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The first time Rafael hears his voice, he’s jarred. He hears his office door open after he specifically told Carmen that he didn’t want to be interrupted, and as he opens his mouth to tell her as such, without looking up, he hears a Staten Island accent asking if he is ADA Barba. Barba’s shoulders tense. He drops his pen on the witness statement he’s taking notes on, his hand going to the bridge of his nose as the accent apologizes while he reads his nameplate and realizes that the man sitting in front of him, annoyed, is most certainly ADA Barba and can he talk to him about warrant? Rafael looks up. The first time Rafael sees his eyes, he loses his breath. His green eyes lock with the deepest, prettiest pools of blue he’s ever seen. His heart beats almost out of his chest. Rafael motions for the man to go on as he continues to scan this mystery detective’s face. His hair is certainly too long, slicked back with so much product Rafael felt sticky just looking at it. Pink lips, full and soft, overpowered by that accent and a truly terrible moustache on his upper lip. His clothes - nothing to write home about. The detective stops talking and Barba looks up, startled. The pink lips have curled up into a smile, revealing slightly crooked teeth, and Rafael curses himself for having the thought that this man, this grown man, was cute. Barba sighs and assures him that he’ll get the warrant that SVU is asking for. The detective’s smile gets even wider and Barba realizes that the man has dimples you could swim in. The man reaches out a lanky arm to shake Barba’s hand and Rafael takes it, surprised. He asks the detective’s name and the man lets out a short, loud laugh. Dominick Carisi Jr., but Rafael can call him Sonny. ******************************************************** The first time Rafael watches him interview a suspect, he decides he wants to pursue him. Carisi (he refuses to call him Sonny, even in his own head) talks with such a compassion that even the most disgusting of perps can’t help but give him what he wants. The way he moves around the interview room, the slight touch of his hand on someone’s arm, the kind words to coax out any sliver of information he needs to help his case. Rafael admires the way his hair shines under those terrible fluorescent lights, the way his eyes portray every bit of emotion he is feeling. He really can do that “empathy thing”. Barba, distracted, turns to Liv and tells her to let him know if Carisi gets anything. As he leaves, he shoots a quick text to the detective, asking if he’d like to meet him for a drink that night. At 11pm they are sitting next to each other at the bar. The first time they drink together, Rafael notices that the younger man takes it easy. Despite his stressful job, Carisi has a very relaxed demeanor. His tie is loosened, his hand is wrapped loosely around the neck of the bottle. He sips with a smile, hanging on every word the ADA says, even as he teases him about night school. For over an hour, they sit and Rafael talks while Carisi listens, and the older man is aching to hear his voice again. He orders them each another drink (Barba’s second, Carisi’s third) and asks Carisi to tell him about his family. The detective is surprised, but decides not to question it and gives Barba the whole Carisi family history. Rafael is barely listening. Parents still together, three sisters. He gets lost in his eyes and the sparkle he gets when he talks about someone he loves and hates himself for hoping that one day he would be able to bring that sparkle there as well. At bar close, Barba is pleasantly tipsy as they stagger out of the bar. He texts Carmen and asks her to cancel his morning appointments when she gets it. It’s windy as they wait for their Ubers and Rafael wraps his coat around himself tightly. A biker rides past and the combination of the rider, the wind, and the alcohol in his system, Barba falls into Carisi. To his surprise, the detective wraps an arm around him and keeps him upright and steady. As he helps the older man into his ride, he pats him on the head and promises to text him when he gets home. They talk all weekend. ******************************************************** The first time Rafael kisses Carisi (he still can’t bring himself to call him Sonny, even with his tongue in his mouth) it’s a late night in the ADA’s office. He had talked to the younger man briefly on the phone - he was busy, but he was hungry, so could Carisi pick up something to eat on his way to One Hogan Place so they could go over his witness statement? It was a ploy to spend time together, they both knew it, but the detective didn’t say no. He showed up, food in tow, cheeks pink from the cold weather and scarf wrapped all the way around his neck. Barba thanks him for the food and his breath hitches as their fingers brush when he takes the bag of food from him. This has become routine to them - once or twice a week, the detective would come over to the office under the ruse of going over a statement, helping with a case, and once, because Barba needed a ride home and every Uber was “too expensive”. The two men had become comfortable with each other, moving around the office and each other with a learned grace. Barba had almost had enough of it. He yearned to reach out and touch the detective, kiss his cheek, hold his hand. He watches as Carisi shrugs off his coat and unwraps his scarf, revealing his long, pale neck and a very sensible three piece suit. He scratches the back of his neck as a few strands of hair come loose from the product and he begins to tell the ADA about his day. The older man rises from his chair and moves around the front of his desk until he is face to face with the detective. Carisi’s hand comes down from the back of his neck and Rafael grabs it. The younger man looks at him in shock as Rafael laces his long fingers through Carisi’s and grabs his tie with the other hand. Barba pulls him in for a sweet kiss, catching Carisi off guard. He feels tense beneath Rafael’s lips and for a moment he panics and starts to pull away just as the younger man grabs the back of his head and pulls him in deeper. Rafael sighs and relaxes into the kiss as Carisi licks