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You walked into the bunker in a huff, throwing your bag down on the table you stomped through the hallways until you reached the gym. Today hadn't gone particularly well for you, and you needed to let off some steam.Not bothering to grab gloves or even wrap your hands first you threw a punch at the punching bag hanging in the middle of the room and sent it swinging. You hit the bag again, and again. You don't notice Dean standing in the doorway behind you, or your knuckles now bruised and cracked leaving bloodstains on the bag. Your mind instead on other things, mistakes and failed relationships and wasted time.Evan had been right all along, no one could love you—or so you believed. What exactly was the point of it all? you asked yourself. All of your suffering, and everything you'd been through seemed completely pointless. Sure, Chuck, has been known to be cruel and capricious it he never did anything without a point. A plan. You just thought that by now your pain would've meant something. That maybe you could finally be happy and prove Evan wrong. And you weren't sure how much more of this you could take. Sure, you were mad and angry at Chuck for how your life had turned out. Surely you weren't such a terrible person that you deserved all of this. You've made mistakes but so has everyone else. Why can't one thing in my life just go right for once? Just one thing... Your punches became slower, and tears slowly started to fall down your cheeks. With a sob you sank down to the floor and wrapped your arms tightly around your chest.Dean crouched down behind you and pulled you into his arms. "I don't know what's wrong Y/N, but it's going to be alright." His voice was soft, and his hands were gentle as he rubbed your back.You let him hold you for a moment, desperate for the comfort, before you pushed yourself out of his grasp and stood up. "No, it won't. Nothing is going to turn out alright. Nothing ever does, Dean!" You were yelling now, and Dean was trying to calm you like you were a startled animal. "It's alright, Y/N. Just tell me what happened. Who's ass do I need to kick?" He cracked a small smile more a smirk, trying to look like he was joking. But his eyes were hard, and you knew he was being completely serious. If you told him about Caleb cheating on you he would walk right out that door and it was likely that Caleb wouldn't wake up tomorrow.He doesn't really care, a voice in your head told you. You liked to call it the voice of reason for it kept you from reading too much into people's expressions and actions and seeing feelings that you didn't think were really there. Maybe... you let yourself wonder what it'd be like to have Dean love you, something you'd convinced yourself long ago was impossible.You shook your head once again dispelling the thought of it being even a possibility that Dean cares about you. "It doesn't matter," you told him quietly before shoving your way past him determined to get to your room and have a moment alone to collect your thoughts.Before you could make it through the gyms door however he grabbed your wrist and turned you face him. "Nuh uh. You're not going out that door until you tell me what's going on."You fumed, your nostrils flaring as you said, "Why should you even care, huh? I'm just a worthless piece of shit that doesn't even really matter. I'm just going to be stepped on and used my entire life, so what's the point Dean? What's the point of you pretending to care? What's the point of anyone pretending they give a rats ass about me? Cause, no one does. Just let me go, I'll snap out of it in a few days and be back on the road hunting. Saving people. The only thing I can actually do. And don't worry, I've learned my lesson, okay? I'm not going to even bother trying to have a life anymore cause there's no point to it. I'm not going to be able to be happy. I realize that now." You pulled your wrist away from him and stormed out the door. But not before you notice the look on Dean's face, almost like he'd been slapped.It's a few moments before you hear him trailing behind you. "Wait, Y/N. I know it's not much, but I do care. I—I care about you, and I care what happens to you. I'm not pretending—""Just save it for someone else Dean," you said as you slammed the door to your bedroom in his face. You heard a deep sigh from the other side, as he tried the handle and realized it's locked."Y/N... let me in please. I care, I have for a long time now. I love you, Y/N...""You're lying." Your voice was sharp, venomous even though there were fresh tears in your eyes. You had dreamed about hearing those words from him, but you could never let yourself believe them."Open the door, look me in the eyes and tell me I'm lying Y/N."
