Archive of Our Own

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( i )
When Kim Taehyung was ten, he watched When Harry met Sally with his mom.According to the boy, that was the best romantic comedy ever and he hoped to find a love like what Harry and Sally's have. Not only because he was a dreamer, but because he believed that soul mates existed and that they always found a way to meet, so he had decided that he would do like Harry when he found love.He would grab this person in his arms and never let him go.Taehyung would stay with this person for the rest of his life and love this person unconditionally.So these were the exact words that ten-year-old Kim Taehyung told his mother, just as Harry told Sally when they finally met for the last time:
[...] when you realize that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want this life to begin as quickly as possible.

- c -
When Kim Taehyung was sixteen, he moved to Seoul to look out for his dream, become a photographer.Taehyung first year in Seoul was what he named transient depression because the boy was overwhelmed with problems he had never had before in life. It was in that same year that Kim Taehyung met who he believed to be the Sally of his Harry, who made his heart pound whenever he saw him and who dreamed awake during class.When Kim Taehyung was eighteen, he knew Harry would probably have called Sally if life were really like rom-com, because Taehyung's heart felt like a motor and somehow he knew it was his soul mate."Ah... here, it has a gift for you” he said, holding a yellow package. "You're always at our establishment, I think you're the most dedicated customer to this place, so I think it's fair to offer you some doughnuts”.At that time, they didn't really know each other.Taehyung knew his name.The smile on his face shuddered at the sound of his gesture, for a moment he thought he had made the worst of his mistakes."Ah. You don’t have to accept it if you don't want to. It's just-”"Oh. No. No!” he said with a more excited smile, opening his book to take the photograph he had been saving for some time. "It's actually... hmm" he grinned, holding the thing. "I come here every day trying to find the right moment to give it back to you”.Taehyung's brown eyes narrowed curiously, and when he finally paid attention to what was in his hands, he was surprised.It was a photograph of him.Taehyung had taken his first personal picture when he arrived in Seoul, it was something he didn’t feel comfortable doing because he always found himself too strange to be his own model. But he had saved this picture so he could remember to smile more because he was the only one who had managed to smile."Oh!""I found this at the beginning of the semester" he explained with a smile on his face. "My friends said I should give it back, but I don’t think I found a good time to do it back then. You're always running in college and here, well... it's your workplace. I didn’t want to mess up or show up in your dormitory all of a sudden”.Taehyung's eyes seemed to smile."Ah"."Here. Try not to miss it again... ""Thank you" Taehyung smiled at his picture. "And here. I hope you like. And thank you again for saving my photo”."I just did my job..." he said taking his things. "I have to go".He nodded smiling, before shouting:"My name is Taehyung!"That smile.Taehyung would never forget that smile again."I know." was what he said as if he knew how much it would affect the boy's heart. "See you... Taehyung”.
( ii )
"All I asked for was the big bear! What's the problem in making an effort and winning the big for me?!”"What an ungrateful child!" Kim Namjoon sighed, pulling the boy by the arm. "I gave my best, okay? Crashing with that hammer isn’t that simple, it's heavy, man. Thank you for having achieved that”.His eyes rolled in the orbits and his tongue scratched to debate his friend's lazy response, but he just ignored it because he knew that if he tried to create a fight he would end up without his only prize and he would be upset about it."Whatever" he grunted standing next to the candy stall with his friend. "I'll call it-Taehyung?""Are you going to call your bear ‘Taehyung’?" Namjoon asked. "Don’t you think it's strange to call you bear like your crush? Ewc”."No stupid. Taehyung!” he said, pointing at the lone boy in front of the carousel. "Why is he here alone?"Namjoon paid his purchase and handed the bullet pack to his friend:"I heard he doesn’t have many friends here" he said, looking for the blue candy to eat first. "Most of his friends are serving this year, so he spends most of his time alone. Or with Mina”."Minatozaki Sana?""Huh." Namjoon nodded. "They are friends. She doesn’t tell you?”"No, she doesn’t.” he whispered thoughtfully. "Wait for me here”."What?" the tall man eyes widened. "Are you going to leave me alone?"When Kim Taehyung was nineteen the love of his life approached on a hot summer night in an amusement park, offering a smile and a candy:"Isn’t it funny the way people meet?"He turned, startled, finding the only smile in that city that could make his heart stop beating in a miserable instant."Oh.” he did not know what to say. "Hi"."Hi"."What a surprise to meet you here..." he said uneasily, accepting the candy. "Thank you"."It’s nothing." his voice sounded apprehensive. He waited, waited, waited but the boy didn’t say anything. He looked so scared. "Well, I just came to see if you were having fun. And thank you again for the food that day. The doughnut was really delicious” he say. "Ah... I have to go back to my friend now. I'll see you in the cafeteria on Monday?”"Yes"."Fine." he nodded, putting the candy in his pocket. "See you".Harry had let Sally go more often than Taehyung could tell, and all of them had been painful.He understood the sensation now, seeing him turn his back and leave without first remaining in his life was painful:"Jimin!"Taehyung's heart clenched as the dark-haired boy turned to him as if he were really waiting for it:"Taehyung?""Do you want to go to the movies with me?" Jimin's smile lit up his face and Taehyung almost died. "Tomorrow. Do you want to go... with me...?""I'd love to, Taehyung”.
