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Seeing Dean as a demon had been one of the absolute hardest things that Castiel had ever experienced in his extremely long life. He’d been terrified that the cure would not work, and that he had lost Dean forever. He kept telling himself that Dean – his Dean, the Real Dean – wouldn't want to live as a demon, and would want Castiel to end him if he couldn't be cured. Castiel tried to stay strong and be prepared to honor that if the cure didn't work, but deep down he knew that even in a worst case scenario he would never be able to kill Dean. Fortunately Castiel was never put to the test. The cure worked. Dean was human again, although so long as he still had the Mark of Cain he was still at risk of a demonic relapse. Dean was in shock, Sam was emotionally beat, and Castiel, truth be told, was a lot more shaken up than he was trying to let on. Castiel suggested that Dean take some time to heal, and then he prepared to leave the bunker as soon as Sam got back. Even though he hated the idea of leaving Dean again as soon as he had just gotten him back, he figured that Dean probably needed some time to himself right now, and he didn't want to get in the way.But when Sam returned to the bunker with bags of burgers, pie, and beer, he took one look at Castiel and suddenly got very angry.“I don’t care if there is another apocalypse to stop – if you leave Dean right now I’ll never forgive you, and neither should Dean!” Sam threatened. Castiel blinked for a moment in shock.“Alright,” Castiel replied slowly, “but I thought you said you both needed to rest before starting to search for a cure for the Mark . . . .”“I didn't just mean you should stay to help with the Mark of Cain,” Sam cut in. “Dean just needs you here now with him – now more than ever. Just stay in the bunker with us, at least for a while. For Dean’s sake. Please.”Castiel wasn't sure what use he would be hanging around the bunker except maybe to help Sam research in the library, but he nodded anyway. His heart leaped at the thought of spending at least a few more days with Dean, even though he was sure that Dean probably wouldn't be up for much during that time. But Dean had said that he was glad that Castiel was here, hadn't he? Perhaps Dean wouldn't mind too much if Castiel imposed on the Winchesters for a few days.“I’ll tell Hannah to continue her mission without me,” Castiel told Sam, and went to go say a quick good-bye. He knew that Hannah wouldn't understand his reasons for staying since she had never liked Dean. She wouldn't understand that for Castiel, even the slightest chance of helping Dean was reason enough to stay for as long as he was welcome in the bunker. After all, Hannah had essentially kidnapped him and tried to make a deal with Metatron behind his back in lieu of getting to Dean earlier. She clearly had no idea what Dean meant to Castiel. Besides, Castiel had doubts that he and Hannah had even been on the right path with her mission. Castiel felt a sense of relief as he watched Hannah drive away. Then Castiel headed back inside to Dean.
As Castiel feared, Dean seemed surprised that Castiel was still around the next day.“Afraid that I’m going to try to kill Sam again?” Dean asked him.“No,” Castiel told him truthfully. “I do not think that it is likely that you will have a relapse of that magnitude so soon.” Dean seemed a little relieved at that, but then he momentarily tensed with his next question.“So how long are you staying?” Dean asked, biting his lip and not meeting Castiel’s eyes.“For as long as I can be of help to you, unless if you feel like I’m imposing . . . ,” Castiel started to say.“No!” Dean jumped in quickly. “You’re not imposing, Cas. You’re family, so mi casa es su casa, and all that. Besides – you said it was quiet out there now. You could probably do with a rest and some time to heal too.”“Thank you Dean,” Castiel told him with a warm smile. He felt a surge of affection and gratitude that Dean was willing to let Castiel stay in his home with him.“Don’t mention it,” Dean replied. For the first time since the cure, Dean had hints of a smile on his face.
Dean seemed to relax more after that conversation, as if he was as relieved as Castiel was about Castiel staying longer. He still spent most of his time alone in his room (when he wasn't trying to fix the Impala because that was “something he could fix”), and didn't quite have his usual gusto with his burgers and pie, but Castiel had suspected as much. Castiel joined Dean sometimes in sitting together quietly while listening to Metalica for a few hours. When Castiel wasn't with Dean, he spent many hours poring over books in the library with Sam, looking for any leads on the Mark of Cain.Occasionally Castiel started taking brief walks outside of the bunker. Being confined in such a small space for long periods of time without the ability to fly anywhere he wanted was something that he feared that he would never get used to. It was usually very peaceful, and Castiel enjoyed being around nature.One evening as Castiel was walking around, he was startled by a flurry of sound and movement. There was a fox chasing a little brown tabby kitten. Castiel immediately felt a pang of sadness for the kitten, but wasn't sure that he should intervene. As sad as the loss of life always was, it was how his Father had designed this world, and the fox needed to eat. Despite how unusually fast the kitten was sprinting on its short legs, it wouldn't be long before the fox caught up to it. But then the tabby kitten saw Castiel, and changed direction to sprint straight towards him. The look of terror and pleading in those bright green eyes spurred Castiel to action.“Stop!” Castiel yelled, and ran towards the kitten. The fox was clearly not as comfortable as the kitten around humans (or at least, human-shaped angels), so the fox ran off into the bushes.“You are most fortunate,” Castiel told the kitten when he reached it. This really was no place for a kitten. Cities had services that helped lost pets get reunited with their human companions, didn't they? Perhaps Castiel could take the kitten into town and drop it off at such a place. But when Castiel tried to pick up the kitten, it dodged his arms. The kitten sprinted away a few feet, then looked back over its shoulder at Castiel.“Mrowl!” the kitten insisted, wanting Castiel to follow him. Perhaps the kitten lived nearby and had just gotten locked out? There was a hint of desperation and urgency in the kitten’s tone. Castiel decided to follow. The kitten seemed upset at how much slower Castiel moved on only two legs, but seemed concerned enough that the fox might still be watching to not get too far ahead. The kitten led Castiel to some bushes not too far away.“Mew! Mew!” the kitten cried as soon as they were close to the bushes. To Castiel’s surprise, two other kittens popped out of the bushes. They ran over to the first kitten and started nuzzling and licking each other in reassurance that they were all safe. Castiel smiled at the little family.“You were playing decoy, weren't you?” Castiel asked the kitten. Did the kitten just smirk at him? This kitten was reminding him more and more of someone else who was known for reckless acts of self-endangerment in order to protect others. Castiel sighed in exasperation.