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"Good luck, Team 7!" wishes the Hokage, as their team leaves his office. Kakashi-sensei says that, since this is their first mission out-of-Village, they'll go pack together. First, they go to Sasuke's place, then the Deadlast's, and lastly the Nuisance's.The Nuisance's studio, it turns out, looks like it belongs to someone with multiple personality disorder, where one personality has OCD cleaning tendencies, and the other is a world-class hoarder. That is: the floor literally gleams, and all of the clothes are perfectly folded. And, separately, the futon is covered in empty, golden cans that were once filled with a specific brand of decaffeinated, sugar-free cola. There are also stacks, and stacks, and more stacks of overdue library books. "Hey Sakura-chan..." comments the Deadlast, dangling a library book by its cover, "I think if you returned these books, you'd be able to use your own library card instead of always borrowing mine..."The Nuisance's eyes narrow. She snatches the book back, then returns it gently to its place in the leaning piles. She snaps, "Don't touch my books!" so fiercely, that it almost seems like steam should be coming out of her mouth.Kakashi-sensei brings the team back under control, "You can argue on the way, OK, Sakura-chan? Pack first, please."She fills half of her backpack with the obvious equipment: sleeping roll, rations, extra kunai, rope, and first-aid kit. And then, she tries to fill the rest of the space with books and empty soda cans. Luckily Kakashi-sensei makes her remove all but one of the books, and all but one of the cans. "Wow, Sakura-chan," the Deadlast says, when they're finally on their way, "I didn't know that you were such a big fan of Decaf-Cola-Light.""The soda's fine. It's the cans, that I like.""Aren't they just... cans?""They're *shiny*.""... Cup-noodle containers make good planters?""Hnn," snorts Sasuke, incredulously. "Yeah, well, you're useless too, *teme*.""Naruto-baka! Don't be rude to Sasuke-kun!" The Nuisance slaps her hand onto the Deadlast's head.Sasuke regrets saying anything.****"Yes, *of course*, I know it hasn't rained!""Hnn.""Shut up, teme! Sakura-chan was guarding Tazuna, and *I* won't freeze up again!"The Nuisance smacks the Deadlast in the arm."What?! That wasn't even *rude*, Sakura-chan!""Hnn.""*You're* rude, you jerk!"The Nuisance smacks the Deadlast again."Ow! Hey, Sakura-chan, you *heard* what that prick said..."Sasuke sighs. He doesn't know *why* he even bothers talking.He looks over at Kakashi-sensei, seemingly unperturbed by the chaos behind him, and resolves to put it behind himself too. *****The choppy water rocks the boat. Sasuke won't admit it, but he's worried that he's going to end up sea-sick. What type of shinobi gets sea-sick?The boat lurches, and he forces himself not to gag. But, he must have made a sound, because the Nuisance turns to him. "Oh, no! Sasuke-kun! Why didn't you tell me you get sea-sick! Here" - she shoves a packet of ginger candy at him - "eat some of these!" Sasuke does, and - surprisingly - it helps. It also helps, that the waves seem to die down a bit. Actually, they must have died down a lot, if the Nuisance can lean over the edge of the boat, and trail her fingertips in the water. "Wow, Miss," says the boat's Pilot. "You'd be a big hit with the fishermen." "Oh, I *know*," says the Nuisance, amazingly smug about having packed some candy.(Actually, Sasuke doesn't remember that packet of ginger candy from their packing session. How distracted had he been? What type of shinobi gets that distracted on their first C-rank mission?)"It's a trick I learned from my Father," She continues."I didn't know you had a Dad!" thrills the Deadlast. "Where is he?""Oh, somewhere that way," the Nuisance says, gesturing vaguely to the east and the open ocean. Kakashi-sensei perks up. "Ne, Sakura-chan, your Father is a Mist-shinobi?"The Nuisance laughs like that wouldn't be a serious security concern. "Oh no. He's just on the water a lot. He spends his time helping fishermen." She nods to the listening Pilot."When is Haruno-san going to be back in Konoha?""Well, first, 'Haruno-san' was my Mother, and now, I guess, me. And, second, I don't know. We'll have to wait until we see him, to ask."So, the Nuisance's Father is a deadbeat dad. At least that explains why she's so *boy-crazy*.The Deadlast says something stupid about the Nuisance's Father."No, my Father just liked the name. He said being 'of the Spring' was appropriate.""'Cherry Blossoms in Spring'. You've got a pretty name, Sakura-chan!""It's boring. Mother apparently had to choose my first name in a hurry. They were expecting both my hair *and* my eyes to be blue-green, you know?""But your pink hair is so pretty!""...I've got a cousin named *Toyotama*," huffs the Nuisance."Hnn." "Hey, don't be mean to Sakura-chan! It's not her fault that her Dad's a louse!"A heavy wave rocks the boat. It sends Sasuke and the Deadlast tumbling off their seats.The Pilot says "Sorry, sorry! Quiet, boys! On the water, you never know who's listening."That's true. They don't want to give away their position. What type of shinobi has to get reminders of the mission-rules from a civilian boat Pilot?*****They meet the Demon of of the Mist and barely escape with their lives. The fact that they escape, at all, is due to a *Kiri hunter nin.* Kaka- The Disappointment is unconscious.The fact that the Disappointment is unconscious is really inconvenient, because Sasuke really, really needs to know how he got a Sharingan. Also, he's heavy. The Nuisance, it turns out, is surprisingly strong for her body-type.*****It's incomprehensible: the Client almost seems to have relaxed now that they've arrived in Wave. He isn't drinking as much, he's actually been showering, and he's been humming prayer songs.Also, he's starting calling the Nuisance all sorts of creepy nicknames: "Umiko-hime" and "Eimi-hime" and "Kai-ojou".It's incredibly tedious to have to keep an eye on her, but Sasuke's not just going to leave her alone with a pedophile. No matter *how* annoying she is.Between shouting matches with the Deadlast, the Kid has been tripping over the Nuisance's heels. He keeps bringing her small presents: rocks with sparkly quartz crystals, shells with mother-of-pearl interiors, a sand-dollar, even a small scrap of linen with a haiku. The Nuisance seems charmed. (If this is the sort of courting behavior that girls expect, then count Sasuke out.)The Nuisance stores the offerings in her empty Decaf-Cola-Light can. She unpacks the contents, inspects them, and then repacks them, three-or-four-or-ten times per day. That 'clinking' sound, of rocks falling into an aluminum can, is really aggravating. Especially, because the Nuisance seems to find the ritual *relaxing*, so she does it exactly when Sasuke is trying to meditate.Sasuke asks her, politely and repeatedly, to do her sorting some other time. After she's proved unwilling to compromise -
"But, Sasuke-kun, then they'll get *dirty*!", and
"But, Sasuke-kun, this one looks like your eyes!", and
"But, Sasuke-kun, I don't want to lose them!"
