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Your name is Sabitsuki. You are a fifteen year old girl currently standing next to your bed. You look around your modest room. There aren't many things to look at here. You have your bed, which is plain and white, and to the left of it is your computer. You spend most of your free time on it playing a game. Next to that is your bookshelf. You've read all them all numerous times; they were useless. Finally, your TV is next to the bookshelf. You only have one game, and it's pretty lame, plus you have better things to do. There's a door on the southern end of your room which leads out to the balcony, but there's not much to look at out there. The only other door is at the north end of your room, but you can't go outside.
Your existence is pretty boring right now you think to yourself. It didn't used to be way. You used to be a semi-normal girl who went to school and had friends. A girl who had a life. However, that all changed about six months ago.
Six months ago, on your way home from school, you collapsed in the street. You were rushed to the hospital, and told that you had an incurable disease. You can still see the face of the doctor who told you. You were sitting in a uncomfortable hospital bed when the doctor pushed open the door and blew in. He didn't even say hello, just slowly flipped through his file, of what you guessed was your medical record. He'd nod to himself and push his glasses back on his face. Then, after what seemed like a whole five minutes he looked up, as if just noticing you and muttered something to himself.
“Sabitsuki, correct?” He asked.
You gave a small nod, but he wasn't looking at you.
“After a very thorough analysis of you we have come to the conclusion that your illness is completely beyond the realm of modern medicine. There's nothing we can do for you.” With those two sentences you could feel your life slipping away from your grasp. You had to admit that your life had begun to fall apart before this event, so it was just bad luck that this was the way it ended. You didn't even really feel sad, just resigned. If medical professionals couldn't help you, what good would it be to fight the inevitable?
“Furthermore, we think it best that you stay here in the hospital, if this disease were to spread, well, that would be undesirable.”
The doctor rambled on and on, but they were just empty sounds. You didn't comprehend anything. You didn't really care about anything anymore. For the next few days you just sat in your room, trying not to gag from the horrible sterile smell that seemed to permeate from everywhere. You really weren't sure when you were sleeping and when you were awake. The days seemed to melt into one another, one stark white day into the next. One day, that all changed. When you first saw the petite nurse walk into your room, you didn't think she was capable of much of anything. The way she peeked in the door and seemed almost shocked to see you staring at her; even if you had been staring at the door for the past few hours, and didn't actually notice her at all. Her eyes grew wide and her face flushed pink. She crept in the room shut the door behind her without turning around.
“Pardon me, Miss Sabitsuki. I hope I'm not bothering you.” You just stared at her, you didn't really care either way, but it seemed like too much effort to move your head in any direction.
“My name is Mari, I'm a nurse with the hospital.” That was a no-brainer you thought to yourself, but didn't say a word.“I don't want to alarm you, but there's a slight problem...with the billing for your treatment.” Treatment seemed like a funny word, because all you did was live in this room.“It seems as if you don't have insurance, and your family is refusing to pay for anything.” Ahh, that was it, they wanted money to keep you here, and your 'family' didn't want to foot the bill. That made sense, you didn't really expect them too, not after what had happened before.“Is there any other person we could call, or...” Her voice trailed off.
You shook your head. Your real parents had passed away a long time ago, so your aunt and uncle were taking care of you. At least they used to.
“I-I see...” She looked downward, almost in a sad way. It was funny in a way, even the hospital didn't want you. Not that anyone else did. But what did it matter anyway? You were dead anyway.
“Can I go home then?” The nurse, Mari, looked up, surprised that you had spoken.
“Um, yes, that might be the only course of action, because-”
“Can I leave now? You interrupted, not interested in what bullshit excuse she was about to give.
“There's some paperwork to fill out, but after that, yes.”
“Okay.” You got up from the bed, ready to leave.
Mari looked flustered but then nodded and said she was going to get the papers for you to sign, then left the room. You looked around the room, then went to the window and peered out the window. Below you, people rushed here and there in what was typical in a busy city such as this. What an ugly world this was you thought to yourself. Just then Mari returned, a folder tucked under her arm. She handed them to you, and you wasted no time in open and signing each paper and handed the folder back to her.
“Is that all?” You asked.
