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G’day my name is Mick Sni’per Mentalsickness Kangaroo Mundy and I have short dirt brown hair (that’s not how I got my name) in a mullet that reaches my neck and dark blue eyes like hot springs and people tell me I look like Mick Dundee (AN: if you don’t know who he is get da hell out of there!) I’m not related to Saxton Hale but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a professional but I have standards. I have pale tan skin. I’m also an assassin, and I work at a remote base called 2fort in New Mexico where it’s the seventh year of the gravel war (I’m thirty-seven). I’m a marksman (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly red. I love Mann Co. and I get all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a brown vest with a matching glove and a red shirt, dark tan pants and brown cowboy boots. I was wearing orange sunglasses, a brown watch, a teeth necklace, and a brown hat. I was walking outside 2fort. It was hot and dry so there was a lot of sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of civilians stared at me. I put my middle finger up at them. “Hey Sniper!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was… Spy!“What’s up Spy?” I asked.“Nothing.” he said shyly. But then, I heard the timer counting down to the match and I had to go away. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXAN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!
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The next day I woke up in my camper van. It was hot and sunny again. I opened the door of my van and drank some moonshine from a jar I had. My van was dusty white and inside it was green and blue with an Australian flag on the bed. I got out of my bed and took of my giant AC/DC t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a red work shirt, a teeth necklace, cowboy boots and brown trousers on. I put on some teeth in my hat band, and slicked my hair back in a kind of messy style.My owl, Sir Hootsalot (AN: fuck u) woke up then and hooted at me. He flipped his short dirt brown feathers with dark streaks and opened his blood-red eyes. He put on his Alice Cooper t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our sunglasses (matching orange aviators.)“OMFG, I saw you talking to Spy yesterday!” he hooted excitedly.“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.“Do you like Spy?” he asked as we went out of the van and into the outside of the base.“No I so bloody don’t!” I shouted.“Yeah right!” he exclaimed. Just then, Spy walked up to me.“Hi.” he said.“Hi.” I replied flirtily.“Guess what.” he said.“What?” I asked.“Well, Midnight Oil are having a concert in Teufort.” he told me.“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love MO. They are my favorite band, besides AC/DC.“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.
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On the night of the concert I put on my brown dress shoes with low heels. Underneath them were striped red socks. Then I put on a brown leather jacket with all this gold stuff on the back and front. I put on a matching glove on my arms. I slicked my hair back and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I shot someone from a mile away. I read a depressing book while I waited for them to stop bleeding and I listened to some MO. I painted my nails black and put on my orange sunglasses. Then I put on a tooth necklace. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some moonshine so I was ready to go to the concert.I went outside. Spy was waiting there in front of his car. He was wearing an INXS shirt (they would play at the show too), tight black tuxedo pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl mercz wer it ok!). “Hi Spy!” I said in a depressed voice.“Hi Sniper.” he said back. We walked into his red Peugeot (the license plate said YOURMOM) and drove to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Midnight Oil and Alice Cooper. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Midnight Oil.“The Breakfast Creek Hotel is up for saleThe last square mile of terra firma gavelled in the mailSo farewell to the Norfolk Island pinesNo amount of make believe can help this heart of mine.” sang Peter (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).“Peter is so bloody hot.” I said to Spy, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.Suddenly Spy looked sad.“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.“Really?” asked Spy sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Peter and he’s going out with Olivia fucking Newton-John. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Spy. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Rob and Peter for their autographs and photos with them. We got MO concert tees. Spy and I crawled back into the Peugeot, but Spy didn’t go back into 2fort, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Badlands!
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AN: I sed stup flaming ok mick’s name is MCIK nut gary stu OK! SPY IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!“SPY!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”Spy didn’t answer but he stopped the car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.“What the bloody hell?” I asked angrily.“Sniper?” he asked.“What?” I snapped.Spy leaned in extra-close and I looked into his mysteriously eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.And then…………… suddenly just as I Spy kissed me passionately. Spy climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my hat. Then he (AN: cut out a few sentences here bc fuck u lol! read da original! use ur imagination XD!) And then….“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”It was…………………………………………………….The Administrator!
