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The blue eyes finds him the second he gets home.“What did she say?”“A lot of things…” Shrug. “She thinks caring for a sub might help me.”“Oh…” A beat. “Are you… Do you want that?”“No. I never wanted a sub. I only want you!”“I know baby. I know. But you hardly sleep anymore. Maybe… Maybe a sub could help… After what happened…”“I know… I just… Why can’t this be enough?”“You are not gonna love me any less while caring for a sub and getting better” A smile. God, but he is beautiful. “I want you to be happy.”Before he can answer, the phones rings.“A mission. We’ll talk more when we get home, okay?”

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Everything is cold and hard and dark and Tony is hurting all over. Not just the bruises and probably broken ribs from the kick, but his skin is aching. He cannot remember ever feeling this bad and he remembers feeling plenty bad. This is different. He hadn’t felt anything like this since he started wearing the armband with suppressants. They had taken that away from him. Not that they knew what it was, but they had taken everything from him, leaving him naked and cold on the stone floor. Aching and hurting and crying for the first time in years. Alone.He has no idea who they are or where they had taken him. He just knows that he is going to die here and that is perfectly fine. Some analytic part of his brain tells him that depression can be one of the symptoms, but he doesn’t care anymore. He is going to die and no one will care. Pepper will take over the company; he’d been making sure she could, in case anyone ever found out. She’ll do well.He is shaking now. Another symptom. Without the suppressants, he has hit withdrawal pretty fast. He can’t think clearly, everything is pain and cold and alone and death and god, let it be over soon, please, please just let me die.It rarely got this bad. Normally, no sub would let themselves get this far without the attention of a dom. But normal subs were not Tony Stark and were not able to synthesise the chemicals and make the dom obsolete. He didn’t need attention. He was alone and that was fine.He does not know how long he is there. He doesn’t sleep, exactly, but sometimes he’ll pass out from exhaustion or pain. Every time he wakes up, it is harder to form coherent thoughts. He doesn’t know what is happening anymore. He can’t remember his name.The noises wakes him up. Or maybe he was already awake? He doesn’t know. It doesn’t matter. The only thing he knows is pain.Then someone is there, pulling him up, covering him with a jacket, hands running over his skin. One hand seems cold, hard, but the other… The other hand is warm and soft and everywhere it touched, the ache fades away. Tony wants to speak, to say something, to beg if he has to, but his voice won’t cooperate, so he can only make a small, pleading sound. It seems to be enough. Someone puts their arms around him, the warm hand running up and down his bare chest, soft words spoken into his ear. Tony can’t understand them, but the soothing tone makes him relax into the person holding him. He doesn’t hurt so much now.More voices, someone shouting. Then the arms around Tony move, picking him up from the floor and carrying him outside into the bright light. It hurts his eyes and he tries to look away, but he is too weak. Then the arms under him shift slightly, turning his face away from the light to hide in the crook of the neck of whoever is holding him. It makes him relax a little more into the arms of the stranger. So far, Tony’s brain has picked up that it is a man and it isn’t Rhodey, so it has to be a stranger. He still makes Tony feel safe.A lot more happens. Moving, driving, someone talking, a plane at some point. Sirens, a hospital, more talking. Tony is put on a gurney, but the warm, soft hand never leaves his skin. It calms Tony down and at some point he falls asleep.When he wakes up again, everything is quiet and bright and white and sterile. Hospital. The machine to his side is beeping and the warm hand is gone. He’s alone, but it’s different than before. Tony is still tired and confused and he still feels like his head is full of clouds, but he’s not in so much pain anymore. Closing his eyes, he drifts into sleep again.Someone is talking. It’s not near enough for him to make out, not yet, but it’s still so close that it wakes him up. Tony keeps his eyes closed, just laying in the bed, listening. Slowly, some of the words start making sense.“- needs this, Stevie, he’s not supposed to be -““I know, but it’s still… We don’t know him, YOU don’t know him… You don’t know if - ”“You didn’t see him in there. Someone has to – ““- going to keep it a secret? The press will – ““Just trust me on this, please? I have to try, I have to - ”“Okay… Okay… We’ll figure something out…”The voices move away again. Tony isn’t sure what the two men had been talking about. It is still hard to think. He is pretty sure there are painkillers and sedatives involved, but he is too tired to care. Anything to stop the aching pain.When the voices are gone, a doctor comes in. Or maybe the voices had been a long time ago? Tony might have slept, he isn’t sure. The doctor has questions. Does he remember what happened? Is he in pain? Where? Does he want them to contact anyone? He remembers some of it, but it hardly seems important. He wants to sleep. As soon as the doctor leaves, he falls asleep again.It is days before Tony is coherent enough to have an actual conversation and find out what had happened to him in greater detail. He remembered some of the attack, the kidnapping and imprisonment, but he hadn’t understood the reasons behind it when he was taken. It seems the kidnappers had wanted to blackmail his firm for money to get Tony back, but the army found his location and send a specialist team to retrieve him. They’d taken care of the kidnappers and brought Tony back safely.After a week in the hospital, Tony is going out of his mind. He has to leave, to do something, to at the very least get a cup of real coffee! And even more important, he has to leave before anyone finds out about him. The suppressants are gone and the sedative will only keep the need away for so long. So, even though he is still on a lot of painkillers, he discharges himself from the hospital, adamant he can take care of himself. He wasn’t really that hurt and with enough rest he will be fine at home. He just has to get a lot of sleep, eat and drink regularly and not overwork himself said a doctor, who clearly has no idea who Tony Stark is.So he calls his driver and gets back to Stark Tower. Everyone in the lobby looks at him as he enters (everyone always looks at him) but he ignores them and goes to his private elevator, telling JARVIS to take him home. In the elevator, he can lean against the wall. It helps him stay on his feet since his head is spinning. When the doors open into his living room, he gets halfway to the couch before collapsing on the floor.“Sir, it would seem that you are not well. Would you like me to call -“ JARVIS tries, but Tony cuts him off. “No! I don’t want anyone. Where is Pepper?”“Miss Potts is still on a business trip to Beijing. She has made several inquiries to you and your health since you were rescued. Would you like me to call -““No.” Tony says again. “No need to disturb her. I... I just need… Need to…” He starts shaking again and his skin feels cold. Pulling himself of the floor, he manages to get to the sofa and wrap himself in a blanked, but it doesn’t help. He is still cold and he has started aching again. He needs to get down to the lab and make another suppressant band, but he has no strength left. He can only stay on the sofa, shaking and freezing. JAVIS says something to him, but Tony can’t make it out anymore. He won’t be disturbed. He has told JARVIS not to call anyone, so he won’t do that unless Tony gets in real danger. The withdrawal is not life threatening yet, so he will be left alone. Always alone.The next time JARVIS speaks, it wakes Tony up. It might be later that day or the next. Tony has lost all sense of time by now.“Someone is at the door, Sir. A Sargent Barnes. He says it’s important. Should I send him away?” JARVIS asks.Tony groans and gets up from the sofa, still wrapped in the blanked. “No… No, it’s fine… I’ll just… Gimme a minute, okay? Why is he even here?”“If I’m not mistaken, he is one of the soldiers who was involved in your rescue, sir” JARVIS tells him. Tony huffs out a laugh. JARVIS does not make mistakes, not with something as simple as identifying a guest to his home. But it doesn’t answer the question. Why would a soldier – Sargent even – show up at his doorstep? To check on him? To get his recollection of the kidnapping? He’d given that at the hospital, hadn’t he? It was a little unclear, but he is pretty sure he had told someone what he remembered before leaving. Did they have more questions now he was supposed to be of sound mind again?It takes a long time to get to the door and when he is finally there, he has to lean on the doorframe for a moment. He feels dizzy and weak and so cold that he doesn’t even care that a stranger is about to see the famous playboy Tony Stark wrapped in a comforter. Hopefully this will be over quick and Tony can get back to being miserable on the couch on his own.Opening the door, Tony is a little surprised by how good looking the Sargent on the other side is. Dark hair, stormy grey eyes and the build of a fighter, even if he is not dressed like a soldier. Black pants, a dark shirt and a dark blue jacket. He is wearing a black leather glove on his left hand, but nothing on his right. Tony does not usually notice men like that, but he can’t help looking at the man in front of him. Maybe it’s the withdrawal. He’s not exactly thinking clearly right now.“Mr. Stark. I hope I’m not disturbing your rest. Can I come in?” Sargent Barnes asks. He can’t help but note Tony’s dishevelled appearance, but he doesn’t comment on it. Tony really just wants to go back to sleep, but if he invites Sargent Barnes in, he can at least sit down while they talk. Sitting down seems like the next best thing right now, so he nods and lets his guest in.Sargent Barnes closes the door behind them while Tony staggers back the way he came. He makes it all the way to the couch before collapsing and he manages to play if off as intentional. “You’ll forgive me for not offering you anything, Sargent, but I’d like to know why you are in my apartment before I start playing host.” Tony says. He really hopes the Sargent doesn’t want anything. Getting up again seems impossible.“It’s fine…” Sargent Barnes says, taking a chair from the open kitchen and sitting down in front of the couch. He seems a little nervous, casting fleeting looks at Tony and then back at his hands. “I wanted to see if you were okay. I went to the hospital, but they told me you had already gone home. I… I was part of the team that found you…” He adds, like it might explain anything.“Well, you have now seen that I am fine like a good soldier. You can report back that everything is good, support out troops and God bless America.” Tony says with what he hopes is a brilliant smile. “Do let yourself out.” That has to be enough to get him to leave.But Sargent Barnes does not get up. He tilts his head a little and looks at Tony. “You’re not fine. You are shaking.”“I’m drunk.” Tony tries.“Liar.” Sargent Barnes answers. “I would have smelled the alcohol. I would also have seen at least one bottle, since you can hardly walk.”Tony makes an annoyed sound. Why did the handsome soldier have to be intelligent?“This is actually why I came.” Sargent Barnes continues. “You were… Pretty out of it when we found you. When I found you. I don’t know if you remember.”
… one hand is cold and hard, but the other is warm and soft and touching his skin…
Why is Sargent Barnes wearing a glove on one hand? He had been one of the people to free Tony. Had been the one to find him it seemed. And that meant he knew. Tony lets out a sigh and runs a hand over his face. It will probably be blackmail. Paying him not to tell anyone about Tony. Fine. Blackmail he can handle.“What do you want?” Tony asks, harder than he really has to.Sargent Barnes seems a little surprised by the change in tone, but continues anyway. “I checked up on you. You are not confirmed. People assume you are a dom, because of everything you have done even if you never had a sub. But they are wrong, aren’t they?”“So what?” Tony all but sneers now. “There are no rules demanding me to declare and I never lied! I never said anything.”“How long has it been since you got attention from a dom?” Sargent Barnes asks. His voice is low and patient, like Tony hadn’t just yelled at him. Like he cares. No one cares. Tony is alone and no one cares and he might as well just die.“I don’t need attention! I don’t need help!” Tony wants to shout, to get up and throw things, but he can’t. He can’t move and he is shaking more violently than before. Everything is cold and black spots are dancing before his eyes. Someone is talking to him, but the buzzing in his head is too loud. Everything is loud and cold and pain and alone and dark and pain and tired and cold and ache and dark and gone…When Tony comes to again someone is holding him. His back is up against a broad chest and strong arms are around him. He stays still and keeps his eyes closed. It feels nice. The person behind him is firm and warm through the fabric of Tony’s shirt, his breathing calm and slow, making Tony feel at ease. Soft fingers are running up and down his bare arm, skin on skin. It feels good. Too good to move.“Tony? You back with me?” The voice is deep, rumbling in the chest behind him. It sounds familiar. Tony hums faintly.“You scared me back there.” The voice is kind. The hand has stopped moving around Tony’s wrist, rubbing small circles into the skin with the thumb. Tony never wants it to stop. It makes the ache go away.“Can you open your eyes Tony? Can you look at me?” The voice is patient, but there is something else there. Something that makes Tony want to obey, even if he wants to stay like this forever. But it’s not a command. Not really.Slowly and needing more effort than it should, Tony opens his eyes. The light is too bright for a moment and he has to close them again. He feels the person behind him move a little, so Tony is leaning more on his left shoulder than his chest. It seems firmer for some reason. When he opens his eyes again, he can see the man behind him.“Barnes?” Tony’s voice is cracking a little. He is surprised to see the Sargent smile at him. “There you are. Hey Tony. How are you feeling?”“’m okay…” Tony says, trying to get up. The feeling of warm skin against him is nice, but sitting so close with a strange seems like the wrong thing to do.“Okay like before you started shouting at me?” Barnes says with a small smile and holds onto Tony, moving him back down against his chest. “Easy… Just stay here a little longer… Good… You are doing good Tony…”The praise sends a shiver down Tony’s spine and makes him give up any attempt at getting up, falling against the man behind him with closed eyes. “I… I don’t need… I can…” Tony tries. It is still hard to form a full sentence. Barnes’ hand moves from Tony’s wrist to his hair, petting it gently. “Shhh… Give it a moment… We’re in no hurry… Take your time… I’ll take care of you, don’t worry…”The words seem to seep into Tony, making it hard for him to find a reason to get up. It feels so good to have someone care, to be held like this. Like he is important to someone. It is nice.They stay like that for a long time, the only movement Barnes’ hand in Tony’s hair. Long enough for Tony’s head to get clear again and make him wonder. Barnes is clearly a dom and a soldier, he has to be busy. He must need to go somewhere. Why is he still here, holding Tony, a man he hardly knows? Why does he care?“Why…” Tony’s voice is still a little shaky, so he has to try again. “Why are you here? Why…”Tony opens his eyes again and is looking at Barnes, who seems a little worried. “You need me… You need someone, at least… That’s why I came. I saw you before we got you to the hospital. You are suffering from withdrawal, you need attention. And I… I wanted to offer to help you…”“Why?” Tony still doesn’t understand. Even if he doesn’t want a dom, he needs to understand what is going on.“Because I saw you, Tony! Because I can feel how much pain you are in. I want to help you. It’s not… It’s for my sake too… I had… I’ve experienced something, a while ago, and I can’t shake it… My shrink thinks that taking care of a sub might help me… I won’t do anything you don’t want me to and I won't make you do anything you don’t want… I… I’m just going to help you get better…”“I don’t… I don’t want someone telling me what to do…” Tony says quietly. He never wanted a dom. He wanted to be left alone. But he also knows that the pain will only get worse and sitting like this feels so good. It was hard to remember the last time he had been this relaxed.