( iii )
"Well, this is where we say goodbye”."Huh”."It was fun"."Yeah".This was their 11º ‘date’.And all he wanted was to be able to say what he thought whenever he saw him go to his dorm. Stay with me.Taehyung always heard his friends talk about Park Jimin, a music student who touched all hearts and who never let himself be touched back. They always said that Jimin was quiet, smiling and charming, that they wanted to have someone like him to love, who would like to know the right path to their heart.He always listened to them and always imagined how it should be...To be loved by someone like Park Jimin, who was... perfect.That made his heartthrob in his chest and that left him speechless.He was his Sally."Taehyung?""Huh?"Jimin smiled before saying:"Do you know that I like the way you yell at your co-worker? Or the way you always make double knots on your shoe. How you stand facing any landscape you think is beautiful, as if you're imagining the best story to it before taking a picture. I also like the way you always tidy up your hair and how you dress…” Park Jimin couldn’t leave Kim Taehyung's life because he was the one Taehyung wanted. "And I like the way you looks at me in the cafeteria without realizing I know you’re looking at me because all I want is to look at you back”.If Taehyung could see himself when he’s ten, he would thank baby Taehyung for watching that movie and for making him meet Park Jimin."You can... ah... you... can…”"Kiss you now?"Taehyung nodded desperately, feeling that if he delayed more he might wake up and find out that none of this was happening and that-Park Jimin's lips touched his, turning his mind into a quiet, peaceful sea.He was finally in heaven.
( iv )
Taehyung ran his hands through his blonde hair and smiled, leaning against the piano as he watched Jimin play with his eyes closed as if the angels were singing in his ears and everything was perfect.It was funny, but somehow Taehyung felt at home when he was with Jimin, watching him play.It was funny, but Taehyung knew he would love him forever."It's perfect." he smiled as his boyfriend finished, opening his eyes with a look he couldn’t describe. "I loved it, baby. This is perfect and they're going to love you, you'll do well at the audition”."Do you trust me that much?""With all my soul!"Jimin smiled, pulling him, making Taehyung sit on his legs.His dark eyes trailed Taehyung’s smiling face and he knew, he was in love with him.He loved him so much that his heart would ache and his body cries out for his presence. He had no idea how that had happened to him because he was always so careful with his heart, yet Taehyung put him on his knees and tamed him.It took him just under nine months to be sure that Taehyung's heart was his home and that he wanted to live with him forever."Have I told you today that I love you?""Huh... yes." Taehyung nodded. "But say it again”."I love you" Jimin smiled. "I love you. I love you. I fucking love you Kim Taehyung. I will always love you. Always”.And Taehyung would love him back because that was his only dream."I love you too Park Jimin".
( v )
Hoseok and Yoongi exchanged startled looks when they heard the screaming upstairs.They were waiting when the fight began and they heard Jimin yell at Taehyung about something they didn’t understand for real.The first fight came a year after they started dating. Everyone thought it was strange because they weren’t the type of couple who were disconcerted and suddenly Jimin was crying and Taehyung was standing in a corner as if life had come to an end.It started because of him. Taehyung knew this, that he’s had been the virus in their lives. As he finally understood why movies always ended in a happy ending, why they didn’t show what happened afterwards... real life didn’t stop at "lived happily until the end", always had more than a simple finally and now he knew that.Real people don’t get stuck in perfect scenes, they cannot pause in the only moment they were happy and that’s why movies didn’t show what came after... because the after was ugly."I'm so sorry...""You always say it, Taehyung. Always! The only thing I asked to you was to be honest with me, to tell me when you're feeling down, but” Jimin sighed squeezing his temples. He’s annoying. "I cannot help if you don’t want to be helped, no matter how you say that this is your life and you have to solve it yourself, because nobody does anything alone in life, we needed help for everything and it is not a sin to ask for help”."I know, I know. It's just... you have your problems with college, with the orchestra... I didn’t want to overload you with my problems too. I cannot let my life get in the way of yours, so I didn’t I lie”."Taehyung" Jimin sighed in annoyance, approaching his boyfriend to make him realize that there was no logic in excluding him that way. He held him gently. "I promised I'd be here for everything, not just for being your boyfriend, but for being your friend. If you have problems let me help. I understand you don’t feel comfortable having me paying for your things, but what kind of boyfriend would I be if I couldn’t help who I love?”"Jimin-""Just let me".Taehyung didn’t like the idea of having Jimin paying for his things, he knew it was common when someone was dating, but he needed to be adult enough to take the consequences of his actions. So he hadn’t said anything to Jimin, because he didn’t want to see him take his troubles to himself and neglect everything he needed to focus on."I'm sorry I didn’t say anything" he finally admitted, pouting on his lips. "I was ashamed to admit that I was in trouble with money because of a silly little mistake”."Silly?" Jimin laughs looking at the cameras. "You bought seven cameras Tae, how can this be a silly mistake?""Do you want to fight again?"Park Jimin laughed as he hugged his boyfriend.They stayed that way for a while. It was sad what came after the ‘lived happily ever after’ because fighting with who you loved was never good. So it was really sad, but Taehyung was relieved to know that there was always a way around it."Never feel ashamed to ask for my help, Tae. I want to spend my life by your side, so please see me as someone who will always support you and be here for you...” Park Jimin whispered, placing a kiss on his Taehyung’s neck. "Never exclude me like that again, okay? Never"."Okay." Taehyung was sure he would stay with Jimin for the rest of his life and he had to take it all at once: "I promise I'll never exclude you from my life and hide someone again. So do the same and lean on me for whatever you need. I'll always be here”."I love you..."
( vi )
"You look tired". Sana repeated putting a glass of coffee in front of Taehyung. "What happened? Why are you like this?”"I stayed up late looking for a job”."Oh." that was the first time Sana had heard about it, she thought that he was still working at the cafeteria. "I didn’t know you’re looking for a new job. What happened to the cafeteria?”"Don’t even ask." the boy say sipping from the coffee, not taking his eyes off the phone. "I'm after a job for two months, but it's being difficult. They aren’t accepting those who didn’t finish college. The other place doesn’t pay too much. I couldn’t survive a week without Jimin needing to help me”."You really hate him for paying your bills, don’t you?""Huh. Jimin works in that shop like a slave, the money that his parents give goes all for college expenses, I can’t just accept that he can’t do whatever he wants just because he needs to help me up, Sana. I hate to see him try so hard for both of us”."He loves you, Tae. It is normal for him to work for both. This is a ‘relationship’ dude.” the girl sighed sympathetically. “But I understand you, so I can’t say anything about it.” she shrugged, picking up her phone. "So I'm going to send you my cousin's contact. He has a bookstore and is after for someone”."Seriously?""Huh. Say I recommended you.” Sana said sending the contact to her friend. "I'll leave a message saying that you're going to send a message. But I'll tell you right away, he's really annoying with the books and wants someone who can handle it. Keep this in mind”."It's all right. It's all right. I can handle anything, as long as I get paid for it.” Taehyung smiled excitedly. "Ah. Thank you, Sana”."Don’t thank you yet, sweetheart, you're going to have to introduce me to that friend of yours... the cute little weirdo. Broken camera boy?”"Namjoon?""That's it. I only know him by sight and I want... you know, meet new people. My cycle of friends is crap”.Taehyung laughed.Sana was not Namjoon’s type, but she didn’t need to know that."Deal. I introduce you formally to Namjoon”.
