Work Text
The loud sirens of the ambulance combining with the burning heat of the flames as they dance with one another in Yoonbum's ears. The mumbling of the firemen only continue with the thumps of their footsteps as they carry a stretcher with Seungbae in it.Yoonbum glances down at the man, his face distraught by the whole aftermath of the scene, after witnessing what Sangwoo and Seungbae had done. And looking at Seungbae's injured face, blood dripping down the right side of his face, the imprint of the burn that thankfully didn't go no further than the right cheek.Seungbae stares at Yoonbum, slowly says, "Mr. Yoon..." and continues to speak, "don't worry...you'll never have to see him again."Yoonbum can't take it in that easily though, he's still shocked and the way his eyes are widened and one eye slightly slanted, it's significant to how he feels about the words Seungbae says. He of course should know that can't be true. He watches the firemen quickly carry Seungbae towards the ambulance truck, he momentarily waits, as if Sangwoo's going to appear in better shape than Seungbae. Maybe. Yoonbum holds his hands together to comfort himself, to stop whatever thoughts may soon come to pass.He returns his gaze towards the orange hue of the burning building."I can never...see him again...?" He says it like he's questioning the possibility of never seeing Sangwoo again. Like it matters to him, when it shouldn't.Yoonbum watches the flames, as the noises of the hoses engulf the flames like the two could overpower one another, but one continues to flow and the other is merely an attempt to holding it down.The firemen are all hard at work to pushing the fire down in search of getting the last person out of the building. Yoonbum quickly looks down at his hands, now twisting into each other and the clamminess of his hands was uncomfortable but otherwise predicable for his nature.The water hoses continued to hiss, similarly to a rainstorm that never falters, the shouts wake Yoonbum from looking down at his hands."Some help over here!" The man shouted once more, "We have another injured person!"Yoonbum watched as the four men drag out another body onto the stretcher. The clothing on the body was Sangwoo's, the cap that he'd worn stood untouched, the grey pants and black jacket sat messily and crumpled on the body.Yoonbum immediately calls out towards the unconscious body."Sangwoo!"He proceeds to walk towards the stretcher, to his horror, the site he sees. The sweat on his face only fuels his anxiousness and horror.There was blood stained on his clothes, his skin and face appeared to become engulfed with the similar yet more gruesome look that Seungbae had been afflicted with. But then there was the noticable gaping hole of his left cheek, how Yoonbum could see the leftover tissue and to see his teeth without him ever opening his mouth.Oh god, it was horrible.The look Yoonbum has is a mixture of horrified and stunned. His eyes wide like a cat, the way his mouth opens like his breath has been stolen by the bloody body that may as well be Sangwoo.It is isn't it? Haha, no, no, it couldn't be. It wasn't his Sangwoo. That wasn't him. It just wasn't Sangwoo!!He stands frozen until he manages to get the words out of his system."That's...not Sangwoo..." The way he says it with hesitance and an almost innocent denial, it could break his own heart.Yoonbum then runs up towards one fireman and grabs the thick fabric of his suit."E-Excuse me!" He stutters a bit, yet manages to make sure he's heard.The man turns around and looks at him, surprised and taken aback that this person was still here.Yoonbum continues on with what he wants to say."Mister...Sangwoo's still not..." The man interrupts him, "Miss, you need to get out of here! It's not safe!" He presses one hand into Yoonbum's shoulder, lifts his other hand into a gesture that signifies 'go' or 'get out of here'."Go on, get out of here!" The man applies more pressure to Yoonbum's shoulder.Yoonbum tries to get the man to listen."Ah...b-but...wait!" The man still persists on sending Yoonbum to safety, away from the area."Come on you need to hurry!"Yoonbum's starting to get a little irked by the man, especially for not listening to him."Listen...to me..." Yoonbum suddenly slaps the man's hand away from his shoulder, then starts to shout."SANGWOO IS STILL INSIDE!!" His voice comes out more agitated and upset than before."SANGWOO...!" he screams once."SANGWOO!!" he screams, again, maybe more desperately.And his last attempt to get the man's attention."SANGWOO IS... still...!!" Yoonbum slouches down, he catches his breath with a few huffs. The shouting really exhausted him...but at least it got the man's attention!"Calm down! Someone's still in the house?" The man