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Queen of Spades, ch. 1 - Levi x OC (Ezra Schwarz)
by galateabellator, Feb 20, 2015, 3:32:34 PM
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance
LANCE CORPORAL - QUEEN OF SPADES – Levi x OC
Side story 1: The Lost Child
I was roaming the streets of the Underground City, hiding the knife in a piece of a white cloth. The air in my lungs felt staled, dry, filled with dust. It was cold even when I was constantly on the move, doing things that I never wanted to do, and meeting with people I never wanted to have any connection with in the first place. My whole body felt very cold, and I hated it. The stench in my nostrils and the damned layers of dirt on every step I took only reminded me how much I hated being part of this filthy Hell. I hated living so deep under the ground, when I knew there was so much more on the surface. I didn’t have many good things to bind me to that ruined, abandoned and long-forgotten City I used to call ‘home’. Bad things majorly overpowered good ones, but those good things and good people around me kept me fighting… kept me going forward in that rotten Hellhole I was living in. She became one of those good things, though I never intended her to be. I was beginning to become somewhat famous in the districts, not because I wanted to, but because I was really good in stealing things, defying authorities, and killing people. Quite the reputation for a young teen, I’d say… I barely turned thirteen, and bunch of older criminals already avoided crossing paths with me. Training with Kenny definitely had its benefits, and all the hard work paid off. Those who dared to be brave and make a move against me learned their lesson the harder way. I didn’t particularly enjoy that, but it had to be done. Anyway… I was walking, drowned in darkness and shadows, pressing a loaf of bread against my chest and being cautious along the way – the bullies of the Underground would kill for less, yet alone for the loaf of fresh bread. I knew I could take them, but didn’t want additional amount of blood on my hands. The food was extremely appreciated in the Underground City for more than one obvious reason. The famine, and the death rate spread proportionally, and advanced faster that anyone would imagine. Shitty times, and shitty environments. I stopped in one of the abandoned alleys of the district. There was a corner where the two buildings met… and many people died in that passage. That’s why everyone avoided it, and why it was perfect for me. I spread the piece of an old rug (that served as my cloak) on the floor, and sat next to the pile of wooden boxes. I unwrapped the bread and tore a piece, putting it in my mouth. I heard a movement and my knife was already unwrapped and prepared in my arm. Ready to tear through skin, and let the crimson liquid flow if necessary. But the movement came from a pile of rugs, placed on the ground. It turned out to have two big, dark brown eyes and a bunch of a long, black, hair. It took me a second to realize it was a girl. A very small, pale, and a very young girl, no bigger than a wooden box I was sitting next to. She removed her rug from her face and revealed herself to me. Slowly. Apathetically. She didn’t say a thing. She didn’t have to.Her lips were dry. She was on the verge of dying, and probably didn’t have water for days. Her face was dirty, and she was wearing a sad excuse for a dress. It was full of holes, and if I was cold, I could only imagine how she must have felt at that time. She was shaking. She seemed tired. She saw the knife in my hand, saw bread in another one. Then, her dark, brown eyes turned to face me, and kept staring at me. Those were some sad, tired eyes, the red around them suggested that she was recently crying, but not anymore. Her look was… blank now. Shallow. Like she was looking at me, but through me. She wasn’t even scared. I lowered the knife.I turned my head away, back to minding my own business. She will probably die, and that wasn’t my concern. Many children in the Underground City were dying on a daily basis, I shouldn’t have been bothered by this kid, or any other. Not my problem. It was troublesome enough to keep myself alive. Not my duty to play a fucking saint when I definitely wasn’t one. But even if I wasn’t looking at the damn girl… I felt her stare. It was annoying as Hell. And it disturbed me. I’ve seen a woman with the same pair of eyes getting killed, right in front of me, so I guess it’s the reason I was so... intrigued with this little bundle of apathy. So, I stared back at her. Hoped I’d intimidate her like I’d done with a bunch of other kids before her. It didn’t work. She was waiting for death, had nothing to lose, and didn’t care what will happen to her next. So, why would I care? Why did I?The Hell if I know. I haven’t known for years. I still can’t explain what drew me towards that brat, but something did. Maybe because she was so lost. Because she was alone. Because she was dying. Because I couldn’t bear to remember that look in her eyes. I just knew… that I would remember it long after she was gone. And I don’t think that I could have lived peacefully with that memory.We were staring at each other for longer than it was necessary.“Oi, brat… stop it.”She finally stopped. She lowered her head, and lied down, back to her rugs, and back to her filth. She covered her head, hid her face once more, and curved into a fetal position.“Tch…” She ruined my meal. I decided to go. I rose from my spot, but something in me… knew that I won’t walk away. I couldn’t walk away, didn’t want to… so I just walked to where she was lying. “This some game to you, or what?” I asked, because I didn’t know what else to say. I am not good with words. So… I removed the rug from her face. Gently, because the brat was shaking, and was hesitant to look at me at that moment. She probably didn’t expect that I would approach her, yet alone try to talk to her.“Hmpf.” I split the bread in half. I couldn’t eat with piece while knowing that someone by my side was hungry. I threw her half to her. She didn’t pick it up. The brat’s eyes finally gave me a reaction – it was an honest surprise. I took her small hand in mine, and put the damned bread into it. Her skin was cold to the touch. Her face was filled with doubt. “Take it before I change my mind,” I threatened. She grabbed the piece instantly. “T… thank you.” It was a whisper. An insecure one as well. “Oh, it speaks. You have a name, brat?” I put my cloak next to her rug-empire, and sat down.It took her a moment to say it. “Ezra.”I frowned. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. You are a boy?”“No, I am not!” she sounded offended. Her voice was somewhat more masculine comparing to voices of other girls, but it was definitely a girl’s voice. “I am not a boy!”“No shit.” I’ve started eating, and Ezra followed my example. “How old are you?” I asked, not because I particularly cared, but because she went silent again. I didn’t expect her to know, but small children are usually taught three things: their name, their age, and the names of their parents. Since the last subject was probably delicate, I didn’t want to ask her about her family. She knew her age, though. She pointed four fingers at me. After we finished our poor meal, she dared to ask me a question. “What’s your name?”“Levi.” Didn't see how the brat could endanger me, so I bluntly responded. “Levi,” she whispered.“Yeah, brat, it’s Levi.” I reached for my belt, and pulled the small bottle from it. I offered the hip flask to her. DAMN, she was staring again.“Take it.” The water wasn’t fresh, but it would sustain the brat for a while. She didn’t know how to remove the top, so I did it for her. Before I could tell her to savor it, she drank it all at once… and gave the flask back. Decent kid, huh?“Tch.”Out of nowhere, the crazy kid wrapped herself around me, and hugged me tightly. Didn’t see it coming, so I was completely shocked. She was one filthy little brat.