“Don’t do that again,” Castiel chastised the kitten. “Don’t you realize how much you mean to those who love you? Your family would be devastated if something happened to you. If you truly love them then you need to learn to take care of yourself better.” The kitten blinked back at him in confusion and surprise. Since the kitten was still only approximately 59 ½ days old, perhaps it wasn't yet so stubbornly set in its ways that it couldn't learn that valuable lesson. At the very least, Castiel wanted to help it live long enough to have that chance.Castiel knelt down and examined the three kittens. One of the other kittens was also a brown tabby with longer fur and yellowish eyes. The third kitten was black with a white belly and blue eyes. All were male and uninjured. Castiel used a little bit of his grace to search for the computerized chips that humans sometimes put in animals, but didn't find any. Of course identifying the kittens couldn't be that easy. He decided to take the kittens back to the bunker while he planned out what to do next.Castiel was worried what the Winchesters might say about him bringing kittens into their home. They were already kind enough to let a stray angel stay with them – but stray cats too? Besides, Dean was stressed out enough without adding kitten-care to his list of worries, so perhaps this was one mission that would be better for Castiel to tackle alone.In that case, Castiel needed to sneak the kittens into the bunker. Dean would probably notice if Castiel walked in the front door with his pockets mewing, so obviously that wasn't going to work. Instead, Castiel took the kittens into the bunker garage. The garage was secure – the kittens would be safe hiding there until Castiel could retrieve them. After telling the kittens to keep quiet and behave, Castiel went back around outside to the front door of the bunker.The Winchesters were both in the library eating nachos and watching something on a laptop that was apparently funny. Both brothers were laughing, which was a good sign even if Dean’s smile didn't quite meet his still haunted looking eyes. Dean motioned Cas over as soon as he saw him walk in the door. Castiel peered at the computer screen with interest. It was some sort of old film filled with “slapstick” – a strange type of behavior that humans found rather hilarious for reasons that Castiel had yet to fully grasp. It seemed odd to delight in someone elses’ misfortune, minor as it might be. Still, Castiel pulled up a chair and spent the next few hours studying the film closely in hopes that he might get a breakthrough in understanding. Dean always seemed to appreciate whenever Castiel made an effort to learn more about the nuances of human cultures, and tonight was no exception.“Since when do you shed?” Dean asked, picking a piece of dark fur off of the collar of Castiel’s trenchcoat. None of the kittens had even come into contact with that spot, so Castiel had no idea how a piece of fur had gotten there.“My apologies,” Castiel mumbled. It was hard to avoid Dean’s eyes when they were only inches away from his own. Dean’s scoff and eye roll seemed to imply that Dean thought that this was a stupid thing for Castiel to be apologizing for (it was hard to tell sometimes what warranted an apology and what didn't). But there also seemed to be an undercurrent of worry in Dean’s gaze that Castiel didn't quite understand.After Sam and Dean eventually went to bed, Castiel made his way back to the garage to retrieve the kittens. He wasn't prepared for the sight that awaited him.The kittens were on top of the Impala.The green eyed kitten was on the roof of the Impala, reaching a paw down to bat at the other two kittens who were on the hood of the car. Castiel was across the room so fast that it almost felt like flying again. He swooped up all three kittens, then examined the Impala closely. Dean would absolutely kill him if there was so much as a scratch on his Baby, especially after Dean had been working so hard to get “her” back in mint condition. (Castiel was bewildered by humans’ tendency to assign gender to inanimate objects, but he had a feeling that it would be a very bad idea to question the Impala’s female status to Dean.) The kittens tried to squirm out of Castiel’s arms, but Castiel refused to let them go while he examined every inch of the Impala’s paint job. Fortunately, he didn't see a single scratch on the surface. Unfortunately, he did find a whole lot of cat fur. It was truly remarkable how much these three kittens had shed during the short time that Castiel had left them in the garage. Castiel tried brushing the fur off the car with his hand, but it was surprisingly uncooperative. He had underestimated the static cling of the fur to the car, which would sometimes draw the newly-airborne fur back to get stuck on the car again.The squirming and mewing of the kittens was getting more insistent, so Castiel reluctantly resigned himself to coming back later to de-fur the Impala. First he needed to get the kittens settled into temporary lodgings. Castiel had already chosen an out-of-the-way old bedroom down one of the halls that the Winchesters didn't use much. The kittens shouldn't be discovered there. The kittens practically leaped out of Castiel’s arms when he dropped them off in the bedroom. When he returned a few minutes later with some water and some leftover hamburger that he borrowed from the Winchesters, the kittens were clearly having great fun exploring the small room. The long furred kitten had found what looked to be a very comfortable spot on the pillow on the bed. The black kitten had climbed up on top of a precariously piled stack of boxes (Castiel would have to secure them later). As Castiel walked into the room, the green eyed kitten leaped out of his hiding place to pounce on Castiel’s feet, before scampering off again like it was some sort of a game.Castiel couldn't help smiling.
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The next morning Dean started sneezing.Castiel joined the Winchesters for breakfast after painstakingly removing every piece of cat fur he could find from his clothes. Had he used his angel “mojo” then the task would have taken only a fraction of a second, but Castiel didn't want to waste what little Grace he had on such trivial matters.Castiel tried to help Dean cook the eggs and bacon, but Dean seemed to doubt that an angel who had been watching humans cook since humans had first discovered fire had the ability to cook eggs without burning them. So, Castiel settled for pouring drinks and setting the table. Dean proceeded to sneeze multiple times while cooking, swearing under his breath each time he narrowly avoided sneezing in the eggs."I dink dat becobming human again resed bmy ibmmune sysdem," Dean complained as the three of them sat down to breakfast. He sneezed again just for good measure. Dean did sound a little congested and his eyes were getting slightly red and watery. It was actually rather . . . adorably human. Castiel tried not to smile too much at just how endearing Dean looked. It was such a complete contrast to the powerful demon he'd been a few days ago that it was really refreshing."Either that, or you are just allergic to Cas," Sam chimed in, getting glares from both Dean and Castiel. "What? You sneeze more every time he gets near you." Castiel was suddenly very self conscious of just how close he was sitting to Dean."De whole . . . demon ding didn'd give me an allergy do angels, did id?" Dean asked, sounding worried. His watery green eyes gave a pleading look to Castiel."Demons don't have allergies. Besides, you never showed any signs of an allergic reaction when you were a demon," Castiel assured him. He leaned closer and started sniffing Dean. "But I don't smell any bacterial infections in your system . . . ." Castiel sniffed Dean again. Dean jumped out of his seat and took a few steps back."Dude! Ednough wid de sniffing - id's creepy!" Dean protested with a shudder. Castiel tilted his head in confusion at Dean's reaction."It allows me to gain an accurate picture of your health without resorting to using my Grace to examine your molecules directly," Castiel explained. "I don't understand your reluctance. This is quite common in many other Earth animals." Cats, for instance, seemed much more logical than Dean."Yeah Dean - you should remember from when you were a dog . . . ," Sam said with a smirk."For de lasd dime - I did NOD ged de urge do sniff budds!" Dean snapped. Sam just laughed."You were a dog?" Castiel asked."Long sdory," Dean mumbled miserably. Averting Castiel's eyes, he blew his nose loudly."Dean - I don't understand your embarrassment over completely normal things," Castiel told him gently, but Dean just scowled at him. The effect didn't look nearly as menacing as it usually did when Dean's sinuses were puffing up around his red watery eyes. As it was, Dean looked about as threatening as one of the kittens hidden in the spare bedroom. Castiel would have liked to keep sniffing Dean. He wanted to examine how quickly Dean's arterial health was declining again from too much cholesterol, and investigate the sweet smelling hormones that seemed to have shifted after Castiel started sniffing. But out of respect for Dean's comfort, Castiel reluctantly stopped.