“I… Um…” Barnes looks down for a moment, sounding unsure. “I’ve never actually had a sub before… But I don’t think I have to order you around all the time… Just a little, to keep you stable… The rest of the time can be like this…”He sounds so sincere. Like he really wants to help. Tony wants to believe him, but he has never known a dom to not order him around if they knew. Not even Rhodes, but that was different. He never minded with Rhodes, but it never helped either. “I just need to get to my lab… Make a new band… Then I’ll be fine…”“Pardon me, Sir, but I’m afraid the suppressant band will no longer have any effect. Your body is too unstable for the chemicals to help.” JARVIS interrupts. Barnes freezes and turns his head to find the source of the voice, but no one else is in the room.“Are you sure J? I could change the dose, make adjustments…” Tony tries.“No Sir, it would not be enough to bring your body back to balance again.” The AI answers.Tony makes an annoyed sound. Barnes looks at him. “Who is that?”“It’s JARVIS, my AI. He runs everything and takes care of my house.” Tony says, not really paying attention, still trying to find a solution. But even in his head, the math ends up wrong. He will not be able to make a new band with the needed effect. If he is to get better, to become balanced again, he has to accept a dom for a while. When he is fine again, he can go back to using the band.“Your… Wait, did he say suppressants?” Barnes turns to look at Tony, who shrugs. “I wanted to be left alone…”“But you made it and now it won’t work?” Barnes asks.Tony nods and hangs his head. “No… It’s… I think it’s been too long since… The suppressants won’t be enough anymore.”Barnes makes a small sound and let his hand slide from Tony’s hair down his arm. Tony tries to stop himself from leaning into the touch, but it feels like everything he needs, so he does it anyway.“You need a dom Tony… And I need… Something to occupy my mind… I’ll leave as soon as you feel better…” Barnes says slowly, maybe afraid that Tony will be mad again. Tony doesn’t get mad. He is tired. He wants to feel good again, to not feel pain and ache and cold all the time. Maybe… Maybe it can work until he is better. Maybe…Even if he might agree, Tony is not ready to say it out loud yet. “So… I guess everybody knows the truth now…”“I didn’t tell anyone… I’m not going to… No one else saw you. St- Captain Rogers knows, but he won’t tell either if you want to keep it secret.” Barnes says. His glowed left hand is resting on Tony’s chest, holding him there, the other was running up and down Tony’s arm. It feels good, but this time it does not stop Tony from turning around and looking at him.“Why?” he asks.“Why what?” Barnes asks back.“Why do you… Why do you care? You don’t know me!”“I don’t need to know you. I just need to know that you need my help.”“But you… I…” Tony tries to make sense of this. He is having a hard time understanding that someone would want to help him just to help. Everybody wants something from Tony Stark. “Do you want me to pay you?”“Pay… No! No, that’s not… I told you, I don’t want anything. I need to help someone.” Barnes says, looking a little angry at the idea.“But then why? Why? Why do you-““Tony, stop!” Barnes grips Tony’s shoulders in both hands and holds him. It’s a command. Everything in Tony stops. He has not been commanded like that en years, has avoided responding because of the suppressants, but this time there is nothing he can do. Not with Barnes holding him like this, talking in that tone of voice, looking at him with those stormy eyes. Nothing but obey. He is unable to control himself and that scares him more than anything. He starts shaking again.“Aw shit, no, Tony, I didn’t… I’m sorry… Fuck… I’m not mad, I’m sorry…” Barnes’ eyes softens and he pulls Tony into his arms again, holding him close and running his bare hand through Tony’s hair. “I shouldn’t have done that. But you have to listen to me. I’m not trying to trick you or anything. I’m trying to help, but you have to let me help, okay?”Tony doesn’t answer; he just hides his face in Barnes’ neck and closes his eyes. He has mostly stopped shaking and he can move again. But he stays very still. Barnes had apologized. Tony had never known a dom to apologize for a command, never known one to regret a command like that.“Please…” His voice comes out broken and small. “Please help me…”“I will, Tony, I promise.” Barnes says gently, still petting Tony’s hair. “I’ll take care of you.”Tony whimpers and clings to the firm body beneath him. He never wanted anybody telling him what to do. He just wants someone to make all of it go away, take the burden for a while. He is so tired.They stay like that for a long time, until Tony has completely stopped shaking and creeping exhaustion has taken over. It is getting harder to think again, so he just closes his eyes and let time pass until Barnes speaks again. “We’re going to bed now. You’re practically sleeping already.”Then he gets up, carefully lifting Tony off the couch and carrying him to the bedroom. Tony is too tired to care and it takes him a moment to notice when his shirts and pants are stripped off. For a brief moment he is afraid. Most doms demands a sexual relationship with their sub and Tony wants nothing like that. But then Barnes helps him into a pair of pyjama pants and pulls a blanket around him. Then Barnes moves away to change. Tony catches a brief flash of light from a phone and then Barnes is behind Tony, pulling the cover over both of them. He is dressed like Tony, no shirt and soft pants. Skin contact is important and this feels okay, even if they are still almost strangers. Tony’s naked back against Barnes’ bare chest. There is something cold against his left shoulder, but a warm arm around his midriff and a steady breath behind him.“Go to sleep Tony…” It's not a command, not really, but Tony still does as he says and gives himself up to sleep.

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When he wakes the next morning, Tony finds himself unable to move. He is unsure whether it was because his muscles are locked or because he is too weak to move. Maybe both?He is alone in the bed and for moment he is sure that Barnes has left. But then he hears a voice from the living room, talking and pausing, on the phone.“Still asleep. I think I have to stay for a few days… Yeah, I didn’t realise… No no, I’m fine, I’m just… I need to do this right, you know? Okay… Yeah… Love you too… Bye…” Shuffling and footsteps towards the door. Barnes looks into the bedroom and finds Tony’s open eyes.“Hey… Did I wake you? I tried not to be loud…” he says and sits down on the bed next to Tony. “How are you feeling today?”Tony doesn’t answer. Maybe he can’t. Maybe the words are too hard to form. Everything seems kind of far away and distant. Even the hand on his shoulder seems muted and not as warm as before.“Tony?” He sounds worried. Tony should tell him that he’s fine, that nothing is wrong but nothing happens. Then the expression on Barnes’ face changes. “Oh, Tony, I’m sorry, fuck, I didn’t think… I told you, this is really my first time… C’mere…”He moves to sit against the headboard, pulling Tony with him so Tony is sitting in the V of his legs, his back to Barnes’ still bare chest.“I need to drop you. How long has it been for you? With the suppressants, it must have been years… No wonder you are so scattered…” His voice is calm and gentle, but Tony still wants to fight. Dropping meant loosing control and giving someone else power over you. Dropping is hard and cold and confusing. Dropping is the reason he’d made the bands, so he never had to do it again.Even though Tony is still unable to move, Barnes must have felt his resistance because he tightens his grip on him. The arm around his waist is firm and unyielding, but his right hand is stroking Tony’s arm soothingly.“Shhh… Shh… It’s okay… I’m here, I’m gonna take care of you… You are doing so good Tony, letting me help you like this… Trusting me… It’s so very brave of you… I told you, I’ve read about you. I know how smart you are. I know you’d probably have found a solution yourself, but I’m really glad you are letting me help… I don’t really sleep anymore, you know? After what happened… I have nightmares… But I slept tonight… You are helping me too Tony… “The words wash over Tony, too many for him to pay attention to every one but he feels the meaning behind them. He feels the tone of voice and the hand on his arm pulling him down slowly. He tries to fight it, but this feels different than anything he had ever tried before. Not as scary and cold and alone. This feels warm and safe.“I need you to drop for me Tony. Will you do that for me? Will you let me help you with this? You have done so good. I know it must be hard for you to trust me but you need this. You need to let me help you. And I’ll be right here, I’ll take good care of you, just like I promised. You’ll be safe with me.”The world is growing fuzzy. Tony tries to keep his eyes open, but they are so heavy. The words have stopped making sense to him, but he still feels the low rumble of the voice in the chest behind him. It feels nice. Maybe… Maybe it would be okay to let go, just this once… If he really is safe… Maybe…The world dissolves around Tony, leaving him somewhere dark and soft. He feels warm and safe and protected for the first time in years. In the end, he thinks, maybe, just maybe, it was his own choice to let go…When he wakes up again, there is a hand in his hair and a firm arm around his waist. Same as before. Safe and protected. The world is coming back slowly.“You there, Tony? Take it easy doll, we’re in no hurry. Take your time…”Barnes. He is still there. Comfortable and patient. So different from what Tony knew, hard hands and harsh voices.
“That’s enough boy! Do you have to flaunt your faults? Get up!”
The voice seems further away than usually, like it doesn’t matter so much this time. Like there is something more important.Tony makes a soft noise and moves a little, turning his head. The hand moves from his hair down to his neck, holding gently and rubbing circles into the skin under Tony’s ear. It feels nice.“You’ve been gone for a while. When you are ready, I think we should get some food. You gotta be hungry by now, huh?” Barnes says. Tony nods slowly. He is hungry, but he isn’t really back yet. He still feels like he is floating and doing any more than just sitting here, warm and safe, feels like too much work.Barnes hums gently. Not really a song, just sounds to fill the silence. It gives Tony something to focus on as he slowly pulls himself back from the soft darkness. It still takes a while. He has never tried to return like this, never been allowed to do this in his own time. It makes the transition easier, he doesn’t feel confused and there is no pain like this. It’s pleasant. Maybe, if it was like this every time, he would let himself drop more often.When Tony finally opens his eyes, he has to blink a few times to get the world back in focus. He has turned a bit, his left shoulder pressed against Barnes’ chest, cradled in his arms. It seems very intimate, not something you would do with a stranger.“Welcome back Tony. How do you feel?” Barnes asks gently.“Better…” Tony’s voice is hoarse and a little slower than usually.“Good. You are doing so good Tony.” Barnes says gently, his hand sliding from Tony’s neck to his arm, stroking it slowly. Even though Tony is almost back to himself again, the praise makes him shiver a little. He wonders why it feels so good.“I’m glad. I’m sorry I didn’t think of this before. I should have remembered. I’ll try to do better.” Barnes says and the fact that he actually sounds sorry surprises Tony a little. “I’m going to let go of you now, okay? I’m not leaving. I’m just going to the kitchen to make some breakfast for us. You can stay here for at little while and rest if you want. I’ll call when the food is done.”He is talking slowly, like Tony is a startled animal and loud words might spook him. Like he needs to be careful. When he moves it’s with the same slow care, untangling himself from Tony, who whimpers a little at the loss of contact, surprising both of them. Barnes smiles. “I won’t be long, don’t worry.”Tony tries to distract himself from the undignified need to feel a strangers skin against his own by asking: “Why are you doing this Barnes? Really?”Barnes looks questioning at him. “I told you. You need a dom and I need a sub. I don’t have a hidden agenda.” He turns and starts walking towards the door. He stops, turns and looks at Tony again. “And call me Bucky. My friends call me Bucky.” Then he leaves the bedroom.Staring after him, Tony tries to wrap his mind around what had just happened. Bucky… My friends call me… But they weren’t friends. They were strangers, right? And Barnes… Bucky… Had to want something more from him, right? Everybody wanted something from Tony Stark. But he really wanted…Tony had a hard time trusting people that were not Pepper or Rhodes. Especially if those people happened to be doms. Doms wanted control and power. Bucky would turn out like the rest of them, given time and Tony would be alone again. It was fine. Tony was fine. Being alone was fine.When Tony get to the kitchen, dressed in soft pants and a black tee, he is met by the smell of bacon and eggs. Bucky is standing at the stove, finishing up, still without a shirt, his back to Tony. The muscles in his shoulders moves as he bends down to find plates and Tony realises that only his right arm is made of flesh. The left one is sleek and metal. He had been to far away to notice before and Bucky had worn a glove when he arrived. It looks like a very expensive prosthesis. Actually… It looks like the prototype prosthesis Stark Industries made for soldiers. The one Tony made himself. Bucky is wearing his arm.“Hey.” Bucky says, looking over his shoulder with a smile before turning back to the food. “Just sit down, I’m almost done.”Tony stays just behind the chair, staring at the arm. He never knew anyone actually got it. He just got a request for something like that, but it became too expensive to mass produced, so he only made the one.Bucky turns around to look at him. “Tony? You okay?”“The… The arm…”“Oh… Yeah…” Bucky looks down at the arm and shrugs. “I didn’t have a chance to warn you. It’s… It’s a prosthesis, I lost it at… You remember how I said I don’t sleep? It’s because of… You know… How I lost it…”“But it’s…” Tony steps closer, carefully touching the arm. Bucky stays still, letting Tony run a hand over the arm. It feels colder than skin, but not as cold as metal.“Does it bother you?” Bucky asks.Tony shakes his head, bending the metal fingers one by one. “No… It’s just that… I made it...”“You…?” Bucky looks surprised, but nods when he understands. “Right… It’s Stark Tech. It’s… I didn’t know you made it yourself…”“I make all the prototypes myself…” Tony says quietly, still exanimating the arm. It moves smoothly enough, but there is something off about the wrist and one of the fingers is slower than the others. “I didn’t know anyone got it. I thought it had ended up in storage somewhere.”“Oh yeah, it’s… I wouldn’t have gotten it if not for… Captain Rogers… He meant that since I lost my arm for the army, the army owed me a new one. It helped that I am a decorated soldier.” Bucky says with a smile, watching Tony handling the arm with a curious expression.Tony hums, still consumed with the arm, thinking about the things that could be changed, made better, more efficient. It could be made lighter, sleeker. If he -“Tony?”Tony looks up, surprised by how loud the voice was. Bucky is smiling at him, still something strange in his eyes. “Huh?”“How about we get some food first?” Bucky says, nodding towards the plates and breakfast. “Then you can have a better look at my arm?”“Oh… Right… Food…” Tony lets go of the arm. That probably not how you should act with a stranger either. But… Bucky said… Are they friends? Maybe? It’s… Too much to think about now. Too much to take in. Food. Food he can take in. It smells wonderful.Bucky has made a little of everything. JARVIS always makes sure the kitchen is stocked, even if Tony seldom uses it. Now the table is filled with bacon, eggs in several varieties, pancakes, waffles, fruit and juice.“I didn’t know what you liked, so I made a little of everything.” Bucky says with a smile.Tony looks the table over again. “No coffee…” he says slowly.“No.” Bucky sounds firm. “You are not stable enough for coffee yet. You still need a lot of rest.”“But I need coffee to work…” Tony starts, but Bucky stops him. “No. No coffee. No work. Juice and water and rest.” It’s not a command, not really. But Bucky still has a tone of voice that makes Tony bend his neck and look down at the floor. Bucky walks over to him, putting his hands on Tony’s arms. “I’m trying to take care of you, okay? You are still recovering, both from the kidnapping and from being alone for so long. You need rest, not work. You understand that, right?”Tony nods slowly, still not looking up. He wants to do what Bucky says. He wants to be good. He wants- No. He wants to make his owns decisions. He does not need this. He doesn’t want to react like this. He doesn’t want anyone to control him. He takes a step back and Bucky lets go of him. Tony immediately feels cold.