“Thank you,” she whispered, burring her face into my shirt, damn it... “thank you.” Shit. I was numb at first. Didn’t know how to react, or what to do about her. I wasn’t comfortable with hugging, or comfortable with expressing emotions. However, I put my arms around her small back, because it seemed like a logical response, and after that, I wrapped my arms around the dumb kid. Only then, she finally started to cry, and broke down completely. That was strange. She didn't break under yelling or threats... she broke down at a simple display of kindness. She was shaking, and I pulled her closer to me, because I wanted her to stop. Maybe I tired to shield her. To comfort her. I can't be sure. I just wanted her to stop. Desperately. Ezra hold her sobs, but eventually gave in… and I was pretty upset with her behavior, and confused at the same time.“Stop it, you are annoying.” She tried. But she couldn’t. “Oi, Ezra. Shut. The Fuck. Up.” She buried her head in my neck. Trying so hard to suppress her cries. “Hey…” I touched her hair. Her dirty, filthy hair. “I will kick you and give you a reason to cry, you spoiled brat. Stop whining.” That was not a very good idea. She rose her head. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she was trying so hard to stop them from falling. I caressed her cheek. And again, kindness, if that was a kindness at all, brought her to start sobbing again. She couldn’t stop, so I let her cry. I let her cry it all out, to her heart’s content. * * * * *She fell asleep from crying too much, and I placed her down, covering her with my cloak. I wanted to leave, and never look back, but… it didn’t feel right to leave her all alone. Not after getting to know the brat. Everything in me protested, rebelling that she isn’t my burden to carry, that I should leave her and go my merry way, but I couldn’t. So, I took the responsibility to find her a home. Any home would do, I thought, but then… I found myself finding reasons not to give her up. She wasn’t a demanding child, nor did she occupy a lot of space. She was a gloomy girl and she cried a lot, but all the brats do, as I figured. Ultimately, I brought her to my own home, telling myself that I will eventually give her away, after I find a vagualy decent home and people who will take a good care of her. But I had to be sure, which was very difficult when you live in a place such as the Underground District. Nothing good ever happened to the abandoned children, especially if they were girls. Girls were in bigger danger than boys, simply because of their gender and ability to procreate. I couldn’t stand if something bad happened to this damn, whining brat, with a strange name, and even stranger, striking and expressive eyes. Something about her made me think that she will be great one day, that she is important somehow. And that I had to protect her, no matter the cost. I know, it was a pretty foolish sentiment. The Hell if I even knew why I felt that way… I simply did. And out of it, I took Ezra under my care. And, although there were some serious temptations that could bring me to question that decision, I've never regretted that choice... not even once.
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Queen of Spades, ch. 2 - Levi x OC (Ezra Schwarz)by galateabellator, Apr 29, 2015, 6:22:24 PMLiterature / Fan Fiction / Romance
QUEEN OF SPADES – Levi x OC
Side story 2: Home
If I were to describe my home in the simplest possible way, I’d say it was… small, but tidy. To keep the long story short, I sort of occupied a room in an abandoned building, and others didn’t try to take it away from me. I didn’t have many neighbors, since it was western part of the Underground district and the disease outbreaks were frequent. I’ve decided to take the risk and live there, but luckily for me, I’ve never got seriously ill. The room wasn’t spacious, but thankfully, it had a separate bathroom. I kept them both clean and it was a decent place to live in, even if it was suited in the darkness and far from the crowd that lived in the middle of the city, where the most people usually gathered. The only neighbors I had were some rats that I chased out on the very first day, and a few lesser thugs that got in my way after I've already settled in. They kept their distance ever since I’ve demonstrated that the lack of height doesn’t necessarily mean the lack of strength too. Ezra was finally calm, but got sleepy on our way home. I would be calm and sleepy if someone was carrying me around and protecting me from potential danger that lurked behind every corner. Tch. (Well, it was my choice to bring her along, so I knew I shouldn’t complain). For a brat, she wasn’t very heavy, so it wasn’t a big deal. She was under-weighted, actually. Many kids in these districts were. It was an old news. I've briefly stopped walking to check on her. “Oi. Don’t sleep. We are almost there.”“Okay,” she mumbled. I had no idea it was that easy to tame kids. They turned from beasties into obedient little brats once you fed them and gave them an ounce of water. Speaking of water… the first thing I asked from her when I took her in, was to take a bath. It was a must. “A… a bath?” she sounded horrified; her eyes were widened from shock. She reminded me of some stray cats I’ve seen around. Those creatures avoided water by all costs too. “Yes,” I glared at her. “You also have to comb that wild, bushy thing you call hair.” It wasn't that bad but hey. A little nagging won't shatter her to pieces. (Or, at least I hoped so. Like I said, I didn't know how to treat brats). But damn. I was already dirty from carrying her around and I had to change quickly. I’ve pulled out a clean shirt and unbuttoned my dirty one. Tch. Filthy.“B-but… why?” something seemed highly unpleasant about taking a bath to her. “Are you seriously fucking asking me that?” I barked back at Ezra, and reminded myself that she was four years old. I needed to have more patience with her. I needed to practice it or something. Then, I figured…“Wait. Have you done this before?” Don’t tell me I have to wash this damn kid too. Just don’t.“I know… I know how… but I don’t want to take a bath!” she shouted in an angry embarrassment. She was a loud one, damn screamer. “Yes, you do, because you stink, and you are dirty as Hell. I can barely tell how you look like underneath all those layers of filth. I won’t have you contaminate my perfectly clean place, so if you want to stay with me, brat… you will have to look like human. Like a decent, fucking clean- human- being. That means you have to wash all that dirt. All of it. Am I clear?” “Will the water be cold?” she hesitantly asked. I rolled my eyes. So, that’s what was worrying her? I’ve put the clean shirt over my shoulders, and started buttoning it up. “Better cold than dirty. Get in the damn bathtub,” I ordered. Ezra glared at me, and I was fine with it.The thing was old, made from zinc, and a bit uncomfortable, but it did job like any other bathtub. I’ve recently got a new soap, and I had two towels, so she had everything she needed. Well. Almost everything. I took a matching, zinc pitcher, and started filling the bath with water. It took some time. I’ve checked the water-temperature along using my hand. It wasn’t all that cold either, one could argue it was even moderately warm. (If you use your imagination a bit, that is).“What will I wear?” she asked, stepping next to the tub. She was defiantly looking at me, and frowned. She was waiting for me to find a contra-argument. I sighed. I never prayed, I didn’t believe in the divine force or the three great goddesses, or Walls or any of that crap. However, this time I made an exception, and prayed for that patience I’ve mentioned before. But that question of hers… it actually made sense. After she removes her damn, rotting, stinking rugs, what will she wear? On top of everything else, I have to find some clothes for Ezra too… like the fact that she will stay with me wasn’t already a sufficient pain in the ass in the first place.I had to improvise something. I pulled out another shirt of mine, and found an old, outworn leather belt, made from thin, leather straps which were frayed. Better that then nothing.