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Jakku was a desolate fishing village to those with finer constitutions. Five people lived on its rocky shores, and Ben still hadn't said a single word to any of them. If they happened to pass each other on the single wooden jetty, they simply nodded to each other, eyes meeting for a split second. No one came to Jakku unless they were running from something. Ben wasn't sure just what he was running from.
Or maybe he just didn't want to acknowledge the options.
Ben Solo was a creature of routine. He woke up with the dawn like clockwork, warming up the ancient hob for the kettle and pulling on his tattered old red plaid jumper and thick trousers. He then sat down and pulled on his leather boots, as worn as his jumper yet sturdy and comfortable. While he tied the laces, the kettle would whistle shrilly until he took it off. With the water scalding, Ben made his usual flask of tea and added only a splash of milk. No sugar. He couldn't get sugar unless he drove to the nearest town half an hour away.
Flask in hand, Ben grabbed the door key and left for the water.
The faded cream boat wasn't much to look at. Not really. It was barely large enough for his bulk, let alone anything else. It rocked violently as it always did as he sat down. A fishing rod, red paint now faded and chipped was retrieved from beneath the seat and prepped in silence.
It was a dull, foggy morning. A haze of white hung low over the lake, obscuring the distant shore. The surface of the water was glassy in its stillness, broken only when Ben readied the oars and began to row.
That morning, Ben decided to keep close to the shoreline. But not too close, lest the jagged rocks below tear at his little boat like teeth and claws. The cod tended to congregate around the rocks at that time of year anyway.
He turned the radio on around an hour in. Ben extended the aerial and thumped the box twice for good measure until the crackling voices came through clear.
-e start this morning with David Bowie's song, Heroes. It's an oldie, but a goodie!
Ben tapped away with a foot as the song played, joining in softly under his breath once he got the gist of how the lyrics went again. It had been so long that he felt ashamed. Bowie was a good one. Ben made a mental note to record that song to his mix tape when he got the chance.
In the end, the dawn playlist ended up playing a whole host of David Bowie songs when they couldn't make the set playlist work. It was a great morning; Ben spent it singing along without reserve, a nostalgic smile about his lips. His voice echoing over the still waters probably scared the fish away, but in that moment he just didn't care. Ben felt only the joy brought on by the taste of the lyrics upon his lips and the music of his childhood filling his ears.
His father had loved Bowie. It was because of the man's music that Ben's mother had come to refer to her husband as her Spaceman. Later on when they became parents, Han and Leia often called their son their little Space Oddity.
It's the ears,
Han had winked.
No one in the family has those great things. You're an oddity, my boy.
Yes, that sounded about right to Ben: he
was
an oddity. Who else actively chose to leave civilisation and decide to live like the rest of the world no longer existed?
You need a woman,
his mother had frowned upon her last visit, looking around the near bare house with worry in her eyes. Ben liked things sparse and neat. He blamed the army training for instilling that into him.
A family. You cannot spend the rest of your life in solitude, Benjamin. Not after what you endured in that… that terrible place. You're thirty now. You should be living, not simply existing in the middle of nowhere. You're so lonely, sweetheart. Won't you just come home?
Ben wasn't lonely. Not at all. He loved the peace and the quiet, the freedom to do what he wanted and float around in his little boat until the darkness swept in like a tide. His mother hadn't appreciated his reply telling her so.
It was so easy to forget about what atrocities had happened in the real world when he was out on the lake. He belonged there, comfortable in his solitude.
Something tugged on his line around midday. Ben placed his flask of now cold tea down and picked up the rod, beginning the task of reeling in dinner for that evening. He hoped it was cod. If not, something just as delicious and large. Hopefully it wasn't a catfish again. Ben hated catfish; they always threatened to capsize his boat if they were of a certain size. Big mouthed bastards.
A tail broke the calm, slicing through the water and slapping furiously against the surface. Ben's eyes widened in shock as he caught sight of the tail; large and a dark grey tipped with white. And the tail itself had been muscular and large-
Dear God, there were
sharks
living in the lake-?
Panic overtook Ben as he fumbled with the pocketknife in his boot, still desperate to hold onto his only rod in the face of the furious thrashing of the predator.
The tail struck the boat and the knife went overboard, vanishing within the depths of the lake. Another huge wave made Ben lose his balance and drop the rod; the wire twisted around his ankle and one more pull from the great beast knocked him into the water also.
Ben was dragged down. He yelled, but only an explosion of bubbles appeared. The water was icy as he twisted and pulled, fingers desperately scrabbling at the line around his boot.
Was this how it ended? As nothing more than a feast for a predator? Ben could only think of his mother. She'd lost her husband five years ago, and now she was going to lose her only son. And not long after she'd finally gotten him back from the grasping talons of war. He'd vanish and nothing would ever be found, the evidence swallowed up by the dark lake.
His chest hurt. It was like someone was pressing down upon it with their foot, smirking at him while they did it.
The wire came loose, but Ben was too exhausted to figure out which way was the surface, let alone try to swim for it. Through the greenish gloom a shadow appeared and Ben knew what it was: death circling him before going in for the kill.
So be it; he'd look death in its dark, emotionless eyes before his end.
But death wasn't what Ben had expected. He certainly hadn't envisioned the enchanting woman with dark hair floating around her pretty little face as she stared at him with her head cocked. She floated closer and closer, using her shark's tail until she reached him, raising a slightly webbed hand and brushing his cheek with something like wonder in her eyes. The woman smiled and looked down.
Just before consciousness finally ebbed away from him, Ben felt their hands touch.
Ben woke up choking on water. He rolled onto his side and coughed and spluttered until he could finally gasp down air. Beautiful, precious air. His throat burned as badly as his lungs.
Night had fallen. When Ben rolled back over onto his back, the vast expanse of space stared back. The stars winked at him and the constellation of Aquarius seemed especially bright that evening.
He returned, shivering constantly, to his little home and stoked the fire into life.
Slowly but surely, Ben digested what had happened. And what he had seen. It seemed almost ludicrous to suggest, but… had he seen a mermaid in the depths of the lake? She'd seemed so very real, floating close enough that her fingers had brushed his face. Soft fingers at that. Delicate like spun sugar.
