for a lemon-banana ice cream with added nuts.They spent a great time talking about anything and everything. „Could you tell me where to find the toilet?“, Brian asked after about thirty minutes, perfect manners and god, this voice Roger couldn't get enough of, so soft and relaxed. „You'll just turn to the left and then head to the last door on the right side. „Thanks, Doctor Taylor.“ „Roger“, the dentist said and offered Brian his hand. „Roger- ugh, right, I'm Brian, as-as I told you like- an hour ago“, the taller man blushed incredibly at that and tried to make the hand shaking less awkward. He didn't succeed. Roger shot him a smile that sparkled up his eyes. Brian, by now, had a little too much hope for him being gay. He just had to, after all, he was Freddie Mercury's best friend. Still ashamed, Brian wandered off to the toilet and locked himself up in the stall. His problem was what Roger had done to him, even with so much as a mere smile. Little Brian in his pants was aching, pulsating and longing for a touch, best by a certain blonde paedodontist.It made him feel like a dirty whore, getting hard from that, especially since he really liked Jasper and it felt like destroying the bond they had had from the very beginning.So, the teacher grabbed his cellphone to make a call. „Mary? Are you able to talk?“ „Hey, Brian! Yeah, indeed.“, his friend greeted. „Please kill me“, he stated, tone dead serious. „Hang on, what's it about?“„I-I“, he sighed and let his head fall against the door. „I'm currently on a date – well, you could call it that, with one of my students and his godfather, and he-he is just so precious, y'know? He's short and blond and got the most divine blue eyes I have ever seen. And he's a paedodontist- My god, he's so cute, I can't handle that!“„So, what's the problem? Seems that he's a lovely guy. Tell him!“, the woman suggested. „Are you insane? I can not tell him!“ „And, why exactly?“„Because-“, Brian ruffled his hair with his hands and moaned full of anger at himself „because I'm hiding in the bathroom due to the boner he gave me.“„No way!“, his friend cheered and giggled. „What exactly did you two do in front of the poor kid?“ „Nothing. He just smiled and it's so magnificent it nearly made me kiss him in that very spot, which is, an ice cream bar for elementary school kids, after all.“ „You've got it bad, boy. Come on, just go and try to tell him.“ And with that, the line went dead. „Thanks for being such a good friend, Mary“, Brian whispered a curse to himself, before realizing his erection had gone. He still felt pitiful, though, but he went back. „Maybe I should go and look for Brian, he could've hurt himself“, Roger declared in the meantime, nervously fumbling around with the napkin he had received alongside his espresso. „You like him, don't you?“ Roger hesitated and faced his godson, before whispering. „I think he's very stunning and smart.“ „He is“, Jasper agreed. „Also the best teacher in the world. Mr. May is making school time nice every single day. He's a real rock star.“ Roger couldn't suppress it but to smile at the very comment. Jasper had been raised by Freddie in John in a way that made honesty and sincereness rule #1. „I'm saying that maybe it would be helpful if you actually told him instead of just sitting here and falling in love silently.“ „Oh, shut it, you sound just like your daddy.“„But I'm right“, Jasper winked. Indeed, he was. Roger was screwed. How the hell did he manage to fall for Jasper's fucking teacher, of all people? Things would only get complicated.