( vii )
"Taehyung?""Down here!""Hey. We have an order of books to be picked up at the centre, but our delivery man can’t fetch today and I need this shipment to the new shelf before we open." Sato commented uncertainly, seeing Taehyung finish cataloguing the damaged books. "Can you go get it for me? I can’t leave the bookstore”."Of course." the boy nodded. "And here. I counted all the damaged books, called the cooperative and I marked the recycling. If you want I can go get them when they confirm”."Great. Do this.” the man said happily. "You really did get the hang of it, didn’t you? I'm impressed by your determination”."My payment at the end of the month makes me determined this way”.Taehyung said goodbye to mr. Sato and Bora before riding the bookstore motorcycle and moving on to the address the man had just given him. He just needed to get back before it was time to open.- c -Park Jimin's lips on Kim Taehyung's sweaty skin was something that always brought him to his limit, which spilt electric currents all over his body and made him call his name as an appeal to the gods.Taehyung never imagined that being with someone he loved could be so good until he met Jimin, who took him to other lands with his diabolic mouth and perfect smile.The blond-haired boy tightened the sheets feeling his boyfriend touch his prostate for the first time, an unintended finding that made him sink his face into the pillow and moan between his serrated teeth.Jimin in turn couldn’t wish for anything more than to make Taehyung happy because he loved him so much he just wanted to be good enough to keep the smile on his handsome face.He gripped the older man's waist harder as he begged for the end of that torture and moved his hip, feeling his crotch lean against the boy's ass, which moaned his name like a relentless mantra. Jimin smiled as he ran his hand through the boyfriend's thighs, holding his cock between his fingers as he began to jerk him slowly as he came in and out of him.The sensation in his cock made Taehyung close his eyes as hard as he could and moan as he took the boyfriend's hand, who kissed him on the back and held him firmly in place, continuing to fuck him hard.When he finally cum on his boyfriend's ass, Jimin breathed in between the laughter and lay down beside the older man, placing a kiss on the top of his head as he held him in his arms again."Happy birthday, dear".Taehyung laughed softly, with his eyes closed."Happy birthday, Jimin”.
- c -
"Is it good?" Jimin asked massaging Taehyung's foot, which sank into the tub and closed his eyes with a sigh. He smiled as he took the cigarette out of his mouth. "If I had seen you like that six months ago, I would never have said that you would seem happy to be so tired”."The effect of a salary increase, baby. Not even the weariness can win a salary per month." the boy teased biting his lips as he had a sore spot massaged by his boyfriend. "Ah. Good"."Huh? Here?” he asked, watching the boy nod. His fingers pressed against the place that made him squirm. "Now give me the other foot" he asked taking the cigarette again. "Now that you have a better salary, when are you going to take me to meet your parents?"The smile on Taehyung's face disappeared.It wasn’t easy to talk about it because they always ended up fighting, Jimin don’t understand why he couldn’t meet his boyfriend's parents since they were dating for two years. The fact is that Taehyung's mother could be a love and understanding mom, but his father wasn’t so easy to deal with like that and he didn’t want to see his boyfriend upset for not being accepted - he knew it wasn’t fair since he had met the Jimin's parents, but he didn’t want to do that."How about New Year?" He lied, knowing that his parents wouldn’t be in the country in the new year because they were going to visit a relative in London. "Now they are too busy with work, it wouldn’t be a good time and you have an orchestra. Let's do it in the new year, shall we?"Jimin didn’t know it was a lie and so he smiled as if that was the best promise they had ever made for themselves. Somehow it was."In the new year then.” the younger nodded. "I can’t wait to meet your mother in person. I bet we're going to get along”.Taehyung felt bad for needing to lie to Jimin, but he knew he would understand in the end. He just didn’t want to see him sad."I'm sure she'll love you."
( viii )
The problem with lies is that somehow they always come unstuck and when that happens a lot is taken from the place. Especially the confidence you have in the person who lied to you.It was exactly what Taehyung lost that year-end, Jimin's confidence, who discovered his lie in a terrible way by commenting with Namjoon that they would go to Daegu at the end of the year and the older man thought it strange. It took less than a second for Jimin to understand that Taehyung had lied about that too.He wouldn’t know his boyfriend's parents and he was the only one who hadn’t realized that. So Taehyung lost all Jimin's confidence."You acts as if it were plausible to hide from your parents because one of them will not accept me. But how however has to accept me is you, Taehyung. Your parents are a bonus I have to thank for having, even if they don’t like me.” Jimin screamed, stuffing a few pieces of clothing into his backpack. He would spend a few days with Namjoon because he was tired of fighting. "I'm staying with Namjoon for a few days”."What?" Taehyung shouted back. "You can’t go out like that, Jimin. This is not fair. I was trying to protect you from my father, he wouldn’t accept us and-”"I don’t care about him, I care about you. The only thing I wanted was to be part of your life as much as you are a part of mine. We've been through this with my grandmother Taehyung, and I've been on your side even though she hates you. Getting to know your family isn’t about who will or doesn’t like your boyfriend, it's about making you part of your family and showing that you want something lasting".Taehyung knew that somehow Jimin was right and that he had stood by his side when his grandmother said she didn’t approve of what they had, but it wasn’t easy. His father was even more intolerant than Jimin’s grandmother and he was afraid things would get out of control and someone would actually get hurt."Okay, okay." Taehyung whimpered, grabbing Jimin by the arm. "You're right. I shouldn’t have lied, I should have officially introduced them to them when I had a chance and it was stupid to think hiding it was the best choice... I made a mistake and I'm sorry. But Jimin, please don’t leave me in this apartment alone. Please".The only thing left of Park Jimin was to be weak when it came to Kim Taehyung. He was disappointed, sad and hurt by what his boyfriend had done, but he couldn’t just ignore the startled look on his face without feeling his chest hurt.He was an idiot who no longer trusted the person he loved for all the times he had lied, and for not being able to simply run away from his stupid heart when the boy looked at him like that.Jimin sighed, dropping his pack."Never try to protect me by telling lies. Relationships that involve lies don’t work and I want us to work Taehyung, I want to be with you for the rest of my life, so... don’t lie to me any more please. Please"."I promise. I'm not going to lie to you anymore”.
