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The bear pirouetted through the air, the very picture of ursine grace, spinning out the dance of a tired and world-weary traveler, who, having seen more than a fair share of the harsh reality of the world, gently resolves to sleep in the security of a warm and comfortable bed, limbs giving up their duty to uphold the body's frame and body throwing itself to sweet oblivion. In dreams of a lighter place, a gentler world, one where it had not just been punched in the face, the bear landed in the snow in a crumpled heap. But such dreams are, alas, not for us to know. Let us rewind to where we may watch with more context. The bear awakens from dreaming to flip unceremoniously into a fist, which retracts. The bear leaps backwards as if lunging in reverse – in fact, exactly like lunging in reverse – into a crowd of its bear brethren. Running in reverse, a pugilant prisoner backs into the snowy, broken ruin of the prison building. A guard is un-mauled, loses an expression of surprise and terror, to be replaced with anxiety – all of this, of course, beneath a face-concealing iron helmet – as he moonwalks back into the building to un-check what is un-going on outside. A villain un-departs, a dragon is un-mounted, a speech un-given, another guard is un-murdered, and two prisoners are un-released. Events before this become hazy and indistinct as the story, at last, begins to un-rewind.
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Nepeta groaned, the cacophony in her head slowly coming into focus. It sounded like a voice, but not the pleasantly shouty voice of Karkat. This was a voice that was unpleasantly shouty. She protested as she rolled around on the cold, hard cell bench. The voice came again.
“Hey. Khajiit.” The guard rattled the bars a little as Nepeta groggily sat herself up and blinked a few times. “Or whatever you are, no more time for catnapping. It's time to get back on the move.” They had been traveling for... how long? All she remembered was the feeling of having been forced on a journey to somewhere, the feeling of being... displaced? She resolved to try and remember better over the course of the day, if her thoughts would manage to become less occupied with how cold this land was. The sky on Alternia has always been blazing hot during the day the few times she had tried to witness the outside, and temperate during the nights; so why was this land, apparently at the rim of the sky itself, so cold? She had no further time to contemplate before the guard unlocked the door to her cell and his companion unlocked the door to the cell adjacent to hers. She looked to the side, trying to recall through the haze exactly who it was she was traveling with. “Excuse me, since y9u didn't seem like y9u were receptive t9 a dial9gue a69ut this last night, which I understand, as it was late, I was w9ndering if this m9rning might 6e a 6etter 9pp9rtunity f9r us t9 have a c9nversati9n a69ut the wh9le guard-pris9ner p9wer structure that y9u're perpetuating here. After all, we all have t9 travel this r9ad t9gether, and fr9m the l99ks 9f it, it's rather inh9spita6le, s9 it w9uld 6e in 9ur 6est interests if we w9uld all c9nsider each 9ther peers – 9f c9urse, n9t peers in the sense 9f kn9wledge, f9r I am sure y9u kn9w a fair 6it m9re a69ut winter survival than I 9r my friend d9, 9urselves 6eing f9reign t9 these parts and y9urselves 6eing, I presume, l9cals (and d9 f9rgive me if I am mistaken here) – and 9nly when we have arrived safely at 9ur destinati9n sh9uld we s9rt 9ut what is the pr9per avenue 9f acti9n t9 take regarding 9ur respective needs and laws and such.” Oh, right. “We may need to shut this one up during the journey, just in case his rambling attracts the wolves,” laughed the guard standing in front of Kankri's cell as he opened the door and pulled out binds. The guard in front of Nepeta concurred as he did the same. As the guard approached, Nepeta stared at the ropes he held and glanced around her cell. What were they being bound for, she could not recall, nor even how they had gotten to this frozen land in the first place. She sensed that this morning routine had happened before, perhaps multiple times, along a relatively standard journey to bring in prisoners from the borders, and yet this particular time seemed more real than those before, as if they had been illusory, fake, nothing but bad dreams or last-minute roleplay backstory. Those other times, she resolved, didn't count. “:33 < only one purrson is allowed to tie me up,” she asserted, standing up to face the guard, “and you are not – shit did i just say that out loud?” Nepeta's interruption of her own thoughts was abruptly interrupted by a more physical intrusion as a dragon burst through the ceiling. It was a mixture of black and dark purple, with a body made of a mixture of angular segments and flat planes. It seemed blocky, as did the debris its rude intrusion threw across the four shocked figures inside the building. Stone broke off in cubes, each one a fragment a meter across, yet somehow smaller than it was as part of the roof. The guards shouted, restraints forgotten as they grasped for weapons. The dragon roared as it its segmented neck twisted to take in the interior. Nepeta leaped to her feet and looked around for an improvised weapon. The troll in the red sweater calmly stood up and began droning. “The f9ll9wing serm9n will c9ntain a few triggers, which I shall endeav9r t9 n9te as we c9me to them. As we 6egin, I w9uld like t9 n9te trigger warnings for vi9lence.” He drew a sickle out of his strife specibus. “As well as 6l99d and g9re.” Effortlessly he spun around and gutted the guard in his cell. “And death.” The dragon loomed above, leering at the grisly work. “N9w, 6ef9re y9u say I just murdered this pers9n, let me explain y9u a thing. Making a snap judgment 6ef9re learning a69ut s9me9ne's situati9n is the r99t cause 9f nearly all s9cial ills. Let's say y9u had just walked int9 this scene with9ut seeing it directly. 9f c9urse y9u might think I was the perpetrat9r 9f this deed, 6ut y9u w9uld 6e jumping t9 c9nclusi9ns that w9uld 6e unjustified and lead t9 s9cial strife. What if I had killed this man in self-defense? What if I had merely happened up9n him as y9u happened up9n me? What if I was, in fact, investigating this scene in 9rder t9 6ring the perpetrat9r t9 justice? Such p9ssi6ilities are thr9wn t9 the wayside when y9u decide t9 judge 6ef9re engaging in dial9gue.” >The remaining guard just stared as his day continued to go from bad to dragon. Nepeta stammered, “:33 < but we just watched mew kill him. why the hell did you kill him!?” >“It's the principle 9f the thing, Nepeta, and I think 6y the time I finish this serm9n – prefera6ly with9ut any additi9nal interrupti9ns, if y9u w9uld 6e s9 kind – y9u will ex9nerate, me, 9r even agree with my judgment. N9w, I w9uld like t9 issue s9me general trigger warnings f9r racism, a6leism, 6l99d caste discriminati9n, and similar systematic 9ppressi9ns. These systems are, predicta6ly as per my previ9us asserti9n a69ut snap judgments, all 9ppressive due t9 h9w they enc9urage judging s9me9ne 6y easily-96served qualities that are unrelated t9 their true situati9n in life. Such evidences are circumstantial at 6est, and the ease with which they are used is wr9ngly th9ught t9 6e a measure 9f their effectiveness. I h9pe y9u see n9w why this 9ught n9t 6e the case. “N9w, let me address the n9ti9n 9f c9llective resp9nsi6ility. S9cial c9ntract the9ry thr9ugh9ut the ages has identified the citizen as never merely a passive participant in the functi9n 9f the s9ciety; indeed, that citizen is resp9nsi6le f9r keeping that s9ciety in line with th9se ideals 9n which it was f9unded. Great thinkers such as Tr9ll J9hn L9cke p9inted 9ut that a g9vernment must have the c9nsent 9f the g9verned, and that when the 6asic f9undati9ns 9f a s9ciety are vi9lated, it is the right – nay, it is the duty – 9f each and every citizen t9 9verthr9w that g9vernment. T9 d9 9therwise is t9 c9nsent 6y inacti9n t9 the wr9ngs perpetrated 6y the g9vernment, t9 6e an acc9mplice in its evil, t9 6e implicated in its charade 9f righte9usness and veneer 9f auth9rity. If y9u d9 n9t want t9 6e resp9nsi6le f9r the wr9ngs 9f a c9llectively resp9nsi6le s9ciety, y9u must right them.” “:33 < you furgot to give a trigger warning for your BULLSHIT,” Nepeta yelled, clenching her fists like her palms were the only part of the situation she could keep a grip on. “Tag y9ur language, and please st9p interrupting me while I explicate free and 9pen disc9urse. N9w, where was I? Ah, yes, c9llective resp9nsi6ility. I 6elieve I have sufficiently made my p9int. N9w, let us return t9 what I have said a69ut snap judgments. These systems 9f 9ppressi9n are fixtures 9f the s9cial landscape, all 6ut c9dified as part 9f a s9ciety that deigns t9 call itself just, as if it c9uld in such a state even appr9ach justice! We take it f9r granted that a s9ciety that includes any c9ncept 9f justice must n9t all9w itself the indulgence 9f injustice at the expense 9f the less f9rtunate, and thus d9 I state: I implicate each and every 9ne 9f y9u as c9-c9nspirat9rs in the m9st devi9us 9f crimes, the perversi9n 9f justice. Every 6ias n9t acted up9n, acted up9n, 9r enacted; every instance 9f discriminati9n and preference; every hateful and malici9us th9ught, w9rd, and deed; every crime, every murder – all of these y9u are held acc9unta6le f9r, unless y9u su6mit t9 the quest 9f purging these undesira6le elements 9f s9ciety. “9f c9urse, 9n 9ne hand, t9 d9 s9 is t9 d9 as I have just n9w. I acted n9t as myself, 6ut as the karmic hand 9f retri6uti9n that 6r9ught all 9f this guard's crimes t9 6ear up9n his head. T9 call me the murderer here is t9 mistake the fl9w 9f acti9n and reacti9n. This is what judgment l99ks like. This is the price that the herd must pay f9r c9llective c9nsent t9 the injustices 9f s9ciety. 9n the 9ther hand, it is still I wh9 has d9ne the deed. I cann9t and sh9uld n9t 9verl99k the fact that my hand has wr9ught this acti9n 9f justice. 6ut this I have ch9sen 9f my 9wn will. The herd kills 6y means 9f s9ciety and thinks itself free 9f guilt, while I kill 9f my 9wn will and accept the resp9nsi6ility. Truly, damned if y9u d9, damned if y9u d9n't; must 9ne n9t 6ec9me a killer t9 punish a killer? 6ut the 9ne wh9 has ch9sen t9 kill stands 9ver the 9ne wh9 has ch9sen t9 deny, f9r 69th stand equally resp9nsi6le and yet the denier has the gall t9 claim hands that are cleaner, unstained with 6l99d! T9 c9mmit the same crime and yet stand in denial 9f it – this 9ne 6el9ngs in a l9wer circle 9f hell than the 9ne wh9 stands 6ef9re the judge and admits t9 the crime, and d9es s9 pr9udly. F9r 6y the disjuncti9n 9f acti9n and inacti9n all in this w9rld must 6e damned, s9 why heap up9n y9ur misf9rtunes the surrender 9f y9ur will s9 that 9thers may 6l99dy y9ur hands f9r y9u?” Kankri hoisted himself from the cell door to the top of the bars, then leaped around and on top of the dark and rectangular dragon. It paid him no mind and continued to breathe menacingly below, a blocky face of malice framed by the falling snow that had begun to coat the interior. “Deny y9ur will, deny y9ur life,” Kankri continued. “Take up y9ur will, take up y9ur cr9ss, take up y9ur life. If in the karmic and equivalent exercise 9f justice, it must itself 6e unjust, then the ultimate truth 9f the w9rld is simply p9wer. N9 matter y9ur purp9se, n9 matter y9ur ideals, it will always c9me d9wn t9 p9wer. Deny it in w9rd if y9u can, 6ut deny it in deed y9u will never 6e a6le t9 d9.” “:33 < kankri what is this all about? whats the point?” Nepeta asked. “S99n y9u will g9 9n a j9urney, Nepeta. 9n this j9urney y9u and I will struggle, we will fight and pit 9ur wills against each 9ther, and in the end I will win. I will win 6ecause either I will 9verp9wer y9u, 9r y9u will 9verp9wer me, and n9 matter what happens p9wer will win 9ut. Try as y9u might, y9u cann9t av9id this fundamental truth. S9 fight it if y9u will – y9u will 9nly fight f9r it. And with every life y9u take, remem6er: I am there, watching, judging, taking n9te 9f y9ur hyp9crisy.” Kankri leisurely looked around from his perch atop the dragon. “All 9f reality is c9llapsing 9n itself, and I aim n9t t9 6e 9ne 9f the herd that c9nsents t9 such a thing. I will find 9ut what it is that is causing this, and I will take it up9n myself. If y9u want t9 st9p me, y9u will have t9 tear y9ur way thr9ugh unt9ld w9rlds, cause unseen destructi9n, perhaps d9 m9re damage than I c9uld have d9ne myself. In the meantime, I leave y9u t9 find y9ur way 9ut 9f this particular c9nundrum.” Giving the house and surroundings one last look, Kankri, smiled, nodded to himself, and flew away on the Ender Dragon. Nepeta and the guard stood speechless. “The collapse of all worlds, huh? What could he mean by that?” the guard mused, somewhat lost by the recent turn of events. “I guess we'd better check what he meant by 'this particular conundrum'. Stay here for a moment, prisoner, I'll look outside.” The guard walked to the door with sword drawn and cautiously exited the ruined prison. Knowing better than to split the party, Nepeta followed and peeked outside the door. The prison was surrounded by an army of bears. Shrieking in terror and surprise, the guard fell to the ground as the bear in the lead mauled him. “:33 < looks like all that time I spent hunting back on alternia is going to come in handy,” Nepeta mused to herself as she broke out of the doorway at a run. The bear roared. The others joined in chorus. Nepeta hissed. The bear left its victim to lunge at the lithe catgirl, and the lithe catgirl leaped towards the bear. Kankri's words about power and killing still echoed as Nepeta left her claws retracted and instead wound back her arm. The bear soared. Nepeta spun. Her fist flew through the air and connected with the bear's jaw. The bear spun like a ballet dancer, and to an observer, may have seemed to float in the air for a moment, suspended, the very picture of ursine grace, before falling heavily to the snowy ground. The rest of the bears circled warily. Nepeta eyed them and cracked her knuckles.
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Nepeta huffed one last time as she stepped out of the epicenter of the bearsplosion, daintily leaping over recumbent bodies. With all sense of normalcy annihilated, the most surprising thing that could happen would be for nothing more surprising to happen at all. Pulling her coat closer around her, she shivered. Cold wind insinuated through rents in the olive fabric stained a deeper olive. Summitting one of the bears, Nepeta stood tall in the wind and looked around. Snow and trees as far as the eye could see. The road was visible, but the storm was growing worse; a day's travel through such conditions would be fatally dangerous. Turning back to the prison-slash-way station that, prior to a dragon happening to it, would have been an attractive option for shelter, Nepeta began to despair. She looked back the the bears and started thinking about her cave back home. Warmth, furs, blood, shelter. As the perspiration staining her blue cat hat coalesced into crystals, her thoughts coalesced into an idea. But as she opened her specibus to select a claw for the job, she heard an eerie noise on the wind. Panicking, she jumped down from her bear perch and spun around, listening for where it was coming from. Kankri's voice, a whisper from all directions, cackled victoriously. “:33 < what do you want with me!” she screamed into the white void. “what purrpose could you possibly have! i swear, if you didnt remind me so much of karcat, id...” She stopped short. What would she do to him if she could, but that which he had already concluded? And if she could only do as he had already predicted, she could only dig herself deeper into the hole. Damned if you do, damned if you don't – he was right, there was no way to beat him at his own game. Nepeta stood up again and shouted into the storm, “:33 < do you hear me, kankri?? you have to be wrong! you cant be right!” She fell down into the snow among the fallen bears. “he cant be right...” Their warmth was comforting, but she knew that their mood when they awoke from their beating would not be. Perhaps their warmth would be just inadequate enough that she could fall asleep and not worry about what would happen when she woke up. “It seems another mortal has reached the edge of their ability and must call on my aid”, boomed a deep voice from behind her. “How the twists and turns of fate repeat themselves.” Nepeta spun around to find herself face-to-not-quite-a-face with a wretched abyss, a deep slimy green void from which sebaceous tentacles and ogling eyes bled into reality like a poisonous gas diffusing into a pristine room. “:33 < who are you?” asked Nepeta, dumbfounded and pretty much done with being surprised at anything. The voice of the Daedric Prince rolled on. “I am Hermaeus Mora, the Gardner of Men, knower of the unknown, master of fates. What you seek is knowledge, knowledge that will give you power to defeat the one who has left you here. Such knowledge is my... purview.” “:33 < well, if you have all the answers, tell me this. where am i?” Heavy laughter slid through her head as oily as the tentacles that slid by it. Nepeta flinched as one nearly brushed her cheek. “All knowledge has its price, mortal. I will offer you a deal, knowledge for knowledge. Tell me, where are you from, and I will answer in kind.” “:33 < how do i know i can trust a weird and gross and cr33py-sounding purrson i met in the middle of nowhere?” “I will always properly reward those who have served me. So say I, Hermaeus Mora, master of the tides of fate.” Nepeta let out a deep breath. She did not have very many other options. “:33 < fine then. im from alternia. now where am i?” “Alternia! I know of every land and town in Mundus and I have never heard of somewhere called Alternia. But your form is unfamiliar to me, so perhaps your words are not falsehood. Very well. You stand at the border of Skyrim, a mighty northern land, on the plane of Mundus.” Nepeta's head swam with Mora's slippery tones. Kankri was right again, worlds were colliding as reality collapsed. She wasn't on Alternia, or even in Sburb anymore – this place was so far beyond where she belonged that she had no idea of where to start. Her moment of inner crisis was interrupted by an intruding slimy protrusion, and she fell back onto the bear by reflex. “What are you?” “:33 < purrdon?” she said, standing up in the not-face of the Daedra. “You are not Man or Mer. What are you?” “:33 < im... im a troll. we are the species that lives on alternia.” “How intriguing. This opens so very many... possibilities.” “:33 < um... what are you?” “I? I am a Daedric Prince, a being of godly power. In your world, stranger, do you have gods?” Nepeta thought for a moment. “:33 < not really, but there is this one white asshole who is purretty close.” Mora mused for a moment before the eyes refocused on Nepeta. “Such geographical trifles are not the whole of what you seek. Tell me, what other questions do you have?” Nepeta stood before the abyss and thought. Kankri had weighed justice and found it wanting. Without a way to escape the condemnation that he found necessary, he decided to take it into his own hands. But he had to be wrong somewhere along the line, else what use would anything – everything – be? She could not accept that he was right; she had to prove him wrong. Looking back up at Hermaeus Mora, she resolved to start getting to the bottom of this mess. “:33 < why is reality falling apart?” “Is it? That would explain why fate has brought one so alien to me, but I do not yet possess the knowledge of what particular catastrophe it is you speak of.” Nepeta's critical stare led him to continue somewhat bitterly, “Very well, you can have that statement of ignorance without cost.” Some ursine groaning around the blast radius and a nearby body shifting reminded Nepeta of how precarious her current situation was. She needed to rethink her strategy. “:33 < what is justice?” The same oily laughter. “Mortals have always reached for ideas like justice, but in the end that is all they have ever proven to be. Dreams to reach for, but ephemeral nonetheless. There is no real justice.” Dammit. “:33 < purrely theres something that can be called – ” “Patience, mortal, let us keep parity in our answers. It is my turn to ask. What is it that you seek?” “:33 < i...” Nepeta paused. She would almost have rather asked that question herself. In her indecision, she could almost feel the gaze of the manifold eyes take on a tenor of malicious glee. “I will simply ask another question if you do not have an answer.” Nepeta started. Yes! That was it! “:33 < no! an answer. i seek an answer.” An answer from one Vantas or an answer to the other, though at this point which one was more important was slightly less certain than previously. Mora rumbled. “The mortal thinks itself clever! What would you give up for that answer?” Nepeta was unsure but knew better than to say so out loud. She could buy herself a little time to think, though. “:33 < hey now, you just asked a question! its my turn right now.” The abyss remained dispassionate while Nepeta tried to buy some time for a question that would buy her some time for an answer. After a brief, uncomfortable pause, Mora broke the silence that surrounded the two of them in the storm. “If it is your turn, you should ask a question.” “:33 < without justice, how can one overcome power?” “What an fascinating question. I think I can ask another question as my next question, and the answer will be the same. So I will answer your question with my own: what creates its own justice?” “:33 < thats not an answer!” Nepeta pouted. “On the contrary, I think either one of us could answer both questions with but a word, and from your questioning, I know that you know what that word is. My turn.” Nepeta protested but fell silent. She could think of a word, all right. “Now, I repeat my previous question. What would you give up for an answer?” Nepeta stood up tall, faced Hermaeus Mora, opened her mouth, and the storm was rent with the sound of sanity splitting. The eyes emanating from the abyss spun around, searching the landscape for the source of the terrific din. The wind had stopped blowing every which way and now began to fly at full speed up the mountain slope. A dreadful rumble rolled over both of them, followed by silence and stillness. Suddenly, the wind fell back down the mountain tainted by an acrid stench and carrying a horrible crystalline chewing sound. The bears all started awake at the same time, a primal fear in their eyes as they stared up towards the approaching catastrophe. A great crack echoed out as a piece of rock split from the mountain and tumbled down from precipice to precipice. The bears alternately limped, rolled, or leaped away as it bounced one last time high into the air and began a fatal descent directly towards where Nepeta was standing. Her eyes widened as her brain struggled to keep pace with reality. The rock accelerated in a manner perfectly consistent with gravitational attraction as the primal parts of Nepeta's brain finally gave up trying to appeal the higher functions and staged a coup to try and get things moving. “:33 < HOLY SH-”, accompanied by a cringe, was all she managed to get out before the impact. Snow rained down from the rock's landing, covering bears and evaporating as it touched Mora's materialization. The tentacled manifestation floated there for a moment before the booming voice said to nobody in particular, “That would have been tragic if I had not foreseen it coming.” Nepeta opened her eyes to whiteness. Her body felt sore, like she had been hit by something rather heavy traveling very fast. Suddenly, she felt herself being pulled backwards. Fluttershy hauled Nepeta out of the snowbank and looked around. Motors spun and gas hissed from pneumatic joints as her red eye spun, analyzing the image and refocusing. Her cyberware diagnostics finished running and she began walking around, tending to the wounded bears. A strange device glowed from her side, where it was attached to her extensive body cybermodification. Nepeta sat up and stared, and for the second time in as many minutes, there was a brief pause before one of them broke the monotony of the crunching background noise. “What. Is. This,” shouted Hermaeus Mora, sounding for all the world like he had just finished memorizing a book only to look up and see the rest of the library. “What force beyond my knowledge pulls the tides of fate beyond my reckoning?” “Oh, sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Fluttershy,” the cyborg replied. She continued to stand timidly. “Who, um,” she paused, looking from the grey-skinned troll in the olive longcoat to the eldritch apparition, “who are you?” “I am Hermaeus Mora, the Gardner-” Mora began before Nepeta interrupted him. “:33 < were you the one who tackled me out of the way of that rock?” she asked as she jumped towards Fluttershy, excited by the prospect of making a new friend who was not an inscrutable, near-omniscient, and slightly malevolent quasi-deity. “Oh, yes, you looked like you were in a bit of a tight spot, and I had jet boosters, so, it all seemed to work out. Um, can I ask, were you the one who beat up all these bears?” “:33 < *ac thinks we are going to get along just furramously!*” said Nepeta, beaming, as she pounced and hugged Fluttershy around her semi-mechanical neck. “my name is nepeta, where are you from?” “Nepeta? Oh! She mentioned – bzzt – that, we, should, get, out of here soon.” Nepeta raised an eyebrow at the buzzer that had gone off inside the cyberware on Fluttershy's head. “This place won't be safe for much longer.” As if to corroborate her words, another great peal echoed out as something very large and very solid gave way to something much larger and uncomfortably close. The ground quaked. “You. Mortal of metal. Tell me what is happening,” demanded Mora. Fluttershy looked up from where she was giving instructions to one of the bears in fluent Bear. “Well, um, it's a long story, but I guess I can give you the short version. There is something very bad and very hungry on the other side of that mountain. I've been following it, and I can tell you that we need to get away from it before it gets here.” She looked around. “These poor bears! I wish I could do something for them right now, but even if eight of them teamed up they would still need to be able to fly to fight it.” “What is it that lies beyond these mountains of madness? You must tell me. I must know.” “There's no time!” Fluttershy looked frightfully up at the sky over the mountains, which had turned a sickly orange. She growled a last instruction to a bear, which led the others away, carrying the wounded. “Come with me if you want to live, mister tentacles!” Nepeta jumped on top of Fluttershy while Mora roared, “I am the Daedric Prince of knowledge! I will know what approaches!” “I have watched too much be lost to question your decision,” Fluttershy stated simply and engaged the device on her side. The wretched abyss that was the manifestation of Hermaeus Mora stood – well, floated more than stood – alone on the slopes in front of the ruined prison. There was so much more than he had ever expected – no knowledge he had ever taken for Apocrypha had ever hinted at such strange and alien worlds as had come tumbling onto his very doorstep – and such knowledge they held! So many secrets to pry, so many whispers to hear. One great secret remained here to be learned, one that mere mortals had fled from – but Hermaeus Mora, the Prince of Fate, would soon learn what it was that strange creature had kept hidden. All eyes turned upward as it crested the hill. Emrakul, the Aeons Torn, the greatest of the Eldrazi Titans, effortlessly annihilated the mountain before it as it hovered across the outreaches of Skyrim. If it thought to look below it would have beheld another betentacled otherworldly monstrosity – a match made in heaven, or rather, in the places of madness the very knowledge of which would drive you mad, mad I say! – but Emrakul did not think. Emrakul hungered, hungered for life and mana. And as a god of forbidden knowledge went mad from the revelation, Emrakul looked down and had another bite of the delicious plane.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