“Um....well the hospital is a little bit worried about letting you be around others because your illness, so there will be a quarantine placed on you and your residence....” You nodded, not really caring. As you approached her, Mari all but jumped out of your way, with a little squeak. As your hand touched the door knob, Mari began to speak.
“Miss Sabitsuki.....there is this experimental treatment that I think might be able to help you!”
You turned back toward her and tilted your head, interested for the first time in a long time. Mari was deeply flushed and looked even more flustered than was her normal.
“It may seem a little far-fetched, but will you hear me out?”
You nodded again, not really sure why you suddenly cared about the topic at hand.
“You've heard of visualization, right? That would be where you close your eyes and think of your body in terms of something you know. Um, that's a little bit confusing....It would be like if I told you to think of your body as like a temple! And then think of your immune system as little tiny monks standing guard over the temple. But then this strange illness of your comes up and tries to invade your temple! So the monks fight the monsters and then beat them back and destroy them!”
You stare blankly at Mari as she gets more and more worked up as she adds more depth and detail to this story of hers. She notices and blushes.
“It's kinda like that, except this treatment is a little more intense then that. It's virtual reality software which makes the process more personalized and lets the user explore their own mind...”
This sounds a little crazy to you, and the way that Mari is heavily breathing doesn't really help matters. However, if nothing else, this might be a fun way to spend your last days on this planet. Plus there's this tiny feeling, deep inside you that hopes that you might find a way to save yourself. So you agree to her crazy plan, and she gives you this small black box. Returning to your apartment you install the program on your computer. That's how you got .flow. At first you were doubtful about .flows usefulness, however, as time wore on, you became more and more convinced that it was the key to your survival. Looking over at the floor, which is splattered with blood that you've coughed up, you acutely understand that you don't have much time left. You walk over to your computer and sit down. .flow is already open, and you decide you've wasted enough time lingering over stupid stuff like this. Entering the program, your avatar appears on the screen. She looks exactly like you, a little more 8 bit, you have to admit, and has the same name. She wakes up in her room, which, again looks just like yours, and you click the keyboard arrow buttons to move her to the front door. Opening it leads you to the Nexus, which is supposedly your own mind, a ever-changing room with many neuron type lines leading in four directions. Going in one of those four directions will take you to different places in your mind. However, you have a different goal in mind. In your mind, there are numerous effects, which are key pieces of your psyche, and once gathered, are suppose to allow you to view the deepest part of your mind. It's there that you hope to tell your mind to fight off the unknown illness, and thus cure yourself. You've already gathered a bunch, and you hope to find the remaining ones today. Moving your avatar around the Nexus, you decide to go upward into a screen full of twisted faces. You stopped questioning the strange things that appear in your mind a long time ago. You explore around this world for a while, but you've been here more times than you can count, so you aren't really looking for anything in particular.
However, you are a bit surprised when you see a strange new face on the map. It's a bloody, demonic grinning smile monster. You are a bit tentative about investigating it, but the thought of saving yourself goads you on and you enter the mouth. All of a sudden, a bloody new world appears, and a horrible high pitched laughing sounds in your ears. You've never experienced anything like this, so you are a little bit scared. You move Sabitsuki forward though, and come across three monsters. They are shaped like humans with white hair, and wear what looks like a school uniform, but that's the end of the human likeness. Their faces are bloody and warped, with what looks like popping eyes or gaping mouths.
Suddenly they rush toward Sabi, and you quickly make her run in the other direction. As you reach the entrance, another one pops out and you move Sabi to the left, down a new path. At the end of it, Sabi is transported to what looks like her school, but it looks different now, it's darker and there seems to be blood everywhere. You make Sabi enter the school, and go through the waiting room. On the first floor more of the monsters appear and you quickly move Sabi away from them. There are desks blocking Sabi's path, so you go in the direction that you heard you. The monsters chase you, but now they seem to be armed with weapons. As you come close to a room, one jumps out at you, welding a metal pipe. As you move Sabi out of the way of danger, you are struck with a sense of deja vu. Back before all this started, you were known as a bit of a punk. You could scrap with the best of them, using only your fists. You were pretty much the best fist-fighter on the streets. After your parents died, you moved in with your Aunt and Uncle, and their two kids. You thought you fit in pretty well with them, because your older cousin, was a bit of a rough and tumble himself. This cousin, whom you affectionately called Smile, because he'd always get the creepiest smile on his face when he won a fight, had many tattoos, and the two of you got along perfectly. You'd even been in a few fights together, and won of course. You'd never tell him, but you might have had a little bit of a crush on him to be honest. His little sister also seemed to have one on him as well. Sister, as you called her, would always cling onto Smile and stick her tongue at you, because she knew it bothered you. You'd glare at her, and Smile would laugh at your antics. After a while Sister would let go of Smile and the three of you would play together. Until one day.