( ix )
"Whose are these cigarettes?""Huh?"Park Jimin took off his jacket and left the key on the table before approaching Taehyung and placing a kiss on his forehead. He pointed to the cigarette holder on the couch and asked again:"So?"The corners of Taehyung's eyes crinkled at the sight of the loose object on his couch. For a long minute he wondered what to say:"Sana's." Taehyung sighed and went back through his magazine. "She came to see the apartment earlier and must have forgotten them”.Jimin scratched the back of his neck and nodded, saying he would take a shower before preparing something to eat.Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin were together for three years. They had medium-sized jobs and had saved enough money to enter an apartment near the centre. According to their friends, they were the definition of a successful couple, because they were together longer than anyone in the group was and lived together.However, their relationship had changed over the years. Taehyung was no longer that dreamy boy who believed in everything he saw in the movies and Jimin was no longer so considerate. Perhaps because both had different responsibilities than they had when they were younger, perhaps because the function of adulthood was to change.Jimin's mother said that it was called maturity, that no couple was exactly the way they were when they met and that it was normal. Taehyung's mother, however, felt that her son was only overwhelmed with the work of a photographer and the bookstore.The truth is, no one could tell for sure why the two had changed. Different from the beginning, they no longer had the need to be always together. Taehyung went out more with Sana and the other friends now, he spent a lot of time photographing events and working at the bookstore since Jimin spent most of his time engaging in the orchestra and his work in administering the dance course in college and when they had time to be together, they just kept doing their jobs.That night was no different.Jimin picked up his notebook and sat next to Taehyung, who put his leg on his boyfriend's shoulder and revised his schedule for that week, the book archives to be recycled and the events he had to attend to honour his boyfriend. Jimin put his hand on the boy's calf and held it there until he was tired."Why don’t we go out to eat?""I can’t.” Jimin sighed wearily, taking off his glasses to squeeze his aching temples. "I have to pass the students' grades to the system until 11 pm and I have to train for my next performance on Saturday. Sorry, I can’t go out today”.Taehyung sighed."Is it okay if I go out with Sana?"“Yeah baby, it’s okay." Jimin smiled without taking his eyes off the screen. The boyfriend got rid of his touch quickly and got up by picking up his cigarette case. He watched him pass the stairs and knock on the door. "Taehyung?""What?""Are you upset?" He wanted to know. The major denied and put on his trousers. It was clear that the boy was upset with his boyfriend. "Taehyung, don’t do this, please. You know I would love to go out with you, but I have work"."I also have work to do Jimin, but I prefer to delay a few hours and go out with my boyfriend. Cannot you do the same for me?”"Unless you want to starve at the end of the month... no. I work for college, Jimin. My work can’t be neglected at all, otherwise, they can fire me. I can’t lose that job because of the orchestra, you know that”.Taehyung knew but still thought it unfair."Whatever." he complained of passing perfume. "I'll be back soon”."Taehyung..." Jimin called as he pulled himself toward him. "I promise I'll go ahead and be free for you over the weekend, okay? I'm sorry I can’t go out today, but I'll reward you”.“I hope so. And I hope it's a good reward surprise” Taehyung grumble. "Or we'll have serious problems, Jimin. Really serious problems”.Park Jimin smiled, placing a kiss on his boyfriend's lips."Be careful. Don’t drink if you drive and don’t mess up, Sana always gets you into trouble. Send her a hello”."Okay." Taehyung hurried off. "I love you".