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The Administrator made and Spy and I follow her. She kept shouting at us angrily.“You ludacris fools!” she shouted.I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Spy comforted me. When we went back to the base The Administrator took us to Bidwell and Miss Pauling who were both looking very angry.“They were having sexual intercourse in the Badlands!” she yelled in a furious voice.“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Miss Pauling.“How dare you?” demanded Bidwell.And then Spy shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”Everyone was quiet. The Administrator and Miss Pauling still looked mad but Bidwell said. “Fine. Very well. You may go back to your rooms.”Spy and I went outside while the overseers glared at us.“Are you okay, Sniper?” Spy asked me gently.“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to my van and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a brown thigh-length jacket with a red scarf around it and grey cowboy boots. When I came out….Spy was standing in front of the van, and he started to sing ‘Warakurna’ by Midnight Oil. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.
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The next day I woke up in my van. I put on brown trousers and a matching vest with a red striped sweater underneath it and cowboy boots that were brown. I put on a skull necklace, and four bullets in my vest pocket. I slicked my hair back.In the mess hall, I ate some Coco Pops cereal with moonshine instead of milk, and a glass of brown moonshine. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the moonshine spilled over my top.“Wanker!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic girl with curled black hair with blue streaks in it. She was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and she was wearing red lipstick. She didn’t have glasses and now she was wearing blue contact lenses just like Spy’s and there was no scar on her forhead anymore. She had a womanly curve of her chin. She had a sexy Boston accent. She looked exactly like Jackie Kennedy. She was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw her kind of like an erection only I’m gay so I didn’t get one you sicko.“I’m so sorry.” she said in a shy voice.“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.“My name’s Lucy Elbertson, although most people call me Ma these days.” she grumbled.“Why?” I exclaimed.“Because I have 8 kids.” she giggled.“Well, I am a professional.” I confessed.“Really?” she whimpered.“Yeah.” I roared.We sat down to talk for a while. Then Spy came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.
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Spy and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red team logos on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Garu Stu 2 u?). I waved to Ma. Dark misery was in her depressed eyes. I guess she was jealous of me that I was going out with Spy. Anyway, I went across the base excitedly with Spy. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………We started frenching passively and we (an: read the original)I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Spy’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Lucy!I was so angry.“You wanker!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Spy pleaded. But I knew too much.“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Spy ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Ma’s room where she was having a discussion with Bidwell and some other people.“SCOUT'S MA, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.
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Everyone in the base stared at me and then Spy came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.“Sniper, it’s not what you think!” Spy screamed sadly.My friend P’yro Arson smiled at me understatedly (AN: behind da mask ok?). They flipped their [REDACTED] REDACTED] hair and looked at me with their black eyes like a dark void that they were wearing their mask over. They had a black mask that he was wearing no makeup on. P’yro was kidnapped when they were born. Their real parents are [REDACTED] and one of them is a [REDACTED] but Gray Mann killed their mother and her father [REDACTED] because he was depressed about it. They still have nightmares about it and they are very haunted and depressed. It also turns out their real last name is [REDACTED] and not [REDACTED]. (Since they have converted to Destruction they are in RED team now not BLU. )“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Bidwell demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.“Ma, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Spy!” I shouted at him.Everyone gasped.(AN: SPY POV!!1)I don’t know why Sniper was so mad at me. I had went out with Ma (I’m bi and so is Sniper) for a while but then she broke my heart. She dumped me because she liked Bob, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. She had gone through horrible problems, and now she was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)(AN: back 2 snpier pov xD!!!)“But I’m not going out with Spy anymore!” said Ma.“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bogan!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Badlands where I had lost my virility to Spy and then I started to bust into tears.
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I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Spy for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Spy.Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with brown eyes and a long nose and everything started flying towards me on a eagle! He had a long nose (basically like Gray Mann in the comics) and he was wearing all gray but it was obvious he wasn’t gravel. It was…… Gray Mann!“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Gray Mann shouted “Amongus!” and I couldn’t run away.“Crikey!” I shouted at him. Gray Mann fell of his eagle and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.“Sniper.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Ma!”I thought about Ma and her sexah eyes and her gothic black hair and how her face looks just like Jackie Kennedy. I remembered that Spy had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Spy went out with Ma before I went out with him and they broke up?“No, Gray Mann!” I shouted back.Gray Mann gave me another gun. “No! Please!” I begged.“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Spy!”“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.Gray Mann got a dude-ur-so-lead-poisoned look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Ma, then thou know what will happen to Spy!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his eagle.I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Spy came into the woods.“Spy!” I said. “Hi!”“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing a red balaclava and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Peter Garret and Saxton Hale.“Are you okay?” I asked.“No.” he answered.“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into the base together making out.