How else could he have survived unless something or someone had dragged him ashore?
After stripping naked and hanging his soaked clothes around the fire, Ben made a whiskey and lemon. Then he simply went to bed, far too exhausted to think anymore.
Dawn didn't wake Ben the next morning. He lay in bed until midday. Only hunger and terrible thirst dragged him from the warm confines. Ben sat listening to the back up radio in just plaid pyjama bottoms, spooning porridge into his mouth without really tasting it. He missed his mouth a few times, completely lost in thought.
He couldn't stop thinking about the girl. The… the
mermaid.
Ben was certain that he hadn't hallucinated such beauty. He had to know. Had to venture down to the water's edge and discover the insane truth for himself.
Maybe he wasn't going mad.
After breakfast, Ben dressed and padded down to the jetty. There was no boat, no nothing. He sat down with a soft grunt, gazing out at the calm lake.
Ben mourned the loss of his boat more than anything. That and his father's cherished radio. He sniffed back tears, rubbing the back of a hand against his eyes. How could he have been so fucking stupid? Why didn't he just let go of the rod? Ben could have suffered the loss of the rod, but the radio-? The radio wasn't something that could ever be replaced. Now it was gone, just like his father. Something precious and ultimately lost to him.
Ben's voice cracked as he let loose a roar of intense fury that echoed over the lake. The tears came thick and fast against his will. Ben bowed his head and closed his eyes, squeezing them hard in an attempt to stem the burning beneath his eyelids. He felt hollow, only an empty space where his heart had once resided.
A soft splash alerted Ben to the breaking of the glassy surface. He opened his eyes and looked up, the most impossible sight drifting towards him.
The boat.
His
boat.
It stopped just before the jetty, bumping gently against the side.
Ben stared at it for a long moment before throwing himself forward, almost moaning with relief when the radio was safely within his grasp and pressed into his chest. It was even dry, just the battery depleted. But batteries could be charged. Replaced.
A soft ripple spread across the water and Ben redoubled his grip on the precious radio as he looked at the head emerging from beneath the surface.
It was her. The... mermaid.
She was as beautiful as an old master's painting. Her dark eyes watched him with a bright curiosity, hair wet and shining, plastered to her head. There was nothing ethereal about her, nothing mythical to Ben's eyes. She just looked so… normal. Astoundingly beautiful, but human.
He shut his mouth when he realised it was open.
Ben carefully set down the radio next to him and shifted so that he was sat cross legged at the edge of the jetty. She didn't finch away from the closeness, and neither did he. For a moment they simply gazed at one another, utterly fascinated.
“Can you speak?” Ben asked hesitantly, unable to tear his gaze away from her own. She stared with an intensity that made Ben feel like she was staring right into the heart of his crooked and aching soul.
She nodded, finally blinking. “Yes,” she replied in a very human, very pleasant feminine voice. That shocked Ben more than the tail. How… how was this possible-?
“What are you?” he whispered, fingers trembling on the edge of the jetty.
She ducked down beneath the water briefly, only replying when she resurfaced. “Not like you. You call us mermaids. Sirens. …Monsters of myth and legend. In your stories we sink your ships and eat your sailors, drink their blood and build our castles from their bones.”
Ben didn't think her a monster. Unless a miracle had occurred, this beauteous creature had been the one to drag him ashore. She had saved him, not dragged him beneath the lake and eaten him like the darker tales of mermaids and sirens. He pressed a hand over his heart. “Thank you for returning my boat and radio. They mean a great deal to me.”
She tilted her head at the strange word: radio. “The… singing box? It's called a radio?” she asked cautiously, eyes flickering to where it sat nearby.
“Yes. It plays music.”
“It's very nice. I hear it every morning when you make it work.” Her smile became wide. “But I like
your
singing better. The lake does too; it carries to every part of the water. It's primal and real, like waves crashing upon sand.”
The lake itself liked his singing-? Ben didn't quite know what to say. She spoke as if the lake was sentient, as if it had ears to listen with. Then again, if mermaids were real, why not? Why couldn't the lake hear his pitiful attempt at singing?
“I… thank you. I'm glad it likes me. Do you have a name?”
Still the smile did not fade. “Yes. In this tongue though, it's Rey. What is yours?”
Such an ordinary name for such an extraordinary girl. “Rey. I'm Ben.”
“Ben.” She tested the name on her lips, rolling it a few times in a way that made Ben's heart leap. “I like it.
Ben
.”
He needed to know more.
Had
to know more. Ben had traveled the world with the RAF, but never had he encountered something as precious as she was. A rare and glittering diamond dredged from the deepest ocean floor. “Have you always lived in the lake?”
“Most of my life. I lived in the Great with my family before coming here.”
More of them-! Ben leaned in closer. “There's more of you?” There was no hiding his curiosity and boyish excitement. Rey was a fairytale come to life.
Rey nodded, closing her eyes and leaning back; her bare chest emerged from the water and Ben stared at her pert breasts for a long moment before he caught himself and looked away, feeling almost ashamed. Tail or not, Rey was still a woman. A very beautiful one at that. It was wrong to think such lustful thoughts around innocence like this.
“There's many of us. My family left me behind by mistake, but they're coming back. I know they are. They're just waiting for the Great currents to bring them here. I don't mind waiting,” she added cheerfully.
Ben looked back to her and his eyes immediately found her chest once more, drawing his gaze like a moth to a flame. Her nipples pebbled as the cold morning air got to them, but she didn't seem to care. In fact, she didn't seem to care at all that he was finding it hard to form a coherent sentence with her exposed to him like that. It had been a year since he'd seen a woman that wasn't his mother. As for a naked woman, even longer. The only action he got in Jakku was a hand fisted around his cock.
He breathed a silent sigh of relief when she shifted and it was only her head above the water, body shrouded by the deep. The sentences flowed once more. “Have you… been waiting very long?”
Rey looked thoughtful. “Many winters. I can't remember anymore. The oceans have been changing so rapidly now. It's colder here than it used to be.”
“Why don't you go and look for them?” he frowned.
