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It was a slow day for Vanya. She had a lot of those.It started with a grey, rainy morning. She usually didn’t mind those, because the sun made her feel uncomfortable in her clothes, but today, it was a little bleaker than usual. Her brain felt like it was being dragged through sludge, and underneath that there was a raw, empty feeling in her chest. After lying in bed for too long, Vanya rolled onto her back and pressed her hands to her face.“Okay. Okay,” she said, resigned to feeling like shit for the foreseeable future. “Just get up.”After a half-hour long argument with herself, Vanya finally rolled out of bed. The sludgy feeling followed her to the shower and all around the tiny apartment as she choked down half a bowl of cereal. It persisted throughout the morning until her first client arrived. She resisted the urge to go back to bed; she had work to do, and the rent wouldn’t pay itself.Nine-year-old Juan was quite uninterested in learning the violin despite his mother’s insistence, and the session was a drag for both of them. Daisy was better. Well, her technique was worse and near-painful to listen to, but she genuinely wanted to learn. Vanya managed to scrounge up a few encouraging smiles for her, despite her aching ears. It was nice to be needed.The door knocked while she was in the bathroom. Client number three was early. She frantically finished up, cursing her own bad timing.“I’m coming, sorry,” she said, hurrying over to the door. At first, she didn’t even register the face of the boy standing there. “Hi. You’re a little early for the lesson, are you okay to wait for a minute inside?”The boy just tilted his head to look at her, and Vanya’s voice tapered off. She stared at him. That face … it couldn’t be …“Hi, Vanya,” he long lost brother said, casually putting his hands in his pockets.Vanya couldn’t reply. Her brain refused to process what she was seeing.“Yeah, it’s me,” he said, a touch impatient. “I’m back. Sorry to keep you waiting so long. Can I come in?”He pushed past her into the room, forcing Vanya to conclude that he was not, in fact, a hallucination. She numbly closed the door and turned to look at him.Five hadn’t changed one bit since she last saw him, seventeen years ago. He was even dressed in the same old shorts and blazer. Still, something about the way he held himself as he looked around her apartment (scoping out the exits, an old Academy habit that was impossible to break, and Vanya would know) looked different.“Nice place,” he told her. “I didn’t think so last time, but it’s grown on me.”Vanya didn’t understand that sentence at all. She was still stuck on the fact that he was here. “Five,” she croaked.“Yeah?” he said flatly, glancing at her.“Are … are you really back?”His eyes softened slightly. “Yes, Vanya.”She didn’t mean to do it, but suddenly she was stumbling towards him and throwing her arms around his neck. For one moment, it was easy to pretend that she was thirteen again, and he’d only been gone for a couple of hours. Maybe a day at the most, because for all their talk of running away, none of them ever left the house until they were leaving for good. Five went stiff for a moment, and she expected him to pull away; he’d never been one for affection. But after a moment, he loosened up and cautiously returned the hug.“That part never gets old,” he muttered.“What?” She pulled away and held him at arms length, her hands just a little too tight, as if he might disappear again.Five shook his head and ducked out of reach. “Never mind. You got anything to drink?”“Um,” she said, thinking of the meagre contents of her fridge. “Orange juice? Or I could make you some tea?”“Any coffee?”“Uh, no.”“Damn. Whiskey?”“No!” she said, alarmed.He sighed. “Figured as much. Mind if I make myself a sandwich?”She wordlessly shook her head, but he was already digging through her cupboards, pulling out bread and peanut butter. She sat down, unable to take her eyes off him. It wasn’t a slow day anymore, not with Five in her room and in her life. For the first time in a long time, she felt awake.“Five,” she murmured, once he had his sandwich. “Where have you been?”He shrugged one shoulder. “The future.”“Really?”“Yeah. I got stuck there for a long time. It was why I couldn’t come back.”“How long?”Again, he shrugged. He didn’t meet her eyes, and took a large bite out of the sandwich to avoid answering. “I didn’t stay away on purpose,” he said instead, after swallowing.“I know,” she reassured him. “I did miss you. We … we all did.”He snorted.“We did,” she insisted. Five hadn’t gotten on well with most of their siblings, beside her. He was too smart for them, and far too abrasive. Still, they’d been a team when it counted, and the house hadn’t been the same without him. In hindsight, Vanya could see that they’d all grieved. In hindsight.