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Brian didn't manage to sleep at all that night. He felt overwhelmed by embarrassment, guilt, and most of all, true and utter shame. He'd been there, with his rock-hard boner, chatting to Roger, and even more importantly, Jasper. How couldn't he be guilty? He was Jasper's class teacher. Now he was lying in his bed awake, 4 am, his guitar in his lap surrounded by Simon and Garfunkel sheet music he was trying to play. His curly hair was messy, his hazel eyes bloodshot, terribly tired. He wore a pair of sweatpants with a comic t-shirt. In his hand, he held the permission paper, staring at the typed letters astray. The gaps Roger had filled in with his bold handwriting. The elder man rang his finger along as if that would make the dentist appear right in his room. Brian knew it was stupid. Much so. Even worse than that, it was forbidden. Well, Roger and Jasper were not related by blood, but still it made the little voice of responsibility screaming vigorously inside his head. „If only you had an idea how badly I wanna call you.“ Brian didn't usually believe in love at first sight, but the blond had surely convinced him otherwise. Plus, it had been a year since his last romantic encounter. He felt desperate, but even more than that, he wanted to see the outright stunning dentist with a great humor, music taste and tactfulness with kids. „Heyyyy!!“, Jasper cheered the next morning, holding the telephone close to his pouty little mouth. His godfather was sitting behind him, the little boy leaning against Roger's chest, who had wrapped his arms around him. „Jasp, darling!“, his Daddy literally sang, „How are you, my dearest?“„Great, Daddy! We're going to the zoo today, that'll be so cool! And yesterday we were eating huuuuuge ice cream bowls! Rog even showed me how to trick the cats“, he giggled. „Hello, Jasper“, sounded John's voice. „We miss you, dear!“ „I miss you too, Daddy and Papa. Can't wait to see you soon. But Rog's lovely too, don't worry.“ „Hey, Fred and John!“, the dentist bent over and greeted. He received some hello's.„How's the show going?“, he asked. Freddie replied with a grin audible in his voice. „It's great, really. Such a diverse audience and Vienna is fucking beautiful. You should go there some time with a new lover of yours.“ „Speaking of that“, Roger interrupted, „why in hell didn't you tell me about Brian?“„Who?“, Freddie asked, seemingly unknowing, but Roger could bet his arse he was batting his eyelashes innocently in that very moment. „Brian May. Jasper's teacher“, he said sternly. „Really, Fred, if that's some kind of bad joke of yours, congrats, it works. Now could you please leave me alone while I'm fighting the tough battle of trying not to fall in love with-“„I knew it!“, the designer shot back. „Johnny boy, I knew it! It's really gonna happen. I told you, though, didn't I?“ „You did, Fred“, Roger heard John say and sighed. „Um, excuse me?“ „See, darling, the day I first saw Bri I knew that you'd match perfectly. That's why I sent you to meet him, after all.“ „B-Bri?“, Roger was almost choking on his own breath. „Speaking like that of your child's teacher?“„Oh, didn't he tell you? John had a shooting with him once for one of my collections. Dear, he's gorgeous, I mean, how could we not? And then, we went to dinner all together. Pretty much of a musician, he is, too“, Freddie explained in his usual carefree mood.„He's a .. model? And you have pictures of him?“ „Mhm. Bare-chested, even.“„Holy shit!“, the blond breathed, feeling his jeans tighten around his core. „Hey, no swearing in front of my son!“, John exclaimed from the background. „Sorry!“, Roger apologized. „Look, Rog, we have to go on now. It was lovely talking to you both. Take good care of Jasp and have fun. And as for Brian, you should have fun with him too. Perhaps, just not too much.“ „Hey.“ Roger's voice was quiet. „It's Roger. Jasper's godfather. The dentist.“It had taken him all the courage in the world and a thousand little reassurances by Jasp to finally call Brian. Thankfully, Freddie had noted him down as a school emergency contact. The last thirty minutes, however, Roger had spent curled up in a ball, snuggling into his navy hoodie, staring at the pre-dialed number, carefully measuring pros and cons of actually calling the other man. Now, he had made it. Brian smiled at the unexpectedly nice surprise he had received with that call on a Saturday evening. As if I could ever forget you. „Roger, hi. How has the zoo day been?“ „Wonderful. Jasper really loved the penguins.“ „So do I“, the tall man confessed, gazing at his long legs stretched out on the couch. „They are pretty adorable.“ Roger fumbled with his fingers nervously. He hadn't called to make small talk in first place. „Yeah.“ A nervous laugh escaped his lips. „Actually... I-I wondered whether you'd ... like to meet me? Tomorrow night for dinner?“ His voice was tiny and unsure. Rog hated when that happened. „Yeah, but don't make it too late, seeing Jasper is with you.“ „Uh- um, no, actually I meant- just the two of us“, Roger whispered, his tone questioning. „Doctor Taylor, are you asking me out on a date?“, the elementary school teacher blushed and chuckled. „Only if you wanna, I mean. I honestly couldn't stop thinking about you once I looked at that silly poodle head of yours“, the dentist replied with an equally red face. Man, he was glad Brian couldn't see him behaving like a silly teenager after his first wet dream. The younger man received a whole-hearted laugh for that. „Fair point. How about 8 pm?“„I'll pick you up. Make sure to dress warmly.“ „Okay. Goodbye, Roger.“„Goodbye, Brian.“With that, the line went dead, leaving Brian with a shit-eating grin of happiness and a million butterflies exploding inside his stomach. Roger couldn't say he felt otherwise.