She laughed, a lovely sound that made Ben feel like he was submerged in a warm bath. “I cannot do that! If I left and they came back, I wouldn't be here. And they'd think me gone. No, I will wait for them to return. It won't be long now, I can feel it.”
Ben had a sneaking suspicion that her family was either dead or simply not coming back. No one left family behind, not even nature. If she had been here for many winters, Rey had been in this lake for years.
Years.
Alone and abandoned, hiding beneath the fog and glassy surface of the water. That was a miserable thought indeed.
He didn't say anything -- clearly the poor thing was in denial. Hopefully one day she would wake up and realise that the only person she could count on was herself. Rey struck him as sweet and innocent, and that made Ben feel nothing but animosity towards her family. Clearly humans were not the only monsters to inhabit the earth, either on it or beneath its ocean. The old urge to protect floated to the surface and he didn't push it back down this time.
Something metallic and shiny caught Ben's eye, a flickering beneath the surface. He thought it a fish until he saw the curve, realising with a jolt of horror that it was his fishing hook. And it was deeply embedded into her powerful shark's tail.
So Rey
had
been the one to capsize him. He'd thought so, but now he was certain. Ben couldn't feel angry with her -- having a hook that size caught in your muscle and being pulled on relentlessly would
hurt.
From the way it was bent slightly, Rey had been trying to get it out. And she had failed miserably.
“Wait here,” Ben said hurriedly, picking up his radio and setting it aside. “Please. I'll be right back.” Without waiting for her reply, he turned away and set off at a run up the dirt track.
Much to his relief, Rey was still there when Ben returned with his rusty old toolbox. Another relic from his father's past. He knelt down at the edge of the jetty, the pungent smell of fish filling his nose. Ben was certain that he'd never get used to the stench, no matter how many years he lived in Jakku. He popped open the toolbox and withdrew a pair of pliers and some wire cutters, setting them down next to him.
Rey craned her head, trying to get a decent look. “What are they? They look very pointy and sharp.”
Ben tested the wire cutters on a small stick, thankful that they weren't too blunt. “They're going to get that hook out of your tail, Rey.”
She blinked twice, evidently taken aback. “Oh! Will it… will it hurt?”
The fear in her voice made Ben look up from the tools, tone soft as he replied. “It will. I'm sorry. The hook is embedded into muscle.” He looked down, shame flooding him. “It's my hook. My fault. I am very sorry for hurting you, Rey.”
The girl shook her head, slipping a wet hand from the water and covering his own as it lay at the edge of the jetty. Her hand was warm and damp, not cold and clammy like Ben had expected. She gripped him surprisingly tight too. “No, it's my own fault. I came too close to the boat. I was listening to the song and didn't notice the hook there. I'm so sorry that I almost drowned you, Ben. I panicked.”
“You saved me. I know it wasn't intentional.” Her hand was so lovely and so very different from his own. Between each finger was a slight film connecting them. Like the webbed feet of a frog, only much more delicate and opaque. Ben gently brushed it with a fingertip, marvelling at how strong it actually was. It didn't move at all when he touched it.
Rey smiled hesitantly, glancing down at their joined hands. “I'm not a monster like most of the others. I don't like hurting people and I most certainly do not eat them. Will you forgive me?”
Ben's smile hurt his cheeks. It had been much too long since he'd last found reason to smile. “There is nothing to forgive. Now, come closer -- let me get that hook out for you.”
How was he going to do this? Ben pondered it for a long moment before ruling out doing it on the jetty. She was simply to far down in the water. The only way was-
“Can you… come out of the water?”
Rey's eyes widened and she sharply pulled her hand away from his. She whimpered softly. “Out of the-? No.
No-!”
Before Ben could open his mouth, she dove under the water and smacked her tail against the surface, drenching him completely. Rey was gone.
“Fuck-!” Ben groaned and ran a hand through his wet hair, brushing it away from his eyes. What a silly, stupid thing to suggest! Like asking a fish to throw itself into his net. And now she was gone. As if she'd melted into the very water itself and once more become nothing but a creature of myth and legend.
But that hook was still there. Still embedded in her sleek and muscular tail, digging into her and causing untold pain. It wouldn't be right to give up and ignore her. Whatever Rey was, she felt emotions as strongly as he did.
He couldn't just leave her.
“Rey!” Ben leaned over the jetty, a hand either side of the edge. His throat cracked and burned from his near death experience beneath the waves. Ben coughed twice before calling her name once more. “Rey! I want to help you!
Please
let me help you!”
“Why should I trust you?”
Ben's head snapped around to the end of the jetty, sitting back on his heels. He didn't approach her as she bobbed in the water, now nothing but a pair of eyes peering at him from within a dark head. And those eyes were narrowed suspiciously.
Ben's gaze softened. “Because I mean you no harm, Rey. You are so beautiful and enchanting. When I saw you under the lake, I thought I must be dead and you an angel come from on high to save my tattered soul. Before I came to this place, to your lake, I protected people who could not do it for themselves. The location may be different, but my mission is still the same. Let me help you. Please.”
Silence. Then-
“I cannot be out of the water long. It's… it's dangerous for me.”
Ben sighed in relief, standing up. “I'll be as quick as I can, I promise.”
With some trepidation still, Rey floated over towards the bank. She continually looked towards the distant houses scattered around the lake, but there was no one to see. Or to see her.
Ben, tools in hand, made his way down the jetty and met her upon the small section of sandy beach, the only part that wasn't covered in jagged rocks. She hesitated before slowly easing herself into the shallows, pulling herself along with her strong arms when the water only came to her hips. There she stopped and didn't come any further inland, but it was enough for Ben. He slowly stepped into the water and began his approach.
Rey's tail was even more beautiful up close. In the water it seemed like nothing more than the tail of a shark, but now he could see faint patterns upon her skin. It was very faint in the watery sunlight leaking from the clouds, but there was no mistaking the familiar shimmer of scales near her waist where the tail joined seamlessly with her bare torso, the dark grey turning into the lovely soft hue of her skin. The fins were as powerful and as large as he'd thought, a white staining each tip like it had been dipped in paint. Ben glanced at the back of her tail, and indeed her actual back, but there was no dorsal fin of a typical shark. Rey was an enigma, a concentrated mix of human and fish. Was she even classed as a mammal?