asks, confused."We've got everyone who was inside."Yoonbum could not believe it. No. No."No...no..." Yoonbum looks at the man, denial clinging onto his features as his eyebrows stay raised and his mouth lays open in the already normal shock of the current event.The man listens for once."Hey! We might have another person in there! Let's go search the second floor!"Yoonbum watches that man return into the building, the slamming of the ambulance trucks then change into the loud sirens that echo through the empty neighborhood.However, what the men find is not just a body, but a corpse. Not just any old corpse, but the corpse of Sangwoo's mother, placed in such a manner as her hands hold her knees the position was beyond anything they'd discovered. It was disgusting.The word got out, news blasted about Oh Sangwoo's horrendous crimes. And Yoonbum was hospitalized.While sitting in the soft blue sheets of the hospital, he basically lied about how he got in Sangwoo's home. As a victim, he needed to keep that narrative.Since he was just as sick as Sangwoo, except as a stalker who lacked remorse for what he'd done to that girl."I was walking down the street, and he suddenly jumped on me from behind."That's how the words came out of Yoonbum, lies that would let him be free."Then he dragged me to his house..." He continued on, "then he smashed my feet with a hammer...and kept me locked up in the basement."Yoonbum presses his right hand over his left to emphasize the pain he'd been in and to inevitably show the scar on his wrist."I was forced to wear strange clothes, he used my phone to call my uncle over to kill him."He continued to twist the story, distort it so that they'd never suspect a thing. He'd do anything to not go to jail, to save his own life."He kept me locked up for months, and did things to me...against my will."Eventually the interview ends, but only for Min Jieun's mother to wind up in the room. The woman rushes to cry on his hands, the wet warmth that now stained the very same hands that killed her daughter. She sobs on Yoonbum, then starts saying that he should be happy for Jieun, for being able to live through Oh Sangwoo.The days pass by, just like that.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Yoonbum remembers the body very well, how disgusting it looked and how...sickening to see Sangwoo like that. That. Like that. Whatever that was. It was a gruesome scene to see anyways, he can't even remember how Sangwoo looks like anymore, haha, but he can remember the face that came out of a horror movie.Yoonbum wrapped his fingers around his other hand, as Seungbae makes eye contact with him. Something about Seungbae made him a little nervous, was it the fact that he felt guilty for the things he did to Min Jieun. Or...was it that he was the one who stalked Sangwoo in the first place, that he was the sick person in the begining, before he found out what Sangwoo really was like. And the fact that Seungbae himself had seen him in the past at Sangwoo's place, would he remember?Too many thoughts, Yoonbum had to say something else."I guess the face I saw that day..." he says, continues to rub his fingers together, "...really was him..."It's like the denial has finally faded, Yoonbum feels ill at the thought of his own actions though. It's not like Sangwoo actually attacked him from behind, these lies aren't like Sangwoo's, Yoonbum can only hold onto himself for so long."Maybe there's something wrong with me..." Yoonbum says it without a care, it's not like he was the victim, really. What makes this uneasy for him is that Seungbae hasn't remembered when he'd caught Yoonbum at Sangwoo's doorstep. That alone makes Yoonbum paranoid."I can't seem to remember what he looked like anymore...""It's alright, that son of a bitch is gone." Seungbae's tone is coated with a drip of bitterness additionally it's supposed to be comforting words for Yoonbum.Seungbae tells him it's alright, but was it really? It doesn't seem right to him, either. How could he forget his face... It was odd, only made Yoonbum want to see his face, even in the current state Sangwoo's in. He wanted to see Sangwoo. Yoonbum hadn't realized he said that aloud."I want to see him." It comes out quiet yet with Seungbae in the room, it's loud and completely off topic from what Yoonbum had said earlier. Yoonbum freezes in horror at what he'd said, his eyes are wide and knew he said something he shouldn't have.Seungbae gives him a questionable look, says, "What?"Yoonbum quickly adds,"I mean...I want to see him suffering with my own eyes!" Yoonbum's sanity wasn't quite right yet, of course he had to slip up in front of Seungbae. That's exactly why being around Seungbae makes it nervewrecking on Yoonbum, if he doesn't choose his words