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Brian never saw himself as extraordinarily good-looking. That was, until he opened his front door after Roger had knocked three times.„Wow“, the blond man smiled. „You look stunning.“ The teacher blushed at that, scanning his body in the mirror next to the door. He wore a black coat with his red scarf, a marine shirt, a pair of brown cord trousers and black shoes. His long, dark hair framed his face in a wild constellation of curls. Roger thought a lot about just kissing him, grabbing a handful of that soft hair, tiptoeing, leaning in, noses brushing against each other ever so casually, feeling him breathe, to finally connect their lips in a long-awaited kiss. „Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself.“ Maybe it was a bit too much, and a bit too cheesy. But honestly, Roger didn't care. „Don't worry, Jasper's asleep.“ „Good“, Brian smirked at that as he stepped outside and locked his door. „Where are we going?“ „Surprise“, the blond man simply said and guided Brian to his car. As they walked next to each other, their hands briefly touched, a mere breath of skin against skin. It sent shivers down both of their spines. Roger looked up at Brian shortly. „Alright“, he smiled. „I love surprises.“ „I'm glad you do.“ After a few minutes, they arrived at a park, a quiet and idyllic place. Roger fumbled with the packed picknick basket from his back seat, that included a variety of fruit and self-made sandwiches. „My god“, Brian said once they got out of the car. „If you had told me before, I would've taken Cookie with me!“ The dentist raised an eyebrow, grinning. „Cookie?“The teacher nodded, looking at him sternly. „Yeah, my dog. She's a Beagle.“ „Your dog's called Cookie?“, Roger laughed. „That is-“, he gasped and shook his body laughing „that's hilarious, I mean, how-how old are you? Ten?“ The elder man just stared at him, dumbstruck. „What's it?“, Roger asked, tugging a strand of his hair behind his ear. „Nothing.“ „Come on, tell me.“ „It's-it's just...“, Brian blushed and looked down at the green grass. „You're beautiful when you smile.“ Roger felt his heart skip a beat. What a pity he hadn't studied cardiology. He took a step closer to Brian, smiling widely, revealing his perfectly white teeth. „Brian...“, the smaller man whispered, pressing his body slightly against Brian's, his hand lifted to the taller man's cheek. He held it, as if he was careful not to break him, staring up into those hazel galaxies of a soul. „Roger...“, his counterpart repeated and smiled, winking at him, wrapping his arms around his waist. They just stood there and stared at each other for god knows how long. Motionless. Caught in the moment. How awfully silly. „Uhm“, it was the younger man who spoke first. „I- Let's eat.“ Roger snuggled out of the hug, though he really really didn't want to and though he was sure it tore both their hearts apart. Brian just stared at the ground. God, how silly he felt for not kissing him. Roger, meanwhile, unwrapped the blanket on the grass and gestured Brian to sit down, as set the basket in between them to avoid another string of unfortunate events. „It's pretty here“, Brian said. „I used to study out here when I was still at uni“, Roger commented as he handed Brian a pear. The curly haired man took it, hesitating at first, but then he shot the dentist look right in his eyes. „A pear?