She was so fascinating. Enchanting.
“Can I touch you?” Ben asked softly, indicating to her tail. She nodded, but her eyes remained wary. Almost afraid. He knelt down in the shallows and leaned closer.
Then he touched her.
Her tail didn't feel like he'd thought it would. Ben had expected the skin to be smooth and slippery, but instead his hesitant fingers found something akin to his own skin. She was soft for a fraction, but then he found the hard muscle beneath. Like the warm skin of a snake. Wet velvet over soap came to mind. He couldn't think of anything better to describe the strangeness before him.
Rey flinched as his fingers trailed down towards the end and he whispered an apology. She seemed as adverse to touch as he was.
The hook was ugly, protruding from her lovely skin in a grotesque way. Around the metal the flesh was slightly torn and red raw from where it had been bleeding freely beneath the water. Ben inspected how it sat for a long moment, pondering where best to use the wire cutters. It was deep, but not that he couldn't see the barbed end.
He made his choice where to cut and warned Rey to steel herself against the imminent pain. She laughed softly at his words, amused for a reason she did not share with him.
Ben tried to be gentle. He really, truly did. But there was no denying the force needed to split the metal; the cutters snapped through the metal in one hard movement.
Rey didn't scream. She whimpered and bowed her head, but she did not loose anything louder than that. Her body froze in pain as Ben carefully pulled the pieces of hook free with the pliers.
Then it was over.
The young woman sighed in relief, flexing her tail; Ben grimaced as she caused a wave to soak him through, but he didn't complain. How could he when the mermaid before him was smiling once more?
“Oh, that feels so much better.”
“Does it still hurt?” Ben closed his hand around the hook pieces in his palm.
She moved her tail again, glancing down to it. “Only a little. But I will heal, thanks to you. You have my gratitude.”
Ben looked to his closed hand before rising back into his feet; he turned away and threw the pieces into the nearby grass where they could no longer do anymore harm.
There was a loud splash and when Ben turned around, the water was roiling and Rey was gone once more
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ben woke with a start, the peppering of gunfire still loud in his ears. It was painful how tight his fists screwed the bedsheets, eyes squeezed shut. Slowly but surely the echo of war faded away into an unsettled silence.
He sat up, fingers threading through his hair and exhausted sigh upon his lips.
When would it end? The phantoms scratching around his brain at night was maddening! Sleep was a concept that eluded him far too often.
“Fuck-!” Ben threw the pillow with as much force as he could muster; something landed upon the floor and shattered.
For a long time he simply sat there, breath trembling and heart pounding in his chest and ears. “Centre yourself. You are in control,” Ben whispered into the darkness. “Your name is Benjamin Solo. You are thirty years old. You are in Jakku. You are in your bed. You are
alive
.”
Alive.
His breathing steadied.
Ben slowly curled up and used his arm as his pillow.
The net came up empty again.
Ben sighed in frustration and threw it into the boat, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Now he remembered why he'd preferred to use the rod to catch his food. He was useless with the fucking net.
Once more he made to cast out the net, but only succeeded in catching it on his watch. Ben swore vehemently and shook his arm until it came loose.
“No-!” He lunged for the net but it slithered over the side of the boat like an eel and vanished beneath the water.
Ben stared.
And stared.
He bowed his head and brought his hands to his face, groaning long and low. First the rod, now his net? The fates were not smiling kindly upon him that morning. No, they hadn't smiled full fucking stop his entire life.
No, he wouldn't cry. He wouldn't
cry-
“You're terrible at fishing.”
Ben started so bad that the boat rocked wildly, forcing him to steady it. He could only watch as the net was tossed into his boat in a sopping heap. A moment later and the rod followed suit, clattering and dripping. Carefully, Ben's fingers brushed the line of his rod. His breath caught in his throat before he finally managed to exhale. “I… thank you.”
Rey swam around until she was floating next to him, as beautiful and enchanting as ever. She wore a strange necklace of shiny pebbles today, the length of it settled between the mounds of her breasts. “You're not going to catch anything around here. The fish moved upstream a week ago.”
That explained his rather poor catch of late.
“Show me?”
The mermaid smiled and nodded. “Follow me.”
Rey led him a quarter of a mile across the lake, then up a river he didn't even know existed. The currents were gentle so he rowed slowly and leisurely along its length, enjoying the scenery as it soon became more and more green and verdant.
Birds sang freely and animals hidden in the thick undergrowth snuffled and snorted. Rey hummed sweetly as she floated along on her back, eyes closed and tail gently swishing from side to side.
“How is your tail, Rey?” Ben asked once they were around the river bend.
“It's much better. It barely hurts anymore.”
“I'm glad.” And he was.
Rey yawned widely and loosed a soft sigh. “May I ask you something?”
He looked down, oars stilling briefly. “Anything.”
“You said that before you came to the lake, you protected innocent people. Tell me more about that?”
A low buzzing sounded in his ears. Ben felt his breath stutter as the gunfire echoed distantly for a moment until he shut it out. “No. Not that.”
“It's painful to you?”
“Very much.”
Rey nodded, a solemn look in her dark eyes. “As you wish. Then… will you tell me more about your world?”
He couldn't deny her that. Not with such longing and quiet hope in her voice “Of course. What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
Rey expelled.
Ben chuckled, looking over the edge of the boat to where Rey watched with wide eyes and rapt attention. It was almost child-like the way in which she had asked. “That is a very large subject. Can you narrow it down?”
“Well, tell me about your home? Where do you come from?”
That was an easier question to answer. “I was born far from here, in a city. I lived there nearly all my life.”
“A city?” Rey asked quizzically, dipping below the boat to resurface the other side. “What is a city?”
She didn't even know what a city was-?
Right,
Ben reminded himself.
Lived in a lake for years.
“There are lots of people in a city. They are now full, almost bursting with how overpopulated they are. Thousands and millions of people. Most are mazes of tight corridors, cramped and loud.” He had to steady himself. Had to chant in his head that he was no longer there in that den of violence and too much sin to count.