and thoughts carefully. He'll definitely figure out that Yoonbum's peculiar words might indicate his rather obsessive, stalkerish behavior from the first time they'd seen each other.Yoonbum again asks, "Can I see him?" This time he doesn't look at Seungbae, but rather looks down at his hands, which were shaking like Yoonbum knows he shouldn't be asking risque things like that, but does it anyways because he's impulsive. He doesn't want to look at Seungbae, either way Seungbae probably has noticed the trembling in his hands. The man has to notice the little things to get where he is now, considering how difficult Sangwoo made his job he still figured Sangwoo out.Seungbae glances at Yoonbum and immediately releases a small laugh at Yoonbum's question."You really are something, it won't be easy seeing him, as he doesn't fall under police jurisdiction at the moment, seeing him wouldn't help your case at all."That's really all it takes for Yoonbum to slowly realize he may never see Sangwoo ever. The thought of that really bothered him, after all they've been through, all the little moments to where Sangwoo began to show him at least fragments of himself that no one else has seen. It shouldn't end like this, no, no, no. No...it can't end.He wants to see Sangwoo. He wants...Sangwoo. He wants Sangwoo, again.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The following couple days, Seungbae returns to the hospital with a bunch of purple flowers.He had a look of excitement as he tells the news to Yoonbum."You're about to be cleared from the investigation, that means it's pretty much been confirmed!" Seungbae smiles at Yoonbum, the happiness in the other man's face was the complete opposite for Yoonbum. Yoonbum should be happy like Seungbae, but...he wasn't. No, he was upset. Sad, dissappointed, angry even. The look of surprise on his face doesn't faze Seungbae, because it's a natural response to the situation. But for Yoonbum, it was uncomfortable and bothersome."R.....Really?! I'm so relieved!" Yoonbum says, he looked completely gone. Like the life got sucked out of him, the news only seemed to get worse once Seungbae began to talk once more."Oh Sangwoo's been sentenced life in prison."Yoonbum can't believe it, his face goes into another expression of astonishment. This couldn't be happening. No, no, no."What?" He asks, his face still in terror at the words Seungbae said. It was like he was being choked, by his own hands, the emotions going on inside him were suffocating him. At this point, Yoonbum can only be surprised to keep his cover but still the news hurt. It shouldn't hurt, but it did. It hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, aghhhhhh. He wanted to scream.Seungbae continues with the news, "He was given the death penalty in the first trial, in the second trial he received a life sentence!"Life sentence? That makes Yoonbum crack a bit, his face slowly losing the composure it once had. He..."By life in prison do you mean...he's going to rot in prison?"He starts to laugh, bringing the bunch of flowers up to his face as he does so."HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH."Seungbae grins at him, "I knew you'd be happy."Except he wasn't happy.He fucking wasn't.The smile on his face was still hidden by the bunch of flowers, his lips still in a u shape. Then he remembers the blank face of Sangwoo, there was nothing but a cap and the shadow of his facial features, empty of the actual features.If he was happy, then why was he gritting his teeth now. Why did that smile turn downwards, like Sangwoo's life sentence was the worst thing in the entire world. Like his own life was meaningless because no one’s ever given him the attention that Sangwoo had, even if they started out rough. He killed his uncle, well, he'd never had the guts to do it, Sangwoo did it. It freed him from remembering the awful things his uncle had done to him, he was grateful towards Sangwoo for that. It's not like Sangwoo's completely horrible, haha, Yoonbum saw sides of him that he'd never expected to see.And maybe that's why the unhappiness that lingers through his skin, aches like the hunger of being loved, unconditionally, at the expense of his own well being. He would do anything to get Sangwoo back, god, he is a sick person and he's better off dead. Except, the idea of freeing Sangwoo swims through his head, while it may seem impossible, he'd figure something out. He'd at least try, for the sake of Sangwoo and his relationship.He stops laughing, waits a bit to look at Seungbae. He sure is happy... It kind of annoys Yoonbum, but he slouches in the hospital bed and puts the flowers on the small table near his side. “I need some rest...if you don’t mind.” Yoonbum sighs out, at least his