“This will have to do until I find you something else. Come on. Get in.” I tapped the edge of the bathtub.“You are a boy,” she complained. Oh, I am a boy. “Obviously,” I said. “So?” “You’ll look,” she muttered, and her face got so red I could boil an egg on it or something. “Look at what, brat? Don’t make me smack you,” I could actually feel the vein pulsing on my forehead. I was pissed off. I lifted her up and put her in the tub, losing all my remaining patience. Then, I threw a sponge at her. “Scrub the filth. All of it. If you don’t do it properly, I will wash you myself,” I threatened. She was completely terrified.“NO!” “Yes, you little beast. Now, remove the damn rugs.” I turned my back at her, and crossed my arms, leaning onto the edge of the tub. I’ve heard movements as Ezra was taking off her dress and a small splash when she got in the water and sat down in the tub.“It’s cold!” she protested. Shitty girl. “Bear with it, you will get used to it,” I tapped my fingers against my forearm. “Will you get out now?” she asked, impatiently. That young, and she was already giving me the attitude.“That won’t happen, because you might drown, stupid brat.” Though, on the other hand, that could solve all my problems.“I won’t!” she yelled. She started rubbing and washing her hair and her body. I remained by her side until she was done. It was boring and I certainly didn’t want to be in the bathroom while she takes bath, but I wasn’t sure whether I should just leave a child that young to bath alone. I would occasionally turn my head towards her just to check whether she was still alive, and like I promised, I wasn’t looking at her. There was nothing to look at anyway, since she was a damn kid. That aside, only her head was visible from the bathtub anyway. “Levi?” she called.“Yes, brat?” “It isn’t all that cold anymore.”“Tch.” Like I care, just get clean already. She was playing in the tub now. I could tell by the splashing of water against the tub’s edges. When she was done, she stopped making those small waves, and remained still. “Can I have towels now?” she asked. I handed them to her, with my back still turned. I waited for a few seconds before asking: “Are you done yet?”“Yes,” she had wrapped the first towel around her body and the second one around her head, and was ready to get out. She stretched those small arms towards me. I rolled my sleeves up and pulled her out of the bathtub.“There. That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” I asked. “N… no,” she murmured. I handed her the shirt, and the belt. I also found her some old trousers of mine that I used to wear when I was younger, but didn’t use them anymore. They were a bit long to her, so I used my knife to shorten the edges and make the size more fitting to her figure. In that time, she dried her hair, and put on the shirt. She wrapped the belt around her waist, two times before tying it in a knot, and waited for last part of her outfit. After I handed the trousers to her, she quickly put them on.I took my knife, sat on the improvised bed, and started sharpening it. I let Ezra have fun with unraveling the mess that her hair was. She was combing it pretty aggressively, I thought she might tear her strands off.“What do you think you are doing?” I’ve put the knife down.“Combing?”“Come over here, stupid brat.” I tapped the sheets twice. “I am not stupid!” “No shit.”She sat by my side, and handed me the comb. Little smart-ass. Her hair was long, below shoulders long, and soft to the touch. It shone beautifully now, and looked how human hair was supposed to look. Ezra turned her face to me and stared at me. I stopped to look at her too. She was actually a pretty little girl when she wasn’t covered in world’s dust and dirt. She was… kind of sweet. Why would anyone abandon this brat and leave her to die in an alley? What kind of parents did she have? Why did they leave her to rot, to wither away and slowly disappear? Ezra seemed a bit worried when she addressed me. “Levi, are you sad?” she suddenly asked. “Why would I be sad?” I asked back. Her question surprised me. “Because you are alone?” she offered the possibility. I took a moment to respond.“Tch. No.” I continued combing the kid. She seemed depressed all over again and I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better. It wasn’t me she was truly worried about. She was talking about herself. Therefore, I’ve added: “I am not sad, and I am not alone. I have you to keep ruining my life now, don’t I?” I’ve put my hand on the top of her head and gently stroked her hair. “I was sad when mother left me. I hate being alone,” she whispered, and I could feel the pain that she tried to hide with her lowered tone. “Ezra… you aren’t alone,” I was uncomfortable with saying it… but it was the truth. She wasn’t. “Not now. But you will leave me too,” she said, and her eyes were starting to get filled with tears again. “Only if you keep crying and annoy the Hell out of me.” I lied down and covered myself with a blanket. She wiped away her tears with her sleeve.“I won’t cry.” “It’s a deal then,” I said. “Now, you are a girl and I am a boy, and all that crap, but I don’t have spare blankets and sheets to make you another bed or something that looks like bed, so I can’t help it. You are going to sleep by my side. It’s going to be cold tonight, so if you don’t want to freeze that stupid ass of yours, you better come over here.” You damn kid. She actually rushed by my side, and got under the blanket. We turned our backs at each other and I tried to sleep. She was still trembling, and her body was cold at first, but slowly warmed up.“Levi?” “Shut the Hell up and sleep already, damn it!” I barked angrily. “Do we have any food?” “...” “...” “It’s we, already, huh? No, we don’t,” I rolled my eyes. “Now, go to sleep or I will smack you for real.” We turned to face each other, and she curled a bit against me. Little beast. She was cold, after all. I waited until she made herself comfortable and stroked her hair a bit again. It actually made her sleepy again, like I thought it would. “Good night, Levi,” she whispered. “Yeah. Right back to you, brat.”
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QUEEN OF SPADES - Fate (pt. 3)by galateabellator, Dec 10, 2015, 9:03:51 AMLiterature / Fan Fiction / RomanceWarning: Levi goes into a brothel. Things happen in brothels! (JK, no mature filter required this time, it's safe to read. I promise ;) )QUEEN OF SPADES - Levi x OC Side story 3: Fate“You are going out?” she asked. She was always the curious one. “Yes, I am going out,” I’ve responded, because she would just keep pestering me if I hadn’t. “Can I go with you?” Tch. Nothing new there either. She really wanted to tag along, I could tell by her tone. But I couldn’t drag her around. Especially not this time, because that would upset her. “No, I need to go alone. That place is very dangerous for young girls, so you will stay here, and behave. Get it?” “Yes, Levi.” She sounded disappointed, but she didn’t argue. Good girl.“Make the bed. Clean the floor. Make sure to lock the door after I leave, and unlock it only when you hear my voice. There’s some bread from yesterday, you can eat it when you get hungry. I will bring you more after I come back. But until then, just be good and don’t make any noise. If you do, I will kick you out. Are we clear?” “Yes, Levi.” She was staring at the floor. She did that either when she was shy about something, or when she was lying about something. I could tell which one it was on this occasion, but I had no time to lose. I've put on my boots, inserted my knife in leather holster on my belt.