Rey didn't miss the way his breath caught. “You don't like the city.” It wasn't a question, just a soft assumption.
“No,” Ben began slowly. “I don't. People… they continue to disappoint and disgust me in equal measure. They make me so angry and frustrated to be around. I had to leave it all behind before it sent me mad.”
“And so you came here? To Jakku?”
“Yes. My home belonged to my father. Before he found my mother and fell in love with her, he lived most of his life out here. It was ideal for me to move into.” Now he just needed to master the fishing aspect. Some days he was decent at it, others not so much. It was all well and good catching a fish, but then he needed to reel it in without losing it in the process. That was a huge problem sometimes with his wretched impatience.
Rey watched and listened with her attention piqued as usual. To be so innocent again, Ben thought longingly. To think of the world as a fairytale to explore rather than the hell he now knew it was. He was drowning in his bitter and jaded thoughts.
“Are you close to your sire?” Rey asked, floating along with ease.
Ben stopped rowing. The oars hung limp in the water. He looked down at his feet, fingers tightening around the wooden handles. “He died. He had a heart- well, his body gave up on him without warning and nothing could save him. We were not as close as he wanted. I regret that.” He sighed wearily. “It was probably all the cheap damn whiskey that got him in the end. That stuff could strip the paint off walls.”
He expected Rey to… to what? Ben didn't know. Say sorry like humans usually did? To tell him that it wasn't his fault? Of course it wasn't his fault! He'd been in another country at the time of his father's sudden passing, scorching the skies in his fighter jet and trying to help restore order in a world gone mad.
A soft splash of water and Rey's hand found his own once more. Her expression was soft yet serious when he met it, startled by the sudden touch. “He is at peace now, Ben. You have different beliefs than me, but my people believe that all life comes from the water, and to the water we return upon the moment of our death. We begin life anew as something else and death is but a passing journey to our new dwelling.”
It took a very long minute for Ben to hear the words and truly let them sink in.
“I'd like to believe that. My mother too.” A small smile tugged at the corners of Ben's mouth. “We do have a human faith just like your own.”
Rey blinked, then smiled also. “Then perhaps our species are not so far apart after all?” she suggested, pleasantly surprised.
That wasn't true -- they were completely different. Humans were cruel and argumentative creatures that courted war with reckless abandon. But Ben couldn't bring himself to wipe the lovely smile from her face, so held his tongue.
“What about you? What of your own parents?”
Rey let his hand go and slid back into the water. She dipped beneath the glassy surface once more before coming back up with a frown marring her lovely face. “I don't remember much of my mother. I was younger when I got lost and memories fade with time. But she looked like me, I remember that. Long and dark hair that was so beautiful. My sire I have never met and never shall.”
Ben started to row again. The soft currents had begun to slowly make the boat turn. “Why not?” Maybe they were conceived like fish? But Ben refused to believe that Rey had been hatched from an egg. The whole thought was strange and outlandish and it made him feel odd.
“Because he is human,” Rey shrugged. She paused by the bank to pluck a daisy, staring down into its cheerful sunny middle.
“What-?” Ben gaped for a moment, hands slipping upon the oars. Human? Her father-? “Your father is human-? How can that be possible? You're a… you know.”
Rey began to pick at the flower, removing one petal at a time like a small child playing
he loves me, he loves me not.
They floated around her until the current took them away. “There are no males. My kind, I mean. I do not think there ever has been.”
“So you reproduce with human men?” Maybe that was where the legends of the sirens came from? Ben wasn't an expert, but he knew enough of the tales to make an educated guess. Stories claimed that the beauties of the deep lured in their male prey to drag beneath the ocean and drown. Usually for fun, or to eat. Or both.
A chill crept down Ben's spine as an errant thought came to mind; what if those ancient sirens didn't just kill their victim, but raped them also? They were ocean creatures after all. How else would they copulate with a male human?
Perhaps Rey wasn't helping him, but herself? She was very sweet and kind, but was that just a front for her much darker intentions? What lay behind that smile that made his heart gallop?
But… hadn't she already had her chance with him? Ben thought of Rey beneath the lake, smiling as she reached out and touched him. Then she had saved him, not done unspeakable acts and drowned him.
Rey didn't strike Ben as a monster. But what did he know? He was just a man, and only the hollow shell of one now.
Rey confirmed part of his theory with a nod. “We lay with humans, if that is what you are asking. It is the only way we can have children.”
“Where are you taking me?” Ben asked suddenly, breath coming out in a harsh gust. “To have your way with me until I am useless to you? To father your children and nothing more?"
Where the hell had that came from? Ben regretted his words the second he uttered them.
Rey's expression darkened and her hand shot out, stopping the boat. “I've told you already that I am not a monster. And furthermore, I have no interest in shedding my tail and venturing onto land to share your body," she snarled lowly, eyes flashing dangerously. "I am not a siren of old."
“Then why bother with me? Talk to me with such kind words if you're not interested in following your instincts and biology? I am prey to your kind.”
Rey scowled, her tail twisting sharply as she expressed her intense displeasure at his words. “Because it's the right thing to do? You're as lonely as I am. Can you not feel that? Humans and mer are like light and dark, always drawn to one another. I have a human heart within my breast and it feels as strongly as your own.”
Ben bowed his head a fraction. “If you truly don't mean to harm me, then please accept my apologies. I have only heard tales of your kind, and not all favourable.”
“Then perhaps you should take the time to get to know me?” Rey suggested rather irritably, slapping her tail upon the surface and showering him with river water. “Rather than making assumptions about me from your old tales about water demons.”
She had a point -- he'd jumped to conclusions knowing nothing but stories and hearsay. It was like judging the entire human race on the actions of a few.
“I'm sorry.” He truly meant it as well.
Rey slowly deflated and nodded, her tail once more lazy beneath the water. “It's fine -- I have heard frightful tales of humans. Stories I'm not sure are real or old legends.”
Ben chuckled lowly. “Then why don't we talk about them? Tell each other the truth and strip away the myths?”
Rey grinned.
So they did. And it was fascinating to say the least. Ben settled the boat next to the bank and tied it off so the gentle current didn't float him away. He readied his rod in the spot Rey suggested and casted out.