dreams could make Sangwoo come to him. At least he has that privilege. He lays his head onto the pillow, questions what he’ll do after this. Seungbae nods and slowly walks out of the room, but pauses as he holds the doorknob.”Mr. Yoon, I’m sure you’ll do fine once you leave the hospital, I assure you that we’ll treat you well and help you.” Seungbae gives him one last cheeky smile, smoothly exits and closes the door with a soft click. Yoonbum can’t believe those words, they just don’t seem plausible because no one in his life has loved him like Sangwoo has, even then nobody could replace Sangwoo. Yoonbum wrapped the blankets up to his chin, slowly shut his eyes, the smell of roses in the room made no difference to him. What was the point? Maybe he’ll ask dream Sangwoo such questions...And maybe he will answer, even if it’s not real, it felt better than this. Yoonbum slowly drifts off into slumber, the comfort of the darkness embracing him and replacing the fluorescent lights that brought nothing but headaches. With a small smile on his face, he could escape the reality. Wherever you are, Sangwoo, please don’t go.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
There was a strange noise, almost static-like but very quiet. Yoonbum could either blame the lights in the hospital bedroom, but that felt off, he wasn’t even conscious so that couldn’t be it. Maybe he was dreaming, yeah that was it. Wasn’t it? Sometimes it felt like he was fighting himself in decided what was wrong and what was right. He wanted to open his eyes, except they wouldn't budge no matter what, there was also something holding his neck. The cold hands rubbed gently on his neck, almost familiarly like a mother would do to her husband, it felt nice. Yoonbum couldn't tell if he was smiling or not, the emotions were there, but the sensation of being in control of his body was not. This dream was already strange, the sounds and lack of control in his body, then the hands on his neck. Who could it be?"Do you know how much I've missed you, Bumi..." The voice he heard was low, almost hushed, sweet like honey, drenched with despair and love. The nickname itself already gave it away. It was Sangwoo. Sangwoo was rubbing his neck, now rested his chin on his shoulder, even though Yoonbum couldn't move he could still feel it. He wondered if he could speak, or would he be stuck as if he deserves to be tortured for being able to face Min Jieun's mother without a tinge of guilt or a drip of care at all. "Please say something..." Sangwoo could hardly control his emotions, no, the love he has for Yoonbum goes beyond 'emotions' and nothing could break that, not even death. It was simple, Yoonbum was his, just as he was Yoonbum's. Two broken children, abused and traumatized. He did feel guilty though, for the things he did to Yoonbum, realizing Yoonbum wasn't like that wretched woman or like his violent bastard of a father it brought him comfort and security that he's never felt in his life before. Death simply gave him a new life, reborn with the innocence he'd lost as a child, a teen, erasing his ties of his young adult life. Erasing the things he'd always wanted to get out of his head, rather than living with the thoughts twisting him into someone he wasn't but couldn't help but become because of the conditioning he'd faced through his childhood. Yoonbum tries one more time, his eyes open slowly and the brightness of the imaginary world devours him. It took him a bit to adjust to the sunset that he could now see, he swiftly turns his head to look up at Sangwoo who was looking down at him with an unusually big yet bright smile. The smile wasn't like any of his smiles he'd given him when they were together nor did it make Yoonbum shake with fear. It was a real, genuine, smile. Yoonbum shyly smiles at Sangwoo, not believing what he was seeing. Could they reunite like this, even if for a moment before he'd be put into a jail cell? Sangwoo's features appeared softer and vulnerable, the dead look he once had in those black eyes of his became a little brighter than Yoonbum's own, the tan skin looked the same but only emphasized on how healthy and happy Sangwoo looked. Sangwoo was wearing a white tank, showing off his muscles, wore long black shorts that fell towards his knees, it almost felt like Sangwoo had woken up from Yoonbum's presence.Yoonbum hadn't noticed until now but Sangwoo's hands now embraced him and rested around his waist. He could feel Sangwoo's large hands, they were rather gentle with him, they didn't appear to pierce or attempt to harm or control him. He couldn't help but a laugh, this would hurt once he woke up. Sangwoo lifts his chin and posture up from Yoonbum's neck, wonders why Bum was laughing. What's so funny to