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Lucky UsAll things considered, Midou Ban and Amano Ginji were pretty damn lucky. Despite their rocky and somewhat awkward start, they had managed to become decent partners in the retrieval business as well as in a more... romantic way. Sure they had to sleep in their car, and sure Ban sometimes worried about what his sub would have to eat the next day, but all things considered things were far better than he had ever envisioned them being after he had found out the full implications of his curse.Ban knew that he ought to be grateful. Considering the circumstances, he couldn't have hoped for anything better. But still he was not, could not be content. If he had been on his own it would have been one thing, but now he had Ginji to take care of. There was no way that he would have approved of any sub living the way they did, much less his own.Ban knew that their situation was probably his fault. He was the one who had the curse, so of course their schemes (all right, his schemes) wouldn't turn out as planned. Of course they would be perpetually poor, putting their lives in danger for their next meal, forced to cuddle in the back seat at night to keep from freezing to death. It would have been bad enough if Ban was in it by himself. That it was happening to Ginji was unforgivable.Ban knew, of course, that Ginji was tougher than he looked at first glance. He had grown up in Mugenjou, after all. But that didn't change the fact that despite his desperate trying, despite the hell he was willing to go through to ensure that they would be able to survive into even the next week, his curse still followed him like the shadow he cast, destroying the light they had managed to gather and turning it to dark.So there were times when Ban considered breaking with Ginji, in every way. It would hurt like hell to have no best friend, no sub, no GetBackers, but Ban was sure that having someone, anyone else would make Ginji so much happier. He would have a bed, and three meals a day, and a dom who wasn't cranky, difficult, and a perpetual raincloud on Ginji's parade. And Ban... Ban would leave and take his curse with him.To do that, to end their association, would have been the right thing to do, but Ban had never claimed to be a good person. In fact, he was a cold, selfish man, and for him to cut ties with one of the few- no, the only person he cared about more than his own stupid self was, in his mind, practically impossible. He would rather fight this useless battle against his curse with Ginji than leave and give his sub the life he deserved.(Because, if he was honest, the idea of dying alone, without Ginji, terrified that hell out of him.)Had it been anyone else, Ban might have been able to find the strength to do what he knew was right, but with every movement, every innocent smile, Amano Ginji undid him, and Ban, whose control of himself was usually so great, found the too tight spring loosen and his famous control melt away to nothing. It wasn't good, it wasn't safe, and Ban fought against it as hard as he could, but there were some things that he couldn't bear to give up even for the sake of Ginji, and that was the sub himself.Ginji would have said that he was being ridiculous. Ginji would have thrown his arms around him and reminded him about the "S" and what it meant. Ginji would have done a lot of things, but Ban never let anyone see him when he began to think thoughts like these, especially not Ginji. Ban had taken on a duty the day he became Ginji's dom- no, before that, when he had become his partner. Ban might have been failing miserably at protecting and providing for Ginji, but he could at least not make their situation worse by depending on his sub for support. His thoughts were his problems, and unless he ever managed to find the strength to do the right thing and break with Ginji, he wasn't going to bother his sub with his thoughts, his darkness.Still, Ginji was perceptive. Sometimes Ban thought that he could see through the carefully cultivated mask of cocky confidence. Those were the moments that Ban feared the most, because no matter what he did he couldn't be the invincible person he wanted to- no, needed to be for his sub's sake. One day Ban knew that his mask would crack for the last time, long enough for Ginji to reach out and peel the layers away to reveal Ban for what he was: a cold, dark person who could never come close to deserving Ginji as a sub.