“Tony… I know you don’t trust me. You have no reason to. But I AM trying to help you. You can’t keep fighting me like this. You are only hurting yourself.” Bucky says, kindly and patient. How can he stay so patient? Tony is not good company. At some point, Bucky will tire of him, get mad, start using his power. Better to push him now, get it over with. Go back to being alone.“Don’t tell me what to do!” Tony says, loud and angry. “You don’t get to decide. You don’t know me. I don’t want a dom! I don’t want anyone telling me what to do, or ordering me around. I just want to be left alone. Leave me alone! Why are you even here? You don’t need me. You can find some army sub, I’m sure they’d love for you to order them around. Just leave me alone… Leave… L-leave me…” He’s shaking again, choking on the words. The world is spinning and he is going to fall into darkness forever. He’s cold to the core. He’s going to fall.He never hits the ground. Strong arms wrap around him and a gentle hand is stroking his hair. “Shhh… It’s okay Tony… I know you’re scared… It’s okay…” Bucky says very gently. Tony is still shaking. Maybe he’s crying. He’s not sure. He wants Bucky to let go. He wants him to leave. He wants to be left alone. He wants…Tony never wants Bucky to leave again. But he’s so scared that he will.Bucky holds him until he stops shaking. The soldier is the only reason Tony is still standing. He’s leaning heavy on Bucky with his eyes closed. Bucky is still petting his hair.“It’s gonna be okay… I’ll help you… I know you are still scattered… C’mere, lemme take care of this…” Bucky says, picking Tony up and carrying him to the sofa, putting him down gently. When he lets go, Tony opens his eyes in surprise. Bucky smiles at him. “Just gettin’ the food. Then I’ll be back, okay?”Tony nods slowly, closing his eyes again. He feels tired again. Footsteps lead away from him, then back. Bucky sits down next to him and sets their plates on the table.“You need to eat a little before you sleep again Tony. Come on, sit up for me…” Bucky helps Tony up, sitting him against his own side, so Tony is leaning on the soldier again. “Good… You are doing good Tony. Now eat a little, then you can rest, okay?”Tony opens his eyes. There is a plate in front of him. It smells wonderful and his stomach growls loudly, making Bucky smile. When was the last time he ate? At the hospital maybe? It seems a long time ago. Tony eats slowly, concentrating on not loosing his food from the plate to his mouth. Bucky helps him when his hands are shaking too much, but lets him eat most of it on his own. It helps. It makes Tony feel less helpless.He gets through half the food before the fork starts to feel heavy and he has to rest his hand on the table before moving it again. Bucky takes the fork and hold a bottle of water up to Tony. “Here, drink.”Tony drinks. It’s not a command, it doesn’t feel like one. Bucky is trying to help. It’s nice.Bucky takes the bottle away and pulls Tony closer, placing him in front of himself and pulling a blanket around him. “You okay like this? Good… You did good Tony… You can rest now…”It feels safe again. Bucky’s arms around him, the steady breathing behind him. Tony sighs and closes his eyes again, slipping easily into sleep.He wakes up a little later to Bucky watching a movie without sound. Tony watches for a little while, not saying anything. Bucky is still there, even with Tony shouting. Does that mean he will stay? At least for a while? It will hurt more when he does leave, but maybe Tony can have this just for a time.“’m sorry…” It comes out muffled and low, but Bucky moves a little under him.“I know…” Bucky says quietly. “You are unbalanced, a little starved and a lot in pain. I understand. I don’t want to control you, I don’t want to order you around. I just want to help you, but you have to let me.”“I… I’m trying… It’s… Hard…” Tony hides his face a little in the blanket. Bucky runs his fingers through Tony’s hair.“It’s okay… I have a lot of experience taking care of a stubborn little shit who doesn’t know what’s good for him…” He says. Tony smiles.Bucky turns the sound up on the TV and they end up watching movies together. Tony wonders if it should feel strange, being so close to a person he know so little about, but it doesn’t. It feels right. Warm and safe. Tony dozes off a few times, so they mostly watch movies he’s seen before.It’s dark out when Bucky’s phone rings. He turns down the TV and picks up.“Hey… Yeah, I’m still here… Watching TV… I’m fine” He says, then listens for a while to the tiny voice in the phone. “Yeah, no, that’s a good idea… Do you know where… Okay… See you then… Love you too…”He hangs up. Tony looks at him. “Girlfriend?” he asks.“Boyfriend, actually.” Bucky answers. Tony is a little surprised by this, but shrugs it off. It doesn’t really matter to him.“He’s gonna bring some of my stuff over, since I’m staying here for the time being. I hope that’s okay…” Bucky continues.“Oh… Okay… That’s a good idea…” Tony says, looking up again. “Do you… Um… He could stay for dinner, if you like…”Bucky smiles surprised. “Really? That’d be great. After… What happened, he gets a little nervous if I’m away for too long… I… I was MIA for a while and he… Everyone thought I was dead…” His voice has gotten real quiet and Tony has to strain his ears to hear him. Doms are usually not like this, quiet and vulnerable. Bucky isn’t like any dom Tony has met before. It makes him feel better about letting Bucky help him.“Your… He’s not a sub…”It’s not really a question. If Bucky was already with a sub, he would have no need for Tony.Bucky laughs before answering. “God no. People used to think he was, though. But I always knew he wasn’t. Not my Stevie. He’s far too stubborn for that. I have never in my life seen him back down from a fight, even before he… He used to be small. Real small. And sick. All the time. He was so frail as a kid. Most people didn’t believe he’d live to be twenty. But he was too stubborn for anything else.”Relationships between two doms were not unheard of, but they were generally rare. A dom needed a sub like a sub needed a dom. That’s the way the world works.“Sometimes I wonder…” Bucky continues, more to himself than Tony. “If he had been… Or if I’d been a sub… I think we would have had a True Bond… I would have liked that…”Tony has no idea what to say. The thought is unheard of. A dom never wants to be anything other than a dom. Never! It staggers him so much, that it takes a moment before he realises that what Bucky was really talking about was having a True Bond. That’s easier for Tony, he can just dismiss that as a fairy tale. True Bonds, the thought that some doms and subs will fit together so well that they never have to explain their needs, almost like soulmates, is just a fiction. It works well in movies and books, but it’s not a real thing.“Why are you making that face?” Bucky is looking at him. Tony shrugs. “Doms only want to be doms. And True Bonds don’t exist.”Bucky raises an eyebrow. “Look who’s waking up to his opinions. You don’t believe in True Bonds?”“No.” Tony shakes his head. “It’s just… Something to sell love stories. Like soulmates or destiny.”“Maybe you’ll be surprised one day.” Bucky says, picking up his phone. “Do you want me to cook for us or should I tell Steve to bring dinner?”“You… You don’t work for me… You don’t have to cook for me…” Tony says, a little unsure.“I don’t mind.” Bucky says, but he turns to his phone and sends a text anyway. “But this gives us time to finish the movie before he gets here.”The credits start to roll across the screen as JARVIS speaks up. “There is a Captain Rogers here to see you, Sir.”“That’s him!” Bucky sits up with a smile. Tony is a little surprised, but seeing Bucky smile like that somehow makes him happy. “Okay JARVIS, let him in.”Tony and Bucky are up from the sofa when the doors open and who must be Captain Rogers step into the penthouse. He is dressed just a casually as Bucky was and is just as handsome. Blond, with startling blue eyes, he has broad shoulders and is taller than most men Tony have met. His height is undermined a bit by the fact that he ducks his head and seems a little shy. Tony is suddenly very aware that neither he nor Bucky is wearing a shirt of any kind.Bucky steps over to the new guest and grabs his elbow gently while kissing him. The kiss seems to make Captain Rogers a little less shy and he smiles at Bucky. “Hey Buck. You okay?”“I’m fine love. Come, you need to meet Tony.”The two men walk over to Tony, who is still standing by the couch. Captain Rogers holds out his hand. “I’m Steve. It’s good to see you on your feet again.”“Oh… Thanks… I… Were you with Bucky when he… Oh…” Tony stops himself. Captain Rogers, the other person who know about Tony and will keep his secret. Bucky told him this. Steve had to have been part of the rescue mission then.“I was. It was my team that was sent to find you. I’m glad it worked as smoothly as it did.” Steve says, smiling. Bucky has taken the take-out and is setting the table already. Tony has a hard time with someone being that effective right now, even if he know it’s pretty normal.“How are you feeling? At the hospital you were a little… Off…” Steve looks a little unsure, like he is afraid to talk about this even if he knows.“I’m fine.” Tony shrugs. He is. He is fine. He’s skin has stopped aching and he feels a little more balanced. He’s not completely fine, but he will get by. He always has. Even if Bucky leaves, he’ll find a way to be okay.“You are not fine Tony.” Bucky says from the table and looks at both of them. “But you are getting better. And you will be even better when you have had some dinner. Come eat, both of you.”Steve smiles at Tony and it seems so much more genuine than anything Tony is used to. Then Steve goes to the table and sits down next to Bucky, taking his hand and kissing it softly before turning to his food. Tony sits down opposite them, taking the food Bucky hands him.“This place is very impressive. I have never been inside Stark Tower before.” Steve says with a smile, looking at Tony.“It’s… Uhm… The lobby is open to the public, but most of it is Stark Industries… And I live here…” Tony says lamely. It’s a bad answer, but Steve just smiles. That man seems to smile all the time.“What did you do today? There must be a lot to do in a place like this.” He asks.“We… We just watched movies…” Tony looks down at his food, already a little tired again. Bucky takes over and tells Steve about the movies they have seen. Tony can’t remember half of them, but it’s nice to hear Bucky talk. At some point they move on the Steve’s day and Tony just listens to them talk. He watches the way the look at each other, the was Bucky’s eyes keeps finding Steve’s, the way Steve's smile brightens every time they do. Tony is a little sad that he is the one keeping them apart.Tony zones out a little while eating and only returns when he hears Bucky say his name. Then he realizes they are done eating and Bucky is talking about him. “- needed a little convincing, but he is doing better now. We are making this work, right Tony?”They are both looking at him now. Tony feels a little lightheaded but he nods. “I… I’m trying…”“And you are doing really great Tony. This is new for both of us, but you have been doing so good, letting me help.” Bucky says with a smile.The world is tilting around Tony. Bucky is praising him in front of Steve, in front of another dom. He is pretty sure Bucky is calling his name, but it’s too far away. Everything is growing dark around him and he is falling again, but he doesn’t hit the ground this time either. Something warm and strong wraps around him and everything is soft.When Tony wakes again, he feels warm and safe and light. There is an arm around his shoulder and a hand gently petting his hair. Something soft is wrapped around him and he is leaning against a firm side. He can hear the TV and realises that he’s on the sofa under a blanket, resting against Bucky.Bucky must know he is awake, he always seem to know, but he doesn’t say anything this time. From the sound of it, Bucky is watching something about World War 2 and a group called The Howling Commandoes. Tony just listens for a while. It’s not really that interesting, but the sound is nice and Bucky’s hand in his hair is relaxing.“How are you feeling Tony?” Bucky asks gently after some time.“Light.” Tony answers, smiling and still not opening his eyes. His mind feels half asleep and he wants to stay like that a little longer.Bucky laughs quietly. “I’m not surprised.” He says. “I have never seen anyone drop like that. I didn’t mean to do it, I’m sorry. I’m just glad I caught you before you fell off your chair.”Right. Dinner. They had been talking. Bucky had been telling Steve… Tony feels lightheaded again. He must still be pretty scattered. Bucky’s hand moves from his hair to his shoulder.“I… I didn’t know it could happen like that…” Tony shuffles a bit, not really moving anywhere.“It’s rare. But you have been on your own for a very long time. I don’t think normal rules apply to our situation.” Bucky is still taking quietly. But Tony is awake now. Maybe he has to open his eyes to prove it, so he does and realises why Bucky is quiet.Steve is on the couch as well, sleeping soundly and leaning heavily on Bucky’s left side.“I, um…” Bucky looks a little apologetic. “I hope you don’t mind… I didn’t want him to leave and he is so tired. He stays up with me when I can’t sleep and when I’m not home, he doesn’t really calm down enough to get any rest…”To his surprise, Tony finds that he is okay with two doms on his couch. More than that actually. “It’s fine… If you want, he can stay the night…”Bucky looks at him for a long time. “Are you sure? It’s your home Tony, you don’t have to let us invade it like that…”“No, it’s… You miss each other… And my bed is big… “ Tony bites his lip. What the fuck? Why would he say that? Steve would be fine sleeping on the couch, why does Tony want him in the bed? It was hard enough to get used to Bucky, but now…Bucky moves a little, looking questioning at Tony. Tony just shrugs. His bed is huge, too big for him alone. It feels cold and lonely when it’s just him. He tried filling it with models and actresses, but it never felt like enough. Even if it’s hard to admit, it feels better when Bucky is there. And Bucky would be in the middle. It’s not like he’d be sleeping with Steve or even touching him. He’s not sleeping with Bucky either.“You don’t have to…” Bucky says again.“You are helping me… And him being here helps you, right? And him. It’s not like I’ll even know he is there with you in the middle.” Tony says. He’s far too stubborn to back off now and when he sees the questioning look on Bucky’s face change to a smile, Tony finds that he doesn’t want to. He wants Bucky to be happy.“Then we better go to bed. Can’t have a Captain with a bad neck after sleeping on my cold-ass arm when there is a warm bed waiting.” Bucky winks at Tony. “Why don’t you go get ready, then I’ll deal with waking him up.”Tony nods, but it takes him a moment to untangle himself from Bucky. He wants to stay but going to bed seems like a really good idea, even if he just woke up again. So eventually he does get up and go to the bathroom. He can hear Bucky talk to Steve, not the words, but the tone. It’s different from when he talks to Tony. It’s just as patient and gentle, but there is something loving in his voice now that isn’t there when he is talking to Tony. It’s fine. They must have been together for years. They are in love. No one loves Tony. He’s not jealous.When the soldiers enter the bedroom, Tony is sitting on the bed with his tablet. It’s been weeks since he got any work done and he really wants to do something soon. Hopefully there will be time to go to the workshop tomorrow, see how U, DUM-E and Butterfingers are doing. JARVIS will have taken care of them in his absence, but Tony has started missing his bots.“I said go to bed, not go to work Tony.” Bucky says with a look at the tablet. Steve is standing behind him, looking a little insecure, dressed in a soft shirt and sweatpants that seem a little too short. They might be Bucky’s.“I was just going to -“ Tony starts, but Bucky puts a hand on the tablet with a patient smile. “Tomorrow.” He says. “Right now, you need to sleep.”Sighing, Tony puts the tablet away. He wants to work, but sleeping means that Bucky will hold him again. He is not as touch starved, as he was when he was kidnapped, but he still feels cold if he is alone for too long. He is still unbalanced and it will be over in a few days, but until then Bucky will be there. After… After Tony will be alone again and he’ll make a new band with suppressants and it will be fine. But for now, he is not alone.“Come on, lie down.” Bucky gently pushes Tony down on the mattress and places himself in the middle. Steve sits down on the opposite side, looking shyer than a Captain should. “Tony, I… Thank you for this… I’m really glad you understand.”“You’re sharing Bucky… Least I can do is share my bed…” Tony mumbles, getting gentle smiles from both soldiers. Bucky pats the bed next to him, making Steve lie down and then turns his head to Tony. “We are still grateful. Now go to sleep Tony.” Bucky says, petting Tony’s hair gently.Tony’s body feels heavy and his eyes are closed, even if he can’t remember closing them. He is on Bucky’s right side, he notices, meaning that Steve will be against Bucky’s metal arm and Tony only against his skin. He appreciates that while he drifts off to sleep.