Rey told Ben of the Sirens of old while they waited for a bite. Vicious creatures that could lure even the most hardhearted man to his watery death. In return, Ben told her of the cities and how they no longer actively hunted down whales and other sea creatures.
“They talk constantly of plastic in the ocean now.” Ben felt a knocking on his line, but nothing took a bite. Then Rey frowned and he realised his oversight. “Plastic. It's uh… like stone, but softer. It doesn't break up or erode over time. Fish choke on it and the whales swallow so much that they end up dying. The oceans are filthy now. Clogged and so full of waste.”
Rey's expression was nothing less than heartbroken. “How can this be possible? The Great is so
vast.
”
“We call it pollution. It affects every single part of the ocean. Like the cities, the whole world is overpopulated now to the point that we're destroying our very home.”
Rey dove beneath the water without warning and vanished. Ben immediately felt bad about upsetting her. A predator she was, but one with keen feelings and emotions. He should have held his tongue, should have-
A fish smacked him in the face. Hard.
For a moment, Ben's vision went white tinged with red.
While he was still reeling from the assault, a hand pressed to his stinging cheek, Ben heard laughter. He grumbled unhappily, looking up from the dead salmon by his feet to where Rey floated, still laughing to the point he was sure she'd end up crying from mirth. “What was that for?!” he asked reproachfully.
Rey hiccuped, a hand pressed against her heaving chest. “I'm sorry! I was aiming for inside of the boat!”
“Well, your aim is terrible. God, that hurts-!” But then he started chuckling; had he just been hit in the face by a fish? Thrown by a mermaid of all things? Ben started to laugh as well, Rey's infectious giggles spurring him on. Ben couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed so long and hard with no care as to what people thought. A weight on his chest lifted and it felt so
good.
Like he could breathe again.
Rey was still giggling by the time he stopped laughing, tears in his eyes. “I really am sorry, Ben. I thought you might be hungry, and you're such a terrible fisherman that I worried that you might starve.”
He wouldn't stave, but it was very sweet of her to worry. “Thank you. I can't eat raw fish like you, but I'll roast it later.”
Rey nodded, a fish in her hands. “I've never tried anything roasted. Is that when fire is involved?”
“Yes. It's delicious, I'll bring you some down to try tomorrow.”
Her eyes widened. “Really? You would?”
“It's the least I can do -- you did catch it.”
“Wow. Thank you.” She bit into the fish. Ben did a double take at what he saw.
Rey had teeth. Not just the pearly whites of a human, but a set of jagged shark's teeth also. They slid down from her gums to cover the human ones during the initial bite, but Ben saw them clear as day. He still continued to watch as Rey devoured her fish, utterly taken aback at how such a beautiful woman could eat in such a messy, unrefined manner. Like she really was a shark.
It was just another thing that separated their species.
Rey sighed happily, closing her eyes as the sun shone through the canopy. She shifted to float upon her back, letting the sunshine warm her skin. Neither of them said anything until the sun finally started to set and they made their way back downriver to the lake.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Thus began a new routine that Ben quickly fell into: he'd wake up at dawn as he usually did and perform his familiarl morning activities. But when he trudged down to the rickety old jetty, Rey would be waiting. He had to be careful getting into the boat, for Rey had developed a mischievous side and loved nothing more than to rock the boat from below when he was climbing into it. She hadn't sent him overboard yet, but that didn't stop her from trying.
Ben found her more endearing than annoying. Rey was bright and cheerful in a way he had never seen in a human woman. She laughed easily, and that alone was often enough to prompt him to join in.
Rey was also an excellent huntress and fisher in her own right. She took his net every morning and sank beneath the water, darting around beneath the boat and filling the net to the brim with fish. Ben couldn't recall the last time he had felt so well fed and happy.
They went upriver every day and moored at their usual spot at the bend. Ben began to bring the metal rack from his grill so that they could cook their fish on the bank over a small fire pit that he had dug, the smell heady and delicious. Rey couldn't get enough of his grilled fish.
She was very easy to be friends with. Ben looked forward to seeing her smiling face each and every morning.
A month later and he still felt the same way about the lovely mermaid. Rey was his little secret, hidden beneath the surface of the lake.
“Where are you taking me?*
Rey grinned as she looked back at the boat. “It's a secret! And hurry up or we'll never get there before dark.”
“You're not the one rowing,” Ben grumbled, jiggling the oars to make a point. “Why don't you come up here and give me a hand?”
“No thank you.” Rey threw herself into the air like a joyous dolphin, splashing down and promptly soaking Ben. It didn't bother him to get wet anymore -- he was used to it. Rey wasn't shy about wetting him, but at least he dried out fast enough. Summer had arrived at last.
He looked down to his sleeping bag, still confused.
Come out tonight with me,
Rey had asked with a secretive smile that morning. She'd said nothing else, but Ben's interest was sufficiently piqued enough to dig out his father's old camping supplies to accompany her up the river.
The forest grew thicker and the river narrower. Soon, Ben had to use the overhanging trees to propel the boat forward. When it got stuck, even Rey was forced to give the boat a nudge from behind. She made sure to keep reminding him that the trouble was worth it.
Finally the river began to widen and Rey announced that they had arrived. She sped ahead, nothing more than a shadow beneath the surface. Ben heard the crashing of water, the sound growing ever louder until he cleared the reeds.
A waterfall. It was huge, splitting into three separate cascades as it tumbled down the rock face. Ben gasped and looked up, eyes widening at the rock encircling them. It was like a cave made of trees and water, completely cut off from the rest of the forest. Only the sky was clearly visible, a periwinkle blue scattered with clouds.
Rey's bobbing head led him over to a scrap of grass on the right side, a clearing within the trees. He climbed out of the boat and just gazed at the scene in quiet awe. It felt so warm. So cheerful and bright. If anything, the place reminded Ben of Rey. This was where she lived. It had to be.
The mermaid herself swam over. “Do you like it?” she asked hopefully.
Ben nodded slowly, still looking around. There was so much
life
. If it wasn't flowers and lily pads, it was birds and insects. Dragonflies hovered lazily above the water's surface before zipping off.
“It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.”