“I will be back soon.”She nodded twice. I have patted her head shortly, and I’ve closed the door behind me. She locked them up, just like we agreed. After that, I was standing in front of my own door for about fifteen minutes - a new stupid habit I've acquired during the time she was with me - before I’ve heard her moving through the room. It sounded like she was swapping the floor and doing whatever chores there were to do. It didn’t surprise me the slightest when she started to sing. Per usual. That damn kid.I’ve just rolled my eyes and finally hit the stairs. There was no point in telling her to stop, and that aside, it was better for her to sing, then to cry. If I had to choose between those two options, I preferred her to sing rather than sniffling around, getting all messy and turning into a fountain... or something. She didn't cry often since I allowed her to stay with me, but when she did, it was a real Hell. Her singing was durable in comparison. And to be fair, she had a decent voice, though it was pretty loud. Stupid brat. I was going to miss her. Really miss her after she was gone. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I've strolled down the alleys, and half an hour later, I've reached my destination.One of the most frequently visited brothels in the Underground City was called “The Black Cat”, and despite that awful name, it brought good fortune to its owner. It was governed by this old Madame, named Tanja, who smoked a lot of tobacco and rarely talked, unlike her pretty, chatty working girls. Madame Tanja managed the whole place on her own, so she had very large income, mostly due to her good connections and the biggest clientele in the Underground and above it. She has also sold and exchanged information along with her girls, and that counted a lot, especially in some of the upper circles. I was patiently waiting for my turn in the hallway, trying not to sit anywhere suspicious or lean onto anything that had visible stains. Waiting was pain in the ass itself, but what annoyed the Hell out of me was the fact that the place in general was damn filthy. So disgusting. But it is what it is. “Need a wom’n to grow up, boy?” the tall brunette with a radiant smile approached me. I gave her one quick look before responding. “No.”The other voice came from behind. It was soft. “Careful, Margot. The looks are usually deceiving. This one isn’t really a boy – his eyes are old.” Slender, short-haired girl fixed her messy hair and tied up her corset. She was wiping away her sweaty face, and was looking at both of us. “Eyes? Old? I see a brat, Stella. Just a brat, who’s wantin’ to lay down and ‘ave some. You want some, boy?” the girl named Margot smiled wider, and started unbuttoning her shirt. I looked away.“Don’t bother. I am here for the pale one. The blonde,” I clarified. There was only one girl in the whole brothel that had that kind of hair. So pale, that it was almost white. Almost. Margot and Stella exchanged amused looks, but they seemed a bit shocked. “Oh, ‘ER? You sure? That lass is quite expensive, can you even afford ‘er? Lemme tell you, she’s not into brats either. She only serves the top brass, that lucky sow! Know what? Forget ‘bout her. I will give you a discount or something,” the brunette winked.“Margot!” Stella rebelled in disapproval. “What’s with you and underage boys?!” “They are a lot better than old, fat, ugly wretched perverts that usually pick me. Also, I quite like to be someone’s first. Get it now, ei?” “It’s plain sick if you ask me,” Stella rolled her eyes, “but who am I to judge? Each to its own, as they say.”Somehow, I was getting more and more uncomfortable. I hated being embarrassed, but girls would do that from time to time, especially in brothels. Brothel-girls liked to tease. I just kept looking away and remained silent. Margot just smiled wider. “Relax. I’m kiddin’. Wouldn’t do it with a boy anyway, I just wanted to see how you’d react. It’s hilarious!”This got me pissed off. Just like that. “Tch. Enough with that, freak. I need to speak to her, the sooner the better. When will she be available?”“Hah… who knows? The man isn’t done yet,” Stella responded instead, rolling her eyes. Margot caught her dissatisfied tone, and laughed again.“My, my. Are we jealous, lassie?” she mocked, and Stella gave her one angry glare. “After all, he is quite somethin’ too, isn’t he? Speakin’ of a special man for a special girl.” “Shut the fuck up.” The door has finally opened, and we have all turned towards the figure that appeared. He was muscular, in his mid-thirties, and was built like a soldier. He had strong arms, strong legs, strong neck… and everything about him practically yelled that he was dangerous. There was this rough… rawness about him that followed him like a bad odor or something. I’ve crossed paths with him on several occasions, the last one being when he appeared in front of Kenny and tried to kill him. He ended up sliced, badly, and with a bullet in his chest. The scars were still visible on his upper torso.“The Hell are you doing here, brat?” he barked, in a voice that was somewhat fucked up from all those cigarettes he’s started to smoke recently. “My own business, Vladimir. You should mind your own.” “Regulus,” he insisted, “and I do mind my own business. I have minded it right there,” he pointed to door with his thumb before he clipped his belt and pulled his half-opened zipper up. “Regulus, huh?” I repeated, “yeah, right. Good for you. Now, if you are done, don’t stand on my way.” “Wouldn’t dream of it, brat.” He didn’t bother to put his shirt on. He offered his hand to Stella, who seemed confused at first, then embarrassed, and then she took his arm with a shade of genuine satisfaction, uncharacteristic for most working girls. That filthy animal really knew how to make women happy, I will give him that.“Come in, Levi. Don’t just stand there.” The humming voice belonged to the most expensive girl in that brothel, and it was always melodic. “Galatea,” I greeted her, and closed the door behind us.She was sitting on her bed, in white nightgown, and she was combing her long, wavy hair. It looked like pale, blonde silk in her arms, and its length reached far beyond her thin waist. Her skin was also pale, which gave her this fragile and ghostly look. Her eyes were both blue and grey. She was so beautiful, that it felt like she was from some other world. Who believed in other worlds, that is.“You don’t have to use my alias to address me. We are better than that. Besides, this isn’t going to be that kind of visit, is it?” she smiled. I couldn’t.“No. I am here for your other gifts, Vesna.”“I know,” she said. “I know. You are here because of the girl.”I have never believed in prophesies. Or in fate. Or in any kind of stuff like that. But whenever Vesna predicted something, it was accurate and without failure. She had this… ability to get glimpses, pictures, or impressions about people, sometimes from future, sometimes from past. Vesna has also dealt with cards, read from them, and also practiced some weird kind of science that allowed her to tell person’s destiny through stars. She would draw this circle, use some method similar to mathematics, divide that circle into smaller sections of twelve, and place the stars in those areas. Then, she would foresee things in her own way. I never figured how, because I have never bothered to learn. I wasn’t interested in something in which I didn’t really believe, but Vesna was very good at those kinds of things. Naturally, all of her abilities marked her while she was in the upper world, so she was feared and deemed a threat; hence the monarchy decided that she should be banished in the Underground, to never see the full light of day from the surface again. And she never did. She ended up sold in a brothel, but her fate wasn’t all that bad. In her own words. Because, unknown to other girls, she had a deal with Madame Tanja. Vladimir was the only man that she had ever slept with, and it was by sheer luck. He took a liking to her, and decided to permanently purchase her. It was a deal – he was paying for her handsomely, and she used her other talents to make money on the side, but she has never slept with other men. Vladimir… now self-proclaimed “Regulus”, made sure that no one ever lays as much as one finger onto her. It had something to do with him being one of the best killers in the Underground, so no one dared to mess with his girl. And she was grateful for that. She usually made her money by foretelling to the rich, noble and those who were able to afford it, and providing and selling information for Madame Tanja. Though it didn’t seem like it… it was actually really profitable. “You are here for the girl,” Vesna continued, “a small girl you don’t know how to protect. It’s too much of a burden for you.” I nodded. I know I’ve promised Ezra that she could stay, and thought that I would somehow manage to take care of her… but it really was too much for me. And I had to do something about it.