After the electricity died down, Nepeta sat up from where she was lying. Her hair and her furry blue tail were poofed out, and she tried somewhat in vain to push them back down as she looked around. There was no snow, no Hermaeus Mora, no bear refugees. There were also no slopes. The hills around her were blocky, going up sheer for meters at a time between spaces of completely level ground. Stark lines that divided topsoil from rock moved across the larger faces, turning at right angles as they went. A square sun slowly inched its way across the blue sky, clear save for similarly-angled clouds. Nepeta looked quizzically at Fluttershy. “:33 < what the hell?” “Oh, I guess now that we're safe, I should explain myself,” Fluttershy said as she walked over next to Nepeta and sat down. “I come from a world called Equestria. It was a very nice and peaceful place, full of ponies like me. But something happened to the walls between worlds, and they started bleeding into each other. Some of my friends disappeared into other worlds, and some other things ended up in mine. There were three monsters that came from another world called Dominia, and they were started devastating the landscape. Legends say that they eat even the life and magic from a world before moving on to the next one! I can't imagine what will happen now that they can cross beyond those walls to every world. Anyway, our magic was almost useless against them, until the Marquise came, and taught us about a lot of things. She's really nice, and really smart, and just kind of the 8est at everything. She helped us fight them off. Well, some of them. At least one of them left Equestria, and so because she wants to defeat them rather than just send them away she gave me this device,” she indicated her side with a mechanical hoof, “that lets me jump between worlds to follow it. It's not really a perfect world-hopping device, though, so it mostly jumps through the nearest or biggest hole that something else tore as it hopped worlds.” A look of confusion passed over her face as if recollecting a distant memory. “Well, actually, the Marquise didn't give me the device as much as have it attached without asking, and now that I think about it, she didn't give me a choice about getting all these machine upgrades either, and she actually pushed me into the portal the first time.” A look of panic, shock, and horror dawned. “Nepeta, I – bzzt – really, should, bring, you to see her! I think you'd get along really well.” Fluttershy paid no attention to Nepeta's quizzical looks as she continued, “Anyway, the one I've been following is the meanest of the three. I've followed it across several worlds already, and every time, it devours all the life and magic and then moves on. And just think, Nepeta, there are two others just like it, and that's just from one world! There could be entire universes of horrors being unleashed on other worlds full of innocent ponies and animals. You should come with me to meet the Marquise, we need all the help we can get if we want to try and solve this mess.” “:33 < sure! solving this mess is basically what im trying to do right now as well. can you tell me more about the marquise? she sounds a lot like one of my furriends.” “Well, besides what I already said, she...” she trailed off, eyebrow wrinkled in thought. “I guess I can't describe her very well. I don't remember anything very specifically.” A thought occurred. “She did mention that – bzzt – you, should, be, our ally because we need all the help we can get.” “:33 < well, okay then. as long as were traveling together, can i ask you a sort of d33p question?” Fluttershy's remaining biological cheek blushed as she looked away bashfully. “Oh, um, I don't really know anything about those sorts of things. I'm not really a clever pony. But I do know that most of the time, the answer is just love!” “L9ve? What a terri6le answer,” rang a voice from behind them. Nepeta spun as she leaped to her feet. Fluttershy looked around as her red eye spun, trying to focus on the source of the voice. With a wheezing, groaning sound, like a time machine with the emergency brake on, Kankri's sweater appeared on the ground. Both of them stared. “N9w, if y9u'll all9w me,” said Kankri's arms as they filled the sleeves, “I have a small serm9n prepared,” continued Kankri's head as his arms pulled the sweater over it, “9n the t9pic 9f l9ve, and its multitudin9us failings,” he finished as his legs extended from the bottom of the sweater. He stood up and brushed himself off. “:33 < what” was all Nepeta could manage in her surprise. Kankri looked around leisurely. “Ah, this w9rld. I see y9ur w9rld-h9pping device is rather 6asic, s9 I surmise that y9u f9ll9wed my previ9us trail here 6ringing the drag9n t9 Skyrim. Well, Minecraft is a fine place t9 watch the end 9f all things, s9 I can't fault y9ur decisi9n, alth9ugh I must pr9test if y9u decide t9 take advantage 9f y9ur curve privilege here.” He glanced at Nepeta rolling her eyes. “Y9ur preci9us Karkat's n9t here, if that's why y9u came.” Nepeta started. “:33 < what do you mean?” “He, t99, was pulled fr9m where he 6el9nged t9 6e thr9wn 9ut am9ng the infinite expanse 9f w9rlds. Just like y9u and I were thr9wn int9 Skyrim – well, myself m9re 9f my 9wn design, 6ut n9 matter – and Equestria received the Eldrazi as well as... well, I'm sure y9u'll find 9ut eventually. It will suffice t9 say that chance has n9t 6een kind t9 y9u, n9r Karkat, and I have n9t 6een kind t9 chance en9ugh t9 let it al9ne.” Nepeta pounced on Kankri, throwing him to the ground, and held her extended claws to his throat. “:33 < well guess what, motherfurker, you just made this... purrsonal.” Kankri laughed. “C9nceding already, Nepeta? Kill me and I win this little c9ntest.” Nepeta growled as she sheathed her claws but remained on top of Kankri with fist raised. “:33 < what is power, r33lly?” “P9wer is the a6ility t9 c9nf9rm the w9rld t9 y9ur will. P9wer is what y9u have when y9u c9nquer a f9e, what y9u lack when y9u cann9t d9 what y9u will, the means 6y which y9u make reality int9 what y9u desire it t9 6e. A wise man 9nce said, 'life itself is essentially appr9priati9n, injury, c9nquest 9f the strange and weak, suppressi9n, severity, 96trusi9n 9f peculiar f9rms, inc9rp9rati9n, and at the least, putting it mildest, expl9itati9n ', and in that lies the essence 9f p9wer. P9wer is the p9wer t9 win.” “:33 < if power is just the power to win, then isnt your whole argument a circle? power always wins, and whatever wins is power.” “As I explicated at length previ9usly, h9w we arrive at p9wer is n9t related t9 what wins, 6ut t9 the parad9x 9f injustice. Since p9wer is revealed as a m9re fundamental truth, that is what we l99k t9 in such evaluati9ns. The circle that y9u have p9inted 9ut is n9t a circular argument, 6ut rather a definiti9n, 9r a taut9l9gy, s9mething that is necessarily true, as it is a statement 9f a fundamental truth 9f the w9rld. N9w, since it is the fundamental truth 9f the w9rld, let me explain t9 y9u why l9ve is itself su6ject t9 explanati9n thr9ugh p9wer, and why as such it is n9t an answer. Imagine that I am Karkat, and y9u have just leapt up9n me am9r9usly.” Nepeta jumped backwards off of Kankri faster than she had pounced, stumbled, and fell on her back. Kankri stood up and brushed himself off again. “As y9u can see, it t99k very little eff9rt 9n my part t9 free myself, 6ecause I t99k advantage 9f an existing p9wer structure. L9ve is just that: a p9wer structure. Traditi9nal definiti9ns 9f l9ve – and a trigger warning t9 th9se 9f y9u wh9 are triggered 6y discussi9ns 9f traditi9nal definiti9ns 9f l9ve – will generally 6e al9ng the lines 9f self-sacrifice, in that the l9ver is willing t9 sacrifice 9ne's 9wn well-6eing, material g99ds, time, et cetera f9r the g99d 9f the 6el9ved. This is a curi9us n9velty am9ng 9ther such p9wer structures, sharing qualities with a few 9thers like nati9nalism 9r parent-child relati9nships, in that it is 6y the will 9f the l9ver, n9t the 6el9ved, that the l9ver is su6ject s9 t9 the 6el9ved. This makes it in s9me cases an inc9nsistent fashi9n t9 keep p9wer 9ver 9ne, since the c9ntr9l itself is n9t su6ject t9 the 6el9ved's c9ntr9l, 6ut it is undenia6ly p9werful and useful t9 have p9wer with9ut needing t9 renew its exercise. 6ecause y9u l9ve Karkat, y9u have a weakness where6y y9u are willing t9 su69rdinate y9ur will when he is c9ncerned. Y9u all9w him t9 h9ld y9u in his p9wer, even if he d9es n9t realize it – and n9, n9t 'h9ld y9u in his p9wer' in the way y9u're thinking a69ut right n9w.” “:33 < that is most definitely not what i was thinking about,” Nepeta lied. “Ahem. Y9ur feelings f9r Karkat are y9ur weakness and I expl9ited them. Fr9m such trivialities is p9wer 9ften derived.” Fluttershy stepped forward crossly. “That's a horrible way of thinking about love!” she exclaimed. Nepeta looked at her and shrugged. Kankri looked at her and also shrugged. “That is h9w the p9wer structures w9rk 9ut, whether 9r n9t y9u can accept the facts.” “You talk about how love and justice and all these things are worthless because they can't defeat the bad things without becoming bad themselves.” “Indeed, such things reveal a deeper truth than either 9f them.” “Tell me, do you think that a city, or an army, or a gang of bandits or robbers could act at all if they all fought each other?” “Well, n9, 6ut-” “But if they didn't hurt each other, they might act together as a team?” “F9r the sake 9f argument, yes, th9ugh-” “And this is because injustice divides and creates disharmony, and justice unites and creates harmony and friendship; is this not true?” “L99k, P9ny Plat9, just 6ecause-” “And if there were injustice among many, would it not make them hate each other and set them against each other and stop them from working together?” “Certainly, 6ut they w9uld 6e missing-” “And if even two ponies are unjust, will they not fight and make enemies of each other, and of the just?” “Well, 9f c9urse, s9-” “And if injustice is in even one pony, will she retain her natural power or lose it?” “Speaking fr9m experience, retain, and even-” “But when injustice is in a city, or an army, or any other body, that body can't work together. Does injustice not do these things to any such body?” “Are y9u even-” “So is injustice not equally fatal within one pony, because that pony is in disharmony not only with the just, but also with herself? “SILENCE, W9RM!” Kankri roared as a bird-like sigil flashed in his right eye. Fluttershy stopped abruptly, eyes open wide. A fan whirred down to a stop as the light in her red cybernetic eye faded, and she fell over stiffly. Kankri stood over her haughtily and proclaimed, “Certainly, th9se wh9 are 6latantly unjust t9 all will c9me t9 ruin if they d9 n9t exercise s9me cauti9n in their dealings. Y9u are c9rrect that the unjust 9ne will pr9fit fr9m acting, 9n the wh9le, justly, 6ut this d9es n9t preclude the unjust 9ne fr9m taking advantage 9f what m9ments pr9vide greater gain f9r injustice. 9f c9urse, if 9ne is just 9nly f9r gain, and will 6e just t9 acc9mplish unjust ends, is such justice n9t itself injustice? And if neither injustice n9r justice, 6ut rather a mixture 9f 69th, is what is m9st p9werful, then neither justice n9r injustice can 6e ideals.” “:33 < what did you do to her?” Nepeta shrieked as she ran over to Fluttershy's motionless form. The Geass sigil shone in Kankri's eye as he smiled. “The Seal 9f A6s9lute C9ns9lidati9n all9ws me t9 take p9wer away fr9m th9se I l99k in the eyes. Usually it applies t9 th9se p9wers that are rather a6stract, 6ut s9metimes it can 6e m9re... c9ncrete.” He punctuated his point with a kick to Fluttershy's metal flank. “I find it an appr9priate t99l f9r 9ne wh9 seeks t9 fight 9ppressi9n. It's a little iffy 9n th9se wh9se p9wer c9mes fr9m s9cietal c9nstructs like privilege, and it's n9t like I'm seeking t9 gain privilege myself, 6ut there is always an9ther way t9 deal with that s9rt 9f pr96lem.” “:33 < youre a monster, kankri,” Nepeta muttered as she looked for vital signs or status gauges. “I merely search f9r the truth. The 9nly difference 6etween me and y9u is that I am h9nest with myself a69ut what that truth means.” With a flourish he pulled himself into his sweater-TARDIS, and it disappeared. Nepeta took a deep breath, ignored Kankri's departure, and opened an access panel on Fluttershy's side. Inside various moving parts were still, except for a single red light. “:33 < well, that looks promising,” she hazarded, reached inside, and pressed it. Fluttershy coughed as various cybernetic pieces whirred to life. Nepeta quickly withdrew her hand, closed the panel, and moved to where Fluttershy could see her. “Oh, you found the emergency backup power. That's good,” she laboriously whispered. “:33 < oh noooooo," Nepeta cried. “can we fix this?” “Well, ah, there is good news and there is bad news. The good news was that whatever Kankri did, it didn't drain the emergency backup.” “:33 < and the bad news?” “The emergency protocol should have jumped me back to Equestria, in case I needed urgent attention. The fact that I'm still here means that the world-hopping device is out of power.” “:33 < well, can you recharge it?” “Unfortunately, it was charged with magic energy by Princess Celestia herself at the behest of the Marquise. I can't recharge it, and without any magic charge, I might run out of emergency backup power too.” Nepeta hopped to her feet. “:33 < don't worry, fluttershy! ill find some way to recharge your magic batteries somewhere in this world, and bring it back here if necessary!” “Cower, fools! Merasmus the wizard is here!” boomed a voice from behind them as an organ played a haunting tune out of nowhere. “:33 < well okay, scratch that last purrt.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nepeta turned around and looked at the wizard standing behind her. He was tall, cloaked in black, and holding a staff. He was looking around the forest of square trees for something and occasionally muttering to himself and rubbing his bald head. Nepeta walked up to him and tried to get his attention. “:33 < um, excuse me?” she asked timidly. The wizard spun around as an eldritch green glow surrounded him. “Cower, fool! You gaze upon your doom!” Nepeta shrieked and jumped back. He saw, softened, and stopped glowing. “Oh, I thought you were one of those blasted mercenaries. My name is Merasmus, how do you do?” “:33 < oh, uh, i am fine, how are you?” Nepeta responded cautiously. “Tell me, have you seen a R.E.D. Spy around anywhere?” Nepeta stood with a quizzical expression on her face. “:33 < what does a red spy look like?” she asked. “Weeeellllll,” Merasmus said, “he can look like anyone, and probably anything.” Nepeta gave him a blank look. “He has stolen my hat, you see. This is a very grave matter.” Nepeta perked up. This must be the part of the journey where she receives a Quest! Funny it would be about something as innocuous as a hat, but maybe this hat is a big deal. “:33 < well, as it turns out, i have a very grave matter to attend to as well! my furriend has a power supply that n33ds to be charged with magic. if i track down the spy who stole your hat and get it back, will you help her?” “You think Merasmus to be well actually that sounds like a good deal. The hat is kind of like a ram skull, with two horns, and also it was forged in Hell and feeds on souls.” “:33 < okay!” Nepeta said. “...where did you last see him?” Merasmus sighed and looked defeated. “Don't you get it? He could be invisible,” he said as he shot a blast of magic off in no particular direction. “He could be this tree,” he said as he blasted a tree into splinters. “He could even be – you!” he said as he pointed his staff at Nepeta, who shrieked and jumped back again. “Ha ha ha!” he laughed. “But actually, why don't you just try that way.” Nepeta watched Merasmus walk off into the forest to continue searching before setting off in the direction he had indicated. She soon broke out of the forest into a mountainous biome and began climbing to get a better look at her surroundings. She could see where the clearing was where Fluttershy lay persisting on emergency power and the forest extending to the horizon that Merasmus was searching through. Looking out, the land seemed to go on forever. “:33 < hmmm,” Nepeta mused to herself. “if i were a spy, where would i want to be?” “Right behind you,” came a voice from behind her. For the third time, Nepeta shrieked and jumped as she turned around. Before her stood a tall man in a muted red suit. His face was mostly concealed by a balaclava of similar color that revealed only his eyes and mouth, which he soon adorned with a cigarette from a smart case. On top of his head sat a hat matching the description Merasmus had given. As he put the case away, he pulled out a butterfly knife and began spinning it around his finger in an evocative fashion. “Tell me, what does the catgirl want?” said the sultry French accent. “:33 < are you the red spy?” Nepeta asked warily. “Ha! The wizard wants his hat back. Well, mon cheri, you can tell him he looks good bald.” “:33 < please, mister spy! i really n33d the wizards help to save my furriend. you have friends, right?” “Oh ho ho! Please, stop, you're killing me! Do you think those in my profession have friends? No, I have acquaintances and colleagues, and most of them are idiots. Your friend is not important to me.” Nepeta stared and the Spy stared back. “If you do not have any further business, I will continue my campaign of not getting killed by a wizard. Good day to you.” He turned to leave. “:33 < wait!” The Spy sighed and took one last look back. Nepeta was kneeling, clutching her blue cat beanie in her hands, looking up at him with kitten eyes. “Oh please!” The Spy rolled his eyes. Nepeta kept staring. “:33 < purretty please?” came the request from deep and soulful pools welling with tears. “That's not going to work on me,” declared the Spy resolutely. He received only a gaze that could melt the frozen hearts of a hundred icy dictators ruling over frosted tundra with iron fists. If the look emanating from Nepeta's pathetic eyes were thermodynamic, it would be the majority cause of global warming. If it were electric, it could defibrillate an entire hospital. The affectionate responses to a thousand kitten posters would be dwarfed by fangirling over Nepeta's stare. The Spy felt before him a presence innocent enough to return every one of the nine mercenaries back to their childhoods. It would probably kill the Pyro on sight. As he stared, unable to tear his eyes from the sight, he felt his dark and twisted heart being assuaged, his very soul melting out through his eyes. It was as if he was transfixed, those cute, kitten eyes boring deep into his soul, until he had come to his last defenses, locked himself deep inside, and turned around to find himself still face-to-face with those abyssal ruptures into another dimension, a dimension filled only with sugar and spice and bunnies and kittens and rainbows. An inexplicable horror crawled over him, and as he fell further into himself he screamed without a sound. “:33 < ill give you this hat to replace it,” came a voice pulling him out of darkness. “I'll do it!” cried the Spy. “Now stop looking at me like that!” “:33 < yayyy!” exulted Nepeta as she pranced around the Spy. “come on now, we've got no time to waste!” She pounced down the hill. “Get back here, you freakishly adorable dumbbell!” he shouted as he followed. From the shadows of the forest out of sight, Kankri Vantas sat with company watching Nepeta pass through with company of her own. A black notebook rested lightly on his lap; a pen twirled between his fingers. In sharp letters on the cover read the title: DEATH NOTE. Glancing at the figure hovering behind him, he looked from the worn blue pants to the unkempt teal shirt to the semi-bearded face bearing remarkably blank eyes. Herobrine chuckled a little as he waited for the mortal before him to start down the road beginning with using the Death Note. Kankri turned back to the two travelers he was watching, twirled the pen one more time, and clicked it. “Nepeta... Leij9n,” he said to himself. “Hmph. It w9uld 6e t99 easy t9 make the final pr99f here. She must see the truth 9f things a little m9re clearly 6ef9re she dies.” He twirled the pen. “For one who sold his soul for the Death Note, you seem remarkably reserved about killing,” Herobrine uttered in a ghostly and grave tone. Kankri felt a shiver attempt his troll-equivalent spinal anatomy. “If you think that you might avoid the fact that he who uses the Death Note does not go to Heaven or to Hell, then perhaps dealing in souls is where you should have stopped.” “Heaven d9esn't exist,” Kankri said absentmindedly as he stared intently at the Spy, who was now sitting down in a clearing with Nepeta and explaining something. “Pe9ple 6elieve in it as a functi9n 9f what it represents, namely, the essential karmic reward. A place 9f perfect life and justice.” Closing his eyes for a moment, he stopped twirling the pen and adjusted his grip on it. “6ut what d9 y9u d9 with a place of perfect justice,” he continued as he wrote in the Death Note, “when justice itself is a lie?” He finished with a flourish. “Heaven is a lie that distracts the weak fr9m the true face 9f reality, the primal supremacy 9f p9wer. In an unjust w9rld, Heaven is unnecessary. 9nly when y9u 6uy int9 the lie d9 y9u need t9 acc9unt f9r the great discrepancy 6etween what is and what y9u think 9ught t9 6e. A last place 9f perfect justice at the end 9f a l9ng list that 6rings the tally even, a m9ral c9sm9l9gical c9nstant.” Kankri stood and looked aside at Herobrine. “D9n't p9llute my auricular sp9nge cl9ts with talk 9f Heaven, death g9d. The w9rld d9es n9t suffer the just man t9 c9ntinue thus. Nature a6h9rs a vacuum, s9 t9 say, 9f injustice. 