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Someone moves in the bed. Tony is vaguely aware of it, but it’s not important and he goes back to sleep without ever having been fully awake.Later, he wakes up. He can feel Bucky’s arms around him and hear his breathing, so he is still in the bed. But someone did get up, didn’t they? Who… Oh right, Steve had been there as well. Did he leave? No, someone is in the kitchen.Behind him, Bucky stretches without letting go of Tony. “He takes the day off, but still go running at seven in the morning. Sometimes I wonder what I even see in him.” His voice seems too gentle for the coarse words.“Did you sleep?” Tony asks carefully. It might not be his place, but that is why Steve is still there.“I did. So did he. Thank you.” Bucky says, sitting up in the bed as the door to the bedroom creaks open. Tony lifts his head to see Steve smiling a little insecure with a tray in his hands.“I… I made breakfast…” he says, walking over to the bed and setting the tray down. Eggs, waffles, toast, jam and sausages are piled in the plates. Bucky reaches up so he can grab Steve’s hand and pull him down for a kiss.“Thanks love. Eat with us?” Bucky asks.“I don’t want to intrude...” Steve says, looking at Tony. Tony, sitting up and reaching for the food, just shrugs. “’s fine.”Steve smiles and sits down next to Bucky, getting a plate for himself.Tony usually never eats in bed. When he remembers to eat, it mostly happens in his workshop or at some fancy restaurant for a meeting. He stays quiet most of the time while Bucky asks Steve about his run and Steve tells about a guy he passed four times while running. Bucky is both laughing and shaking his head at Steve.When they are done, Steve gathers the plates again. “Do you have any plans for today?”“You said I could work.” Tony says immediately, looking at Bucky. “I want to go to my workshop and I want a better look at the arm.”“The arm?” Steve asks, slightly confused. Bucky smiles and lifts his left hand. “Apparently, Tony made this.”“And I’m going to make it better. Or make a new one. I need to fix the wrist and the ring finger is not properly calibrated. And it’s too big. I can make a smaller one, lighter too. Maybe make it faster or -“ Tony only stops because Bucky puts a hand, the human one, on his shoulder.“One thing atta time doll. You want to go to your workshop? Where is that?” He asks.“Downstairs.” Tony says and Bucky nods, getting up from the bed. “Good. We don’t have to leave the building then? I think that’s okay.”Tony jumps from the bed, eager to get to work. Steve retreats to the kitchen to clean.“I’m going to take a shower, then you can show me your workshop.” Bucky says, disappearing into the bathroom. Tony goes to the guest bathroom to clean himself up a bit. If he is going to work there is no reason for him to shower now.When he comes back to the kitchen, he finds Steve packing his things.“I’ll just stay until I can say goodbye to Bucky, then I’ll leave you alone.” He says, smiling a small smile. Tony nods, but feels surprisingly disappointed by this. Pushing the thought away, he goes to stand by the window. He misses coffee, but Bucky said no yesterday and getting some without asking him feels wrong. And Tony is trying to push enough bad feelings away.Bucky will stay, he promised. Steve just came by to see Bucky, not help Tony. He’ll be fine. Wanting two doms is greedy and he didn’t want one to start with. Steve has his own life and it’s not fair to ask him to give that up for someone he only just met. It’s hardly fair to ask that of Bucky, but he claims it’s what he wants.Tony still wants Steve to stay.Tony pushes the thought away again, thinking instead of Bucky’s arm and what he can do to improve it. Bucky deserves that. He lost the arm serving his country, maybe saving someone like he saved Tony. Someone alone and cold, trapped in walls of stone and held down by rough hands, someone scared and alone and in pain and…It takes a moment before he realises that the sound in his ears is his own heart, beating too fast. He’s too preoccupied by the fact that he can’t breathe and everything is getting dark. He tries to cry out. He’s not sure where he is. He was home, wasn’t he? Safe. But he can’t see and everything feels like cold stone around him. He can’t breathe and he is falling again.Someone catches him. Again. And there is a voice somewhere far away, getting closer. “Tony? Tony, I need you to come back to me. Breathe Tony. Breathe for me.”There is an edge of command in the tone, but it’s soft enough not the force him. It’s trying to help him. The voice. Bucky. Bucky is there to help him, to protect him.“Focus on my voice. Breathe with me.”The voice is closer now.Tony breathes.“There you go, that’s real good Tony. Just breathe, I’ve got you. Just breathe for me.”Tony doesn’t remember closing his eyes, but they are. It’s easier. He can just focus on breathing and the voice. The world is slowly coming back to him. He can feel the floor under his bare feet. He can feel a warm body behind him, holding him up. Arms holding him up, one around his waist, one around his shoulder. Firm and soft and warm. Both of them.Not Bucky.Tony opens his eyes. He is still in front of the large window and in the reflection he can see himself leaning on a worried Steve. Not his dom. No. Bucky isn’t his dom, he is just helping while Tony gets better. Then he’ll leave again.Tony’s hearth rate picks up again. Steve’s arms tighten around him.“Easy. Easy Tony, you’re safe, you’re home. Just breathe, c’mon, breathe with me.”Tony closes his eyes tight, focusing on the movement of Steve’s chest behind him. Slow and steady. In. out. In. out.“Breathe Tony.”Tony breathes. And the world comes back again.He sags a little into Steve, letting the soldier take his weight. He would fall on his own. “There you go, good job. You are doing great Tony, just keep breathing for me, that’s it.”“’m fine…” Tony mumbles, trying to get his feet back under him.“You had a panic attack, that’s not fine.” Steve says sternly. Tony winces.“Didn’t mean to…” he breaths, feeling a little dizzy. Steve lets out a small laugh. He is standing so close to Tony that the air brushes his skin, making him shiver a little. “No one means to have a panic attack. They just happen.”Tony hangs his head and Steve starts rubbing gently against his shoulder with a thumb. “It’s not your fault Tony, no one is mad at you. Like I said, they just happen. Come, I think you should sit down a little.”The words help. Tony didn’t do anything wrong. He lets Steve guide him to the couch and sits down. Steve is still next to him, an arm around his shoulders, letting a hand run up and down Tony’s arm. Tony leans on him. He feels weak and needy. Belatedly, he wonders if Bucky will be mad. Doms can be very possessive. Tony doesn’t want to make him mad, but it feels impossible to sit up on his own.Footsteps move closer and Bucky kneels down in front of him, holding out a glass of water. His hair is hanging damp around his face and his chest is bare.“Here. You should drink something.” He says. His voice is gentle and his eyes are worried. He doesn’t seem mad. Tony takes the water and drinks. It helps.“Good thing Steve was here, huh?” Bucky continues, placing his hand on Steve’s knee with a smile. “Usually I’m the one with the panic attacks.”“Y’r not… mad…” Tony says weekly. Bucky looks a little surprised, but then shakes his head. “No one is mad, Tony. None of this is your fault. Besides, Steve is much better at this than me. He has experience talking me down and I tend to get violent when I panic.”Tony lets out a breath he had been holding without realising it. Another wave of dizziness hits him and he lets his head fall on Steve’s shoulder. Knowing that Bucky can get violent should scare him more than it does, but it’s too hard to focus by now.“You don’t have to stay awake Tony…” Steve’s voice is gentle. “You can drift a little if you want…”If you want. Tony has never known of a dom to give options like that. Not to him. It makes him feel safe. Maybe he can do this and still keep his freedom.The world is getting fuzzy around him, but this time the dark is warm and soft. He doesn’t drop, not really, but he’s not awake either. He’s floating somewhere in between. His thoughts are slow and lead nowhere. His is dimly aware that Bucky and Steve are talking next to him, but the words wash over him without making any sense.Tony’s mind comes back with Bucky laughing. He is still talking to Steve, something about work it seems. Tony opens his eyes and sees Bucky sitting on the table in front of them. He smiles when he notices Tony being awake.“Hey. How do you feel?”“Better…” Tony sits up a little, letting Steve’s arm fall away. Both doms are looking at him now. Worrying about him. It’s almost too much and Tony has to look away.“Hey…” Bucky puts a hand on Tony’s cheek and turns his head, so their eyes meet. His hand seems impossibly soft against Tony’s skin. “Do you like this Tony? Do you want both of us to stay with you today?”“You… You don’t have to…” Tony tries to look away, but Bucky’s steely eyes holds him.“That’s not what I asked.”“I… Yes… Please…” It’s barely more than a breath, but it seems to be enough. Bucky smiles and runs his thumb over Tony’s cheekbone in a gentle caress. “Then we’ll stay.” He says. Like it’s that easy. Like Tony isn’t being unreasonable, demanding the attention of two doms. Like they want to be here.“Do you still want to go to your workshop?” Steve asks.“Yeah…” The workshop. Working. He understands that. Building something is easy. Understanding the two men with him seems impossible. “I want… I want to get scans of the arm… I want to see how it works…”“Then we better get dressed.” Bucky says, getting up and holding a hand out to Tony.All three of them enter the workshop half an hour later. Steve finds the sofa and sits down with a book and a sketchpad, while Tony directs Bucky to a scanner and starts exanimating the arm. Working is easy. Bucky is patient and interested in what Tony does, asking questions about the arm. Steve is drawing. Tony is usually alone in the workshop, he prefers not to be disturbed, but this is nice. It feels comfortable. Neither Steve nor Bucky are in his way and their presence makes him relax.And then Bucky forces him to relax. He lets Tony work for a few hours and then makes him sit down next to Steve, drinking water and resting. Normally Tony would be annoyed by the interruption, but as soon as he sits down, he realises that he needs the rest. Steve shows him what drawings he is making while Bucky explores the workshop and gets to know the bots. They missed Tony and are exuberant to meet both Bucky and Steve.Tony is happy. He cannot remember the last time he was this happy. He could get used to this. He wants to get used to this. But he can’t. They are going to leave again. Tony knows this, he just forgot, and now he feels cold all over.He stops moving, the blueprint in front of him frozen in the air. Bucky is at his shoulder in an instant.“What’s wrong?” he asks, gently grabbing his elbow. Tony sways a little, glad to have the support.“It’s not… Nothing…” Tony says, lifting his free hand to move the blueprint again. His hand is shaking. Steve gently takes it, pulling him away from the blueprint. He is standing on Tony’s other side. Both of them are with him. For now.“You… You are going to leave…” Tony says weakly.“You don’t want a dom, you told me.” Bucky says softly.“I don’t… I… I don’t want anyone telling me what to do…” Tony tries to blink away the tear threatening to spill over. Bucky moves in behind him, pulling Tony’s body flush against his own, putting his arms around Tony’s waist.Steve takes both of Tony’s hands in his. “What do you want Tony?”“I… I don’t want to be alone anymore… I want someone to… Be there…” It’s vague, but it’s more truth than he has admitted to himself in a long time.“Then we’ll be there.” Steve says firmly, looing at Tony, but Tony shakes his head. “You’ll leave… When I’m better, you’ll leave again…”“We don’t have to. We can stay for as long as you need, Tony, for as long as you want. You won’t be alone.”He seems so sure. So strong and capable. He talks like a commander, focused and in control. Like he knows what to do and how to handle it. God, Tony wants him to know. He wants Steve to be right.He is leaning on Bucky, incapable of holding himself up. He only realises that he is crying when Steve lets go with one hand to wipe the tears from his face. His hand lingers a moment and Tony leans into the touch. He is not aching anymore, but he still feels better when someone is touching him. He always hated that. It makes him feel needy and desperate and ashamed. Steve doesn’t seem to mind. Neither does Bucky. Maybe it’s okay to be a little needy. Just this once.“Lets go back upstairs. I think it’s enough work for now.” Steve says gently and Tony just nods. He lets Steve and Bucky guide him into the elevator and JARVIS sends them back to the apartment. Tony feels tired again. A small part of his brain is trying to be annoyed at the weakness, but mostly his mind is numb.They place him on the sofa. Steve starts rubbing his back and arms, Bucky gently massaging his legs. Tony drops off before he even realises it.He is leaning on Steve and his legs are in Bucky’s lap. They are talking, but the words only start making sense when Tony hears Bucky say his name.“Tony doesn’t believe in that.”“It doesn’t matter what he believes. This is different from anything I have tried before.”“Do you believe in it?”“I do. It’s… It fits. This is so much stronger than normally, so much faster.”“Maybe it’s just because he needs it more than normally.”“That shouldn’t affect us. Not like this.”“I don’t know Stevie… Maybe we should ask Tony, now that he’s awake.”There is a shuffling behind him and Tony feels himself being lifted a little, so he’s sitting more upright.“How are you feeling Tony?” Bucky asks, when Tony opens his eyes to look at them.“You were talking ‘bout me…” Tony says, his voice still a little hoarse.“About all of us, not just you.” Steve says, squeezing his shoulder gently.“Steve thinks we have a True Bond.” Bucky supplies. Tony shakes his head. “’s not a real thing.”“Maybe it is. Tell me Tony, if you could have any other dom here, would you? Anyone but us?” Steve asks.Fear rises up in Tony’s chest and he looks from one to the other. “You… You said you wouldn’t leave!” He fixes his gaze on Bucky, who seems worried. “You promised!”“I know I did. We are not leaving you Tony. Not unless you tell us to go.” Bucky says, putting a reassuring hand on Tony’s knee. “But this… Whatever this is, is special. We don’t want to leave you anymore than you want us to leave.”The words make Tony calm down again. Knowing that they want to stay helps. “I… I don’t want you to leave… And I… I don’t want anybody else here… I… I feel safe with you… I don’t normally…”“I’m glad.” Bucky says, squeezing his knee softly. “We’ll take good care of you until you are balanced again. And if we still feel the same way by then, we can talk about a more permanent Bond.”Tony closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. He never wanted a dom to take control of his life with a Bond. But Bucky has hardly commanded him to do anything. And Steve only commanded him when he needed to stop panicking. He feels safe with them, far more than he ever did with any other dom, even Pepper or Rhodey. He always trusted them, but not with this. Not after… No. Doesn’t matter. Steve and Bucky are not like that.“I don’t… Want anyone to control my life… But I… I like… It feels better when you are here…” he whispers.“We don’t want to control your life. I never liked that.” Steve says. “I’ve had subs before, but… I don’t like ordering them around…”Tony turns to look at his face. “Isn’t your job to order people around Captain?”Steve smiles. “Only people who choose to be there. You don’t get to pick if you want to be a dom or sub, you get to pick being a soldier.”Tony smiles, turning back and leaning into Steve again. Maybe it could work. It feels right.“We don’t have to decide now. In fact, I think we should have dinner now.” Bucky says, putting Tony’s feet down and getting up. Steve give Tony’s shoulders a brief hug before getting up and following Bucky to the kitchen. Tony watches them go, letting his thoughts wander. It might work. He wants it to. But Bucky and Steve are together and have been for a while. Tony would be the odd one out. He’s not their lover. He would just be their sub. Before the kidnapping, he never wanted to be anyone’s sub. Now he wonders it that would be enough.Bucky calls him from the kitchen and Tony pushes the thought away. Bucky cooks while Steve sets the table and Tony just watches after Steve bodily places him in a chair and tells him to stay there. Dinner is good and Tony explains what changes he wants to make to Bucky’s arm. After, they move back to the couch to watch a movie, but Tony falls asleep before they are halfway through.He wakes later in bed, surrounded by warmth. Turning a little, he realises that he is in the middle of the bed with a soldier on either side. It’s warmer than he is used to, but not uncomfortable. Smiling, he burrows a little closer to whoever is in front of him and goes back to sleep.