Work Text
~2010~
Alex’s day seems like it’s never going to end. They fix one problem to only find another. You’d think, as a code breaker for the Air Force that he wouldn’t want to go back to his place and sit on a computer all night. But that’s exactly what he does. Something about talking to his online friend eases the aches in his chest. Mainly the ache of missing Michael.
[madblackhatter: Don’t they say distance makes the heart grow fonder? You’ll be fine]
Alex laughs at his computer screen. He doesn’t know how he struck up a tentative online friendship with another hacker on the dark web. But here they are, a couple of months later, after they found each other looking at similar alien related pages, still speaking. And quite regularly at that.
[flyman: I haven’t been home in a couple of years. I don’t think it works like that]
It’s not that he doesn’t
want
to go back to Roswell, and back to Michael. He’s just afraid that too much time has passed.
[madblackhatter: Sure it does]
~2011~
[fm: You don’t like Independence Day?]
[mbh: No I don’t really like alien movies. Weird...I know]
It was weird. Considering how they struck up this online friendship to being with, by bonding over anything and everything alien related.
[fm: What about ET?]
[mbh: Now that one I like. The ending is the best part]
~2012~
Alex doesn’t know when their conversations turned from what they had found online related to the 1947 UFO Crash to more personal things, but here they were three years later, talking about almost everything.
[fm: Why don’t you tell your sister to butt out? It’s your love life]
[mbh: You haven’t met my sister. It’s her mission in life to make sure my brother and I are happy]
[fm: That doesn’t seem so bad]
[mbh: It is when the love of your life left 4 years ago]
Damn. Alex understands that. It’s been four years since he’s spoken to the love of
his
life, Michael. He was home a couple years ago, but he only watched Michael from a distance. Unable to say anything that wouldn’t break both of their hearts.
[fm: I get that]
~2013~
[mbh: How can you
not
like popcorn?]
[fm: It’s not that I don’t like popcorn. Just don’t like going to the movies. And they’re correlated in my mind]
It’s not that Alex doesn’t
like
the movies. He just likes one type of movie. The drive-in back home. Where he and Michael used to go and watch the movies that were playing from the back of Michael’s truck. They always parked at the back, away from everybody. They’d sit huddled in Michael’s sleeping bag away from prying eyes. The smell and taste of the popcorn they would share coming to his mind without his permission. He
misses
it. Misses the way their hands would brush over the popcorn. Misses how they would share one drink and pass it back and forth. Misses how they’d end up staring at each other instead of the movie about halfway through.
[mbh: Don’t like the movies? What is wrong with you?]
[fm: More of a museum person]
[mbh: I can see that. Studying all the displays]
[fm: Yeah you’d think that]
~2014~
[fm: Saw my ex today]
[mbh: What happened?]
[fm: I chickened out. Per usual. Watched from a distance]
[mbh: Don’t be creepy]
[fm: I’m not being creepy!]
[mbh: …]
[fm: Okay. You’re right. I was being creepy. It’s just so hard]
~2015~
[mbh: My sisters getting married]
[fm: That’s good right?]
[mbh: NO. I have to “look presentable” or so she says. I’m a little offended]
[fm: Haha! It won’t be that bad]
[mbh: I have to wear one of those penguin suits. I’m a groomsman]
[fm: I’m sure it’ll be fine. You’ll rock the suit]
Alex wonders, not for the first time what his online friend looks like. Five years of conversations and they still don’t know each other’s names, but Alex will be the first to admit he’s wanted to ask.
[mbh: I guess. Ugh just people in love]
[fm: Still haven’t seen your ex?]
[mbh: No. It’s been 7 years. You’d think I’d be over it]
[fm: Yeah. You’re right. Love sucks]
Alex’s pretty sure he means that. Love does suck. It’s been seven years since he’s spoken to Michael. He only ever watches him from a distance the few times he’s been back to Roswell.
Other than Michael, this is the only person he’s ever been able to open up to. Probably because they’re anonymous and he’s doesn’t have to look at them. While they’ve never shared any personal details, they’ve shared pretty much everything else. Books, movies, likes, dislikes. Favorite places. Least favorite places. His online friend doesn’t care if he goes radio silent for months at a time when he’s on a deployment. Not that they know he’s on a deployment.
Alex should probably start admitting that this online friendship has gotten a little ridiculous. They’ve moved from encrypted conversations within the dark web to actually emailing each other. So they can always keep in touch.
~2016~
[mbh: Pineapple on pizza is delicious]
[fm: You’re a monster]
[mbh: I really thought you had better taste]
[fm: I’m still talking to you aren’t I?]
~2017~
[fm: I’m not saying that First Day of my Life by Bright Eyes isn’t great but I think God of Wine by Third Eye Blind is better]
[mbh: Got a thing for zodiacs Flyman?]
Alex smiles to himself. He does love when they call him by his username. Alex will admit now that this online friendship is officially out of control. It’s been almost ten years since he left Roswell and the only thing that kept him sane while he was in the hospital and the subsequent physical therapy was his online friend.
And now, as he’s getting ready to head back to Roswell, where he’ll inevitably run into Michael, his online friendship has helped him cope with that.
~2018~
[mbh: My ex is back]
[fm: Have you talked to them?]