“Yet, you can’t really leave her. You’ve tried, once you’ve met her, but you can’t turn your head away and let her die. Which is admirable.” My head was starting to hurt. I didn’t get enough sleep last night. “Not really. She is weak. I can’t take care of her, and I am here because I need you to tell me what to do with her, Vesna.” The pale girl blinked twice. Her long lashes covered her blue and grey eyes, and revealed them again. “How old is she?” “Says she’s four.” “And when was she born?” “The Hell if I know.” “Let me see. The date… the date…” She has pulled out a deck of cards from the pocket on her dress, shuffled it thrice, put it together again, and spread the cards over the table next to her bed. “Huh? Interesting.” She has showed me to approach her. I have.“Two and four of spades. It means, twenty fourth, as in date. The spades… mean that she was born either in September or October. I mean, not always, but in my experience… it’s usually that. Or… I will just…” She has reshuffled the deck, and pulled one card out. “Hah. I knew it.” It was Nine of Spades. “September the twenty fourth. She’s a Libra. And with you being Capricorn, it will surely be intense. A lot of challenged energy between the two of you…” “Vesna, whatever the Hell you are talking about, let me stop you right there. I don’t care. Just answer. What am I to do with her?” “What do you really want to do with her?” she asked me back.“If I knew, I wouldn’t be here, would I?” I’ve pointed out. “Should I leave her in some kind of orphanage? Should I give her up for an adoption? Or should I even sell her off to some brothel, maybe this one, and hope that she will be as lucky as you are? What am I to do?”“All of those might happen. But, the very thought of you giving up on her makes you feel bad. And you are furious about it. You don’t want to take care of her, yet you can’t let go of her, because she is already under your skin.” “She isn’t. I have barely spent two months with her, and that’s...”“That’s a lot of time for someone to grow on someone,” Vesna smiled.“Just tell me what’s the best thing for her. If I leave her…” “You will never leave her. Not really, even when you are separated. Besides, you aren’t truly here to ask me whether to give up on her or not - you know you won’t do it anyway. You are here for an explanation. Any kind of explanation, because you are confused. Your bond with her is already deep, but it scares you. Isn’t it?”“Tch… what the fuck are you talking about?” “Honestly. Is she like a sister to you?” “No.” “Is she a friend?” “She is just someone who needs protection, that’s all.” “All?” Vesna smiled, and shuffled the deck again. “She is much, much more.” She has shown me the next card she has pulled out, without even looking at it. “The Queen of Spades. Big deal,” I rolled my eyes. Though, out of some reason, Ezra liked that card. I think that she has identified her mother to it in a way. Long, black hair, and sharper facial features and all. Or maybe it was impressive to her for some other reasons that I wasn’t able to pinpoint. “The girl is presented through that card. It means that she will have connections to royalty, or have some kind of authority, or be important in society. Either way, she has a striking personality, and will have striking appearance too. She will draw masses towards her. However… she will also be rejected, and will have a bad fortune through life.” “Wait. Bad? How bad?” I have asked. I was suddenly feeling…“Are you worried?” Vesna raised her eyebrow and smiled softly again. “Just answer the damn question,” I’ve demanded. “That’s up to fate to decide, and up to her own choices in life.” “It doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just a bunch of stupid cards anyway. And what’s with that deck? Are the spades your thing or what?” “No, it’s because we are talking about your girl that the spades are showing. She is a sharp one, and has a strong sense of justice. She possesses the great strength, and although you are calling her weak, you know her strength too or you would have given up on her in the start. Here. Draw the card, and see what you will get. Imagine the girl and pull the card out. Simple as that. Come on.” “I won’t. It’s bullshit.” “Just do it, Levi.” And so I did. Maybe out of curiosity. Maybe out of spite. I’ve held it in my hand long before looking into it.“That bond… you and her… it goes deeper than you are even aware.” Vesna seemed serious now. “You are frustrated whenever people around you classify her as your family, because she isn’t your family, and she will never be in that essential sense of the word. You aren’t her brother, and you don’t like that idea of being one either, whether it’s just an adopted one, or even a real one. But that’s okay. Trust me on that. She doesn’t really see you as brother either.” “She is… just a girl… that I have found and sheltered. That’s all. Don’t look into it so much, Vesna.” “I don’t have to. It’s quite obvious to me.” “I just want… to send her somewhere where she will be safe, and taken care of.”“She already has that place. You have already given it to her. Right now, you are just confused because you have never felt something so powerful, yet inexplicable at once, so… it’s normal that you are afraid. But don’t worry. You will do a great job on your own, and she will grow. Grow into this… beautiful, fierce person that you will be so very proud of. It will all happen because of you, and your care, and your nurturing. There’s nothing to worry about. You are enough, and more than enough for her.” “So… you are saying that I should just… keep on raising her?” “No. You can’t raise her, because she isn’t your child. However, you can protect her, and lead her through life. It will be enough. Trust me.” “Vesna…” “Don’t. Just look. Look at the card.” I have turned the one I was holding the entire time. The Hell.“It will be alright,” Vesna insisted, and I have kept staring at small piece of paper in my hand.“I shall see you soon again, Levi. I have other customers to attend to.”“Tch… if your services are as lame as this one has been, I am surprised that you still have any customers left at all.” “Well, they aren’t usually as skeptic or as distrusting as you are. But don’t worry, you will feel better as soon as you get home. You will remember this was all just a bunch of crap in which you don’t believe anyway, so whatever. But you will come again. You will want to know. And I will tell you in advance… that it’s okay. The guilt that you may or may not feel in the future regarding her… it will be okay.”She left me completely confused after saying that, but she refused to say more… so I left, and I really felt better after leaving the damn place. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -“Open the door, brat.” As she has unlocked the catch, she has run towards me and hugged me tightly. I will never be comfortable with this crazy girl wrapping those small arms around me, but I’ve gotten myself into this mess, so I will have to endure it. Yet again. A card fell out of my pocket and landed on spotless floor. I was staring at the Ace of Hearts I have pulled out, and wondered whether Vesna knew what she was talking about… at all. Since Ezra has finished with cleaning the house, I thought that she at least deserved a small pat on the head. I’ve stroked her hair again. I gave her a fresh loaf of bread, like I promised, and a small apple, for she loved fruit… and she smiled widely. Maybe this won’t be as much of a burden as I’ve thought it would be. Maybe I should give it another try, and despite how hard it is... endure.