( x )
Park Jimin always wanted to know what was going on in Kim Taehyung's mind when he looked at him so deeply, as if he wanted to tell something and didn’t know where to start. He always imagined that his boyfriend was thinking about how to ask him to marry him or how to say that he wanted children over time because that was what he wanted.He wanted to marry Taehyung and have children, even if they needed to move that country and start somewhere else. He always wondered if Taehyung would like the idea of moving and starting a family. He hoped so.Jimin smiled at his boyfriend's gaze and smoothed the back of his neck."I love you Kim Taehyung”.Taehyung's eyes always seemed to want to say something to Jimin, he just did not know exactly where to start, so he always gave up and put a smile on his face:"I love you too Park Jimin”.- c -"Sana doesn’t have a place anymore?""What?""She left her cigarette here again." Jimin explained, picking up the box of the same cigarette he had found last week. "Isn’t it the brand she smokes?" he asked throwing the box to Taehyung. "She's been here a lot. Hoseok fought with her again?”Taehyung stared at the cigarette box and sighed."I don’t know. She doesn’t say much about them.” he said, putting the cigarettes inside his backpack. "But I think she's just lonely now that Hoseok started working out of town. You know how Sana is dependent on him, she sucks when Hoseok hyung is out and knocks on our door”.Jimin nodded, picking up an apple before throwing himself on the couch to lie on his boyfriend's lap, who stared at him strangely."Okay, but ask her to stop putting these things around, I'm trying to quit smoking and you know that. It's really hard to get home and smell nicotine after you've spent all day fighting the urge to smoke”."Sorry baby. I'll talk to her"."Thanks." Jimin smiled bitingly at the apple. "Now tell me how your day was, I miss you complaining..."- c -"You don’t think he looks strange?" Yoongi asked Jimin as soon as Taehyung left them alone saying he needed to see Sana. "Why is he always so sad now?""He is just tired" Jimin repeated what his boyfriend was saying because he didn’t know exactly what to say. "He's been working non-stop, he's barely home and when he has time, he decides to work more. Tae is devoting himself to proving he deserves to have the contract renewed at the photo studio. He doesn’t want to depend solely on the work in the bookstore and so he lives working like crazy”.Yoongi bit his lip and nodded, not really sure he should tell Jimin what he had heard. Taehyung had been fired from the photo studio for a month. Jimin didn’t seem to know that."You know I love you, don’t you?""Of course I know hyung”.“Great. So don't misunderstand me, but I think you should ask your boyfriend what's really going on, Jimin. Taehyung doesn't look the same, he looks at you... I don't know, in a weird way. And he lives with secrets with Sana. Doesn't it seem like something's wrong for you?”Jimin also thought that Taehyung looked at him funny now, but he was sure his boyfriend had said everything he was supposed to say. And As for Sana, they were friends since they had begun in college, it made sense that Tae would confess to the girl.But he didn't want to upset Yoongi, so he nodded:"I'll talk when we get home”.“Great. Do it”.That night, Taehyung gave an excuse to Jimin saying that he needed to spend the night with Sana because she was upset about something that had happened with Hoseok, so he just smiled upset and nodded to his boyfriend before leaving him.That was one of the many times Jimin slept alone.- c –"Sana!"The girl turned, smiling realizing who was and bowing politely before seeing him extend a box of cigarettes to her.“ What's that?”"You left it in my home. Again." Jimin signed impatiently because he had been clear with Taehyung to warn his friend about it. He really wanted to quit smoking. "I don't know if Tae told you, but I'm trying to quit smoking and you keep dropping it at home, it's not a nice thing to do. So please try to pay attention-""But that's not mine." the girl complained. Sana was the kind of person who didn't like to be accused of something he hadn't done. "Dude you known me for almost four years, when you saw me smoke in this life? I fight with Hoseok every day because of it, so why would I have cigarettes?”Jimin attached his eyebrows.He didn't really remember watching her smoke."But Taehyung... oh... He said it was yours”.The frightened look on Sana's face showed the mistake he had just committed. Jimin looked at the box in his hand. He didn't even realize he'd just disprove the best friend in front of his boyfriend. Sana had made the greatest stupidity of her life."Jimi-""If it's not yours, whose is it?"
( xi )
When Park Jimin was ten years old, he realized that his parents loved each other unconditionally and wished to grow up to have something similar to what they had. Jimin's mother always said that her son would live a fiery passion because his heart was like a fiery fire and his determination to make someone happy was greater than the whole universe.Jimin made sure his mother was right when he first saw him, watching all his moves while the kid was talking to his friends in the college cafeteria. Then when he caught him smiling, writing his name in the window glass without knowing that anyone could recognize his handwriting.He realized that his mother was right when he found Taehyung’s photograph and wished to make him smile forever, as in that photo he kept for so long until he had the guts to talk to the boy.Jimin realized that he loved Taehyung and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him when he saw himself with a knot in his heart and a smile on his face as he watched his boyfriend wake up after a long night of love.He deposited a kiss on the boy's forehead and stood up:"Do you want to have breakfast?""I can't." Taehyung yawed sitting in bed. "I have to run to the bookstore, and I have a photoshoot at the end of the afternoon”.Jimin looked at his hands."Are you going to be late?""Probably." the other one answered by walking to the bathroom, where he turned on the shower and asked his boyfriend to get a towel. Jimin on the other hand just sat on the bed and opened Taehyung’s tablet, combing his schedule. The only thing he found was Kim Taehyung's resume and an interview schedule in a studio. “Jimin? Can you bring me the towel? Jimin...?”Jimin didn’t like to snoop, but couldn’t stop because a message appeared on the screen. When he was going to click on the name he heard the door ranger and turned off the screen, throwing himself into bed and closing his eyes to pretend to be asleep."Jimin." Taehyung sighed. "Wake up. You have to work”."Huh?" Jimin shook his eyes. “Oh. Yes. I think”."You think?" Tae laughed. "Go take a shower, I'll make a cup of coffee for you or you'll end up sleeping again. Go on, go take a shower”.He took one last look at the tablet on the bed and tightened his jaw, leaving Taehyung in the room before stopping in front of the mirror. Is he looking for a job in another studio? Jimin thought.
Why would Taehyung seek employment if mr. Lee pays well?
"Jimin?" he heard Taehyung call. "I left your coffee on the table, don't put sugar in. I’ll take the subway so you can use the car, and don't wait for me for dinner. Today's rehearsal goes up later”.Jimin stared at his reflection.He was lying.Kim Taehyung was lying.