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I was really scared about Gray Mann all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my Australian metal band Moonshiney Professional Bottlebrush 420. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between Midnight Oil, Men at Work and AC/DC. The other people in the band are Pyro, Ma, Spy, Engineer (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hveavy. Only today Spy and Ma were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Spy was probably shooting his revolver (he wouldn’t die because he was hooked up to respawn too and the only way you can kill someone hooked up to respawn is with a o-u-t-o-f-b-o-u-n-d-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Ma was probably watching a depressing movie like Threads. I put on a red buttondown shirt that showed off my vivisection scars and tiny matching cargo shorts that said INXS on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.We were singing a cover of ‘Thunderstruck’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.“Sniper! Are you OK?” S’cout asked in a concerted voice.“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Gray Mann came and the bloody bogan told me to fucking kill Lucy! But I don’t want to kill her, because, she’s really nice, even if she did go out with Spy. But if I don’t kill Lucy, then Gray Mann, will fucking kill Spy!” I burst into tears.Suddenly Spy jumped out from behind a wall.“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser bushman bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)I started to cry and cry. Spy started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly The Administrator walked in angrily! Her eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause she had a headache.“What have you done!” She started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time she wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Sniper Spy has been found in the desert. He died by being out of respawn range.”
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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! P’yro tried to comfort me but I told them fuck off and I ran to my van crying myself. The Administrator chased after me shouting but she had to stop when I went into my room cause she would look like a wanker that way.Anyway, I started crying tears of moonshine and then I stabbed two people. The blood got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the outdoor shower angrily while I put on a Buffalo song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my mouth to commit eating. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the shower and put on a brown low-cut vest with crocodile scales all over it. I put on brown cuffed boots with metal buckles on them and four jars of Jarate. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Bidwell was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Reddy was masticating to it! They were sitting in their Mann Co. issued car.“EW, YOU BLOODY PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU WEIRDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Alice Cooper on it. Suddenly Ma ran in.“Abra Kedavra!” she yelled at Bidwell and Reddy pointing her gun. I took my SMG and shot Bidwell and Reddy a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, The Administrator ran in. “Sniper, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she shouted looking at Bidwell and Reddy and then she waved her cigarette and suddenly…Heavy ran outside and said everyone we need to talk.“What do you know, Heavy? You’re just a little RED mercenary!”“I MAY BE A RED MERCENARY….” Heaveavy paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A RUSSIAN!”“This cannot be.” Bidwell said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where my gun had shot him. “There must be other factors.”“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.Reddy held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough moonshine.“Why are you doing this?” Reddy said angrily while he rubbed his buttery hands on his jacket (an: he wuz eatin popcorn XD!).And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Haevy said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his sandvich in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by Lyudmila Zykina.“Because you’re russin?” Bidwell asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Russia.“Because I LOVE HIM!”
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I was about to stab someone again with the silver knife that Spy had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both kill together.“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS HEIAVry but it was Ma. She started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites.I stopped. “How did u know?”“I saw it! And my scar turned back into the butterfly knife!”“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.“I do but Diabolo changed it into a cauliflower for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” she said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the butterfly knife! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Spy…………….Gray Mann has him bondage!”Anyway I was in the infirmary office now recovering from my stabbing people. Bidwel and Reddy and HEAHY were there too. They were going to St. Congers’s after they recovered cause they were maniacs and you can’t have those fucking maniacs working in a base with lots of other maniacs. The Administrator had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.Anyway Heavry came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.“Sniper I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up gunmen like you.” I snapped. Heavry had been mean to me before for being a profesinal.“No Sniper.” Heavry says. “Those are not roses.”“What, are they pros too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Marilyn Monroe p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Bidwell and Reddy.” Who MASTICITED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.He pointed his shotgun at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Pick up the phone I’m always home call me anYTIME! .“That’s not a spell that’s an AC/DC song.” I corrected him wisely.“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo alternate directi currentus (4 all u cool rokker ac/dc fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for maria I love you girl!)highwayo too hello!”And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.“OK I believe you now wtf is Spy?”Heaiviy rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.“U c, Sinpper,” Admistrator said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD WOMAN!” Hveavy yelled. aDMInistratre lookd shockd. I guess she didn’t have a headache or else she would have said something back.Heaiviy stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, administratorr!”Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a red camouflage jacket that was all worn at the ends with blood on it. There was some zipper stuff on the front. Then I put on black cargo pants and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Robert Plant on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Mick Dundee from Crocodile Dundee (if u don’t know who he iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on sand-orange sunglasses, a brown hat and a teeth necklace.“You look professional, mann.” P’yro Arson said sadly. “Ta (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I stabbed two people feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so BIdwel and Reddy couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some battles. Ma was in the Antechamber of Intelligent Intel. She looked all depressed because Spy had disappeared and she had used to be in love with Spy. She was stabbing some blood from a civilian. “Hi.” she said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.We both looked at each other for some time. Lucy had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Spys. Then……… we jumped on each other and started punching each other.“STOP IT NOW YOU BLOODTHIRSTY SIMPLETONS!” shouted MIss Pauling who was watching us and so was everyone else.“Ma you wanker!” I said slapping her. “Stop trying to hit me. You know I loved Spy!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.Just then she started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites.“NO!” I ran up closer.“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.“I do but Diabolo changed it into a cauliflower for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” she said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Spy…………….Graf Mann has him bondage!”