him? "I-I don't know how I'm going to live without you, Sangwoo, haha," Yoonbum is still looking at Sangwoo, frightened by the idea of Sangwoo being sentenced to life. It fucking hurt, okay. Sangwoo's smile falters when he hears those words come out of Yoonbum's mouth, bites his lip out of habit. Their situation was complicated now, he was dead, Yoonbum wasn't. Did Yoonbum even know he'd been killed at the hospital?Yoonbum hesitates once he regains his composure, these last words still haunt him and the moment Seungbae had said them, well he'd knew he'd give up anything to not hear it. "Um, they also said that you were going to be sentenced to life in prison...when I heard that...i-it really hurts." The look in Yoonbum's eyes was on the verge of tears, the sad smile now stained itself on Yoonbum's face. Sangwoo knew it, he had that hunch with the fact that Yoonbum chose to sleep than face reality. Would've been shitty either way, at least when he's dead he won't have to suffer with that bitch in his mind, or the thought of not having Yoonbum to comfort him with his already fucked up mental stability. Being dead was actually the best option, merely because he was happier and able to see and hold Yoonbum miraculously by some magical or god given gift. Seemed more magical than anything than the possibility of a devil portrayed as god would do. He had to tell Yoonbum, otherwise he'd eventually kill himself once he woke up, not because of what he says, but with how he finds his already cremated body. He'd need Yoonbum to live in order for them to stay together. If Yoonbum dies, he doubts they'd even be able to see each other on the other side, it seems that these dream rules only apply to one person living and the other being dead. Yoonbum waited for Sangwoo's response, anxiously he let one of his hands wrap around Sangwoo's and pushed his fingers continuously against Sangwoo's. Sangwoo notices and takes a hold of Yoonbum's right hand and shifts his attention back to Yoonbum. He hated that look in his eyes, scared and conflicted, frightened and anxious, they remind him of his actions and remind him that he deserved to die, rightfully so. "I'm already dead, Bum. Suffocated to death, don't think it matters now that I think about it, my body was already shitty anyways." Sangwoo can't help but sigh out, he should comfort Yoonbum before the news actually sets itself and coil around Yoonbum like a blanket that would drastically choke him to his own thoughts.Yoonbum's confused now, how could he know he's already dead if this was a dream? Plus, how did he know how he died? That...doesn't sound right, it couldn't be, but why would Sangwoo lie to him? It had to be true if Sangwoo said so. He felt something sharp pierce inside of him, his heart seemed to shatter like glass itself, his eyes were already brimmed with the warmth wetness of his tears. He can't accept it, but his own body seems to acknowledge the truth that echos between Sangwoo and him. The sobbing arises like a flock of doves, Yoonbum quickly presses his face into Sangwoo's chest, moving Sangwoo's hands away from his waist towards his ass. Sangwoo then raises his arms to pull Yoonbum closer into him, as he does he lifts Yoonbum's chin and can't help but lean forward and presses his lips onto Yoonbum's warm yet slightly dry lips. He'd definitely remind Yoonbum to use chap stick, shit was too god damned dry. He maintains eye contact with Yoonbum, the surprise on Yoonbum's face was cute. Cute. His Yoonbum was always going to be cute for him, whether he lives or not, they'd stay together. He breaks away from the kiss, caresses Yoonbum's cheek, doesn't let Yoonbum speak. "It sounds bad, doesn't it?" Sangwoo says, shakes his head at Yoonbum who nodded at his question. "But in reality it saved me, Bum, I was suffering for so long, you couldn't imagine the bitch's hold on my state of mind, I had lived like that my whole childhood and had no therapy, none of that bullshit, so what else could I do? Become the monsters that made me."Yoonbum hadn't thought about it like that, this Sangwoo in his dream, it wasn't the Sangwoo he'd imagined in his head when they'd first met, but another person who'd reformed from his living self and had enough self-awareness to know he'd done terrible things people. It was like he was reborn, or like he hadn't really died but only grew as a person. It was like Sangwoo's existence itself is undying.