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Only Us“You lied,” Emma folded her arms, looking her friend in the eye.“I don't know wh-” Regina began but Emma interrupted.“Yes you do,” She said, stepping closer to Regina as they both thought back to the same moment. The night they had never spoken about.“To getting Henry back,” Regina smiled at Emma, lifting her glass of cider and they clinked glasses.“And having something other than Hook's revolting rum to drink,” Emma joked as they downed their drinks.“I wouldn't have thought you'd mind Hook's rum,” Regina commented, putting her glass down. “You two seemed to be getting pretty cosy.”“I don't know about that,” Emma sighed, placing her empty glass next to Regina's. “I shouldn't have kissed him. Emotions were running high, it was stupid.”“He seems pretty besotted by you,” Regina told her, looking Emma in the eye.“I don't know,” Emma shrugged. “There's someone else that I like.”“Neal,” Regina said, wondering if she really would choose Henry's father over the pirate.“No,” Emma told her to Regina's surprise. “I thought maybe, but there's someone else.”“Who?” Regina asked curiously. “Do they like you?”“You tell me,” Emma breathed before leaning in and they brushed lips softly before Regina pulled away quickly.“Miss Swan, that was completely ina-”“I'm sorry,” Emma interrupted, standing up. “I just thought-”“Well you thought wrong,” Regina said, though her heart was racing as she ran a hand through her hair. She had no idea what was happening. Emma Swan had just kissed her. And she had enjoyed it. No. It couldn't be. She couldn't like Emma Swan. Not like that. “You should go.”“I'm sorry,” Emma repeated, blush flooding her face. “I'm sorry.” Then she ran from the room, leaving Regina to wash their empty cider glasses.“I was an idiot to let you go,” Regina admitted, moving closer to Emma. “You're right I did lie.”“You aren't happy for me,” Emma stated, looking into Regina's eye.“You deserve better,” Regina replied, wishing that she could do something to go back to the night of the kiss and change things.“And you think that you're better than Killian?” Emma asked, then realised what she was implying. “I didn't mean it like that. I just mean, you've both had darkness in the past and you've both overcome them.”“I didn't say that I deserve you,” Regina told her. “Do I want you?” She paused, before allowing herself to admit the truth. “Yes, but I know I don't deserve you.”“I gave you a chance,” Emma had to swallow hard before speaking. “You tossed it away.”“I was an idiot,” Regina shrugged, not able to offer an explanation. “I was scared.”“I know,” Emma sighed, and she did truly believe that Regina wanted her now. She had moved on. She was with Killian now. They were going to get married. She couldn't do this.“You and Robin seem happy,” Emma commented watching Henry run up the stairs to his room to grab his bag for staying at Emma's. “As do you and Hook,” Regina replied, and though neither of them mention it, they both knew the other was thinking of the kiss. They had never spoken of it. It was easier that way. Just pretend it had never happened. Emma had moved on with Hook and Regina with Robin. Emma paused before asking the question she had been wanting to ask for a while. “Do you love him?”“Excuse me?” Regina asked, but they both knew the hidden depth behind the question. She knew Emma was really asking if she regretted letting her go that night.“Robin, do you love him?” Emma asked, both of them staring into each other's eyes. Regina swallowed before answering, trying to keep her tone firm and unwavering.“Of course I do,” She replied and she could have almost fooled Emma.
Almost.
“You can't expect me to drop everything now though,” Emma told her. “I never thought you were going to admit your feelings. You wouldn't have if we hadn't got engaged.”“I'm sorry,” Regina whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “After I let you go, I saw you with Hook... and it just.”“You got with Robin to make me jealous,” Emma finished and Regina nodded softly. “You nearly had me convinced.”“Nearly,”“You lied when I asked if you loved him,”“Yes,” Regina agreed, blinking rapidly to stop any tears from falling. “Like I said, I was an idiot.”“And now you've stopped being an idiot, I've moved on,” Emma sighed.“Robin only just died, you aren't thinking straight,” Emma insisted, taking a step back from her best friend. “I am!” Regina objected, closing the gap between them once more.“Look Regina, we shouldn't,” Emma whispered. “You know that. Killian and I-”“Of course,” Regina whispered. “I hope you and the pirate are happy.”“Reg-” Emma called, but Regina had already flicked her wrist and disappeared in a puff of smoke.“You moved on long before now,” Regina said. “I tried-”“Once,” Emma began. “Whilst you were still grieving Robin. I was not just someone to fall back on when you ha-”“That is not fair Miss Swan,” Regina interrupted.“No,” Emma said simply. “But things never are.”“I should go,” Regina sighed eventually. “Goodbye Miss Swan.” She whispered, before leaning in and their lips brushed softly. Emma wanted to pull her in and kiss her more passionately, but she knew once she did she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She was with Killian now. She couldn't do this. As she pulled away from Regina she saw a single salty tear run down Regina's cheek.“Goodbye Madam Mayor,” She whispered, closing her eyes, to try to preserve the memory of the kiss in her mind. When she had opened them again, Regina had gone.