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Ma and I ran up the stairs looking for the Administrator. We were so scared.“Administrator Amindstrator!” we both yelled. The Administrator came there.“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” she asked angrily.“Gras Mann has Spy!” we shouted at the same time.She laughed in an evil voice.“No! Don’t! We need to save Spy!” we begged.“No.” she said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Gray Mann does to Spy. Not after how much he misbehaved on the base especially with YOU Sniper.” she said while she frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then she walked away. Ma started crying. “My Draco!” she moaned. (AN: don’t u fik bi womn r lik so hot!)“Its okay!” I tried to tell her but that didn’t stop her. She started to cry tears of blood. Then she had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” she exclaimed.“What?” I asked her.“You’ll see.” she said. She took out her gun and fired a bullet. Then…… suddenly we were in Gray Mpnn’s lair!We ran in with our guns out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Eagle Attack!”
It was……………………………….. Gray Mann!
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We ran to where Grac Mann was. It turned out that Gray Mann wasn’t there. Instead the woman who killed Soldier (an: hes not ded i promse!!!11!) was. Spy was there crying tears of blood. Bea was torturing him. Ma and I ran in front of Bea.“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” she shouted as we started shooting her with the gun she Then suddenly she looked at me and she fell down with a lovey-dovey look in her eyes. “SniperIloveyouwilusparwithme.” she said. (im not bothering to replace this fucking authors note fuck you)“Huh?” I asked.
”Snpier I love you will you spar with me?” asked Bea. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fight you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed her in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.“Nooooooooooooo!” she screamed. She started screaming and running around. Then she fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.“Bea what art thou doing?” called Gray Mann. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got in my van and we drove to the base. We went to my parking spot. Ma went away. There I started crying.“What’s wrong mon amour?” asked Spy taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other mercs and preps here except for P’yro Arson, because they’re not ugly or anything.”“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking boudins.” answered Spy.“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Bidwell and Reddy took a video of me naked. Heavry says he’s in love with me. Ma likes me and now even Bea is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Spy! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less handsome?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory snpier isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told him hes handsome) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A BLOODY CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.
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“Sniper Sniper!” shouted Spy sadly. “No, please, come back!”But I was too mad.“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Ma!” I shouted. I stormed into my van and closed my beige door with my piss-yellow key. It had a picture of Alice Cooper on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Spy and Ma. I started to cry and weep. I took a gun and started to shoot someone from a mile away. I pissed in a jar all depressed. Then I looked at my black MO watch and noticed it was time to go to the shooting range.I put on a short ripped red professional jacket that said #1 Sniper on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on worn black cargo pants and boots that said Peter all over them with blood red letters. I put my bullet black hair out. Anyway I went to the base feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced shooting. I was picking off a tiny bottle from a mile away. Suddenly the bottle turned to Spy!“Sinper I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most handsome boy in the world. Before I met you I used to want to backstab people all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “Blue Sky Mine” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Peter was singing it) right in front of the entire base! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Robert, Peter, Dave, Michael and Alice Cooper (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in red blood and were entwined with Spy’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Olivia Newton-John (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and John Travolta in Two Of A Kind. Then we went away holding hands. Reddy shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that AC/DC would have a concert in Teufrot right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.