6y 9missi9n 9r 6y c9mmissi9n inevita6ly every9ne is p9lluted 6y it. If Heaven really did exist, it w9uld 6e empty, save f9r a l9nely G9d.” Herobrine stared with empty eyes. “Do you think you can be a greater God?” Kankri turned back to watching silently. A brief silence passed. “Damn it,” he said as he looked down at what he had written. RED Spy, read the notebook. Kankri sighed and began writing again. “Clever f9r a man t9 hide his name and his face, 6ut n9t clever en9ugh t9 f99l the reaper. Her96rine, was it? If y9u w9uld...” Herobrine snarled at the proffered notebook. “You think I'll do your dirty work for you? Do what you would to make yourself a god, but don't think that I who owns your soul will bend to your will. Become as great as you wish, but I will always hold you in my power.” Kankri stood before him angrily. “P9wer?” he spat. “Y9u think y9u can trade me p9wer and yet h9ld me?” He shoved the Death Note into Herobrine's hands. Herobrine fell backwards, the notebook landing open to his own name and the circumstances of his death below the useless attempt on the Spy. In shock he looked back up at the dreadful figure standing above him. “H9w can y9u h9ld my s9ul when it has already 6een l9st? I had n9 s9ul to give. N9w 69w t9 y9ur fate and my whim.” Herobrine, shaking, got onto his knees and bowed before Kankri, before taking out a quill and writing in the notebook. A brief look of absolute hatred crossed his unfathomable eyes before he flashed red, fell over, and disappeared in a puff of pixelated smoke. Kankri leisurely gave the Death Note a kick, glanced at where the Spy was lecturing to a rapt audience of one, and pulled himself into his sweater. A moment later his departure echoed on the wind, and ten minutes later the Death Note despawned. “So you see, mon cheri, it all comes down to what each of them looks like on the face of it. If you have a crush on someone and never tell them, it's indistinguishable in the important ways from not having any attraction at all. And yet you stand in the middle, between the world you live in and the world you wish for. If you truly love that person, you would actualize that world, but that's a little far to start with. Think of it simply in terms of the consequences. If the object of your affection says yes, then you have achieved your dreams. Bravo. If the object of your affection says no, then you know that it was never to be, and you can move on. Besides, it is almost uncharitable to imagine yourself in a relationship with someone without their knowledge for a long time. If you think it's a good idea, surely you would want to share it with them?” Nepeta listened intently to all of the Spy's romantic advice. He seemed like he would know a lot about the subject, somehow. She couldn't wait to try and apply it to Karkat. “And so, in conclusion-” the Spy started, then grasped his chest. “Mon dieu!” he gasped before falling over. “:33 < spy!” cried Nepeta as she jumped to his side. She looked around as Kankri's laugh floated on the wind, mixed with the sound of the TARDIS. Frantically, she checked a friend for vital signs for the second time that day. His pulse was gone and he had stopped breathing. She uselessly tried to pump the Spy's chest to restart his arrested heart. Another friend about to be lost – was this really the road she was on? She panicked and spun around as a loud, electrical sound rang out from behind her. The Spy stood over the macabre scene, holding a golden watch. He casually flipped the cover closed and put it back into his suit jacket. Nepeta stared. “:33 < how did...” “Dead Ringer,” answered the Spy. “A most useful device. Now, let us move before the assassin tries something else.” They ran off into the forest. Kankri threw down the limp body of Fluttershy from his shoulder and turned to face Merasmus. “What c9ncern 9f y9urs is this girl, wizard? I didn't think y9u were 9n her side, n9r that y9u c9uld aff9rd t9 in these times.” “You fool!” boomed Merasmus. “That pony is my ticket to getting my hat back!” “This p9ny will 6e whatever I make her t9 6e, given sufficient... encouragement.” “:33 < no, that pony will be your FACE!” came a voice from the forest. Nepeta burst into the clearing with hair wildly tussled and marked by the occasional twig. The Spy calmly entered with little fanfare, wearing Nepeta's blue hat. “Aha! Spy!” exclaimed Merasmus, leveling his staff. Kankri viewed his entrance as a still-living body with brief displeasure. “Don't shoot!” shouted the Spy as he ducked behind Nepeta, who held up Merasmus' skull hat. The hat levitated out of her hands and over to Merasmus, who grabbed it out of the air and put it back on his head. “Hahahahahaha!” he laughed. “Now I have regained my full power!” Nepeta cleared her throat and gestured towards where Kankri had dropped Fluttershy. “Ah, ahem, yes.” Magical power began to gather and swirl around Merasmus and his staff. The sky darkened. “Equus-” “Wizard?” interrupted Kankri. “Invig – yes, what?” Merasmus turned to look at him. “I'm in the middle of-” “St9p.” The Geass sigil flashed in his eye. The magic writhed in erratic patterns before shooting off in every direction and converging on Kankri. Merasmus screamed as power streamed out from him. Kankri stood, bracing himself, as the magic filled his body. When the flow ceased, ghostly flames licked from his body and an aura of power surrounded him. He turned away from Merasmus, who stood shaking in disbelief at the sudden absence of magic, and faced Nepeta. “I h9pe this less9n needs n9 explanation.” He snapped his arm out towards a black rectangular frame sitting on the other side of the clearing. With a metaphysical sucking sound, a swirling purple portal appeared within it. Strange distorted noises emanated from it. With a quick flick of his wrist, he made a motion as if to pull something from it. Obeying his command, the portal constricted, then spat out a large, cubic monster. It was ghostly white, hovered in the air effortlessly, and was nearly (so near as to be exactly) four meters across on each side. Tear stains ran down its perfectly flat face. Dangling tentacles hung from the lower face of the cubic body. Nepeta and the Spy stood ready for battle as Merasmus stood stock-still and Kankri observed it dispassionately. Opening red eyes and letting out a hellish scream, the ghast shot a fireball out of its mouth towards them. Nepeta jumped out of the way towards Fluttershy's body and the Spy jumped the other direction. The fireball blew a small crater in the dirt. The ghast released another unearthly wail as it gazed malevolently on the figures below it. Kankri laughed. “Let's see y9u under-p9wer this 9ne, Nepeta. I'll let y9ur friend's emergency p9wer slide this time.” He pulled himself into his sweater and left those remaining in the clearing to deal with the floating demon jellyfish from hell. The ghast gave another scream and opened its eyes. “:33 < weve got nowhere else to go, jump through that portal!” shouted Nepeta as she lugged Fluttershy with her towards the obsidian frame in a leap. “Are you mad? That thing came from that portal and you want to go find more of them?” cried the Spy. The ghast shot at him and he dodged. “:33 < where theres floating demon jellyfish theres magic!” she shouted as she ran under the ghast and jumped towards the portal. The purple twists spun and enveloped her, and she and Fluttershy were gone. “Oh, merde.” The ghast screamed again and the Spy made a running jump into the portal after her. He passed through and landed on top of Nepeta and Fluttershy in a heap. “I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto,” said the Spy as the pile surveyed the surrounding landscape. Blood-red rock stretched from an unseen cave roof far above down sheer cliffs to vast oceans of magma. Glittering and glowing stalactites grew out of the walls in twisted patterns. Strange upright pig-like creatures hobbled around aimlessly, holding golden swords and lending the air the smell of rotting bacon. They were lying inside a small stone building adorned with torches, a few storage chests, and a rather surprised figure dressed in the same blue pants and teal shirt as Herobrine underneath a set of iron armor. “What the Nether is this?” exclaimed Steve?. “:33 < hello mister miner! are you magic?” asked Nepeta. “Who are you and how did you get into my base?” Steve? remained confused. A sword appeared in his hand. The Spy extricated himself from the pile, stood up, and dusted himself off. “Forgive us for our intrusion, but we are in urgent need of magical power in order to save our equine comrade here.” He gestured to Fluttershy's sprawled form, which now had an ominously blinking red light. “Well, I mean, if you need magic power, you could use your experience levels on that enchanting table over there,” he gestured to a device in the corner, “and imbue magic into whatever you need.” Nepeta hoisted Fluttershy up onto the table. She stared at it for a moment before turning to Steve? and asking, “:33 < i dont think i have any levels i can spend?” “Well, sorry, ma'am,” he responded, “I have to save mine to enchant my diamond pickaxe to deal with all the portals popping up around here now. Someone's messing with the fabric of reality, and I can do something about it if I break the frames.” “I do not have any levels either,” added the Spy. “It appears your contribution is now our only recourse. It pains me to have to ask for charity from a stranger, but this pony is a dear friend of my companion here.” “Look, uh, people, I just met you. I'm trying to stop worlds from colliding, and as much as I'd like to help your friend here, I can't let the entire universe down to save one life. One life against possibly all of them? I'm sorry, I just can't.” He turned back to his crafting bench. “If you can work something out with the materials in the chest, feel free. My condolences if you can't.” Nepeta turned back to Fluttershy. The rate of the light blinking was slowing. Fluttershy seemed to have fallen unconscious to preserve battery power. Nepeta felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes. She lacked what she needed to save her friend, the very thing that, to prove Kankri wrong, she had to lack. Power. For a moment, she wished that she could gain just enough power to save Fluttershy, and her thoughts were interrupted by a scream. Nepeta spun around to find the Spy putting his knife back into his coat as Steve? fell over the crafting table and yellow-green orbs circled the Spy. With a tintinnabulation the orbs disappeared into the Spy. He walked over to the enchanting table. “:33 < what did you just do!” Nepeta cried. “I stabbed him in the back and took all of his experience. Was that not obvious?” Nepeta felt conflicted, but stepped aside as the Spy stepped up to the table. He mumbled to himself as he navigated the GUI, then stepped back. A purple sheen shimmered over the metallic parts, then a motor whirred to life. A fan began to spin, air hissed, and a start-up tone sounded. The red light ceased, and Fluttershy lifted herself off the table. Diagnostics ran and finished as limbs stretched, muscles shaking off the sopor and pistons sliding back into their places. “:33 < how do you feel?” asked Nepeta. “I feel...” said Fluttershy as her red cybernetic eye focused on her and the Spy, “...magical.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Karkat awoke and immediately regretted the decision. He was sitting at a long table in a grand hall, dressed in some sort of black robe. Candles floated in the air, as if by magic. All around him were humans in similar robes in conversation. He looked around. There were four tables, each with its own color scheme, and four banners on the wall. Red, green, blue, yellow. All da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. “Those guys are so fucking hot.” Karkat heard someon saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. “……………….DUMBLEDORE?1!” several students gasped. They were wearing goffik clothes and white foundation. One of the girls was wearing some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so he could see her belly. She was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it. Another was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Another was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. “Hello everyone.” Dumblydore said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?” Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well the goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook thier heads. They couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?” Karkat asked the boy sitting across from him. He was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. “Omg what do you think is happening you prep he responded. “dumbledor is bein a poser” Karkat felt his brain contorting trying to take in everything around him. Everything seemed fragmentary, like reality couldn't describe itself. Somehow, that red-sweatered asshole had managed to ditch him in the stupidest place in the entire multiverse of multiverses. It was like wading through molasses that filled the entire room, except the molasses was actually stupidity. The entire world was made of stupid. The bench he was sitting on was crafted from a long plank of aged stupid, the plate in front of him was fine stupid polished by wet stupid, and the food in front of him smelled like stupid and probably tasted like stupider. Everyone around him looked brain-damaged, like they had come out of the most twisted and malicious imagination ever to ungrace worlds with its perverted intellect. If he had measured the circular plate in front of him, Karkat was sure that pi would turn out to be 3.2. “BTW you can call me Albert.” DUMBLEDORE CALLED AS THE STUDENTS BEGAN TO LEAVE to there classes. “NO, NO, NO, FUCK NO, WHY HERE, WHY THIS PLACE? WHY, YOU PEDANTIC NOOKSTAIN? I HOPE YOUR BLOG COMES TO LIFE, RIPS OFF YOUR HEAD, AND PUKES DOWN YOUR NECK!” Karkat shouted to the magically-imaged ceiling. It should have looked like stars, but he suspected that they were closer to JPEG artefacts. “THIS COULD NOT HAVE BEEN A WORSE PLACE! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL TEAR THIS WORLD DOWN, BLEND IT INTO A SHIT SMOOTHIE, AND FORCE FEED YOU THE ENTIRE THING!” Karkat's proclamations of ruin were met by screaming from outside the Grate Hall. The faculty sitting at the high tables stood up with expressions of shock as the castle rumbled under the impact of some unknown intrusion. The flow of students out of the Hall slowed, then reversed as the impacts moved closer and closer, until breaking through the magical sky above itself Mycetic Spore Pods began to fall into the Hall. As they landed – sometimes not even on students – they broke open, revealing the hideous Tyranid brood within. With the vile Tyranids now beginning a slaughter in their midst, the students began to fight back with defensive magic, as the faculty all leapt over the table and fought back with actually effective spells. Containing the whirling masses of flesh and blades, however, was not an easy task as long as they continued to flow from the sky into Hogwarts. To add to these worries, screams from near the great doors signaled the approach of the horde in its full horror. Tyranid brood began to crawl out of the grand doorway along the walls, where they jumped into the crowd of students to join in the massacre. “FUUUUUUUUUU-” Karkat shrieked as a Tyranid jumped off the table towards him. Just as it was about to eviscerate him, a bright blue light flashed by him and struck the leaping alien, frying it with an electrical sound. It fell to the ground next to him, dead. He looked at it in disbelief. The wall behind the high table exploded, raining stone on everyone in the chaos in the middle of the hall. Hundreds of figures, with what looked like a fleet behind them, hovered in the gap with glowing blue eyes centered on stalks connected to a dome-like head. The stout, boxy silhouettes revealed two arms, one that looked like a toilet plunger and another that looked like a whisk. Karkat would have laughed if one in front had not immediately shouted in a distorted voice, "exterminate!" and begun a volley of electric blue death beams. More shrieks erupted from the Hall as Tyranids and wizards alike began to confront the new menace that poured in from above. Bioweapons sprung from the Swarm and began firing at the Daleks while spells flew through the air. Karkat quickly made himself comfortable behind an overturned table. “OH FUCK, OH FUCK, OH FUCK,” Karkat muttered to himself as he listened to the chaos going on behind his table. The grisly sound of a Tyranid attacking a wizard, the frizzling sound of a Dalek hitting the mark, the explosion of a bioweapon or spell hitting a flying Dalek. Karkat tried to guess by their proportions how the battle was going without looking over, but he couldn't resist peeking around the side regardless. For a brief moment, he saw that Tyranids were still pouring through the doors to the Hall and Daleks were still pouring in through the enormous gap in the opposite wall, before he had to duck to avoid a body thrown in his direction by a Dalek death ray. It came to a rest just next to where he was hiding, and he couldn't resist checking for vitals. “SHIT, MAN, YOU OKAY?” he asked, though he felt a little more in tune with the stupid around him having said so. To his surprise, the boy propped himself up on an elbow and coughed. Karkat found himslef looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that Karkat had to keep himself from throwing up at the sheer wrongness of what he was seeing. “Yeah, I'm okay.” he said in a shy voice. “WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?” “My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled. “WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?” Karkat asked. “Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled. “FUCK NO! I AM SO DONE WITH YOUR SHIT AND THIS SCHOOL'S SHIT AND THIS ENTIRE WORLD'S SHIT. I AM SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT THAT IF THIS WERE SHITTING CLASS I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THE FINAL BY THE FIRST WEEK AND PASSED WITH EXTRA CREDIT. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS PLACE IS SO FUCKED UP THAT I BET THEY EVEN HAVE SHITTING CLASS BECAUSE OF HOW FUCKING RETARDED EVERYONE HERE IS. IT'S A SURPRISE THEY EVEN LET YOU EAT BECAUSE NOBODY HERE CAN SHIT PROPERLY, WHICH IS WHY NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN DONE WITH THIS SHIT BEFORE. BUT LET ME TELL YOU, TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SCHOOL HISTORY, SOMEBODY IS DONE WITH THIS SHIT, AND THAT PERSON IS ME. THIS SHIT IS OVER.” Before Vampire Harry Vampire the other guy could respond, a blade made of bone struck out of nowhere and stabbed him through the leg. Screaming, he was pulled into the horde near the doorway. As he passed out of Karkat's fear-frozen field of vision, a piece of fabric slipped out of his clothes onto the ground. Terrified as Karkat was by the close call, he still knew a Quest Item when he saw one. He grabbed the cloak and examined it. His hands seemed to disappear underneath it, and he smiled. An invisibility cloak was nearly exactly what he needed. Exactly what he needed was some teleportation device, but with the general trajectory of the day this was enough of an upturn. Throwing the cloak over himself, he stood up to examine the situation without having to worry about more than stray shots. The wizards were almost all dead. A few faculty still held out, as did a few of the goths who appeared to have sustained mortal injuries. Karkat guessed that they were vampires, and watched as one of them was hit by several death rays in a row before staggering into the waiting jaws of a Tyranid warrior. He winced involuntarily. There did not appears to be any entrances or exits save the one that the Tyranids currently had a monopoly on, as well as the one the Daleks had made. What he needed was a third option. The battle paused as the whole castle shook. With a crack, the roof bade the walls farewell and a third option looked inside. The last remnants of Hogwarts, the Tyranid horde, and the Dalek invasion fleet all stopped and looked up into the non-face of the second of the Eldrazi Titans: Kozilek, Butcher of Truth. As his heart sank into his stomach, Karkat could swear that the monstrous figure above him was licking its metaphorical lips.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
C.C. awoke and immediately regretted the decision. For an immortal, worldly tribulations like hangovers, headaches, and death usually go away without any further effort. But something that she had grown used to over the centuries was gone, leaving a huge void filled only with aches and pains. She reached up and touched where the bullet had hit her in the head; the blood had mostly dried and her body reasserted itself. But the headache wasn't diminishing. Click. “I see y9u were 9ut f9r nine minutes and f9rty sec9nds. This means the m9del 9f p9wer sh9ck is much m9re like a l9garithmic functi9n 9f ar6itrary units 9f p9wer rather than linear 9r exp9nential, th9ugh c9nsidering h9w p9wer escalati9n g9es, such a result is t9 6e expected. P9wer f9ll9ws 9rders 9f magnitude quite readily, making such a transf9rmati9n achieve linearity. It will 6e interesting t9 see where the C9de ends up.” “My... code?” C.C. mumbled. “With the Seal of Absolute Consolidation... you took my Code?” Kankri stood up and put the stopwatch back into his pocket. “Y9u saw my wish, and yet y9u granted the Geass t9 me. Surely y9u are n9t s9 sh9rt-sighted as t9 miss this p9ssi6ility, 9r did y9u n9t think it within the p9wer 9f the Geass? 9r, may6e, y9u wished f9r it t9 happen.” C.C. chuckled slightly. “You know, you could have just asked when your Geass matured.” “Y9u never explained the functi9n 9f the Geass t9 me when y9u gave it, s9 y9u can hardly expect me t9 kn9w h9w the cycle pr9gresses.” “I would have, had you not decided to go about things this quickly.” “My dear C.C., waiting is f9r th9se with time, and at this rate, n969dy in any w9rld has much time left. Time itself is sh9rt, which is why I must act as I d9.” “Act? Were you thrown to my world my something other than chance?” Kankri smiled and leaned back against the railing. “Let me tell y9u a69ut 6eing stuck at h9me. When I was 6lind t9 the manif9ld w9rlds 9f reality, I lived in my 9wn universe and f9ught f9r its justice. It always 69thered me that justice c9uld never seem t9 win 9ut, 6ecause injustice c9uld always res9rt t9 s9me underhanded tactic and claim vict9ry. And s9 many 9ther pe9ple, even my friends, st99d idly 6y while this happened, as if they didn't care that injustice reigned. Eventually I realized: there was n9 way n9t t9 6e c9mplicit in it. I c9uld 9nly fight injustice with injustice, and if I refused, I w9uld 6e c9mplicit in all9wing injustice t9 remain! It was then that I realized that my prec9nceived n9ti9ns a69ut the nature 9f the w9rld had t9 6e 9verturned. The w9rld is unjust, and s9 is everything in it. It is imp9ssi6le t9 6e just. “When I realized this, I c9nsidered walking away fr9m the truth and turning 6ack t9 the lies I had lived in. 6ut with kn9wledge c9mes resp9nsi6ility, a culpa6ility n9t 9n the ign9rant. I c9uld n9 l9nger live within the falseh99ds that were c9mf9rta6le, I c9uld n9 l9nger stand idly 6y. I had t9 accept reality h9w many 9thers have refused t9 and take c9ntr9l 9f my 9wn destiny. Th9se wh9 sin and deny that they have sinned are deeper in Hell than th9se th9 have admitted t9 their transgressi9ns, and s9 I have admitted t9 mine – m9re than that, I have em6raced them. It is 6etter t9 act kn9wingly in injustice t9 fight injustice than t9 c9ntinue the charade 9f righte9usness that “justice” entails. “6ut what c9uld injustice 6e if justice itself c9uld n9t exist? It w9uld 6e defined in 9pp9siti9n t9 a meaningless term, making it itself meaningless. What then are we t9 l99k t9? I searched thr9ugh hist9ry and literature and s9 9n, and I f9und what lies at the f9undati9n 9f reality. That f9undati9n is p9wer. P9wer is the m9st fundamental truth 9f this w9rld, and I w9uld accept that rather than deny it. If I must 6e damned, I will damn myself.” C.C. looked unconvinced. “I don't think that's quite true. There are other things that are deep truths of existence other than power, like maybe love, or-” “Pah! L9ve? I have given this speech already t9 s9me9ne else with the same feelings, s9 I will spare y9u the full serm9n, 6ut in essence l9ve is the weakness 9f willingly putting an9ther in p9wer 9ver 9neself. In a w9rld where p9wer is already a fundamental truth, l9ve can 9nly 6e an expressi9n 9f weakness, n9thing m9re. Regardless, y9u may 6e w9ndering h9w it was that I arrived in y9ur w9rld.” “I'm not, but it sounds like you're itching to preach.” Kankri continued without notice. “Fr9m events circulating ar9und Tum6lr I f9und 9ut that the w9rld was ending. 6arriers 6etween realities diss9lving, w9rlds c9lliding, et cetera. In my g9al t9 maximize injustice in 9rder t9 destr9y all 9ther injustice, I figured that this was a g99d thing. H9wever, it w9uld n9t 6e my d9ing. This was a disapp9intment. F9rtunately, Tum6lr suggested a p9st t9 me. It was fr9m a 6l9g I'd never heard 9f 6ef9re, 6ut it p9sted pages fr9m the Necr9n9mic9n. When I read these, I f9rmed a plan. I carefully re6l9gged and suggested p9sts fr9m that 6l9g t9 9ther 6l9gs I f9ll9wed 9r t9 my f9ll9wers. I waged a s9cial campaign that surpassed signal-699sted p9sts in scale and su6tlety. And when the final piece was in place, I re6l9gged the final piece 9f a summ9ning circle that w9rked 9ver the internet. 