It was surprisingly difficult for Castiel to sneak away to tend to the kittens, especially while smuggling food, in the middle of the day while the Winchesters were up and about. He realized early on that he wouldn't be able to carry the food in his arms, so he ended up stuffing it in his pockets. Then, of course, he ran into Dean between the kitchen and the spare bedroom. Fortunately, Dean's nose was too stopped up to smell the aroma of food coming from Castiel's pockets. Although Dean did give him a weird look and bite his lip, so Castiel figured that he wasn't the best at acting unsuspicious. Castiel was relieved when Dean chose not to comment or try to follow him after they parted.Castiel's relief was short lived though when he saw the state of the spare bedroom.The kittens had taken to shredding the sides of one of the cardboard boxes with their claws. The black kitten was still actively chewing on a piece of shredded cardboard, which made Castiel hope that they hadn't gotten hungry enough to try to obtain nutrition from cardboard (of which there was essentially none to speak of).Castiel barely got the door closed behind him before he was swarmed by mewing kittens sniffing at his pockets and attempting to climb up his legs. Worried that the noise they were making would attract attention, Castiel quickly transferred the food and water he brought into their bowls. The kittens, like most intelligent animals, promptly sniffed the food before tasting it. Why did humans not make more used of their sense of smell?While the kittens were happily occupied with the food (inhaling it as badly as Dean was prone to sometimes), Castiel surveyed the damage to the room. Fortunately, the box that the kittens had decided to sharpen their claws on was not full of books or other irreplaceable old papers. The contents were just a bunch of metal curse boxes (which couldn't be damaged by claws). Castiel made a note to relocate all of the other boxes in the room as soon as possible to prevent any further damage. There were also a few coughed up hairballs, but otherwise the floor wasn't too soiled aside from the fur and cardboard pieces. Castiel was relieved that the kittens seemed to have taken to the make-shift litter-box that he had made for them early that morning from some of the gravel on the side of the road.After the kittens finished eating, they were very eager for attention. Castiel knew that kittens liked to play games that helped them hone their hunting skills, and had managed to find a suitable object for them to chase. Sam had just tossed out an old roll of scotch tape, and Castiel had decided to repurpose the center ring as something that he could roll for the kittens. It was a durable toy with no small parts that could break off easily. As an added bonus, as such a small and light-weight object it was easy for the kittens to grab with their claws (or in the case of the green eyed kitten, carry in his mouth).Still, Castiel knew better than to stay too long. He didn't want the Winchesters to realize that he was gone or start looking for him. His clothes had acquired a surprising amount of fur for having only been in the room with the kittens for a few minutes. With a sigh, Castiel set about picking it all off before rejoining the Winchesters.
While Castiel had been foolishly attempting to organize an angel army, he had acquired his first laptop. He had even learned (somewhat) how to use it (mostly by Sam's help). His laptop seemed the best place to start researching a home for the kittens.Castiel was still trying to “get the hang of” using Google to find relevant information. This usually proved to be much more of a challenge than the relatively simple mechanics of basic laptop operations. But then again, the search software was designed to appeal to human logic, not angelic. During Castiel’s years on Earth he had become far more proficient in the human way of thinking, but times like this proved that he still had much to learn. There seemed to be an overabundance of information on cats on the internet. Castiel tilted his head in confusion as he tried to make sense of some of the webpages he came across.“What are you reading about, Cas?” Sam asked as he strolled into the library.“Some of these images appear to have some sort of strange code transcribed on top of them, and what few English words there are tend to be horribly misspelled,” Castiel mused as he tried to analyze the meaning of what he was seeing, as well as the purpose of the encryption. Humans only used codes for important information that needed to be kept out of the hands of the wrong people, right? But none of the text seemed to correspond to any of the codes that Castiel was familiar with. Perhaps the strange photos that accompanied the text were relevant?Sam walked over to look over Castiel’s shoulder at the laptop screen, and Castiel let him. He highly doubted that there was anything on the screen that would give away the true purpose of his mission. He hadn't been very successful at all thus far in his search. However Castiel was not expecting Sam’s snort of laughter, followed by a prolonged chuckle.“What’s so funny?” Castiel asked when Sam didn't seem to be ready to stop laughing anytime soon. But Sam seemed to be even more amused by Castiel’s confusion.“Hey Dean!” Sam called, and Dean stuck his head in the room a few seconds later. “Cas discovered lol cats!”“Whad de hell is lol cads?” Dean asked, still sounding stopped up, and looking as confused as Castiel felt. Dean strolled over to come see for himself.“Dude, seriously? Would it kill you to familiarize yourself with social media?” Sam retorted. Castiel didn't get the reference, but from the way that Dean rolled his eyes at Sam, Castiel assumed that Sam had meant his statement as a joke rather than in reference to something that could actually cause harm to Dean. Then Dean started chuckling a little as he scrolled through the images. It was great to see something start to cheer Dean up, but that made Castiel even more curious about the contents of this website.“You are familiar with the code being used?” Castiel asked, and Dean laughed.“It’s not a code, Cas,” Sam finally took pity on him and explained. “Everything being spelled out like it sounds rather than the real spelling is part of the joke. It’s one of the tropes of ‘I can has cheezburger.’”“That is grammatically incorrect,” Castiel replied with a frown.“Heh, yeah – lol cats have bad grammar to go with their bad spelling,” Sam told him. Humans had some really strange concepts of humor sometimes.“Are they meant to imply that the cats are not educated? Because even though cats lack the physical structures necessary to form human words, they are capable of advanced listening comprehension when given prolonged exposure to humans, and their own languages are . . . ,” Castiel began.“Cas – Cas!” Dean interrupted, raising his hand up until Castiel ceased his attempt to enlighten the Winchesters about feline linguistics. “Dese are jusd sdupid inderned jokes. Don’d overdink dem.”Castiel sighed and nodded. The purpose of corrupting the English language may not make sense, but now that he knew how to read it, he tried again to get the other jokes. Many of the cat images were rather cute, or unfortunate in what was meant to be an amusing way, and some of the jokes were indeed funny. Dean cracked a broad grin when Castiel laughed lightly at one of the jokes. Then Dean promptly sneezed again, narrowly missing Castiel.Dean walked across the room to grab more tissues, but paused a few feet away. He bent down to pick something up, and then returned with a tiny piece of cardboard in his hand.“Guys, dis is de dird piece of cardboard I’be sdepped on in de lasd hour. Where de hell are dey coming from?” Dean asked. Sam shrugged, and Castiel tried to look nonchalant as well. It probably helped that Castiel was honestly mystified as to how so much evidence of the kittens’ presence was managing to scatter itself around the bunker.
