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“I tried taking up smoking once. It didn’t last long. Soon as Mama smelled it on me, she put an end to it, then and there.” Barclay tilted his head back, looking up at the canopy of tree branches overhead. “She told me, ‘I have saved your ass from the brink of death on too many occasions to watch you get done in from something that comes in a cardboard box at a drugstore’.”“She smokes too, doesn’t she?” Duck turned his head sideways to face Barclay, who was sitting beside him on the rotting trunk of an old, fallen pine. The moisture from recently melted snow mingled with some sparse patches of cool, dark moss was setting in on the seat of his pants, but he tried not to mind it. He shifted a bit this way, then the other way.“Not all that often. Just when she thinks no one’s gonna see her. She looks so tired when she’s doing it. Like she’s sleepwalking.”“Seems, uh, a bit hypocritical then, as far as I can see.”“What, are you gonna tell her to quit it? I try not to tell her to do anything. I know better than that.”“I suppose that’s fair.” Duck stared down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs. He rubbed his right thumb over his left thumbnail, pinching down on the thumb’s tip with his left index finger. An odd habit, but a familiar one. He took a deep breath, then continued. “I used to smoke. Sometimes cigarettes, usually...Other things. I was kind of a troublemaker back in my day.” He chuckled. “Never thought I’d say those words. ‘Back in my day.’ Makes me feel...old.”“Hey, you’re younger than I am.” Barclay elbowed him.“Am I really?”“Yeah. I’m turning 40 this fall.” Barclay nodded.Duck tilted his head back, laughing.“What? What’s so funny?”“You’ve got it backwards, my friend.” Duck shook his head. “I’m 45.”“No kidding? Huh. You don’t look it.”“Yeah, well, I always had kind of a baby face growing up...Come to think of it, this is the first time in my life I think I look my age. I thought I looked tired before, but after what happened with...”The crickets chirped around them.“Anyhow,” Duck continued, “I think it was all affecting my appearance. I guess, preserving me, or something? Now that it’s over, I’m worried that it’s all gonna catch up with me at once. I’m not ready for that. I used to think I’d live forever. Hell, if we’re being honest, that idea pissed me off quite a bit.”“Living forever?”“Yeah. It’s not for me. Guess I don’t have to worry about all that anymore.” He rubbed his thumbnail with increased force.Barclay noticed a twitch creep across Duck’s shoulders. Like a tremor, rocking through his whole body.“I know where this is going, Duck. Come on, you can’t afford to think that way.”Duck was silent.“It comes with the territory.” Barclay said. “No avoiding that. Think of it like going to the dentist. If you just go on dreading it, you’ll only make yourself feel worse.”“Yeah. Yeah. Guess I’m just getting used to the idea.”“I’ve seen it happen to too many good people, Duck. You’re not the first. You’re not gonna be the last, either. I think…” He took a deep breath. “I think it’s the fear that did some of them in. You see it dig into them. It slows ‘em down. Freezes ‘em up. I’ve seen...I’ve seen things I can’t bring myself to talk about.” Barclay’s breath was shaky now. He cleared his throat. “Sorry. I’m sorry.”“Can I tell you something? I haven’t told anyone else this, so I’d like it to stay between us.”“Sure.”“For...I guess, most of my life, I’ve been scared of the dark.”“No kidding?”“It was a bit of a problem when I started working out here in the forests. I would need a buddy to go along with me at night. At first, I said it was because I hadn’t figured out the maps yet. But I tried to stretch it out as long as I could. Eventually, though, that story didn’t really work. So I had to start going out by myself. I used to have these...panic attacks. Real bad ones.”Barclay whistled. “Damn.”“Yeah.” Duck nodded. “Eventually, I started getting better. I got to know the trails real well, and then sometimes I’d turn off my flashlight and walk them blind. I’d carry around a big stick, and I’d tell myself, if anything comes for me, I’d be ready for it.”“Did it work?”“Sort of. I’m not scared around here anymore. I know these woods better than I know my own house. But I still keep the lights on some nights when I’m at home. Leave the TV running. I’m not a real sound sleeper, anyhow. Never have been.”“Me either.” Barclay sighed. “Can I tell you something? Same deal.”“Yeah, sure.”“...I sleep with a stuffed basset hound sometimes. It’s got these big, floppy ears.”“Has it got a name?”