One fatefully day, you had been fighting after school, and one of the chumps you were fighting had stolen your backpack, which you wouldn't have cared about, except there was a little charm on the zipper that Smile had given to you, and you couldn't bear to lose it. So you chased the thief back to your school. When you entered the main hallway, you heard people laughing. When you neared the sound, a group of students came around the corner with pipes in their hands. It was pathetic that they knew you'd kick their asses if they didn't have a weapon. It pissed you off, but going against a group of people with pipes would be dumb, so you went to leave, but another gang member came up behind you and blocked your escape. You dashed down the hallway, looking for another exit. However, they had locked all the doors, and put up chairs and desks so you were forced to travel the route that they planned out for you. You ran up to the second floor, then around the hallway, and saw an open classroom door. Running towards it, another gang member came out and smiled at you, her pipe glaring in the twilight of the afternoon. You swiftly turned and continued running down the hallway. Going back down to the first floor you run around and end up on the stairs to the basement. You know that you can hide out here for a while, and you turn around to lock the door. Just at that moment a girl slams into the door, and knocks you off your feet. There's only a moment, but you can see her wide grin just before you fall down the stairs.
As you come to, the first thing you see is a girl's face. She's smiling down at you. Then you realize how much pain you're in. Everything seems to hurt, your head, your chest, your legs. You try to get up, to fight back, but your body refuses to listen to you. Then a foot kicks you in the ribs. You barely have time to react before the next kick comes. You curl into a ball, trying to defend yourself as the whole group begins kicking and stomping you, but it doesn't help much. All you can hear are their cheers and laughter. Then, all of a sudden, they stop. One complains that you aren't crying or moaning or anything. Not that you would give them the satisfaction anyway. Another remarks that they know a way to make you cry. You hear a sizzling sound, then smell the bitter fragrance of a cigarette. The girls laugh again and then they are pulling and tugging at your arms and legs. You try to fight them off, but there are too many of them, and they soon have you stretched out on the ground. The one with the cigarette takes a long drag and then nods at one of the girls, who yanks your top up from your stomach. It's only then when you realize what they plan to do. You struggle, flailing around, trying to get free, but its a fruitless endeavor. One grabs your hair and holds you down. You can't see it when the girl touches the cigarette to your stomach, but you can feel it. The searing heat, the white lighting pain that flashes through the body. The smell of burnt flesh, that smells like a barbeque, and the screams. The screams are the worse, mind tearing, ear splitting roars. The fact that they are yours make it almost unbearable.
After they had their fun, they left you there, bloody and burnt, ragged and in pain. You laid there, crying and sobbing, barely even human. You tried to move, but it hurt so much. You had to get home, your family would be worried about you. Smile would be worried about you....That was the only thought that allowed you to be strong and stand shakily up against the wall and begin the climb up the stairs. You had made it to the main lobby before someone came to look for you. You were leaning up against the wall, limping toward the door when Smile came in. You almost cry with relief, it's so comforting to know that he came for you, yet you are still a little embarrassed that he saw you when you look like such crap. You call his name and start toward him, but instead of coming toward you, he backs away.
“Smile?” You ask, unsure of what to make of his actions. You take a step toward him again, and once again he backs up.
“Smi-”
“Sabitsuki....you've pissed off the wrong people.”
“What do you mean-”
“They hurt her.”
“What? Who did the-”
“Sister. THEY HURT MY SISTER!”
You take a step back, scared at Smile's rage.