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The sun wakes him up some time later. There is no one in front of him, but Bucky’s metal arm is wrapped around his waist. Steve must have gone running. Bucky is snoring faintly, so he’s still asleep. Tony stays where he is, listening to Bucky’s breathing and letting his mind wander. The bed smells faintly of Steve now as well as Bucky. Steve is Bucky’s boyfriend and Tony does not mind sharing either of them. But he feels a little left out by the thought of the two together. His minds is filled with pictures of moving limbs, soft lips on warm skin, reaching hands and…Tony’s eyes fly open. The images seem to linger still. He’s not gay. He likes women. He has slept with an unending line of beautiful women, models, actresses, journalists, anything in a short skirt. And still his mind lingers on the thought of Bucky’s lips and Steve’s hands. Steve has an artists hands, elegant and soft. Bucky’s hand… Bucky has his hand. Tony bites his lip and closes his eyes again. He made Bucky’s hand. Strong and metal and nimble and reaching for…Tony sits up in bed and Bucky makes a surprised sound. “Tony? Wha…?”“Sorry. I need… Bathroom…” Tony stumbles out of bed and into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He washes his hands and face, trying not to acknowledge that he is hard.He doesn’t care that Steve and Bucky are gay. But he’s not. Maybe it’s the thought of something he made, but that doesn’t explain the thought of Steve.He stays in the bathroom thinking about equations until his arousal is gone. Then he walks back into the bedroom. Bucky is sitting up in bed, looking a little worried, but Tony waves him off.“I’m fine. I just… I’m fine…” He sits back into bed and Bucky puts an arm around his shoulders.“Okay… You don’t have to tell me. But I’m here if you think I can help…”Tony bites his lip again. There are a lot of things he wants Bucky’s help with. He is saved from answering by the sound of Steve coming back from his run and enters the bedroom. “Good morning.”“’Mornin’ Stevie. How was your run?” Bucky smiles.“Good.” Steve leans in over the bed, kissing Bucky’s cheek. Then he turns his head and kisses Tony’s cheek too. Then he freezes completely.“Oh fuck, Tony, I… I didn’t mean…”Tony looks down, blushing more furiously than he ever remembers having done before. “’s okay…” he mumbles.“No, I shouldn’t have… I know you don’t want that…” Steve continues, sounding truly horrified by his lack of thought. Tony feels himself blushing even more, however impossible it seems.“Hang on Steve…” Bucky pulls Tony a little closer, so the engineer is leaning on his shoulder. “Did you change your mind Tony?”Closing his eyes, Tony takes a deep breath. “I… I don’t know… A little… Maybe…”“A little?” Steve sits on the bed next to them. “Talk to us Tony…”“I don’t know… I started thinking and then I… And I might have panicked a little…” Tony says.Bucky pulls Tony closer, putting both arms around him and placing his chin on Tony’s shoulder. “’s that why you ran away to the bathroom? Because you started thinking about us?”Tony nods. “I… Don’t know what to… How to…” he tries feebly. Steve takes his hands. “It’s okay. We can do this any way you want Tony. Nothing more or nothing less than you want.”“We want to help you. We just want to be good to you. You’ve been so good at letting us take care of you Tony. We’ll keep taking care of you like this, if you don’t want any more…” Bucky supplies.Tony cannot bring himself to look at any of them. His voice seems so small. “I… I think I do…”“Yeah?” Steve takes Tony’s hands and kisses both of them gently. “You don’t have to decide right now. We have time. We can wait ‘till you are sure.”Tony nods, still not looking up, and leans a little more on Bucky. He does think he wants this. But wanting something and getting it are two very different things. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. Bucky is just holding him and Steve is caressing his hands. It’s nice and safe and maybe okay to want a little more…“Pardon me, Sirs, but Miss Potts is on her way.” JARVIS interrupts before Tony can say more. Tony sits up and opens his eyes. “Pepper? Is she back?”“Yes Sir, she came back this morning. I do believe she came here right from the plane.” JARVIS says, just as there is a knock on the door. Steve gets up and leaves the bedroom. Tony can hear him open the door as he scrambles to find some clean clothes. He hasn’t showered since he got back from the hospital and Pepper will most likely comment on that, but right now he has no time to fix it.Pulling a shirt over his head, Tony gets into the living room where he finds Steve blocking the door for Pepper, arms crossed in front of him. Bucky is right behind Tony, metal arm hidden behind a shirt and glove.“- here to see Mister Stark” Pepper is saying loudly from somewhere on the other side of the door. “Not to be intimidated by some stranger. Now you tell me where he is or I’ll -““I’m not telling you anything yet.” Steve says firmly. There is something protective in his stance that makes Tony pause a moment when he realises it’s because of him. Then he shakes himself and walks to the door. “It’s okay Steve, Pepper is a friend.” He says, pushing the broad soldier a little. If Steve really wanted to stay, Tony would not be able to budge him, but Steve moves away when pushed.On the other side of the door is Pepper Potts, lovely as ever, dressed in a sharp business suit with her red hair gathered in a high tail. Her stern expression disappears when she sees Tony and pulls him into a hug. “Tony! I heard what happened! Are you okay? Did you get a bodyguard?”“Hi Peps.” Tony leans into her a little and hides his face in her neck. He’s never done this before, because he has never been around her without suppressants. If she is surprised, she doesn’t show it. “’M okay, just tired…”He can feel Bucky and Steve standing behind him, attentive and protective. He pulls a little back from Pepper, who is looking over his shoulder with raised eyebrows. “There is another one. Who are they?”“They are… Um… This is Steve and Bucky…” Tony says, trying to find a way to explain the situation. He lets Pepper in and closes the door behind her. “They are helping me get better… Steve, Buck, this is Pepper Potts, she runs most of Stark Industries.”“Miss Potts.” Steve hold out his hand, apparently no longer hostile after having seen Tony greeting Pepper. Pepper takes it and then Bucky’s, watching them carefully.“How, exactly, are they helping you Tony?” Pepper asks.Tony looks down, debating whether or not he should tell Pepper the truth. He could probably make some excuse or divert her attention to his kidnapping, but she deserves the truth. She is his friend.“They are taking care of me. I’m scattered, I need someone to help me.” He finally says.“Scattered? Doms don’t get…” She pauses and looks at Tony again for a long while. Then her eyes grow wide and she covers her mouth with a hand. “Tony? You… You’re a sub?!”“Do you have a problem with that?” Steve growls, putting a protective hand on Tony’s shoulder. Tony leans into the touch a little.The soldiers aggression surprises Pepper, but it does nothing to scare her off. “I have no problem with him being a sub, I have a problem with him hiding it from me for years! We were dating Tony. Why did you never tell me?”It’s different, having a dom shouting at him without the suppressants, but Steve’s hand on his shoulder grounds him and Pepper is right to be angry.“I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want anyone to know.” Tony says, looking up at Pepper, who still seems mad.“Maybe you should start from the beginning.” Bucky suggests and Tony does. He tells her that he made the suppressants so he could avoid needing a dom (he doesn’t tell he why he wanted to avoid doms, not really), he tells her what happened when he got kidnapped and what happened after, when Bucky came to see him. He tells her about Steve and Bucky’s arm. He is sitting on the couch with Bucky on one side and Steve on the other. Pepper has a chair pulled up and a cup of coffee in her hands. Bucky even let Tony have a cup of coffee – only one, but it’s better than nothing.After he has explained everything, Pepper seems far more friendly towards Steve and Bucky, and tells Tony what she did in Beijing and even if he never really cared about the business side of his company, it’s nice to hear her talk about it. It feels familiar compared to everything else.They talk for hours, but then Pepper has to leave for a meeting. She kisses Tony on the cheek and promises to come back soon before leaving. When she is gone, Tony leans heavily on Bucky, who smiles and kisses his temple softly. “Are you tired Tony? Do you want to rest for a while?”“You gonna come with me?” Tony asks, eyes closed, letting Bucky hold him up.“If you want us to.” Bucky says. Tony just hums without opening his eyes. Someone laughs, but he’s not sure if it’s Bucky or Steve. Bucky puts an arm around him and guides Tony to the bedroom. Tony lets them lead him and lies down on the bed when gently pushed by Steve. He is half asleep already and when someone starts combing their fingers through his hair, he lets go completely.Waking up between two male soldiers was not something Tony had ever expected would happen to him. And he had never thought he would enjoy it so much. Bucky is behind him, metal hand resting on Tony’s hip, Steve is in front of him, his hand resting on top of Bucky’s. For once, Tony is the only one awake.Being the only one awake gives Tony a moment to go through the thoughts he had been pushing away so far. Thoughts of the future and the men beside him. Of his own wishes and desires. Of all the things he feared to admit, even to himself.Because the truth is, that he wants this. Tony wants the two soldiers in his home, in his bed, in his life. He wants them more than he remembers ever wanting the many women who had been to his bed. And he wants more from them than he had ever wanted of the women. He wants to be loved by them. He cannot remember wanting to be loved either.So he is scared. Love would make him vulnerable, give him something to loose. They might decide that they did not need him anymore. They had each other. Did they really need him as much as he needed them? They had only known him for a few days. There was so much about him they couldn’t know, so much damaged they would have to deal with. And what did he really know about them anyway? They had been in his life for less than a week and he was ready to be hurt for a chance to be with them, even for a time. Loosing them would destroy him, he was pretty sure of that. And yet, he was slowly realising that he was ready to try. Because he needs to keep them in his life. He needs to try.Steve moves a little in his sleep without waking up, making a soft noise. Tony opens his eyes and looks at him. He seems so peaceful in his sleep. Beautiful and calm. Tony is going to ruin that.Leaning forwards slowly, not wanting to wake anyone up too soon, Tony moves closer to Steve and places a careful kiss on his lips. Steve returns the kiss without even waking up, he just smiles in his sleep.During the last few days, Steve and Bucky has done much to touch Tony, but Tony has not really touched any of them more than he really had to. He is going to change that. He finds where Steve’s hand is resting on Bucky’s and let his fingers trail the arm upwards, following the lean muscles over the elbow and upper arm to the shoulder. Steve moves again, shuffling a little closer to Tony, but still not awake.Tony moves closer, kissing Steve a second time, letting his tongue run over the soldier’s lips. He might not have expedience with men, but he has experience with sex. Steve let out a long breath, opening his lips and then his eyes. He looks surprised by what he finds in front of him, but he keeps his smile.“Did you change your mind Tony?” Steve whispers.“I think… Yeah, I did…” Tony whispers back, smiling as well.“We can take it slow, if you want…” Steve looks at his face, as if searching for something.“I want you to touch me.” Tony says, brave with his newfound decisions and kisses Steve again, his hand moving from Steve’s shoulder to his neck. This time Steve opens his mouth and lets Tony in, kissing back with a ferocity that surprises him.As much as Tony s surprised by Steve, he is even more surprised by his own reaction and the moan he is unable to hold back. He can almost taste the smile on Steve’s lips.“Seems like I’m missing out.” Bucky’s voice is rough from sleeping, but his hands seems very awake as they grab Tony and pull him back, so he is flush against the newly awakened soldier. Tony lets out a faint sound as a tongue suddenly caresses his neck.“Snooze, you loose.” Steve mumbles, but his voice is muffled by the fact that his lips are busy kissing a trail from Tony’s mouth down over his chest. Bucky is still working on marking Tony’s neck with tongue and teeth and the realisation that he can feel the hard length of Bucky’s cock against his back makes Tony pant with want.Nothing has ever felt like this. Nothing he has done to himself, nothing any woman has ever done. Their touch lights his skin on fire and he would beg for more, if he were able to form the words. As it is, he can only make a needy sound that is soon swallowed by another kiss from Steve.Then Steve pulls back a little, looking at Tony with searching eyes. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to Tony. We can wait if -““I will sue you if you leave me like this Rogers!” Tony hisses as he grabs Steve by the neck and pulls him in for another kiss. He can feel Bucky’s breath as he laughs behind Tony. “I think he’s made up his mind Stevie. Just enjoy a good thing. I know I’m going to.”Bucky’s hands are on his hips then, moving Tony to his back between them. Steve’s hands are touching his chest, his hips, his legs. Bucky’s metal arm is holding Tony down. Not much, not even enough that he couldn’t get away if he tried, just enough that he can feel the weight.“Look at you Tony…” Bucky says, doing exactly that. His grey eyes blown with lust and he is a little breathless, despite not really having done much yet. “How the fuck did it take us so long to find you? We are going to be so good to you. We’re going to take so good care of you Tony. Will you let us take care of you?”Tony actually whimpers at the words. Steve kisses the sound away, moving against his hip, so Tony can feel that he is hard too. Tony’s own cock is straining against his underwear, longing for more than just kisses.As soon as Steve lets him go, Bucky takes over, licking into Tony’s mouth like he wants to taste every part of him. When he is done, he moves back a little and lets his metal hand move down Tony’s body.“There are so many thing I wanna do to you…” Bucky says, his fingers moving just under the edge of Tony’s pants. “But I think this is what you want, isn’t it? You spend so much time making my arm, touching every part of it… Did you think about this when you made it? Did you think about someone touching you with it?”Moving his hand into Tony’s pants, Bucky wraps his metal fingers around the hard length he finds there and starts moving slowly. Tony reaches out and grabs at… anything, really. He is pretty sure one of his hands is tangled in Steve’s hair and pulling a little too hard, but he can’t focus on anything but Bucky’s hand right now. “Yes… Fuck… Bucky, please…”“It’s okay Tony… Don’t worry, I know what you need… Let us take care of us…” Bucky licks the soft skin beneath Tony’s ear, making him shiver. Tony opens his mouth to maybe say something, but Steve covers it with his own, kissing Tony with the same ferocity as before and pressing his body close. Tony closes his eyes, unable to focus on anything but the hands and lips and bodies against his skin.Tony comes biting down on Steve’s lip, tasting blood and feeling metal against his skin.When Tony opens his eyes again, he sees Steve lick the taste of him off Bucky’s fingers. Tony lets out a little moan as the two soldiers lean in over him and kiss each other slowly and lovingly. Tony just watches them and feels how they reach over him to touch each other. It makes him whimper a little again.They come almost at the same time, foreheads pressed together, looking down at him. Tony feels himself blush a little at the attention. Then they lean down to kiss him, Bucky first then Steve. Tony sighs a little when they lie down on either side of him again. He feels sated and content. Closing his eyes again, he feels Steve run his fingers gently over his arm. “We need to shower…” Steve says after a while. Bucky laughs. “What, you don’t want people to see you like this Captain? Your hair never looked better.”Tony opens his eyes to look at Steve. His hair, where Tony grabbed it, is standing up, while the rest is flat against his head. Tony smiles and stretches. “I want a shower. And clean sheets. This was really messy.”