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Yoonbum's questionable look made Sangwoo a little anxious, he'd never really spoken about his past to him, when he did it was usually in a cruel manner, you know being the asshole that he was. A piece of shit who couldn't get out of that toxic cycle of the abuse he'd been through. He never wanted to be violent like his father, nor quickly change into that sick bitch. Fuck that bitch."What, um, do you think you'll ever tell me about your past, just like I did, uh when you were alive, hah." Yoonbum's cheeks grew rosy, he was a bit embarrassed to ask Sangwoo something so personal. He'd never really gotten to that point when they were together, he'd been so angry, violent, quite bipolar in his actions and words. Sangwoo seemed to be fine with his question though, immediately pressed his left hand to Yoonbum's cheek and softly pinches the softness of his cheek. "You're too fucking cute for your own good, Bum, I just want to hold you, touch you, protect you from the world. Your cheeks still look so squishy and plump, fuck." Sangwoo laughs, it's like his entire body is oozing with warmth now that he can see Yoonbum and while it's only a dream, he didn't have to suffer anymore.It felt so fucking good. Even better than sex, god damn. He'd never felt such intense warmth in his stomach like this, no, it swelled up in his head too. Was this love? And if so, Sangwoo was shocked by this new feeling, it overwhelmed him and that was fine. Yoonbum likes it too, Sangwoo's long fingers were cold against his hot cheek, the anxiety he'd been feeling earlier gradually fades like a Popsicle melting in the sun. It simply goes, disappears, for once Yoonbum doesn't have to worry about being abandoned or getting upset at Sangwoo's contradictory words. He can just...stand in the moment."Haha, are they really that squishy?" Yoonbum asks curiously, he wanted to touch his cheek to make sure, however, Sangwoo stops him and wraps his right hand tightly around Yoonbum's hand and holds it. He can't control himself anymore, really, he was starting to feel light-headed by the faint hue of the sunset mixing in with the emotional high he was getting just by touching Yoonbum and listening to that quiet yet gentle voice of Yoonbum. The air around them didn't waver, but the sun was slowly disappearing and the shadows were starting to cover Yoonbum and Sangwoo. Sangwoo would show Yoonbum where to go, he turns his body slightly away from Yoonbum but still manages to hold Yoonbum's hand. Yoonbum can only wonder where Sangwoo's taking him, Sangwoo urges him to follow by directing and shaking his head towards a far away building."And to answer your question, Bum, I will tell you about the unholy fucked up world that Oh Sangwoo only knew as a child through adolescence and adulthood, but I'm a bit afraid you might get sick halfway through it." Sangwoo waits for Yoonbum to turn his own body in the right direction, he didn't want to let go of Yoonbum's hands. They were frail, a bit too delicate to be another man's hands, but that fit Yoonbum. He knew Yoonbum was skinny, but damn his fingers were frighteningly thin. Yoonbum seems to acknowledge Sangwoo's last words, as he squeezes Sangwoo's hand.If he wanted to know Sangwoo he'd have to listen to the whole story, all of it, even if it consisted of a tale that seems so damned and belonged more to a horror book than to a person like Sangwoo. He would sit down calmly and patiently listen, if possible not vomit but there was a small chance he might puke with how much Sangwoo emphasizes on how bad his childhood was. Abuse was always something he'd known, but to hear about Sangwoo's own abuse was another thing. And unlike Sangwoo, he'd gotten away from his uncle, hadn't stayed there since so long ago. While Sangwoo had to endure his mother and father's abusive behavior, the two drastically would change him into a crazed person who had no stable self besides going from violent to a oddly calm person. Yoonbum himself didn't know what Sangwoo really was like and neither did Sangwoo.He'd lost himself as a child, now he gets the chance to be sane and to feel love from another and love. He'd never known what love was until he'd met Yoonbum, even though Yoonbum was mentally unstable too, it was still love. A love that he couldn't achieve from either of his parents, not even from himself because of how damaged he already was and had no basic sense of self. For once Sangwoo had no hallucinations of her, or felt any contempt towards Yoonbum, all of it had been discarded the moment he'd died. He couldn't keep himself from grinning at Yoonbum now, the idea of finally letting his past be heard and not be judged for coping the way he did when he was alive. God, it felt like therapy, but much more intimate with Yoonbum. But that doesn't mean his actions were right especially towards Yoonbum and to those unfortunate woman he'd manipulated and etc. Sangwoo still feels ill at the thought of murdering them, he can't possibly want to ever experience that again. No, not with Yoonbum with