“You pissed off the White Ravens. Did you really think they'd stop with just you? They came after me when I was walking Sister home and...” His voice trailed off, but she could hear the sorrow in his voice.
“Is she...?”
“She'll live, but she's in the hospital. Mom and Dad are there. But, we can't let this happen again. The only way to make sure it doesn't is to get rid of you.”
You stand there in shock. He couldn't have just said that. Not Smile, anyone but Smile.
“Mom and Dad have already decided that you have to move out. They know that you don't have any money, so they are going to get you your own apartment and pay the rent and food and stuff. But that's it, you're on your own.”
“Smile, I-I'm sorry about Sister, but I can change, I’ll stop fighting and-”
“How can we- how can I trust you after this?”
“But I'll-”
“It's done Sabitsuki, I just came to tell you, so you know what you've done.”
“But, Smile!” You yell after him, but it's no use, he walks out of the doors and leaves you alone. You collapse onto the floor of the school, your yelling has only made you stomach and head ache even more. But that doesn't matter anymore. You are completely alone now. As Sabi is chased around the school by these monsters, you can feel the tears come to your eyes. You never wanted to relive this moment ever again. As Sabi enters the basement of the school your tears blur your vision for a moment, and you reach up to brush them away. When you look back up at the screen, you see him; Smile. Well, it looks like him, but this character has x's over his eyes and what looks like a pipe in his hand. As Sabi runs toward him, he brings the pipe up and hits her with it. With this you begin to weep, the pain of the event floods your mind and suddenly everything fades to black.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Waking up, you find yourself slumped over your keyboard with a huge headache. Rising up you find yourself overcome with dizziness, so you sit back down and close your eyes. The world is black and painful right now. You are startled by a knock on your door. You didn't think it was time for her to come yet. You get up and stumble to the front door, holding your head.
“What?” You ask, leaving the chain on the door, so you can only just see her face.
“I thought you might be getting hungry....” Came Mari's small voice as she held out a small bundle to you.
You take the package, but still manage to find something to complain about.
“I'm not hungry, my head hurts too much.”
The look of concern on her face is shockingly apparent. “Is it because of your illness?”
“No, I saw something strange in .flow. They looked like people, but...different.”
“Different?”
“Yeah, they had bloody holes where their faces should be.” You calmly reply.
Mari grimaces a little bit, but licks her lips thoughtfully. She brings one of her hands up to her mouth and nibbles on her thumb. You think this is a bit strange, but with the things you've seen today, this is the most normal of any of them.
“There's a number of different things they could be, but if you felt like they were dangerous, then I think you should avoid them as much as possible.” You roll your eyes at her, which was a bad idea, because it sends a shock wave of pain through your head. You groan and Mari reaches a hand toward you through the small gap in the door. You recoil from her as if she was a monster.
“You shouldn't touch me. You might get sick too.” You tell her, a little bit surprised at how much you really meant that.
“Ah...yes you're right Sabitsuki. Well I guess I should be going. Anyway, there's a pork cutlet in there, and a few pieces of carrots in there, I made it myself, so I hope you enjoy it. Have a good night!” Mari gives you a warm smile and then leaves. You shut the door and lock it again. Looking at the package she gave you, you can feel the warmth of the meat inside and it makes your stomach rumble. You secretly are embarrassed about how hungry you really are. You sit on the red carpet in your room and try a nibble of the meal. You are shocked at how yummy it really is, and before you can stop yourself you're shoveling the food. When you get finished you lay back and look at the ceiling. Mari really is a good cook, but you'll never tell her that. You pick up the plate and the chopsticks and put them by your front door. You don't have a sink in here, or a bathroom for that matter, but at certain times you are allowed to go downstairs to the bathroom. You'll take the plate with you and wash it there. Or maybe you should throw it away? Does Mari have a way to kill all your germs so she can use her plate again? Or did she just give you a plate? You shake your head. These thoughts are stupid. Your head is feeling a little bit better after eating the meal, so you decide you should try to explore more of .flow. Entering .flow, you wander around some, but see nothing of any interest. However, you do notice more of those monsters running around. You aren't sure what they are, but you take Mari's advice and avoid them as much as you can. You have to come up with a name for these things, you can't just keep calling them monsters can you? Or can you? You decide that Kaibutsu is actually a very good name for them. Kaibutsu it is then. You find yourself in the middle of the Sewers and give a little yawn. Sometimes .flow is exciting and you can almost feel yourself unlocking all the deep secrets of your mind, but at times like this, all it makes you wanna do is take a nap. You make Sabi run in a circle and give a groan of boredom. You blink and when you refocus your eyes on the screen, you see something that looks new. On the wall of the sewer is a small glowing sun symbol. You give a small 'hmm' to yourself and move Sabi over to it. When she touches it, she is transported to a orange maze-like area. You sit up in your seat and lean closer to the screen; now things are getting interesting.