“Humans seem to think that you prefer burgers that have cheese on them – is that correct?” Castiel asked the kittens later. He was feeding them more leftover hamburger, but this time he had added cheese on top. Castiel found it improbable that the kittens would enjoy many of the other toppings that humans enjoyed on burgers, like extra onions, so for the moment he was sticking to just giving them meat and cheese. From the way that the kittens were gobbling down the bite-sized little cheeseburgers, it was clear that they liked cheeseburgers just fine. The way that they were very thoroughly licking their lips after the meal was further proof that they’d found the food very satisfactory.Castiel glanced around the room for the makeshift toy that he’d given the kittens earlier, but didn't see it. Frowning, he started to search the room. Where could it have gone? The room was small enough that it shouldn't be this hard to locate one toy. Castiel was somewhat hampered in his search by the way that the kittens were winding themselves around his legs and nuzzling him. While it was flattering that the kittens wanted to scent mark him, it did make his search for the missing toy considerably more difficult.Then Castiel froze as the door to the room creaked open, and Dean walked in.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
For a moment Cas caught a glimpse of the astonished look on Dean’s face. Then Dean promptly sneezed. With a groan, Dean’s expression morphed to one of exasperation.“Cads? Really Cas?” Dean grumbled.“They were nearly eaten by a fox. I was attempting to research a safe place to take them. I apologized for the intrusion,” Cas replied.“Guess dat explains bmy allergies,” Dean grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Cobme on – we’ll help you find an animal shelder.”“You are not angry?” Cas asked in surprise. He hadn't expected Dean to take this so well.“Well I don’d like dat you wend behind bmy back aboud id,” Dean replied with a look that made Cas want to do better in the future. “But I can’d fauld your habid of sabing dings.” Dean’s eyes softened at those last words, and Cas knew that Dean wasn't just talking about the kittens anymore. The most recent time that Cas had saved Dean was very fresh on both of their minds. Dean’s choice of words “saving things” was not lost on Cas either – he knew that humans often referred to animals as “things” due to speciesist notions that made them view animals as inferior to humans. However, here Dean also seemed to be referring to himself – as the demon that he had been – as a “thing” and that bothered Cas. Dean had a horrible habit of devaluing himself, and Cas was sure that this latest incident had only made the issue worse. Cas didn't like Dean thinking of himself – at any point in his existence – as being a “thing.”“Everyone that I have saved has been worth everything it took to save them,” Cas replied, trying to reach out to Dean’s troubled soul with his eyes. Dean’s own eyes responded back with understanding and gratitude – but only behind a thick layer of disbelief and self-hatred.“Sorry Cas, bud I dink dat record is going to ged broken,” Dean told him, voice breaking as he averted his gaze.“No!” Cas almost shouted. “You will always be worth saving!” He tried to reach out to touch Dean’s shoulder, but Dean dodged.“Don’d you get id Cas?” Dean snapped angrily. “All you and Sammy did was buy bme a demporary reprieve. De Mark’s going do durn bme back indo a demon.” Cas was vaguely aware that the noise that they were making was causing the kittens to run for cover under the bed on the opposite side of the room, but he could deal with them later.“Sam and I will find a way to save you from the Mark,” Cas insisted, trying to beg Dean with his eyes to have faith for once in his life, if not in God, then in him and his resolve to do whatever it took to save Dean. But Dean resolutely refused to meet his gaze.“Doo late. You caughd a dasde of whad de Mark durned bme indo,” Dean replied.“Whatever the Mark made you do, it wasn't your fault,” Cas insisted.“No Cas – id was. No madder how dwisted a version of 'bme' dat was, id was sdill 'bme.' Every doughd and action I did were all choices I made, and I have to libe with that,” Dean told him.“It wasn't all you Dean. The Mark . . . ,” Cas began.“De Mark was a choice I made doo, so I can’d blame id for bmy actions any more dan you can blame de Purgadory souls for whad you did when you dried do play God,” Dean stubbornly insisted. Cas winced at the reminder of all the devastation that he had caused.“But Dean – I was able to come back from that because you believed in me, because you saved me,” Cas reminded him, and the power of his eyes eventually seemed to win Dean’s gaze in return. “I believe in you Dean, so believe in me now. Sam and I will save you, and you will come back from this too.” Cas saw the tiniest flicker of hope appear in Dean’s scared green eyes, but it was enough. With a little bit of hope, they had pulled off many miracles before.Cas wasn't sure how long he basked in that little flicker of hope in Dean’s eyes, but he was startled out of it when Dean suddenly yelped and jumped a few feet. Cas caught a glimpse of a brown blur leaping straight between Dean’s bowed legs. The corners of Cas’ mouth twitched slightly upwards as he watched the furry culprit continue to race around the room while chasing a small insect.“Dat wasn’d funny Cas!” Dean protested, briefly turning red before launching into a fit of sneezing. Cas disagreed, but didn't say anything. One of Dean’s quirks (perhaps common with other humans too) was that even if something was considered funny when it happened to other people, it was no longer considered funny when it happened to oneself. Indeed, funny things happening to Dean often elicited embarrassment and anger from him, although sometimes that anger wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Human humor was a very difficult concept to grasp, but Cas was proud of the progress he’d been making.“Dell me someding, Cas,” Dean predictably changed the subject after he recovered. “Dis bunker is warded againsd every dype of supernadural ebil I’be eber come across, and eben can’d be dracked by human methods either. So how can de bugs get in? Isn’d dere some kind of bug wards dat we can put up?” The kitten continued to toy with the insect, clearly enjoying the hunt too much to put the insect out of its misery.“I've never heard of any warding spells for insects,” Cas replied with amusement. “Or at least none of the angels have ever bothered creating any wards against any mortal creatures.”“Dat sounds like angels – always underesdimating anyding weaker dan dem,” Dean retorted with an eye roll. The two other kittens were happily watching the green eyed kitten play with the insect.“Humans throughout the centuries have often kept cats to keep the presence of rodents and insects in check. Their hunting skills are very impressive,” Cas commented. For some reason this made Dean groan.“Hunders can’d have peds, Cas. Besides – I’be got allergies, and dose dwo seem doo scared of me do cobme near bme,” Dean replied, motioning to two of the onlookers who were still hiding under the bed on the opposite side of the room from Dean.“Well, you were being rather loud earlier, and they haven’t gotten to know you yet,” Cas replied. He wondered if he could help Dean’s allergies.“I doubd cads would like an ex-demon,” Dean mumbled. Cas shot a glare at Dean and decided that the best way to shut down that train of thought would be to prove Dean wrong. He swooped down and picked up the blue eyed kitten and walked him over to Dean. The kitten eyed Dean warily. Cas then gently took Dean’s hand and placed it palm up a few inches in front of the kitten’s nose. Dean tried to protest, but Cas shut him up with a look. The kitten started sniffing, then stretched out further until it could more easily sniff Dean’s hand. Then after a few minutes, the kitten started licking Dean’s fingers.The look of shock and wonder on Dean’s face was priceless, and it warmed Cas’ heart to see it. After a while Dean actually started smiling and petting the kitten with his other hand. But the moment was broken as soon as Dean sneezed again. A pained look crossed Dean’s face that Cas recognized as the kind Dean always got when he was denying himself something he wanted.“Bobby used to have a dog,” Cas reminded Dean. Since finding the Bunker, the Winchesters now had a home base for the first time in their lives. Hunters with stable homes could have pets. Cas hadn't realized before that Dean might actually want some, but now…“I’ll help you find a good home for dem,” Dean replied and left the room. With a sign, Cas followed.
