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Jimin.The one who's always been careless, like the waves crashing into shore, carving what used to be just stone, to something new. Something beautiful.You, who can paint the darkest canvas to a bright yellow. You, who makes the stars shine just a little brighter, what makes something as big as the universe into something small. You, who have so much power over me, who can break my heart with just a little twist of your finger, you who pain me, but yet I love you.Your smile has a tight grip on the universe, making everything stop just with a flash of a smile. It has always made me feel things. Good things. Things I know you won't reciprocate. Not now at least. Because you didn't see me the way I still see you. Never loved me like I still love you. Loving you is painful. It hurts, but still it is one of the best feelings known to my heart. And I don't deserve a single bit of it. I dont deserve the happiness you bring me.You're a reflection of who I used to be, someone who used to be yellow like you. It's my fault I'm no longer that. It's my fault I'm now something gray. I failed you. I left. I deserve to be gray. I want nothing more than to hold you one last time. One more hug. But I can't. The universe won't let me, and I won't either. Because I don't belong with someone like you. Yet, I miss you. Every second of every day. I'd miss you even if you were right by me. But you don't miss me. I know you don't. I'm only in the deepest part of your heart, your soul. You don't miss me, can't miss me. But I do.When I had you everything was a little simpler. The world was simpler, but more beautiful. The sun was brighter, the trees were greener, the ocean more blue. But now you're not. I'm alone. And now the world is ugly. It's difficult. Because the world isn't the same without you. The world is you. And you're not with me, so now everything hurts. Because after all, you're everything. You're the world, the universe, you're it all. And me? I'm nothing. No one. And soon i'll be nowhere too. And that's okay, Jimin. Because you can be here, and I can be nowhere.Everytime the clock strikes 11:11 I think of you. I think of how much I miss our song. How much I miss singing the simplest of melodies with you. But that's okay. I promise. Because soon I won't ever hear our song again, I won't. Soon I won't sing along to what used to be ours. The melodies will vanish into a million tiny particles, just like my existence will. I think of how much I'm jealous of those who get to see you blossoming, those who are so privileged. Those who are loved by you. Those who you're a universe for. I think of how much I miss you, how much I wish you missed me too. How much I wish you would keep me in your mind too. How much I wish you would come look for me again. Then I would tell you what I'll never be able to anymore. But I know you don't keep me in your mind. I know you won't look for me. And thats okay, I just wish for you to never be like me. Never feel like me. Never experience an unrequited love like this. Yet, I wish you did think of me. Wish you would reach out to me one last time, before it's too late. It would make the world a lot easier, because right now the world is unfair. Because living is hard. Living feels like dying. Like a slow painful death.Then again, these are just wishes. Thoughts. Thoughts I keep close to my heart, protecting them with all I can. Because they're my secret. But they are thoughts that scare me, thoughts that keep me awake. Thoughts that make me cry when my mind is too loud, and the world is silent. It makes me cry. Just how easy I could end it. Sleep and never wake up. I wish you'd come find me now. Ask me what was wrong, why I was crying. It would help me. Mend me. Then I wouldn't be where I am now. But I don't want you to care about me. Dont want you to help me, I don't want to give you that burden. Because that's what I am. A burden. To me you’re a yellow diffodil, blooming and full of light, making a beautiful yet painful home in my ribcase, but to you I'm nothing more than wind. Nothing more than the crashing of waves into the shore. Nothing more than another particle in an infinite universe, my existence unimportant.Im glad you don't care, because it makes leaving you easier. Makes the pain a little more bearable. I won't bother you anymore, Jimin.You, who used to be my all. You, who used to be the universe in my eyes. You who have pained me immensely, you who I love so much, who I will continue to love when I'm nowhere, watching you from the stars, continue being you. Keep being that yellow daffodil. Love someone, give your all and when you find time for me, when you're done with what you care about, come find me. Maybe you can love me when I'm nowhere. When I'm gone. So, Jimin. Even when I'm merely a star watching you from the canvas that is the universe, be free. Be yellow, be the sky, the universe to someone else’s eyes, because you won't be it for me anymore. Won't be able to be it. When you find time for me, when you’re done with what you care about, who you care about, please come find me. Because I'll still be in the sky, waiting, clinging on to the thought of your happiness. So don't worry about me. I've lived like this for a long time, and I'll continue to live like this beyond, waiting for you.- yours, kth.