“Yeah, I know,” he said grudgingly.“Have you been to see anyone else yet?”He made a face, as if the thought was ludicrous. “No, I came straight here.”Vanya ducked her head to hide how pleased that made her. After all these years, Five was still the only one who made her feel appreciated. Still she cleared her throat. “We should tell them.”He flapped his hands carelessly. “Yeah, yeah. Later. Not tonight.”Vanya was fine with that. Honestly, she didn’t want to see them, either.Five was already onto his second sandwich, which finished off the last of her bread. Abruptly, Vanya remembered how much he used to eat. Maybe that was the effect of his jumps, or perhaps just being a growing adolescent, but either way, he had a very high calorie intake. God only knew what jumping through time would do to his metabolism, let alone whatever had happened to him in the future. And if he was going to be staying here, she needed to stock up. “I, uh. I’ve been meaning to go shopping,” she said, self-conscious. He didn’t need to know that she basically lived off cereal and tea. “There’s a place just down the road. Do you feel up to going? Or do you want to stay here?”“I’ll come,” he said, which was a relief. She had an awful feeling that he might disappear again if he left her sight. “I don’t trust you to buy the good coffee.”Vanya smiled. “Probably a good call.”The supermarket was an … enlightening experience. Five grumbled over various things as they browsed the shelves. Coffee brands, saran wrap prices, and teenage shoppers on their phones were all fair game. He reminded her of a grumpy old man. Yet, at checkout, the cashier somehow mistook him for Vanya’s son.“Actually, he’s my brother,” Vanya said, tentatively holding Five back by the shoulder as he bristled.“Oh,” the cashier said, embarrassed. “Sorry.”“You should be sorry,” Five snapped, grabbing two of the shopping bags and storming out the door.Vanya hurried to catch up with him. “Weird, huh?” she said, glancing at his face. “I’ve got such a baby face. People usually mistake me for a teenager, now suddenly I’m a mom.”“People are stupid,” he said viciously.“Yeah, I know.” She snuck a glance at herself in a nearby shop window. “Still, I must have more wrinkles than I thought.”Five stopped abruptly, and turned his intense gaze on her. She wondered if he was going to start snapping at her, next. But all he said was, “You shouldn’t be so self-deprecating, Vanya.”She laughed weakly. “I was just joking.”“I don’t care. Stop it.”“Oh.” She had no idea what was going on. “Uh, okay.”Five sighed deeply. “You know what? Lets put the bags away and then go out.”“Out?”“For dinner and coffee. I know a place.”Vanya studied him. He looked utterly exhausted, like he might fall asleep at any minute. Maybe that was why he was acting so grumpy. “Are you sure?” she asked. “I could cook.”“No, let’s go out.”“Uh, ok.”They ended up at a hole-in-the-wall diner not far from her place. Five ordered a black coffee and held it to his chest like it was a sacred talisman. Vanya eyed it with worry – caffeine wasn’t good for kids, right? – but wasn’t brave enough to say anything. Honestly, she felt like she’d fallen down the rabbit hole. Five was an agent of chaos in an already chaotic, unforgiving world, and she was just a little plant being buffeted around by the wind.“I tell you what, the coffee’s great, but the service never gets any better,” he said, glaring at their apathetic waitress as she left.That ‘grumpy old man’ face was back, and if Vanya was being honest, it had been there the whole time. Five looked exactly as she remembered, but at the same time, he was a stranger. Everything about him, from the way he held himself to the way he spoke, indicated years of experiences that she didn’t have any insight into. There was so much he wasn’t telling her. She realised, with a shock, that it was exactly the kind of gentle deception that Pogo had given them as kids, doing what he could to protect them from the horrid realities of the world.If Vanya was going to get any answers, the first step was to treat him like an adult, not a child. Because he clearly hadn’t been a child in a long, long time. “Five,” she said, holding her own mug of tea. “How long were you in the future for?”He sipped his coffee. “A while,” he said.“Five.”He sighed and plonked his mug down. “Fine. I was in the future for about … forty-five years.”Vanya’s eyes went wide as she did the math. “You’re fifty-eight?” she whispered.He snorted. “Not anymore. See, I’ve been travelling for a while since then. Trying to get back to the right spot. So I guess I’m more like … sixty-three.”She slumped back in her seat. “Holy shit.”