Work Text
Brian settled into a seat near the middle of the class on the first day. No matter what major you were going for, everyone had to take the Biology I course, so here he was, taking a science class that interested him but wasn’t actually necessary for him to learn based on his desired career in astrophysics.He sat in the middle because the front was too intimidating—the professor might be more likely to directly address him if he could see Brian’s face—while the back felt as though he’d be resigning himself to not paying attention. Only the people who didn’t want to learn sat in the back of a lecture hall. In Brian’s opinion, anyway.So, there he was, in the exact middle row. Others filed in around him. The professor was late, which gave the students more time to look like they were perfectly on time.At last, the professor, a white haired (at least, where he still had hair) man with deep creases in his forehead, entered the hall from a door near the front. It was a different entrance than the one the students used. Brian wondered where it lead to.“Good morning. I am Dr. Bauer. Today we will only be discussing your coursework for the rest of this semester, so there’s no need to open your textbooks,” the old man introduced himself.“For the most part, your grades will be based on three things—test scores, papers, and—”The door near the back flew open ungracefully.“—and attendance, as this young man seems to not care much about,” Dr. Bauer continued. “What is your name? First and last.”Brian looked over at the doorway and oh dear god.He was gorgeous . Brian knew, objectively, that men could be attractive, but this man looked as though the heavens had opened up and he’d stepped down from them onto the earth just to blow Brian away. His hair was long, a rich almost-brown blond color that was backlit by the morning light outside. It was the color of honey, and the way the light shone through it made it almost appear as translucent as the sticky substance. This made the man glow angelically. Even from this far away Brian could see his eyes were an intense blue, his lips full...how did someone like this exist?“Roger Taylor, sir,” he said. His voice was beautiful.Dr. Bauer scribbled something down on a piece of paper in front of him, presumably a list of the students taking the class. “Take a seat then, Mr. Taylor. I hope that this isn’t a reflection on your future punctuality.”Roger paled. He took in a deep breath, nodded sheepishly, and kept his head down as he walked through the rows of seats. Oh no , Brian thought, as he passed by several empty seats in the front few rows. Oh no, he thought again as Roger turned into the row of seats that he was on. There was only one empty seat on this row. Right next to Brian. Whyyyyy .Up close he was even more striking. His eyelashes seemed to go on for miles, they were thick at the outer part of his deep set eyes in a way that made them almost droop a bit. They were...doll-like, was all Brian’s brain would give him. Doll-like, and almost sad from the way they seemed to turn down, but it was more just the way they looked naturally than actual sadness.Right away Roger noticed Brian staring at him. “That was embarrassing,” Roger whispered. He smiled at Brian, and lord. It felt like all that was good in the world was pouring out of that smile all at once, and it overwhelmed Brian.“Yeah,” Brian murmured back, looking away.“...papers, each worth the same percentage. Their due dates are noted in the syllabus. I won’t be reminding you of them,” Dr. Bauer said.Nothing he said really registered with Brian though. Not with Roger so close to him.“Geez, he must be fun at parties,” Roger scoffed.Brian nodded dumbly. “I won’t be reminding you of them,” he parroted.Roger stifled a laugh. “Right? Ugh, and that hair. You might as well shave it off if there’s only that much left. I hope I never have hair like that.”Someone behind them who was actually trying to listen shushed Roger. “Sorry,” he replied. He gave Brian an apologetic glance and didn’t talk much after that. He still managed to make exasperated eye contact with Brian periodically throughout the rest of the lesson though.Dr. Bauer seemed to go on forever, but his 50 minute lecture ended exactly when it was supposed to. At that, Roger stood up and stretched.“Hey mate, I didn’t catch your name,” he said to Brian. “You’re pretty funny, you know?”“Thanks. It’s Brian,” he said. He gathered his things into his bag and stood as well.“I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before,” Roger told him.“Perhaps just around campus?” Brian tried, although he knew that probably wasn’t it. He’d have known if he’d seen Roger somewhere before.Roger stepped away from his desk, prompting Brian to follow. “Nah, I just transferred here this semester. I got bored with what I was doing before and decided to try biology as my major.”“Oh. In that case, I’m in a band? Or, well, I was. We disbanded. My buddy Tim and I are looking to start a new band but we need to audition for a drummer,” Brian suggested.Roger stopped and turned around. “That’s it! I’ve totally seen you play before! Guitar, right? What was the name...a number...1984?”“Yeah,” he said.“Wait, you said you need a drummer? I’d love to take a stab at auditioning if you’d be interested. I play guitar too but drums are my main instrument.”Brian pushed back his hair from his forehead. “Yeah, yeah. That’d be cool. Tim’s buddy Fred has been begging us to put him in the band but we don’t really need another singer and the music we’ve been working on doesn’t fit his piano playing.”