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Days had gone by since Dean told you he loved you. You hadn't opened the door, and though he stayed right on the other side for hours he had eventually left. You hadn't spoken to him since, aside from a few overly polite greetings, and you had for the most part, avoided him. Maybe you were scared, maybe you were angry. You weren't quite sure.The only thing you knew for certain was that you couldn't bring yourself to be in his presence for more than a few minutes. And when he and Sam left yesterday for a hunt in Atlanta, you had declined going with them. So it was just you, alone, in the bunker. And you were certain that you were slowly going crazy. You didn't want to think. About Caleb. Dean. Anything. And in the bunker that was all you could do.He had told you he loved you, and though you wouldn't allow yourself to believe him those three little words were on a near-constant replay in your head. How many nights have I imagined hearing those words from him? you asked yourself with a pained sigh. You shook your head before slipping your phone into your pocket and walking out the bunker door.You needed coffee, and other people. What you really needed was a hunt, but you'd settle for a busy cafe while you searched for one. In your car you blared alternative rock from the speakers and forced yourself to sing along. Thinking that maybe it would keep you from thinking too much.Fifteen minutes later you were sitting at a corner booth with a latte in one hand and your phone in the other. You were scrolling through the national news feeds searching for anything out of the ordinary. At this point you'd be happy with an unusual papercut. Two hours later and you were gathering all the information available on a string of murders in Bardwell, Texas. Each victim had been found with their hearts missing, and their deaths lined up with the full moon going back at least six months. You hadn't bothered to check any further back then that, you had all the info you needed. And there were plenty of silver bullets in your trunk.You felt guilty for leaving when you promised Sam you wouldn't hunt alone, and you considered sending him a text letting him know where you were going. But you knew he'd try to talk you out of it. You had handled werewolves plenty when you were hunting on your own. In fact, you had almost exclusively specialized in hunting werewolves after your sisters murder. You had only really branched out after the Winchesters took you under their wing.The drive to Bardwell went by quicker than you expected it to. You only stopped for gas and food aside from a quick stop a town over from Bardwell to change into your heels and business suit. There wasn't much you could do with your hair since you wore it short but you managed to make it look professional before applying a minimal amount of makeup using your car's mirror.You glanced at the clock when you pulled up to the latest victims house. They had left behind a wife and three children. Three o'clock. Not too late for a visit from the FBI, you decided. You tucked your badge into your blazers inside pocket before making your way to the door. Toys littered the yard, and a small red and yellow car big enough for a child to sit in sat beside the front door. A kind-looking black woman opened the door with a welcoming smile, but her eyes were red and puffy."May I help you?" she asked.You slipped your badge out of your pocket and flipped it open so that she could see it. "I'm very sorry to bother you ma'am, but I have some questions about your wife's murder." She visibly flinched at the words and you regretted not phrasing them better, but there was nothing to be done now. "It will just take a few minutes of your time.""Of course." The woman opened the door wider and invited you inside. Once you both had settled down in her living room, on opposite ends of the same couch, you began your questions.She didn't tell you much you hadn't already heard from the news reports. Her wife had been found mauled in the backyard by their youngest daughter. No one had been home during the attack because she had been dropping off her oldest at a sleepover. The police had assumed it was an animal attack at first but the coroner found human DNA during the autopsy. She showed you the backyard where the body had been found, there were claw marks in the wooden fence. Long and deep ones. They didn't look like anything an animal could leave behind. But other then that nothing looked out of the ordinary."Thank you for your time," you said as she escorted you to the front door. You didn't have much to go on, but there wasn't any point in bothering the woman any longer. She had been through enough already, and your presence wasn't helping anyone. You had two more days to track this thing down, and almost nothing to go on. All the other attacks had been in alleyways, this was the first one to take place on the outskirts of town.Your phone buzzed as you got into your car and you glanced at it. You had two other messages you hadn't noticed before from Sam. This latest one though was from Dean. "Where are you?""Not in Kansas anymore."