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“Oh Emma,” Mary-Margaret sighed happily as she made a slight adjustment to her daughter's hair. “I'm so happy for you.”“Thanks,” Emma smiled though butterflies were swarming here stomach. And they had nothing to do with the wedding. She couldn't stop daydreaming about that kiss. Those last words from Regina. Goodbye Miss Swan. Maybe she had been an idiot to let her go. She was going to be happy though. Her and Killian would be happy together.She had no idea what their marriage would mean for her and Regina's friendship. She hoped they could still be at least friends. She didn't know what she'd do without Regina. She had been there for her in her darkest of days. She had been the one she trusted with the Dark One dagger. Regina had been the one that she became the Dark One for. She hadn't been able to bear watching Regina get attacked by the darkness. It was like she had said at the time, Regina had worked too hard to have her happiness destroyed.Regina smiled at her son as she adjusted his tie slightly. Despite the smile on her face, Henry could tell something was up. Something had been up since she had found out that Emma was engaged. Regina turned away, biting her lip and tasting blood. Good. The pain from her lip would distract her from the pain of today. People always say that it's worse to be rejected by someone than never know if they wanted to be with you. She wished she didn't know. All she felt was numb. It was all she had felt since that kiss.Today was Emma's day though. If either of them deserved to be happy, it was Emma, not her. Emma and the Pirate would be together and have their happy ending. Regina...would survive. She always did. Your heart will find its way to happiness. The words of her stepdaughter filled her head. Just like the first time she had been told that, it no longer seemed possible. Her happiness was marrying someone else. Maybe she was just doomed to a life of solitude. Her first love, Daniel had been killed by her lover. Her second love, if she could even call Robin a love – she had felt something, a connection, but love... it was never love. He had died either way. She felt so guilty about that. He had been besotted by her, but she hadn't felt anywhere near as deeply as he had and he had sacrificed himself for her.Emma turned her head slightly as her parents walked her down the aisle. Regina was standing near the front. Well of course she was. Regina gave her an encouraging smile, but Emma could see the hurt in her eyes. To everyone else it just looked like a friend smiling at her friend on her wedding day, but Emma knew that it was more than that. Much more than that.She turned her head back to look at the man she was about to be wed to. She felt her mum give her arm a reassuring squeeze. Hook smiled at her as she approached.“Do you, Emma Swan, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Archie asked a few minutes later. She swallowed and took a deep breath. She just had to get two words out and it would be done. She would be getting her happy ending. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Regina.“I-” She couldn't get the word out. She couldn't. “I don't.” Then she did what she had always done when things got difficult: she ran.Of course she couldn't literally run. For one thing, she'd probably end up tripping and falling on her face in this stupid wedding dress. Besides, someone – her mum most likely – would try and grab her. She couldn't deal with anyone right now.Regina rose to her feet as Emma disappeared in a puff of white smoke, her eyes wide in surprise. Had Emma really just done that? Absent mindedly, she touched her lip. Where not so long ago they had been touching Emma's in a soft kiss tasting of cinnamon and apples.“Where's she gone?” Mary-Margaret asked, looking around as if she couldn't believe her daughter had just done that.“What did she mean I don't?” Hook asked, sounding angry. Regina stepped forward, clearly slightly annoyed by the Pirate.“I think it's pretty obvious,” She said, her tone hard. “She doesn't want to marry you.”“Mum!” Henry cried out, surprised by the harshness of her tone. Regina looked around and saw everyone staring at her. She realised that she had overstepped the line. It was no secret that Regina and Hook hated each other, but they had always tolerated each other. For Emma's sake.“I'm sorry,” She told Hook, turning back to him. “I'll find her.” She flicked her wrist, thinking of Emma so that she would appear next to her. Of course Emma probably wouldn't want to talk to her. She was probably just being self-absorbed to think Emma would call the whole wedding off because of her.