Sam was much more willing to admit his feelings for the kittens. He laughed with amusement as the green eyed kitten and the yellow eyed kitten tumbled together over the floor in the hunting practice exercises that cats enjoyed. The kittens batted each other with their paws, and gave each other light nips with their teeth. Meanwhile, the blue eyed kitten was silently stalking closer, crouching so low his belly was almost on the ground. He started wiggling his lower body in preparation to pounce on the two unsuspecting and distracted other kittens. But then all of the kittens suddenly jumped when Dean cleared his throat loudly.
“So, I’be uh, found de address of the local humane sociedy,” Dean announced, looking up from the screen of the laptop.“Is it a no-kill shelter?” Sam asked in a concerned tone.“No-kill shelter?” Cas asked. Dean and Sam both shifted uncomfortably.“Er, well Cas,” Sam explained, “animal shelters often receive many more pets than they are able to care for. So, uh, most shelters have to kill the extra animals.”Cas blinked in horror and shock at these words. He knew that humans, like many other species, killed other animals for food. But no humans in this part of the world would ever kill “pet” animals for food because they were categorized as “family.” Yet here there were humans that would kill animals simply because they didn't have a home. Cas himself had been homeless not that long ago, and as rough as it had been, he’d still wanted to live. The thought of these or any other cats losing their lives because they were homeless was horrible. “Don’d worry, Cas,” Dean reassured him quickly, “we won’d let anyone kill dese kittens. So no animal shelder – we’ll figure something else oud.” Cas met Dean’s eyes and conveyed his gratitude and affection for the hunter. Dean’s eyes reflected that same gratitude and affection back at Cas in a way that somehow made Cas’ throat feel oddly tight. Not that long ago, when Dean was a demon, he wouldn't have cared about the fate of three little kittens – he might have even killed them for sport. But now, Dean was willing to go out of his way to make sure that the kittens would be safe. It felt so good to have HIS Dean back.“So,” Sam interrupted with the fake cough he sometimes made to indicate he was feeling awkward, but Cas had no idea what could have caused Sam to feel awkward. “I've gotta run into town for some groceries – I’ll check to see if anyone has put up any “lost kittens” posters while I’m there.”“Danks Sammy,” Dean called as Sam raced out of the room with unusual speed. Dean’s puzzled frown matched Cas’ own.“Did I say something to make Sam uncomfortable?” Cas asked.“I don’d dink so,” Dean replied with a shrug. “Sam can just be weird somedimes. Did I dell you aboud how he dook up jogging as a hobby? Like we don’d already do ednough running when dings are chasing us.” Dean scoffed like the idea of running for pleasure was crazy.“Cats often run for fun,” Cas commented as he watched the three kittens chasing each other around the bunker. “I’m sure they benefit from the endorphins the action releases, along with how it fine-tunes their hunting skills.” Dean just rolled his eyes.
Cas rummaged through the bunker’s supply cabinet full of unusual ingredients. He was grateful that the Men of Letters were so well stocked. He started mixing ingredients in a small brass bowl. Within a few minutes he had mixed a number of liquids and powders into a smooth paste. Then he added the final ingredients – three cat hairs, one from each cat. After a few choice words in Enochian, he dropped a match and lit the concoction on fire. Once the fire had burned itself out and the green smoke had cleared, all that was left in the bowl was a few pinches of a fine powder.