Navigating the area you quickly learn that the place is saturated with Kaibutsu. You end up just running away from them, not paying attention to where you are going. Then you come up to a small person in an orange diving helmet in what looks to be a tube. You give a small look of confusion and move Sabi toward it. You make her touch it, but nothing happens. You move Sabi all the way around her, no nothing happens. You sigh with annoyance and move Sabi back in the direction she came in. The landscape changes and leads you down a new path. Going the full length of the path you come to two figures, the orange helmet person, and a familiar face, namely yours. The orange person seems to be holding hands with what looks like you, only bloodier. Moving around the room, the orange person turns to face you no matter what direction you are in. You look-alike doesn't seem to move at all. You go to the back on the area and attempt to enter a door, however when you get close to it, the computer screen gets all fuzzy, and you feel nauseous. You try a few more times before you can't take anymore. You are really curious as to what is on the other side of the door, but you leave the area for now. After nothing interesting to report for what seems like hours, you find yourself standing in front of your school again. You are leery of it, but there doesn't seem to be any Kaibutsu around, and it looks moderately normal. That is, except for the grinning bloody smiles on the walls of the hallway. They make you feel uneasy, but you keep going onward. Going into the various classrooms you see many different students, but they don't seem to notice you even when you try to interact with them. Then, in one classroom, there he is, Smile. Your breath catches when you see him and you start to cry again. You find it funny, and yet a little bit silly and childish that the pixelated and warped image of your cousin can make you feel so sad and lonely. Sabi is blocked from approaching Smile directly by a wall of desks, but that's okay. You press a single finger to the screen, wishing that somehow Smile could be here with you. Sister could even come too, you just really miss them right now. You bring your legs up to your chest and wrap your arms tightly around them and cry silently.
Some time passes before you leave the room and continue on into the school. You find a door which leads you to a room with a huge eye on it. You try to move Sabi close to it, but the screen fizzles like it did in the orange maze and you start to feel sick again. This time you don't even try to enter again, you just stare at the screen and wonder why you can't go to certain areas of your own mind. Maybe these places are where your secret deepest memories are held? If that's the case, then after you gain all the effects, then you'll be able to go in them? You make a mental note of these locations so that you can come back later. Walking around some more you find an overly large giant of Smile. This one has more detail than the last one, and you can almost make out his expression. You move Sabi toward him, and you gain an effect. It's only fitting that he'd have a piece of you as well. You smirk to yourself over this and leave before you start feeling sad.
With this new effect, you feel that you almost have all the pieces you need to finish everything. You really can't explain why you feel this way, but you just do. You are starting to feel really sleepy at this point, and as much as you want to win .flow, you know that you are sick and that you should take it easy. So you reluctantly return Sabi to the Nexus and climb into your bed. You never have any dreams anymore, just swirling black darkness. Tonight is no different, you go to sleep, then you wake up almost immediately after. With a quick look at the clock you find that it's your designated time to use the bathroom. You gather your bath things and the dish from Mari and open the door. The hallway is ghostly empty, like always as you walk the few steps to the bathroom. You go into the room and lock the door behind you. You draw yourself a bath and wash Mari's dish while the tub fills. When it does, you turn the water off and start to peel your clothes off. You look at the small circular scars on your stomach in the mirror. You had almost buried the memory of that day, but after yesterday, you could swear that your scars were burning. You rub a hand against your stomach and struggle to remember how close you are to curing yourself. When you are finished with your bath you slink back to your room and sit in front of your computer. Your wet hair drips water onto the keyboard, but you barely notice. You are completely focused on the game now. You run Sabi around .flow looking for more areas that you have yet to see, but to no avail. Hours later you sit back, frustrated with this supreme lack of progress. In a moment of rage you slam your fist down onto the keyboard. You must have hit a wrong button because .flow suddenly closes. You gasp in fear, which quickly turns to panic. You shout words of apologies to your computer as you struggle to turn .flow back on. Luckily, it seems that you just hit the esc button, and you have .flow back up in no time. You give a sigh of relief and almost hug your computer. You give up on exploring in favor of going to your favorite place, a bar. In the bar there are maids with gas masks, and they just make you feel safe. However, it is pretty far from the Nexus, so you ready yourself for a long journey.