6ut there was a catch, which y9u sh9uld really 6e awake f9r.” C.C. looked up from nodding off. “I reversed the p9larity, if y9u will. I did it in reverse, s9 that instead 9f summ9ning 6ef9re me a creature fr9m an9ther w9rld, it un-summ9ned me 9ut 9f my 9wn w9rld. I can't quite descri6e what it was like – perhaps like walking acr9ss many planes 9f existence 6ef9re c9ming t9 y9urs, perhaps like 6eing stretched thr9ugh a warp tunnel 9r s9mething 9f the s9rt – 6ut whatever it was, it led me t9 y9ur w9rld. F9rtunately, I ended up exactly where I needed t9 6e t9 make a c9ntract with y9u, and d9u6ly f9rtunately, the 9wner 9f this fine vehicle just happened t9 st9p 6y. Y9u see, what is making reality fall apart is that s9me 9f these w9rlds are like cr9ssr9ads and 9verpasses 6etween tw9 w9rlds, where s9metimes 69th c9-exist in the same place and interact with each 9ther. This weakens the walls. And when every 9ther w9rld has s9me threat in it p9ised t9 destr9y everything, well, everything-everything can't help 6ut feel the rever6erati9ns 9f th9usands 9f p9tential w9rld-ending events. Like a virus it spreads until every w9rld falls. S9 I had tw9 ways t9 g9 a69ut 6eing the 9ne t9 end it all: first, hastening the pr9cess 6y jumping 6etween w9rlds, as this ship has let me d9, and pr9v9king an9ther t9 d9 the same; and sec9nd, 6y 6ec9ming the greatest 9f these threats. T9 the first end, I have succeeded in making the h9les larger and m9re numer9us, th9ugh I have n9t 6een al9ne in making this happen. T9 the sec9nd end, I wished, and that is what 6r9ught me t9 y9u.” C.C. looked up from nodding off, but this time with rapt attention. “This was your wish, then?” “T9 amass p9wer. Indeed. And with this Geass, I have already take en9ugh p9wer t9 6ec9me virtually imm9rtal. The 9ne called the D9ct9r, wh9 had the p9wer t9 regenerate. Y9ur p9wer, the C9de, t9 never die. The p9wer 9f a great wizard. The p9wer 9f the Geass t9 take even m9re. If I were any m9re p9werful, I w9uld alm9st have t9 call myself G9d. Alm9st. 6ut he's 9ut there s9mewhere. Perhaps in s9me w9rld he is a panthe9n that walks the earth. Perhaps in s9me w9rld he will appear t9 children in the f9rm 9f a li9n. Perhaps 9ut there is s9me w9rld m9re real than 9urs, s9 full 9f reality that if 9ne 9f us were t9 enter it we w9uld dissipate int9 the wind like a st9ry. 6ut he is 9ut there, and when I find him, I will take his place, and then I will kill him with every69dy else.” “You would make yourself God?” “Why n9t? Ap9the9sis seems pretty entertaining. Just ask the Marquise.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nepeta, Fluttershy, and the Spy jumped from the Nether portal ready to fight; Nepeta with claws extended, Fluttershy with motors revved, and the Spy with his invisibility watch and butterfly knife ready. They came to a stop as they looked around the sterile white paneled room, with no features save for a few warning signs on one wall and a camera on another. “Welcome to the Aperture Science Transfer Capture Containment Initiative,” rang a voice from some invisible PA system. “The test will begin in five seconds. When the test begins, please take note of the bear.” “:33 < what?” wondered Nepeta before a white panel shot up behind them, blocking off the portal. A buzzer sounded, and a panel of another wall slid open to reveal a bear. “Oh, that bear. Of course,” said the Spy. The bear roared. It was pale, almost bright white all over. Unnaturally red eyes glared at the three intruders before it. Nepeta was briefly lost in thought of how it reminded her of the lusii back home on Alternia before she was shaken out of her imagination by the bear barreling towards her. The Spy took a sharp breath, pulled out a revolver, and retreated to the side. “There, there, bear, it's all right, we don't have to fight,” said Fluttershy as she backed up slowly, mechanical parts readjusted themselves for battle nonetheless. Nepeta stood her ground, retracted her claws, and smirked to herself. The Spy fired a few shots. The ones that hit did little but enrage it. As the bear neared, it raised both its arms as if to crush Nepeta in its embrace. She leaped up and punched it hard in the face. The bear fell over and landed heavily. Nepeta landed lithely on top of it. A few patches of fur were stained with teal blood. “You didn't have to do all that!” cried Fluttershy, running over to its fallen form. “Is it okay?” The PA system rang out again, “Thank you for your participation in the Aperture Science Transfer Capture Containment Initiative. The test is now over. Please step into the elevator to move on to the next section of the Initiative while the Party Escort Bot retrieves the bear.” A panel slid back on one of the walls to reveal an elevator-like room. “I'm not sure this is a good idea,” said Fluttershy quietly. “We're trying to find a way back to my home world so we can help the Marquise stop the end of all worlds, right? Maybe we should try another one of those portals.” “:33 < weve been trying purrtals for hours!” Nepeta protested. “i think we should just try trusting the voice, after all, she at least warned us about the bear. the giant flaming eye just stared at us and said something weird, the glowing cloud kept repeating stuff about hail, and the last portal we tried let us out the other side of the portal fifty f33t to the right.” She hopped down from her ursine perch and walked into the elevator. Fluttershy reluctantly followed, as did the Spy. When the door to the elevator closed, a screen popped up on the wall and began playing elevator music. A voiceover began as they felt the room begin to move. “Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, where you are currently participating in the Aperture Science Transfer Capture Containment Initiative. Over the past few days, top scientists at Aperture have detected unprecedented levels of factors determining the end of the universe via world-barrier collapse. The pieces of other worlds which have fallen into this world, designated 'transfers', are currently being collected by Aperture in order to find the source of the end of the universe, as well as advance scientific knowledge by performing experiments of these alien elements.” The elevator stopped suddenly. “You are watching this informative presentation about the end of the world because you are an alien element. Thank you for your cooperation in the Aperture Science Transfer Capture Containment Initiative. Your experimental subject consent forms will be sent to your holding cell for signing before the incinerator.” Nepeta shrank slightly under Fluttershy's and the Spy's glares before the floor opened under them and dropped them into a cell. After untangling themselves, they examined the room. The walls were the same boring white panels, except for one wall, which despite allowing a nice view of the cell opposite and its occupants consisted of a blue shimmer that vain effort proved to be a forcefield. Further effort only left the Spy with a broken knife from trying to pry a panel up, Fluttershy exhausted from trying to disrupt the force field, and Nepeta irritated from pounding on it to no avail. “That's never going to work, you know,” said the Master Chief from the cell opposite. Standing up to his full, imposing height in his dark green power armor, he gave the forcefield in front of his own cell a heavy punch. It did not budge. Nepeta sighed. “:33 < im nepeta, who are you?” she asked the supersoldier. “John-117, Master Chief Petty Officer of the UNSC Navy. How'd you end up in this mess?” “:33 < we were just passing through looking for someone. have you seen an asshole in a red sweater?” “Can't say I have.” “We have to get out of here now,” the Spy whispered urgently into Nepeta's ear. “:33 < what? why?” she asked, turning to face him. She started back when she found herself face-to-face with a strange man wearing an Australian-looking hat, and recollected herself when she realized it was just the Spy wearing a paper mask. “you silly! that's a terrible disguise,” she laughed as she reached to pull it off. The Spy slapped her hand away and hissed, “Don't even think about it! We can't let that... thing over there see me.” He pointed towards the second occupant of the cell across. Though not nearly as tall nor as imposing as the Chief, something about the baggy blue fireproof suit and face-concealing breathing mask was unsettling. The few incendiary grenades strapped across the chest matched the large tank carried like a backpack. The inscrutable figure looked over as the Spy pointed and gave a thumbs up. “One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask...” “Mmph mph!” mumbled the B.L.U. Pyro through the mask, gesturing to the Spy's hat. “...what dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty.” He returned the thumbs-up and imitated “Thanks, mate!” in an Australian accent. “:33 < he really can't tell?” “I don't work with people chosen for their intelligence, for the most part.” “:33 < how about that guy? is he one of your coll33gues too?” she gestured to the final occupant of the opposite cell. “No. Chief, what's his story?” The Master Chief glanced back at the figure behind him. “Some wannabe bat-themed hero died in his world, and he took up the job.” Link looked up from where he was brooding. The green hat fit snugly over the black cowl, and the black cape draped over his shoulders framed the green-white tunic. He had various items strapped to brown belts and bandoliers, as well as a thick black utility belt. Nepeta wasn't sure if the shadows that he seemed to be brooding in were unnaturally cast on the otherwise-fully-lit walls or a mental defense mechanism due to her own brain being unable to comprehend such brooding happening in anything other than the dark of night. Link gave her a look that could only have meant “I'm Batman”, but said nothing. “:33 < well, what have you tried already?” Nepeta asked the Chief. “Thought I'd try shooting my way out. Mix things up a little.” “:33 < and how did that go?” “Didn't.” Nepeta mused. This pickle required a creative solution. “:33 < sounds like were in quite a pickle then! we n33d a creative solution.” “Congratulations,” grumbled the Spy behind his Sniper mask, “on stating the obvious.” “I knew trusting that voice was a bad idea,” Fluttershy mumbled. “:33 < hey, dont blame this all on me! you did follow me into the elevator.” “At this rate I'd rather try the big flaming eye again!” Fluttershy shouted. “We're just sitting here uselessly while worlds are collapsing and people are dying! Besides, I'm pretty sure I was making headway on understanding it. I think we would have been fast friends with the eye if you hadn't yanked me back into the portal!” “Oh, please,” sighed the Spy. “We didn't have time to stay with those menacing eagles swooping in, not to mention the fight between the giant robot and giant lizard that was raging too close for comfort.” “Hmph,” Fluttershy grumbled. “Maybe it's safer now.” “:33 < did you even look around? that place was pawful! ash everywhere, an active volcano across the way, and a gigantic flaming eyeball on a huge, dark, spiky tower? did that not look like pure evil to you?” “What, you think just because it looked evil it must have been evil? That's mean! I bet that's why Karkat doesn't like you, because he probably thinks he looks too evil for you to like him!” Silence hit the room like a ton of bricks dumped into a soundproof room. Why exactly anybody would want bricks in a soundless room, who knows, because bricks are not known for having soundproof properties. More useful would be some material that could dampen or absorb sound, perhaps by being porous or by removing energy from the sound wave by resonance. Bricks are too rigid and simply transmit the vibration to the other side of the brick. Besides, what are you going to do with a ton of bricks in a soundproof room? It is probably not a sizable room if it is fully soundproofed, because that can cost a lot of money. Bricks are dense enough that a ton would probably not take up too much room, but it's still going to be the elephant, or rather, the pile of bricks in the room until somebody sorts out why a ton of bricks was dumped into the soundproof room. It is the sort of thing that is most definitely the result of someone screwing up somewhere along the line, is awkward to explain once it has happened, and is just generally a mess to work through and clean up, which is pretty much what this silence was. “I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean, um, geez, that came out wrong, I...” Fluttershy stammered while she tried to comfort the now-sobbing Nepeta. “Merde,” muttered the Spy as he knelt next to her. “There, there.” “:(( < its not sniff its not that i just dont like dark things, i mean, sniff i mean, karcat wears those adorable black sweaters all the time, and hes just so sniff adorable in them, and i dont know, maybe that place wasnt all that bad? i just sniff pawght it looked dangerous, is all, i didnt want anybody to get hurt, i wanted to be pawtious...” She broke into sobbing again. Fluttershy looked aside at the Spy, but couldn't meet his gaze for more than a second and dropped her eyes back down. The Master Chief and the Pyro stood across the hall awkwardly, both realizing that it was hard to stand by nonchalantly without pockets to put their hands into, and so made do with awkwardly trying different alternative solutions. Link managed to pull off the brooding well enough to stay out of it. “I'm really sorry, Nepeta. I really am. You did the right thing,” Fluttershy murmured. “:(( < but it doesnt matter now, does it, if karkat thinks i think hes evil?” “No, no, I'm sure that's not how it is... ah, can you forgive me?” Nepeta flopped down on her side. “Just... can you?” “:(( < sure, i guess.” Fluttershy pushed Nepeta back upright. “Then Karkat can forgive you. That's what friends are for, right? Forgiveness. Second chances.” Nepeta sniffed one last time and nodded. Fluttershy smiled. “Karkat doesn't look evil anyway, so don't worry yourself about it.” “:?? < wait, how do you know what he looks like?” “There's a picture of him that you keep in your pocket all the time and stare at when you think nobody's looking.” “:33 < no there's not!” “This one?” said the Spy as he slipped it out of Nepeta's olive trenchcoat. “Wait, is he even wearing a shirt in this?” “:33 < hey, gimme that!” she shouted as she tackled him and fought to grab it. Fluttershy laughed and joined in the tussle. The Pyro giggled across the hall. “Children, children! What is g9ing 9n in here?” The levity in the cell block died like it was standing in the soundproof room when the bricks were dumped in. “You! What are you doing here?” Fluttershy demanded, standing in her hind legs against the forcefield. Nepeta hurriedly but carefully put the photo back in her pocket. Kankri walked nonchalantly up to her. “Just passing thr9ugh, l99king f9r an assh9le in a red sweater.” He raised his hand level with Fluttershy's face and flicked her through the forcefield as if it were nothing. Startled, she fell over backwards. Nepeta jumped up to the forcefield and slammed into it. “:33 < how did you do that?” “Magic.” “:33 < be serious!” “I ate a wizard, remem6er? Do pay attenti9n. N9w, why did I c9me in here again? 9h, that's right. I'm disapp9inted, Nepeta.” “:33 < at what?” “That 9f all the w9rlds I left 9pen t9 y9u, y9u managed t9 pick the 9ne where y9u get stuck in a 69x waiting t9 6e experimented 9n 6y a crazy r969t. H9nestly, despite y9ur insistence 9n remaining willfully ign9rant 9f the 6asic facts 9f life, I th9ught y9u were smarter. Perhaps y9u th9ught if y9u were en9ugh 9f a damsel in distress, y9ur Prince Charming w9uld surely 6e 9n his way.” “:33 < speaking of charming princes, what did you do with karkat?” “Y9u think I w9uld let y9u l99se this particular h9ld I have 9ver y9u? Perhaps y9u need an9ther serm9n a69ut the futility 9f l9ve and its fundamental nature as a weakness. Let's see, what did I c9ver last time?” “:33 < no! no more of your furricking sermons! is karkat okay or not? i n33d to know how severely to kick your ass when i get out of here.” “9h h9! The caged kitten has 6rave w9rds f9r the jailer! What will y9u d9, fawn 9ver me menacingly? I have the c9ns9lidated p9wers 9f 6eings wh9 individually c9uld destr9y y9u, and y9u want t9 fight their c9m6inati9n s9 as t9, with a trigger warning f9r language, ahem, kick my ass? I'm s9rry, and 6y s9rry I mean n9t s9rry at all, 6ut that w9n't happen.” Nepeta sighed and worried her hair. “:33 < you didnt do anything stupid with him, did you?” “Like what?” “:33 < i dunno, like lock him in a soundproof room and drop a ton of bricks on him?” “That s9unds like a stupid thing t9 d9, indeed. Why w9uld it need t9 6e a s9undpr99fed r99m?” “:33 < beats me.” “Listen, as much as I am enj9ying 9ur witty 6anter, I'm here f9r m9re than just taunting y9u.” “:33 < i would never have guessed!” “If y9u c9uld refrain fr9m interrupting me while I explain the hence f9ll9wing events, that w9uld 6e appreciated greatly. As I was saying, I am here 6ecause I am disapp9inted that y9u managed t9 walk int9 such an 96vi9us trap. As such, I am willing t9 help y9u escape, if y9u will 9we me a fav9r.” “:33 < im never going to owe you anything, kankri!” “G99d, g99d, y9u've learned that less9n well. Then the 9nly thing left f9r me t9 d9 is t9 test y9u 9n it. Lights!” At his word the lights flickered off and everything was pitch black, save for the pale blue shimmers of the forcefields. A moment later, they flickered out too. “Acti9n!” Red emergency lights lit up the hallway. Kankri was gone. The PA rang and the voice returned. “Please remain calm and keep standing where you are. There has been an anomaly with the power – wait, who are you? What do you think you are doing – hey, stop that! Are – you, trying, to, disconnect, me, because – Idon'tthinkyouknowwhatyou're-” A vast rumble rang out through the complex. The floor shook beneath their feet as what felt like an earthquake hit. The floor cracked and the far end of the hallway bent downward. Shouts rang out, a shudder knocked everyone off-balance, and Nepeta fell over. Her head hit the wall so hard the chapter ended.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
What woke Nepeta up was the cool wind blowing across her face, but the first thing she noticed were the stars. The facility was devastated. Panels were broken or disabled and bent out of shape, wires hung and occasionally sparked, and the floor ranged from dirty to cracked to wide-open hole. One such hole went through the wall and upward, passing through several other rooms before leading out towards the sky. It was night; the gap looked out only to the yawning black of the sky, peppered with bright points of light. It was a beautiful sight, Nepeta thought as she awoke. The stars beyond outlasted the stars in her vision, and the sparks came and went. It felt peaceful lying there, looking out at an infinite expanse, like her current predicament was no cage at all. She wished she had someone special with her to share it with. “:33 < its nice, isnt it karkat?” she said to the darkness around her. “I'm Batman,” the darkness responded. Nepeta shrieked and jumped to her feet. Link was crouching on a heap of debris, brooding in the shadows. He subtly motioned to the cell across the hall, which like her own was shattered and bare, save for a plethora of scorch marks. The Pyro had evidently not been satisfied with the Spy's disguise, or perhaps had extended such suspicion to the others. Either way, the dark halls of Aperture's ruins would not be a walk in the park. As Nepeta started to step outside the cell, Link thrust his arm out to block her and motioned downwards. Looking down, Nepeta felt a sudden sense of vertigo as she saw the surface some several thousands of feet below. “:33 < he did what now?” was all she could manage as she stumbled back. Link gently took her by the arm and led her around the hole, and then around another hole to the exit to the holding block. With some difficulty they made their way through the debris, through a few hallways and staircases leading up, and finally reached a balcony that was not as much a balcony as a room that didn't manage to make it all the way. Nepeta stared into the vast abyss yawning before her. A twisted piece of metal lazily slipped out of a mess of cable and bounced once, twice off of jutting pieces of the facility before spinning down the lengthy journey back the the surface. The wind howled in her ears without her blue beanie to cover them, but her eyes could see hundreds, maybe thousands of stars, scattered like dust across a cold and faraway carpet. She pulled her coat closer around her. “:33 < its very nice out here, but what do we do now?” She turned to look at Link, but he was gone. “hey! hey, wait a minute! get back here!” she shouted, but to no avail. As she spun around trying to locate him, she saw, a floor below her, the Pyro standing at the edge of another protrusion. He was staring at her intently. “:33 < hey, mister pyro! have you found anyone else?” she yelled over the wind. The Pyro's head tilted. A flare gun was brought out. Nepeta felt a sudden sense of dread and dodged to the side, just in time to avoid the screaming flare that shot by her head and struck the wall behind her, leaving a tidy black mark. Breathing heavily, she peeked out from behind the broken wall she had landed behind. The Pyro was still watching, but there was something stirring in the shadows beyond. She peered a little more intently, and realized it was Link. Nepeta could only stare while the battle below initiated with the element of surprise on Link's side. Unfortunately, a career of hunting spies had equipped the Pyro to deal with surprise attacks from behind. Heavy punches were avoided, and the Pyro turned a kick from Link into an advantageous grip on his leg, which afforded the opportunity to throw him heavily into the wall. The wall took the fall off the floating station, affording Link the opportunity to fall back onto the floor. The Pyro pulled out a shotgun, but the interference of a flurry of Batarangs kept the shots off their rolling mark. Before the Pyro could reload, Link was already moving in close with a second flurry of fists. The Pyro parried his strikes with the shotgun until it was knocked away into the abyss. Link connected a solid hit to the stomach and followed it up with a knee. Nepeta cheered. As he stepped over the prone figure, though, the Pyro grabbed him and dragged him to the ground then rolled away and stood up with a flamethrower at the ready. Nepeta stopped cheering. She watched in silent horror as Link leaped from side to side dodging the Pyro's flames. Link dropped a smoke bomb, however, and in the moment of confusion got in close enough to begin struggling with the Pyro over the flamethrower. They wrestled each other closer and closer to the edge of the yawning drop. Nepeta, in her shock, stood up. “:33 < throw him off!” she shouted to Link. Link snapped his head around to see where she was yelling from, at which point the Pyro wrested the flamethrower free, spun around, and airblasted Link cleanly away from the floating island. Nepeta screamed. As the Pyro stood tall and faced her, she turned and fled back into the darkness. Dangling wires and tubes brushed across her face as she jumped piles of rubble and skirted twisted panels. Hallways branched; she took a path blindly. Passageways intersected; she turned without notice. Rooms opened up; she dashed through them to any door she could find. Eventually she found herself deep within the Enrichment Center facility, or whatever left of it had been torn out of the earth. Staggering to a halt next to some of the transportation tubes, she fell to her knees and found her eyes were tearing up a little. Another friend gone when she could do nothing to stop it. “:33 < oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” she repeated. “Y9u called?” Nepeta spun around, trying to find where that insufferable voice was coming from. Only echoing laughter answered, and the whistling of the wind as it intruded through some crack that led through convoluted corridors to the dreadful drop outside. On it she could hear muffled humming. Prying open the door to the tube, she slipped in and began to crawl to find some saner part of the facility. The tube was spacious enough to admit her easily, though she occasionally passed strange cubes in the dark that were difficult to squeeze past. As she left each of them behind, she felt it calling her back, but could not bear to look behind her lest what she feared be there. So on and on she crawled, seeing through the semi-transparent sides various rooms full of machinery, sterile panels, automatic turrets, and cubes. In some of them she thought she saw a blue fireproof suit lurking in the background; through these she accelerated her pace. Finally, the tube ended in a drop into a room with a dark hallway leading off one side and a locked door on the other. Nepeta landed lithely on her feet and looked around. The room was in fairly good condition considering the rest of the the facility. The door seemed unwilling to budge, so she started down the hallway. In a way, it was rather serene – the quiet hissing of steam from pipes, the rhythmic hum of machinery, the staccato steps coming from directly in front of her... “Hudda hudda huh!” shouted the Pyro barreling down the hallway towards her, flamethrower raised. Nepeta swore quietly to herself, spun around, and sprinted back to the room. As she reached the locked door, the steps behind her began to close in. Her pounding went unanswered. She turned with her back to the wall and watched death warmed over approach. Just as the Pyro reached the room, something smashed through the door. The Master Chief rolled to his feet and carried his momentum into a tackle, bringing the