The spell was ready – now all Cas need to do was add it to a cup of hot tea for Dean.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Fortunately Dean had accepted the tea without too much fuss. Cas knew that while Dean was a “mother hen” (as Sam called him) about all of the people Dean took care of, he was not very good at accepting the same kind of care in return. Sam had also theorized that Dean was better at accepting help from Cas than he was at accepting help from Sam. This idea confused Cas. Shouldn’t Dean be more willing to accept help from his own brother, with whom he was so incredibly close? But Cas couldn’t argue with Sam’s observation – Dean was far more likely to scoff at Sam’s “mother hen” efforts than he was at Cas doing the same things.But Sam and Cas weren’t the only ones imposing their company on Dean when he tried to seclude himself in his bedroom. Dean quickly learned that he couldn’t keep his bedroom door closed without causing one or more cats to sit outside it and meow until Dean gave up and opened the door. The cats didn’t always necessarily want to go into Dean’s room – they just complained about the door being closed.Even though Dean scowled and complained whenever one of the kittens meowed at his door, Cas wasn’t convinced that he was really as irritated by the cats as he acted like he was. When Dean thought that nobody was looking, he would occasionally scratch behind the ears of a purring kitten curled up next to him. These small glimpses of Dean and the cats warmed Cas’ heart, but he knew better than to comment and make Dean self-conscious about it. Dean’s tender and loving side was something that had to be shared on Dean’s terms.Every day Sam would check Lebanon for reports of missing kittens, but every day he came back with no leads. On the other hand, after the first day, Dean didn’t really do anything to actually help with the search. Sure he’d talk about how they needed to find the cats a home, but Cas couldn’t help but suspect that Dean was secretly not very motivated for the cats to leave the Bunker. But both Cas and Sam were very worried about Dean – ever since they had cured him it had been difficult to engage him and reach him. Even though he was physically here, mentally he was far away. “Woah there Nutmeg!” Sam said with a laugh as he caught the green-eyed kitten mid-air when the kitten tried to race out of the Bunker door as Sam came inside.“Nutmeg? Dude – one, we are not naming the cats. If we do that you’re going to get attached. And two – he is not going to be called Nutmeg,” Dean scowled.“What’s wrong with Nutmeg?” Cas asked.“I don’t like it when people give pets cutesy names,” Dean explained with an eye roll, “He needs a man’s name like Zeppelin or something.”“Do you like the name Zeppelin?” Cas asked the green eyed kitten, feeling like he should have some say in the matter. The tiny hunter briefly tilted his head in contemplation (a movement that he seemed to have picked but from Cas), then meowed his agreement.“Zeppelin it is,” Cas translated then turned back to Dean. “What names would fit the other cats?” Dean only scowled. It really was a sign just how not-himself he was when it took Dean 3 days to notice that his stuffy nose was gone and his allergies were no longer bothering him… even though the cats were still around. Dean had been too busy moping around and withdrawing from the world to pick up on how much better he was feeling… physically at least. Cas wished that Dean’s emotional pain was as easy to cure.“Okay – what’d you do, Cas?” Dean demanded.“I have done lots of things…,” Cas started to say.“Cut the crap, Cas – I mean what did you do to my allergies?” Dean snapped back.“I concocted a simple spell from the cats’ fur to make you immune to whatever irritants your body was reacting to. I’m not sure if other cats will still trouble your allergies, but these three no longer will,” Cas explained.“So what, you just decided to up and cure me without asking me?” Dean snapped.“I’ve never needed to ask your permission to heal you before,” Cas replied with a frown, particularly troubled by Dean’s use of the world ‘cure.’ “Do you regret that Sam and I cured you of your demonhood?” Dean’s eyes widened enormously.“No! Of course not,” Dean insisted, but he didn’t sound entirely convincing, so Cas raised his eyebrows. “I never wanted to be turned into a demon. I was evil and I had to be stopped. I still have to be stopped. Cas please – don’t let me ever become that thing again. Stop me – whatever it takes.”The look on Dean’s face was absolutely heart breaking. Cas couldn’t bear to tell him the truth – Cas couldn’t stop Dean by using “whatever it takes.” There was one thing that Cas could never do – kill Dean. Cas knew because even though he had seen Dean as a full Knight of Hell who would have killed them all – Cas still wouldn’t have been able to kill Dean. Not to save Sam. Certainly not to save himself. Not even to save the rest of the world. The thought was terrifying – it really could come down to choosing Dean or the world – and against Dean’s wishes – he would, forever and always, choose Dean. Dean had a tendency to forget just how much stronger angel senses were than human senses. As such, Dean probably didn’t realize that Cas heard him when he started talking to the cats. It was rare when Dean opened up about his feelings to anyone at all, which made Cas even more surprised that Dean was opening up to someone he’d just met. Was it because Dean had a natural affinity for anyone who was orphaned and alone in the world? Or perhaps it was because they were such considerate and attentive listeners, particularly the blue-eyed one. Dean seemed to talk to the blue-eyed one the most, so maybe that was it, although it could also be because he was the best “lap cat” out of the three.Whenever Dean started talking to one of the cats, Cas always had to fight the urge to run immediately to Dean’s side and try to offer Dean companionship and comfort himself too. But Cas knew that if Dean wanted to talk to him, he would. For whatever reason, Dean wasn’t ready to talk to Cas, or even Sam yet – but he sought solace in these tiny kittens. It stung a little, not to be the one that Dean was confiding in like he used to be, but Cas was glad Dean was talking to someone at least. It was a refreshing change to how Dean so often bottled things up.“You guys really shouldn’t like me so much,” Dean was saying. “You wouldn’t if you knew what I’d done. What I was. What I still am, in some ways… because deep down I know I’m still a monster. I can still feel it inside of me. The hunger. The need to kill – the want to kill. Not that I was ever exactly a saint before, but I at least tried to do the right thing, tried to help people. I used to think that maybe if I worked hard enough, in the end I could do more good than bad. But this Mark changed all of that – it twisted everything up inside of me. I no longer cared about anything or anyone – it was pure and free in a way that I’d never experienced before. And I liked it. I even killed people – innocent civilians that I should have been protecting – and I liked it. How messed up is that? Even worse – there’s a part of me that misses that, that wants to go back to that. More than anything, I wish I couldn’t feel that way. Because that’s what makes me a monster, a monster in a way that Sam and Cas can’t ever understand. Because even when he was at his worst – drinking gallons of demon blood – Sam hated what he had to do to get his power. Cas too – even when Cas was pumped full of purgatory souls he still felt remorse, and still had a, somewhat twisted, sense of righteousness to him. But me…”Cas couldn’t take it anymore. Regardless of trying to respect Dean’s wishes about “personal space” and privacy, Cas couldn’t just stand by and listen to Dean hating himself so much. Even without his wings, Cas was by Dean’s side fast enough to make the human jump. The blue-eyed kitten’s fur stood on end, and his claws sank into Dean’s legs (which was probably painful from the way Dean winced), but the kitten otherwise didn’t leave Dean’s lap. It looked like Dean had been petting the kitten, which would have made Cas smile in other circumstances. The other two kittens had been curled up in Dean’s bed, but they scampered out of the room upon Cas’ entry.