Work Text
It happened in an afternoon, I was walking like a wacky waving inflatable tube man at the neighborhood, I was wearing one of my link tunic related sweater, suddenly I tripped to the floor and I fall and roll around like a barrel from donkey kong and then I fall again.I stood up, and I saw a garage sale,but there wasn’t anyone or anybody,I saw that the stand was filled with old x-men comics, that punisher comic with wolverine as a cameo(I will give this comic to one of my pals), some vhs tapes and some game cartridges, but the one caught me the attention, there was a NES cartridge without the sticker and the word:``dr Jekyll and mr hyde´´, I screeched like a raptor, my eyes went to see that cartridge, I looked at both sides if everyone was there, so I took the cartridge and some comics.As I returned to my home, I put the cartridge in the oven and the hotpocket into my NES-101, wait..,that´s wrong, so I put the hot pocket in the oven and the cartridge into my NES-101 with the NES max controller, and I turned on the console, I play the game.What the fuck is this bullshit?!, this game is absolutely whack!, this is frustrating, I know why this game sucks!As I turned off the console,threw that cartridge and taking the hotpocket from the oven, I put on the NES-101 one of my favorite games: Zelda II: the adventure of link.As I began playing as usual, everything was ok, I went to one of the palaces during the game, hours later(because im good at it), I encountered with one of the bosses, I didn’t knew that it was so hard to me, and suddenly I got the game over screen.Wait, this ain´t ganon.I turned off my nes again, and I turned on again, but this screen appeared…What the hell does that mean?, anyway,so I began to connect my gamecube to play ``soul calibur 2´´ and began to play the arcade mode with link from ocarina of time, everything was also okay, but during the fight against aztaroth in the final battle, the screen began to glitch and static come out. but there was one thing that made me turn off the gamecube,it was this.I turned off my gamecube, and while eating my hottopocketo and I turned on my ps2 to play van helsing, as I started the first level, I realized that, that nes cartridge that I picked started to levitate and rustle.I didn’t care about that and I continue playing.During the night, while I was sleeping on the sofa, I heard some noises at 3 am, I woke up in fear, and I saw the cartridge floating,staring at me.I screamed, I jumped out of my bed and I threw myself into one of the windows and I roll like a barrel and no one will stop me.The next day I talked to one of my friends about the cartridge, she said:``do you remember him?´´, actually I don’t remember him and I had forgot how he looked like, it’s been a while since what happened, so I returned to my home with my friend.I showed to her that cartridge, she asked me ``did you open it to see what´s wrong´´, I replied that no, but she picked some tools that I had, I placed my NES cartridge on the table, I started to unscrew the cartridge, I asked her of why about this, she told me that she saw on the news that some guy found drugs on his NES cartridge, as I opened my cartridge, I saw that there was some dark purple-ish mixed with black tar-like liquid, my friend looked amazed, I was wondering what it was, so I smell it.``it smells like vanilla´´,I said.``It seems that´s castoreum´´, she replied.``what´s that?´´,I asked.``is the ass gland of the beavers´´.``what, so that means…´´``that this game came out at the back of a beaver´s ass, not an ordinary beaver, a demonic beaver; we have to go at the park´´I have heard my friend´s advise and we went to that big park with its giant row of statues of monsters who did important thing like us, yeah there’s some statues of us in that park, mine is next to the now destroyed bust statue of a woman wearing a helmet like athenea.We saw a hooded statue with its hands like if he was asking for something, I looked to the left to see that academy like thing that she conquered with the goth people of antcornu long ago(the extraordinary massacre)``well lets puts this to see if this works´´, she put the cartridge in the hands of the statue, then the cartridge started to rustle violently, it began to float while rustling very violently, then the cartridge began to scream like those zombies from call of duty black ops zombies.We both screamed, and then the cartridge started to shoot lasers!She said:`im gonna end this, in my style!´´.Then she pulled out a stop octagon(like that one from jack black in that sesame street episode), then she started to hit that evil cartridge.``Health bar in your face! Feel the love of the Hyper Combo! And I’ts a Home Run! This is the Hyper combo!.After she made that homerun, she said:``so long gay bowser!´´.Glad it was over, I looked at her.-``gee pal, your game was so bad, look at this´´Then she showed the box art -``why his right eye is…-``just also look at the back of the boxart´´-``dude, thanks for the punisher/wolverine comic´´After that, she said:``so, you want a pizza?´´I said: sure.And then my games came back to normal.The end.