“ „Jasper told me you love them“, the blond replied, his voice so quiet it was a mere whisper. „How thoughtful of you two.“ Roger grabbed a sandwich for himself, shivering a bit. Maybe it was the October air, maybe it was the fact that such an embarrassing situation stood between them now. Maybe it was a sign, Brian would've surely showed him by now, if he did like him back.The biggest part of Roger hoped he was wrong. They ate in silence, both looking up at the sky. The younger man found himself lost in the stars, their constellations. Thinking about his beloved godson, his friends. Asking for a family, a place to be, a home, too. „Brian?“, he heard his voice sounding low and tired. „What is home to you? Who's your home?“ The teacher, who had stretched his incedibly long legs out on the checked blanket, seemed to overthink the question. He remained silent for a few seconds, nervously spinning the stem of the pear around between his thumb and index finger.„I don't know. My home is music, I guess. Or school. The kids“. Bri paused, then added. „What about you?“ „My home's Jasper, and Freddie, and John.“ Brian smiled at the answer. „That's sweet.“ „No, it's sad.“ „I don't think it's sad. It's pretty amazing, what you have. You should be glad to have friends like them.“ The corner's of his mouth shot up at that. „I really am. But- don't you think, that there's something, someone special waiting for each one of us?“ „Doctor Taylor, are you telling me you believe in soulmates?“, the brunette giggled and slid a strawberry into his mouth. „Perhaps. And please, I beg you, stop calling me Doctor Taylor.“ Because I wanna be more than just that. „It's silly, seriously. See, it'd only take one person choosing the wrong partner and the whole world would be fucked up.“ Roger couldn't help but laugh at that. It was a heartfelt, honest, relieving kind of laugh. Hell, he was so utterly, hopelessly, falling in love with Brian May, an elementary school teacher wearing colourblock sweaters and owning a dog called Cookie, of all people. It was unfair, but still, he loved every second of it. „Man“, Roger sighed once his shortness of breath was gone. „I really hope you'll find your right person“, Brian said. Roger blinked, „What if I already did?“ „Then... Just don't ever let them go“, he advised, eyeing him from the side. The smaller man was shivering, and he wasn't exactly sure why. „Hey, are you cold?“ „Oh, don't worry“, the doctor smiled. „I'm just fine... Just- thinking.“ „About what?“ „You really wanna know?“ Kissing you, you adorable, oblivious idiot. He nodded, and his big brown mop of hair shook into all directions. But Rog remained speechless. „Fine, if you don't wanna tell me, at least come here.“ Brian gestured to his strong chest. The younger man stared up at him, searching for any sign of distrust or fun in his hazel eyes. There was nothing, though, just relaxation, and sincereness. So, Roger snuggled closer to him, unsure, his hands trembling. The teacher slung an arm around his shoulders, pulling him even closer, resting his head on top of Roger's. He closed his eyes. He had never felt so good in someone's embrace. All of the sudden, Brian knew what home was. Him. „Are you comfy, dear?“, he asked. „Perfect“, the man smiled, resting one hand against the small of Brian's back.