“I promise I’m good. I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t good,” Roger said.“I believe you,” Brian laughed. “I’ll talk to Tim about a time and a place. It’ll probably be somewhere at his university, it’s an arts school.”“You won’t regret it,” Roger promised.Oh, but Brian thought he would. Roger could be the best drummer in the world and he’d still regret having him audition. A) because he’d have to look at Roger’s face that much more frequently and he didn’t think he could handle it and B) because he’d have to introduce Roger to Tim and that just didn’t seem like the best idea. And yet, he couldn’t seem to say no.The audition came far too quickly for Brian’s liking. It ended up being at the beginning of the next week. Tim liked Roger immediately (was that what Brian was afraid of?), and, true to his word, Roger was a phenomenal drummer. He didn’t necessarily click with Tim musically right away, but he was great. That was more on Tim. Heh. If he’d said it out loud, Brian mused, that would have sounded like he’d called Tim a moron.Tim packed up and left quicker than Brian did, leaving him alone with Roger.“That went well,” Roger said. “He’s got a little bit of an ego but so do I so it’s not like I can complain.”Brian laid his guitar in its case. “Yeah, Tim’s an acquired taste.” In all honesty Brian was only hanging around him because they’d been to the same grammar school. If he’d met Tim in college he probably wouldn’t have liked him. “You’re definitely in though—saves me from having to pin up posters all over campus.”“I think he’d play better if he wasn’t singing at the same time. Is he really that against getting another bass player?” Roger asked.“He doesn’t think anyone else could play his songs right. Honestly, I say he should let Freddie in the band and just play bass but he has to be the front man,” Brian admitted.“I’m sure he’s going places...I do hope he finds his humility along the way,” Roger sighed. “We’ll just have to put up with it until he does, I guess.”“Don’t let him hear you say that, I think he genuinely liked you, in his own weird way,” Brian chided.Roger sat on the edge of the stage. They had been rehearsing in one of a few auditoriums across the campus. “He’s got a funny way of showing it, but I think you might be right.”“I’ve got to get going, I’m meant to be meeting my parents for dinner tonight,” Brian told him.“Ah, alright. I can’t say I’ve really got plans of my own. I thought I might go out later tonight,” Roger said. “I’ll see you in class, if I actually decide to go to it.”Brian waved an awkward goodbye and walked out. Finally, he could breathe again. He wasn’t sure how he still managed to play with Roger in the room. This was such a terrible idea.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
A few weeks later found Brian in the library with a tattered-but-still-holding-out copy of The White Goddess by Robert Graves. It was all about how there’s this perfect goddess in all mythology and how she was the true deity that should be worshiped, all tied to poetry and linguistics instead of too much focus on history. It wasn’t exactly factual but it fascinated Brian nonetheless.He wondered if he could write a song like this, about this Goddess. But then, none came to mind. He thought about it at some length and just couldn’t see a clear image of her in his head.If he tried to picture an idyllic, perfect being, all his brain supplied was Roger.Now. There was an idea. He could always write a song about Roger, and no one would have to know. No one could possibly connect a song about a goddess to a rock and roll drummer. Anyone who tried would come across as ludicrous! Yes, it was perfect. He could get his silly crush out of his system and write something worthwhile all at once.He scribbled down a few lines about his white queen—sad eyes, but smiling. That was pretty good.He couldn’t stay in the library for long though, he had to get to biology. His heart rate ticked up at the thought of Roger probably trying to sit with him. It made sense, they were bandmates now, but it still made Brian’s mouth dry out and breathing quicken.This time, Roger was on time. The fact that he’d been showing up at all after getting humiliated for being late to the first lecture was a miracle.He sat in the same place as usual with his feet propped up on the desk next to him.“There you are! I thought for sure you’d beat me here,” Roger greeted Brian. He sat up like a normal person and let his feet hit the ground.Brian held up his worn out book as a means of answering. “I got caught up at the library.”“The library, this early?” Roger balked. “I knew you were smart but that’s almost insane. I wish I could care that much about school.”“It wasn’t actually for an assignment, I just like this book,” Brian corrected.Roger’s eyes widened. “I take it back, that’s actually insane. I like a good book as much as the next guy but who gets out of bed before their first class to go to the library just for shits and giggles?”Brian’s face warmed. “Me, I suppose.”“Aw, don’t look at me like that. I don’t think any less of you now that I know you’re a nerd. I knew that before. Now, I just think you’re a super nerd,” Roger teased.“Good morning.” Ah, and there was Dr. Bauer. You know, by the way he said it, Brian was starting to think that he didn’t think it was a good morning.And then he babbled on about bones (and possibly exoskeletons as well). Roger seemed to actually be taking notes? Interesting. Either he cared about his grades more than he let on or he was actually interested in biology. It was his major, after all.Luckily for Brian, it wasn’t his, and this class wasn’t that big of a deal for him, because if it had been, he’d be fucked. All he could seem to think about just then was how Roger’s hair looked like it had been a couple days since it had gotten a good wash but it just made it shine, reflecting the artificial lighting like stars.