[mbh: Yeah. Same shit. Different day ya know?]
[fm: Oh I know]
[mbh: You talk to yours at all?]
[fm: Yeah. Briefly. Idk maybe too much time has passed]
[mbh: There’s never enough time when you love someone]
[fm: Yeah tell that to my head and my heart. They aren’t getting along]
[mbh: They’ll get there]
~Present~
Being back in Roswell is throwing him. Seeing Michael, being with Michael, and then ending it again was really driving him crazy. Even though he knows he only has himself to blame.
He’s sitting at the Crashdown enjoying a chocolate milkshake and fries while he works on his laptop. He’s just emailing Madblackhatter when he notices Michael come in with all of his cowboy swagger. He swallows.
They haven’t seen each other since the drive-in and Alex’s heart clenches at the memory.
“Where’s the fire?” Michael asks him out of the blue as he tilts his head to Alex’s fingers flying over the keys of his laptop.
Before Alex can answer he finishes sending his email. He hits send and turns to look at Michael right as Michael’s phone pings. Michael pulls it out of his pocket and he laughs.
Alex raises an eyebrow at Michael.
“Sorry just a friend.” Michael looks sheepish.
“You have friends?” Alex quips back before he can help himself.
“Rude.” Then Michael steals a fry and dips it in his shake without so much as an ask.
“Chocolate’s good but mint chocolate chip is the superior milkshake flavor.”
Alex freezes as Michael walks away without saying anything else. Alex feels like he can’t breathe. He’s only heard one other person say that to him. Ever. Madblackhatter.
Before he even has a chance to freak out he gets an email back from his friend.
[mbh: Just ran into my ex again. Wish it wasn’t so hard]
Alex looks up from his computer screen to see if he can find Michael but it looks like he left. His mind is whirling. Before he thinks about it too much he writes back.
[fm: Did you talk this time?]
[mbh: Kinda? The most normal conversation we’ve had since they got back. They were drinking a chocolate milkshake (you’d be proud) and I told them that mint was the superior flavor]
Alex is really losing his mind. Has he really spent the last eight years talking to Michael?
His
Michael? The things they’ve talked about. The things they’ve shared. He types out a quick reply before he packs up his stuff to head back to the cabin.
[fm: I don’t know how you drink that it’s green]
He doesn’t even know how he makes it back to his cabin in one piece. The whole way back he went through the years of their conversations in his head. Thinking back to how it all started, them talking about alien technology. And now with him finding all the information about his dad and the bunker. His dad’s files on Michael. He can’t breathe.
He opens his laptop again and pulls up their email threads. He reads them all. Every last one. He looks at the date stamps and connects all the dots. Every time he said said he was coming back home to then receive a message along the lines of “saw my ex” or “knew my ex was in town, they didn’t want to see me.”
How he didn’t realize it before is beyond him. The museums, the milkshakes, the aliens, the cowboy references. The quick witted replies. The hours of conversations about music and movies.
The only person he had ever connected with on this level was Michael. So when he found a friend he could also share these things with, he was ecstatic. He came to rely on the steady presence of them in his life, even if it was just through a computer or a phone. Of course it would make sense that Michael was on the other end of these conversations.
He can only think of one thing to do.
~~~
It’s dark by the time he gets to the junkyard. He pulls up next to the trailer and sees Michael sitting outside by the fire drinking a beer.
He gets out of his truck slowly. Stealing himself for a conversation that could change both of their lives. Not just in the “hey we’ve been communicating online in secret for eight years” kinda way either.
“Alex.” Michael gives him a clipped nod. It’s now or never.
“I think I prefer when you call me Flyman.” Alex breathes out. Michael stares at him and the beer slips from his fingers.
Before Michael can say anything Alex continues. “See I didn’t put it together until we were at the Crashdown. But then once I did I went back through all of our conversations and well...it’s really not all that surprising.”
“Not all that surprising?” Michael whispers.
“Yeah. You see. I’ve only ever been open like that with you. So it’s not shocking to me, that when I think I’ve finally found a friend, however unconventional, that it’s also you. I thought it was easy to tell them all of these things because it was a nameless faceless person on the other end, but I think deep down it was easy because they reminded me of you. Of how you always made me feel. I wanted to say these things to you before. But I didn’t know how. I think maybe that’s what we needed. Eight years of communicating without actually communicating. And to think that every time you made me laugh or made me forget the terrible things happening to me that I could breathe easier in a way that you only ever made me feel when we were younger. So yeah. It’s not that surprising.”
Michael nods his head and has a blank look on his face. He finally turns to look at Alex and Alex gasps at the emotion he sees whirling in his eyes. They stare at each other in complete silence for a minute.
Instead of breaking the silence Alex does the only thing he can think of to get Michael to understand. He pulls out his phone and opens their latest email thread.
[fm: Standing in front of my ex. I want so badly to tell him that I love him. That I’ve always loved him. But I’m scared]
He hits send and Michael’s phone pings with a notification. He can see the moment Michael reads what he wrote as his breath catches and his eyes start to water. Michael starts typing a moment later and Alex smiles.
[mbh: Don’t be scared. He loves you too]
Alex gasps and walks over to Michael who stands up from his seat.
“I…” Alex doesn’t get to finish as Michael grabs him and pulls him forward to slam their lips together.