“Cas!” Dean gasped, quickly trying to wipe the tears from his eyes, and put his mask back in place. But Cas wasn’t going to let him do that. He sat right next to Dean, so close their thighs were touching. Cas wrapped one arm around Dean, placing his hand on Dean’s far shoulder. Dean made a startled sound halfway between a gasp and a gulp, but Cas paid it no heed.“You cannot blame yourself for whatever the Mark makes you think or feel,” Cas insisted, trying to look Dean in the eyes, but the hunter dropped his gaze.“You heard all that,” Dean sounded mortified, which he shouldn’t.“Angel senses far surpass those of humans, or even felines,” Cas replied. “But you have nothing to be ashamed of Dean. All demons like to kill – it is their nature – and you were a demon. The Mark of Cain is a type of mind control, and contrary to your previous statements, I am very familiar with how mind control can turn everything you think and feel upside down. I thought I was doing the right thing when people like Naomi were using me, and even after I snapped out of it, it took time for all of the effects to pass.”“Is that why you ran away with the tablet?” Dean replied, sounding too tired and broken for his usual bitterness over that topic to come through.“Yes,” Cas replied with a pang of regret. “But you can learn from my mistakes, Dean. Acknowledge what the Mark is making you feel, and let us help you deal with it. I will never judge you Dean. Never. I will do everything in my power to help you through this, and I’ll stay with you every step of the way. No matter what.”At the word “stay,” Dean’s eyes finally met Cas’ eyes. Sparks of hope lit up the beautiful, but teary, emerald orbs. Another tear slid down Dean’s face, and Cas wiped it away with a finger from his free hand.“Stay?” Dean whispered, his voice hitching with a strange emotion that Dean was clearly still trying to bottle up.“Yes, Dean – I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to,” Cas replied, hoping that he wouldn’t wear out his welcome too soon.“I always want you to stay,” Dean replied with the small laugh he liked to use to try to disguise his pain. Cas’ eyes widened. Did Dean really mean that? Hope and longing rose up within Cas – more than he usually ever let himself feel.“Then I will stay with you always,” Cas told him, looking deep into Dean’s eyes for reassurance that Dean wanted this as much as he did.The next second, Cas was startled by the sudden press of Dean’s lips on his. Sparks of energy seemed to light up his whole being. Cas had tried kissing before, but this was something completely different than he’d ever experienced. Cas felt waves of shock and pleasure at the realization that this was how Dean really felt about him. How had he never realized it before?But before Cas could hardly react, Dean pulled back with a terrified look on his face. Cas immediately surged forward to wipe any trace of doubt or fear away from Dean. Dean’s lips opened eagerly for him, and Dean responded hungrily for Cas’ touch. Cas tried out every trick he’d ever learned from the pizza man, and was very pleased that each one had Dean moaning for more. Cas was more than happy to oblige. Dean was also clearly an expert at this, because it didn’t take long before he had reduced Cas to a moaning mess. Cas could feel Dean’s smirk on his lips at Cas’ reaction.Cas groaned when Dean pulled away again, but this time let him pull away. He was aware that humans needed to breathe occasionally after all, however regrettable that was. But then he noticed the other reason Dean had pulled back – the blue eyed kitten was standing up on his hind paws to nuzzle at Dean’s neck.“Furry cock-block,” Dean muttered fondly, scratching the cat behind the ears.“I believe Swift was feeling left out,” Cas commented, rubbing the kitten’s back to elicit purring.“Swift?” Dean questioned.“Since you like to choose the names of popular musicians…,” Cas started to explain. But to his surprise, this got a groan and an eye roll from Dean. Cas frowned and tilted his head in confusion. Metatron had given him lots of human pop culture information. He now finally understood Dean’s many references. So why was he still getting things wrong?“Would you rather a different name? Taylor Swift is a popular musician, so I thought…,” Cas asked.“No, no Cas – it’s fine. As long as the cat likes it, right?” Dean replied, and there was a meow of approval from Swift that made them both smile. “But in the future, forget whatever you think you know about popular music. I’m gonna teach you all about the Classics.” Cas smiled at him, and Dean smiled back. Then they both leaned in for another kiss.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Had Cas realized just how much Dean had wanted him to stay, he would have moved into the Bunker long ago. The effect this had on Dean was profound. Dean was no longer immersing himself in self-hatred, but seemed to have rediscovered his will to live and to Always Keep Fighting the Mark. In fact, he seemed… almost cheerful.Dean started cooking and eating with a lot more gusto and enthusiasm, and was very eager for Cas to try everything he made. He started interacting more with everyone again, talking and laughing almost like he used to. There still was an undercurrent of pain and fear of course, but Dean wasn’t focusing on it as much anymore. Instead, he distracted himself by frequently pulling Cas into his bedroom (which Cas was more than happy to comply with), and making dirty jokes at dinner that made Sam roll his eyes and made Cas blush. Sam had taken the news of the new development in their relationship very well. Cas was grateful for how supportive Sam was. He had been worried that perhaps Sam wouldn’t want him permanently moving in with them, but Sam had welcomed him with open arms.Dean even started playing with the cats. He surprised everybody when he bought some foam cat balls and started tossing them for the cats to chase. The kittens picked up on the game of “fetch” very quickly, and Dean seemed proud of their hunting skills. Indeed, Cas also gained new appreciation for the wonders of the feline form as they watched the cats run and leap about. For such tiny creatures, they had surprisingly great power and flexibility. Their reflexes and coordination were impressive too.
One day when Cas was looking for Dean, he saw Zeppelin playing with one of the foam balls. Zeppelin batted the ball right into Dean’s closet, but then just turned and looked at the closet without attempting to go retrieve the ball. Cas decided to help the kitten out, so he stepped into the closet to go get the ball. But when he bent over, he suddenly felt a human hand batting playfully at his head. Cas looked up to see Dean hiding in the shadows of the closet. At the look of surprise on Cas’ face, Dean burst out laughing.“Pounce! Got you, Cas!” Dean smirked, appreciating just how rarely he was able to surprise Cas. Perhaps the kittens had been giving him tips. Cas responded by doing something else he had seen the kittens do – he wrapped an arm around Dean’s head and started nibbling Dean’s ear playfully. Dean squirmed and laughed, apparently quite ticklish there.“I thought you’d finally gotten Dean to come out of the closet,” Sam commented with a smirk as he walked into the room.“Shut up Sam,” Dean replied with a groan. Cas tilted his head.“You were in there a long time?” Cas asked, concerned and wondering why Dean had been hiding out for so long.“Oh, just a few decades,” Sam teased.“I said shut up Sam,” Dean told him again, but he didn’t really seem mad.“You’re making a reference,” Cas realized. There was still much to learn about human culture and mannerisms. Dean responded by kissing him into silence… well, silent except for the moans Cas couldn’t help making when Dean did that thing with his tongue.“Get a room you two,” Sam groaned.“This is my room,” Dean reminded him, then went right back to kissing Cas.“Do you guys seriously not even care that you’ve got a large audience?” Sam replied incredulously. He was right – all three kittens were staring at them intently.“Heh, little perverts,” Dean replied fondly. “But that reminds me – we need to figure out how to do cat-care when we start hunting again.” Cas had known that this day would come sooner or later. Dean was a hunter by nature, and would become miserable if they tried to keep him away from it for too long. But at least Dean seemed to be coping better emotionally now. Whatever happened, they would face it together. So Cas didn’t protest against hunting, but latched onto the other thing Dean was implying.