- c –
Jimin let the cigarette smoke through his nose and kept his eyes fixed on Taehyung, who chatted animatedly with Sana in the living room while the others were scattered around Namjoon's house."What's the problem?""What?" he grinned at his friend. "What did you say?""You're staring at Taehyung as if you wanted to tear his heart out, something swore to be impossible to see coming from you. What happened?"Jimin and Namjoon had known each other for ten years. Namjoon was older and always advised him in his youth, maybe he could help now."He's lying to me..." Jimin admitted, swallowing the tobacco between his lips. "A few months ago I found a cigarette holder and Tae said it was from Sana, but she said she didn’t smoke. After Yoongi told me to talk to him because something seemed strange, then I discovered that Taehyung was fired from the job in the studio like three months ago…”Kim Namjoon sighed, running his hands over his face, taking his friend's cigarette to smoke it before saying,"What the fuck, Jimin”."I don’t know what's going on. I mean, there is a time we aren’t the same, but I couldn’t imagine that Taehyung would lie to me for no reason. Now I don’t know how to talk to him”."I guess it must be hard because... he lied all this time. But what's the use of you staring at him without saying anything, Jimin? If you're worried about something, ask. Don’t keep creating things in your head because you're afraid of what you can hear. Taehyung is probably ashamed of being fired. And about the cigarette..." he thought with a shrug. "Maybe he's smoking?"He couldn’t tell whether he agreed with Namjoon or not.It was different from the other times when Taehyung lied, now whenever he looked at him he caught him watching him in a weird way. It was as if something was out of place this time and it was not just because of the lies he had told without reason. It was for something more."I don’t know...""And you'll never know if you do not ask" Namjoon sighed and returned the cigarette to the boy. "Taehyung loves you and if he’s lying he has a reason. Don’t wonder what does not exist, go talk to him”.- c -That night Jimin waited for him in his apartment for hours, until the door opened at 2:54 in the morning.Taehyung looked startled to see him awake so late at night."Jimin. Why you-""Sana doesn’t smoke" Jimin interrupted without really looking at him. "She admitted that to me when I tried to return the wallet I always find here. She doesn’t smoke at all” he said firmly, his body shaking. "And you've been fired four months ago. I saw your resume and the job interviews you did, I also know you took another shift in the bookstore because of this... I know you're lying to me".When he finally looked at his boyfriend he saw the same lost look Taehyung had whenever he was with Jimin. It was the look of someone who don’t know how to explain what was wrong.The look of someone who had many things hidden, things that could hurt. Jimin threw the papers he had printed before Taehyung reached the floor, holding the cry:“Who is Jeon Jungkook, Taehyung?"Taehyung's knees flickered and he had to lean against the wall so he wouldn’t fall when he heard him say that name. It took less time than expected for the sobbing to start echoing through the living room of the apartment they shared and still less for Jimin to be sure he was right all along. He put his hands in his face."Why Taehyung? Why?""Jimin...""I asked who Jeon Jungkook is!"Taehyung's footsteps approach Jimin abruptly, but instead of trying to hold on to his boyfriend, he kneels and collects the papers without hiding his sobs, shoving them into his backpack.When he looks up, Jimin's heart stops to see his eyes sad and filled with tears. Taehyung looks away and he knows the boy has more than he could imagine hiding in his chest.Jimin kneels next to Taehyung and tries to hold his hand, and she is cold and shakes when he finally holds her tight. The only thing Jimin ever wanted to know was what was going on in Taehyung's mind, why he looked at him as if he was hiding a secret, why he kissed him as if he felt guilty about it."I made a silly mistake." Taehyung begins uncertainly, his voice shakes and begins to lock as if he couldn’t really finish what he had to say. "I-Jimin, I-""You said the cigarettes on the counter were from Sana…”The colour on his face disappears as he sees him pull his hand away and hide between them, crying as if the world has just ended."I'm sorry Jimin. I made a silly mistake!”
( xii )
"I know you love him" Yoongi whispered at his side, watching him wrap himself in the blankets like a ball. "But Jimin, is over. You need to get over it. It's been two months. I know it's not easy, but you need to let it go. It's how you will heal and be alright”."I don’t understand, hyung. How could it be possible that he did it after everything we've been through? "Jimin sobbed. "Why did he do it?""Maybe he had his reasons, maybe not. We will never know, but you can’t just stop your life because of Taehyung, it's not fair to yourself. You can’t be sad forever. ""I love him, Yoongi," Jimin shouted as he sat down quickly, picking up his phone to show his friend the evidence that the love he had for Taehyung was real. They should be together forever. "You see this, hyung? No one comes to this point of happiness if it isn’t to be forever. Look how happy we were, look!”"I know you’re happy." Yoongi sighs as he takes his friend's phone off. "But life isn’t a fairy tale, Jimin. Not always a couple stays forever as you thought. I'm sorry, I know that Taehyung always said that he would stay with you for the rest of your lives, but things don’t always go as planned”."Hyung...""I'm sorry for saying that, Jiminie. But you need to stop listening to his old messages, the photos, and waiting for things to go back to the way were before because nothing is going to go back to what it was before, Jimin. Stop fucking your head because of him...”Jimin's eyes filled with tears and he cringed again, crying as he felt Yoongi's hands pull him into his arms.He couldn’t believe it was all over that way.He knew he had to leave and forget about Taehyung, that nothing he did would bring him back, but he couldn’t just let him go that way. He had seen him kiss another person and still couldn’t let him go."As I said, it will continue to hurt for a long time. But you'll be fine because nothing heals more than time and that's what you need." Yoongi whispered, smoothing the back of his friend's neck, who was crying on his shoulder like a lost child. "And one day you will find someone who will truly love you and who will be the love of your life, because no one can steal you the opportunity to find love, Jimin. Until that happens, try to let it go at once. It will be better for you”.When Kim Taehyung was ten years old he watched When Harry met Sally with his mother and wanted to find the love that would spend the rest of his life at his side. He imagined that his heart would throb in his chest and that he would waste his nights thinking about his smile, he also imagined he would feel his hands sweating and his cheeks burning.Ten-year-old Taehyung figured he wouldn’t make the mistake of letting his true love escape as Harry had done with Sally, so he didn’t realize that certain loves aren’t always the ones that complete us when he first met Park Jimin and his warm-hearted smile.He believed that the ten-year Taehyung had taken him to that boy and that he would stay with him forever, that he would be happy. But over the years Taehyung realized that life was different from the movies, that everything stopped in a "live happily ever after" because what came after was disappointing. It was the reality that not always all the love lasted forever, which we didn’t always see right.Because sometimes humans would miss for a fraction of a second to find the love of their life. They always made mistakes.
( xiii )

ONE YEAR AGO.