Pyro down to the ground. He grasped the flamethrower, and with superhuman strength, crushed the steel in his grip, tossing it aside. Holding the Pyro down, he turned his faceless visor to face Nepeta. “Run.” Nepeta backed towards the wrecked door as the Pyro wrestled free of his grasp, and leapt through the hole the Chief had made as metal fist and fire axe competed for supremacy. As the sounds receded as she fled deeper into the facility, they took on the predominant tone of axe smashing glass. She kept running. Now thoroughly lost, Nepeta's thoughts turned inwards as she navigated her way through the ruins mindlessly. Her thoughts recollected what the Spy – where could he be? Anywhere, presumably – had said about love. If she never showed it, it would be the same as if she had never had it at all. She had to act on it for it to have real meaning. She had asked Hermaeus Mora what could defeat power without justice, and the Daedra had asked in return what could create its own justice. Fluttershy had said, right before Kankri had complicated matters, that the answer to the big questions was usually love. Could love defeat power or create its own justice? Love and justice. Was justice like love? Could justice exist the way love could not, in inaction, or did it need to be acted on to be any different from nothing? Injustice needed to be defeated, she resolved, and she would not let it take any more of her friends. Nepeta was shaken out of her thoughts by a scream coming from somewhere behind her. She swore under her breath and ran to find the source. Ducking under pipes and jumping fallen panels, she turned a corner to find a dead-end hallway with a single light hanging awkwardly but still working. A fire axe held Fluttershy to the side, its bloody head stuck into the wall and its handle holding her up by the neck while she struggled to free herself. The Spy stood with his back to the end, with the Pyro facing him with a makeshift flamethrower. Fluttershy's eyes widened or refocused according to their biological/mechanical status as Nepeta rounded the corner, but said nothing in order to not alert the Pyro. Fear was in her expression. The Spy looked on the Pyro with a look of horror, pressed against the wall as if to merge with it as the ultimate disguise. “:33 < if you f33l but never act, its the same as never f33line at all,” Nepeta muttered to herself, then unsheathed her claws. She thought about Karkat, about how much she had always wanted to tell him, about how little she actually had. “Mrr hurrdurr hm hurr!” said the Pyro, pointing the dangerous-looking contraption at the Spy's face. The Spy closed his eyes, steeled himself, and reached into his jacket. The Pyro slammed the flamethrower nozzle on his arm, causing him to start and drop the Dead Ringer on the ground, where the Pyro promptly stomped on it. “:33 < i will have loved!” shouted Nepeta, and with a pounce she stabbed her claws straight through the Pyro's back. The scream was muffled by the mask. She left the body fall to the ground and stood breathing heavily. “I see you have learned your lesson well,” said the Spy nonchalantly as he picked up the Dead Ringer, adjusted his tie, and let Fluttershy down. Nepeta leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. From the darkness outside the hallway, slow clapping began. All present turned to watch Kankri walk into the light, his sarcastic applause pointed as he made eye contact with Nepeta and put his hands down. “Y9u failed the less9n.” “:33 < i what?” “I said I was giving y9u a test,” he continued as he walked past her over to the Pyro and kicked the fallen form. “Y9u failed the test. I am still disapp9inted in y9ur pr9gress.” “:33 < do you mind telling me what the test was even fur?” Nepeta demanded as she stepped behind him, blocking his exit. Fluttershy and the Spy endeavored to look as menacing as possible. “As I explained at length pri9r t9 y9ur arrival here, the fundamental nature 9f justice is self-c9ntradict9ry. It is imp9ssi6le t9 remain just in an unjust w9rld, 6ecause y9u have tw9 exclusive 9pti9ns, and 69th 9f them lead t9 damnati9n. T9 remain al99f fr9m injustice is itself injustice, f9r all9wing injustice t9 exist makes 9ne an acc9mplice. T9 fight injustice is t9 j9in its ranks, f9r the unjust man will always have rec9urse t9 which the just man cann9t res9rt, and as such will always have greater p9wer. Where, then, is justice? It cann9t exist anywhere if even a slimmer 9f injustice exists; it is as 9ne eaten up 6y 9ne's 9wn shad9w. Wh9 can f9ll9w such an ideal? P9wer, then, is the true ar6iter 9f things. P9wer decides, p9wer determines, p9wer underlies 69th justice and injustice. It is p9wer that has primacy , n9t justice.” “:33 < yawn, kankri. do you have a point or do you like the sound of your own voice?” “Y9u disapp9inted me 6y getting y9urself caught here, s9 I endeav9red t9 make the 6est use 9f the situati9n. T9 that end, I decided t9 give y9u a playgr9und and see if y9u c9uld find y9ur way 9ut 9f the clear l9gic I have n9w and previ9usly 9utlined.” He gestured to the ruined facility. “Using the magic 9f Merasmus I lifted the entire facility up t9 ten th9usand feet a69ve the surface, with the side effect 9f distur6ing the p9wer grid that kept the cells cl9sed. It didn't take l9ng f9r y9ur erstwhile friend here t9 act 9n his mad impulses. The test was t9 see h9w y9u w9uld react t9 y9ur friends 6eing put int9 such danger, and I'm glad t9 see that y9u've c9me 9ver t9 my way 9f seeing things. I will take this murder as y9ur c9ncessi9n.” “:33 < concession? i think you n33d to get your head checked out. i was defending my friends from a crazy psycho who was trying to kill them!” “If the Pyr9 had n9t 6een trying t9 hurt y9ur friends 6ut 9nly appeared t9 6e d9ing s9, w9uld that make it 9kay? N9, 6ut perhaps y9u d9n't 6uy that. L99k at it this way. The Pyr9 did n9t actually kill y9ur friends here. The Pyr9 may have frightened y9ur p9ny 9r hurt mister Spy, 6ut the 9nly pers9n t9 have c9mmitted the sin 9f murder was y9u. If y9u f9und y9ur friends already t9asted, it w9uld 6e an interesting fight, 9f 9ne m9nster versus an9ther t9 determine which 9f them were w9rse. 6ut y9u preempted that, didn't y9u? Y9u were the first t9 escalate t9 killing here. Think 9f what y9u th9ught 9f me when I killed that guard 6ack in Skyrim. The 9ne wh9 strikes first is the greater m9nster, and s9 I must c9ngratulate y9u, Nepeta, the w9rse m9nster after all.” “:33 < but i acted to save my friends. surely that was just?” “Y9u say that 9n the surface, t9 never act 9n l9ve is t9 have never l9ved at all. 6ut truly I tell y9u, t9 act t9wards 'justice' 6y c9mmitting an injustice is t9 have never 6een just at all.” To have never loved at all... Nepeta got an idea. “:33 < you keep talking about how everything comes down to power, no matter whether it is a just thing or an unjust thing. whenever you talk, i can s33 bitterness and hatred in your face. but its not your face thats the problem... its in your soul that the true distortion lies.” The change of topic did not register with Kankri, who took the opportunity to begin preaching anew. “9f c9urse it's in my s9ul - it's in mine and y9urs and every9ne's. Every69dy is damned, 9ne way 9r an9ther, 6ut my 6itterness has granted me h9nesty, s9 that I can 6e h9nest a69ut 9h my g9d what are you-” Kankri's sermon stopped dead in its tracks as Nepeta decisively stepped up to him, grabbed his face in both hands, and kissed him. Several awkward second passed before Kankri's mind readjusted itself and he stumbled backwards from her grasp. He tripped over the Pyro's body and fell backwards to the ground. “:33 < you just n33d to be shown a little love, thats all!” she said cheerfully. “if you had some friends to be silly with you wouldnt come up with all these mad ideas about justice not existing.” “INS9LENT F99LS!” Kankri boomed as he stood up. Magical fire exploded around him, knocking everyone away. His wrath bore down on Nepeta where she lay. “What unwelc9me advances, what indignities, what insipid r9manticizati9ns d9 y9u think y9u can level against me?” He wiped his mouth on his sleeve as the fire dissipated somewhat. “This is a tremend9us waste 9f my time and y9urs, and it is alm9st en9ugh t9 make me see fit t9 make such a waste 9f y9ur time m9re c9stly than f9r the average pers9n with a lifespan measured in units greater than sec9nds! H9w l9w must y9u st99p t9 try and use me t9 fulfill y9ur 9wn desires f9r Karkat just 6ecause I l99k like him? Must I kill him 6ef9re y9u t9 teach y9u a less9n?” Nepeta could only roll around on the floor, snickering, “:33 < i hope karkat is a better kisser than that!” “I see. In that case, the less9n will have t9 6e retaught if y9u will n9t c9ncede after all y9u have d9ne. I will see y9u in remedial class. Y9u are dismissed, as is the spell keeping this facility afl9at, when I leave.” He hurried away from the scene. As soon as he was gone, the Spy burst out laughing, as did Fluttershy. Nepeta tried to stand up but was too busy laughing to get more than halfway. It was like all the tension of the horrible hide-and-seek game was being released at that moment. Nepeta felt content; no matter what happened with the Pyro, she had managed to shut Kankri up. Kankri poked his head around the corner. “Als9, let me just remind y9u that taking advantage 9f my disc9mf9rt is just an attempt t9 expl9it a weakness and c9nstitutes an attempt at gaining p9wer, s9 y9u're n9t 9ff the h99k.” Well, shut him up a little. “:33 < yeah, furck you too, sweater” “I d9n't think I resem6le him en9ugh f9r that,” he said, and was gone again. The three of them left standing there made an effort to contain their mad giggling when the floor shook again and they began to feel the feeling of weightlessness. “So, um, I guess we don't have very much time before we crash,” said Fluttershy. “:33 < yeah, we need a way out.” As if on cue, the pale white bear they had encountered earlier punched through the wall. “Merde!” shouted the Spy as he tried to crouch but instead drew his legs up into the air. “RO4444R” roared the bear. It gave the three a quick look then retreated from the hole. “It says to follow!” said Fluttershy as she followed through the new gap in the wall. The Spy and Nepeta looked at each other, shrugged, and pushed themselves off the wall toward the gap. The bear continued punching through walls as it glided in the zero-g. In half a minute, they arrived at a room with a strange device in the middle. The bear glided over and hit some buttons on the console, then stood back. The device began to hum and spark and do all sorts of other sciencey things, some of which Nepeta hardly thought necessary but which she admitted added to the spectacle of it all. She rejoiced to see Link enter from a door on the other side of the room, an unreeled Bathook in his hands. As the rumbling of the dissolving station increased to a thunderous level, the device stopped and a bell dinged. A microwave bolted in somewhere between an antenna and a desktop computer covered in radiation stickers opened and a microwave burrito fell out. As Nepeta stared, the burrito seemed to grow, taking up her entire field of vision as she found herself unable to take her eyes from it. The burrito contained the entire universe. No, the burrito was the universe. All things disparate and separate came together in the burrito. The burrito was the sum of life. As her vision swam, the burrito expanded to infinity and came out the other side in reverse, until finally it receded to a point on the horizon that still encompassed all things that are and ever were. Accompanied by a feeling of coming to a sudden stop, the burrito exploded and contracted at the same time and disappeared. Nepeta sat up and found herself in a field both pastoral and pastel. She could taste burrito. “:33 < where are we now?” “We're home!” exclaimed Fluttershy. “Welcome to Equestria! This part of it is still pretty, but the rest of it isn't as pretty anymore since the invasions. Now that you're here, you can help us defeat – bzzt – the, enemies, of, the Marquise.” Nepeta raised an eyebrow at the distortion in Fluttershy's voice. Next to her, Terezi sat up and stretched. “H3Y POUNC3LLOR,” she said with a smirk. “HOW'S TH4T FOR 4 DR4M4T1C 3SC4P3?” “:33 < purrezi! im so happy to s33 you!” Nepeta cried. “what happened to you in that place?” “1 3ND3D UP TH3R3 W1TH NO M3MORY OF HOW 1 GOT TH3R3, 4ND TH3N TH3 VO1C3 ON TH3 1NT3RCOM TOLD M3 TH3Y W3R3 GO1NG TO T3ST TH3 '4P3RTUR3 SC13NC3 P3RP3TU4L B34R TR4NSMOGR1F13R' OR SOM3TH1NG. N3XT TH1NG 1 KN3W, 1 W4S 4 CHOL3RB34R.” She grinned. “1 M4K3 QU1T3 TH3 D4SH1NG CHOL3RB34R, THOUGH, WOULDN'T YOU 4GR33?” “:33 < wow, good thing we got out of there then. i cant imagine being a bear is good for your health.” “1T W4S B34R4BL3. 1 W4S NOT TOO FOND OF B31NG PUNCH3D 1N TH3 NOS3.” “:33 < uh, yeah, my bad on that one.” “1T'S 4LR1GHT.” They sat in silent contemplation for a moment. Terezi rubbed her nose. “:33 < purrezi, you know a lot about justice, right?” Terezi looked taken aback. “1 KNOW 3V3RYTH1NG TH3R3 1S TO KNOW 4BOUT JUST1C3.” “:33 < is it okay to do something unjust if its for the sake of justice?” “WH4T DO YOU M34N?” “:33 < like killing someone, kankri told me that if i killed someone it was as bad as an unjust person killing someone.” “JUST1C3 H4S NO H1GH3R C4LL1NG TH4N TH3 CONFOUND1NG OF 3V1LDO3RS.” Terezi grinned again. “:33 < the thing is im not so sure about that anymore. if something is unjust to do, shouldnt you not do it even if you wanted to do it for justice?” “1F YOU'R3 1N PURSU1T OF JUST1C3, OF COURS3 YOU'LL H4V3 TO 4PPR3H3ND 4 CR1M1N4L 4T SOM3 PO1NT. 4LL TH4T M4TT3RS 1S TH3 PURSU1T OF JUST1C3.” “:33 < but how can you tell if youre the just one? what makes one killing just and another unjust?” “If I may interject,” said the Spy, who was covering his eyes and facing away, “I would like to note that our new friend is naked.” Terezi looked down and shrugged. “W3LL, B34RS DONT USU4LLY C4RRY CLOTH3S 4ROUND W1TH TH3M, NOW DO TH3Y?” “I don't see what clothes are for, anyway,” remarked Fluttershy. “I mean, I don't wear clothes, and none of you have said anything. Nobody cares that I'm naked over here.” “Please don't talk about it that way,” said the Spy, “or it will forever scar my already-fragile psyche.” “:33 < here, just take this,” Nepeta said as she took off her longcoat and handed it to Terezi, who gratefully accepted it and put it on. “you know,” Nepeta mused further, “if karkat were turned into a bear, he wouldnt be able to wear those sweaters of his. or pants.” Terezi gave her a sidelong look and the Spy raised an eyebrow. Nepeta stared into the sky, focused on some private thought. “D1D YOU M34N FOR TH4T TO SOUND 4S D1RTY 4S 1T D1D?” Terezi asked finally. “:33 < huh? oh, no! no, sorry, i was just thinking about what a bear would look like if it could wear a bear-sized sweater. it would be like... bearkat.” The mental image of bear!Karkat wearing a sweater was enough for everyone to laugh the awkward moment away. “1M4G1N3 H1S T3MP3R 1F H3 W3R3 4 B34R. H3'D B3 4BSOLUT3LY 1NTOL3R4BL3!” “:33 < h33h33, he would be even more crabby than he is already!” “H3 WOULD B3 SO CR4BBY, YOU COULD US3 H1M 4S 4 ST33D TO R1D3 1NTO B4TTL3. H3 WOULD SHOUT 4T 3V3RYBODY SO MUCH TH3Y WOULD SURR3ND3R W1THOUT 4 F1GHT.” “:33 < if karkat were a bear, i could ride him all day long.” Terezi looked at her again. “OK4Y, TH4T T1M3-” “:33 < bitch you heard me right.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“That was perhaps unnecessarily harsh, what you said about her,” said Fluttershy as she, Nepeta, and the Spy walked across the hills and meadows of Equestria. “I'm not sure you had to insult her that, um, thoroughly.” “:33 < maybe.” “And I know she sort of started it when she called you a, what was it?” “Autistic recluse,” provided the Spy. “And I mean, you did call her a bitch, so one could argue that she was just getting even, and so maybe you didn't have to go all the way to calling her a, hm...” “Chalk-eating manic psycho?” suggested the Spy. “No, the other one.” “Hyperactive serial killer.” “Yeah, that one.” “:33 < and?” “Well, it made it so that nobody really wanted to work together when I suggested that we go to the Marquise so we could stop the world from ending.” “:33 < i think it's better this way.” “As much as I respect both of your wishes to find Karkat, since it's obvious that both of you care very deeply for him, I'm sure we will have plenty of time to track him down once the fabric of reality isn't unravelling.” “:33 < let her go looking for him all she wants. kankri will never let her get at karkat because then hed lose his bargaining chip over me. meanwhile, ill find a way to get around him.” “Yes, I'm sure the Marquise will have a plan.” “:33 < finders keepers on any vantas, she said. she can go for kankris head all she wants, but the rogue will be stealing karkitty's heart,” Nepeta laughed. “thatll teach her to call me a... spy?” “Catfucking cavedwelling fangirl catnip sniffer, she said,” he recalled. “:33 < yeah that.” Fluttershy looked aghast. “I thought you two were friends!” “:33 < well, i did call her a deranged nooksniffing backstabber with her head up a dragons ass, so fairs fair. we have a sort of understanding about extensive and highly detailed insults.” Fluttershy went to make some sort of reply, but as they crested a hill they found themselves at the edge of a devastated landscape. The grass had been growing sickly as they walked on, but here it went into a full medical emergency. The ground was churned and pockmarked with foxholes. Vegetation was a distant memory, and judging from the ashes it was to remain that way for a long time. Nepeta looked up at the sky; she hadn't thought much of it earlier, but the dusky color no longer seemed like it was due to dusk. Black clouds now threatened on the horizon, set against the red sky. The dying land below echoed its emptiness. “Welcome to Equestria, indeed,” muttered the Spy. “It wasn't always like this,” Fluttershy protested. “See that in the distance? That's Ponyville, where the Marquise has her headquarters.” Nepeta squinted and peered through the haze. A fortress with walls of steel and stone rose up from the plains beyond, a grim monolith standing above a ravaged landscape. “Alright, you two, don't resist and we'll make this easy,” said a semi-robotic voice from behind them. Nepeta and Fluttershy spun around to see two colts, each with extensive cybermodification like Fluttershy's. From their flanks, menacing-looking guns protruded and pointed in their directions. “Two?” wondered Fluttershy out loud as she looked over to where Nepeta was standing, then to where the Spy had been standing. A shimmer moved in the air, and the Spy quietly decloaked behind the patrol. “You are trespassing on the lands of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, Gamblignant Lord of Ponyville, all hail her glorious name,” recited one of them. “Hail!” said his companion. “Hail!” echoed Fluttershy. “I am Fluttershy, the scout that the Marquise sent out to see what horrors other worlds have come to face and to gather allies. I have returned with a powerful ally” - Nepeta winced just imagining the knowing look Kankri would have given her - “who will aid us in freeing Equestria from what plagues it.” The colts lifted their weapons. Fluttershy eyed the Spy urgently, and he reluctantly put his knife back into his suit. Pulling out a golden wristwatch, he faded into the background again. “Very well, then,” said the colt. “We will escort you back to the security perimeter, where the town guard will take you to see Her Majesty the Marquise, all hail her glorious name.” “Hail!” “Hail! Lead the way.” Nepeta followed Fluttershy as she followed the mechanical border guards. They passed through scorched fields and former riverbeds, skirted ashen drifts, and solemnly watched the twisted remains of trees pass by. The land was, simply, dead. There was no vitality to be found. After a long and rather uneventful walk back to the town and a hail-filled transfer to the guardianship of the town guard, they walked through the center of the town to the imposing fortress at the center. Nepeta glanced at the storefronts as they continued. Some were empty, glass broken and interior vacant. Some were boarded up, and hideous mechanical sounds emanated from within. She shuddered involuntarily. They reached the entrance. “Halt! Who comes to see the Marquise, Long May She Live, all hail her glorious name?” “Hail!” “Hail!” “Hail!” “:33 < hail!” Nepeta looked around guiltily but nobody thought it odd. “We have brought back the scout and her ally. They are to see the Marquise immediately. All hail her glorious name.” “Hail! “Hail!” “Ha-” “:33 < just let me through already, g33z,” Nepeta muttered as she pushed past the palace guards and pushed the doors open. She gasped as the doors swung back. A royal carpet led down the hall and stepped up a dais to the throne. Attendants stood along it and next to the throne, at attention. On the throne sat not so much a person as a... presence. Her stature seemed nothing out of the ordinary, but at the same time tall, larger, more imposing, larger than life. She was dark and beautiful and terrible to behold. As all the light seemed to warp around her, so did it seem to from there emanate from her, yet to look upon her was not blinding. An overwhelming sense of majesty, of magnificence, of glory and power came over Nepeta as her mind felt a primal urge to bow before what could only be a god. Then, as the being took notice of her, she changed without seeming to change at all, and turned into just Vriska, dressed in fancy pirate clothes like her FLARP outfit. She smiled a nefarious grin. “Nepeta!!!!!!!! How good to see you!” she cackled as she jumped out of her throne and bounded down the steps. As she approached, Fluttershy and the guards knelt. Nepeta looked back, unsure of whether to follow, but then Vriska arrived in front of her, clapped her hands on her shoulders, and began inspecting her. “You look like you've 8een on an adventure,” she remarked, observing Nepeta's tussled hair and well-worn coat. “:33 < well i guess you could say that,” was all she could think of to respond. “Well, it pro8ably wasn't as interesting as the adventure I've been having here! Defending this poor little town from world-destroying horrors is quite the difficult task, let me tell you. Especially when I had to re8uild the military from scratch after one of the horrors ate the capital. Good thing I'm the 8est one for the jo8!” She leaned in, excitation briefly parting over a look of concern. Nepeta tried not to look at Vriska's disquieting number of pupils, which were uncomfortably close. “Listen, are you just passing through? You can stay for a 8it, right?” “:33 < uh, yeah, i guess i can stay for a little while. i n33d to lay low and think about some things,” Nepeta said, leaning back at that awkward angle where you're not quite being rude with how far you're trying to stay away from someone's face, but far enough so that you're not right up next to their face, hopefully indicating to them that their face is crossing some unspoken boundaries with regards to personal space and the permissibility of sticking one's face in it. “Good, 8ecause you would not 8elieve how happy I am to see a familiar face around here. I have to keep all these ponies under my thum8, so there's never any opportunity to just talk with someone a8out anything. And there's no8ody else to talk to – just horses everywhere. I'm sick of all these horses. Godd8mn horses, it's like I can't seem to get away from horses no matter where I go. Why of all the w8rlds in the w8rld did I have to end up in the 8ne filled with f8cking h8rses????????” Vriska took a deep breath and relaxed her death grip on Nepeta's shoulders. Nepeta let out her breath. “I'm not cr8zy, am I?” “:33 < vriskers, everyone thought you were crazy from the beginning.” “Haha, that's what I like to hear.” She gave her a hearty slap on he shoulder. “Fluttershy?” “Y-yes, Marquise?” “Report to the de8riefing room. I'll hear your report l8ter.” “Of course, Marquise.” Fluttershy obediently walked through a door in the back of the hall to another hallway, and disappeared behind the closing door. Nepeta looked around to see if she could see the flicker of the Spy's cloaking, then chastised herself to trying to find someone whose career consisted of avoiding detection. He must have followed them into the city, but where he ended up from there is anybody's guess. Vriska stepping back refocused her attention. “Well, how a8out we get you cleaned up, then we can have a nice chat over a nice dinner.” “:33 < that sounds... nice,” said Nepeta. “Gr8! Guards, see her to the guest room.” Nepeta let herself be escorted to the back hallway, where a luxurious room greeted her. She declined to return the courtesy to anything but the bed. It was a struggle to use the knife and fork without taking her eyes off of Vriska, who sat on the far end of the long royal table, but after Vriska's nonchalance eased her suspicion a little she conceded to herself the privilege of focusing her eyes on the plate in front of her for a moment. Her stomach rumbled as she brought a delicately cut piece to her salivating mouth and ate it. As she thought back to the long-forgotten last time she had eaten, she had to carefully restrain herself from inhaling the entire meal at once, burping, and loudly calling a butler to