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It was a good day. The sun was out after a whole week of raining. Johnny's hair wasn't as frizzy as it was the last few days with the humidity finally dropping low. It was finally a good day to take out his camera and go venture for pics to send to Taeil. Johnny was already running out of pics to send back to Korea.He left Korea as soon as NCT publicly announced their disbandment. He figured coming home was the best way to do considering he fell into a pit of loneliness after everyone decided they wanted to do solo activities. Except Johnny. He thought he made the right choice but as soon as he remembers his hyung, he instantly regrets it.He goes up to his room. The sun was so good today, its rays left streaks of light directly in his room, creating one of the best lightings for a small photoshoot. But his muse wasn't there so what's the point.It's been 5 years since the band disbanded. He hasn't returned to Korea, not even once. It was too much for him. The band had a good and long successful career, becoming one of the best known KPOP band to have hundreds of successful tours around the world. But everyone was getting tired of practicing their choreo everyday. The members started dreaming of a different path. And Johnny could never stop them, he loved them too much. They were his brothers. They wanted to do something on their own. Not just a sidejob next to their careers as a member of NCT.But Johnny was different. He loved being an NCT member. He loved the practices, he loved the stage, he loved the fans but of course he loved his members more. So he agreed.He grabbed everything he needed; house, car keys, phone, wallet, and his camera.One of the things he missed the most was hanging out with everyone. The random talks, laughters, pranks and even their bickering. But there is one specific person the he misses the most, Moon Taeil.He and Taeil have been keeping in touch for the past 5 years even though he hasn't step foot in Korea again. Email, chats, and even snail mails because Taeil claimed it feels more personal to read stuff from paper shipped from the other side of the world. Another on of those Taeil things he missed.Messages from Taeil was what keeps him sane and going even though most of his messages were about his ongoing solo career as a soloist
& Sicheng. The younger decided to stay in Korea to pursue his modeling and acting careers. Johnny doesn't directly talk to Sicheng usually but they sometimes do under Taeil's requests.Johnny turned on the engine of his car, ready to hit the beach.The air was crisper than usual. Being surrounded by nature really lifts up his mood. He never knew how much he loved nature until he got suffocated by Korea's skycrapers and cemented roads.Just the other day, he sent Taeil pics of of some kids playing in the playground & a random dog. Taeil never forgets to send Johnny the encouraging words he needed. He always told Johnny of how much he was improving with his photography skills. But all Johnny ever really cared was how he was putting smiles on Taeil's lips with his photography.Last week's conversation was still stuck in Johnny's mind."I finally have a reason for you to come back home! Just wait!" Taeil said in a reply to the raw pictures he sent Taeil.Home. Johnny thought hard. So Taeil still considers Korea as his home. Taeil was still waiting for him to go back. Johnny wants to, badly. But he can't.Johnny reaches the beach, the wind tousling his hair as he walks to the shore. A bunch of seagulls were circling the bay.
"The next time we go to the beach, I hope it's outside of Korea. I'm so sick of the beaches here," Taeil tossed the rock. It skipped 3 times before finally sinking.
Johnny crouched down, looking for a flat rock to throw. The sun was on it's full blast. He found the perfect rock and threw it,skipping 4 times before sinking. "I'm at the beach. Outside of Korea. Now i just need you for that promise to be fulfilled,"He lifted his camera, focusing on the rolling waves hit by the rays of sunshine, before clicking his shutter.Johnny walked along the shore, making sure not to get his shoes wet. He really does miss Taeil. Sometimes, he'd go online and try booking a flight back to Korea. But he's still afraid. He's still not ready. Every year he'd tell himself he'll fly to Korea the following year. But it's been 5 years and he's still stuck in America. His words were still words.Johnny turns around, taking pictures of his footprints before the waves completely washes them away. He's scared. He's scared because he knows memories are like those footprints. They're temporary. Memories of him and Taeil, will slowly be washed away as time passes by.Johnny took photos of the birds, the kids playing with sand, a little hermit crab that found it's way back into the waters and finally, the sunset. He knows Taeil loves pictures of the sunset and sunrise.The day ended just like that. With Johnny taking pictures as he recalls his happy and melancholic memories with Taeil. The drive home was quick. He was excited to transfer his pictures and have a final look before sending them to Taeil in raw and shipping the printed ones to Korea.It's been a while since Taeil and him talked through a videocall and Taeil promised him that tonight. Taeil usually had a packed schedule but today was his day off and he felt honored Taeil decided to spend that day with him, even just through a camera.The moment he drove through his driveway, he noticed a mail on his porch. Only one person popped in his mind, Taeil.Johnny knew this package contained what Taeil meant by him coming back to Korea. He felt his heart doing loops and jumps as he semi jogged to his porch. He can't contain his excitement and curiosity to what was in the box. Suprisingly, it wasn't that heavy but it was a bit bulky.He carefully opened the door, slid inside of his home before carefully placing the box down his dining table.He held his breath, counting 1 to 10, before ripping of the protective covering. His blood was rushing to his ears, countless things flashing through his mind as he slowly lifted the lid and took a look at what's inside.It was a book. No. An album. But what caught his attention was the white fancy envelope on top of it.He stared at it, his smile slowly turning into a frown before a silent sob came. He knew what it was even before reading it. He knew this was coming but not this soon. It's only been 5 years! No... It's already been 5 years.He picked it up, not to confirm but to check if there was anything else inside. And there was. A handwritten letter from Taeil was inside. To YoungHo, it said.He let go of his breath he didn't even realize he was holding. He looked up, fighting the tears pooling in his eyes from falling.
To YoungHo,
I told you right? I'm getting you back here. It's been 5 years. Everyone misses you. We know you're enjoying your life back there in the States but aren't we your home too? I miss you. We're all sorry it all had to end this way but our brotherhood will never die. We all went through so much together.
And thank you for always keepin in touch with me. Others are already getting jealous. But of course, i'm your bestfriend.
Please come back. Even just this once. For me. For my wedding-
Johnny stopped. His tears already streaming down his face.The album had all the pictures he sent Taeil. He was confused. Why did Taeil send them back? It had eveything, the pictures, negative, even the letters he sent.Johnny didn't want to continue reading but he had to. He needed to know why Taeil sent back everything he gave Taeil.
we waited for years and finally, it's legal here. I don't want to have my wedding without all of you present. Specially you. You're my bestest friend in the whole world. You're my person.
The album has everything you sent me. I want you to bring it back to me. Give it to me personally.
Tell me how you took them. What were you thinking when you took them? Tell me. In person not in letters. Come home.
Stay safe and remember that i love you Seo YoungHo
- Taeil
Johnny put down the letter. Everything written in that letter was why he never wants to go back to Korea. Because as much as he wants to see Taeil happy, he can never bear to give his best friend, his life to someone else. But he also knew, that Taeil was never even his to begin with.