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Spock knows it is entirely illogical to claim that his feet have a mind of their own, but nonetheless, he cannot account for how his aimless walking, a process he often found most useful for meditative purposes, resulted in him standing outside Captain Christopher Pike's quarters at 0200 hours, ringing his door.He only has a few seconds to begin mentally debating whether or not the captain will even be in before the shiny door whooshes open and the grey haired man is blinking blearily at him."Spock?"He sounds utterly baffled and Spock feels his heart quietly begin to pound quite insistently against his chest. It's a very human feeling. He does not like it."Captain. My apologies for disturbing you at this late hour.""That's quite alright," Pike responds, although Spock can hear the sleepiness in his tone and feels a stab of guilt."May I come in?"Pike nods immediately and gestures for Spock to enter. It's a very utilitarian room, not unlike Michael's that Spock had derided just a short while earlier, but he can spot a few homely touches – an indigo coloured blanket hung over the back of the sofa. It looks to be handmade, an interesting contrast to the Starfleet issue grey furniture. A framed picture sits on Pike's glass table, flicking periodically between shots."My grandma's dog, Kellie," Pike says with a grin, noticing Spock looking. "You have done pleasant things with this space," Spock says, feeling some modicum of unease creeping over him again at his unexpected presence in this man's space. "Can I get you anything? A drink?"Spock feels his mouth quirk upward into a smile again. It's the second time since he arrived on Discovery, both because of Captain Pike. He can't say he's blind as to why as he politely declines the offer, sitting next to Pike on the grey sofa following the man's welcoming gesture. Being in the presence of the man in normal circumstances is overwhelming, but entering his private space and seeing him dishevelled from sleep in such light cotton clothing is a whole other story. Spock silently reprimands himself for not having considered how illogical it would be to seek counsel from a man he finds so unutterably attractive."How can I help you, Spock?"Spock realises he's clenching both of the hands resting on his knees and pulls his gaze up to the captain. He is being rude, he realises."F-forgive me, sir. I know the hour is an unsocial one.""That's...quite alright. Is everything okay?"Pike's eyebrows furrow with intrigue and Spock feels his heart rate quicken again. He abruptly rises to his feet, unaware he's done it until he's upright."I'm sorry, captain. I should not be here." His voice sounds strange to his own ears as he starts for the door, desperate to hurry away, away, away."Wait, Spock!"Pike's hand is on his arm and he feels rooted to the spot. A weird mixture of emotions settle over him, the only one he can seem to identify in the swirl being shame."I want to help," Pike says softly, and he slowly turns his face back towards the other man, unable to look at him just yet."I am not sure you can," he allows himself to admit quietly."Tell me what you need."It's now or never. With a shaky breath, Spock allows himself to look up slowly, until he is meeting Pike's direct, confused gaze."I need you to kiss me," he says, his voice ragged with emotion.