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“I want to be alone,” Emma said, sensing the presence of someone approaching her. She was sitting on a bench, staring out across the harbour to sea. She had already poofed herself out of her wedding dress, knowing that it was unlikely that she would be going back down the aisle to say 'I do' today.“I figured,” Regina took a seat beside her, looking forward across the harbour. Emma's head span to look at her, not expecting Regina to be the one to come after her.“I didn't do that for you,” Emma said defensively. Though she knew that Regina knew she was lying, or at least partly lying.“Of course you didn't,” Regina agreed, the sarcasm practically dripping off her tongue. She finally turned to look at Emma, unsurprised to find the deep green of Emma's eyes wet. “Talk to me Emma. Please. Tell me what's going in here.” She leaned forward and touched Emma's chest where her heart was.“I think you were right,” She admitted eventually. “I don't think I could ever be truly happy with Killian.”“Then why did you agree to marry him?” Regina asked, wiping away a tear that was running down Emma's cheek with a delicate finger. Emma sighed slightly before answering.“It was easiest,” She replied eventually, looking through wet lashes into Regina's deep brown eyes. Looking in them made her feel... more steady. “Everyone else had their happy endings and I was hoping Killian was mine.”“But you don't believe that he is?” Regina asked.“I thought he'd bring me happiness... but now?” Emma ran a hand through her hand. “I don't think he would. It was just what would make everyone else happy.”“Have you ever considered that you're not responsible for everyone else's happiness?” Regina asked, realising that, once again, Emma had only been talking about what would make everyone else happy.“But I'm the Sav-”“Are your own person and entitled to your own happiness – regardless of what that makes everyone else feels,” Regina interrupted. “How being with the Pirate would make anyone but him happy, but I will tell you this, and I'm saying this as a friend who wants the best for you, not with the hope that you will choose me, you can be with whoever you want to be with. Or no one at all if that's what makes you happy. You may be the Saviour, but that doesn't mean you're not entitled to your own happiness.”Emma paused and thought for a moment. She probably could marry Killian, she could be happy with him. Probably. But she wasn't sure that she truly loved him. Despite what everyone said about them and despite what she had said to him. She wasn't sure that she could ever love him. Not really.Then there was Regina.Yes, maybe she had been slow to tell Emma how she truly felt. But was that really a reason to throw both their happiness away? Emma didn't know. She was too confused. She knew that when Regina had kissed her just a few days ago, she had wanted more. She had wanted to kiss back. She had wanted Regina. She hadn't felt that with Killian. She hadn't felt it at all for a long time. Maybe not even since before Henry when she had Neal.
You may be the Saviour, but that doesn't mean you're not entitled to your own happiness.
Regina's last words rang around her head. Over and over. What would make her happy? Her family would be disappointed and upset if she didn't marry Killian, but why was it their problem? She would be the one who had to put up with him. The one that had to deal with him when he had drunk to much rum. The one who had to put up with him and his annoying little traits. At the end of the day, maybe it did have nothing to do with them.“I don't think I would be happy,” Emma said for the second time, though now she had thought it through properly and truly believed it. “I don't want him. I don't want this life that we planned out.”“Okay,” Regina smiled encouragingly, glad that she was beginning to take charge of her own happiness more. “We should probably go back though, so everyone doesn't think that there's been some disaster and Storybrooke's under attack.” Emma laughed slightly at that. It was music to Regina's ears.“And, I need time to think,” Emma added. “To work out where my heart is leading me.” Regina nodded. She had expected this. Of course Emma wouldn't want her. She had been her parents arch-nemesis once upon a time. “But if it's leading me where I think it is...” She leaned in close to Regina and held her cheek, stroking it gently before lightly brushing lips. “There'll be a lot more of these.”Regina's heart began to beat faster as Emma pulled away. She touched her lip with her fingers smiling. She hadn't been expecting that. She smiled though. It was the first time that they had kissed without one of them running away. Now they both knew what they truly wanted: each other.