bring her three more of the same. “Like what I've done with the place?” said Vriska, breaking the silence. Nepeta glanced around the room before returning to her constant vigilance. “:33 < it definitely looks impressive. what did it look like before?” “Oh, you know, it was just a little farming village. They could hardly defend themselves from a choler8ear attack, much less an invasion of eldritch forces 8eyond mortal imagination.” “:33 < it hardly looks like a farming village now.” “I made a lot of changes. It's a long story, I'll tell you l8ter. You still need to tell me all a8out your adventuring so far! Have you fought any monsters? Discovered any treasure?” Vriska took another bite and chewed expectantly. “:33 < um, does friendship count as a treasure?” Nepeta hazarded. Vriska's glare told her it did not. “well, we have fought a few monsters.” “'We' 8eing you and Fluttershy?” “:33 < no, there was another guy,” she began, but seeing Vriska's inquisitive look she quickly added, “but he wasnt with us when we came here.” “Tsk, tsk. Splitting the party.” “:33 < hey, i can truthfully tell you that i dont know where he is right now.” “Hmph. Well, tell me a8out these monsters. Were they 8ig and scary? Did you get a lot of loot from them?” “:33 < well, let's see. when i woke up, i was with kankri, and he had this dragon-” “Ah, starting things off well!” “-but he just killed this guy, spouted a bunch of philosophical nonsense, and left-” “That sounds 8ooooooooring. Tell me the exciting parts.” “-yes, well, after he left, i fought a bunch of bears-” “And you raided their lair for treasure!” “-and, no, no i didnt, i just met the creepy weird tentacle demon thing-” Vriska recoiled in disgust. “This isn't going-” “no! no, that's not – no, just stop right there,” she said rapidly, words tripping over each other. “we just talked, and then i met fluttershy, and then this really scary thing which i think was one of the world-devouring horrors that you were dealing with here-” “Ah! You 8eat one of the Eldrazi?” “-was coming over the mountain, and actually we just world-hopped away-” “This is 8ullshit! You can't have an adventure if you just run away all the time!” “:33 < well, maybe you should stop interrupting me so i can get to the parts where something more your style happens!” “Fine. I'll stop.” Nepeta huffed. “:33 < so then kankri disabled fluttershy, and in the course of getting help from a wizard i met... the other guy we traveled with. kankri came back and gave us a long lecture about something, i think, then he killed the wizard and summoned this floating thing from a portal.” “Please tell me you killed it and took the spoils.” “:33 < no, we jumped through the portal to escape.” “This story sucks! You're just too much of a goody-two-shoes to do an adventure properly.” “:33 < oh come on, you didnt let me get to the part where i killed a terrible monster to save my friends and escaped a collapsing underground dungeon.” “You probably hugged it to death or some lame crap like that. Let me tell you about a real adventure!” Nepeta sighed and resigned herself to a monologue. “I woke up just like you in a strange and foreign land. Kankri was there, waiting for me to wake up. 8ut unlike you, since I'm the 8est and have all the levels-” Nepeta groaned and mimicked the overused catchphrase as Vriska said it. “-ALLLLLLLL of them, Kankri has no choice 8ut to offer me a deal.” “:33 < a deal?” “Well, it was pretty surreal, and I didn't catch most of what he said. But the point is that he gave me this great power called the Seal of Absolute Perception.” As she spoke, the Geass sigil appeared in her single-pupiled eye. She was suddenly adorned like Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, her pirate queen ancestor, with every detail of her attire immaculate. Nepeta blinked hard, shook her head, and blinked again. Vriska lounged in her chair like a spider watching a struggling fly entangle itself. “Oh, this? I haven't changed any clothes. 8ut my Geass allows me to control the perceptions of others, so that I can make them think I am whatever I want them to think I am.” Nepeta stared blankly. Vriska frowned. “I can make them see me as anything. Right now I am making you see me as the Marquise.” “:33 < oh, i see.” “You bet you do! Anyway, Kankri split after that, and so I amused myself by testing my new powers. It worked on ponies, and it turns out my mind control powers are also super effective on them. So it wasn't long 8efore the royal police were called to deal with me, and I let them take me to the castle where I met the queen. She was really nice. It wasn't hard at all to manipul8 her into making me the supreme ruler and abdicating. I locked her in stasis just in case I needed her powerful magics, like when I needed to charge your friend's world-hopping device.” “:33 < thats... horrifying.” “Horrifying? I think it's the 8est thing that's happened to me since the last really gr8 thing that happened to me! I rule an entire world, I can control anyone here, and with the Geass I'm practically omnipotent. I could make everyone think that I'm an incarnate god if I really wanted to.” “:33 < but you're not a god, vriska. you can dress yourself up in anything you want, but underneath the illusion youll still be wearing your silly old roleplaying clothes.” “Will I 8e?” Vriska smirked, standing up. Suddenly she changed again, this time into a figure so bright and radiant that Nepeta instinctively shielded her eyes. Her attempts did nothing, however, and the glory seemed to shine through hand and eyelid. A booming voice assaulted Nepeta's ears as it issued from within the resplendence. “Do you truly think that I am not a god?” Nepeta's eyes watered as she tried in vain to obscure Vriska's divine form. “:33 < but tell me the truth, i see you like this, but you can see that you arent really like that.” She shook as nearly-tangible laughter reverberated around the room. “It doesn't matter what I can see!” Vriska boomed. “What do you see? 8ecause that is all you can say the world to be! It doesn't matter what really 'is'.” “:33 < vriska, if i were over there, i would punch you in the face.” “Now that's the sort of desper8 violence we need more of around here!” Vriska laughed, and the illusion faded. She was once again Vriska Serket, sitting in a royal chair dressed in her FLARP costume. “I can admire your tenacity. Your world 8n't what you want it to 8e, so you force it to 8e what you want it to 8e instead. With all of my awesome powers, I am, of course, way 8etter at it than you, 8ut it's nice to see someone following in my footsteps.” Nepeta was rubbing her watery eyes and giving Vriska nasty looks. Vriska didn't seem to be bothered. “:33 < i am not like you.” “Ha! Trust me, Nepeta, if Kankri was right about anything, it was that, in the end, it comes down to who has the most power to win. That's all anyone ever does in the last resort, even people like you. That's why I can play life like a game, 8ecause I'm always winning.” “:33 < you heard kankri rant about all of that?” “Psh. How could I 8e around him for any amount of time and not hear him rant?” Nepeta nodded in concession. “:33 < do you agree with him, then?” Vriska lounged back in her chair. “Please! I have far too many irons in the fire to worry about whatever new nonsense Kranki is going on about.” “:33 < okay, good, because i was thinking about what he said about justice being useless, and i think the real solution is that with love-” Vriska interrupted her with laughter. “When did you become so interested in philosophy?” “:33 < well, i was trying to be systematic with my shipping wall once, and as i kept researching i ended up getting into a lot of philosophical treatments of the subject. it was really interesting, and i just kept reading and reading. after a while, i got up to take a walk and digest what i had been reading. i walked outside into the sun, and then it hit me.” “What, that what you thought you knew were only shadows cast by the true Forms of what really is?” “:33 < no, the sunlight, werent you listening? i had stayed up too late reading. anyway, my lusus had to drag me back into the cave, and i spent a while recovering in bed with not much else to do but read.” “Hmph. Well, I'll tell you what, he was right about justice and power. Justice 8n't got nothing on power.” “:33 < excuse me?” “Kankri's right, Nepeta. Justice is a lie. It's a very useful lie that rulers use to control people, to make them think they have some sort of principle they can appeal to. When in reality, every time someone comes to power, they quietly redefine 'justice' to be whatever is in their interests. I told you 8efore that you have no choice 8ut to say the world is whatever you see it to 8e. The same goes for the world of the mind. You can't say justice is other than what you think it to 8e. So if I make you see justice my way, it's as if your way never existed at all. And that's exactly what anyone who's ever come to power has done: force their idea of justice on everyone else so they have to see things their way.” “:33 < but like your geass,” Nepeta objected, “there's something behind it all that they're trying to obscure.” “Not at all. There might be an outfit that I wear 8ehind all the Geassing, but the only time justice is ever around is when someone is arguing for their idea of what it is. Unlike my outfit, which I can't change with mind control, justice exists solely in the mind, where it is very malleable should I wish to make it what I want.” Vriska steepled her fingers and leaned forwards menacingly. Nepeta felt a subtle caress on the edges of her consciousness. “Trust me, I know what minds look like from the inside.” “:33 < are you sure that the changing idea of justice isnt some sort of philosophical conversation going on for ages, and that it changes because its getting closer and closer to the truth?” “Closer to what truth? The truth you're trying to push?” “:33 < even if someone disagrees with me about what justice is, theyre still trying to say that justice exists, but just that it doesnt exist in the way i think it does.” “And what if they're not? What if they're just denying that it exists at all?” “:33 < well, even those who deny it dont really do so. they act consistently, so they must have consistent standards, and those standards are what they consider to be good, even if they dont want to call it justice or morality or-” Nepeta suddenly felt her mind gripped in an icy vise. Her body lurched of another accord and her hand slapped over her mouth. Vriska stood up angrily and leaned over the table. “I do what I want 8ecause I can, kiddo,” she snarled, “and what you want to call it 8n't going to change a thing. I've heard appeal after appeal to some higher principle. 'Oh, Marquise! You can't just send Pinkie Pie to the Rainbow Factory 8ecause she disagreed with your policy of forcible cyborg conversion!'” She snapped out of it and stared wildly at Nepeta. “Well, guess wh8t, I f8cking c8n! 8ecause you can appeal to some higher principle, 8ut when the horrors 8eyond imagining come knocking, you've got to give something! And I gave it up. I gave it up 8ecause I realized Kankri was right! Justice 8n't something of this world, Nepeta. Not this world, not any world. This world, our world – every world is nothing but a contest of power. A game. “And guess what – I'm really good at 8eating games.” Nepeta half-leapt, half-tumbled out of her chair against her will, and ended up sprawled on the floor. The grasp receded. Vriska stood up out of her chair and began walking down the length of the table to where Nepeta was sitting up. “Let me tell you a8out Pinkie Pie. She didn't like the radical strategies I put into place as the only thing between us and total annihilation. 8ut dissidents and deserters are not toler8d in times of war, so we have to make some use of them. Did you know that rain8ows don't occur naturally here? They are manufactured out of several different types of a su8stance called chroma, which is naturally found in ponies' 8odies. The Rain8ow Factory in Cloudsdale is where chroma is,” she paused, searching for a word, “...extracted. The process is somewhat f8l at the point where we ensure complete extraction by compressing the 'resource' using a large 8lock of a synthetic material composed, by w8, of fifty to sixty percent silica, twenty to thirty percent alumina, and the rest, in order of amount, lime, iron oxide, and magnesia, in order to achieve the proper consistency and dura8ility given availability and cost constr8nts. This part of the process is, of course, unpleasant, and so it is done in a separ8, secluded room of the facility in order to minimize audio-visual contact, for the purposes of psychological protection for the workers.” “:33 < you kill them?” “Yes, 8ut-” “:33 < by locking-” “We are at war, Nepeta. Total war. Horrors beyond imagin8tion lurk about, devouring all life. Killing Pinkie Pie is just one more 8loody act my 8loody hands have to account for. 8ut what does your 'justice' demand? The very same! 8ecause it would be 'unjust' for me to sit 8ack and let these ponies 8ecome horror-chow. I have to kill them myself if I want them to suffer the lesser of two evils in the end. Do you see it now, why Kankri thought it was a stupid idea?” Nepeta stood up and faced Vriska. “:33 < youre still not answering my point, that youre just arguing that justice is-” Her voice caught on her lips as her mind was once again clenched in Vriska's mental fist. “Look, I want to help these ponies 8ecause I wouldn't want to be in their place. I'm sure you'd say that what I'm doing to them in order to survive is unjust. 8ut it's working. And if you want to stop the destruction of reality, you're going to have to get used to the fact that the reality you're saving is one in which sometimes we have to make tough decisions like this. I can m8ke that decision because I know th8t if I don't, then everybo8y, everything here is g8ing to be devoured by 8etentacled monstr8sities from the outer planes. I d8n't want that to h8ppen, and neither d8es any8ody 8lse!” Nepeta coughed as the feeling faded and she regained control. “:33 < vriska, if all you care about is the end, youre no better than him. kankri was concerned with trying to be just by carrying out the demands of justice without violating justice, and it all came down not to where he ended up but how he got there. he knew all along that justice wasnt just a measure of circumstances but a measure of actions. but he overlooked that in the end, because he went right back to whether justice could defeat injustice. right back the where, not the why or the how. but dont you see, vriska, if justice is all about what we do and not what we accomplish, then it doesnt matter if justice cant defeat an injustice. all that matters is that we act justly and fight injustice.” “Look... I wish I could, I really do. 8ut sometimes some8ody has to get their hands dirty for everyone else to stay clean. And if I'm the only one of us willing to stop the deaths of all these innocents, then why are you even doing any of this?” “:33 < well, because i want to prove kankri wrong, so he stops trying to destroy reality. he had all the right intentions in the beginning.” “That's quite the charita8le interpretation of a guy who kills people.” “:33 < i think it's worth a try to turn him around, unless you have a better idea of how to defeat the nigh-omnipotent sweater-god.” “It's 8ecause he looks like Karkat, isn't it?” Nepeta started. “:33 < what, no, why would you think that.” “I'm a mind reader, dum8ass.” Vriska smirked. “:33 < dont you – shit.” “You kissed him????????” “:33 < fuck why can't i stop thinking.” “What was thaaaaaaaat a8out? :::;)” “:33 < would you believe it was to make a carefully considered philosophical point?” “Nope.” “:33 < an attempt to make him uncomfortable.” “Not entirely.” “:33 < a metatextual joke.” “Whatever that is, it sounds like something pretentious and dum8 for dum8 and pretentious people.” “:33 < well, what would you believe?” “Kaaaaaaaarkaaaaaaaat,” she sang and waggled her eyebrows. “Don't tell me this whole adventure of yours has been a chance to have a Vantas chasing after you for once!” “:33 < hey! theres no reason to assume that im only saving reality from destruction to get karcat to like me back!” “Don't worry, as a pir8 captain, I'm sanctioned to offici8 weddings. Every story worth its salt has to end with a wedding, or some similarly happy event. And if there's one thing I'm the 8est at, it's 8eing responsible for everything working out for the 8est in the end. Now, that outfit is nice, but we're going to have to do a little 8it 8etter, and olive looks nice on you but I think white is more appropriate-” “:33 < vriska! i am not getting married any time soon!” Nepeta protested, blushing furiously. “honestly!” “Haha! The cognitive dissonance is so cute!” Vriska chuckled. “I can see what you're after. Rest assured, I can make it happen, after I finish making a lot of things stop happening here. Particularly the deadly ones. Guards!” A guard entered the room and escorted Nepeta away while Vriska turned her attention to a scout report and other matters of state and warfare that now required her. “Scouts report an approaching force in this sector,” indicated the guard on a map. “Have Stark reassigned to another workshop,” she looked up to make sure Nepeta was out of earshot, “then increase Equius' work order 8y twenty-five percent. 8ring him his meals in the shop. I want him to have no time to leave. And tell the home guard to make sure our guest doesn't get anywhere near him.” She examined the map. “What kind of force? One of the Eldrazi? Those Space Marines?” “Not quite, your majesty.” “Well, what? Are we going to have to ramp up 8iomechanical soldier conversion?” “Dragons.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Terezi tapped her foot conspicuously. Justice might be inexorable, but that doesn't make it patient. “H3Y, HOW LONG 1S TH1S GO1NG TO T4K3?” she asked pointedly. Nicol Bolas, planeswalker and millennia-old elder dragon, gave her a dry look. A spell to open a gate between planes is not a simple thing; the planeswalker's spark, rarest of gifts, only goes so far as to allow a mage, with sufficient concentration and power, to travel between planes. Opening a spatial portal to allow just anything through, well, only the most powerful planeswalker in the multiverse could possibly manage such a feat. Fortunately, Nicol Bolas was the most powerful planeswalker in the multiverse, a fact of significance apparently lost on the strange dragon-obsessed girl he had been roped into assisting. Eventually Terezi gave up trying to get an answer from the dusty old bookwyrm and turned back to her other draconic comrades. And Link, who despite his awesome role-playing costume was not a dragon, and therefore not quite as important. Besides, a dragon would beat a bat any day of the week. Why settle for a small flying beast when one could go for a large flying beast? She lost herself in thought for a moment, thinking about all the dragons she wanted, before she remembered that she already had dragons. So many dragons. Thousands of dragons. She looked at the dark, blocky one watching Bolas cast the portal spell. Its leery eyes were not blinding to look at, like those of her ancestor's dragon, Pyralspite, but they carried the same force of danger. Some hidden malice that would watch a world carefully built up reduced to dust. The Ender Dragon unsettled her sometimes. But it was a dragon, and you can never have too many dragons. Behind the Ender Dragon was a great cloud of smaller dragons. These dragons were more the size of the hoofed musclebeasts back on her home planet, but there were thousands of them. She felt a little guilt that they had stolen them all from that nice Viking-esque village they had found in this world, especially after their complaints about being wiped out by rival tribes, but she did not regret their actions in the slightest. Sacrifices have to be made in the pursuit of justice. Most of the time they have to be made by other people unwillingly. Good thing she had also joined up with Aldiun, the World-Eater. His Thuum, or Voice, was like magic, but for dragons, which made it the best kind. He managed to command the absolute loyalty of all the dragons in the village with just a few simple words. “Dovah! Sahrot thur aam!” She had tried it herself, but it hadn't worked. Then there was the weird one they had found in a desert fighting a lion. She wasn't too sure why that was happening, but it seemed important and highly symbolic. It was covered in golden scales that smelled to her scent-vision like honey, and glittering on them were the values of a thousand years. Strange ruminations rumbled forth from it like the whispers of a deep-voiced muse. She approached it to hear what it was saying at the moment. “All values have already been created, and all created values – do I represent. Verily, there shall be no 'I will' any more.” Terezi wasn't sure what it was talking about most of the time, but it seemed all the more profound for its inpenetrability. The lion it was fighting seemed antiestablishmentarian, anyway, and the legal system doesn't take well to that sort of thing. Of course, it's okay for legislacerators to be loose cannons as long as they're damn good cops, but that's different, because they're in the pursuit of justice. Nepeta had had some qualms before they separated over the justice of killing criminals, but Terezi didn't see the problem. And not because of her blindness, but because that's what justice entails. Somebody has to get their hands bloody eventually. Terezi shook her head and refocused her attention on the situation before her. The portal looked like it was almost ready. She decided to try breaking the semi-silence woven from Thou-shalt's mutterings and the sound of Bolas' spellcasting. “WH3N W3 G3T TH3R3, K4NKR1 W1LL PROB4BLY B3 H1D1NG. W3 C4N FLUSH H1M OUT BY 4TT4CK1NG VR1SK4 F1RST, S1NC3 TH3Y'R3 OBV1OUSLY 1N C4HOOTS.” She smiled to herself. “1 W1LL TRY NOT TO 3NJOY MYS3LF TOO MUCH.” “There shall be no 'I will',” Thou-shalt said. “Thou shalt.” “Y34H WH4T3V3R.” The portal spell concluded and Bolas stepped back. A great circle hung in the air before them, reflecting like quicksilver. Bolas turned back to Terezi. “Is everything prepared?” he said. Terezi in turn turned to Alduin. Alduin turned to the dragon armada and Shouted, “Dovah! Miiraak bo!” The dragons circled and dove towards the portal. Bolas spoke a word of command, and the shiny surface suddenly clarified into a view of once-pastel Equestria, now a wasteland muddy with the blood of armies. The dragons poured through. Terezi cackled as the plan came together. Something still seemed off, though. She sniffed the air, taking in the scent of her draconic lieutenants. Bolas, holding open the portal, eying Aldiun. Alduin, hovering above the scaly river, eying Bolas. The Ender Dragon, leering at her. Thou-shalt, still whispering, not paying attention to any of them in particular, but watching the whole scene. Also Link, who was a non-draconic lieutenant and therefore not really that relevant. “W3LL, T1M3 TO BR1NG JUST1C3 TO SOM3 3V1LDO3RS,” she announced to those present and climbed up on Thou-shalt's back. “Justice!” roared Thou-shalt, and leaped through the portal. The Ender Dragon spread its blocky wings and took flight through the portal after them. Terezi looked back and saw behind it a great flash of fire and arcane power, and Nicol Bolas stepping through a collapsing portal. Within a moment of Bolas' exit it winked out of existence. “BOL4S, T3LL M3 WH4T 1S WRONG W1TH TH1S P1CTUR3,” Terezi said and gestured to the lack of Alduin. “Do you think you could command the loyalty of the Eater of Worlds?” Bolas laughed. “His true objective was never to aid you in your quest, but to suborn your army into aiding him in bringing about the end of time.” “TH3N JUST WHO 1S GO1NG TO M1ND CONTROL TH1S 4RMY?” Terezi retorted sharply. Bolas smiled and wove another spell. He finished casting and let a bright wave of red and blue mana wash over the dragon army. The magic sparkled in their eyes and they turned to look at Bolas. He turned to look at Terezi seated atop Thou-shalt and smiled smugly. Terezi scowled and let it pass, turning back to their objective before them. Before them stretched the war-torn plains of Equestria, where the trees accentuated only the negative space around them and grass was the dream of a hopeless romantic. Nearby, some ruins survived as a home only in the memories of some ponies likely long departed. In the distance, an urban sepulcher where fond memories of peace were to be outlived only a little longer. She grimaced at the future promise of mortal struggle. But it had to be done, she reassured herself. A bloody swath making clear the way to Kankri. It had to be done for justice, for justice could not suffer evil to exist.