him, that woman cannot hurt him anymore."Where are we going, Sangwoo?" Yoonbum's voice pulls him away from his thoughts, suddenly he keeps overthinking things that he'd usually, if he was that psychopathic asshole, ignore. "Hm, curious aren't you, Bum, it's a secret. I don't want to ruin the surprise!" Sangwoo grins like an idiot, aware of the confusion on Yoonbum's face. How can he be so... So. Fucking. Cute. Sangwoo waits for Yoonbum before he takes one step, a slow but assertive step."You gonna follow or what? There might be some wolves out here, or some fucked up shit that goes on in that head of yours, who knows maybe t-that man's going to get us?!" Sangwoo pretends to be scared as Yoonbum's face changes from confusion to a look of horror. Haha, he's cute whenever he shows his emotions."I'm kidding, Bum, but I actually don't know if there is monsters in this dream of yours, so...that's why we should run to that building!" Sangwoo points to the building now, Yoonbum wants to punch him for messing with him."Don't bully me...maybe I should kick you..." Yoonbum swiftly moves and stands by Sangwoo instead of being behind him, he turns his head and looks up at him and gives him a smug smile, his eyes looking devilish, maybe even suggestive. Oh. Now that was a turn on, fuck, fuck his dirty mind. But also the way Yoonbum's hair covered his face, when he slants his head, Sangwoo takes note that Yoonbum can and will be sexy with no mercy to Sangwoo's dick and heart. He isn't hard, yet. But if Yoonbum keeps his naughty antics up, he might not last to talk about his story. A shame but he wants to bury his face in Yoonbum's neck and to feel those dainty fingers of his around his neck and hold him for the entire night before Yoonbum wakes up to the dreary reality. He only wants Yoonbum. Nothing more, nothing less."Oh, so you're going to punish me?" Sangwoo replies quickly, he pouts, "I need your kisses though, Bum, I think I'd die without them..." Yoonbum shakes his head at him, then pulls Sangwoo's arm downwards and stares into Sangwoo's eyes. Whatever this was, Yoonbum could only hold onto for the moment and the pain in his heart will reemerge once he wakes up. The sadistic yet beauty of this dreamy state, like god himself was testing the two if they could redeem themselves, two sinners who'd lost a lot in their childhoods. "Woah there, Bum, you're being quite assertive aren't you?" Sangwoo merely looks at the frail boy, noticing how pale Yoonbum's gotten and the grip Yoonbum's got on him is nothing to ignore. It was kinda scary."Sangwoo," Yoonbum pauses, something didn't feel right, Yoonbum could feel it. "I don't want to be alone." Before either of them could say anything, Yoonbum watched as the darkness covered Sangwoo's worried face, the last glimpse of Sangwoo made him feel ill. Not only that but his stomach began to feel nauseous, suddenly he woke up sweating and trembling in the darkness of the hospital room. This couldn't be. No, why, how, everything felt shittier than it should have.After seeing Sangwoo and talking to him, what good was reality? The bitter taste in his mouth that is the realization of his current life. He wanted to hurt himself. Anything to get this feeling away from him, anything to get Sangwoo back in his arms, anything to fucking stop him from being alone! He rubs the back of his neck, trying to cool himself down with the coolness of his hands, which wasn't as hot as his face was. What time was it? Yoonbum squints at the clock, it seems it's 6am. He should be leaving the hospital in a couple hours, once that happens he doesn't really know where he'll go. Should he go back to Sangwoo's house? Probably. Life wouldn't get better unless he actually made an effort.But he'll be alone.Alone. Without anybody, really.Maybe, just maybe he can go back to college, after all that would have plenty of people in it. Crowds, even if it's complete strangers, it was better than nothing. Definitely better than nothing, even if the idea frightened him. New people, new problems. People were complicated, most misunderstood him in high school, what if they do the same in college? These thoughts eat at him, he'd never been good at making or keeping friends. But he'd sacrifice himself to not be alone, he hated the thought of being all by himself in this home. The only thing that makes sense is that dream, yet it doesn't make sense at the same time. Yoonbum stares up at the ceiling, laying his head onto the soft comfort of the pillow. Life is so miserable without Sangwoo, maybe he's delusional for thinking that dream of his would last until morning. He slowly dozes off, the sensation of the darkness devouring him returns and his eyes shut like a pair of hands covering his vision."Wake up, Bum."