“Yeah.”“That’s like, a lifetime. What did you do?”He didn’t answer for a long time, his expression distant and cold. Vanya began to regret asking. What did it matter? He was back, and all she really wanted was for him to never leave again. Before she could dismiss the question, however, he spoke up. “The future … it’s not great. I was alone for a long time. Well, except for Dolores.”“Dolores?”A small, wistful smile appeared on his face. She leaned forward eagerly. “Was that your girlfriend? Your … your wife?”It sounded so ridiculous, but come on. Forty-five years? It made sense. He cleared his throat. “No quite. Not many marriage celebrants in the apocalypse, you know?”Vanya’s stomach dropped. “The apocalypse?”“Yeah.” He gave her a serious look. “Like I said, not great.”“The world’s going to end?”“Sooner than you think. Everything around us, all up in flames. I got stuck there, and I couldn’t get back.”She stared at him, speechless once again. He said it so frankly. The sounds of the diner, and the traffic outside, suddenly felt too-loud. She tried to imagine it all being gone, turned to ash and rubble. It felt so impossible. Something about Five’s wild eyes made her wonder if he was in his right mind.“You don’t believe me,” he concluded.“No! No, I mean … it’s just …”“It’s okay,” he said. “I get it. It’s a lot. Sometimes I don’t believe it myself.” He glanced away, looking old and haunted. Vanya tried to imagine her brother, thirteen-years-old and stuck in some wasteland, all alone. He might be chronologically in his sixties now, but he really didn’t look it. Whether the world ended or not, it was obvious that something happened. Vanya couldn’t help but feel a rush of protectiveness towards him, and reached over to take his hand. Like before, he stiffened for a moment and looked at her hand like it was a puzzling equation he couldn’t quite figure out.“I don’t know what to believe,” she said softly. “But I want to help, and I’m listening.”Another smile caught on his face, just for a second, before disappearing. “You always do.” He pulled away and folded his hands on the table like a young CEO. Vanya decided to go along with this, for the time being. “How does the world end?”He peered at her for a long minute, then said, quite deliberately, “I don’t know.”Vanya knew instantly that he was lying. He’d never been a great liar, preferring brutal honesty. Before she could call him on it, though, he continued. “But I know how to save it.”“Really? How?”He leaned forward over his clasped hands. “You, Vanya.”“What?” She leaned back, wary.“It’s you. That’s why I came back.” He grinned at her, his eyes wide and wild. “You’re destined to save the world.”
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Five slept on her couch. She offered him the bed, but he declined, and when she pushed the issue, he stubbornly curled up and refused to move. He was asleep within seconds. Vanya wasn’t so lucky. She tossed and turned, getting up a few times through the night just to check that he was still there. He was.The next morning, she was basically a zombie at breakfast, whereas he was intensely awake.“We’ll start small,” he said, in between shovelling toast and coffee into his face. “Work out way up to the big stuff.”Vanya shook her head. She still had no idea what he wanted from her. “Five, I … I don’t have powers.”“Yes, you do.”“No.”“Yes!”Vanya rubbed her eyes. She was too tired for this. Other, more pressing issues were taking up her attention. For instance, if Five was going to be staying with her long-term (and he’d made it quite clear that he wasn’t going back to Dad), then she needed to start earning more money, stat. He’d also need his own bed. And she still needed to find a way to tell the others that he was back. Which meant she’d need to track them down, and that wouldn’t be easy. Allison was in LA, Diego was in hiding, Klaus didn’t have a fixed address, and Luther was, to the best of her knowledge, still on the moon. Also, they all hated her.Five snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Hey! Are you listening?”She pushed down her irritation. “Yeah.”“Great, then let’s go.” He hopped off the bench, where he was sitting, and tried to usher her out the door.“Whoa, hey. I have a class in twenty minutes.”“Class?” he repeated, making a face.“Yeah, violin lesson. You know, my livelihood? If I don’t get paid, there will be no food, and probably no apartment either.”He sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose, as if she were being unreasonable. “Vanya, this is the end of the world.”