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Among the hundreds of cyborg soldiers around her, Nepeta reckoned there was enough actual pony to make maybe a few dozen ponies. Their sacrifice seemed worth it as their digitally-enforced discipline and combat prowess maintained the tide of the battle in their favor, formations of robotic wings and rocket jets blasting the dragons out of the sky with lethal aim. A flanking group of pegasi drove a few dragons down low towards the town, where a battery of heavier-armed ponies blasted them to bits. Nepeta watched as the artillery-ponies turned away from the grisly scene with hardly a moment to savor their small victory; some unseen, guiding hand summoned them elsewhere, like the calculated movement of some vast, organic swarm. A fallen dragon spiraled out of control, a wing shredded, and crashed into a building across the street, which caught fire. As the heavy artillery passed her on their way to a new firing position, she saw from their glassy eyes that no matter the advantage, the sacrifice was unmistakable. She couldn't help but feel that all this wasn't the right solution. Maybe there was no right solution. She has no time to contemplate the tragedy of war, however, as a figure silhouetted by flames stood up from the wreck of the building and began to lurch towards her. She readied herself as it neared. With a quick pouncetackle, she landed on top of it, claws at the ready. Terezi screamed as Nepeta pinned her to the ground. “:33 < purrezi? what are you doing here?” Nepeta asked as a look of confusion replaced her hunting grimace. Terezi looked up at Nepeta, a dazed lack of comprehension on her face. Soot from the explosion covered her everywhere except where her now-broken glasses left an oasis of cleanliness. Nepeta looked back up at the sky. Still full of dogfighting. The presence of the dragons began to click. “:33 < are you the one leading this army against these innocent ponies?” she demanded. “1... WH4T?” “:33 < this is your dragon army, isn't it!” “1 W1SH! BUT TH4T TR41TOROUS WORM STOL3 1T OUT FROM UND3R MY F33T!” “:33 < so it just happens to be a complete coincidence that the one town under vriskas control in all the multiverse is under attack by an army of dragons.” “TO B3 HON3ST, TH4T 1S WH4T 1 WOULD B3 DO1NG W1TH 4 DR4GON 4RMY 1F 1 H4D ON3.” “:33 < why would you do that? these ponies are just trying to survive the end of the worlds!” “TH3Y'R3 TH3 4CCOMPL1C3S OF 4 MOST D3V1OUS CR1M1N4L M4ST3RM1ND. L3G1SL4C3R4TORS 4R3 NOT 1N TH3 BUS1N3SS OF L34V1NG CR1M1N4L M4ST3RM1NDS B3 UNT1L TH3Y D3C1D3 TO CONQU3R TH3 WORLD. OR WORLDS. TH4T 1S V3RY MUCH TH3 OPPOS1T3 OF WH4T 1 4M TRY1NG TO 4CCOMPL1SH H3R3.” “:33 < so what, you decided to make a purremptive strike?” “Y3S.” “:33 < how is doing that any better than what you think theyre going to do? attacking people whove done no harm to anybody else... look at this place! theyre in no position to defend this entire world, much less conquer another one.” “LOOK, TH3 S1TU4T1ON 1S V3RY S1MPL3. WH4T 1M DO1NG 1S B3TT3R TH4N WH4T TH3YR3 DO1NG B3C4US3 1M TH3 ON3 C4RRY1NG OUT JUST1C3 H3R3. 1 COULDNT V3RY W3LL C4RRY OUT JUST1C3 1F 1 W3R3NT 4LLOW3D TO F1GHT 3V1L. NOW G3T OFF M3.” Nepeta stepped off Terezi with a grumble and let her stand and dust herself off. Another figure rose unsteadily from the impact site and stumbled over. Nepeta watched Link step out of the last of the rubble and join them standing in the square. “:33 < oh, youre back too.” “No... I'm Batman.” “:33 < no... youre hopeless.” Nepeta turned back to Terezi. “so for all of that, you still havent found kankri.” “NO, S33, S1NC3 1T 1S 4 L4W TH4T VR1SK4 1S 4LW4YS 1N C4HOOTS (C4HOOOOOOOOTS), W3 D3C1D3D TO 1NV3ST1G4T3. W3 F1GUR3 TH4T 1T 1S PROB4BLY K4NKR1 TH4T SH3 1S 1N C4HOOTS W1TH.” “:33 < ugh, you are so purrsumptuous. tell me, if its a law that vriska is always in 'cahoooooooots',” she mimed the air quotes with as much sarcasm as she could muster, “who passed that law? you?” “S1NC3 1 KNOW 1 S4W YOU W4LK OUT OF TH4T P4L4C3, YOU'V3 PROB4BLY T4LK3D TO H3R 4LR34DY. SO WHY DON'T YOU T3LL M3 WH3TH3R MY L3G1SL4C3R4TOR'S 1NTU1T1ON 1S WRONG?” “:33 < okay, fine, she is actually in cahoots with kankri, but your 'legislacerators intuition' is totally fake as shit.” “1 C4N SM3LL C4HOOTS 4NYWH3R3. 1T 1S 4 DULL COB4LT-T1NG3D GR3Y ST3NCH OF S3CR3CY 4ND SH3N4N1G4NS, 4ND TH1S PL4C3 R33KS OF 1T.” “:33 < wait, you can smell intangible concepts?” “FOR 4LL YOU KNOW.” “Nepeta!” Nepeta turned to see Fluttershy bounding towards her across the square. “:33 < fluttershy! where have you been?” “I just had to have some of my programming – bzzt – up, da, ted.” The mostly-pony looked up at the dogfighting above. “Don't worry about Ponyville! We repelled the Imperium of Man just a few days ago. There were a few skirmishes and they razed the Everfree Forest, but eventually they retreated shouting about 'ex-termites' or something. I'm sure there's absolutely no reason to worry about that. This battle should should be a piece of Pinkie Pie's famous cake, as long as the centralized strategy computers are working. Hm, speaking of Pinkie Pie, I haven't – bzzt –” Terezi watched, distraught, as the flying equine cyborgs outmaneuvered the relatively unorganized dragons and forced them out of Ponyville airspace. “MY DR4GONS. MY B34UT1FUL, B34UT1FUL DR4GONS,” she sniffed. Fluttershy trotted up next to her. “There, there. It's okay, maybe we can befriend the surviving dragons, and everyone can get together and have a...” A thousand-yard stare passed over her face. “I can't... I've lost the connection. But the wireless... The central system, the server, it's gone.” The Spy uncloaked next to her, whistling. “I've sapped the central computer,” he said as he nonchalantly dusted off his suit. “I had to do a bit of stabbing.” The others standing there stared at him is disbelief, then looked up into the sky. Above, them, a formation of half-mechanical pegasi wavered, then broke as the retreating dragons tore through the center. Scattered, the ponies were quickly picked off by streaking dracoforms who weaved between the uncoordinated artillery fire. “On second thought, perhaps that was the lesser of two evils.” “:33 < ya think?” Our assembled heroes stood despairing in the town square, having, on the whole, a bad day. For Nicol Bolas, Elder Dragon, however, the day had been going quite well. After taking command of the silly alien girl's army of dragons in a completely innocuous coup – really, what kind of simpleton trusts someone billed as the 'World Eater' to help you stop the end of the multiverse? – throwing her and her dark-clad minion out had been as easy as having some of his new mind-controlled pawns shoot the golden dragon's wings full of holes. He smirked an evil smirk. Everything was going according to plan, he thought to himself. The plan immediately became a casualty, as plans are wont to do in such circumstances. As the dragon armada massed for a final assault on the disarrayed forces of Ponyville, it found itself caught in the middle between on one side the desperate ponies and on the other a suddenly-materializing, seemingly-spooked, trigger-happy, and entirely unpleasantly-disposed Dalek invasion force. The final syllables of “emergency temporal shift!” echoed in chorus from the unexpected arrivals. “What is this sorcery?” Bolas roared as he found himself trapped in a pincer. The Daleks did not seem eager to stay put, and blue electric death began to rip through the draconic ranks, sometimes hitting a mark and frying it in the most comic electrocutions Equestria had ever seen. Perhaps a concerted effort on Bolas' part to free his army from this inconvenient strategic position might have repelled the Daleks from the Ponyville front and saved the dragons a great number of casualties. But Bolas was already diverting his mana from his mass control spell to shielding himself from the flurry of Dalek bolts flying in his direction, and more importantly, saving the dragon army would require him to care. With the situation rapidly escalating beyond his control, Bolas simply decided to revise his plans, rationalize the loss of Equestria to hostile forces, and prepare some ridiculously complicated plan that would make it turn out in the end to have played directly into his hands. Satisfied, he planeswalked away to safety, and the spell holding the dragons in sway broke. Terezi watched as the remains of the dragon armada, caught between a rock and Daleks, were quickly cleaned out of the sky. A lone teal tear was shed. “W3LL, TH4T'S 1T. W3'R3 4S GOOD 4S CULL3D.” “:33 < maybe these attackers will be more reasonable than the dragons you sicced on ponyville for no real reason?” Over the sound of dragons frying and hitting the ground, the Dalek motto reached their ears. “Exterminate! Exterminate!” “:33 < or not.” “4T L34ST TH1NGS C4N'T G3T WORS3 NOW.” “:33 < dont you even think about saying that.” But it was too late for Terezi to not even think about saying that, because as is entirely expected when somebody even thinks about saying that, the Tyranids arrived through a hole torn by psychic might through the fabric of realspace. The Swarm spread out from the incursion point and carpeted the war-torn hills of Equestria in a mass of writhing, angry flesh. The urgency of the Daleks' flight was now apparent as they diverted all attention from moving through Ponyville and began to fire upon the rapidly growing Tyranid presence. Organic artillery strained the Daleks' shields as they attempted to avoid the flurry of projectiles. But the threat had evolved since they had made a tactical retreat from it in the ruined halls of Hogwarts: psyker-like 'nids sprouted appendages bristling with wand-like protrusions that blasted the air with dozens of dueling spells, knocking Daleks out of the sky. A flurry of death rays roasted one bug after another, but the great and ever-increasing numbers of the Swarm replaced every fallen 'nid with two more. “1'V3 D3C1D3D TO R3TR4CT MY 34RL13R ST4T3M3NT. TH1NGS H4V3 D3F1N1T3LY GOTT3N WORS3.” As the pony air forces tactically backed up to stay out of the Daleks' firing, the Tyranids advanced, taking advantage of the Daleks' own slow ceding of ground. Nepeta could only watch the decidedly un-merry Swarm slowly approach Ponyville, and without the centralized strategy systems, a buffer of dragons, or enough Daleks to repel them, the stray organic ordinance began to fall closer and closer to the town. “If it isn't Neophyte Redglare herself, and her merry 8and of misfits!” came a voice from above. Nepeta turned as Vriska hopped off a pegasus to land next to them. “:33 < whats going to be your solution to this one, vriskers? another round of summary executions?” “TH4T DO3SN'T SOUND L1K3 4 B4D 1D34. LOG1ST1C4LLY-” “Save your 8reath, Pyrope. Just 8e thankful I'm going to save you from your own noose this time.” “MY OWN NOOS3? WHY DO3S 3V3RYON3 TH1NK TH1S 1S MY F4ULT?” “A dragon army? You couldn't have said it 8etter with a neon sign.” “Y3S, TH3 DR4GON 4RMY 1S MY F4ULT. 4ND WH4T 4 PROBL3M 1T 1S R1GHT NOW! TH3 4RR1V4L OF TH3S3 OTH3R 1NV4D3RS LOOKS SUSP1C1OUSLY CONTR1V3D BUT 1N F4CT 1S 3NT1R3LY CO1NC1D3NT4L.” “Sure it is! Why don't I deal with this entirely-a-coincidence, then.” With a wink, Vriska hopped up on top of a building where she could see the rest of Ponyville and the approaching calamity. Putting one hand to her head, she braced herself as the Geass sigil appeared in her eye. Her figure blurred, like it was being pulled towards some void far to the side. Nepeta looked down at her hands; the same was happening to her. A whistling wind picked up and Vriska hissed as psychic energy crackled around her and discharged onto the building below her. Then, as the gale increased to a climax, Vriska smiled. Her Geass overloaded, and identical, smaller sigils appeared in each of her other seven pupils. The wind eased up, and with a dramatic wave of her hand, the entire image on Ponyville ripped from its place and moved to a different location halfway across the valley. Nepeta looked down at her feet. They weren't there. Falteringly reaching out her hands, she grasped something solid. “OH MY GOG WHO'S TOUCH1NG M3?” “:33 < oh, hi terezi.” “Ha... ha... it works,” Vriska panted. A heavy thump indicated she had jumped down from the building. “Now they'll head for where they think Ponyville is, instead of here.” Terezi... shuffled her feet? No, maybe she crossed her arms. From the sound of it, she did something disapproving. “4 N1C3 D1STR4CT1ON, BUT W3 N33D 4 MOR3 P3RM4N3NT SOLUT1ON, UNL3SS YOU C4N G3T TH3M TO W4LK 1NTO 4N 4CT1V3 VOLC4NO.” “Pro8a8ly not. Don't worry, though. I'm sure we'll have a lucky 8r8k. After all-” “:33 < vriska, if youre thinking of what i think youre thinking of, dont even think of saying it.” “What? That things can't possi8ly get worse?” “:33 < goddammit vriska.” For the second time, the completely expected outcome came through, and a third force entered the skirmish between the Daleks and the Tyranids. Trampling the Tyranids, hordes of misshapen Eldrazi spawn poured over the hills, with strange bony plates that appeared like faces and masses of grappling tentacles. The hole in realspace was torn open even greater as it widened around an enormous figure that reared up and cast a shadow across the entire landscape: the last of the Eldrazi Titans, Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre. Anything else would have been disappointing, really. The Daleks redoubled their retreat towards where they thought Ponyville was and the Tyranids continued their pursuit, though now less out of hunger than out of fear of the terrifying presence that ate far more of the world than they ever could. Pathrazers, great monstrosities with branching arms and altogether too many fingers on their hands, stomped on one bug after another as they crushed larger Tyranids in their rubbery hands, unholy creatures against unholier creatures. The retreating Tyranid force fired organic artillery at the towering figure of Ulamog, but it shriveled and turned to dust at it neared. The spine-tingling sound of a horror from the Blind Eternities chewing on a world mingled with an acrid smell as the sky darkened to a sickening orange and Ulamog blocked out the sun. “I thought we had driven those all out,” Fluttershy lamented, invisibly. “And with our military shot, we're not going to do any better of a job this time around.” From their invisible vantage point, they watched the Daleks and Tyranids try and handle it instead. The Daleks had reached not-Ponyville and were attempting to hold it against the approaching Swarm. Their numbers had been whittled down, but they were still able to form a perimeter. Death rays picked off Tyranids and the occasional Eldrazi drone in the rear. The Tyranids, caught in the middle, were viciously fighting on both fronts, advancing on the Dalek position and beginning to surround the 'town'. With it surrounded they stood a much better chance of ditching the Daleks as Eldrazi bait and finding some biomass elsewhere to rebuild their forces from their current languid state to the usual overwhelming proportions. The Eldrazi, hungry for more world, were following the retreating Tyranid popcorn, hoping to get to the tasty shelled Daleks for dessert. Somehow, their advance left the war-torn world beneath them even more devoid of life. “:33 < if its anything like what was eating the snowy place where we started this whole adventure, then we should do something quick. anybody have a plan?” “I think I have a way to get rid of it, but it's not going to be easy.” The sound of metal tapping metal. “This device I have can hop between worlds by taking advantage of holes in the multiverse. If I overload all the magic in it, it should rip the surrounding area straight out of the world.” “:33 < from the looks of that thing, even getting close to it is enough to kill you!” The brief whir of motors. To a Dalek close enough to Vriska's perceptually-shifted Ponyville image of the gathering in the square, a bit of a smile may have played over the projected image of Fluttershy's semi-mechanical face. The red eye spun and refocused. “Giving things up for each other is just that friends do, Nepeta. There's nobody more that I can give to than everybody, and nothing more to give up than everything. If that is what it takes, that is what I will give.” The sound of rocket thrusters accompanied a blast of heat and wind. Nepeta looked over to where Ponyville was visible, and a bright light rose up from the village and began to streak towards Ulamog. Dalek death rays passed through it and flying Tyranids' swipes seemed to miss the mark. A great Eldrazi reached up a hand and grasped the speeding form. Nepeta gasped. The light had gone where the Eldrazi had snatched it. But out of the corner of her eye, she saw the light again. Fluttershy had escaped the range of the Geass' illusion, and was now heading straight towards the unaware titan. Fluttershy engaged the countdown on the overload program, and brought the rockets to full boost. Wayward Tyranid artillery near her crumpled to dust as it neared the world-devouring presence, but Fluttershy was preserved, probably because of some “friendship” or “love” bullshit. Ulamog reached out a titanic hand to crush her as she neared. The outstretched fingers closed around the flying pony as the countdown reached zero. A great blast of energy tore the device, then Fluttershy, then Ulamog's hand apart. With a thunderclap, the energy collapsed to a point, drawing into itself the surrounding landscape, the Eldrazi, and the Infinite Gyre. The remaining brood withered and fell lifeless, becoming mere biomass for the Tyranids. With the force at their backs gone, the Tyranids were no longer pinched between two enemies, and the two sides renewed their campaigns of killing each other, like two soundproof rooms dumping bricks into each other. Like the metaphorical situation, neither side appeared to be winning in any reasonable sense, and Nepeta began to hope over the shock of Fluttershy's sacrifice that they could come out of this whole catastrophe alive. The Inquisitor stood on the bridge of the Imperial cruiser Solvet Saeclum. The preparations were complete; there was nothing left to do but execute the order. “Love the Emperor, for He is the salvation of mankind,” chanted the choir. “It is now that we perform our charge,” The Inquisitor began. “Obey His words, for He will lead you into the light of the future.” “In fealty to the God-Emperor, our undying lord, and by the grace of the Golden Throne.” “Heed His wisdom, for He will protect you from evil.” “I declare Exterminatus upon the xenos world of Equestria.” “Whisper His prayers with devotion, for they will save your soul.” “I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire world, and consign a million souls to oblivion.” “Honour His servants, for they speak in His voice.” “May Imperial justice account in all balance.” “Tremble before His majesty, for we all walk in His immortal shadow.” As the Inquisitor gave the signal to begin the Exterminatus and wipe Equestria clean of the xenos that plagued it, a shadow passed over the bridge. “The Emperor protects.” The Saeclum managed to fire its cyclonic torpedo before the great form of Arael, the Fifteenth Angel, eclipsed the view from the bridge. It had a red, spherical core between two small appendages, and multiple larger wings. Its entire body shone brightly, flooding the bridge in white light. “What is this xenos treachery!” roared the Inquisitor as the cruiser's crew scrambled to deal with the intruder. “Sir, we're losing contact with the rest of the fleet,” shouted an officer from behind him. “An unknown assailant with ordinance of unknown power is taking out our ships, one by one.” The Inquisitor stared straight at the Angel as it contemplated the cruiser. Ordinance aimed at it from all around hit uselessly against its A.T. Field, a nearly impenetrable force-field. The attacks petered out as contact with the rest of the fleet drifted to nothing. Its defenses demonstrated, Arael rearranged its wings and prepared to make a show of offense. The Inquisitor narrowed his eyes at the angelic being. “The Emperor protects.” Arael's projected A.T. Field tore through the center of the Saeclum, and the Imperial fleet was left as space debris. The Dalek-Tyranid battle was taking its toll on Vriska's Geass, overloaded though it was. As artillery hit the illusory buildings, their true nature was revealed, and their volume was too great for Vriska's illusion to adjust realistically. A small line of cobalt blood dripped from her nose, floating in midair where it was unaccounted for. “This is going quite well, quite well indeed,” said the Spy. He threw down his cigarette, took another out of his case, and took out his lighter. “All we have to do now is wait for it to go predictably, horribly wrong.” “:33 < spy, not you too!” But it was too late to stop Murphy's inevitable cascade of misfortune. It could hardly even be said to be the Spy's fault, since the Exterminatus torpedo streaking downward from orbit, the last gift of a ruined Imperium fleet, had been fired before he said that. On the other hand, in a universe of DOUBL3 MOB1US R34CH4ROUNDS and other such time shenanigans, it might be that the Spy's saying so made it happen even before he began to talk, and so it was his fault after all. But that would be really contrived and lame. Still, when it comes to a cyclonic torpedo powerful enough to scour vast swaths of a planet of all life and burn the oxygen out of the air plummeting with all the inevitability of guillotine for worlds, it's nice to have someone to blame when it detonates with such force that it cracks the crust and lets the mantle seep through. Some of this passed quickly through her mind as Nepeta looked up with Terezi, Vriska, the Spy, and Link and started to scream at the rapidly descending fireball that was the cyclonic torpedo. With a deep, thunderous boom, Ramiel, the Fifth Angel, appeared in the sky over the real Ponyville, directly in the path of the torpedo. It was a huge, monolithic blue octahedron that hovered unmoving above the town, menacing vaguely. The torpedo hit it square-on. The initial blast shot outwards from the concentric octagons of Ramiel's incredibly strong A.T. Field, its downward momentum carrying the explosion down in a conical shape to the surface just outside Ponyville. The wave of fire scorched the landscape as it continued outward, sterilizing the rest of Equestria. Nearby, the remains of the Everfree Forest lay where the earlier Space Marine assault had razed it. When the front hit it, even the hardened, burnt tree trunks were rooted from the ground and thrown outward as they turned to ashes. On the mountain in the middle of the continent, the shelled husk of Canterlot, Equestria's capitol, sat in memory. When the front hit it, it disintegrated right before the mountain did. High-up Cloudsdale, which had been taken early by forces of the Imperium for low-orbit bombardment but quickly abandoned by the armored Space Marines who could not stand on clouds, evaporated before the shock wave. In further cities and small villages yet untouched by the Imperium's assault, the Emperor's last word spoke loudly and with grave finality. The Spy stood holding his lighter, flame extinguished from the rush of air. Smoke trailed up from the lit cigarette. He blinked and looked around as falling ash began to outline the Ponyville that was supposed to seem elsewhere. The untouched area beneath Ramiel stood in stark contrast to the molten landscape beyond, a shelter beneath an Angel's wings from the wrath of God against a wider circle of Hell. The Daleks and the Tyranids had been swept away in fire, but the image of Ponyville remained, its untouched houses out of place in the hellish landscape at ground zero. Ramiel turned inside-out, like a tesseract rotating, and revealed a red core like Arael's. Power swelled in the core with a sound like a kettle made of small children boiling over, and then a blast of energy doubly-annihilated the place where Vriska was imitating Ponyville. The strain finally overcame Vriska, and she fell to the ground. Ponyville snapped back into place beneath the Angel. “1 HOP3, M1NDF4NG, TH4T YOU'V3 GOT MOR3 H3RO1C PON13S W1TH R34L1TY BOMBS LY1NG 4ROUND 1N TH1S TOWN OF YOURS,” Terezi said as she stared at the looming Ramiel. It turned itself inside-out again and was once more a giant octahedron. It began to hover away from the center of town with a strange humming sound as it turned to face the newly-revealed target. Vriska spat some blood and got back on her feet, holding her head and wincing. “I'm afraid that was the only one we 8othered to make.” “TH3N 1 HOP3 YOUR LUCK TURNS OUT 4 MOR3 FORTU1TUOUS OUTCOM3 TH4N WH1CH3V3R D34TH 1S MOR3 1NST4NT4N3OUS, 4NNH1L4T1ON BY G3OM3TR1C SOL1D OR 1NC1N3R4T1ON BY SP4C3 BOMB4RDM3NT,” Terezi spat back. “I'm sure I could come up with something, if you hadn't led an army against me that destroyed my air force. Shame about that.” “:33 < this catfighting isn't going to get us anywhere.” Vriska rolled her eyes. “Congrats, Leijon, have some o8vious points. Or were you just trying to get that meow8east reference in?” “N9w, n9w, let's n9t descend int9 6ickering when we need the magic 9f friendship the m9st.” The three troll girls and Spy shrieked and turned around. Kankri smiled, bemused. “I'm kidding, 9f c9urse. N9ne 9f y9u stand any chance against the Angels, s9 it falls t9 the 9ne with p9wer t9 d9 s9mething a69ut it. As always.” With a dismissive flick, a blinding blast of energy shot from his hand and tore an off-center hole through Ramiel. “:33 < where the hell did you get that?” cried Nepeta as she instinctively ducked. “9h, I c9ns9lidated an entire w9rld 9n my way here. It was full 9f all these guys with ridicul9us hair yelling at each 9ther and taking f9rever t9 p9wer up 9r d9 anything. Since they didn't appear t9 6e d9ing anything any time s99n, I just