Work Text
Ooh, she got it all planned out
Yeah, I can see it all right now
I'll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back
I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask
I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees
Yeah, she wanna get married
But she don't wanna marry me
A simple white dress would hug her tight. A bouquet of pink roses would be placed in her hands. Sheer fabric would blow from behind her, attached to her long hair by a small crystal clip. Her dad would walk her down as people smiled on either side. But the biggest smile would come from the man waiting at the end for her, me.
The details would change over time as her interests grew and became more precise. But each time she would tell me, i would envision the same man waiting for her. She never specified who she dreamed about. I guess i just hoped that it would be me.
It could have been me. We had been friends for forever. I had been there for her when she found out about her abandonment and adoption, i was there when she made it into the top choir in our school and with every solo she earned. I was the one she called when her father began taking his anger out on her, yelling at her more and more. I was the one to stick up for her when no one else would. While Grayson and his friends played in the yard, she and i would read or watch movies. I fell for her long before i even knew what falling was.
When i made it onto the football team with my my adoptive brother, she went to every game. She would call my name and wave the painted banner that had my name and number. With her pink streaked hair and glowing smile, she would always catch my eye. But, it wasn’t just mine that she caught. I knew that my sweaty, red-headed teammate would flirt with her, but he did that with every girl, and she always brushed it off with a roll of her eyes and a scoff.
After one of the games, we had all gone to the diner to celebrate. She laughed as she sipped her strawberry milkshake, and i couldn’t help but stare. I was too blind to see the glances that she and Wally had made towards one another. I was foolish enough to believe the blush on her cheeks was because of me. Or maybe i was too determined. When we sat at a booth, just the two of us, she had laughed at something and our hands touched, our fingers wove together as i began to lean in. her eyes darted to my lips and she bit hers ever so slightly, a small smile creeping onto them. I smiled and leaned closer.
“Hey Jason,” Grayson had called out from across the diner. My head snapped over to see him grinning, and i knew i wouldn’t hear the end of it.
I never got the chance again that night. And when i was able to build up the courage, it was all torn down within seconds. I was too late. The fast, red-headed prodigy, the best friend of my adoptive brother, the one, the only, Wally West had snatched her up.
Years passed with her bright giggling and dream filled eyes. Years passed where every time i saw them together, a dagger would go through me. Years passed of me still wishing, wanting and waiting for my chance. A chance that would never come. When i got the invite, i knew it was too late.
All i could think was that ‘It was supposed to be me.’ after all these years, it was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be the one to kneel down, to wait for her at the end of the aisle. I was supposed to be the man she loved, the man she would fall for, the one who would spend the rest of his life devoted to making her happy. I should have, but i wasn’t. I wasn't fast enough. The ring was already placed on her finger and her dress was already picked out. The flowers were set up and each detail in her dream was becoming a reality. Everything was perfect, all except one, the groom.
For her, the day came too fast. For me, it came too slow. Before i knew it, i was dressed in my nicest tux, her gift wrapped in one of the banners she had made for my games; one with the names of all our friends, mine and hers close together. I had promised that i would be in the audience, just like every other time, but i couldn’t. My feet searched for her and my chest pounded. I had to find her, get it all of my chest. I had reached the doorknob, my had had touched the cold metal, but i couldn’t. She was happy. I couldn't ruin that.
I slowly backed away, my had grabbing the flask that i had in my pocket. I passed guest after guest as i left, none knowing why.
I heard the bells chime and the shouts and hollers fill the air, but all i could think of was how it should have been me. It should have been, but it wasn’t. And it never will be.