“Yeah, I know.” She pulled away and crossed her arms, trying for an authoritative tone. He might be an old man at heart, but he was sure acting like a child. “But I have a life here, still. I can’t just drop it.”He glared angrily for a long moment. “Fine. Fine. I’ll wait.” With that, he flopped onto her sofa and continued to glare.Vanya sighed too. “Great.”Her next client – an eleven-year-old girl with lots of potential and no confidence whatsoever – seemed very distracted by Five’s presence. She kept glancing over her shoulder and messing up her notes. No matter what Vanya tried to imply, Five didn’t let up. He sat there the whole time, angry and unblinking.“Hey,” she said to her student. “Don’t worry about the audience, okay? You’re here to do a job. Create something special. Whether they appreciate it or not is their own problem.”Eventually, the girl let go of her worries and because fully preoccupied with her music. So did Vanya. For now, she put the apocalypse out of her mind and focussed on teaching. She wasn’t wholly unaware of Five – in fact, she secretly hoped to impress him – but it was secondary to the task at hand.When it was over and the girl left, her spine just a little straighter than when she’d entered, Vanya leaned back against the door and closed her eyes. “You’re a menace,” she told her brother.He cleared his throat. “You’re good.”Vanya’s eyes snapped open “Really?”He didn’t repeat the compliment, though. Instead, he spatial jumped in front of her, startling her. She hadn’t seen him do that in many, many years. “Are you done for the day?”“I guess?”“Great, then let’s go.” He took her hand, and this time Vanya didn’t resist. He jumped them both into a large, empty warehouse, blue-white flashing around them. Vanya wobbled as her feet touched the ground, and she sank to her knees.“I didn’t know you could do that,” she gasped.“What?”“Bring people with you.” She accepted his hand up. “On your jumps.”“Yeah, it’s a bit new. You learn all kinds of things over the years.” He took a few steps back and studied her. “Did you abstain from taking your pills, like I asked?”Vanya fidgeted. She’d felt bad, putting her medicine bottle back in the cupboard last night, unopened. Like she was breaking the rules, somehow. But she’d obeyed, because what was a little anxiety, really? Five needed her to believe in the apocalypse, believe in her, somehow, as the saviour of the world. It was insane, but Vanya didn’t want to crush his dreams without some hard evidence, first. “I didn’t take them.”“Good.” He stepped back, his hands behind his back, and turned to her with a critical eye. All of a sudden, Vanya was a child again before her father’s surly gaze. She looked down, feeling ashamed.“Hey.” Five caught her gaze, making her look back up. “It’s okay. You have a lot of power, but you don’t have to be afraid.”Vanya didn’t know what to say to that. She watched as he lined three buckets of water between them, a barrier, then stepped back. He then picked up a triangle instrument and a stick. Vanya realised that, somewhere along the way, he’d come prepared for this. “Okay,” he said. “Now. Concentrate on this sound, okay?”He rapped the stick against the triangle, releasing a clear, melodic sound. Then he did it again, the note quivering through the air. And again. And again. The vibrations merged into each other, creating an ongoing, rippling effect. Vanya found her eyes sliding shut, feeling the sound reverberate around her head. Without thinking about it, she let all her thoughts slide away, leaving only sound and echoes behind.“Yes,” she heard Five hiss. She cracked her eyes open, and saw the water rise above the buckets, curving around in clear streams. The very air around them seemed to pulse and sing. Her eyes went wide and the water splashed to the ground, its spray catching Five around the ankles.“Yes! Good! Fantastic,” he said, looking at Vanya. “You’ve got it. Now I just need to see some control.”“I … what is this?” she said, breathless.“It’s you. You’re making this happen.”“But I can’t!” she blurted out, her voice echoing around the warehouse. “I don’t have powers. I’m just …” her father’s voice echoed in her head, the same word that had defined her ever since she could remember. “Just ordinary!”He smiled at her, one of his rare, unguarded and non-cynical smiles. “Vanya, you are anything but ordinary.” He brandished the triangle. “Shall we try again?”_“Why did he never tell me?” Vanya said later, sitting on the wet floor. She had exhausted herself, but her blood still felt like it was singing. She’d never felt so awake. “Why did he let me believe I was useless?”