“I’ll see you all again next week,” Dr. Bauer announced. Yet again Brian missed ninety percent of what he said because Roger existed. He was going to have to do so much additional reading to pass this class.“You know, most people take notes when the professor is talking,” Roger quipped. “For all the nerdy shit you’re into you pay zero attention in class.”“I’m more interested in space than living creatures,” Brian brushed off. He closed his completely empty notebook.“You can copy my notes if you want,” Roger offered.“I’m sure I’ll be fine if I do the required reading,” Brian declined.Roger threw his head back beautifully as he laughed. “There’s the difference between you and me. I’ve already lost my book, but it’s not like it covers things he won’t talk about.”“I wouldn’t know, I don’t listen to him talk.”Roger laughed again. God. If he could just keep Roger laughing like that forever he’d die a happy man.On such a breathless night as this
Upon my brow the lightest kiss
I walked alone
And all around the air did say—“What are you working on?”Brian jumped. He was at table in the far corner of the library when Roger’s voice pulled him out of his song writing.He thought a moment before letting Roger see the lyrics. He couldn’t possibly know what it was about anyway, since Brian was painting the subject as a queen, not a king.“Whoa, this is, ah. Really beautiful? I have no idea what this means but it’s pretty,” Roger said, sliding into the seat next to him.“Remember that book I was reading the other day?” Brian asked.“Oh yeah, way early before class,” Roger recalled. “Is this about that?”Brian nodded. “I was reading it and I just thought...I want to write something like this. And then I saw...this girl, in one of my classes, and she fit perfectly into it, so I decided to make it about her.”‘“It's for evermore that I wait.’ So you haven’t talked to her, then.”“No. I couldn’t. The thought of telling her how I feel—it makes my hands sweaty. It’s not done yet anyway and I’m not sure how I feel about it—the song, not the girl. I don’t want it to be...too much, you know?”“It’s not too much,” Roger assured him. “It’s a great song. I wish I could write something as deep as this, everything I try that’s not super straightforward just comes out cheesy.”“I wish I could write something more straightforward, it always sounds awful if it’s not all flowery like this,” Brian said.“I think you’re wrong but you could stand to be more straightforward in other ways.”“You mean tell her,” Brian grumbled.“Come on, any girl would be lucky to have you—you’re brilliant, you’re in a band, apparently you write incredible poetry under the guise of song lyrics! Even if she rejects you it’s not like there aren’t others. You’re great, and if she can’t see that, she’s not as perfect as you’re making her out to be,” Roger ranted.Brian was dumbfounded, to say the least. “You’re only saying that because you’re trying to be a good friend.”“You’re right! I am a good friend! Which is why I know all of that about you. I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this. You’re really selling yourself short here and insulting me by thinking I wouldn’t be honest with you.”Maybe showing Roger the song was a bad idea. Realistically, he would have had to eventually no matter what, but he could have kept the meaning to himself, or done it in front of Tim so Roger would have been less likely to make a big deal out of it.He took in a deep breath. “I believe you. Or at least, I believe that you think all of that about me. However, I have no way of knowing that she’d think those things of me—” that you think them in the right context—“and I don’t intend on finding out right now.”Roger looked to be a bit irritated but changed the subject. “Anyway. I figured you’d be here and I came looking for you because, as it turns out, I do need my biology textbook and I can’t find it anywhere.”“And you want to borrow mine so you can lose it too?” Brian teased.“No, I thought we could study together. With my notes and your book we have all we need, don’t you think?”Brian was afraid he’d say that. “You? Study?”“Come off it, just because I like to enjoy myself from time to time doesn’t mean I want to fail all my classes. We’ve got that test coming and I’d rather not give Bauer another reason to hate me.” Roger said this with that shit eating grin on his face, no real malice anywhere to be seen or heard. “We can’t all live in the library and read theological poetry books for fun.”I’m only joking,” Brian said.“Good. Now are we studying or not?” Roger asked.“Right now?”“If you’re not busy. I brought my notes.” He leaned down and pulled a stack of papers out of his bag. “We don’t have to if you’re, erm, in a song writing groove and don’t want to stop.”Brian sighed. “No, I was done for now anyway.”He did his best to ignore the flutter in his heart when Roger scooted his chair over to get closer to him. He pulled out his biology book (he’d actually been planning on studying on his own, it was why he was at the library), opened it to the chapter he guessed they should start with, and slid it toward Roger. Then he settled in and hoped to whatever deity (the White Goddess, maybe?) that spending time this close to Roger wouldn’t kill him.