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You hissed in pain as the werewolf's claws ripped your arm open. You had nearly missed being bitten. Usually you could take on a werewolf no problem, but you had already taken on six others and you were growing tired. Your movements sloppy and much slower than you'd like.Your body was littered in cuts and scratches, and your head was growing foggy. But still you fought on. If you were to die you were going to take this entire pack with you.With a kick to its groin you managed to get the thing off and away from you, giving you the opportunity to plunge your silver knife into its heart. With the last werewolf dead you sank to the ground, you were covered in blood—mostly your own—and the room was beginning to spin.Maybe I should've told Dean where I was...You thought to yourself as you leaned your head back against a wall. You chest was rising and falling rapidly as you struggled to take in air. It wasn't long before your vision went dark and you were lost to the conscious world...-You woke hours later to the sound of footsteps. Someone, or something, was walking around the house above you. For a brief moment you were terrified that you had missed a member of the pack and it had come home to find its family dead. And that it would find you barely alive surrounded by the corpses of that family.Your fears were short lived when you heard Sam call your name. His voice echoed throughout the entire place, and filter down through the floorboards into the basement where you hoped they'd find you. You tried so hard to call out to him, to alert him of your whereabouts. But you were too weak, you could barely keep yourself from sinking back into unconsciousness as it was."Y/N!" Dean called from across the house, his voice frantic. Scared. "Damn it! Where is she?""This might not be the right place, Dean. I mean, GPS isn't always accurate—""Her car is still here, Sam," Dean cut him off before calling your name again and again. They searched everyone room in that house looking for you. They found your phone that you had dropped while fighting the werewolves and they found blood... Lots of it. It was everywhere, splattered on the floor. The walls. Smeared on windows and on door knobs.They were grateful that yours wasn't among the corpses they found, but they were running out of places to look. They were running out of time, and leads.They didn't find the trap door that led to the basement hidden underneath a stairwell. Maybe it was too dark. Or maybe they just didn't think to look for you under the floorboards. Either way, they couldn't find you. And though you could hear them calling your name... you could hear them trample through the house searching... you couldn't muster enough of a breath to call out to them.I'm here! I'm here! you wanted to yell. To scream. But your words were nothing more than a faint raspy breath."She was here, Sam," Dean said through clenched teeth as he threw his fist against a wall denying the plaster. "Her cars still here. Her phone." He looked away from his brother, defeated. "She's not here, is she?""We'll find her, Dean," Sam said. A vow. A promise.Your heart sank. You knew your time left for the world was short. And though most days you wanted nothing more than to die. To stop existing. You didn't want to go like this. You didn't want to die abandoned in a basement. And you knew that if they left, they would never find you. Or if they did, they wouldn't find you alive.With a final bit of strength you managed to speak one word. One name. "Dean."You weren't loud. And truth be told if the brothers hadn't been standing right above you they most likely wouldn't have heard a thing. And your final plea would've gone unheard. Unanswered.Deans head shot up as your voice reached his ears. It was faint, and he wasn't completely sure he wasn't imagining things. He held his breath waiting for it to happen again. "Y/N?" he finally called out, hopeful. "Please tell me I'm not the only one who heard that." Dean looked to his brother who was scanning the room."No, I heard it. A hidden room, maybe?" Sam offered running his hands along the walls, searching for any inconsistencies in the plaster. "Is a basement?" Sam asked after a fruitless search for hidden doors."There's one way to find out." Dean pulled a crowbar out of the duffel strapped across his back and he seat to work. He pried up floorboards and when the wouldn't give he smashed through them, using the crowbar as a hammer when necessary.Dust and chunks of wood rained down on you, and you coughed. Your chest screaming from the movement.Dean exclaimed as he caught sight of your hair through the hole he'd made. Not in excitement, but in relief for finally finding you. And in worry for the state you were in. There wasn't a part of you that wasn't a bloody matted mess. Your skin, the bits he could see, was pale and sickly. You looked like a ghost. You resembled death. It didn't take long for him to make the whole big enough for him to fit through. And as soon as he could squeeze himself through he was down there right beside you, and pulling your cold limp body into his arms.You rasped as you tried to say his name again."Shh. Shh," he silenced you. "You're going to be okay. Everything's gonna be fine..." He was speaking more to himself then he was you. He lifted you up off the ground, and you knew you were safe. You weren't going to die alone in a basement. He had found you.