“We get to keep the kittens?” Cas asked hopefully. At this, the kittens all ran over to them and started mewing and rubbing against their legs. Cas watched Dean melt, and smiled.“Yeah, well, you did say that you thought our family was one species short, and Bobby used to be able to make having pets work, and there is no place safer for them than the Bunker, so…,” Dean started rambling sheepishly until Cas kissed him quiet.“Great – I’m glad you finally came around Dean. You’re such a softy for puppy-dog eyes,” Sam said, reminding them that he was still in the room.“They’re kittens, not puppies, so wouldn’t it be kitten-eyes?” Cas asked.“Whatever. Dean is a sucker for big sad eyes,” Sam replied.“You both exploit them way too much,” Dean complained.“I don’t have kitten eyes,” Cas replied, confused.“Are you kidding? You’re just as bad as Sam!” Dean replied with a snort of laughter.Cas blinked and stared blankly at Dean as both Winchesters laughed even more at his confusion. How could he have kitten eyes? A couple of his brothers and sisters had told Cas that he wasn’t very good at utilizing his vessel’s facial expressions. Had all of his years on Earth helped him in this respect as well? Strange, because Cas had never specifically tried to learn this particular aspect of humanity.“Take it as a compliment Cas,” Sam told him. “Besides, it’s your secret weapon to get Dean to do whatever you want.”“No, it’s not,” Dean grumbled.“You would deny me?” Cas asked, this time paying more attention when he instinctually widened his eyes and made a small frown. Sure enough, Dean melted.“Son of a bitch, stop looking at me like that,” Dean replied with a sigh. Dean leaned in to kiss Cas when a few balls of fur zoomed right between them. All three kittens were so happily engaged in running around with each other that they weren’t paying any attention to the humans or the angel in the room.“The long-furred cat needs a name too,” Cas reminded them, giving Dean a glance. “Do you want to continue the theme of popular musicians?”“Heh, you wanna name him something like Hammett, Smalls, Bonham, Thayer, Lemmy….,” Dean joked. Cas frowned while he tried to place the connection between those musicians from the popular culture knowledge he had. Sam, of course, got Dean’s joke instantly.“Come on Dean – lots of guys like having long hair,” Sam retorted with an eye roll.“So maybe some famous rock stars can pull it off,” Dean conceded, “but you still need a haircut.” Sam rolled his eyes again, and made what Dean referred to as a “bitch face.”“Jerk,” Sam replied."Bitch," Dean automatically retorted. The brothers shared a small smile.“So, which of those names do you like?” Cas asked, turning to the kitten in question. However, said kitten had clearly not been paying any attention whatsoever to their conversation. Instead, the yellow-eyed kitten was too preoccupied with tumbling about with his siblings. Cas stared at the kitten until he paused what he was doing and sheepishly started back up at Cas with a slightly guilty expression. Cas was vaguely aware of Sam and Dean gaping at him for some reason, but he ignored them and repeated the name choices to the kitten. The kitten tilted his head in contemplation, then meowed.“He likes ‘Bonham,’” Cas translated. Bonham then scampered off to go join his siblings in more games.“Awesome – Zeppelin, Bonham, and Swift,” Dean mused as he watched the kittens race down the hallway. “So – cat-care ideas?”“Already ahead of you,” Sam replied. “So get this – Charlie thinks that…”“Wait – Charlie? I thought she was still in Oz,” Dean interrupted.“Well, yeah, but I bounced pet-care ideas off of her ages ago, just in case we could ever talk you into it,” Sam replied, ignoring the glare & eye roll that Dean gave him. “Anyway, she helped me program some timers that we can set up to all the essentials like food dispensers and self-cleaning litter boxes. That way the kittens will be fine when we go out on hunting trips, and we’ll have family to come home to.”“Home?” Dean repeated, his voice conveying disbelief with faint traces of hope. Dean had complained many times about how Sam never considered the Bunker a “home.” On the other hand, Dean clearly cared a lot about making this place a real home for his family.“Yeah Dean – home,” Sam replied with a small smile. “I know it has taken me awhile to come around, but I get it now. Home is what the three of us and the cats build together as a family. We’ve made that special place for ourselves here. I guess it took you not being here for me to realize just how much we all belong here together. I used to think that I had to be living the normal apple-pie life to have a home, so I felt like I never could have a home without everything going terribly wrong. But my home is with you and the family we bring together here. So when the Mark starts troubling you again, focus on that. You’ve got a family to come home to, so you’ve got to Always Keep Fighting the Mark.”“I will Sammy,” Dean replied. “I’m going to beat this thing or go down fighting until the end. I know you guys have got my back. So…, uh, I… I never really said, uh… thanks for, you know, pulling me back from the edge, so…,” Dean stuttered awkwardly.“Of course Dean – we would do anything for you,” Cas tried to reassure him. Dean’s face showed gratitude and bewilderment, betraying how Dean still considered himself unworthy of their love and support. Words would never be enough to wipe away Dean’s doubts, but Cas hoped that over time their actions would. Cas pulled Dean into a hug, wrapping his arms around the hunter in what he hoped was a comforting way. Cas wished that he still had his wings so that he could wrap them around Dean too, just like he used to do. Even though Dean couldn’t see or feel Cas’ wings, being wrapped in Cas’ wings had always seemed to have a calming effect on him. The hug still had the desired effect, and Cas felt Dean melt into his arms. Cas started placing a string of kisses along Dean’s neck, which Sam took as his cue to leave the room before they progressed further.
A few days later, Dean found a “lead” on what he insisted was a real “case.” Sam didn’t think that the article about the girls’ high school looked too promising, and Cas was inclined to agree. However, since Dean was so eager & excited to get out of the Bunker and start hunting again, Sam and Cas agreed to humor him. Perhaps a “case” that would likely amount to nothing would be a good way to ease back into hunting.Even before Cas had a chance to explain the situation to the kittens, they figured it out all on their own. They weren’t happy about being left behind either. The kittens were caught trying to stow away in the duffle bags three times. And when the kittens weren’t trying to sneak into their bags, or into the garage, the kittens insisted on laying on top of whatever clothes they were trying to pack. Eventually Cas took the kittens aside to talk things over with them.“I know you don’t want us to leave, but what we do is important – we save lives,” Cas tried to explain. “You’ll be fine while we’re gone. The machines are capable of taking care of all your physical needs for a month – not that we’ll be gone that long. We should only be gone for a few days, alright?”Zeppelin growled a reluctant acceptance. Bonham sighed and looked away. Swift looked up at Cas with those big kitten eyes that begged him not to leave them.Now it was Cas’ turn to sigh. He was an Angel of the Lord. So why could these little kittens make him feel so guilty about leaving? Cas managed to stay firm in his resolve by reminding himself how much Dean needed hunting.Dean’s excitement for the hunt was “catchy,” and Cas found himself getting excited as well. Real “case” or not, it had been a long time since he had last gone on a hunt with the Winchesters. Cas used to “suck” at hunting, but he hoped that his recent experiences in being human would help him to be a better hunter. Besides, Dean was a good teacher.When Cas got into the Impala with the Winchesters, it felt like old times. The tree of them against the world. Together they could pull off miracles.