"Good Morning. How can help you?""Huh?""It's just that I always see you staring at the books, it seems you're never sure what you're really looking for, so I've decided to offer some help”."Oh. That." The boy smiled closing the book. "Is not it. It's just that the finals pages don’t call my attention, so I always have to get back on the shelf in search of another book that might attract me." He explained returning the book to the shelf before taking another and running his finger on the cover, opening it and reading the summary about the author and the book. "That's why I spend so much time looking because nothing has caught my attention in these last moments... but thank you for having worried”."It's my job”.In fact, Taehyung meant that it wasn’t uncomfortable, that he could help him even if he didn’t need it and that all he needed to do was call him. They stared at each other for a long, silent moment, which made Taehyung's cheeks burn and his hands sweat like never before. He didn’t understand what was happening."Good. I think I'll take that one.” the boy said, handing the book over to Taehyung. "Can you charge me, please?"The boy's smile made Taehyung's heart stop.He ignored the sense of the purchase of the book by returning it to the boy and handing out a note with a nod to 'have a nice day'."Thanks for the help... Taehyung”.- c -Taehyung lifted his head and smiled, receiving the customer as the door opened announcing his entrance. He stared at him with a smile on his face before he saw him smile back and move closer to where he was."Good morning." the boy said. "Can you help me find a book for me? I think my taste is bad lately, what I bought last week really disappointed me a lot”."Oh. I'm sorry to hear that”."It's okay." the boy smiled as he turned to the shelf, taking Taehyung to his side before taking a book from the shelf. "It gave me a chance to come back here and use that excuse to get your help”.He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t avoid the tightness in his heart at the sound of a smile on his face. All that Taehyung had always dreamed of was the moment when he would feel the world stop for the simple fact that he had found the love of his life... he imagined that it had happened when he met Jimin, it was something he didn’t remember to have happened... so why did it feel like nothing made sense but that smile?"Taehyung is a pretty name" he said looking at the name embroidered on the other's clothes. "It suits you".“Ah..."Why did Taehyung feel as if the world were summed up in that confession? His name was silly and ordinary, Jimin praised him all the time, but why was that feeling growing inside his heart?He turned when he heard him call him to sit down.The boy opened the book the same way he had with the other last week, but instead of going to the first page, he jumped to the last page and read quietly until a smile formed on his face."You know, I learned that the best way to make sure you took advantage of life is to read the last page of a new book first because if you die suddenly, you’ll always know what happened in the end”.Kim Taehyung always imagined what it would be like to find a Sally like Harry, what it would be like to fall in love unconditionally and fight for each other as if they were not really falling in love slowly.He imagined what it would be like to love."That's what Harry-""Told Sally." he completed in surprise, a smile that made Taehyung's chest burn in flames. "Do you want to know what happens at the end of this book here, Taehyung?" he nodded, not knowing what to say, deciding that he didn’t have to use words to express what he was feeling at that moment. "The main couple doesn’t stay together, but they are happy. It's a love story that comes to an end”."So it's a sad ending”."Why would it be?" the boy smiles shaking his head. "Two people don’t have to keep going together to be a happy ending, they just have to go through it and survive it. Real happy endings are most often the same, about a couple that ends up separating when the story comes to an end”.It was what he had after the "live happily ever after", an ending.Taehyung of ten years never really understood what should happen next, but that Taehyung knew that love stories didn’t always come and the couple were still together. He knew, after many years along with those who made his heartthrob so strong, that certain loves should not last long.He knew that sometimes the main couple didn’t stay together."What is your name?""It's a pleasure to finally introduce myself, Taehyung" he said, holding out his hand to the boy. "My name is Jeon Jungkook”.
( xiv )
Kim Taehyung was a liar.He knew he would regret it when everyone found out, but he couldn’t help it. All he thought was to see him, to listen to him, to make him smile and to be present for whatever he needed. He knew it was wrong and he had Jimin, but he couldn’t help but want to be close to Jungkook.In fact, they were two liars.Taehyung lied to Jimin and Jungkook lied to Seokjin.Two liars who couldn’t stay away from each other."This place is awful..." Taehyung laughed as he leaned against the wall. He hadn’t even noticed that he was holding Jungkook's hand. "Remind me again why I let myself be dragged by you here?""Because you’re bored with your life and wanted to do something crazy?" Jungkook shrugged, squeezing Tae's hand. They laughed, feeling the effect of the alcohol rise to their cheeks, looking at each other as the music echoed in their ears. Jungkook swallowed and spun around, facing the other. "Taeh-""I think we'd better get back on track”.Taehyung wasn’t only a liar, but he was a coward too.He had never done anything wrong in his life, had never hurt anyone's heart and never wanted to get involved in anyone's relationship. He was a fearful one and so he couldn’t admit to himself and to anyone who wouldn’t stop thinking about Jeon Jungkook."Taehyung..."But Jungkook was just a liar who knew he would hurt his boyfriend when he finally left what he felt unattended. He was only a liar and not a coward, so Jungkook touched Taehyung's face and approached when he heard breathing louder.It was the first kiss they shared.And as much as they wanted to feel guilty for not making the same mistake later, they felt nothing but great relief. It was as if life had finally made sense and he press Kim Taehyung's lips about his own.- c -"Is it over?" Jungkook asked seeing Taehyung wash his hands. They always went to that nightclub when they wanted to get away and always ended up coming home late. But unlike the other times, they couldn’t look into each other's eyes without remembering what they'd done the week before. The younger one sighed. "How much longer?""I don’t know, Jungkook. I don’t know"."I know you're upset about Jimin, but you can’t ignore me because of a kiss. It happened and we can’t go back now, so just get over it and stop treating me like that”.Taehyung wanted to be as relaxed as Jungkook, but he couldn’t because Jimin needed him and couldn’t hurt him for making the mistake of not waiting any longer to seek love.He couldn’t hurt Jimin just because he had discovered that Harry and Sally were liars and that the main couple didn’t always stay together. He could not and wouldn’t hurt Jimin."Shit". Taehyung grunted before grabbing Jungkook and kissing him again, the way he'd been kissed before. When his lips parted he sigh. "Shit. I'm sorry, I- "Jeon Jungkook loved Kim Taehyung.He realized this when he found himself thinking about the boy as he watched the clouds in the sky on some afternoon when he caught himself thinking of him at all times.He knew he loved him because he had felt it before and knew himself well enough to understand what he wanted. He wanted Taehyung.Jungkook grabbed him by the thighs and lifted him to his jeans without interrupting their kiss. He grabbed him again by the thighs and carried him into a booth, gasping as he lowered his pants to his knees. It was what he wanted, to have Taehyung for himself and not let him escape.And Taehyung wanted the same.Jungkook kissed Taehyung's neck and wrapped his arms around his hips after placing his cock against his entrance, sliding into him with a slow, pleasurable groan. Tae opened his mouth and closed his eyes, holding onto Jungkook's arms as he felt him slowly fuck him open.Their bodies were so close together that the way they moved and groaned at each other became painfully good.He leaned his forehead against Taehyung's shoulder and closed his eyes, feeling the walls of his ass tighten him in a sweeping whisper that made Jungkook call his name.With a few more thrusts Taehyung laughed with a hoarse moan and licked his lips, feeling his whole body react to the feeling of being with Jungkook that way."Stay with me, Taehyung. I want you to stay with me”."Jungkook...""I promise I'll stay by your side and I'll expect any scar to heal... but stay with me”.That's what he wanted.He could deny whatever he wanted, but deep down he wanted to be with Jungkook, even if it wasn’t the love of his entire life, even if it made him cry and hurt him, even if it was difficult.Kim Taehyung wanted to live with Jeon Jungkook."Ok. I stay with you".