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You awoke in the hospital to the sound of a heart monitor. You were alone except for Castiel standing in the corner of the room, watching you. He didn’t seem to notice you had woken up, so you cleared your throat and sat up as much as your aching body would allow.Castiel was rushing to your side as soon as the first pained moan left your lifts. He helped you to sit up and he repositioned the lumpy hospital pillows behind you.“I’m fine,” you told him, waving him off as he continued to fuss over you. You felt fine. Sure you hurt in places. Your arms, side, and head most of all. But it wasn’t excruciating and so you suspected you were on some sort of pain medication. But overall you felt fine. The worst thing was the tightness in your limbs. Everything else was just a dull ache.“I should get the nurse…”“Not yet, just… give me a few minutes, please.”He looked over the door, slightly ajar, for a second before he nodded. “Alright, but I’m calling Dean. He made me promise to call him as soon as you woke up.”“That’s fine,” you said, a little disappointed that Dean had left you. You had hoped that maybe he was taking a quick moment to stretch his legs, or get a coffee. Of course, you didn’t think it was right to have expected him to be here at all. Why would he care to be sitting at my bedside for hours just waiting for me to wake up? Don’t be an idiot, Y/N.You ran your fingers over your arms. The were both wrapped in gauze, and they itched terribly.“Wait,” you called to Cas before he could make it out the door to call Dean in the hallway. He paused, one hand resting on the door, and looked back at you. “How long have I been here?”“Ten days, Y/N,” he said before pulling the door the rest of the way open.You sighed as he left. You had felt like you’d been missing time when you woke up. Almost like you had slept for way too long and weeks, if not years, had passed. It was shocking to know that you had missed ten days of your life. Though, you were willing to admit, it could be worse.Castiel was gone for a lot longer than you thought a quick phone call to Dean would take, and you suspected that he had gone to find a nurse as well. Your suspicions were confirmed when a he came back into the room followed by a young man in scrubs.You were tempted to shoot a glare in Cas’s direction but you figured being checked on by a nurse, and eventually at some point a doctor even, was inevitable and decided not to fight it. The nurse greeted you politely before shutting the door. “I’m glad to see you’re awake,” he said. “Your boyfriend was getting quite worried about you.”“Oh, oh no… Cas isn’t my boy—“He waved you off before you could finish. “Not him. The other one… uh Dean I think he said his name was.”“Yeah… De-Dean,” you choked out, deciding not to correct him. It didn’t really matter if the nurse was misinformed about yours and Dean's relationship anyways.“He seems real nice, and definitely sexy too.” The nurse winked at you before grabbing the clipboard hanging from the foot of the bed. He looked a few things over, and wrote down the numbers displayed on the various monitors, all while you managed not to die of embarrassment.Cas let out an uncharacteristic snort at the nurses statement, and overall looked like he was enjoying the entire exchange.“Ugh, kill me now,” you groaned once the nurse was far enough down the hall to not hear you.“Not gonna happen, sweetheart,” a voice said from the now open door just minutes after the nurse left.You looked up and there was Dean, in all his beautiful—and as the nurse had put it—sexy glory. And he was undeniably pissed.“Cas would you give us a minute,” he said, his voice tight.
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“I’m sorry,” you told Dean. He was no longer as angry as he had been when he came into your hospital room, but he was disappointed… and hurt. You had broken your promise to him and Sam about hunting alone. And you had refused to tell them where you were going. Dean had worried. “I just needed to process. I needed a distraction.”“No.” He looked at you long and hard before saying, “I told you how I feel, and you got scared. And then you decided to run away, and nearly get yourself killed, Y/N. I knew i shouldn’t have left you at the bunker by yourself. I just thought… I thought if I gave you some time you’d work through it.”You lowered your eyes looking down at your hands instead of his face. He, of course, was right. You had been absolutely terrified of the possibility that what he had said was true. But you weren’t willing to admit that to yourself yet. “I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to break my promise… I didn’t mean to fuck up again… I just… I couldn’t stay in the bunker alone anymore… I’m sorry…” I love you, you wanted to add. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t think you would care. But fear held your tongue.There were so many things left unsaid between the both of you, and maybe if you both had more courage things would be different. Monsters, ghosts, and demons the both of you could handle. But with a string of failed relationships between the both of you a mile long neither of you knew what to do. Do you confess your feelings, or stay silent? Maybe you could leave this entire ordeal behind and just do what you both do best. Hunt.He cared. Tha much was obvious now. No matter how much you’d rather not admit it, he cared. When you heard the fear in his voice when he found you… there was no denying he cared for you. But love? He had told you he loved you when you were hurting… when he was trying to help you feel better… Could you believe it was true? Maybe.You had seen the look in his eyes when he walked into the room. He had been angry, yes, but there’s also been something else there beneath the surface of his green eyes… Worry. Dean had worried about you. But does he love you? Do you love him? Or were you just obsessed with the possibility of being loved and loving someone? So many things were going through your mind all at once. And you didn’t know where to begin to sort through it all.The room was silent, unlike your mind. And if you listened hard enough you could here Sam and Castiel whispering outside the door, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying.It wasn’t uncomfortable, the silence. You had both said your piece, and what was done… was well, done. You were alive, and as far as Dean was concerned that’s really all that mattered. The rest would come. He had his entire life and yours to convince you that what he said was true. You were alive, and with time… you’d be okay.“I love you,” he said, breaking the silence. Your head snapped up quickly so you could see his face. “Tell me I’m lying, Y/N.” You searched his eyes looking for any sign of untruth. And when you found nothing but sincerity and a warmth you’d never seen in anyone else you knew. “You’re not.”