As you move Sabi through the apartment buildings, which is the way to the bar, you notice a different design on the wall. You are sure that you didn't see this before. However, nothing happens when Sabi examines it. So you figure you should get a bit more rough with it. Taking out an effect, you arm Sabi with a metal pipe and have her attack the wall. The wall in return seems to be wounded, and a passage way appears in said wound. You have Sabi enter the wound. She ends up in a area that pulses and has a heartbeat. As you move around you see small black haired girls in blue dresses, but they take no notice of you. Soon you come to a clearing full of these girls obstructing your way. You feel bad for what you are about to do, but curiosity gets the better of you, and you do it again. You make Sabi, who still has her pipe beat and kill the girls, making a path to a door on the other end of the room. You feel really bad about this, but its something you feel you have to do.
In the next room there is a cliff full of the black haired girls, and a larger one that seems to be bound against the far wall. You really don't like this place at all. But, you are resolved to do what you have to do. So you make Sabi talk to the nearest girl, careful not to hurt her with the pipe. Then, for no reason the girl explodes into a pool of blood.
You gasp and move away from the screen. This starts a chain reaction and all the girls start to explode as well. You watch in horror as the remaining girls explode and the largest girl twitches ominously. As soon as all the little girls are gone the largest girl's stomach seems to erupt from within. As you watch all this happen, you start reeling, the computer screen fading in and out. You start to feel very sick and you throw up all over your keyboard. You fall to the ground, doubling over in pain as your insides feel like they are attacking you. You try to crawl to the bed, because somewhere in your mind you think you'd be safe there. You don't have the strength to do that and end up feeling sick again. You bring your hands up to your mouth to try and hold it back, but you end up vomiting anyway. You end up on the floor, covered in your own puke. The last thing you see before the world goes black is your hand covered in blood. You wake up to a loud banging sound. You groan and try to raise your head, but a razor sharp streak of pain makes you drop your head again.
“Sabitsuki!?” The voice calls, and you immediately recognize it as being Mari's. Something's really wrong with you, and you don't think that it'll get better without help. Mari can help you, Mari's a good person. You have to get Mari. You moan lightly and try to yell her name but your mouth feels dry and your tongue flops uselessly around. You try again and your throat closes up, refusing to let you even make a sound. You hate feeling so crippled, so helpless. This isn't like you at all. What happened to that girl that who took on huge gangs of people without worrying about the consequences? Where is she now? You take a deep breath and scream at the top of your lungs. There's no way you can give up now, not when you are so close. The sound that comes from you is barely louder then a whisper, and for a moment you just know that Mari won't hear you and you'll die here alone. Then Mari's voice yells your name louder and asks if you are okay. You try to scream again, but it's a bust.
“I'm coming in!” Mari yells, then tries to open the locked door. The knob refuses to turn but she pushes against it anyway. Then when that doesn't work you can hear her trying to break down your door. That thought strikes you as funny, Mari couldn't hurt a fly, let alone break down a door. She doesn't give up though and keeps ramming the door, even taking a few running charges at it. You can't help but smile at her persistence. No one else would go this far for you, in fact, you are sure they'd leave you here for a few days just to make sure that you were really dead. But Mari....Mari was the nicest person you think you'd ever met. You feel glad that you got to meet her.