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PART 4 - ALL APOLOGIES Warning: A lot of cursing and slightly graphic themes. Follows chapter 5 of my "Lance Corporal" fanfiction.QUEEN OF SPADES - Levi x OCThe first real problem we had happened when she felt that she should somehow provide for us. Being a child, there wasn’t really much that she could do – so she went for the easiest solution. She has started to steal. It wasn’t a big deal – what she was stealing was mostly some useless crap - trinkets from those far richer than us.I had no idea where she has gotten the idea, but she has started pick-pocketing, and I didn’t even notice. Not until I came home one night a found a bundle of fruit and bread on the table, and her on the chair, proudly grinning like an idiot that she used to be. “Ezra.”She just grinned wider. “What is this?” “What do you mean? It’s food!” little rebel widened her eyes. “I know that, dumbass. Where did you get it?” I asked, approaching her with a strict and threatening look. I hoped to scare her.“I bought it,” she was somehow offended, and was starting with showing that attitude of hers. “You went out without permission? Again?” I was starting to get really pissed off. I told her a million times that it was dangerous for her to roam the streets on her own, but she didn’t listen. And it was driving me crazy. “I can’t just always stay at home all the time.” “You fucking can, and you fucking will if you mean to stay with me. We have agreed that you will obey.”I have pulled her ear. “OUCH!”“Did you steal this?” “LEVI! STOP IT! IT HURTS!” Her eyes were filling with tears, so I have stopped.“Spit it out, damn brat. Have you stolen this food?” “I bought it!!” “With what money?” I demanded to know.She was trying not to cry, but the sobs took over. I rolled my eyes. “Where did you get the money, Ezra?” She kept sobbing for a few moments, and I let her. “I got it… because I’ve traded some jewelry that I took.” It was like I saw her for the first time. After almost two years of living together. The girl that I thought that I knew… was growing into something that was slowly starting to get out of my control.“When?” More sobs. More shaking. I’ve crossed my arms and lost my patience. “I asked WHEN, Ezra?”“Few days ago. At the inn. There was a rich woman, with a small leather purse. She had some jewelry. I took it when she wasn’t looking.”I was shocked. We did live in the Underground district and all… but Ezra never, not once since she came to live at my place, tried to do something like that. Ever. “A bag of jewels?” I punched the table and she backed away, terrified. “Why the fuck did you take something without asking me?!”It could have gone wrong. Terribly wrong. Someone could have seen her. Rat her out. She could have been severely punished, or maybe even mutilated for taking something valuable from those pricks who had too much. “I just… wanted to surprise you. To bring us food on my own! Why is that wrong?” She gave me the look. She stopped crying and was getting angry. She clenched her fists and mimicked what she’s just seen – she has hit the table and faced me in defiance. “Because it was dangerous. Because you didn’t ask me. You just went on your own. How badly do you want me to kick you out?”She didn’t respond. She looked at the food that she’s set. I saw it in her eyes even before she acted on impulse… the decision. She has turned the table and all the food fell down on the floor. As young as I used to be back then, I acted on impulse too. I slapped her across the face. It was stronger than I intended for it to be – and I regretted it at the very same moment I did it. We were staring at each other. Both shocked. Both furious. And both filled with regret because of our actions. She was the one to move first. She has run towards the door.“EZRA!” She slammed them hard. “Fuck.”I rushed after the damn brat, cursing her along the way. The lady with a bag of jewels, huh? I knew exactly who she was talking about. It could not just be coincidence. Ezra has accidentally, and unknowingly robbed one of the most influential Underground traders. Lady Dietrich was buying and selling people - mostly to brothels but also to noblemen from afar – there in the famous Capital of Mitras.Rumors were… that she was outcast from the Capital for defying the King, and she was trying to buy her freedom back by doing the human trade for both sides. She was operating well, until now. She was the one who sold Vesna to Madame Tanja, and she was the one who ratted Regulus out – and for that, he spent several years in prison. She wasn’t the one to be trifled with, and Ezra just took a huge amount of money from her, and traded it for nothing. What was in that bag was worth much, much more… but the dumb girl didn’t even know how to make a decent trade. It took me some time to catch up to my little delinquent. By the time I did, some suspicious assholes have already found her. She was yelling, was kicking them, and biting them, and defied them any way that she could - but there were three of them, and they were all old. Around twenty years old each. By the time they’ve noticed me, the one who was holding her was already dead. His blood was split all over my face, and was spreading down my sleeves.“Fuck! FUCK!” the second one pulled his own knife out. “The FUCK did you do that?!” Ezra was shaking on the floor. She was shocked by all the blood, and by seeing me slitting someone’s throat. Her mouth was wide opened, and she was about to scream. We didn’t have time for her to have a hysterical outburst.“Run. Now,” I said, and for once, she didn’t hesitate or defy me.The two remaining men weren’t just any random douche-bags that ganged onto a girl in desire to bring her to lady Dietrich – they were trained killers.The element of surprise could only work once with them. “The girl needs to go. She has stolen from lady Mary and you took her from us. For that, you shall pay.” “The girl won’t be harmed,” I said. “Anyone who tries to hurt her will end up like your pall.” I have turned my knife towards the closer one. They started circling around me, closing in. The first punch landed on my back. The second one followed into my ribs. I’ve barely dodged one knife, and got sliced by the other. My shirt was torn. The blood followed. I gasped for air, and focused. They were bigger. Certainly stronger. They didn’t lack skill – but I didn’t either. They were both dead in about fifteen minutes, but that was also a plenty of time for them to badly rough me up. My ribs hurt. My head too. I had several swellings and bruises over my whole body, my nose was bleeding. The cut on my back wasn’t deep, but was definitely unpleasant – not to mention how dirty it has made me over all.But the worst part was… the fact that it wouldn’t just end up there. I limped back toward my place, dragging myself while I was still conscious. I found her in the corner, sobbing. Stupid brat. “I am sorry, Levi… I am so sorry…” I slammed the door behind me and locked it. The pain slowly took over. I had to sit down, so I did.“Shut up, you sniveling brat. Bring me some water, and something clean. Hurry up.”She obeyed once again, though she was frightened. I must’ve looked like shit. She has helped me clean up my face, and helped with the wound on my back which I couldn’t reach well. She has cleaned it the best she could, and kept following my instructions on how to wrap me up. “Stop crying.” She tried. “It’s all my fault. That you are hurt. I am so sorry…” “Shut up and give me that bottle.” I have washed my arms once again and wiped my face with the towel that she brought. I have moved towards the mattress of bed and lied down. I felt like crap. “Where did you trade the goddamn jewels?” I asked. She admitted where to. I sighed. The shit seemed like an endless nightmare. “I am sorry.” “Are you, now?” She nodded. She couldn’t bear to look at me. “You screwed up. Royaly. But I am going to fix it. And you will never hide anything from me again,” I’ve stated. The tears slid down her cheeks.“Tch… just, stop with the fucking tears.” “I can’t help it,” she whispered. “Yeah, I see that. Come over here.” She climbed onto the bed, and curled down next to me.“I am sorry.” “Like that’s going to improve the situation.” “I am, though. Sorry, I mean.”“I know.” Despite it hurt like Hell, I allowed her to lean onto my chest. She was anxious and still shaken, but it somehow calmed her down when she would lie next to me. For some strange way, it brought her comfort. It made me uncomfortable, because I wasn’t her damn mother. “I just wanted to be useful for once,” she said.“You should’ve told me what you were planning to do. It was dangerous to just… go out there and do what you did.” “I can see that now. I am sorry they…”“It’s over now. Go to sleep.” “Will they… keep coming for you? For me?” They would, have they lived. But the real question is… how much does lady Dietrich really know about the whole situation. “They won’t.” “I will never to something like that again,” she promised. “Does it hurt much?” “It hurts like Hell.”“And how much is that?” “Never mind.” “I am sorry you are in pain.” “Just… shut the fuck up already, will you?”I turned to face her. She was worried and sad. I pinched her nose. Slightly.“You are ugly when you cry, Ezra.” She laughed. Shortly. She touched my cheek, and her hand felt warm against my skin. She gave me a small, fast peck as well.“What happened with 'I am a boy and you are a girl' thing?” I asked. “It was just to ease the pain!” her face got all red. I rolled my eyes. “And where did you hear that?”“If I fell and hurt myself, mom would kiss me and it would pass.”“You don’t say.”“It is true! Did it work? Are you still in pain?” I had to humor her.“No. You miraculously healed me.” “Yay!” What a brat. Really. “Levi?” “Go to sleep already or I will smack you.” “For real?” she sounded terrified. I still felt guilty about that slap. “No.” I tucked her side of the bed, making her properly covered. “I didn’t mean to hit you earlier. I am sorry about that.” “I will never throw things off the table again.” “Good. Now, go to sleep. Stop pestering me.” She did. She remained silent until she’s fallen asleep – but I couldn’t. I had to figure out what to do next.The solution was quite simple, really – so in the next period I tracked down the infamous lady. After she has refused to let me find her jewels and compensate her that way, and not leaving either of us two alone - I saw no other option but to threaten her. When that didn’t work either, and after she wanted to retaliate by selling Ezra… I had to end it the only way I knew. Not something I am proud of, but ultimately the necessary thing I had to do. Ezra just had to learn all her lessons the hard way, but at least she kept learning, and we somehow kept prevailing. But little did I know… about the dark and dangerous path that was forming in front of her... and for better or for worse, she has already taken her first step.