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The Monday after, Roger was still looking after Jasper. He found his godson curled up in the arms of a certain teacher, reading a fairytale in a colorful picture book together.Brian helped him out whenever Jasp struggled with a word, whispering it into his little ear. He looked freaking fantastic, Roger found, wearing a blazer with a red shirt. „Hello chap“, Roger greeted, waving at Jasp from the doorframe. „Uncle Rog!“, the little one cheered and jumped up to him. „Are Daddy and Papa still not back?“ „Oh, hey“, Brian said and looked up at Roger, blushing as he remembered yesterday's events. The dentist smiled at the child, „No, love. They'll come on Wednesday, two nights to go.“ He gave Brian an unsure smile. „How about you change your shoes, dear, and pack your stuff?“, Brian suggested to Jasper, patting his hair in a loving gesture. Roger thought that he was probably the most passionate teacher ever. „Don't forget your English book!“ The little one ran away, nodding enthusiastically, leaving the men alone. The teacher smiled a little smile and looked at his counterpart, „Thanks for yesterday. I liked it.“ Rog looked down, his hands shaking a little. „It was a pleasure. You're really lovely, Brian.“ Then, there was awkward silence. „So, Fred told me you used to model for him and John, Mister poodle hair.“ Bri shook his head., laughing. „Guilty. It was a two-time-thing, really, nothing big. John gave me a few of the pictures he'd taken, that's everything. I prefer being in the background, rather, anyway. Not the type for stage lights.“ „Says the teacher“, the blonde chuckled, tugging a strand of hair behind his ear. Brian, once again, had to admit how freaking beautiful Roger was. „Doctor Taylor, I'm sure you know glare better than I do“, he joked back and winked. „Brian?“, he said, without any context. His mind was still dizzy with the image of Brian wearing some majestic, flamboyant clothes Freddie had designed. „Yeah?“ „I- I think I'm falling in love with you.“ He looked up from his paperwork on the desk, expression like a child whose first pet ever had just died. „What?“ Roger shrugged and shuffled closer to him. „I just can't help it. Knew it from the moment I walked into that classroom.“ The teacher smiled a tiny smile. „So you believe in love at first sight?“ „I used not to“, he spoke quietly. But then you convinced me otherwise. „Listen, Roger, you're lovely, god, so beautiful and clever and exactly the kind of men I like but I- I can't. Jasper's my pupil after all. It's illegal.“ Bri's voice was calm, as usually, but the way he stared at the dentist carried a lot of hurt and despair. „Don't get me wrong, I'd love being taken out by you on a regular basis, but- we need to stop before my feelings get out of control. I have a profession to lose.“ The blond man laughed sadly. „It's alright. I- Didn't really expect you to go any further with me, anyway.“ Brian shook his hand and got up, facing the younger man. „Hey, hey. Don't say such things. You're magnificent, Doctor Taylor, and I'm sure someone's going to make you very happy one day.“ But what if I want it to be you? With your stupid fucking smile and your damn hair and all that?, he asked himself, and he wanted to ask the taller man too, scream at him, cry for not receiving the answer he had so badly desired. Instead, he just turned his head away, carefully avoiding the stupid, calming hazel eyes he saw every time he closed his. „I get you. Being reasonable and all that“, he whispered. „Come here“, Bri replied and pulled him in for a hug. Roger almost broke down at how good the strong arms felt around him, how he held him with such honesty, and how he didn't want to change a thing about it.„It's not about you, Rog. You know that if I could, I would be with you“, he whispered and ran a hand through his long soft hair. „It's fine“, he said. It wasn't. „You don't have to pretend it is.“ Roger shook his head. „That's why.“ „Huh?“, asked Brian. „That's why I'm in love with you. You always say the right things.“ „Roger“, he sighed, longing for him. It broke his heart knowing he couldn't have him. „Brian- I need to... Can I kiss you? Please? Just once. I just want to know what it feels like...“ He hesitated, looked out for Jasper who wasn't there, then nodded. The blond tiptoed, leaning in, and their noses brushed against each other. Their lips found in a painful way, and it was soft, sweet, unsure. It felt like the beginning of everything, something Roger thought about so often those last days. But it wasn't. And that made everything even worse.
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Brian couldn't sleep. He lay awake in his bed, book in lap, thinking about Roger and this damn kiss. He fidgeted with his cellphone, looking at the dentist's contact over and over again. His smile on the picture was awfully cute, though the pre-dialed number challenged him. His calloused thumb hovered over the green icon. The tall man sighed, shaking his head. He felt so sorry for what had happened. There was no such law that prohibited teacher's to date anyone related to a pupil, except for their parents.Of course, Roger wasn't Jaspers dad. But still, Brian found it weird to be around the green-eyed boy every day. He wasn't ready for a relationship yet. He didn't want to ruin it, which he, apparently had by now. „Oh, boy“, he whispered. „How can one person be so stupid?“ He pressed the „Call“ button now, more determined than he though he'd be. He listened to the monotonous beeps. Roger answered after about ten seconds. „Brian? What do you want?“, his voice asked, tiny and tired, so unusual for him. It made the teacher's heart ache. „Roger, I-I called to apologize-“„What for?“, he interrupted. „You might not see that, May, but you broke my heart.“
He did have a point in that.