Almost
, his head supplied after a moment. As gorgeous as the place was, it paled in comparison next to Rey when she smiled. She was… something very special when she smiled. Ben felt like the outside world and his troubles didn't exist when he was with Rey. He was just a man, and one at peace with himself for the first time in years.
Rey looked to the waterfall. “I want to show you something. Can you swim?”
“Of course.” Ben chuckled, tossing his sleeping bag onto the soft grass.
“Then come
on!”
Rey urged almost impatiently. “It's only tonight when the moon is full.”
The moon-? He had no idea what was happening anymore. Ben just went with it, trusting Rey blindly. She'd never given him cause not to.
Ben kicked off his boots and shed his socks. After setting them down neatly in a pile, he shucked off his shirt and added it to the heap. He was left only in knee length khakis and his father's dog tags around his neck on a length of sliver chain. He tied his hair back loosely for good measure, having no desire to spend the evening picking each individual strand off his face when it got wet and stuck.
“The water isn't too cold is it?” Ben turned back to the water, rubbing at his bare arm. He looked down at Rey and-
She was staring right at him, eyes fixed upon his chest. At first Ben thought her looking at the dog tags, but no. No, she was ogling him with her lips slightly parted. Staring so intensely that Ben felt himself shift awkwardly under her gaze. “What?”
“You're so… big?” Rey floated closer, still looking. She cocked her head slightly. “I've never seen a human male without their clothes on. I wasn't expecting you to be so…”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “So what?”
“It's nothing,” Rey muttered, tearing her gaze away and turning around so that her back was to him. “Get in the water already.”
Mystified, Ben obeyed and waded into the water. He gasped loudly; the coolness of the water was a shock to the system. It definitely wasn't as warm as he'd been expecting. Ben shivered, then took the plunge in submerging himself completely for a moment.
“Fuck-!” Ben shuddered a little, raising his hands and smoothing back his hair. “How do you stand this cold?”
Now that they were eye level, Rey seemed even more normal. She frowned and came close enough that Ben felt the swish of her tail beneath the water. “It feels fine to me.”
“Yeah? Well my balls are freezing,” Ben huffed, kicking his legs and hoping the activity would stop him from turning into an icicle.
Rey's endearing frown only deepened. “What are your balls?”
What was his-! “It doesn't matter,” Ben told her hastily. The girl clearly knew nothing about anatomy and he wasn't going to be the one to tell her about it. She still kept her breasts bare at all times, but Ben scarce noticed them anymore; it was just another part of what made her Rey. They were very nice, perfectly sized for his hands to cup, but-
He shut those thoughts down before they could travel to his cock and harden him despite the cold water.
That
was definitely not something he wanted to try and explain to her.
Rey led him over to the base of the waterfall and looked up at it. Ben blinked hard as the spray peppered him. “Do you trust me?” she asked, extending a hand towards him.
He took it without hesitation, his large hand dwarfing her slender fingers. Ben nodded. “What do I need to do?”
“We're going through the waterfall. Under and behind it. Just don't let go of my hand and you'll be safe.” She bit her lip nervously, looking down at their joined hands.
“Rey, I trust you.” Ben squeezed her fingers, inclining his head slightly. “Lead the way.”
She nodded, small smile tugging at her lips. “Take a deep breath.”
Ben hadn't been expecting Rey to be so strong. The second he took his breath and dipped beneath the water, she flicked her tail and propelled them forwards towards the waterfall; it smashed into his back like a freight train and immediately forced the air from his lungs. But Rey merely redoubled her grip on him and shot them upwards.
He came to the surface spluttering, coughing up water. Rey thumped him hard on the back, grimacing. “Sorry! I forgot that you cannot retain air.”
Ben shook his head, still coughing sporadically. “It's fine. Really, it's fine.” Looking around, there wasn't much to see. They were floating in a small dark cave, no rocky outcroppings or surfaces for him to pull himself onto. He trod water at Rey's side squinting through the gloom. “What is this place?”
Rey looked up and Ben followed her gaze; he spied a small opening above them, a sliver of deep twilight leaking through. “This lake is special to my kind. They'd bring their young to Jakku and teach them to swim and catch food. I grew up here too. When the moon is full, this place would call to us.”
“Call to you how?”
“You'll see,” Rey replied mysteriously, a wide grin spreading across her face as she spied his look of puzzlement.
Ben hoped the spectacle started soon, or he was going to freeze. He shivered a little, rubbing at his bare arms.
“Ben?” Rey asked in a quiet, almost timid voice, “can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why don't you have a mate? You are very good looking, kind and brave. You would sire many strong children with a suitible mate. Any woman would be blessed to have you.”
Ben overlooked the fact that she thought him all those things and pondered her question for a long moment. Why didn't he have a woman? Probably because he had never bothered. He was either in another country or too busy for such a thing. Love… was complicated. It had set his teeth on edge as a younger man. As a hotblooded soldier he'd been more concerned with fucking as many women in different countries as possible, intent on racking up a decent number for bragging rights. Yes, he'd always won that battle, but the older he got, the more Ben didn't care about meaningless sex. It had been so long now since he'd felt the sweet warmth of a woman. No one had ever drawn his attention as an older and much wiser man.
Well, except Rey. But Ben still wasn't certain just what kind of friendship they had. There was… something there. He'd be a fool to deny it. She was so special.
“I find love difficult,” Ben admitted slowly. “I have never found it, despite being with many women. No one has ever come close to making me feel something. Anything.”
Rey nibbled on her bottom lip slightly. “What does ‘love’ mean? I've heard of it before.”
“Love…” Ben sighed, the sound echoing around the cave. “It's an overwhelming feeling. A sensation deep in your chest, in your being. Love is when you cannot bear to be away from that person. That losing them would utterly break your soul apart. They are two parts of a whole, meant to be together. That is what love is.”
What it was supposed to be.
Rey laughed softly, voice trembling a little. “Love sounds beautiful.”
“Yes,” Ben agreed, tone quiet. “I suppose it does.”
Beneath the pair, the water began to glow a bright iridescent blue. Ben could only watch with wide eyes as something started to float to the surface, twisting and turning lazily in the currents. When he caught sight of Rey's face, she was grinning. Looking back to the water, Ben reached out a hand and gently scooped a glowing form into cupped palms.