“He was afraid,” Five said simply.Vanya looked up at him. “Afraid? Of me? Why?”Five paused, as if choosing his next words carefully. The seconds ticked by, and Vanya felt unease rise up beneath her euphoria and wonderment. “Five?”He shook himself. “Dad was an old coward. He wanted to collect a bunch of superpowered children, but the second he was faced with real power, he couldn’t handle it.”Vanya stared at her hands, thinking about that. “He always told you guys that you had to stop the apocalypse,” she said, remembering. “Be heroes. I wanted to be a hero, too, but he wouldn’t let me.”“Yeah, he wanted it all on his own terms. Vanya, your powers are beyond anything he could shape or control. He left it up to the rest of us because we were more reliable little players, and thus, the apocalypse happened. Self-fulfilling prophecy, and all that crap.”“And you think I can stop it? Seriously?”“I know you can.”She swallowed. “You know, I don’t really blame him for being afraid,” she confessed. “I’m kind of afraid, too.”Five inclined his head. “It’s big, sure. But it’s yours. You just need to learn how to embrace it and control it. I’m gonna help you.” Five helped her up off the floor. “We’ve got almost two years to get you up to scratch.”Vanya flinched in surprise. “The world’s supposed to end in two years?”“Yeah, plenty of time. Trust me, I’ve dealt with worse odds than that.”_Days turned into a week, and then two weeks. Vanya and Five went to the warehouse nearly every day to practice. She never did get around to telling her siblings what was going on. She did, however, manage to rake in a few more violin students and sell her old dresser, which allowed enough money to provide for an extra person living in the home. The first step was buying Five some more clothes, though neither of them were entirely happy with the prospect.“So,” Vanya said, standing awkwardly in the entrance of the department store. She hated clothes shopping, personally. It always made her feel uncomfortable, and the crowded, too-bright stores gave her a headache. “Where do you want to start?”He scowled, looking remarkably like a teenager for a moment. “I don’t care.”Perhaps sensing weakness, a sales clerk approached them. “Hi there,” she said to Vanya. Her eyes traced over the logo on Five’s sweater vest, and a faint look of confusion crossed her face. “Do you and your son need any assistance?”Vanya winced and opened her mouth to correct her, remembering how Five had reacted last time. But he grabbed her by the wrist and gave the woman a tight smile. “Mom and I were just looking for the … young adult section,” he said through gritted teeth.“Oh, of course. It’s just down that way!”Five dragged Vanya away, leaving her to smile weakly at the sales clerk in thanks. As soon as they were out of earshot, she said, “What was that about?”Five glanced around warily, although none of the customers were paying them any attention. “She recognised the Umbrella Academy outfit. Might have even been a fan, back in the day. I didn’t want her to recognise you as well, and start making connections.”“Why would she recognise me?” Vanya wondered out loud.“Because you wrote a tell-all autobiography, maybe?” he said sarcastically.“Oh.” Vanya felt her face heat up. “Right.”Five started browsing through the clothes aisles, though he didn’t seem to be paying much attention. “I was thinking,” he said. “It’s probably not the worst thing to be mistaken for your son rather than your brother. We should stop correcting people who make that assumption.”Vanya made a bemused face and tossed some socks in her shopping cart. “I thought you hated it.”“Granted, it’s humiliating. I’m old enough to be your father, at least. But if it keeps people from asking questions, I’ll play along.” He picked up a shirt, glared at it, and threw it away in disgust. “Besides, it’s not like I’m not damn well used to it by now.”Vanya frowned. It had only been two times as far as she knew.They continued to look for clothes, though without much success. He shot down all her suggestions, but refused to pick out anything himself. He also seemed irrationally annoyed at the mannequins they passed, glaring at them as if they were real people who might pose a threat. She could have sworn he told one of them off for being judgemental. It was strange, how calm and collected Five was when he was teaching her how to use her powers, but situations like this seemed to knock him right off kilter. She wondered, not for the first time, exactly what he’d had to endure in the apocalypse.“Okay, look,” she finally said, trying to take charge. This wasn’t her forte either, but she didn’t want either of them getting more agitated. “The sooner we can pick out your clothes, the sooner we can get out of here.”