Then, without any warning, a huge potted plant comes through your door. You are a bit shocked, but mostly relived. Mari comes running in. She pauses and stares wildly at the room, which you suspect is covered in your blood, then focuses on you. She rushes over to you with tears in her eyes and she tries to lift you up. She's almost got you in her arms and out the door, when someone blocks her way.
“What are you doing?!” She yells at the man.
“You aren't bringing her out of this room. We don't want to get sick and die like her.”
“What are you saying?! She needs to go to a hospital!” Mari screams back at him.
People are really self-centered you think to yourself with a smile. You think that your thoughts on your neighbors aren't far off. Mari tries to push past the man, but he pushes her back.
“And you aren't coming out either, not with all that infected blood on you. Here, you might need this.” He says and throws something at Mari's feet. Mari sets you down on the bed and starts to examine you, a worried yet angry look painted on her face. She rattles of various medical terms and mops at your face with a handkerchief. Finding no wounds on you, she sets to trying to clean you up, which was a wasted effort. The only thing that could help you now was a bath. Suddenly, the words of the man ring in your head, and you become aware that Mari could very well become infected from all this blood. You push her away and she stares at you with a confused expression on her face. You weakly point to whatever it is the man tossed her, hoping she understands that you want to protect her. She shakes her head and tries to clean you up more, but you won't let her until she gets the item. She closes her eyes wearily and says okay. She goes and picks up the object and places it on her face, and comes back. It's then that you see that it's a gas mask. You were hoping for something more...protective, but this would be okay for now. You close your eyes and relax knowing that at least for a moment, you were safe. When you wake up, the first thing you notice is that everything smells funny. You blink open your eyes and see the worried face of Mari, still in her gas mask looking down at you. You open your mouth to tell her not to be so worried, but find that you can't. There's a plastic face mask on your mouth and the words won't come out.
“Sabi, you're awake. Good.” She says softly. “Don't try to speak, after your last attack, your throat started to hemorrhage blood....if you irritate it, it might happen again.”
Your voice? You've lost your voice? That thought floated around in your head for a while before you gave a nod for an answer. Losing your voice shouldn't be a big deal, it's not like you used it much to begin with, but now that you can't. You feel a little sad. Also, this just meant that your disease is progressing, and soon you'll....You don't really want to finish that thought.
You sit up and looks around the room. There seem to be three machines in your room now, and you are hooked up to each and everyone of them. Mari keeps staring at you, like she thinks you are going to die any second. If things are this bad, maybe you might. You aren't sure to be honest, but there was one thing that you were positive about, you had to finish .flow, and soon. You didn't have much time left. You aren't sure how you got Mari to leave, but somehow you managed. She promised that she would be back the next morning and would bring you a treat, but that had no allure to you at all. The only thing you wanted was to play .flow. Mari had made you promise that you would stay in bed, but that wasn't going to happen. You hated to lie to her, but this was important. So, after waiting half an hour you rose from your bed, pulled the machines off of yourself and sat down in front of your computer. At this point, it was all or nothing, there was no taking it easy tonight, this was it. Hours later you were shaking, you weren't sure if that was because you had gathered all the effects, or because you were sick. You had already thrown up blood a couple more times, but there was nothing that could stop you now. You sent Sabi back to the Nexus, and then back into her room. Then you had her sit down at her computer. This was it. This is when you combined all your effects, or pieces of your psyche together and gained access to all those areas of your mind that were closed off from you. This is when you make yourself better. You could hardly contain your joy as you moved Sabi to her effects, and selected the drop all selection. This was it. Everything was all in your grasp now. You were so close, you could taste it. That's when everything went wrong. The screen started to fizzle again and turned a dark brown. You could feel yourself getting sick and you started coughing. It hurt so much, a burning in your throat, then huge globs of red appeared in your hands. You started to cry. Not like this. It couldn't end like this. You were so close. Then the red blood came pouring from your mouth again. A gurgle of utter despair came from your mouth as you reached for the rapidly disappearing computer screen. “Please help me! I don't want to die! HELP!” These were your last thoughts as everything faded away.
Somewhere, something, heard these final thoughts and awakened from it's slumber, asking a question of it's own.
“You need me?"