into his mouth, their teeth banging together eagerly, their tongues dancing around each other as Barba’s hands go to Carisi’s hips, pulling the younger man and pushing him against his office door. They continue making out like teenagers, little moans escaping as they grind against each other and only stop as Rafael reaches for the detective’s belt. Carisi stops, looking distraught as he cups Rafael’s face in his hands, their breathing deep and laboured, their hair disheveled and their eyes locked. Dominick (if he has to use a first name, even in his mind, it can’t be the name of a child) apologizes, stroking Rafael’s cheek, saying he might not be the best Catholic but he can’t sleep with Rafael before they even go out on one date, he’s just old fashioned that way. Rafael digests this information, and tells Dominick that he can pick him up on Friday at 8, and pulls away only to text the detective his address. They kiss for another hour, hands wandering over torsos, their food long forgotten. ******************************************************** The first date Rafael goes on with Dominick is nice, easy. A small Italian place near Rafael’s apartment. The detective wears a navy blue suit, the ADA a gray one. They’re all nerves and shaking hands, laughing and smiling through their dinner and their dessert. Dominick suggests they take a walk afterward and Rafael smiles as he wraps an arm around the younger man’s waist as they walk through the neighborhood. They chat about their days for a moment before getting into the more serious stuff. Dominick hasn’t been in a relationship with a man since college, and hasn’t been in a relationship in general since he was in homicide. Rafael hasn’t been serious about anyone since the detective was fresh out of the academy. They talk about their mothers, Dominick’s Nonna and Rafael’s Abuelita. Her death is fresh in his memory and a tear escapes before he can help it. They stop under a streetlight and Dominick turns to face Rafael completely, wiping his tear and pulling him into a sweet kiss as he promises that they don’t have to talk about anything he doesn’t want to, ever. Rafael smiles into the kiss; this will be their first date of many. ******************************************************** Their first time together can be described as simple. Simple because they seem to know each other so well already. All those late nights in Rafael’s office, in the precinct, at Forlinis, helped them get to know each other in a way Rafael had forgotten was possible. He had long grown accustomed to what Dominick’s face looked like when he was surprised, concerned; when he was angry, happy. It’s been three months since they kissed in his office like hungry teenagers, but despite his eagerness Rafael knew Dominick was worth waiting for. They kissed hungrily on the older man's couch, their shirts unbuttoned and hands wandering over each other's chests. Dominick runs his hands through Rafael's graying chest hair (a realization that would have embarrassed him with anyone else, but with Dominick he feels at ease) and brings one leg over Rafael's lap to straddle him. The older man's teeth find Dominick's neck, nipping and sucking lightly as the younger man's hips buck against him. Dominick takes Rafael's face in his hands and moans into his mouth, his tongue seeking out his lover's anxiously, drawing a deep and desperate noise from Rafael and just fueling Dominick more. He suddenly jumps up and grabs Rafael's hand, intertwining their fingers as he pulls him up to standing, one hand going to his ass as he gives him a long kiss. Rafael breaks the kiss first and leads the younger man to his bedroom, stealing kisses along the way as he guides them down the hallway. They lose their clothing and Dominick lightly pushes him onto the bed, climbing on top of him and grinding down as he whispers in Rafael's ear that he wants him, he needs him, he belongs inside of him and Rafael almost cums on the spot. He vaguely points to the bedside table and mumbles something about condoms, lube, any other toy that the younger man might want to use. Dominick strokes his cheek and kisses him deeply, promising him that tonight it's just the two of them, that's all he needs - their eyes lock and Rafael is overcome with fondness as he sees the sparkle in Dominick's eye he saw what feels like a lifetime ago at the bar while the detective told him about his loved ones. Dominick grabs the lube and begins to work him open, his hair loose and falling into his eyes, his mouth busy kissing, sucking, telling Rafael how perfect he is, how happy he is they waited, how much he had wanted this. He finally rolls a condom over himself and pushes inside and Rafael sees stars, he feels out of his body. This beautiful man, this tall, lanky angel is moving inside him so gently, so passionately and it isn't long until they come undone together. The first time Dominick spends the night is after they make love for the first time. They cleaned each other up in the shower, stealing kisses and grabbing at each other, one man's hands never leaving the other. They wash each other's hair, they scrub each other's backs. Rafael gets on his knees and Dominick returns the favor. As they settle into bed, both clad in pajamas (Dominick didn't mean to be presumptuous when he picked him up for their date with an overnight bag in hand, but he had just hoped he'd be asked to spend the night, and he didn't have to stay if Rafael didn't want him to. Rafael responded by rising up on his toes and kissing the tip of Dominick's nose.) they assume what Rafael can only describe as a natural position: their legs tangled together, his arm slung across Dominick's middle, the detective's arm around his shoulders as he plays with his hair. Rafael listens to his lover's heartbeat and sighs happily as he nuzzles in, and realizes something he thinks he's always known. “I love you, Dominick”, he whispers against the man's chest, his breath catching as he feels Dominick's heart skip a beat. “I love you too, Rafael”, he responds and squeezes the older man tightly as he kisses is temples lightly and repeatedly. This is the first time they say it to one another but this first time it happens, Rafael knows - he's in this for good.