“But good?” Bucky leans in over him, smiling.“So good…” Tony smiles a little dopily and Bucky bends down to kiss him.“Okay. Let’s get cleaned up.”It takes a little too long for Tony to get to his feet and when he does, he feels dizzy. Maybe it’s the new sensation of all this or maybe he is still scattered. Bucky and Steve don’t seem to mind, as they support him to the bathroom and help him change out of his clothes.“You are doing fine Tony, don’t worry. We’ve got you. We’re going to take good care of you.” Steve says gently. Tony hums faintly and drifts a little at the words. He knows Bucky and Steve turn on the water and wash him, but he’s not really aware of it. He is safe. They will take care of him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The rest of the day pass in a blur. Bucky cooks for them and Steve makes sure that Tony eats. They talk and watch a movie and Tony dozes through most of it, but it’s okay, neither Steve nor Bucky minds and they just pets his hair when he wakes up.When Bucky starts making dinner, Tony feels more like himself than he has in years.“Excuse me sir.” JARVIS speaks, interrupting a discussion about what metal to use for a new arm for Bucky. “But Miss Potts is calling.”“Oh…” Tony looks up. “Okay… Put her through…”“Mr. Stark?” Peppers voice is as clear as if she was in the room. Tony makes very good electronics.“Hi Pepper. How can I help you today?” Tony asks, leaning on Steve in the kitchen while watching Bucky work.“I need to know if you will be attending the Stark Anniversary Gala on Friday. You usually attend, but with everything that’s happened, I wanted to ask.”The gala usually ends up being a party where he picks up a very beautiful woman and disappears with her before dinner has begun. He wears a very expensive suit that ends up rumpled on the floor somewhere. He tends to miss the boring speeches and formal dancing that follows.Tony watches Bucky reach into a cupboard, searching for something, and feels Steve’s firm warmth behind him. Going to the gala this year would be very different. He turns in Steve’s arms, so he can face the soldier.“Do you want to go with me to the gala?” he asks.Steve places a hand on Tony’s cheek, holding his head gently. “Are you sure Tony? We are both declared. Going with either of us -““I’m not asking either of you.” Tony interrupts, looking from Steve to Bucky, who has stopped cooking to pay attention to them. “I’m asking both of you. I want both of you with me.”“This is an event with a lot of press, isn’t it?” Bucky asks, and then smiles wickedly when Tony nods. “Oh, this is going to be so fun!”Steve looks a little worried, but then smiles and kisses Tony. “If you want us there, we’ll be there sweetheart.”Tony flushes a little at that, but hopes Pepper can’t hear it in his voice. “I’ll be there Peps, Stark plus two. Make room for my boys on either side of me at the table.”“Of course, Mr Stark. I’ll make sure to send a car for you.” She ends the call, but Tony is sure he can hear the smile in her voice.Bucky leaves the cooking for a moment and goes to Steve and Tony. “So, we are going to a gala…”“Yeah…” Tony looks at them. “Do you need suits? It’s kinda formal.”Bucky smiles wickedly again, putting a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Oh don’t worry doll. We have dress uniforms. That should create enough of a spectacle for the famous Tony Stark, don’t you think?”Tony’s brain gets stuck somewhere between wanting to laugh and trying to imagine the two of them in uniform. He finds that he really likes the idea. Bucky breaks him free by kissing him. “What’s got you so quiet Tony?”“Uniforms…” Tony mutters against Bucky’s lips.“Really?” Bucky almost purrs. His hand moves from Tony’s shoulder down to the small of his back. “That something you like?”“Never liked them on women…” Tony mumbles, curling a little on himself under Bucky’s searching eyes. “Like the thought of them on you…”Bucky leans forwards to kiss him and Steve’s hands grab him a little tighter.“You know…” Bucky says, his eyes dark. “Dinner can wait if you want…”“Yeah?” Tony breathes. It’s getting a little hard to think.“Yeah.” Bucky says, leaning in again to kiss Tony slowly.“Come…” Bucky grabs his hand and pulls him gently towards the bedroom. It’s not a command. It’s a request. It’s Tony’s choice and the thought makes him shiver a little. If he wanted to say no, they would listen. (Tony doesn’t want to say no).Steve takes his free hand and they follow Bucky to the bedroom, where he is busy pulling off his shirt while Steve kisses Tony, who lets his hands wander across Steve’s body. It feels warm and firm beneath his hands, solid but yielding to his touch. Making it all the way to the bed takes a while, with hungry mouths and roaming hands everywhere, but finally Bucky pushes Tony down on the mattress and lies on top of him, grinding his hips down and making Tony moan.“So glad you want this Tony.” Bucky breathes, biting a mark into his neck before licking the skin. “So fucking hot.”Tony opens his mouth to speak, but then just leaves it open as he feels Steve’s warm mouth around his cock. He has tried this before, of course he has, but it never felt like this. Never like his whole world was this and nothing else existed.Bucky has moved to the bed next to him and is kissing his neck and chest. It’s already a little more than he can handle, but Tony doesn’t want to be a silent partner in this. He likes the way the soldiers treat him, but he wants to be good to them too.It takes a few tries before his hands find Bucky and grab his hard length, drawing a surprised sound from him. It’s a beautiful sound. Tony wants to hear it again, so he moves his hand and Bucky grabs his arm with closed eyes. “Oh fuck Tony…”Somehow, Bucky is still more coordinated than Tony is, even with his eyes closed, and he succeeds in bringing their lips together for a kiss. It’s a little hard to move his hand with their bodies so close, but from the sound Bucky is making against Tony’s mouth, he doesn’t care.It works for a while, but then Steve does something with his tongue and Tony looses his rhythm. Bucky laughs and grabs Steve by the shoulder, hauling him up to them. Steve kisses Tony, licking into his mouth and Tony grabs his neck to hold him close.When they finally separate, Steve is smiling and Tony has an idea. “Wanna try.” He says, licking his lips. “But I… I don’t know how…”“I’ll teach you.” Steve smiles broadly and pulls away from Tony, so he can arrange Bucky against the headboard and place Tony between his legs.“Good. Now, you don’t have to go as fast as I did. Take your time. Pay attention to the area around first.” Steve sits down next to Tony, watching him closely. Tony leans in a little closer, kissing the soft skin next to Bucky’s cock. Bucky hums softly at the sensation, until Tony bites down, making Bucky’s hips jerk involuntarily and change the hum to a curse.Steve smiles and Tony realises that he is holding Bucky down with a hand on his chest. “Don’t be fooled, he likes that.”Steve shows Tony how to take Bucky’s cock in his mouth. Despite his best effort, he can’t take it as deep as he would like, but Steve makes him use his hand to take care of what he can’t swallow. The taste is different than anything he has tried before, but the weight is comfortable in his mouth. Steve then helps him twist his hand just so, making Bucky whimper.“Listen to him. When he likes it, he curses. When he really likes it, he can’t form actual words.” Steve is smiling, even if Bucky makes a disgruntled sound.“Just you wait…” Bucky is breathing fast, making his words come out a little clipped. “Until I have to teach him something Steven… I’ll… Oh fuck… Yes… Ah, don’t stop…”It takes Tony a little time to get the hang of how to move and he has to changes between his hand and mouth a few times, but the sounds that Bucky makes when he get it right is worth it and Bucky does not seem deterred by it. He is gripping Tony’s hair and makes small begging sound every time it seems that Tony is going to slow down. Tony had quickly come to adore those sounds and may slow down a few times just to hear it. When he starts doing it on purpose, he sees Steve smile out of the corner of his eye.When Bucky’s breathing changes slightly, Steve pulls Tony off. Bucky comes over his hand and Steve grabs him by the wrist, then licks his fingers clean and it’s Tony’s turn to make begging noises.When Bucky gets his breath back, he changes place with Steve. This time Bucky takes care of Steve, showing Tony what Steve likes with his mouth and hands. Turns out Steve is also partial to Bucky’s metal hand and it turns Tony on to see the hand used like that. No one has touched him since Steve let go of his cock and he is aching for release by now. He can’t help touching himself while watching Bucky work, but not too much. He still wants their hands on him.“Don’t be afraid to tease him with this.” Bucky tells Tony, while caressing Steve’s cock with his hands.“Fuck you Barnes!” Steve hisses, but does not move. His eyes are half closed and his breath is coming hard.“We did me Stevie.” Bucky says, wicked smile on his face, looking at Tony. “He only hates you until it makes him scream.”And Steve does scream, a short while later, coming into Bucky’s mouth. Bucky has no problem swallowing him. Afterwards, he moves up to Steve and kisses him, licking into his mouth like Steve is the only air he needs.“See? You love it.” Bucky says with a smile, when he finally lets go of Steve’s lips.“I love you, idiot.” Steve answers, looking at Bucky with pure adoration in his eyes. Tony pulls back a little, suddenly reminded that the two of them have been together for years already and have been in love for even longer. Tony’s the odd one out, the one that doesn’t belong. Wanting something and getting it are two different things. Wanting someone and loving them, that’s nowhere near the same.Bucky and Steve break the kiss, looking towards Tony at the same time, their smiles disappearing. “What’s wrong Tony?” Steve asks gently, his brow furrowed with worry.“I… I just… I’m not…” You don’t love me. How can he explain that? The words get stuck in his throat.“Hey…” Bucky sits up, reaching for Tony. “Hey baby, it’s okay… You’re doing good… Come here, talk to us…”It’s not a command. It never is. Tony hesitates, wondering if leaving would help in any way. But he can’t make himself go. He can’t bear to be without them, even if it’s not love. So he lets Bucky pull him into an embrace and kiss him softly, almost like he kissed Steve. Tony closes his eyes and tries to let go of the fear. Steve sits behind Tony, kissing his neck. Sitting like this, cradled between them, he can almost believe that this is more than lust or biological desires. Almost.“What happened Tony?” Steve asks again, kissing his shoulder.“I’m not… You… You’ve been together for so long, and I’m… I’m not…” Tony tries. He can’t explain it. He can make a sentence that describes everything he feels, the fear of them leaving, the envy of their love, his own desire to love them.“Just because it’s new doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean anything.” Bucky says, grabbing Tony’s chin and forcing him to meet the storm grey eyes. “Don’t ever think we don’t care about you Tony!”“It’s not love…” Tony whispers, trying to look away.“Maybe not yet…” Steve says, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder. “Give it time sweetheart… We’re not going anywhere…”Tony nods slowly, a little more at ease. Maybe he’s right. Love takes time. And he does feel something more than attraction. Something new. Maybe they feel the same.“We don’t want you to feel left out Tony.” Bucky says, kissing Tony. “I know it must be difficult for you, being the new one in this, but just talk to us. Let us know if you are unhappy. Let us help you.”“’M sorry for ruining the mood…” Tony mumbles. Steve turns him so they are facing each other. “Don’t! Don’t ever apologise for how you feel, Tony, not ever!”“’Sides…” Bucky says, his hands caressing Tony’s chest. “I have ways to fix that.”Tony closes his eyes, letting Bucky touch his body while Steve kisses his neck. He lets out a sigh and the tension and fear from before slowly drains away. They care for him, even if it might not be love. And they are going to stay with him. They want to take care of him. Tony does not need to do anything, does not need to think and he slowly lets go.His mind is fuzzy when Bucky slowly starts licking his cock and he leans into Steve a little more. Steve sucks a mark into his neck and intertwines their fingers, giving Tony something to hold onto as Bucky swallows him down and Tony starts to moan.There is no teasing for him, just Bucky’s patient mouth and experienced tongue. The cloud does not leave his mind as he comes, just lets him fall deeper into the soft, relaxed feeling. Steve is petting his hair and Bucky gets a warm washcloth to clean them after. Tony is pliant in their hands, letting them move him as they see fit. He is drifting and too far gone to care anymore. At some point, he falls asleep.When he wakes up, it’s because he is hungry. The room around him is dark. There are strong arms holding him, one made of metal. Bucky. But there is no one on the other side of the bed. Morning then. Steve must be out on his run.Tony stretches slowly, still feeling a little drowsy, but he also know that hunger will win out soon. The arms around him tighten for a moment, then he feels a kiss on his cheek.“’Mornin’ Tony. How do you feel?”Tony opens his eyes, looking at Bucky with a smile. “’M good… Hungry though…”“No fucking wonder.” Bucky sits up slowly. “You fell asleep before we could get back to dinner.”Tony laughs, but it turns to a surprised yelp when Bucky picks him up from the bed and carries him to the kitchen. He is wearing boxers and sweatpants, but have no memory of putting either on.Steve comes back in the middle of breakfast, kisses both of them and heads to the shower.Afterwards Tony convinces them to go to his workshop, so he can work on Bucky’s arm. He wants it done for the gala.The following days are a lot like that. Steve and Bucky both take time off from work to be with him. They spend most of the days in the workshop, with Tony working and Steve drawing. Bucky moves between asking about Tony’s work, sitting still so Tony can work on his arm, playing with the bots and reading.The day before the gala, Bucky leaves to get their uniforms and Tony spends the time finishing the arm, so it’s ready for when he gets home. The new arm is sleek, lighter, more nimble and stronger. Tony already has a lot of ideas for how to use it.It takes a little longer than it probably should before Tony notices that Steve has stopped drawing and is staring into space, the pen in his hand tapping the sketchbook rapidly. Tony puts his work down and walks over to him.“Stevie? You okay?” He asks, sitting down next to Steve.“Yeah, I’m… I’m fine.” Steve says with a smile that does not reach his eyes.“Steve…”“Bucky’s been away for a while…” Steve shrugs a little.“It’s only been a few hours.” Tony says, gently taking his hand.“I know… I just… We have all been together here and… I haven’t been this at ease since Bucky… Since he…” Steve stops, his voice breaking. Tony puts a gentle arm around him. “Will you tell me what happened?”“It… It was a mission… Nothing we hadn’t done before, but something went wrong and the wrong people got their hands on Bucky… They left no trace of him and even though we searched the area, there was nothing we could do, no way to find him… He was gone for months and… We thought he was dead… I though he was dead, that he had been killed and I…” Steve takes a shaking breath, blinking teas away. Tony pulls him a little closer. Seeing his dom like this, it makes him like them more, even if it hurts to know the pain Steve had gone through.“We had stopped looking when we found him again, accidently. We were raiding an enemy base and I found a basement filled with prisoners. Mostly civilians, but in one of the back cells… He was alone in there, his arm gone… I’m not sure what… How it happened, what they did to him… He won’t tell me… But I know torture when I see it and I… I stopped looking for him. I’ll never forgive myself for letting him stay there for so long, for letting him suffer like that.” There is a hard note in Steve’s voice now, a pain aimed at himself.“But you found him… He is here now, and he loves you… He know you would never let him be hurt…” Tony says quietly. Steve opens his mouth to answer, but the words drown in a sob. Tony puts his arms around the soldier and pulls him in tight, as Steve cries, grabbing onto Tony’s shirt like it’s the only thing keeping him safe.They are still sitting like that when Bucky comes back. He doesn’t say anything, he just sits down on the other side of Steve and puts his arms around him. Steve breaths a little easier knowing they are both with him, but it still takes a long time for him to stop crying.At some point they go back to the apartment, none of them in the mood for more work. They lie down in bed without talking, just enjoying the closeness and the fact that they are together.