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PART 5 - The Point Of No Return
Warning: This chapter has slightly disturbing content (attempted rape). However, it isn't graphic or descriptive enough for a mature filter. Correct me if I'm wrong, and I will put the filter.
Over the following year, the compromise which we established was clear, and a pretty simple one – she would keep stealing under my surveillance, and I would keep her out of the harm’s way. She has never done anything without my consent, and every plan I’ve conceived, she would follow without any complaints. For a short time, I was overlooking her. After a while, I had to let her become more independent. We, the children of the Underground, had to learn to grow up fast.In days when I couldn’t take care of her because of various missions I had to partake, I was bringing her to brothel girls. Vesna was teaching her to play cards, even better than I could.
It was kind of Vesna’s thing… playing cards. She excelled in it that often, she would make this arrangement – she would challenge the clientele to play with her, and whoever would win – would get to spend a night with her, free of charge. She was so good that the only one who managed to win against her was Vladimir Schwarz. It had to take a better liar and cheater to outwit Vesna, and see through her. He was the only person she found interesting, and she was bought from Madam Tania by him. He provided a monthly sum for her - she had her own room and her privacy. The other working girls hated her for it. She obviously had a very special status for a serving girl. But, Regulus insisted… and no one dared to defy Regulus. Not long after Ezra spent some time with Vesna, she has started playing surprisingly well. She was starting to seriously gamble – and in brothel, you could find a lot of scoundrels to gamble with.
The income wasn’t half that bad for an eight year old. Her devilish charm has even earned her bonuses. She would act all sweet and sugary until she relieved them of their money. And when she got in trouble, the working girls would come to defend her. And, for some odd reason, they were quite fond of her. I have come to pick her up. She strolled over to my side, and other girls were starting to greet her with hugs and kisses along the way. “Bring her next time, Levi!” “You absolutely have to!”“Little E is so precious!” Little E. Damn me, she knew how to get under anyone’s skin. Especially Margot’s. The redhead just loved her, but she also had to tease: “Bring ‘er up, so she can get a proper education! Let us teach ‘er a thing or two!”“Mind your own damn business, woman.”I have responded.“Education?” Little E asked.“You are getting enough education as it is. There will be enough time for you to learn anything and everything in the due time.”Margot just didn’t want to give up that easily:“We will save ‘er a place to work, even! Do ya know how hard it is for lassie to find a job these days?” “If the need arises, I will be her macro. You don’t have to worry so much about her future. Ezra, go.”Ezra has giggled, repeating the word 'macro' despite not knowing what it meant... and walked towards the exit. “Levi, wait.” Vesna has showed up on the doorstep. I have walked back towards her.“Did you hear from him?” From Regulus. He was imprisoned for some time, so she hasn’t seen him in a while. He did send money to and for her, though.“I did. In two months, he will get out, and he will take a job at Sanctuary.” He was imprisoned for killing seven people in the local inn. They got into some Slavic argument that involved a lot of mother-cursing, and a lot of bloody beheading. He has killed them, finished the fifth shot of rakija, and went to prison to surrender. He claimed their cells weren’t half bad, and that he was served remotely decent food. What a freak. “Sanctuary, as… the orphanage?” “Indeed.” “It’s good to know. I would go and visit, but…” Her legs were starting to deteriorate. In a few years, she won’t be able to walk.“Thanks for looking for her,” I said. “Anytime. She’s a good kid. And a good gambler, I must say. She is awfully quick to pick up the tricks.”“Is she, now?” “She has earned Margot’s daily income already. Just by playing cards.” “Tch… you two… just… be careful. Especially you. Don’t let her get too carried away.”She has smiled. “You sound like a worrying mother.”I frowned. “If she gets killed or mutilated over drawing the damn paper card, I will hold you personally responsible.” Vesna has smiled again. Warmly. Her beauty was ethereal. Unearthly. “It won’t be the cards that get her into a real trouble.”“Another one of your damn visions, huh? Let me remind you. I don’t buy that crap.”“No… I am not talking about my other cards. It’s just a common sense. Listen… some of our clients have already noticed her. Some have pretty twisted appetites. Some prefer… small girls. Or boys. And while we are doing our best to keep her isolated, for she is mostly in my room… she has been seen by some pretty powerful men. Disgusting men. It’s not… really safe to bring her here frequently.” Damn. It was already starting to happen. And she was just… eight years old. “She should stop coming altogether. She is already a thief and a fraud. I don’t want her to be raped for it at some point.” Little did I know… back when I’ve said it.Vesna’s smile was sad this time. “The girls will miss her. I know that I will.” “I will bring her when the danger passes. Or, when she learns to defend herself properly.”It would take years, I recon. I have started teaching her how to use a knife, but she was desperately clumsy and already had a few unintentional cuts… so I gave up. Cards were… more appropriate for her.“I might not live to see that. Bring her sooner,” she softly whispered. “I will.”“There aren’t many Slavs here that I can talk to. She is really endearing. That aside… she reminds me of an old friend. Do you remember Lyza?”That did sound familiar. That name… and that distant memory. Vesna wanted to make a point:“Kutchel has shared a room with her. I don’t know if you can remember, you were a kid yourself… but she had a citizenship so she had often traveled from Mitras to the Underground City.”Yes. She was providing for her family and relatives who weren’t so lucky to obtain the papers. Regulus has even dated her shortly, before she left off, marrying some important guy from Mitras.“I remember. She often wore veils to cover her face, for she was involved in some shady stuff and the Military Police was looking for her. But, during her stay… Olympia didn’t have to work, so I was really grateful. I got to spend a lot of time with my mother. Lyza was paying for both of them, and for the room. However… Lyza was all intense, wearing over-sized shirts, and talking all those things I couldn’t understand.”“I wonder…”she was about to say something when we heard the footsteps. “Levi, are we going?” Ezra has returned to look for me. For a moment, I tried to envision Lyza. When I looked at her… no. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t have been her… for it would be just too cruel. “Vesna… I will bring her back as soon as it is safe. Take care.”“Will do. And you two… take care of each other.”She didn’t have to say twice. -------------------------------The best option at that time… was to send her into the orphanage. Sanctuary, it was called… but it hasn’t lived up to its name. At all. I was having a hard time to bring that decision, and I was delaying it for as long as I could. But, my tasks were getting out of hand and it was risky to have her around. I was putting her in further danger, and I wasn’t able to live with that responsibility anymore. I had to solve some problems prior to bringing her back home. And so, I forced her to stay in the orphanage. I gave her up.Naturally, she was having a hard time adapting. She protested. She threw a tantrum. She was crying. And screaming. Then begging. Everything has been absolutely mortifying to me, but I still knew… I had to leave her there. She couldn’t stand Mrs. Gibbs, the owner. That woman did the cooking, washing, all the stuff that were supposed to be done by her… but she has also provided smaller portions of food, almost starving the children to death. The more of them died, the more money ended up in her pocket because she had fewer mouths to feed. She has barely taken any real care of the children. Ezra didn’t make many friends in there, aside from a girl who has died several months after she was brought. In all her naivety, Ezra believed that praying would save that child. The girl still died of some unknown disease, and Ezra lost the little faith she had, and detached even further. Regulus was taking care of her in my stead, and for the most of time, he was observing and guarding her. He brought her food and nourished her. He was janitor in that orphanage so it wasn’t a big deal to him. He did, however, show strange, father-like affection towards the girl. Something I have never seen coming from that fool before. In his grumpy, strict way, he has even showed that he loved her. He has helped her with reading and learning Cyrillic letters, how to speak properly in Slavic, and he often argued with her. He was becoming the parent she has lacked… and was starting to give her that comfort that only a parent could provide. Something I was never able to give her, even if I ever wanted to… and I didn’t. I was too young for something that complex. Not me… and not him… could do anything about what was to come next. --------------------------The news about the adoption came from Mrs. Gibbs. The man has asked to meet me too. I indulged them, because the opportunity seemed to be fair. “I don’t want to go, Levi. I don’t like it!” were the first words she spoke through tears.