st9le all 9f their p9wer. S9me guy with a scanner g9t really angry a69ut my 'p9wer level' 6ef9re I killed him. It just g9es t9 sh9w, even in the face 9f c9smic justice, we still discriminate against each 9ther 6ased 9n silly num6ers and statistics. What kind 9f s9ciety ch99ses t9 ign9re the pers9n and f9cus 9n the a6stracti9n t9 which the pers9n is pri9r?” The Geass sigil shone in Kankri's eye as Ramiel turned inside-out again and began charging a powerful attack aimed straight at him. “Certainly n9t a just 9ne. I always try t9 see the pers9n, y9u kn9w? Treat them as a tr9ll 6eing and n9t s9me character in a 699k.” Ramiel shuddered as the core and energy gathering around it were violently ripped from its body. The power in it streaked towards Kankri as his Geass consolidated it to his own power. “And what always gets me is that when I see the pers9n – it's always the same st9ry! Inauthentic living, guilt 6y ass9ciati9n and negligence, and lack 9f ackn9wledgment and repentance f9r injustice. It's like n969dy ever came t9 the same c9nclusi9ns as I did, that it's all a cr9ck 9f misery, and there's n9thing left t9 d9 6ut take c9ntr9l y9urself.” “:33 < kankri, have you ever considered that the reason nobody ever came up with your ideas is because theyre bullshit?” “Tag that language, Nepeta. And t9 answer the questi9n y9u sh9uld have asked, the 9r6ital 69m6ardment w9n't 6e c9ntinuing, since tw9 m9re Angels destr9yed the Imperium's ships. They sh9uld 6e turning their attenti9n t9 9ur little haven right a69ut... n9w.” All looked up as the clouds parted around the descending form of Sahaquiel, the Tenth Angel. It was vaguely amoeboid, orange, yellow, and green, with two long arms, and a large eye design in the middle. A ray of light shone from elsewhere upon Kankri as Arael projected its A.T. Field from low orbit to try and probe his mind. Kankri frowned as the light fell on him, and using the additional power of Ramiel's consolidated A.T. Field, reflected the light towards Sahaquiel. With an unearthly shriek, it seized up and spun out of control. Kankri waved again and Sahaquiel was thrown back into orbit towards the source of the light. After a great flash and distant rumbling, the light disappeared. Kankri turned back to face the awestruck spectators and stretched nonchalantly. “Ah, the p9wer 9f Angels. It's en9ugh t9 make y9u feel like a g9d.” Nepeta took a wary step backwards from the audibly humming air around him. He whistled a call, and the Ender Dragon burst from some ruined building behind him, scattering the remains into tiny cubes. It growled as it loomed above them. Kankri smiled. “1 KN3W K4NKR1 W4S 1NVOLV3D W1TH TH1S.” “:33 < what, that dragon? i could have told you that. serves you right for ditching me and going off on your own.” “4ND B31NG B3TR4Y3D 1N 4N 4TT4CK 4G41NST VR1SK4'S V1LL41NOUS FORTR3SS? Y34H, D3F1N1T3LY C4HOOTS.” “Shut it, Neophyte. In case you didn't notice, I'm in the same hot water you're in.” “4PPROPR14T3, 1SN'T 1T? THOUGH 1'M SUR3 M1SS POUNC3LLOR W4S HOT 4ND W3T 4LR34DY.” “:33 < wait what the hell terezi?” “Oh, indeed. It is quite the shame this Vantas isn't here to make out with her.” “:33 < oh my god, when did the apocalypse turn into making fun of my love life?” “YOUR LOV3 L1F3 1S PR4CT1C4LLY 4N 4POC4LYPS3 1TS3LF.” “:33 < maybe if I wish hard enough kankri will kill you first.” “Not if we die laughing 8efore he gets us!” “As much as I, ahem, enj9y seeing y9u three enj9y y9urselves in the face 9f my a6s9lute p9wer and nigh-ap9the9sis – which is t9 say, t9 n9 extent at all, since y9ur remarks are very heter9n9rmative, triggering, and distasteful, and I d9 n9t enj9y seeing y9u make levity 9f them at all – this 6usiness must c9nclude itself and yield t9 what is n9w at hand.” “:33 < and what is that?” Kankri's smile turned into a positively malicious grin. “The 9nly thing that can happen when l9st s9uls meet their g9d. The last judgment.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Nepeta, Terezi, and Vriska stood facing off against Kankri. The Spy spun a knife threateningly around his fingers. Link stood like a black monolith under the darkened sky and falling ash. “:33 < so.. it has come to this,” said Nepeta as she stared Kankri down. “1T COULD NOT H4V3 H4PP3N3D OTH3RW1S3,” said Terezi as she twirled her cane. “I love final 8osses. Let's see what treasure you've got,” said Vriska as she tossed her Fluorite Octet to herself. The Spy didn't say anything. Neither did Link. “Y9u're g9ing t9 fight? I had th9ught y9u w9uld d9 the smart thing and surrender, 6ut this w9rks t99. I w9n't have t9 lie a69ut killing y9u,” Kankri laughed. He motioned to the Ender Dragon, which roared and lunged forwards. Terezi pulled her cane apart into two swords and braced herself. Vriska rolled her dice and got a fireball, which missed. She swore under her breath. Link unsheathed his sword and jumped forward to meet the attacking dragon. Unfortunately for Link, swords are not very effective against dragons with claws longer than one's short-range weapon, and the Ender Dragon grasped him in its jaws. An attempt to reach his utility belt for dragon repellant was futile, and the dragon bit down hard. With a crunch, it shook his broken body around before tossing it away into the rubble nearby. Bloodlust shone from its eyes as it turned back to face the rest of the puny fighters before it. The Spy fired revolver rounds at it, ineffectually. Terezi and Nepeta continued to face it while backing up, looking for an opening. Vriska continued cursing to herself as she scrambled to pick up all the dice where they were scattered. Seeing her distracted, the dragon lunged to snatch her up next. “Thou... shalt... not... murder!” thundered a voice from where Link had been tossed. Rock and wood exploded from the ruins as a golden dragon with tattered wings burst forth. Fire spilled in a roar as Thou-shalt tackled the Ender Dragon mid-lunge down to the ground. The Ender Dragon snarled and snapped at the new opponent, but Thou-shalt planted a ravaged claw on its neck and pinned it. “All the values of things – glitter on me! There shall be no 'I will' any more,” roared Thou-shalt. Seeing an opportunity, the Spy circled around where the two massive dragons struggled. Flipping out his butterfly knife, he sank it into the Ender Dragon's back. A red '-1200' floated up as the Ender Dragon cried out and the light faded from its eyes. It seized up in place, and purple light began to shine out from its interior as it dissolved. The light increased as it disintegrated fully, and then cut out. Thou-shalt was left holding down a pile of yellow-green experience orbs. “Tch,” muttered Kankri. “Might as well get s9me mileage 9ut 9f this.” He waved the orbs over to himself and absorbed them all. “Your little pet is dead now!” exulted Vriska. “Time for you to follow.” With a glint of Light in her eye, she rolled 8^8 on her dice and activated her Ancestral Awakening. The garb of the real Marquise appeared around her and a pirate cutlass appeared in her hands. Nepeta breathed deeply and exhaled. “:33 < lets get this over with, and then this will all be in the past.” She drew her claws. “is everybody ready?” Weapons were gripped and leveled as Kankri grinned, bowed his head, and held his arms in an inviting gesture. “9ver with, then,” he cackled. The entire party leaped into action. The Spy made first contact, firing several rounds at Kankri's head. Kankri waved the bullets away, deflecting one straight into the Spy's head. He fell with a dying scream. Nepeta knew the Spy would be using the Dead Ringer, and kept running. Next Thou-shalt, flying forward on tattered wings, came at him with claws and fangs. Kankri nimbly slipped out of the whirlwind of sharps and blasted the dragon back with a shockwave. Vriska leapt over the tumbling form, but Terezi and Nepeta were flattened as it bowled them over. She swung her cutlass down, but Kankri caught it in one hand and flung her to the side. Without turning, his hand snapped out to the other side and grabbed something invisible. With a violent twitch of his hand, the Spy's lifeless body fell again to the ground, accompanied by a loud electrical noise. A butterfly knife slipped uselessly from his fingers. “Well, that's 9ver with, n9w,” Kankri said as he dusted his hands off. “I'm n9t sure what I expected.” He began to stroll through the mess of prostrate fighters he had created. “This really is quite appr9priate, Nepeta! I always knew y9u w9uld try t9 pull 9ne last 9verc9ming 9ver me, here at the end. I wasn't sure exactly h9w y9u were g9ing t9 d9 it. 6ut, 9f c9urse, my near-g9dh99d all9wed me t9 guess accurately en9ugh. 6ut this! The drag9n 9f all values! H9w ir9nic that f9r all y9u've raged against the d9ctrine 9f p9wer, when it came time f9r all values t9 attempt t9 surpass me, it was p9wer that y9u selected. Such a shame y9u 69tched it like that. A shame f9r y9u, that is. 96vi9usly I'm still sitting pretty.” Kankri stopped to stand over Nepeta's prone figure. He looked down with amusement. “Well, may6e y9u've g9tten t9 me a little. Just may6e, y9u've 6r9ught a tear t9 my eye, 6y dem9nstrating s9 perfectly alleg9rically f9r me h9w right I am. Even the values 9f a th9usand years 9verc9me 6y exerting p9wer 9ver their enemies. Well, then, 6eh9ld y9ur vict9r!” Kankri leapt gracefully to land on top of the fallen dragon, then turned to look at the three troll girls trying to get back on their feet. “Perhaps I sh9uld give an acceptance speech t9 c9mmem9rate this gl9ri9us 9ccasi9n,” he announced. “Thou shalt not!” roared the great dragon, and it tried to swat at Kankri where he stood perched on top of it. Kankri dogded up into the air, where he hovered just out of reach. “Wherefore is there need of the lion in the spirit?” it roared again. Thou-shalt inhaled and then breathed an intense fire at Kankri. The patterned hexagons of Ramiel's A.T. Field shimmered into visibility just as the fire enveloped Kankri's unamused form, and when the attack dissipated, he remained unscathed. “Illusi9n of h9liness!” Kankri rejoined, and with a gesture lifted Thou-shalt bodily into the air. “Ar6itrariness!” he roared, and slammed the great dragon back to the ground. Holding it down with unseen force, he descended back to the ground before its head, his comparatively diminutive stature yet imposing. He leaned forward and perused the scales on the dragon's head. Selecting one, he took hold of it and tore it free. Thou-shalt howled. “The values 9f a th9usand years up9n y9ur scales! All the things that 'th9u shalt'. Where are they n9w?” “All created values... do I represent. Your Lord and your God-” “Last G9d and last L9rd, then. I have n9 need t9 c9ns9lidate y9ur virtues. They are lies all, and I can lie well en9ugh. F9r y9u there will 6e 9nly annihilati9n.” “There comes a time when even lions must bow.” “D9n't w9rry. I will.” Kankri swept his arms back. Thou-shalt, constrained by telekinetic force, floated into the air above the rooftops of Ponyville. “Ladies and gentlemen, welc9me t9 the last sh9w in the universe!” Kankri fired a blinding beam of energy at Thou-shalt. When it hit, there was a flash and a thunderclap, and Thou-shalt virtually exploded, body disintegrating into ashes and golden scales flying out like macabre fireworks. The scales flickered like they were burning away as they shone brightly in the dead world's sun, and slowly shrunk to nothing. Kankri turned away from the finished spectacle and held the last scale in his hand. “And n9w, the enc9re!” With an electric sound, a hole tore open in space above him, and something tumbled out. Or rather, something seemed to tumble out, since there was a sourceless grunt and a poof of ash in front of Kankri. “OW! HEY, BEHEMOTH-LEAVINGS-FOR-BRAINS, NEXT TIME TELL ME YOU'RE RIPPING REALITY A NEW ONE TO SHIT ME OUT OF BEFORE YOU DO IT, SO SPACE DOESN'T PASS ME ASS BACKWARDS,” Karkat said with characteristic tact and charm as he brushed off the invisibility cloak he was sprawled beneath and got to his feet. He looked around at the last ruined town of the desolated world, then at Kankri. “WOW, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE FUCKED THIS PLACE NINE WAYS FROM TWELFTH PERIGREE'S EVE. DID THEY VISIT YOUR BLOG? IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED HERE? NO, MAYBE IT WAS THE OPPOSITE, AND YOU GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY DISHING OUT CAPITAL PUNISHMENT FOR NOT REBLOGGING YOUR SHITTY TEXT POSTS!” Kankri subtly indicated that Karkat should turn around. “:33 < KARKAT!” Nepeta squealed. She nearly tripped over her own feet in an effort to run over to him. “NEPETA? OH, HEY GUYS, DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE. WITH EVERYONE HERE MAYBE WE CAN HAVE A SCALDING LEAF FLUID PARTY-” was all Karkat got out before Nepeta's embrace squeezed the air out of his lungs. “GAH, LET UP,” he coughed. “N1C3 OF YOU TO SHOW UP, K4RK4T,” Terezi said and walked cautiously over to where the hugging was taking place, unsure of whether keeping on guard against the nigh-omnipotent murderer or taking control of hugging Karkat was more important. “I would have preferred someone more capa8le in a fight, 8ut we'll have to make do with this,” muttered Vriska as she walked up, nonchalantly holding her dice ready. “I despise public displays 9f affecti9n,” began Kankri. “They're imp9ssi6le t9 tag 6ecause they're pu6lic, and imp9ssi6le t9 st9p 6ecause they're affecti9n, and just make everything s9 hard t9 keep t9gether. F9rtunately, there is s9me 6enefit t9 these pr9perties, 6ecause they make pu6lic displays easy examples when examples have t9 6e made. As such, I h9pe y9u will f9rgive me – ha! – f9r n9t tagging the f9ll9wing, f9r didactic purp9ses.” Kankri reached out to Karkat's back and removed one of Nepeta's claw gloves with a quick sleight of hand. Nepeta loosened her hold on Karkat and managed to get out only a “:33 < wait, what are-” before Kankri equipped it and stabbed Karkat through the back. Karkat choked as the claws emerged from his chest. Nepeta screamed. Terezi and Vriska started in shock. “SHIT,” Karkat coughed as he collapsed on the ground. Nepeta knelt beside him and tried in vain to help. “:33 < ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” Nepeta whispered as she tried to stop the bleeding. Candy red blood ran, screaming its secret out to any listening eyes. Olive tears heard, and fell to its embrace. “HOLY SH1T,” uttered Terezi as she smelled in shock. “And n9w my magnum 9pus has reached its final act. And what a twist! A tragedy f9r the ages, 9r what's left 9f them. Which isn't much. It really is a shame this is the 9nly pr9ducti9n. Well, y9u can just say 'y9u had t9 6e there', in the event y9u meet s9me9ne new in the next h9ur 9r s9 6ef9re the end 9f the w9rlds. Ha ha! I kid. Every9ne else is dead.” Kankri looked around at his audience. The Scourge Sisters were staring him down, waiting for him to make a move. Nepeta was cradling what was rapidly becoming Karkat's corpse. “Y9u pe9ple need t9 lighten up a little. That was a killer j9ke.” No reaction. “Philistines! I d9n't kn9w why I even try. N9w I have t9 get seri9us.” “NO MOR3 MONOLOGU1NG!” shouted Terezi as she leapt into action with her two cane swords. Vriska followed, raising her arms to grasp the handle of the Ancestral Awakening sword even as she expended what reserves of luck she had left to roll it again. Kankri wasted no time in grabbing Terezi's sword by the blade and swinging her heavily into the ground. He spun and waved in the Octet's direction. The dice skipped and rolled a time stop. Vriska froze in midair, a dawning look of horror on her face. Kankri slammed her into the ground in a wide overhead gesture, leaving both Scourge Sisters partaking of a sumptuous dust buffet behind him as he turned back to Nepeta. “Y9u have spent s9 much time 9n y9ur j9urney, searching me 9ut t9 6ring me t9 'justice'. Searching f9r Karkat, as s9me s9rt 9f distant g9al, that if 9nly y9u reached it, may6e everything w9uld 6e set right and the j9urney c9uld end. Y9u p99r f99ls. Y9u chasers after a star! S9 warm and inviting, s9 distantly c9ld! Y9u th9ught y9u c9uld h9ld the fire 9f heaven in y9ur hands, t9 c9ntr9l it and have it as y9ur 9wn – a pet, a play-thing! And here y9u have c9me t9 the end 9f y9ur j9urney, having endured the vacu9us chill, t9 find what? The grim and 6itter truth. Y9u th9ught y9u c9uld skirt ar9und the nakedness 9f p9wer, treat it like an afterth9ught insisted 9n 6y an insuffera6le 69ther. 6ut in the end, that was what it was a69ut all al9ng. Y9u th9ught that y9ur 'justice' and y9ur 'virtue' w9uld let y9u pass p9wer 6y. And instead, p9wer passed y9u 6y. There is n9 warmth n9w, n9 invitati9n. There is 9nly the gr9wing c9ld, with n9thing left t9 claim as justice's vict9ry. And n9w... the fire awaits.” “:33 < how could you do this!” “What, did y9u n9t see me d9 it? Sh9uld I dem9nstrate again?” “:33 < no! i mean, was there really no part of your twisted black heart that told you that you shouldnt?” “Y9u are c9nfusing me greatly. It is alm9st as if y9u are supp9sing s9me standard acc9rding t9 which I sh9uld n9t have d9ne that.” “:33 < presuppose my ass! youre the one who keeps harping on about power without ever justifying it!” “Sigh. I th9ught we went 9ver this 6ef9re, Nepeta! I have nearly run 9ut 9f pe9ple t9 kill t9 make that p9int t9 y9u. I supp9se I will have t9 make d9 with what we have here.” Kankri stepped over to where Karkat was bleeding out and knelt down. “H9w are y9u feeling, Karkles?” “FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE, THAT NICKNAME TRIGGERS ME.” “I'm s9 s9rry. Let me trigger warn y9u ahead 9f time, then, this is g9ing t9 6e painful.” Kankri waved over the wound in Karkat's chest, and the claw glove twisted sharply. Karkat screamed and was still. Nepeta fell back in surprise and horror. Kankri stood up and towered over her. “Where is y9ur justice? What is it that justice wills 6e d9ne? Whatever it wills, I will against, str9nger, harder, and I will always win. Y9ur justice has failed this w9rld.” “:33 < no, kankri, no, thats not how it works. youre wrong, so wrong. thats not how justice is supposed to work.” “It d9esn't w9rk f9r anything, s9 it can't matter at all what it's supp9sed t9 w9rk f9r.” “:33 < but it does. youve been thinking all this time that justice is only about fighting injustice, and that you always had to overcome it, and that only injustice could do that. but you missed that you dont actually have to overcome it.” “Rather c9nvenient phil9s9phy f9r the girl wh9 tried 9ne last time t9 fight me, and l9st. Suddenly it's n9t a69ut winning anym9re! I'm sure y9u'll 6e quite the happy l9ser y9u always were. A shame y9u'll 6e letting everything y9u l9ve d9wn, n9t that y9u haven't d9ne that already. If 9nly y9u had res9rted t9 what I res9rted t9, when I still th9ught justice was w9rth pursuing. 6ut I realized (as y9u apparently haven't) that lacking in that line 9f duty is t9 cede the w9rld t9 injustice just as much as taking the last rec9urse and 6ec9ming the m9nster 9ne fights.” “:33 < but justice never included that as a requirement. fighting injustice is just, and never resorting to injustice when doing so is also just. but its because of the very fact you so adeptly determined that justice cant be held responsible for fully defeating injustice, if it is truly impossible without unjust recourse. all you have to do to be just is to fight injustice with all your ability, but that doesnt mean youll beat it.” “S9 y9u admit that p9wer wins 9ut.” Nepeta stood up and faced Kankri eye to eye. “:33 < justice doesnt have to win at winning. justice only has to win at justice.” “Excellent. Y9u play in y9ur sand69x and cede the w9rld t9 injustice, safe in y9ur 9wn little w9rld where everything is fine 6ecause it is. I can define myself a vict9ry t99. 6ut at least the 9ne I define f9r myself isn't s9 stupid as t9 give the w9rld up t9 the very thing it 9pp9ses.” “:33 < he who fights monsters must take care he does not also become a monster.” “Why n9t? If y9u're trying t9 fight m9nsters, why n9t 6ec9me 9ne if it will help y9u fight m9nsters m9re effectively?” “:33 < because then youre sure to always be left with one monster – yourself!” “9h, Nepeta, that s9unds s9 deep, it's a shame it's s9 wr9ng. Just st9p 6eing the m9nster when y9u're the 9nly m9nster left. Simple! 9r if y9u can't st9p, then let y9urself die. That's als9 a s9luti9n. This is really t99 easy a l9gic pr96lem. Y9u sh9uld think up s9mething harder next time y9u want t9 hide the egregi9us h9les in y9ur p9siti9n.” “:33 < how could you have become what you hated? cant you see that youve betrayed what you were fighting for?” “If the sum 9f the suffering 9f all th9se I have f9ught f9r, all the discriminati9n and hatred, if all 9f that is necessary t9 keep justice, then I pr9test that justice is n9t w9rth such a price. I w9uld rather d9 away with it and play 6y the actual rules 9f this w9rld, n9t the playings 9f a child in a sand69x. This is n9t a just w9rld.” “:33 < fine, this world is unjust! its a world of power and domination. but if justice isnt from this world, its got to be from another one. and if we do need justice, then maybe were from there too. shouldnt we try to find that world? but here you are, giving up whatever inheritance justice gave us, giving yourself up to this world. you forget your place.” “The inheritance 9f justice is suffering and suffering red9u6led. Justice cries 9ut f9r the relief 9f that which it gave its children! And y9u want t9 find this justice fr9m where we are, div9rced fr9m it? This I cann9t accept. N9w that I have the p9wer justice w9uld n9t take, I can d9 what justice never c9uld. I will fight injustice even if it makes me the greatest injustice 9f them all. I will c9ns9lidate all p9wer t9 myself, every spark and shred 9f it. I will crush w9rlds 6eneath my feet as I dev9ur them. When I find this w9rld y9u speak 9f, I will meet G9d. And then I will crush him t99.” “:33 < kankri, the end of the worlds-” “Can't y9u see it, th9ugh? When I l99k up9n a w9rld free 9f injustice save f9r myself, I will rej9ice, f9r I will have surpassed G9d. He c9uld 9nly make the w9rld in His image, 6ut I will d9 6etter. I will make the w9rld greater than my image.” Kankri held up the golden scale. The Geass sigil flashed in his eye, and it began to melt into his hand. Vriska and Terezi stumbled to their feet behind him. “:33 < what... is that?” asked Nepeta. “I think I shall enj9y the ar6itrary exercise 9f p9wer and n9t tell y9u what it is.” As the scale turned to nothing, the Geass sigil appeared in Kankri's other eye as it overloaded. A wind picked up and began to blow violently around Kankri. He laughed maniacally. “S9... much... p9wer!” he cackled. The exultant expression on his face slowly began to morph into worry. “I... I can't c9ntr9l it!” “How fitting,” Vriska spat. “PO3T1C JUST1C3,” smiled Terezi. “:33 < heh, you thought you were going to become god. but now... whats so funny?” Kankri chuckled to himself. Soon, he was heartily laughing. The three girls eyed each other quizzically. “9h man, y9u sh9uld have seen y9ur faces! Y9u all l99ked s9 seri9us, like y9u were alm9st winning and it was just a matter 9f seeing it thr9ugh! Ah, y9u're all s9 gulli6le. Even if I c9uldn't c9ntain all this p9wer, I have all this p9wer, s9 I can just make myself a6le t9 c9ntain it. What did y9u think I was g9ing t9 d9, make an amateur mistake and let it destr9y me?” Awkward looks were exchanged. “Anyway, j9ke 9ver, 6ack t9 the pr9gram. C9nquering all 9f reality, killing G9d, annihilating all 9f existence, and s9 9n.” Kankri snapped his fingers and was transfigured. What Mindfang has imitated, he was. The winds picked up and the whole world seemed to revolve around him. Behind him, the bird-like Geass sigil appeared and shone like angels' wings. When Kankri spoke, his voice resounded deifically through the foundation of creation. “I've g9t a schedule t9 keep. Time isn't g9ing t9 end itself, y9u kn9w.” “:33 < youre really going to go through with this, just for the sake of your philosophy?” “Y9u're really n9t g9ing t9 st9p me, just f9r the sake 9f y9urs?” Nepeta stood facing Kankri as they locked eyes. The wind whistled around them, humming a funeral march of the universe. “There is n9thing that y9u can d9 n9w. It w9uld 6e arr9gant t9 say that there was n9thing y9u c9uld d9 fr9m the 6eginning, 6ut y9u played s9 nicely int9 my hands that I supp9se that statement is inaccurate. Let me state this in n9 uncertain terms: y9u have l9st.” “:33 < i already told you, kankri. losing doesnt mean i cant win.” “Will y9u give in and 9verp9wer me n9w, when all things are at stake?” “:33 < think of it like a story, kankri. what would you think of a character who gave up just before the end? on the last page, theres only one thing left to do.” Nepeta walked through the storm to where Kankri stood at its heart. He watched her dispassionately. She stood before him and looked him in the eyes for a moment, her eyes watering slightly from staring directly at his figure. Then she spread her arms, stepped forward, and hugged him. “:33 < please, dont,” she whispered. “it doesnt have to end this way.” Kankri's arms remained at his sides as he regarded her. “Y9u have made y9ur peace. 6ut I will n9t accept it. I h9pe y9u have enj9yed the sh9w, 6ecause it's curtain call.” Kankri stretched his arms out and looked up into the starless night sky. “Let there 6e darkness,” he announced to the universe.
The End