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Changing the arm is a lot of work, but Steve turns out to be a big help and Bucky is surprisingly good at sitting still. Calibrating the arm takes even longer, but when they are done, the arm moves just like Tony wants it to.Unfortunately, they don’t have time for any of the things Tony really want to do with the arm, because they have to get ready for the gala.Tony puts on a very expensive suit, one he is pretty sure he has never worn before. He has a lot of those. He is doing his cufflinks when Bucky and Steve come into the room, both dressed in their uniforms and Tony has to stop to stare at them. He knew they were soldiers, but seeing them like this does things to him. Things they have no time for right now. Things that make both Bucky and Steve smile.“Living up to your expectations Tony?” Bucky asks with a smile. Steve steps forward and helps Tony with the cufflinks while Tony tries to find his voice again.“Yeah… It’s… You look really nice…” Tony finally manages to say. Steve kisses his cheek. “Thank you Tony. So do you.”The car arrives on time, of course. Happy is always on time. And because of Steve, Tony is also on time for once. If Happy thinks anything of the two soldiers flanking Tony, he says nothing. Not even when they sit on either side of Tony in the car.Tony is both very happy and very scared. Bucky and Steve are with him. They want to be with him, to be seen with him. And soon everyone will see them. Everyone will know that the great Tony Stark is a sub. He’ll have to find a way to live with that.For so long, Rhodey was the only one who knew. He had tried to help Tony, but it never really worked out and Tony had made the suppressants. Rhodey did not like the idea, so after a while Tony stopped telling him about it. Now he’ll see, like everyone else. Rhodey is his friend, so Tony is not worried about him. He will understand.Tony is so lost in thought that it takes a moment for him to realise that Steve is talking to him.“Tony? Tony, sweetheart?”Tony looks up at Steve. “Sorry. I was thinking…”“We could see that. Are you okay? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”“I do.” Tony looks from Steve to Bucky. “I’m not ashamed of you or anything, it’s just… No one knew before…”“It must be strange for you…” Bucky gently runs his fingers through Tony’s hair. “But we won’t let anyone give you shit about this, don’t worry. We’ll take care of you, all right?”Tony smiles, leaning into the touch. “I know… I’m really glad… I don’t know what I’d do without you…”“Luckily you don’t have to.” Steve takes his hand with a smile and kisses it.The car stops in front of the hotel where the gala is to be held. They can hear the clamour of the paparazzi outside from a mile away. Tony puts on a dazzling smile and sunglasses, to hide the fact that the smile never reaches his eyes. Steve looks a little uncomfortable, but then the door opens and they have to go into the fray.Steve gets out first, followed by Tony and then Bucky. No one helps Tony from the car. Even if it is normal for doms to do, Tony does not want that. He can handle himself.Cameras flash all around them as they move up the red carpet. Tony smiles and waves, like he always does, but keeps walking. Neither Steve nor Bucky do more than follow him. They might be ready for the world to know, but Tony is not going to parade it around to the press. As it is, the two soldiers could still be his personal guests or bodyguards. They will know the truth soon enough.Just inside the doors, they meet Pepper. She greets Tony with a hug and shakes the hands of Bucky and Steve with a smile. Tony hopes they like her. Pepper is important to him, he wants them to get along.They don’t really get a lot of time with Pepper, as the party has already started. They walk into the grand hall, which is very nice, filled with men in suits or uniforms and women in gowns. Crystal chandeliers glitter above them and sharply dressed waiters are walking around with drinks and hors d'oeuvres. Tony grabs a glass of champagne and drains it, before walking further into the hall. Bucky takes a drink, but Steve just moves a little closer to Tony.A lot of people talk to Tony, but on one really speaks with him. Most have something they want, his money, his mind, his fame. They don’t really care about him. They care about what he can do for them. So he listens and smiles and jokes with them, making no promises and moving on the next one as fast as possible. Several women try flirting with Tony, making Bucky move closer to him and send them a warning glance. They move away very fast after that.They are halfway through the room before Tony’s smile becomes real and he speeds up, past a few people trying to get his attention.“Honey bear!” Tony exclaims, hugging his surprised friend. With his work for the military it’s hard to know when Colonel James Rhodes has the time for social events like this. Seeing him always make it more fun for Tony. Usually, he would know beforehand. He would have asked Rhodes about it several times, trying to make him come. But with everything that’s happened, he forgot.“Tones.” Rhodes says with a smile, looking at Tony and not seeing Stark. There are very few people who actually see him and he is very grateful for them. “Are you okay? I head what happened, I wanted to go find you.”“I’m fine. Never better.” Tony smiles, but the memory still has him reaching for support. Bucky puts a hand on the small of his back and Steve moves closer to his shoulder. It’s still new, having someone to reach for, but it makes him feel safe. They make him feel safe.Rhodes looks at the two men. “Bodyguards in gala uniforms Tony? That’s new.”“Not bodyguards.” Tony smiles, taking Steve’s hand. “Boyfriends.”Rhodes eyebrows go very high very fast. “Tony, they are both…”“Obviously doms? Yes. And I am obviously not.” Rhodey knows this. He also knows how hard Tony has worked to keep it a secret and avoid doms.“What changed?”“As it turns out, kidnappers don’t really let you keep your stuff when they take you, so I lost my band and… Well… It got bad. Bucky found me, so there was really no hiding it from him. Which was very lucky for me, as he offered to help.” Tony shrugs, trying to ignore the feeling of panic somewhere in the back of his mind. He is better, but remembering is still not pleasant. Steve squeezes his hand and Bucky moves closer, putting his arm around Tony’s waist. It helps. They help. Being close to them chases the panic away.It takes a moment before Tony remembers they were talking to Rhodes and he smiles again. “Oh, by the way, this is Captain Steve Rogers and Sargent James Barnes. Steve, Bucky, this is Colonel James Rhodes, my friend since forever.”They shake hands without letting go of Tony. It seems a little awkward, but no one comments on it. Then Rhodey smiles. “I’m glad you finally found someone to help you Tones. You deserve to be happy.”As a surprise to no one, the soldiers find something to talk about almost instantaneously and Tony just listens to them. He is leaning on Bucky and might zone out a bit. He is almost balanced by now, but being around so many other people is taxing in a way he did not anticipate. He is really glad not to be alone.Dinner is extravagant and long. Tony sits between Bucky and Steve, and he is staring to enjoy the looks people are sending them. Never let it be said that Tony Stark is one to shy away from attention.After dinner people mingle again while the band prepares. Bucky and Steve are talking to Pepper. Tony is happy to see them get along. This might turn out to be a very good thing.Tony leaves the table to get a drink at the bar. He usually drinks a lot more than he has tonight, but for once he does not really feel like getting drunk. He hasn’t felt like that since meeting Bucky and Steve.“Tony Stark. What a grand surprise you are.”Tony turns towards the voice, schooling his features into a smile he does not feel. “Justin Hammer. Have you come to ask for some of my surprises, since you seem to have none left yourself?”Hammer smiles like a shark and stops next to Tony. “Always the joker. Seems like you are the joke this time. The great Tony Stark is a sub. How are you even allowed to own a company?”“Stark Industries does not discriminate based on gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation or anything else.” Tony says easily, moving to step around Hammer and leave.“Stay here Stark.” It’s a command. It’s a command and everything in Tony stops. He hates this. He hates that someone else can take control like this. It’s usually not acceptable to command anyone who is not your sub, but Hammer was never big on social conventions.It’s only then Tony notices how far away everyone else is. They are mostly hidden behind the bar and there is no one but him and Hammer.“You are going to stay here with me Stark. We are going to have a chat.” Hammer steps in front of him, blocking Tony from the rest of the room. “I want you to tell me about all the fun things Stark Industries is making right now.”It’s a command. It’s that tone of voice, that look in his eyes, that makes Tony open his mouth without thinking. No words come out yet, but Tony can only resist for so long.“Come on Stark. Tell me. What are you working on right now?”“A-arm…” Tony croaks. Bucky’s arm. He made that. He is proud of it, but he does not want Justin Hammer to know anything about it. He tries to close his mouth.“What arm? Be specific.”Hammer is standing very close to him. Tony is shaking by now. He wants to leave, to hit Hammer, to scream. Anything but this. Anything but being helpless.Hammer is standing between Tony and everyone else. His voice drowns out all other sounds. Black is starting to creep into the edges of Tony’s vision, but he can’t look away from Hammer’s hard eyes.Hammer is standing right in front of Tony. And then he isn’t. There are other sounds now, but they seem far away. Someone is grabbing his arm.“Tony! Look at me Tony.” It’s a command, but the voice is different. Soft. Kind. Tony looks in the direction of the voice and sees stormy blue eyes looking at him with worry. “Hey Tony. Come back to me. Come on sweetheart, there you go.”There is a hand around his neck and an arm around his waist. That’s a good thing, his legs feel wobbly and he is afraid he would fall on his own. Someone is shouting nearby, but it’s not aimed at him and he can’t understand the words yet.“You fought him, didn’t you Tony? I’m so proud of you doll, you did so good. It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you. No one is going to do that to you again. You’re safe.”The world is starting to make sense again. Bucky is holding him, petting his hair and talking to him. Hammers control is gone. And Steve…Bucky might have a metal arm, but Steve is the one who is truly terrifying. He is furious and shouting at Hammer, while Rhodes is holding his arm. Tony realises that Steve might actually hit Hammer, if Rhodes were to let go. He doesn’t, but Steve does not slow down until the police shows up and take Hammer away. Bucky stays with Tony, holding him and talking calmly to him until his body stops shaking.Tony leans on Bucky, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. He is safe. Bucky found him again. Maybe Bucky will always find him. He likes the thought.“You figured that out a lot faster than I did. “Rhodey’s voice. Sounds like he is standing next to Bucky.“Figured what out?” Bucky’s voice is low, not wanting to disturb Tony.“How to handle him. What he needs.” Rhodey is talking about Tony. It’s okay. Tony trusts him. Rhodey won’t say anything bad about him. “It took me months to figure him out and I could never calm him down like that.”Bucky doesn’t answer. His right hand is around Tony’s neck, grounding him. Steve has stopped yelling. Hammer is gone. Tony is safe. And yet…“I want to go home…” His voice seems very small, but Bucky hears him. “We will sweetheart. Car’s on its way. Just a little longer.”It takes less than five minutes, then Bucky guides Tony from the hall. Rhodey gives him a hug and Pepper kisses his cheek before they leave through a backdoor, avoiding the paparazzi still outside. Steve opens the door for them and Tony sits between him and Bucky on the way back. They sit closer than on the way out and Tony burrows down between them, needing the safety of their presence. Tony is not fully aware of how they get from the car to his apartment, but they do. Bucky and Steve are doting on him, talking sweetly and touching him gently. He drops in and out of awareness but he is okay with that. He feels safe and cared for. He is not alone. They found him.He wakes up in the bed, nestled between the two of them. Steve is drawing and Bucky is reading. Steve is the first to notice. “Hey Tony. How are you feeling?”Tony sits up slowly. He’s in a soft tee shirt and sweatpants. “I… I’m okay… I… Why are you still awake?”Bucky puts his book on the nightstand. “We wanted to be awake when you came to. We needed to make sure you were okay.”“Oh…” Tony looks from one to the other. They didn’t need to stay up for him, but he is glad that he did. “What time is it?”“It’s about 3 in the morning.” Steve puts his sketchbook away as well. “Are you sure you are okay? We know you hate commands and that… That man…” Steve says the word like a curse. “That man had no right to command you.”“I… I’m glad you found me…” Tony says quietly, leaning into Steve, who puts his arms around him. “I’m okay now… With you…”“We will always find you Tony. Always.” Steve puts his hand around Tony’s neck and looks into his eyes. Tony smiles and puts his forehead against Steve’s. “Thank you…”Steve kisses him softly. “You know… I don’t think I like public Tony Stark…” he says. Tony looks up, worried and suddenly afraid. But Steve is smiling at him and there is something in his eyes that chases the fear away. “But private Tony… Our Tony… I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him…”For a moment, Tony can’t breath. Love is big and dangerous and scary. Love makes him vulnerable and insecure and Tony has no idea how to handle it. And still. And still, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him.“But I… How… How long?” Tony asks, his voice breaking a little.“A while… Before you bought it up I think… But I wanted to be sure. I had to be sure.”Tony swallows. Then Bucky puts a hand on his cheek and turns his head. “I feel the same Tony… I love you too… I know it’s fast, and you don’t have to say anything yet, but -”“No, I do.” Tony cuts him off, suddenly afraid that he won’t be able to tell them. They need to know. He needs to tell them. “I love you. Both of you. I need you. I can’t… I can’t function without you anymore…”Bucky smiles and kisses him, long and lovingly. “Good. ‘Couse we aren’t leaving.”Tony leans into Bucky, kissing him and licking into his mouth. Bucky’s arms are around his waist and Tony grabs his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer. They are his and he wants them, needs them. He needs to feel them closer than clothes allows.Hands on his back, under his shirt, tell him that Steve is getting with the program. He lifts his arms so Steve can remove his shirt and turns his attention to getting Bucky undressed.In no time all three of them are naked and in a pile on the bed. Tony pays a lot of attention to Bucky’s arm, to the scars where metal makes way for flesh. The attraction of his own creation on his lover’s body has only become bigger as he got to know that body. He pays attention to Steve’s hands, the surprisingly gentle artist hands that he has come to enjoy so much. In turn, they pay attention to him, giving him as much physical contact as they can. Today, it’s not enough.