I was about to burst. “They say he is a good man. He will take a good care of you, Ezra. He will give you things you have never even dreamed of having. He will give you food, clothes, a home…”He promised all of it. He was wealthy enough to buy anything he wanted. “You gave me all those things! I don’t want…” she protested, refusing to let me go. She was hugging me tightly. “Ezra.” I had to be cold. “I’ve had enough. You aren’t my child, you aren’t my sister. We aren’t even kindred. You are nothing to me. I am tired of having to constantly take care of you. This man wants to give you a home. This is for your own good, and you will go. Do you understand?” I demanded from her to be reasonable. I needed to see it more than she needed it to act like it.
“You… you don’t mean that,” she was upset, yet terrified to hear that I was able of shoving her aside just like that. And so…“I do,” I spoke harshly. Even more to how I planned for it to sound. She kept staring at me. She was expecting something… that I deny it. To take back those words… but still….“You are going with that man. You are going to become a noblewoman, a lady, and you are going to learn many new things, and have many new toys. You will eat thrice a day. You will drink from the most refined tea-cups and eat with silver spoons or something. Ezra, that man is rich. You will never starve.” She held a sob, and was defiantly looking at me. “Come with me. Please, come with me…” she has pulled my hand. I have put mine at the top of her head. “This isn’t the last time we see each other, I will definitely find you to make sure you are all right. I will manage somehow. Vladimir has people up there, so don’t cry. I will come and visit.”I was telling her the tale and she knew it. Chances that I earn citizenship were quite slim back then… but I was going to try anyhow. I slightly pinched her cheek. “Remove that horrible, gloomy expression.”She was looking at me with those sharp eyes, filled with tears. “No.”“Tch… you are stubborn as Hell.”Just to be sure… I gave her something. A white piece of cloth, wrapped around a metal object. “Just in case. Hide it well.” She rose on her toes and grabbed my shirt.“I don’t want to go!” “Ezra…” “Don’t leave me!” she begged, and I allowed her a few more moments. I was stroking treads of that long, black hair, and remained silent. Briefly. “I have to. Behave, brat.” I pushed her away, not looking at her, and stormed out of the room. I couldn’t help it. When I was far enough… when I reached our home… I have screamed my lungs out. I have slammed everything around me, until I broke everything… anything… that reminded me of her.All the memories of us, living and surviving somehow. That’s when I broke down and started to cry.The guilt was about to swallow me whole.--------------------------------Gilford seemed like a decent person, for a nobleman. He wasn’t one of those arrogant pricks who undermine anyone who wasn’t of their status. He was polite, decent, and seemed refined. He had good manners and all. He seemed like he was genuinely a good man who wanted to shelter one of children in need of home. He wanted to be a father but was never able to be one. His wife died and he never re-married. And so… he just wanted to adopt, and the choice fell on Ezra. Regulus was angry. He hated the fact that she was going. He wasn’t talking to me in weeks. He didn’t want her to go any more than I did… but Gibbs insisted that she would never get an opportunity as good as that one. I had to make a choice… and to live with it. But, if that meant that she could have a better life… why not? At first – she had it all. She got all that fancy stuff a kid would like. New clothes, new toys. Better food. Better education. Tutors. She was learning new languages, history, poetry. Even arts.
She has even played violin for a while. I have visited three times by his special permision, and everything was in order. He was taking a good care of her and he was seemingly a good parent. But, he didn’t like me that much, so my visits were brief. I started to suspect that something was off after seeing that her character was gradually starting to change. She was withdrawing herself… into herself. Something was seriously wrong, but I couldn’t tell what exactly. My fourth visit… came to bear a surprise. My hunch wasn’t wrong. “Hide it well. We’ve been talking about this. If you are in some kind of danger, don’t hesitate. Always keep it somewhere where you can pull it fast. Remember it, Ezra. I mean it.”I have found her, roaming the streets of Capital. Her nightgown was soaked in blood, and I was afraid that I was too late. Too late to save her from that terrible mistake. My grave miscalculation. She was holding the knife I gave her. She used it against him, I saw the body before looking for her outside of the house.Regulus was just behind me. We both had faked papers for the Capital. One look at her, and he clenched his teeth. He turned on his heel. “I will take care of it,” he muttered. He has rushed towards the house where Gilford's body has lied… in pile of his own blood, slashed from his throat.I have approached her, and she refused to get into my arms.“It’s okay,” I’ve said. “It’s me… Ezra…”She shook her head. She was about to vomit. I was about to cry.“Look at me… here…” She shook her head once more, and was hugging the damn blade like it was some kind of relic. “Come…” I have offered my hand. “I will never leave you again. I swear. Come… come home…” My eyes were the ones that filled with tears this time. She was numb, and I was guilty… of letting her go, of not seeing… of disappointing her, of making her reach this state. It was the point of no return. I didn't know how to fix this. I was truly, utterly helpless. “He… tried…” she whispered. She couldn't end that sentence. We were both shaking. She was in shock and I was furious. Furious that he wasn't still alive so I could torture him slowly and painfully before showing him mercy when killing him. In that moment, though... I was strangely proud... that she was able to protect herself. Even like this. Even at this age. “I will never… let that happen again. No one will ever try… anything…”She threw the blade on the floor and reached out for me.It was probably the longest hug that I have given. To anyone. Ever.