It was a little seahorse. Upon closer inspection, Ben saw that the creature was actually transparent and the glow was emanating from within its chest. He let his hands flatten and the seahorse flitted away.
Rey giggled, utterly surrounded by the glowing creatures. They seemed drawn to her. One hooked its tail around her little finger and sat there quite happily. She looked magical, utterly beautiful bathed in the gentle light, her eyes sparkling like sapphires. Rey flashed him a shy smile and Ben felt something within his broken soul stir.
Ben finally found his tongue again. “I've… never seen seahorses like these before? “
“Oh?” Rey blinked and smiled again. “I didn't know that they had a name. Seahorses. I like it.”
They stayed there for what felt like hours, surrounded by the shining creatures. But while Rey cooed over the seahorses, Ben's gaze was fixed firmly upon her. It would be very easy indeed to fall in love with Rey. Maybe he already had? Her heart was so kind and pure, and that sung to him in a tone far sweeter than any song.
“Rey-” Ben reached out and gently placed a hand upon her arm. She turned her attention back to him, a quizzical expression. “Thank you,” Ben said softly. “For showing me this. For being so patient and incredibly kind. For being my friend. It means more to me than you could ever imagine. “
Rey's soft and beauteous smile returned. “You mean a lot to me too, Ben. The only humans I've encountered have either tried to kill me or capture me. You… you don't see me as an animal. An inferior creature. Thank you.” A splash of water and she threw herself at him, pressing her bare breasts against his own and wrapping her arms tight around Ben's shoulders. After stiffening up at the initial and unexpected touch, Ben let himself relax and return Rey's embrace. He pressed his face into her hair, smelling sea salt and something almost like the ground after a good rainfall.
“Ben,” Rey whispered, almost afraid, “you won't leave Jakku, will you? I… I don't want to be alone anymore. I hate being alone so much it hurts.”
“Never,” he promised quietly, hand stroking her back in long, soothing strokes. “I don't think I could ever leave you now. Don't worry Rey, I've got you.” Breath trembling slightly, Ben pulled back to gaze into her face. He was startled to find tears in her red rimmed eyes. “Don't cry,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
Rey shook her head, sniffing back more tears. “I've never felt this happy before in my entire life,” she laughed shakily, taking a deep and steadying breath. “I want to… I… “ Rey swallowed hard, raising a hand and gently tracing a line across Ben's bottom lip. Her breath caught in her throat. “I want something,” she whispered, eyes fixed upon his lips.
“I do as well,” Ben assured her, fingers splayed across her cool and wet back. “But not here. I'm really cold now.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow,” Ben promised, in a daze.
Rey nodded, eyes finally looking from his lips to his eyes. “Come on, let's go.”
He barely slept that night, tucked away in his sleeping bag and staring up at the stars. Rey had curled up upon the bank, head on her arms and half her body still submerged beneath the lake. It didn't look remotely warm or even comfortable, but Rey had assured him that sleeping in such a way was how
she'd always done it. Ben wanted to drape a blanket over the girl. Something. Anything.
When morning came, he was still tired, sleep having eluded him until the wee hours of the dawn. Rey caught fish and he roasted them on a spit over a cracking fire.
It was a very quiet morning. Ben wondered if Rey's thoughts about the previous evening were as turbulent as his own.
He should have kissed her there and then, not fled like a coward. Like he was some deserter fleeing warfare. Ben had run into gunfire before, so why did this feel even more terrifying, yet exhilarating? It was utterly maddening. His cock had been rock hard nearly all night, yet he'd not so much as brushed a finger against it. Punishment, Ben called it. For his foolishness.
Plus he didn't need Rey waking up and seeing that.
“What's it like, having legs?”
Ben flipped the fish over before the skin stuck to the metal. He glanced over at Rey where she lay in the shallows, staring up into the endless green canopy. Her tail swayed lazily in the currents. “What's it like having a tail?” he teased halfheartedly, relieved that she had broken the silence first.
Rey groaned, closing her eyes. “I mean it seriously. What is it like? “
After popping a hunk of fish into his mouth and chewing on it thoughtfully, Ben shrugged a shoulder. “I'm not sure I could describe it correctly.”
“Try?” she pleaded softly.
Ben took the grill off the fire pit and moved to sit next to Rey, his bare feet slipping into the cool shallows. He'd worn his knee length shorts that day, legs comfortably bare. “Freedom,” Ben said quietly. “I don't think I can say much more. With legs, you can jump and climb. Run and dance and do things that you could never imagine.”
“Freedom.” Rey looked down to her tail rather sadly. She sighed. “Do you think I have that? Freedom?”
How could she? She was trapped in a pond like a precious Koi carp. Rey could leave, but at the same time, she couldn't. She was held back by her longing for her long lost family.
He hated it. Hated that she chose to stay in Jakku. She deserved to be wild and free, exploring the oceans far beyond the horizon. Rey wasn't a creature to be kept in a tank like a pet, to tame and admire. The girl was… she was beautiful. Kind and thoughtful in a way that simply didn't exist anymore. It had damn near broken Ben's heart when she had once admitted that she didn't know what the word ‘friend’ meant. Rey had then called him her friend. Her very first friend. Ben went home that night and almost cried for the poor creature. To be
that
lonely…
Like himself, he'd realised. Ben could tell his mother that he was happy with solitude, but the painful truth was that he hated it. He'd just been too proud and stubborn to even admit it to himself.
“No,” he replied softly. “Not while you are trapped in this lake.”
For a long time the only sounds were the clear rushing of water and leaves rustling in the breeze. A warm gust of wind caught Ben's hair and lifted it briefly. Rey sighed and shifted into the water. She dipped below the line and resurfaced a little distance away with her hair slick against her head. “I don't know how we gain our legs,” Rey despaired quietly, but loud enough to carry on the wind.
“You want that?”
Silence, then she nodded, eyes near pleading. “I do. I… I do want it. So very much. To explore the land I have only seen, never touched. Will you help me, Ben? “
“Always,” Ben promised. And he meant it.