“...Reuben.” Barclay cleared his throat after a moment’s hesitation.“It’s a nice name.”“Promise you won’t-”“Your secret’s safe with me.” Duck clasped a hand on Barclay’s back.“I appreciate that.”The touch lingered long enough for Barclay to wonder whether there would be anything further, but not long enough to make it happen. Duck’s hand fell back down to his side.Barclay snapped his fingers a few times, in front of his face.“What are you doing?”“Lighting a cigarette.” Barclay pressed two fingers to his lips, breathed in deeply, then sighed. He held out the imaginary cigarette to Duck. “Want it?”“Don’t mind if I do.”Rather than taking it from him, Duck leaned in, holding Barclay’s hand to his mouth.Barclay’s breath caught in his chest.Duck exhaled, deep and slow. “Thanks. That helps.”“It’s a little trick I try, when I’m trying to remind myself how to breathe right.” Barclay explained.“Yeah, I get that.”“Yeah.”The two men were silent.“Shoot straight with me, Barclay. Why’d you want me to come out here with you?”Barclay chuckled. “Duck, I’m probably the most nervous person I know. I know it’s funny. Me, the guy who could take off this bracelet at any second, grow three feet, and lift a car. But...I mean, we’ve known each other for a few months now. You know I have...Kind of a hard time getting myself to relax.”“Sure.”“And you’ve been having a rough time of it. You can act like it doesn’t bug you, but you’re scared, Duck. And there’s no shame in that, but...Ever since you lost your powers, it seems like you haven’t let your guard down for a second. And, well, I guess I’m a bit concerned. As one of the leaders of the Pine Guard, it’s my responsibility to make sure you guys are holding it together. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid. But it’s a risk factor, Duck. In our line of work? You gotta be able to turn off the part of you that says ‘hesitate’. Now, I’m not gonna try to tell you not to be scared. That’d be...Well, it’d be like trying to chop down that tree with this rock.” He turned a small stone on the ground over with his foot. “But,” he went on, “you have to train that fight-or-flight moment. You have to make sure fear doesn’t dull your instincts. To do that, you’ve gotta have a clear head. Being scared is natural. But being distracted is dangerous.”“Barclay, bud, I’m really not in the market any more training, no offense. I’ve had just about enough training to last me a few lifetimes.”“I know. I’m not gonna try to train you. You can handle yourself, Duck. I know that. I just wanna make sure you know that. This isn’t a training session. Think of it more like a meditation exercise.”“I didn’t peg you as the meditatin’ type.”“Don’t lie to me, Duck Newton. You’re no good at lying.”“You got me there.” Duck chuckled.“So,” Barclay said, hands slapping against his thighs, “I figured you could use a night just to come out here and relax. And I want you to know that you can talk to me, Duck. I want you to be alright. And I’m not just saying that on a professional level. I mean it personally. I care about your well-being, Duck. And I-”“Listen, I appreciate the pep talk, but let’s go over something real quick. You can turn into a giant, ten-foot forest ape. Y’know what I can do? Get killed. I can do that really, really well. It would be pretty fuckin’ easy.”Barclay took a deep breath in. It was clear he was trying hard to remain calm. “Listen, the Abominations are only getting more and more powerful. I don’t know how much longer we can handle this, if I’m being honest. And that...That’s terrifying, Duck. The idea that we might get to a point where we can’t fight anymore, I...I can’t imagine it. So we’ve got to fight while we still can.”Duck looked down at the ground, avoiding Barclay’s gaze.“Listen,” Barclay went on, “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you, Duck. You stick with me, and I’ll keep you safe. But I need you to have my back. You’re not a liability, Duck. You’re a member of the Pine Guard. And that means it’s your job to help keep Kepler safe.”Duck looked up at Barclay, reading his expression. Despite Barclay’s stern tone, his face was tranquil and patient. Duck looked into Barclay’s eyes and found no trace of judgement or frustration. Just a quiet air of heartfelt concern.Duck pressed an unseen cigarette to his lips, took a deep breath in, and sighed slowly, and heavily.“Alright, fine. I’m in.”Barclay pulled Duck in closer, wrapping a big, burly arm around the older man’s frame. Duck nestled his head in the crook of Barclay’s neck. And for the first time since Minerva’s disappearance, Duck didn’t feel an ounce of fear.