“I… I want… More…” Tony stops moving, looking at the soldiers. They are flushed, sweaty and ruffled. They are beautiful.“Yeah?” Steve sits up a little. “You sure?”“Yes… I want more… Please… I’m ready…” They have talked about this. They have explained it. They have done it with him watching and he liked the way they moved together, the sounds they made, the way they had made the bed creak so much that Tony had reinforced it the next day. He liked watching them, but he has not felt ready until now.Steve gets out of bed and goes to his pack on the floor. Bucky smiles and kisses Tony like a drowning man coming up for air. Then Steve comes back with a small bottle and slicks up his fingers. He places his hand on Tony’s back, touching but not penetrating yet.“If you change your mind, tell me. We’ll stop.” He says, kissing Tony’s shoulder. In the end, that is what turns him on the most. It is always his choice. They never make him do anything, they let him set the pace. That’s not normally how doms work. They are meant to take control, to command. But no one commands him. They ask and listen.“I’m ready…” He says again, then makes a surprised sound as Steve slips a finger into him. It’s a little odd, but not unpleasant. Steve is patient and gentle, letting Tony get used to the unfamiliar stretch before adding another finger. Then he does something with his fingers that make Tony jerk and bite down on Bucky’s shoulder. He is beginning to understand why they like this.“How are you feeling Tony? You like this?” Bucky asks, holding Tony still and kissing his neck.“Yes… It… Oh fuck… Feels good…” Tony gasps, as Steve adds another finger. Tony’s own fingers are digging into Bucky’s skin, but the soldier just kisses him again.“Just wait, it gets better.” Bucky says.But then Steve removes his fingers and that is defiantly not better. Tony whimpers a little because of it, making Bucky laugh. They turn Tony around, so he is face to face with Steve and when Steve slowly lowers Tony into his lap, he feels a new kind of stretch. He hisses a little, but Steve is still very patient and strong enough to hold Tony up for as long as he needs.When he is finally sitting in Steve’s lap, they are both breathing hard. Steve is not moving, giving him time to get used to the feeling. Bucky is running a hand up and down his back, making him relax.Then Steve starts to move and Tony lets out a loud moan. Steve is hitting something that makes his entire body quiver with pleasure with every thrust and he realises that he won’t last long like this.Bucky is next to them, watching them and kissing them. When his metal hand caresses Tony’s cheek, Tony takes the fingers into his mouth, sucking like they thought him. He likes the taste of the cold metal, the feeling of it. And he really likes the way Bucky’s eyes go a little unfocused and glassy when he does it. He never knew he could make a dom look like this. It’s almost better than the feeling of Steve inside of him. Almost.He bites down on the fingers when Steve starts moving a little faster, but they are metal and have no give, so he stops quickly. Bucky’s free hand is wrapped around his own cock, stroking in time with their movement.Tony comes with Bucky’s fingers in his mouth and Steve’s cock in him, shaking as Steve holds him through it. Steve comes a moment later and then Bucky. They lay down on the bed, Steve pulling out of him and removing a condom Tony had no idea about. Bucky get a washcloth and clean him without Tony really helping. He is drifting pleasantly and they let him. When they lay down on either side of him, Tony is almost asleep already.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The time that follows is pleasant and peaceful. Days are spend in the workshop where Tony makes or adjust things, Steve draws and Bucky reads. The nights are spent together, exploring each other.But reality is creeping in. They all have to go back to work sometime. Tony is worried about how much it will change when they start to be busy.Bucky brings it up a few days after Tony has started thinking about it, but he could never ask.“Tony, I was thinking… How would you feel about us moving in with you? I know it’s soon, but we are almost never in our apartment anyway and your apartment is big enough for all three of us."“I… Yes… That would be good… I mean…” Tony takes a breath, collecting his thoughts. He is not nervous, he is happy. He has tried to find a way to ask them for a while, but he could never formulate it. “I would like to live with you, here. All of us.”Bucky smiles and kisses him. It’s a good thing they understand him even when he makes no sense.Moving means that they have to go back to Steve and Bucky’s apartment and pack up their stuff. Tony helps and pays for the movers, getting them settled in a few days. It feels right. His apartment is no longer too big or empty, it is filled with life and love.Then they have to go back to work. Tony has to attend some meeting, Pepper claims, so he does. For the first week, either Bucky or Steve accompanies him, standing right behind him and staring daggers at anyone who try to treat him different. As it turns out, having two very protective soldier boyfriends is a very good way to avoid harassment.Then Bucky and Steve go back to work too and that’s worse. They manage well enough, but it’s clear that Steve is having a hard time being away from Tony for most of the day. It’s not as bad as being away from Bucky, but it’s still not good.In the end, Tony makes a small communications device for each of them, so they can always talk to each other. Most of the time, Tony leaves it on, talking to Steve and Bucky while he is working. They don’t always listen, but it’s okay. He likes knowing that when they turn it on, they can hear him. And it helps. Steve is less anxious when he gets home and Bucky enjoys Tony’s jokes while at work.It’s a life Tony can get used to. He feels better than he has in a long time, his company is doing well and his boyfriends are as happy as he is.There are clouds in their perfect sky. Some more threatening than others. They have been living together for a few weeks when Tony first experiences it.It had been a bad day at work. A mission had gone awry and several people had been hurt. Non dead, thank God, but still a bad outcome. The bad guy had even gotten away. Tony does his best the cheer the soldiers up, but he was coming to learn that on days like these, it was better to give them time.Tony falls asleep on the couch, not really wanting to leave them to their fuming. He wakes up to Steve’s voice, too loud and very worried.“Bucky, you need to calm down, please! It’s me. Please baby, listen to me.”Tony opens his eyes. Steve is standing in front of Bucky, who looks terrified. Worse, he looks at Steve like he does not even know him.“Steve, wha -“ Tony sits up on the couch, fear flooding him.“Tony, stay back!” It’s a command. Steve rarely commands him to do anything, it’s one of the reasons Tony loves him. But this is a command. Tony would be angry, if Steve did not look so frightened. So he stays where he is, watching them.Bucky looks ready to bolt or fight. Almost like the only reason he is still there is because he has yet to decide which to choose. Steve is in a fighting stance, cautiously keeping himself between Bucky and Tony. He seems afraid to move, afraid to make it worse than it is. His voice is gentle and low. “It’s me baby. You’re home. Come back to me, Buck, please.”Time seems to stand still for a long time where no one moves. Tony is holding his breath. Steve has told him about this, of course. Bucky was held captive for months, tortured and damaged in more ways than one, and that has left its mark. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s very dangerous. Both for Bucky and everyone around him.When Bucky finally moves, it’s faster than Tony can follow. He moves forwards towards Steve, hitting him with his left arm, his metal arm, sending the other man slamming into the wall. Steve slides down to the floor, half dazed, and it’s enough to break the command. Tony jumps from the couch, putting himself in front of Bucky.It’s more than a little terrifying. Bucky is a lot bigger than Tony and a lot stronger too. Tony is no fighter. He made Bucky’s arm, he knows exactly how much force it can hit him with. But this isn’t happening because Bucky is angry or violent or because he wants to hurt them. It’s happening because he is scared out of his mind and Tony has to help him.“Bucky…” Tony says slowly, holding both hands in front of him. Bucky stops, watching him with wary eyes. “Just… Just breathe a moment, okay? You are safe… It’s just us… No one is going to hurt you, never again, okay? It’s just me and Stevie…”Bucky is watching him intensely, and Tony is not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but he keeps going, hoping some of his words will reach through the fear.“I know you’re scared, I know. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but it’s over now love. It’s over, you are home, you are safe.”Bucky is still wary, but he is not moving. Tony takes a careful step closer, encouraged by the fact that Bucky has yet to attack him. By the wall, Steve is sitting up, but not doing more. Not yet. Tony has no doubt that he would react fast if Bucky were to attack. He really hopes it would not come to that.“Tony…” Steve is worried. Tony holds a hand up to silence him. He is not afraid anymore. He knows this will work. He knows it, like Steve and Bucky know that Tony needs praises and affection, not commands. Like he knew that being able to talk to Bucky all the time would help Steve’s anxiety. He knows that Bucky needs this.“You are safe Bucky… You are safe and loved here with us… I need you to remember that, to remember me… You promised to protect me, remember? I will protect you too…”They are close now, close enough for Tony to reach out and grab Bucky’s hands. Bucky is still scared, but his eyes are fixed on Tony and he is listening. There is something in his eyes, almost like recognition.“It’s just me… It’s gonna be okay… Breathe with me, okay? Focus on me… I’m right here, we’re together… You are safe…”There is a moment where nothing happens. Then Bucky blinks, his eyes focusing on Tony with confusion instead of fear. “T… Tony?”“I’m here love. I’m always right here.”Bucky’s knees buckle under him and Tony follows him down to the floor, putting his arms around him as Bucky start to cry. “Shhh… Shh, it’s okay… I’m here, you’re safe… You’re okay…”“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I… Steve?!” Bucky pulls back, looking around in panic. Steve gets up and over to them quickly, putting his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I’m here Buck. I’m here, I’m fine.”“I… I hit you… Steve, I –“ Bucky looks terrified again, but this time he know exactly why.“It’s okay Buck. I’m not hurt. Shhh… It’s okay…” Steve says, putting his arms around both Bucky and Tony. Bucky huddles up against them, closing his eyes. His breath is still uneven and tears run down his face. He keeps mumbling apologies for a long time even with both Steve and Tony assuring him that he does not need to.When Bucky is breathing somewhat evenly again, Steve and Tony helps him stand and lead him to the bed. Tony is usually in the middle, needing the attention more as a sub than the doms do, but tonight they make an exception and place Bucky between them.“I’m sorry…” Bucky whispers again, hiding his face in the pillow. Tony gently runs his finger through his hair. “It’s okay… It’s over now… I’m just glad you listened to me…”“And you listened pretty quickly today.” Steve smiles and kisses Bucky gently. “Usually it takes a lot longer for you to come back. Seems you listen more to Tony than to me.”Bucky sits up, still looking frightened. “It’s not… I don’t love him more… I… I love both of you, I…”“Easy Buck. Nobody thinks that.” Steve is still smiling and Bucky calms down again. “But we should acknowledge that Tony did better than I normally do. Do you have any idea why?”“Tony’s not a threat…” Bucky says very quietly, making his lovers look a little confused.“What du you mean?” Tony asks. He thinks that maybe he should be mad at the comment, but Bucky still seems so fragile and small. And Tony knows he’s no soldier. Not like they are.“It’s… Steve is a fighter… When I get scared, I don’t see him, I just see… Someone who could fight me… Someone who could wrestle me to the ground and hold me… But Tony, you… You don’t stand like you want to fight me… You just… Looked at me… I think… I think it made it easier to hear you…” Bucky is not looking at either of them. Steve gently lifts his hand. “It’s okay baby. I understand. I can see why you would feel that way. I’m not mad. I just want you to be safe.”Tony is just listening, playing absentmindedly with Bucky’s hair, until Bucky turns his sad grey eyes on him. “I’m sorry I scared you…” he whispers.Tony smiles and kisses him lovingly. “Don’t worry. I’m actually glad it happed like this the first time. Steve was here, I knew he would protect me if he had to. I mean… I’m not happy it happened, but…”Bucky finally smiles a little, taking his hand. “I know what you mean… I… I’m glad you are still here…”“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” Tony says vehemently and kisses Bucky again.They stay in bed together all night, tangled as close as they can be. Tony is not sure Bucky sleeps a lot, but he seems more relaxed in the morning. Steve stays home with them and skips his run for once and they end up spending the day in bed. By the end of the day, Bucky is smiling and joking again and Tony feels better.The next day they go on a picnic in the park. Tony has not been on a picnic in ever, but he finds that is can be a really nice experience with Steve and Bucky. Almost every experience is nice with Steve and Bucky.Tony still does not believe in a True Bond. Or soulmates. But he doesn’t need to. What they have is enough.They are a mess. They all have nightmares sometimes. Tony is still afraid of being left and alone. Steve gets anxiety if he does not know where the others are for too long. Bucky sometimes panics unexpectedly, becoming a danger to anyone other than Tony.But they are together and for the first time that he can remember, Tony is well and truly happy.