- Sasuke eventually gets fed up. He takes her Decaf-Cola-Light can, and hides it at the top of the linen cupboard. Then, he goes back to refining his katas where he can keep both the Client and the Nuisance in his peripheral vision. After dinner, immediately upon opening their bedroom door, the Nuisance freezes. She seems to zero in the spot where her Decaf-Cola-Light can no longer sits. Some trick of the light makes it seem like she's steaming. Her eyes narrow to slits, she inhales heavily, and she taps her long fingernails on the door-frame. (
Honestly, how can any shinobi keep their fingernails that *long*?! Sasuke's fingernails break if he takes more than two weeks between trims, and he's surprisingly never heard the Nuisance complain about broken nails. He looks a bit closer at her nails. They *are* long but they've clearly been lacquered many-layers deep in a darker, metallic shade of her eye-color. They also, Sasuke realizes, look *sharp*.Sasuke scolds himself: What type of shinobi gets so caught up in their teammate's nail polish?
)After a few breathes of reflection, the Nuisance swings around and stalks over to the linen cupboard. She opens it up, snatches the Decaf-Cola-Light can from the top shelf, and tucks it lovingly up under her shirt. Then, she approaches Sasuke. "Don't touch my treasure!" she spits at him, illusionary steam curling up from her mouth."Hnn," retorts Sasuke."Because it's *mine*! Even *you* don't get to share it!" she concludes. In any event, Sasuke's entire endeavor backfires, because now she carries the Decaf-Cola-Light can - with its clinking and ever-growing collection of 'treasures' - everywhere that she goes. *****"Hey, Sakura-chan? Why do you like the teme so much, anyways?""Well, he's... *shiny*."Sasuke pulls his pillow over his head, and tries to go back to sleep. Gods, this *team*.He bets *that man* never had to deal with people like this.The next day, the Disappointment wakes up, and that doesn't make anything better.*****The Disappointment explains how to climb a tree with chakra, then vanishes.Sasuke hates to admit it, but - for once - the Nuisance's book-knowledge appears useful. She climbs the tree easily, then leaves to try water-walking.Sasuke is stuck in the clearing with the Deadlast. And the Deadlast seems to think that he'll get higher up the tree if he screams louder. If Sasuke gets out of this with any hearing left, it will be a miracle.When Sasuke gets back to the house, tired and still unsuccessful, he sees the Nuisance dancing on the water. He's never, ever going to admit it to anyone, but it looks... beautiful.*****Team 7 is at the bridge, fighting against the Demon and his Apprentice. They're being pushed back; it seems clear that Team 7's first mission will be their last. What kind of shinobi dies on their first mission?The Apprentice aims for the Deadlast. Some instinct causes Sasuke to shove the Deadlast out of the way. Sasuke barely has time to regret that he won't be able to kill *that man*, before -- before a rose-gold wall slams up in front of him. What the hell?The metallic wall is hard, and paneled with little diamond-shaped scales. And, it's not air-temperature, but rather... quite warm?Sasuke looks up, and up, and up some more. The rose-gold wall is, in fact, the side of a reptile. A *huge* reptile. With thick, sharp, metallic dark-blue-green nails, on it's three-clawed feet. With a thick, sharp, metallic rose-gold crest, on it's back. With blue-green eyes, narrowed ferociously, and a mouth with many, many, *many* sharp teeth. Super-heated steam spills out of its mouth, as it snarls:
"Don't. Touch. My. Team!"Then, faster than Sasuke's new Sharingan can follow, the Dragon snaps her head forwards and closes her jaws around both the Demon and the Apprentice.The Dragon uncurls herself from around Sasuke and the Deadlast. She gently opens one claw, and deposits a pristine Decaf-Cola-Light can on the ground. She lets out a little dainty burp - and a cloud of steam - and says, "That was convenient; I *had* been getting a bit hungry."