( xv )
All of Park Jimin's friends said they knew it wasn’t easy, but that it was all over, that he needed to move on and let him go forever. That no matter how hard he tried, nothing would be as he had before.And even if it had been so long, he needed to have one last chance to meet the love of his life, because maybe Yoongi was right to say that nothing was as good as time.Maybe after so long, he could finally understand what had happened and how they had gotten lost. Maybe he could finally let Taehyung go in the hope of healing his heart.Then Jimin replayed all the messages he had exchanged with the boy for all the years they had been together and waited patiently until he heard his name and approached the table.Taehyung don’t have that sad look on his face, he didn’t look at Jimin as if he needed to hide a terrible secret and don’t seem to be afraid to admit what his heart really wanted.It was sad that Harry and Sally were wrong about the loves they had met several times and always ended up together but knew that real people could survive anything. He knew that Jimin loved him, but he also knew that in life people loved more than one person and that each one of them left his mark until the certain one appeared."I love the way you yell at your lab assistant, the way you always give double knots in your shoe, as you scream at anyone who gets in the way of your work. I love the way you can see any landscape as if a family was perfect for her, how you can always tell a beautiful story with your photos…” Park Jimin started uncertainly, touching Taehyung's hand on the table. "I love the way you bite your mouth when you're focused on work and how you frown, I also like the way you always tidy your hair and dress..." was all he had learned to love in Kim Taehyung after three years together. "I loved the way you looked at me when we were in college, but I think I love even more the way I've looked at myself since you came into my life”."Jimin-""It still hurts, Tae. I still feel like you kissed me yesterday, but I know it's been a long time and it hurts. But my friends say that everything is over and that I will overcome, that time heals everything. I think they're right... time has made me realize that I still love everything about you, but that nothing stays forever. "He explained hurriedly, shaking the boy's hand. "I will always think of you as the first love of my life, and I will always remember everything we lived together and how happy we were. But I will also always remember that real love is also sad and hurts”.Kim Taehyung loved Park Jimin.He would always be his first love.They smiled at each other as if that was the moment they'd been waiting for all along as if they'd suddenly realized they would end up like that. Loving each other without being together.Real love doesn’t always last, but it's not always about novels and fairy tales. In some cases, real love is just the memory of a happy moment, of someone who made your heartbeat stronger... from someone who had been your first love.And although it hurt, Park Jimin was ready to move on."You'll always be my first love, Jimin”.
( xvi )

AUTUMN.
Kim Taehyung always liked Autumn. It was one of the stations that most attracted his attention because of the colours in the sky and how people always looked more cheerful at that time of year. His mother found him strange, said that the best time was the summer. Already his father believed that the winter should win the title of the best season of the year, but for Taehyung autumn was perfect.In the fall the leaves of the trees were a perfect orange-brown colour, he could wear warm clothes and take pictures of the children in the park, the orange and pink sky, and see Jeon Jungkook’s smiling face.He pulled the camera in front of his face and looked at it one last time before hitting the photo, memorizing that image first in his head and then recording it forever through his lens. The dog ran from Jungkook's hands, making him get up in a hurry, taunting Taehyung who ran after him with the camera in his hand and slammed photos of the two regardless of their quality.He just wanted to record happiness on his boyfriend's face.When they finally controlled the dog's behaviour, they sat side by side on the grass and lay down to look at the sky. It was in those moments that Taehyung felt happier when he realized that he didn’t have to do anything but stay close to Jungkook to have everything he wanted in the world. It was all he needed.Clouds slowly passed over his eyes as Taehyung smoothed his dog's head and listened to Jungkook's breathing slowing as he imagined how many couples were staring up at that same sky at that very moment.Taehyung smiled foolishly, because now he knew that the only mistake he had made was to believe that people just love only one person in life.But thanks to Jungkook, he knew that in life he loved more than one person and that they were all different. Every love was unique.Jimin had discovered the same thing.He might not have a Harry, but he knew he would love again because Yoongi was right. No one could take away his right to love.Jeon Jungkook moved on the grass, placing his head on Taehyung's chest before hearing the sound of his heart and saying:"This is cool. It's cool when you can sit with someone and don’t need to say anything.” He lifted his head, meeting her boyfriend's smiling eyes. Taehyung smile back. "It is these people who make the cosy silence that we must grasp with all our strength, it is who we really love. And it's in those moments that you know you've finally found your home”.Kim Taehyung did not need a romantic comedy because he had a real life, with Jeon Jungkook who was willing to love him without all that happy ending fantasy that almost never existed."I love you Jeon Jungkook”."I love you too Kim Taehyung”.