“Nothing works!”Vanya wondered if he’d become overly attached to his uniform. Maybe if everything was always changing around him, then one outfit was all he had to keep grounded. Or perhaps she was just reading into it too much. “We’ll keep it simple,” she said, throwing a few pairs of jeans, some shirts, and a couple of swearers into the cart. She went for dark colours that didn’t draw attention; that, at least, was something she was good at. “You wanna try them on?”“Nope.”She sighed. Well, they’d probably fit.It was a relief to finally leave the store and head home. Five still looked grumpy, though, Maybe even more than before. He snapped at her when she asked what he wanted for dinner.“Hey,” she said, finally fed up. “Look, I know you’ve been through a lot, but it’s no reason to be an ass. I don’t really know what I’m doing here, but I’m trying. Okay?”He turned his sharp glare on her and didn’t say anything for a minute. Vanya forced herself to hold his gaze and let him know she was serious. Finally, he sighed, his shoulder slumping.“You’re right. Sorry.” His jaw worked, as if he was trying to find the right words to explain himself. “The store just brought back some memories. I met Dolores in a place like that.”“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.”He shrugged dispassionately. “Why would you?”Vanya sat down carefully and watched him. He didn’t talk about his time in the apocalypse much. “You met her in a department store?”“It was a wreck. She was the only one left.” A ghost of a smile crossed his face. “She was all banged up but she was a survivor. Like me.”There was a pause, while Vanya waited patiently and he stared into the distance, looking worlds away from her tiny apartment. Abruptly, he sniffed and snatched the bag of clothes up. “Thanks,” he muttered, and went to lock himself in the bathroom.He stayed in there for over an hour. Vanya busied herself with making dinner, and turned the TV on low to distract herself from worrying. When Five finally emerged, dressed in the pyjamas she’d gotten him, she was sitting on the couch watching some stupid disaster movie that was on TV. He helped himself to the pasta bake sitting on the bench, and came to sit down heavily beside her.“Oh, we … we don’t have to watch this,” she said, suddenly self-conscious.“It’s fine,” he said flatly.They watched the movie in silence for a while, until Five took issue with some of the very dubious science that the movie used to explain monster hurricanes. After that, he wouldn’t shut up. Vanya hid a smile as she watched him get more and more worked up over it. She made tea during the commercial break. (Five had somehow stocked her upper shelf with alcohol while she wasn’t watching, and Vanya was strategically pretending not to notice yet).There was a particular musical arrangement that the movie used whenever the hurricanes formed. As dumb as the whole thing was, Vanya quite liked the music. It was ominous, but oddly beautiful, repeated over and over again with rising intensity throughout the climax. She glanced sideways at Five, and then at her mug of tea. Concentrating on the musical rift, Vanya manipulated the tea into rising from the mug. It wasn’t perfect; the mug itself jittered and jumped, and a couple of drops spilled. Still she kept at it, until the liquid formed a stream and circled over the table.Five glanced at it, then at her, startled. Then his face broke into a genuine grin. Vanya smiled back and picked up the mug by her hand and let the tea pour itself back inside.“Showing off, now?” Five said. “I like it.”They finished the movie and allowed the next one to come on. Vanya fell asleep about ten minutes in, and when she next woke up, the credits were rolling. She realised that Five had also dozed off. His head was lolling on her shoulder, and there was a half-full glass of whiskey held loosely in his fingers. Vanya put the glass on the coffee table, out of danger, and gently helped Five to lay down properly.“Dolores?” he mumbled.She draped the blanket over him. “No, it’s your sister.”“Allison?”Vanya froze, staring at him. He’d barely mentioned their siblings since getting back, only asking superficial questions about their lives and seeming unsurprised by her answers. And as far as she could remember, he and Allison had never been that close. Vanya felt a tiny stab of suspicion, and then told herself off for being stupid. He was just dreaming, that was all.“No, it’s Vanya. I’m just going to bed. Go back to sleep, okay?”He muttered something unintelligible, and rolled over to press his face into the back of the sofa. Vanya turned the television and the lights off. She glanced back at him before closing the door to her room. He looked so young. But as she was learning every day, Five had lived a long time, and he held on to so many secrets.Vanya was so sick of secrets.