„I didn't mean to“, he started again, but received an angry laugh for that. „Oh, of course you didn't!“ „Roger-“ „No, not Roger, shove that damn Roger up your ass! You know what? I'm tired of it!“, he yelled, then paused and started again, in a normal pitch. „Freddie and John keep messing about how terrible my taste in men is, how I always choose the wrong people. The toxic guys who disrespect you for being you, cheat on you, hit you, all that. I've been through shit, really, and then there's you and you're adorable, you've got the cutest smile, you constantly hum Beatles songs, don't even get me started about your poodle hair- and the only reason I can't be with you is not that you don't love me back, it's not that you're not okay with my job or something – it's you being the fucking teacher of my godchild?! How unfair is that?!“ His tone had turned sarcastic and angry, so damn angry it scared him. „Roger-“, Bri whispered again, hoping to ground him somehow. „Yeah, and the worst thing is that I can't even blame you for it. You're just the conscientious person you always are, following the laws and that.“ Roger sighed. „Still, I wanna be with you so damn much that it hurts me physically knowing you're sitting at the end of the line, listening with your attentive glance. It's selfish, but I want to be the one you stare at, the one you sing for, the one you kiss and hug and all-“ „Rog“, Brian said and the blonde stopped at the nickname, gathering himself. „There is no law that makes it impossible for us to date. I checked. I was just... overly careful, I guess.“„Wh-what?“, he brabbled, and it was so cute Brian thought he might explode. He laughed, feeling his anxiety decline. „It's not funny“, Roger said sharply. „I'm being honest“, the taller one whispered. „If you still want to? Because I definitely want to.“ „Come over, you idiot.“ ** „Jasper's asleep“, Roger whispered as he opened the door for the curly haired men. He was in a plain grey t-shirt with sweatpants, his long hair ruffled, his voice sleepy. The teacher grinned. „You didn't have to dress up for me.“ „Shut it“, the dentist answered. „And come in“, he gestured towards the inside of his flat. Brian nodded and stepped in, looking at Roger. His mouth curled up, and he smiled, because seeing Roger made him stupidly happy.„You look gorgeous“, Brian admitted, clearing his throat. „I hate you“, he shot back and nudged the elder man with his elbow. „Well, fair enough. Rog, look, I really am sorry“, he started, „I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just panicking-“ The blond raised an eyebrow. „About what?“ „Promise not to laugh at me“, he said sternly, combing a strand of his dark hair behind his ear. „I won't.“ The teacher shrugged, eyeing the ground as he blushed. „I guess I've just ugh, never really fallen for someone.“ „Wait- so- does, does it mean you've never been in love before?“, the dentist asked bluntly, and Brian just shook his head. „I-I didn't think it would be like that. You just- swept me off my feet, and I thought that maybe I could stop it, but I couldn't. I didn't want that to happen, really not, because you're beautiful, and clever, and way out of my league, Roger. You deserve better than me-“ He shook his head eagerly. „Might be, but I don't want anyone else than you.“ „And- and when we kissed, it hit me like a wave. How you smiled at me when you first came to my classroom, the boner you gave me at that café, the date and – Everything was spiraling downwards, and I am afraid, so afraid, because I never did all this, the hugs and the kisses and the dates and all that. I'm afraid I'll ruin it“, he explained quietly, while the younger man listened attentively. „And while I'm trying not to break my own heart with your rejection, I broke yours with mine. I- Roger, believe me, I never meant to hurt you“, he sighed. „Oh, Brian“, the blond smiled. „How could I have known?“ He moved closer to him and wrapped his arms around the taller man's waist. Brian breathed loudly as Roger hid his face against his shoulder. His heart was still thumping in his chest, but nonetheless, he closed his eyes and inhaled the younger one's scent. „That's not the reaction I expected“, he said after a while. „Shut up, love's not a rational thing“, the blonde replied, running a hand calmly up and down Brian's back. „Roger?“ „Yeah?“ „It feels nice, holding you.“